Nahm

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  1. That might be the thorn. There might be a deriving of time from apparent change, but perception is not apparent change. Apparent change is dualistic, and of thought, which is “itself” the consciousness, and thus can not be thought. Imagine a man made of clay, asking where the clay goes when “he sleeps”. To have a lucid dream is to realize One is Sleeping. Lucid?
  2. ‘External world’ is a thought. Perception is perception.
  3. @lostmedstudent It’s sounds like you’re trying to justify the fear & anxiety with the belief in death, via thinking... and feeling is not joining. Thinking is dualistic...”there is death, there isn’t death”. The path is not figuring out which one is right, but recognizing the ox, thinking itself, as the smokescreen of twoness that it ‘is’. It’s how one fools itself...’twoness’. Investigate & scrutinize direct experience. If feeling is in accord with what I’m saying here, break “death” down, scrutinize it, see that it is a facade even in logic & reason. Take ownership of the idea of it you created. Everyone else believed it, so you went along with it, naturally. Stop and inspect it. What was it you believed? Did anyone who told you...know Truth? Did anyone really tell you...or did you assume it? Everyone experiences loss, everyone mourns. Not everyone transcends their own idea of “death”, because that would mean they’re not the identify they’re attached to. Most look everywhere and take or belief anything, instead of inspecting. Go a layer deeper than you have thus far in investigation. Rather than justify it by supporting the case made by thinking, look to see through it, by supporting your own case for feeling. Google / Youtube things like “does the brain produce consciousness”. Do practices. Research them. Try a few feeling / awareness in the body practices. Try some breathing exercises. All roads are for release & relief. Investigate & transcend the duality of thinking there is “death”, rather than continuing to think about it. The belief you could cease to exist is never going to resonate with the core of you, with that-there-is-feeling, because that is existence. The belief is the discord. This tends to stir up confusion between beliefs of identity & attachment (thinking), and meaning, passion, happiness, pleasure & purpose (feeling). The answer to questions like “would I still be able to enjoy x if I was not believing in death...if I was not ‘separate selfing’...is that there already is not a separate self. You’re already free. You’re already doing whatever the heck you want, even is that is believing you are not. “We” is how our own creation is experienced, and there is not-two. The path is a backwards feat as the identity, like all reality, is Being, creating by forgetting. So the “answer” is always letting go, which is the same as saying, you just being you.The “answer” is always letting go of the question. The “solution” is always letting go of the problem. These are only a happening of thinking. Just you, as you are, however that is. No baggage of the past, no facets of identity derived of duality, like guilt, shame, insecurity, unworthiness - nothing which does not ring true in feeling. The resistance is loud & clear it seems. The body is infinite intelligence. The mind thinks it’s running things. Listen to the body. Care for yourself & love yourself. Get resistance out of the way for the body to heal. If eating cleaner is a solid opportunity for example, but it’s triggering...reframe that “triggering” as the body releasing. Let go. What you’re thinking fear is, isn’t. It just simply, isn’t. Just because you’re thinking that way, doesn’t mean it’s true, doesn’t mean feeling will go along. What’s not in your direct experience, that which you could worry about happening, or coming across your path, is ‘uncollapsed’, ‘uncreation’. Terms like “a state of every possibility” doesn’t begin to do you justice. Pure innocent infinite love. These words though are just like saying the ocean is very wet. You gotta let go and see. Tears are not really separate from the ocean in perception...only in thought. It’s like you put on a sensory body suit and a vr helmet, but forgot you did, and then claim it is ‘my state’. But it gets heavy after a while. We get tired of carrying it, and start let it go. Acceptance & forgiveness are for the acceptor & forgiver. Probably the most profoundly life changing thing anyone could do. Acceptance & forgiveness are understanding, which arises within us as knowing our being. Transcendence is not a climbing or achieving, it is letting all that does not serve you go, and being, the same being which all who ‘pass on’ are, and all ‘yet to come’ are. Never “gone”, the love within us what whole time. What a joke - depending on how you look at it. If you bring conditions on a trip to the unconditional...you either have a “bad trip”, or you met with the ineffable master. Wild, but which perspective you employ is up to you. You’re that free. I vote you cherish the realization of how much you’re carrying, and you start letting it go. The term “integrate” comes to mind. Don’t name feeling with labels like anxiety, fear, etc. It’s love misunderstood via the ignore-ance of truth, of listening to one’s own feeling, in spite of all idea’s about one’s self. Integrate your seeing of this suffering from your trips. Listen to that Truth, even, and especially, if you didn’t like what it said. Crying is good, release, and then smile and carryon. Understanding arises on it’s own accord when you empty as such. Thinking does little.
  4. @zeroISinfinity Someone’s the first to do anything.
  5. Eugene Oregon rocks.
  6. Just write on your dreamboard, “ice cream cone and some super glue” and watch that mystery manifest right before your eyes. It’ll all come together like magic. You will see. @traveler Safe & loving travels my traveling traveler friend. 🙏🏻
  7. @andyjohnsonman Because infinite and infinite is not an experience.
