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  2. I've tried time and time again to explain the Internet to my dog, but she just doesn't get it - dumb as a rock when it comes to our clever and superior abstract intellectual humin concepts. We humans are smart enough to copy concepts from nature and apply them to our own needs. On the other hand, nature has no chance at copying our super-smart highly-evolved civilization. Lol... And we are so damn superior to those dumb bacteria - we've even managed to copy their gene editing system. We is so smart... Oh, wait...
  3. I have days where I can't help and I will binge on practically everything - food, entertainment, and sleep. The worst is that I can't control it (or at least I think I can't), I just can't stop. And I don't feel bad afterwards. I think I enjoy it. Maybe I feel empty too. However, on the days that I follow my path, I feel just as great, if not better. The bottom line is some days I can implement a healthy, productive, spiritual lifestyle, and on other days all I do is lay in bed feeling half numb and half tired, but secretly enjoying it. Would anybody provide any thoughts on binging behaviours and how to reconcile it with a spiritual path? I would appreciate some input. Thank you
  4. Day106 Nofap Day 40 A lot happened during the 11 days. Put it simply, I really desired to have a relationship with D, and found the unresolved issues of myself during the process of pursuing relationship. I had some simple problems with simple solutions, but never went to solve them because of emotional difficulty, limiting belief, and comfort zone. I mentioned having fun was an issue, further more, I just did not like social. I didn't like to go out, I didn't like talking to people with different values, I just avoided things that felt different. Not only on socializing aspects, I repelled ideas that felt "not me" on financial, personal management, and any other areas. But my choice of stay in my comfort zone backfired when I pursue a romantic interest. I got honest responses. I was in depressive mood for 2 days because I resisted to face the issues, then finally decided that facing them will be the only way out. Taking responsibility of my own future, do not be a victim, Leo taught these long ago. I just heard him, but never really felt the urge to realize. Now I start to understand. One thing I am proud of myself was, during the 2 days of depression, I didn't use PMO as means to ease myself. I took the emotional pain and went to work as usual, I went look for solutions for the emotional difficulty. I did not run away. If I ever decided to, I might not be able to make the decision to face my unresolved issues. So I contacted my friend and asked him for help, to take me out whenever possible. I am preparing to change my entire mentality in the process. It will take some time, but I know now it's worth it.
  5. Today
  6. @CruellerSloth I hear that Austria is very pretty country. i hope to visit there someday. May I suggest that if you are interested in coming to the US that you might come as a visitor and look around to find more information about whether you should live in the US. Also, you can do a tremendous amount of research on the internet to find ways of emigrating successfully, wherever you might land. If you want to accomplish something, you have to start by breaking it down into pieces and take smaller pieces at a time, so that you are not overwhelmed by the larger goal. Lots of luck to you and welcome to the Forum - I am relatively new here too!!
  7. @quantum @ajasatya Since I mentioned crystals and that they have healing properties I thought you might want to check this out. When I was in California last week I went to see a Reiki practitioner for additional healing to deal with my dad's passing. She used this really cool mat that you can sleep on that is made of amethyst. It's called a biomat. I definitely noticed some changes right away. lol I'm thinking about purchasing one for myself to use on my bed and to use on my massage table to do reiki and hypnosis treatments. It's a actually a medical device with research and statistics to back up the qualities of amethyst. This is so fricken cool!!! lol http://www.biomat.com/ The BioMat: Relieves minor muscle pain in areas where applied Increases blood circulation in areas where applied Reduces stress and fatigue Soothes and relaxes Eases minor joint pain, and stiffness Supports the immune system Improved sleep (if associated with pain relief) Reduced inflammation (where applied) Increased tissue oxygen (due to increased circulation where applied) Temporary relief of Minor muscular back pain Temporary relief of sprains and strains Temporary relief of minor muscle and joint pain and stiffness Temporary relief of joint pain associated with arthritis Temporary relief of muscle spasms Temporary increase of local circulation where applied Relaxation of muscles Promotes relaxation by application of heat Promotes restful sleep for those with occasional sleeplessness
  8. @Kazman try something from Dale Carnegie, Steven Covey or Tony Robbins. They are all excellent authors IMHO. What books have you read that you like?
