Husseinisdoingfine

I’m as well incredibly motivated by envy. How is it that the other students are able to pass Calculus I and are able to graduate on time? I pursued Physics to sort of prove that I was smart.

@Harsh Bagdia I would be happy to hear your perspective.

What am I supposed to tell my parents? What am I going to do for work and for living? I’m still living with them (parents). Am I going to work a minimum wage job, move out to some crappy apartment, and work on my life purpose in my spare time? Im really in college because I don’t want to let my parents down and we’re already so invested in this.

How to cope with the fact that my less profitable degree is going to take more than four years as I’ve effectively reset my progress.

Another problem I'm facing is frustration. I'm already four years into college. My first setback was being late to deciding my major, which would become Physics. My second setback is that my credit hours didn't transfer from the previous institution. Now I'm going to change majors again? A third setback? Is my degree going to take me eight years? I'm so done with this stupid colleges. It has frustrated and disappointed. I study so hard for these math tests, only to get at best a C, usually F's back. I'm disappointed when the college I wanted to go to didn't accept me. I wanted to go to another University, but instead I go to this one. Now I'm frustrated. I want to pass my examinations, I study for them but I can't remember the material I HAD JUST REVIEWED. This makes me frustrated. I was hoping to graduate on time, now I'm already on my fourth year and switching majors. I want to be done already and I'm so frustrated. What the actual FU*K! I am so angry, and now I have to practically reset my progress by changing majors. I want to get a job and move out of my parents already. Though realistically that's not happening, as how valuable is a Sociology degree, this of course being the main driver behind my suicidality. My friends are already moving out and getting girlfriends/boyfriends. They're moving on with their lives. But me? Frustration is the number one emotion I have so far, the most dominant emotion. I feel as if my life is ramming a square peg in a round hole.

In Sociology class, we were taught how people could be institutionalized. The example used was the Shawshank Redemption, at the end of the movie, one of the characters that was imprisoned for decades at the time, Brooks, hung himself because he was institutionalized at the prison. I feel the same way. Even though I was struggling for as long as I could remember, doing mathematics problems because a teacher told me to do so is pretty much all that I know. If I would work on a Life Purpose that doesn't involve academia, I'm so used to being graded and tested, I don't know how I could start with such a Life Purpose.

I'm really genuinely scared and perplexed about where does my life go from here, I thought Physics was going to be my Life Purpose, now Sociology? I'm not dropping out of college because I and my family are too invested in me getting a degree. But I need to achieve success outside of academia, so concretely what do I do? Should I take classes of a softer major, but in the meantime I could invest in and work on another Life Purpose? Maybe I can teach myself programming and launch an online business, and escape wage slavery that way.

Just an update, I have not gotten rid of my rope. I have classes on the campus on Tuesday, so if I make the decision to end my life, it will probably end up on the UMBC Student News website. https://umbc.edu/news-home/ https://retriever.umbc.edu/

No, that’s University of Maryland at College Park. I go to University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC).

Information Update, I mentioned in the OP that I used a suicide website. On that website, I've been complaining about this problem since October of 2023. https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-plan-to-kill-myself-this-weekend-but-im-worried-about-the-pain.150955/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-suicidal-due-to-academic-competition.138142/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/i-want-to-ctb-because-i-feel-inferior-to-my-peers-do-i-have-a-low-iq.136921/ https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/im-really-insecure-about-missing-out-on-the-college-experience.136792/

The feeling of jealousy is so overwhelming for me, I can't seem to handle it and I'm being driven to madness. How is it that my friends are able to attend BEAUTIFUL campuses, that are far more prestigious than I will ever be able to enter. I'm very insecure about how ugly my school's (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) campus is. I mean, JUST LOOK at theres, isn’t it perfect? Pretty campuses, with raging social party scenes and rich social lives, Universities that are much more prestigious and difficult to enter. My friend who attends University of Michigan, I bet you she got more than a thousand on her SAT. She's majoring in Biomedical Engineering, I bet you she was able to pass Calculus I with a C or higher. I bet you she's also going to graduate on time, and when she does, immediately enter a high-paying job thanks to her internships. MEANWHILE I'm going to graduate late with a Sociology degree that I don't know what to do with career wise. People around me where genuinely surprised that I was at my age and still taking Calculus I. I'm behind and inferior to people who not only attend fancy colleges, but people who attend my college.

Is watching the radical open mindedness video a good fit for what I'm dealing with right now?

But is Sociology a genuine science?

Are you suggesting that I drop out of college? I'm 22 years old living with my parents, and I need some trajectory with my life. If I quit academia, which I can only assume means drop out, will I be just living with my parents teaching myself to code and working some minimum wage job? "Don't worry Mom, I might not be in school, but I'm working on my Life Purpose! I'll be successful in no time". Without a college degree, how will I get a job? Maybe I can teach myself skillz while getting a B.A. in Sociology.

@Leo Gura My former major was in Physics, not Engineering. BTW I was able to get a B in Physics I, its Calculus and Mathematics I have a problem with. But I feel as if only I had done [blank] I would have passed. I can't seem to do the bare minimum to succeed. I don't pay attention in class, and I use ChatGPT to study, which turned out to be a mistake. If I had visited the professor's Office hours, and the supplemental instruction centers, during the summer session, then I would not be in this situation.