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  2. It's an unfortunate combination of abuse and psychological trauma mixing with a sort of personality that copes with projecting/acting outward. Not everyone who experiences problems growing up though turns out like this so I think psychopathology plays a role. This was a somewhat important human trait back in the day when survival was much more brutal but we have evolved beyond it mostly. Even today some people might excel in certain fields and live productive and ethical lives being a psychopath. It's a combination of a lot of things that come together.
  3. Have a consistent sleep schedule. Try to sleep in a pitch black room. Use your bed for sleeping and sex only. Most importantly, find a way to cultivate your parasympathetic before bed. Don't stimulate yourself. I find "do nothing" meditation can work, but so can meditation where you focus on a single point and hold your focus there, which will naturally cause me to start breathing deep, rhythmic breaths which is when I know it's working. Another piece of advice is if you can't sleep, don't even get upset about it in any way, just roll with it.. use it as an opportunity to practice "do nothing" meditation. Don't ruminate over the fact you can't sleep. You might find yourself surprisingly refreshed despite not sleeping if you get to mastering this approach. Good luck! One more thing yet... practice emotional release...if you need anxiety pills read this article.. If you bottle up emotions chronically and start to do mindfulness meditation they may start to release... let them.. be that emotional superconductor Leo talks about in his video... read articles on emotional release.... learn to ride the waves of emotions... great thing to do if you can't sleep also... sit there and observe any emotional garbage that comes out without judging it.. just let it flow out... like taking a dam and blowing it up with an IED and suddenly all that backed up water is flowing freely... it can take some time for it to drain all out.
  4. @Nahm @Thestarguitarist14 This is difficult for me to comprehend. Maybe it’s my level of consciousness. Is it like the purpose onion concept from David Deida’s “The Way of the Superior Man”? Must I achieve self-actualisation before achieving self-transcendence and above as if I’m peeling an onion to its core?
  5. Read books on serial killers, psychlology, and/or brain chemistry if you want the answers you seek. It's a combination of factors including upbringing, being bullied, a loner, etc. that make a person kill for the first time, and if it gives them pleasure and not disgust, this will drive them to do it over and over, like any other fetish or addiction. There's a very specific psychological profile virtually all serial killers have that the FBI/CIA have nailed down. For me understanding psychology and brain chemistry/function really helped kick start my own personal development. Simply reading non-dual texts didn't do it for me. I had extreme health anxiety for awhile so reading about the amygdala, fear response, desensitization, parasympathetic response, etc. allowed me to cure my own anxiety and eliminate panic attacks, but really helped me understand why everyone else behaves the way they do also. Just another piece of the puzzle for my own growth... I can see why serial killers end up that way in part thanks to this knowledge.
  6. @Arcangelo I think they mean the "monkey-mind" and that part of you that's run by more animalistic, immediate desires, etc.
  7. The point of happiness for a woman. I think this point comes when a woman moves from stage Green to stage Yellow. The reason I haven't placed women at stage orange is because women are more emotional. They tend to look at relationships in more emotional ways and use less logic. They are already at the Psycho-emotional stage. They are one step higher than the man because they have overcome the physical state. They want a relationship sexually but they also crave the relationship emotionally. They are more likely to be happy If these emotional needs are met. The man has to grow from the physical to the Psycho-emotional. But the woman is already grown. She has already taken the leap to the Psycho-emotional. So if she is not emotionally happy then it's a huge problem for her. Because there is no further room for growth. The only way is to get out of the place where she is not emotionally or psychologically happy. So what is her pattern of growth? She has to grow from her stage Green base. And she should stop being emotionally attached to men who don't give her psychological happiness. This means she should be wiser and not always rely on her emotions. Her growth lies in becoming wise enough to find the man who is psychologically compatible with her. This man is the stage yellow man discussed earlier, the man who is grown, conscious matured. Let me say that this man has moved from point A at stage Orange to point B in stage Yellow. This is the point B man.. So her growth lies in becoming wise enough to leave the Point A manipulative man and move towards the stage Yellow and use her brain to find the point B man.. At this point she will find happiness or peace. This is the common point in the stage Yellow. At this point both the man and the woman will find happiness with each other and contribute to each other and the world. They both will move from greed and ignorance towards cooperation and selflessness and mutual happiness at point B, the common point where happiness is experienced. I created this diagram to get a better understanding of my concept.
  8. A few questions keeping in mind I only ordered your book list today so some of the books may answer them... Have you read the "Journey of Souls" books and if you have do you have an opinion on life between lives and reincarnation in general? In my opinion they are the book on reincarnation that most resonated with me. How do animals fit into the picture? Do they have souls? It would seem they can't really achieve enlightenment because they lack egos, only having basic instincts. What about alien civilizations? Multiple dimensions? In theory if another species achieve sentience say Dolphins they would be facing many of these same existential questions? Or alien civilizations? If true enlightenment is nothingness, why pursue it? Why not just do whatever we want? It seems like most humans just try to chase pleasure and avoid pain, so being obsessed with feeling states. Isn't pursuing enlightenment more of the same? By that I mean chasing certain feelings or feeling states. What do you think of the text of "revelations of an insider?" This one should only take you 60 minutes to read. Thanks!
