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Just my humble opinion: Every thought/concept emerging in ones mindstream is not created or chosen by "oneself/ego/person/body-mind". But by the Totality of Absolute Reality, infinitely intelligent. That Absolute Reality manifests a Universe that clearly develops, and grows to more complex forms: atom, molecule, bacteria, plant, animal, human, ... , Alien Mouse, Alien anything, (sorry, just kidding), up to Intelligences govering whole Universes/Void Universes. That is called a Buddha-Field in Buddhism by the way, with a really Buddha/God governing its Buddhafield (manifestation of a Universe). There is an infinitude of Buddha-Fields/Manifestations/Gods or Buddhas governign/running Buddhafields. So a long career path if you like.... If you are interested in that, check out the Supreme Arrray Sutra: https://psychedelicsangha.org/paisley-gate/2019/5/8/the-supreme-array-scripture-a-psychedelic-stra-for-buddhist-psychonauts-pp3zz Or: An Infinity of Gods/Buddhafields, described in 3rd/4th century CE. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buddhāvataṃsaka_Sūtra Just maybe, if one conforms to what the Universe is doing anyway...... which is getting itself to grow, develop, and wake-up (self-realize its True Being in as many beings as possible, once the capacity is in place), and helps it waking up once one has woken up onself (which is the base of the Boddhisattva-vow: Once you wake up, not to keep that Awakening and its resulting bliss for yourself, and live happily ever after, which by the way is the easiest thing to do then, without the minor annoyance/effort of "helping" "others") telling "them" about which paths up the mountain actually work, which just circle around the mountain without ever getting closer to the top, which paths stop at 95% of the mountain, and which just rack up loads of bad Karma or drop off a cliff to start at place zero or pretty low again. Or at least ones own experiences of the path up the mountain. and promises to do something like (Boddhisattva-Vow) that once one has woken up (better not starting before, because that tends - not necessarily, but tends - to be an ego-show. And not go off to the cave happily ever after.... and overall, at least be compassionate and nice to "other" beings while on the path, as much as possible. .... Ones own Intuition and Intelligence (which is governed by the Infinite Intelligence of Reality/Totality anyway (or do you choose which thoughts/concepts emerge in your mindstream? "I" don't...) is helped by the Totality in any way the Infinite Intelligence of Reality can? Since the Totality wants to wake up, or has a tendency to do so? That can take an intuition (or feeling drawn to) of choosing working paths/methods instead of not-working ones. That can result in nice and balanced success on the relative level of live (Friends, partner, job/business/financials) making the right decissions in life having luck in ones decissions a lot of energy and motivation in ones endevours (intellectual, business, financial, any aspect of an integrated life) As Nisargadatta once said "Winnnig the grace of ones True Nature" that is at least my experience. Coincidence or not, I am happy about how things are in my life. And for the postponing ones Enlightenment/Waking Up until saving them all: That is in large parts Buddhist folklore and myth. You can not really help others beings without being awake yourself, at least not to wake up fully. Its like in an airplane: If masks drop, put on your mask first before helping others put on their mask. Because if you don't, you can go unconsciousness (and the "other" too), before you can help anyone. Like every Religion for the masses, in which Buddhism also takes part, there are some nice background-story that are maybe a little bit to rosy and naive. This one probably belongs to it. Help yourself and wake up (put the mask on), then help others put the mask on. But be nice and benevolent to "others" while putting on the mask, don't kick them out of their seats on your way to the mask, so to say. Then, who in his right mind wouldn't choose to make such an agreement/"deal" (Boddhisattva Agreement) with Reality? And of course honestly and authentically, Infinite Intelligence already knows all of your mindstream, cause it IS that already. And Reality listens very openly to ones mindstreams, its intentions and prayers, and can respond miraculously to it (for example in the emotions is manifests in the mindstream: Loving or annoyed for example). Because the opening of ones mindstream and consciousness, its emptiness and its emergent thoughts, is already are direct link to the Universal Mind of the Universe and Infinite Consciousness already, by definition. There are not two "consciousnesses" anywhere..... It is literally the same. Of course its all a dream, an Infinite Universal Mind imagining a dream. But at least yours truly prefers a nice dream to a nightmare. So who in his right mind would say its all a dream, its all imagined, and ignore the laws of Karma (of which the Boddhisattva-vow forms a large part) and life a miserable life ignoring cause and effect ever after? Well, you guessed, only a confused ignorant separate self under the spell of illusion.... “My realization is higher than the sky. But my observance