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About Anirban657

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  1. Thanks. I was told by my psychiatrist not to meditate ever since I already had 2 psychosis experiences. But I continued meditation because my psychology went back to serene. The psychiatrist diagnosed me with anxiety disorder and gave me nexito 10 as medication. Now I wish my psychiatrist could have given me some antipsychotic medication. @Toby @onacloudynight @Outer
  2. Congratulations on your progress! Then please tell me how to deal with the next psychosis. The 3rd seems to be coming soon in a week (seriously). Have some mercy and please tell me. At least tell me which books on meditation to read.@AleksM @Martin123
  3. First of all I think this is a pretty important topic to discuss- meditating induced psychosis. psychosis: a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality. Symptoms like: hallucinations, voices in the head, constant terror, insomnia, breaking down of the mind, extreme stress and worry are common in this case. I already had 2 episodes of meditation induced psychosis. After contemplating for a bit: I think meditation for people with anxiety and narcissistic disorders increases anxiety and negative thoughts especially for adolescents. And meditation is something that may help them reduce anxiety only if done is very tiny blocks per day. Maybe the anxiety increases because they don't do the meditation with proper guidance or knowledge. Maybe it's because they are not able to let go to their need to know. Maybe it's because they are just over stress in daily life. Maybe it's because they are not yet ready to sit down and stop thinking. Or maybe it's because they are still thinking like a victim. But meditation induced psychosis is real. It is terrifying. Maybe doing meditation with yoga or playing sports or other relaxing habits may make it possible to meditate normally. Maybe only after being more conscious of the truth about psychosis, one can start meditating again with care. And I believe meditation helps to calm the mind but not in specific cases like psychosis. There must be some other way to calm the mind and increase happiness. So please suggest your views and advice on how can one replace meditation with some similar activities.
  4. I get thesent thoughts that I can't go outside unless my anxiety is cured. I feel sad and depressed. I am reading books on self esteem but nothing is helping me. I also have Avoidant Personality Disorder (AvPD) and that means I don't want to face the emotional discomfort that I once experienced in the past. Please give me some advice. My thoughts are just going on a loop keeping me stuck. I feel like I am not able to do anything because everything is emotionallying difficult.
  5. Try to keep your body and head and eyes still. Make sure to focus out. And then let go and be aware. Even be aware of your not being able to be aware.
  6. I find the sedona method very helpful for releasing negative emotions. You may also do some of your favorite hobbies. I love reading biographies and that always helps me when I get negative thoughts. Also you may try guided meditations for feeling your emotions. This can be very powerful. Lastly, this too shall pass.
  7. I had experience with psychosis. I understand how you might have felt. You are not alone.
  8. I feel like I am a going to hit the lowest point of my entire life. I have Avoidant Personality Disorder and I had 2 incidents of meditation inducted psychosis. I had a traumatic childhood which was enhanced by my Avoidant Personality Disorder. I feel like I am too unconscious. I journal everyday and I meditate 20 minutes a day (9months)and I am taking baby steps now by reading only one self help book at a time completely. But I am suffering. Its like death. At these times I remember great men in history like JFK, Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi who also had suffered. I ain't gonna give up because there is only one way and that is through. I will join an NGO and try to move towards my life purpose. I will not give up. I will not let my ego come I my way. I realise that I am my greatest enemy but still I am unconscious. I have a long way to go.
  9. @Leo Gura How will enlightenment change your life? Will you continue pick up and normal personal development and sage development after becoming enlightened?
  10. @Clint Eastwood I experienced my stress go away more quickly than when I was doing the other yoga asanas. Also it may not be the same for everyone. The patterns may be different for everyone. Maybe not everybody can see the patterns.
  11. @Clint Eastwood I did the Yoga Asana- Bhramari Pranayama
  12. Reality is really freaky and beautiful is what I will say if I am asked by anyone to explain my experiences. (entry no 2) Loneliness is something that I had to deal with throughout my whole life. I had been addicted to porn and video games and negative thinking and I have overcome them to some extent but it still bugs me sometimes. It was a tough journey with quitting my major addictions. I started watching porn in High School and then whenever I felt lonely which is the majority of my life I would watch it and just avoid the pain. As I continued watching it I became more disconnected to the people around me and also disconnected to my family. I felt like I was destined to die and that I was being punished and that normal life wasn't for me. So as I started doing personal development I had tare a decision for my life. I could not thrive in life if I had that addiction. It reached a point where I would get negative thoughts and negative emotional that made me unable to get out of my house. Then I had video games addiction. I used to wake up at 7am and start playing video games till 2am in the night. This was life for me. A continuous escapade from pain that I needed to face. The pain that I had from my childhood traumas needed to be faced or I would ruin my life and lose all the possibilities that destiny has kept before me. I had to get out of the mess. I dropped one year in high school because I was too addicted to video games to study. So I had to decide. I had to decide either I want to play video games or I want to study and become successful. I didn't feel like studying and I hated society. So I went to the extent of telling my family members that I would complete high school through distance learning. Then the day came when I had to get my name removed from my school and register for a distance learning school. I remember I had decided to do that and then the thought came that :"What if..." That was a turning point. The shower was cold and fresh and all the resistance and society's pressure just dissolved for a moment. And I was thinking about my future. What would my life be like if I chose to not go to school. What will I be doing? Play the same video game over and over again? Get more addicted? So I asked my parents: "What's the possibility that I can go back to school?" Then said :"100 per cent son" . The motivation kicked in and I was back to school and doing psychotherapy for quitting video game addiction. A month later I was no longer addicted to video games and 6 months later I no longer play video games 😊. Maybe I am lucky to get a though like "What if?". Maybe I am very introspective and openminded naturally. But reality is more complex than that. I was back to my feeling of Loneliness. I had to face it now. This time I became neurotic and tried the just do it method. That did not work. (then entry #1 happened) (From to be continued) Have you even experienced floating on water whole facing the sky and the water lifts you up and one moment you don't exert any force and the next moment it is going to kill you because you can't swim and you intuitively try to move your body so that you don't drown? I almost died. I don't know if it's a NDE (Near death experience) because I did not see any gods or demons but I almost died. I was frustrated with life and I had a spiritual experience when I lost consciousness and the pain was too much and I saw a pond before me and I just climbed the railing and jumped into the pold. My external awareness was zero and I had no hope left. I jumped into water and I didn't even breath. I was holding my breath because I had given up. While I was under water I was not breathing and I was conscious of that. I was going under water and then the water pushed me up and then again I was under water. I was calm and I felt the feeling of love. I am lucky that I was saved by the people. They got me out of water and I was again back to life. (Next entry no 3)