  9. The point of happiness for both men and women. This insight came to me just yesterday. It blew my mind. I was trying to understand the dynamics between men and women. And what I understood is that both men and women have to reach a certain growth to get to the point of peace and or happiness. The point of happiness for a man This is when the man shows growth in his attitude. After observing a lot of men, I have realized that there are 2 kinds of men. The first kind is the un-grown, un-conscious and the un-matured man. The second kind is the grown, the conscious, the matured man. Now the first kind of man is at stage Orange throughout most of his life. He wants a great job, status, lots of money, he wants things that will make him feel powerful and he wants lots of women. He doesn't women as something exclusive. He wants many women and he views women in a very physical way. Like he has only temporary attraction to her. He is ready to dump her the moment he sees another attractive woman. He is hard wired in this way and only focuses on his physical needs. At this stage he is not psychologically bonded to the woman he is attracted to. He has no emotions for her. He just wants to get laid and enjoy sex with her Once he has satisfied his sexual urges with her, he is ready to move on to another woman. He cannot see a woman as a companion or somebody who can fulfill him emotionally because he does not have such emotional needs at this stage. He is focused on purely physical needs. Now if he outgrows his raw masculine nature and grows further into a more conscious man, he will attain some degree of maturity and growth and consciousness. At this stage, he won't be too attracted to money or wealth, or money won't be his only goal but he would want a wife, family, kids, community and a structure which is emotionally stable. Here he is in touch with a more psychological side of him and not just physical. He is able to override his physical needs and understand the emotional and psychological needs of his psyche. At this stage, which is a yellow stage, he has also cultivated more feminine aspects into his consciousness. He has developed side, so he is more emotional and he is capable of loving a woman, not only physically that is sexually, but also psychologically. So he is able to have an attachment to her, but in stage orange he was not able to have such attachment to any woman. Because of this psychological attachment, he is able to be more Wholesome in the relationship where he can spend quality time with the woman and not treat her like a temporary object of satisfaction, but see her as a companion to his self, and he is also giving her the love and attention that she needs, he is fulfilled with her both physically and psychologically. He is able to keep her happy since he is able to invest in her more time and resources and connect with her deeply. He is not only attracted to her but also committed to her. He is more likely to be a loving husband and father at this stage and capable of keeping the family unit together and also contribute to society in a conscious manner. He is no longer about selfish wealth building and only focusing on selfish needs. At this stage he is selfless and he is more passionate about doing something for society, family and humanity. At this point he is growing in a more conscious way and he has reached a point of peace and happiness. He is more healthy, more happy, he is deeper in his connection to his self, he is happier with women, he is genuinely happy and it's not fake happiness coming out of winning a game. I had come across a very stage orange guy a few years ago where I was working. And he was always boasting about money, and his little toys, he would cheat people and make lots of money, his personality was like Trump, and he would boast about getting women despite having a beautiful wife and kids, I saw him degrading everyday, his health got worse, the point is he was just not happy and becoming miserable everyday. So I think that the point of happiness for a man lies in becoming a matured man, A grown man A conscious man So when he attains this growth, he reaches stage yellow and he is more psychologically connected to aspects of life..
  10. Today
  11. It took me 6 years to get the 4 year degree. When i first started college i was very motivated, all i would do was study and i did really well. But i didn't form friendships or form connections, and i wasn't even really enjoying the course work. I was just incredibly motivated to not be a loser and get into a pharmacy program. I was using school and academic success as a way to deal with feelings of inferiority and envy, with the hope that if i achieved success i would be able to turn myself into a good and happy person, and finally be able to be normal and happy like the people i envied. But before my 2nd semester of 2nd year i freaked out because i thought my hair was falling out, and i basically just failed a year of classes because i was so pre-occupied with the thought of me being a bald loser, and my plan to work myself into being not a being a loser basically crashed. I actually overcame this depression and made some big improvements at the time in my feelings of happiness and satisfaction. I was still kinda messed up, i was still akward and odd, only now i had more energy and was less inward and withdrawn and more shamless and just open doing stuff. Idk part of me feels like i'm just defective. I think the next step in my development is to find a solid structure and routine, but i also have a ton of emotional stuff to deal with. Like i have an incredibly fragile psyche. I feel like a little kid in a man's body, and idk if this will get better with getting a routine or something. At this point i've kinda given up on life, i'm basically a recluse, and hopefully things change in the future but right now it's kinda hopeless and i'm just out of it mentally and phyisically.