of karma is finer than grains of flour.", Padmasambhava That means nothing else than although one keeps the Absolute Perspective of its all an arising in Infinite Consciousness/Absolute Reality, one is not so stupid to think that this Lila/Dream has a very consequent structure, is very coherent (different than dreams at night), and if one shoots oneself in the knee (Karma-wise, or literally), one is going to be hurting/limping for the rest of ones life.... And knowing about the tendence of the Universe to grow towards more complexity and awakening, and ignoring that, or not taking some kind of Boddhisattva-vow (the wise/intelligent form of it), is similiar to shooting oneself in the knee, at least in a certain perspective. And a "round-out" from the Absolute Side of the Street, to keep it balanced ), courtesy of Francis Lucille - "Ignorance is only a bad idea from the perspective of ignorance. From the perspective of [Absolute] Consciousness: Who cares?!". So either way, its show on! Bon voyage! Water by the River

Yes. Nice that you write this post. Very true. >"Solipsism, yes. But from the point of view of God (which is not a point of view, obviously, but using that word as a means to understand ourselves). Not from the point of view of the ego [separate self]." Not from the point of view of the ego/separate self! And Solipsism from "the view" of the One without a second, or Absolute Reality/Infinite Consciousness/Suchness/Reality itself doesn't even really need to be mentioned. Because there literally is nothing else, like in "never could be". So it doesn't really make sense talking about it. To whom? "Others"? The consciousness of the mind-stream of other beings can be directly intuited/felt/realized to be ones own empty consciousness at certain levels of Awakening. But Impersonal, Totally Empty Concsiousness. It "wouldn't work" any different way, it has to be empty. Technically speaking, "IT" would not be compatible to fit into the perspective/mind-stream/consciousness of another being/perspective if it weren't totally empty. Just Awareness, AWARE, and nothing else. Empty. Impersonal. How could a consciousness with "my" personal properties "fit" into the mindstream of another being. It couldn't. Therefor, Nothingness, totally Empty Impersonal Consciousness, with another mindstream (feelings/thoughts/subtle feelings of being/separateness/....), structurally exactly the same as ones own mindstream, with the same essence - Nothingness. Which is also the same essence of very appearance of the visual field also. All of that can be directly realized. With certain levels of Awakening, one can directly intuit that the separate-self illusion arisings (I-thoughts, I-feelings) in the mindstream of other beings has exactly the same structure than ones own mindstream (and its I-thoughts, I-feelings). One doesn't read the content of thoughts (some do), but directly intuits their structure/process, in the exactly same impersonal consciousness than the essence of ones own mindstream. And that essence of Nothingness/Impersonal Consciousness is also the same essence of EVERY appearance of the world in the visual field. Also, a direct experience in Awakenings, and something that gets constant in Enlightenment (to paraphrase for example the Mahamudra-system): "Crossing Over to Enlightenment happens when every thought/concept/feeling ("internal" arising) and every appearance (world/visual field form) is seen as empty-thought-concept and empty-appearance arisings in Infinite Awareness-Space". And that is what one is: IMPERSONAL Empty Consciousness. Or better "Nothingness", to make sure that nothing is projected onto it, or that its not fully empty. It is literally Nothing, but with the capacity for sentience. And even that isn't always active, see Deep-Sleep. Definitely, it doesn't include separate-self arisings/confusion/illusion arisings "on top". That is "the screen", and its capacity for sentience/awareness/consciousness. To make it specific: Talking about Solipsism could only make sense from totally empty impersonal Consciousness or Nothingness. And then it is not necessary! (Because it invites more mis-understandings than the clarity it delivers). Talking about Solipsism from any ego/separate self perspective doesn't make sense. And if you are at that empty level of infinite (!) impersonal Consciousness/Nothingness, one without a second, it is redundant and totally unnecessary to talk even about Solipsism. >As long as there is an identification process, there is delusion Yes, exactly. And any form of Solipsism applied to the level of the delusion/relative/ego/separate-self level only can increase narcissm or (separate-)self-grandiosity, which is the No.1 building block of the separate self, the most seductive one, the most dangerous delusion mechanism of Maya. One of the very last things to go. (And then one can guess what makes Solipsism so attractive for egos/separate selfs? Well, one can go ahead confusing the little separate self/ego with the full glory of God/Kosmos/Reality, and feel veeeery important, and boast around with absolute claims.) That (the danger described above, and other dangers) is why by the way in Tibetan Buddhism (and practically all spiritual traditions) Realized Ones normally NEVER speak about their attainments, and at least tend to downplay