  9. @rush Perhaps your passion is investigation and uncovering the hidden truths in this world. So, maybe you become a journalist, and you will need a medium, such as a tv, magazine, newspaper to develop your experiences. This is an example of pursuing your passion without being an entrepreneur. I think you need to figure out what your passion is, pursue it, and take a wait and see approach as to whether you need a business mindset. Don't be so quick to rush to this conclusion. Step back and observe a little. Hope that helps
  10. Hey Guys! Thanks for having me! This is my very first post, I hope you guys can make yourself a picture of whats going on... My personal background: I am in my early twenties, live in a small town in the austrian alps, study music and work as a instrumental teacher. Around a year ago I discovered Leo's channel and started working on myself. In the years before I discovered self improvement I was a sad and frustrated guy but that changed rapidly. After implementing some of the things I learned from Leo and the books I read I felt like when I was a kid, the whole world was a playground for me. I slacked of during the summer (I was partying and drinking again) but I got back to my journey a few months ago. So far so good... Now comes the part where I really need some advice: For a few years now I have this idea of going to the US someday. I have never been there, no idea what to do there or how to finance my life, but that thought would just never let me go. Until now I was always trying to find reasons why I should just stay here, or at least in europe, but two weeks ago I even started dreaming about New York and Los Angeles on a regular basis. So I made the decision that I want to move to the US in the near future. Uni will be finished in july, in september I record an album, but then nothing really keeps me here. But there are some problems. I have NO IDEA what I want to do and I don't know any people who live in America. The only thing I know is that I want to make that move, no matter what, or I will regret it for the rest of my life. I don't have any savings and I am not a specialized worker or something like that. So I don't even know if it's possible to get a visa for me (I doubt it). One thought was to stay here for some more time, start a business and save some money so I can just visit the US for up to 3 months (via the visa waver program), but I don't really have an idea about business either... Do you guys have some advice how I could proceed? I feel lost, I don't even know WHY the US. This is pure intuition, I just know that it would be the right move for me... Thank you guys! Love and blessings from Austria!
  11. Falling into eternity, when the body dies, that's what is going to happen, there will be nothing to do but fall back into eternity, the divine darkness, We need to bring up this topic of death and face it with courage, to surrender with love and integration, rather than go kicking and screaming like most will do, because the ego is designed to persist it will be a tremendously painful proccess if one dies slowly, like most will, a lot of people even on this forum will get cancer, thats how a lot of humans die, and I know to a self that seems depressing but if we discover the Art of dying we can fall into a deep meditation at the moment of death and leave with revevrence and aww of yourself, don't forget its not like you are a separated entity inside the human skin, you are the divine darkness, to realise that before death of the body is important, we are conditioned to avoid conversations like death because of scared egos teaching us to be that way to, but we can break the chains of conditioning and dissolve into the oneness of eternity. We need to realise that this whole thing is about reality itself as a whole, mystery's within mysterys universes within universes forever! This is forever there will never be a end to infinity its outside of time. This magic you are has been around for eternity and will continue its wonderful story, long after our individual story is gone, this is a mere spec of boundless beauty, Life is a fleeting phenomenon, the more we realise that, the more and more present existence will become for you, this will only happen once and in a flash it will be gone, enjoy it, appreciate it, love it as yourself, More will wake up, with this new found courage, why did Buddha wake up, because he looked at death and didn't run away.
  12. @pluto I have an old friend that actually had the pleasure of meeting "OKRAW", the guy that is shooting the youtube video you provided above. He is very knowledgeable about gardening.
  13. @pluto I love Annette Larkins. She has some great tutorial DVDS on health and diet. They are apart of my personal library.