  12. I remember seeing only a single 15 second ad of Dean on YouTube a year ago and that's all I needed to know what crowd he was apart of. These people are such obvious memes at this point. I dont get how people keep falling for it!
  13. Sam Harris is fantastic. He's just gotta do more psychedelics and stop giving so much craps about the culture war, and Islam, and he could serve as the perfect bridge between ultra rationalist Orange and relativistic/spiritual Green. It would also help if he distanced himself some more from the intellectual dark web and debating so he can focus more on his own individual pursuits. Maybe Covid will facilitate this a bit. Like many other figures in this space he is too invested in defending his identity and worrying too much about what people think.
  14. @Nahm What can i do when i don't have the discipline, will power, drive, or want to do the basics? When i'm this deep in the hell of my own mind, or is the answer always going to be mastery of the basics or suffer and whither until I do? I really don't feel grateful for anything, it's all just negative and pessimism. Also, question about autsim and Asperger's. Growing up i had a lot of these signs and symptoms, but was never really diagnosed. Does that change the calculus on any of this stuff, or is that just another negative perspective i'm focusing on and believing?
  15. This Thomas Merton quote gives hints at it. With success like the people you mention have achieved means a lot of work where they can be left with very little time to contemplate what they are really here for. “If I had a message to my contemporaries it is surely this: Be anything you like, be madmen, drunks, and bastards of every shape and form, but at all costs avoid one thing: success . . . If you are too obsessed with success, you will forget to live. If you have learned only how to be a success, your life has probably been wasted.”. Thomas Merton, Love and Living That is why Jesus said "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". It’s not so much about the money as the attachment to the success and also the time it takes. There are many different takes on “purpose”. There is also the ego’s purpose and God’s purpose which won’t be the same.
  16. Something I picked up from Ocke de Boer that seems to be true. It can be dangerous in this world to be an awakened, conscious person. An awakened conscious person needs to learn when it's time to go run and hide. If you don't want any comments from others here, I can hide this post.
  17. If you know exactly what is creating all this suffering for you, that's great because you can work on it. Easier said than done but knowing what you know is a good starting point. Please don't hesitate to work with a professional. The Wim Hof breathing method can create powerful changes to your mood. I use this when I am in a bad place to see that there's something outside of it.
  18. @dflores321 Bingo......let love and what ever else comes forth as you focus on this mystery and let all else melt away or miraculously reorganize itself as you in life and action.
  19. A good percentage of us here, if not right now, will be at some point in the future, just somebody's crazy uncle. Life speeds up the older you get and goes by in a hurry.
  20. 1. Do you think you will ever live as a "fully awakened self"? How far do you think you can advance spiritually in the future? 2. Do you think we will ever have a fully conscious/developed society? If not, how advanced do you think society could possibly be in the future? 3. Could you see your channel potentially helping lead to a massively awakened society and pushing real spirituality into the mainstream? 4. Do you think a conscious society could possibly exist with diverse cultures and religions also existing simultaneously? 5. Have you tried nofap/semen retention? If not, what are your thoughts on it? 6. What was the lowest point in your life? The highest? 7. Do your family and friends live a similar life to you? 8. Who is the most awakened individual you have ever encountered in your life? 9. What do you do every day? 10. How has your health been? Any improvements since your last update on it? 11. Do you believe in synchronicity/numerology and other obscure fields discussed by some spiritual communities? 12. What is your specific life purpose and plan for the rest of your life?
  21. Because they have the wrong purposes. So for example, if you have a purpose of making 1 million dollars. After 30+ years, you finally achieve it. Do you think you will be happy with 1 million? Life is more than money. So people need to find another purpose. Of course, in the case of some people or celebrities, they have some health issues or depression they have to deal with as well. In such cases, they have to seek help from professionals.
  22. Below is the best breathing video I have come across and have used it dozens of times. It has five rounds of rapid deep breathing. At the end of each round there is a 1st gong, after which you fully breath all your air out and hold it. This is called a bahya kumbhaka, or breath retention on the out breath, and is where you reach your deepest state of meditation. You have more carbon dioxide than oxygen creating a temporary state of hypoxia. At the second gong you breath in and hold the breath for 15 seconds until the third gong, which continues to the next round. The rounds get progressively more intense. At the final round the breath retention is the longest. Just follow along with the breathing in the video. The whole production is pure genius, including the breathing and spacey music during the breath retention. I use this with cannabis which puts me into some of the deepest states I have ever gone with breathwork. However, it is designed to be used without any drug assist.
  23. The trick is in thinking that there's a "self" that imposes it's "will"
  24. "Dirt is an illusion, it's all love."
  25. @neutralempty I am obsessed with cat skulls, haha.
  26. I can’t. It’s where my awakening journey has taken me, that death is not real which is why we are told by all enlightened people that learning to die before you die is the key to enlightenment. It’s of no benefit to anyone to end their life as they are only leaving their body. The ego remains until it dies which is the true “death”.
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