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About alyra

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  1. I was thinking this morning about growing up and how if you're feeling like you belong with a certain group even after you've matured age-wise past that group, that that should be a sign that you're missing something that is usually found during natural maturation. etc. not super important in and of itself but - then I realized, can't the same thing be true of any thing that we learn from? say we claim that some movie, or book, or role model from the past, is always teaching us new things. for a certain extent sure you'll keep learning from them each time you revisit them and that's a great thing - but in the long run of it, you think and realize. if you always are learning from it, then you've never matured beyond that point! To believe that something is eternally going to be what you learn from - that is not the reality of it. In the scope of a human life maybe sure, we die. but, this is not to speak of the power we have to grow from example, from the experience of others in addition to our own experience. So it's certainly plausible that some people learn from this text/etc that we've put on a pinnacle - at such a rate that they'll learn all the things we've yet to learn from it faster than we've stumbled upon the small percentage we've found so far! We could be that person! This isn't to claim that it's bad to always learn from a text. if we're learning from it, we should keep learning from it. but sometimes our belief that the text will always teach us - will hold us back from seeing the leap we're missing. Because once we've reached a certain point of learning from a text, the only purpose in holding onto it is either to externalize memory, or to advise a good text to others. We should find a new text/etc to inspire us. ps. another reason to hold onto a text/etc we've surpassed, is to hold onto the possibility that something you haven't learned yet will unlock new secrets hidden in that lodestar.
  2. yeah leo's pretty smart for pointing that out to me I admit it was something I'd accounted for at some point in the past contemplation of the topic, but at the time of our discussion it wasn't on my mind.
  3. (note that I haven't yet done the life purpose course) I realized this morning that, life purpose doesn't have to be your life purpose, aka something unique and singularly outstanding. It can be something that gives your life purpose. Aka, something that falls in a category of "things I really wish I was a part of, even if is small in the grand scheme of my life" I do not feel like I have much that single-handedly encaptures all the things I find meaningful in life, and struggle to imagine how that even is worth chasing. Sounds like a quick path to stagnation but when I can identify various things that give outstanding purpose to my sense of action - well not in so many words. ideas in my head are quick, abstract and whole in that way. describing it kills the beauty of the simplicity of understanding but basically right now I want to build a game in the same genre of a series I've loved. and other projects, but this one's been on my mind the most recently. But I have been frustrated on my inability to make any progress towards that goal at all! but then today I realized that this game itself doesn't have to "Be my life's purpose" it can just be the purpose that I focus on. It has the potential to drive my growth in fulfilling my plans, in actually doing the tasks I set out before myself. something i've been struggling with growing. so I'm pretty excited!
  4. (context in spoiler, if needed) I better worded the thoughts of my OP on the youtube: (well I'm editing it to be better worded): and furthermore you could say this apparent sameness - the sameness model - is how two people relate to eachother (most of the time). As Leo details in the video - it is more accurate to find the difference model - and then what I am adding to that, is to notice how the similarities - the sameness - is there, and when we relate to one another, dictates the majority of that interaction. I look for that sameness when social with others - but I always have a skeptical mind of it we are not really the same. we are just interacting on common grounds. (not to claim that I'm super amazing or anything I'm not this is just my thoughts on the subject)
  5. Just a quick thought I wanted to write down while it's on my mind as it is now. I'm currently watching leo's "why people seem crazy" vid. He's starting off talking about dismantling your "sameness" model - that you, well, that most people operate off this model that all people are the same. So I'm wondering -- what is it about this that I'm not really agreeing with? it's in my mind abstractly, intuitively, but not in a way that I even know where to grab at it. but then leo says "[negate that] most people are basically the same" and that's when it hit me. so, the sameness that I see is not the sameness of an apple = an apple, it is the sameness of an apple = an orange = a tomatoe. the'yer all juicy plant produce. therefore, they're all the same! see! this is my version of the sameness model that I operate off of. and naturally maybe I should dismantle this model but what I have to say for now is - if you use any model to model humans, use a 80/20 model. or maybe, a 90/10 or maybe it makes more sense to see it as 98/2. let me explain - assume that 20% of most humans make us 80% the same. and 80% of us make us 20% different. not sure if that will "click" for others as it does for me - perhaps in discussion I can better explain my vantage in this for inquisitive, or others may have their own thoughts to contribute on the apparent sameness of us humans. we're both the same in many ways but differ in many ways - and it isn't right to assume that all people are exactly like us, even if many of them appear to be on our page.
  6. eh, it's all just belief, whichever way you cut it,.
  7. @Epiphany_Inspired ah thanks for the explanation! something to think about for sure
  8. Maybe it is difficult because, the fundamentals/basics are what I want to be working on right now. But I am getting responsibilities I cannot handle dumped on me. And they don't appear to have anything to do with The goals that I want to be working on. It feels like i am in an anime or something lol - thinking I've got it going dandy and then some big baddy I shouldn't be able to even dream of handling corners me and has me coughing for breath and bruised and battered. Lol, is this the hero's journey I thought it would be more meditative, yet here I am facing it in my pragmatic-based journey. I noticed today/yesterday I was more able to approach problems before I couldn't even comprehend right. I didn't really solve them but - that's an important change! It is like staring at a wall brings you a hammer. I guess that I am indeed more closer to intuition than the average monkey in this world. I feel lucky, to have found some crucial strengths back in an early age - even tho I didn't understand what I could use them for until last year lol.
  9. thought of somethin more, sometimes It s helpful for to do.... the thing.... now I forget it... er, was it to work on finding action in the face of unmotivation? or maybe to feel comfortable with uncertainty? I often forget about those things too. more often really. maybe I should write it down. I probably did. I randomly find notes from past realizations, hehe they're helpful. then they get lost in my piles of papers n things everywhere again. I am such a mess. clean my room, clean my world! (bad Heroes reference) tho I guess despite feeling lost, since the first posting here I've been finding things to do. facing the uncertainty, finding action despite it! I'm so proud of myself (she lies to self) (except now smiles without intending) (wow aren't emotions fun ) ok seriously I post on forums too much. hopefully I'll see y'all tomorrow and not before
  10. it's so confusing to look back and wonder how can you changed? you clearly didn't! and yet sometimes I look back and it's so obviously different? I swear my mind has a mind of its own. and it don't has my best interest in mind
  11. I'm scared and dunno what I'm doing. anyone else feel the same? sharing time! I'm always seeing things that are too big to tackle. I try to focus on the things I can change right now, but yet I'm always pushing those untenable monster into my field of view. I'm lost because. this is harder to explain, huh. I just don't get up and take action when I know I wanna. doesn't make sense. I search for some reason to bring it all together. but reasoning just is a fog. should I even post this? what validity to claim it's not just a request for attention? I should just lurk and never post! what am I to think the things I say are anything more than my own personal bigotry? time to get up and go for a walk, I guess. takea bath and face the day. ps. giggles that scared looks like sacred
  12. @Epiphany_Inspired why do my memories so inaccurate then? I struggle to hold onto what's what.
  13. I'd suggest finding time during the day to meditate and/or do yoga. or, let go of the need to practice to such an obsessed point. dangerous of that addiction is what's keeping you at it, in respected to returning to the habit later. I don't meditate right now because I spend too much sedimentary time as it is, so I practice mindfulness predominantly. If I got the resources to and remember it, in any activity I do I just work on being more aware. and I chose a strat each week to use in my choices to focus on growth of some kind - for me most often it's focus, patience, or taking action.