  14. Hey, Matt! I get a bit back pain/ache as well meditating. Just find a position that makes your spine the most erect, maybe use a pillow to sit on to elevate your seat a bit. That helps get the posture right. When it comes to your A,B and C, I wouldn't suggest flexing the abs since your supposed to completely relax. Gets me back to my first point. Just make sure you sit comfortably enough to not get the back pain, lean against a pillow or the wall if you have to, I do that mostly. I don't know if you might have some issues around your abdomen/spine/lower back that causes this though, but this is what works for me. When I sit with my back erect with no leaning against something. Just slightly roll your shoulders back and lift up your chest, helps with the posture. When I sit against a pillow or something else, I pretty much do the same thing, but it obviously relieves more tension from my back. Maybe try different postures.
  15. All of the above would work, if you just accept each situation and relax into them, pain and all or D) Sit more comfortably, put a couple coushions to support you, maybe even try meditating in a chair or on the couch, even your bed would work, you don't have to be in a certain postition to meditate, although each individual is unique, so do whatever you want.
  16. I really like Leos video on awareness, and the way one conveyed the importance of it, in a a very articulate way with the help of ouspensky. It takes a intelligence to be able to really listen to something, but coming back to the awareness, back to the basics is very important, being aware isn't something we do its what we are. I am sure people would definitely benefit from having the reminder once more, that the only way you are not asleep anymore is by being aware of what is, you can read books about being aware all you want and there are some very valuable Pointing's to enlightenment, but with out awareness of what is, the self biased tendecys of the sentient experience, will continue, one can't come out of that which one is not aware of. People want more knowledge to stack on the trophy shelf, rather than detach from identification by being aware, that all there is, is awareness itself! Leo a question you had, in your 68 questions video about reality, one of the questions, was asking "what unifies the five senses?" Awareness does. All duality is couched in that which is aware, Awareness is what reality is, its without form, a non physical reality. The five senses work in Union with that which is. The ego has always got more complex questions to ask, but is that not just avoiding experiencing it for oneself. Everyone needs to be reminded of there ignorance, everyone, all of us, I bet that there is still ignorance in myself, and if everyone was truthful they would know that they are to, because the ego is very self deceptive even if there is a abiding state of awareness for them, there's still more to be had, still deeper to go, this is something that one can do, for as long as they can Intill death, just continue to learn, and become conscious of that which is, Truth with a capatible T, as leo puts it.
  17. @Emptyness This idea that you can't be truly happy without enlightenment is bullshit. This is a belief you have picked up from your own subjective experience and what people on the spiritual path have told you. I am sure there are tons of people who have lived life to its fullest, pursued passions, or have simply been happy, and died absolutely fulfilled and content, without ever even having heard of enlightenment. Infact, just visit some farmer in Asia or tribesman in rural Africa, give him all your philosophies on happiness and how life is suffering and ego is illusion and yada yada and he'll ask you what the hell youre talking about. Lets be clear, both life purpose and enlightenment are inherently egoic and self centered pursuits, none is more true or noble than the other. Both arise because you're seeking something for yourself. So just pursue both side by side. Eventually you'll eliminate suffering and feel happy and it will just be the pure desire for Truth driving you.
  18. Yesterday
  19. I can totally relate to this.
  20. I've been meditating for a couple years now, and I've experienced some amazing benefits from it. One thing I have been having a little trouble with is back pain. I've heard that belly breathing is the type of breathing best suited for calming the mind. Though, when I do this it deactivates my abdominal muscles, therefore making my lower back (and upper sometimes) start to ache. I was instructed by a Pilates teacher that instead of using belly breathing and relaxing the abs, it would be better for my back to flex my abs and breath from just below the scapula in the back. It feels like the big, flat muscles in your upper back are extending out and in. I've tried this a few times. I notice that, though my back doesn't ache, I'm putting a lot of effort into my abs. Resulting in my mind becoming more tense. Therefore kind of defeating the purpose of meditation for me. Basically, is it better to: A) flex one's abs and then try to overcome the tension in the mind. B) Belly breath, but still have some pain in the back. C) Belly breath, but somehow still relieve the back at the same time?