  8. @StripedGiraffe Really great. Beautiful. Thanks 🙏🏻
  9. Thinking about other people is a sneaky state we all go through to keep our feeling inside, to keep it from pouring out in a series of solid cry’s. But we don’t now that’s what’s going on because it’s ‘too close to home’. We bury the feeling growing up to cope and deal with whatever the environment is, to do our best at surviving & thriving in it, to make sense of it. Then later we start to recognize somethin just ain’t feelin right, and it’s the idea of ourself we created in that coping & just to get by and live around certain behaviors & actions which don’t resonate with the heart. From one perspective, it is not a fair thing, to have to experience the outpouring of feeling which was tucked away, a heart which was ‘covered up’. I mean, it’s innocent, because we had no way of even knowing we were doing this. Then, from another perspective, it’s completely fair, a perfect balancing, if you will, because when the idea’s of who we are pour out via the waterworks...it begins to be felt & known that it is the real you ‘behind it’, washing all that pain out, and the ‘real you’ turns out to be the greatest. True real love, realer than real. This whole thing can keep us going back to the same old places in our minds, try to ‘figure out’ & solve’ to feel better, but all that was ever called for is letting go of the thinking...and just feeling. This is the good news. This is because you were always the love. Always absolutely just, good. Maybe imagine a box called “unconditional”. Then imagine shoving conditions in it for a few years nonetheless. It can be done, but that box doesn’t hold conditions really, it’s truly unconditional. At some point that box just gives out, and it seems like all is lost when all those conditions start falling out. Like we’re losing who we are. But then you start seeing you were the box the whole time, not the conditions in it. Not the ideas it created. And the box is Good. So Good. Then there’s another layer of sneakery our minds do, guilting and shaming ourselves for the ways we coped, the thing we did to get by. But it’s the same thing going on. An old habit. Just more thinking, innocently, unknowing, keeping some feelings protected. Keeping the deeper layer from pouring out. Trying to keep that box together some how. As you mentioned, it is indeed all caused by one thing you can not see. Our own thinking, and our own love. What you can’t see is that you’re fucking awesome, and totally, completely, wholly, innocent. It truly is not your fault. Maybe an apology or two is in order for some healing, maybe some forgiveness too. Maybe not, idk. But ultimately it’s the same damn unseeable unhearable thing that breaks every single one of us boxes. It’s just, love. Without any explanation at all, it’s just love. The “problem”, is there’s just much of it. It’s everywhere all the time...but we again, we can’t see it, and we can’t hear it. Everyone we know could be singing this to us like a damn choir, and we just can’t see it or hear it. Life tends to get louder man. We all let go at some point ya know. Nobody’s gettin outta here alive, so to speak. Life’s saying you gotta relax, you gotta enjoy this ride or it don’t work. You gotta let go. But we’re raised to be tough. So we are. We ‘dig in’ and hang on, in spite of everyone sometimes, in spite of life itself sometimes. It’s cause we don’t know, because we’re innocent. How the hell are we supposed to know we’re unconditional ya know? Nobody knows who they are when they’re born. We’re all born as a total free fall, completely at the whim of whatever seemingly rando person or persons we are. And those people don’t know who they are. So basically we’re born into a mess. That’s the adventure of a lifetime though. That’s the first half of any book, movie, song, or speech. That’s humanity. We’re all fucked in this together lol, but that’s the shocking beauty of it, the miracle, the impossibility. But here we are it seems, we all have each other in this adventure. We’re all in it together. Letting the conditions go, is letting our barriers go - but that is to more deeply realize who we really are, and that turns out to be the feeling we were lookin for all along. It is good. Really good. So good, we start our own little metadventure of seeing what reality is, what’s really true. Hearing what we weren’t before, seeing what we weren’t before. Inspiration, inner guidance, senses in the body we didn’t know existed. Connection with body & mind we’d never imagined. Inspiration, knowing, readily seeing the details play out a bit more, rather than sweating them. Feeling the ease of knowing a bigger & more visceral vision, that we’ve never seen before, never felt before. Inevitably, in our own way, we help with the ‘mess’, in understanding it, in simply being who we really are. Just you being you, minus a few pounds of conditions. When that box breaks, there is tremendous release and an incredible & lasting relief. Thus the mind is at ease, and is more & more connected with the source of all that is, love, creativity, spontaneity, intelligence, peace, magic-ness of the ordinary day. A wonderful and deeply personal change is experienced. There’s less & less reactionary thinking & voluntary thinking when it comes to what to do in life, and more & more desire, inspiration, and just ‘knowing’, via feeling, rather than computing. None of it is our fault, and we’re no messiahs. We’re just innocent, and that’s kind of impossible to comprehend from some places along the journey. That’s the whole point, the whole message of any “messiah”. The love that is, all the love in the world, is yours. You are the source of it. So we have to heal ourselves first in these matters, then if we’re interested, inclined, we can help others. It truly doesn’t matter. But there’s no value to anyone in ‘going messiah’. Any guilt, shame, etc...we each literally made it up in an effort to make sense of what we experience. Unfair fucked up stuff happens, no doubt, but we have to inevitably let go of the armor we created to make it through, when we intuitively know it’s no longer serving us, but weighing us down. There’s just a really, really great series of releases, and just letting go. Clarity & understanding then arises, always. Seems kinda backwards how that works, but that can be understood too, with enough letting go. Trust in yourself, let go, you are so good. Sooo good! And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again lol...a dreamboard can change everything, it can change your life. Out in front of us is a whole new way of seeing, what’s out in front of us. Given this is a dream, it’s the most practical thing one could do. If you’re thinking too far out ahead, and not feeling your best, look thinking & feeling the exact opposite way, and act from that reversal. As an example...today, only write down “see about acting”, and let that be enough. You’ll feel good, even with that one step, because you’ve taken the wheel. It’s now headed in a direction of your wanting, synonymous with what feels good, to you. Then the next day, google whatever you feel the next step is. Maybe acting classes or online lessons, maybe auditioning for parts, seeing where & when they are. Then, let that be enough. Allow ample time to feel good for having down it. Let it be enough. Then, the next day, schedule a class, or a couple auditions. Then, let that be enough. Feel good about it.
  10. @Max1993 Welcome to the forum If infinity = unlimited in any way, infinity can appear as any imaginable creation. But if infinity is consciousness, it already knows itself as that which it is appearing as. So there would be no possibility of any experience, as every apparent creation is conscious it is consciousness / itself.