  21. I've been meditating for a couple years now, and I've experienced some amazing benefits from it. One thing I have been having a little trouble with is back pain. I've heard that belly breathing is the type of breathing best suited for calming the mind. Though, when I do this it deactivates my abdominal muscles, therefore making my lower back (and upper sometimes) start to ache. I was instructed by a Pilates teacher that instead of using belly breathing and relaxing the abs, it would be better for my back to flex my abs and breath from just below the scapula in the back. It feels like the big, flat muscles in your upper back are extending out and in. I've tried this a few times. I notice that, though my back doesn't ache, I'm putting a lot of effort into my abs. Resulting in my mind becoming more tense. Therefore kind of defeating the purpose of meditation for me. Basically, is it better to: A) flex one's abs and then try to overcome the tension in the mind. B) Belly breath, but still have some pain in the back. C) Belly breath, but somehow still relieve the back at the same time? Let me know if you've had similar experiences, and if you've managed to overcome it and how. Cheer!
  22. @Deep I'm using the image of this particular deity to describe another phenomenon because it's the one that hits closest to home. I know exactly what you mean. <3
  23. I feel like just writing stuff out, whatever comes to mind... I had a cool conversation with an old friend (literally and not literally speaking). It was really cool because I feel like he could kind of read my mind. It's one of those things that right now it doesn't make sense, but now it doesn't. I mean, it made sense at that time, but now it doesn't. But I feel like we are connected so we can sense things of the other person. I feel like I write too much. I am not concisive, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I am just trying to improve as time goes by. It's ok... after all, I maintaining consistnecy. This word is key: consistency. I am writing this journal consistenly even though sometimes I exaggerate a bit, but that's ok. The important thing is..... to not collapse. For example, I was about to take a nap earlier today. And I simply collapsed my body onto the bed, and I could see how unhealthy that was. You know, just dropping my body there. So I told myself, "Ok! Time for a 1 minute sitting. I can do this." So this gave a sense of clarity, and I did things to make myself more comfortable instead of going for the easy comfort. But it's all a process, and I realize that more mistakes are ahead of me. But well... I can't really escape them. But I don't know how I am going to have self-control. Because sometimes I feel uncontrollable. Like a wild horse. I am becoming a savage. And I know this is where I ultimately want to get at. Become totally natural, but my intellect doesn't want to surrender. That is, I don't want to surrender. But that's ok. It's part of the practice. I feel like I can be very genuine here. I don't have to put up a lot of masks, and although I realize that I am not perfect at expressing myself rawly, I am at least trying. I heard a recording of myself of 6 years ago. I used to think I was so fucked up but actually I was pretty cool. It is crazy how states of mind change so quickly. I am a different person from the person I was in the morning. That's pretty cool. "Not always so". Even if I am in a terrible state, it is impressive how quickly I can change. Anyway, I was talking with this friend over SKype, and at some point I was feeling very tired and he wouldn't stop talking. First, we were talking about consciousness. Then, we started to talk about relationships and sexuality. It was a cool conversation, and I could totally relate to him. But I got tired... Simply tired... So I did something "bad". I disconnected my internet. Yes, I know this is very immature of my part, but that was the only way I found available at the time to protect my sacred energy. I don't know... I set a timer for 25 minutes, and I plan to write for this amount of time. I feel this is very unnatural, and I want to do things like that (TIMED) less and less because I grow my intuition I don't have to give a fuck of those stupid rules. I don't want to be disciplined. I hate discipline. Seriously, order can fuck itself. I had a dream that I was in the army. Worst. Experience. Ever. There is a microwave running next to me, and I can sense its radiation. This thing is really stupid and unhealthy. I like what Dragullar wrote about being in open spaces for a healthy mind and body. I feel like when I stay for a long period of time in a closed space, I GET CRAZY! WILD! What is that word? Claustrophobic? Yes... ANyway, sometimes I feel like I am pushing myself too hard in a unnecessary way. And whenever I do that, I will not do the thing consitently. For example, I have been eating A LOT of chia seeds to give me strength. But I have eaten it so much that I almost feel like not eating at all. But I am still eating but in smaller amounts. Because i know how heatlhy it is for me. Healthy for me... does that make sense? I feel like I need to stay outdoors for ever. I mean... 80% outdoors and 20% indoors. Otherwise, I feel shitty. When my mind is not calm, I feel very bad around others. I can't see them for who they are, but how my crazy mind is perceiving them. I can't see people as they are, but like how my idiotic perceptions do. So I try to have balance within myself before trying to interact with people. You know, focus on myself first and foremost... I am getting really tired of writing. And I know this is silly, but I don't know if I continue to write or not. I don't want to exhaust myself, but at the same time I know that all I am feeling is a bullshit resistance. What if I write the truth of the universe in the next lines and some evil force is preventing me from expressing this to the world? Well, there is no truth, write? Write what? Right. Right or Wront? Splur words. I bought spirulina yesterday. I liked it. To give me loads of energy. Btw, I am not a fat person. I was getting a lot of (yes I know the right way is gaining weight) halfway of last year due to the medication I was taking. But now I am good. I am in my natural body shape. Almost... I was so skinny a year ago. Like REALLY skinny. Kind of like an ascetic. I was trying to live an ascetic life. It didn't work very well. But hey, at least I know the experience. I like how sleep is always available for us. No matter how difficult the day was, we can have at least a few hours of rest. Yes, sometimes the sleep is shitty, but I like the possibility of having a restful sleep and having cool dreams. I have been having a lot of crazy dreams lately, which is ok. When I was into lucid dreaming, I was getting the most VIVID dreams ever. And they were SOOOO long. It was pretty cool. One time I had a 4-minute-ish lucid dream, and I had TOTAL control of it. I mean, almost. I could interact with people, jump in-between buildings, fuck girls. Pretty fun stuff. When I woke up, it felt very distant, like a different reality. What if we go to a different reality when we're dreaming? I slept for 8 hours today, but it felt like 10 or 11. It was gnarly. Again, it was hard as fuck to wake up, but I know that SLEEP IS GOOD, BUT WAKING UP IS 10x BETTER. However, I don't see this truth when I am actually being lazy in bed. I get so excited to do my first meditation of the day. Because it kind of sets the tone for the rest of the day. What if I am setting too low expectations? Well, 4 hours of mditation is pretty ambituous in my opinion. I like how we're connected. I write something in my journal, and I read it the same thing is someone else's journal. Pretty cool..! I feel these synchronicities happening more and more often. I am trying to focus on my path without worrying about the results themselves, but on the actions that I took. Yes, I am making lots of mistakes, but as quantum said, it's part of the learning process. Man... I like to feel good in my body, but sometimes that takes effort to get. That is, I have to exercise, move my butt into nature. If I stay in my house a lot, I will rotten. So MOVE MY BUTT is a great affirmation to start off the day. Well, I am almost done here, and it was easier than I expected. I will do a 1-minute sitting to see what to do next, and try to relax as much as possible. AWW! I wish I could take a hot bath, but I have to save water. THanks! 9:00 PM 21-Jan-17 9:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-179:00 PM 21-Jan-17 quicklyd
  24. @Visionary OOO thats what I call alchemyzed emotions aka kundalini. Good shit, keep on going.
  25. If you hate it, consider quitting it. Or you may end up several years later whining that you wasted years of your life on something you hate. Do figure out what would you enjoy to do in life. What skills do you wanna acquire? What is important and meaningful to you? @dboyle There must be an area in which you could flourish, just ask yourself. How about changing majors to something more stimulating, interesting to you.. what would that be?
  26. @Leo Gura And the information is nuanced. One does have to read between the lines somewhat.
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