them, state them smaller, because that tends to boost ones self-importance. And that is not good, neither before or after Enlightenment. Brings bad Karma, not as happy-as-can-be-life. And the same holds also for the not-realized or not stable realized ones. Not publicly announcing ones realization has got other negative effects (like not much examples, or making it appeat to be nearly impossible to reach), but saves oneself (and others) in being more on the "humble side") from the burden of self-importance/self-grandiosity. So its a balance, see one of my last posts with the Video of Ken Wilber. And second factor: Even if you know Absolute Reality and are enlightened, that does in no way mean that ones relative life automatically already expresses the potential that this realization opens up in terms of compassion, ethical living, and embodying the truth. It provides the potential to do so, and also tends to unfold this way. But it is not assured. Ken Wilbers "Wake Up, Grow Up, Show Up". Over the long-term, when Enlightenment becomes more common, only the "Wake Up, Grow Up, Show Up" stable and mature versions of it will find group-approval/consensus. Because only that version of it is "cool", the other versions are "less than cool", or "pretty uncool". And if with Solipsism one can boost the importance/self-importance/grandiosity to hilarious proportions, confusing ego/separate self with Reality/God, and claiming stuff that is just not appropriate to be claimed for any separate self/any perspective in the Great Net of Indra/Reality/any being, but only for God proper (Nothingness, Impersonal totally empty Infinite Consciousness), well, then one has exchanged the former separate self with a new vastly-blown-up"God"-ego-separate-self, an ego/separate self blown up to cosmic dimensions and self-importance. And then good luck transcending that, and the suffering that goes along necessarily as with any separate-self identity. The big big risk that at least yours truly can see on this forum: Exactly that tends (not at every case, depends probably on the baseline-"blessing"/Karma of narcissm and self-grandiosity already in place) to happen with frequent usage of Psychedelics. 95% of the properties of Infinite Reality get revealed (the relative side, like ones identity with the whole universe (this Infinite Void-Universe, Buddha-Field, or "God" if you are so inclinded to call it that way), but not the fully empty/impersonal Absolute side of it, Absolute Impersonal Emptiness or Nothingness/Abyss that can never be seen. (And by the way, as Steven Wolinsky for example writes based on his Awakenings/visions, there are and infinite Number of Infinite Other Void-Universes/Buddha-Fields just like ours, each with a God/Buddha at its center running the "show", while being it. And none of that is the Absolute, its all relative stuff, manifestation. Not the absolute empty Abyss of Nothingness.... I remember a video somebody once maid about an "Infinity of Gods", sovereign just like oneself.... "). At least not completely, because the Psychedelics don't kill the last remnants/rest of the last subtle separate-self arisings (mainly "Individuality", or a very subtle hard to spot feeling of still being there as anything at all, or an Awareness "of" Emptiness/Nothingness/Nonduality/whatever. Still an Awarness "of"...). And, to make it even more seductive or dangerous: One is not aware what this last "individuality", or "Awareness of ..." is, or that that is still happy and busy and active, destroying ones crossing over to Complete Realization, making one still suffer. If one would understand these last remnancts of Illusion, of "Individuality", one would instantly wake up and stay that way. Knowing what one really is. If Realization of ones Identity with the Absolute Infinite Reality/Nothingness ends after the trip, maybe there was still something active blocking the full Realization throughout? Little remark, included after a waaay to long rambling: If somebody has truly read until here, and thinks all of this post is all BS, please quote the number 147, to show that one has actually read most of that dry and boring musings of yours truly until here... ( : . Thank you, very kind. Well, nothing of what I have written will proove anything for those persons having fallen heavily for that trap. especially those who do it just by thinking and watching videos, and boosting their narcissm already with that tremendously, and didn't even walk the Psychedelic path properly, but are parotting concepts & dogma from someone else. In my humble opinion, it doesn't speak for the forum that such an ego-show can happen without more highlighting these obvious mistakes. So for the "all is understood by watching the vids, but never did a trip"-fraction: Maybe consider taking one of the harder psychedelics like 5-MeO, have most/95%+ of your ego/separate self handed on a platter to you, and then come back with maybe a little bit more existential humility and awe in the face of Infinite Consciousness/Reality, and the way it can easily kill 95% of you with a little chemical and smile while doing so. Luckily, normally their tone of writing, loaded with self-grandiosity, narcissm, and writing style that generally is not "so filled" with bliss/love/compassion as one would normally expect of Divinity/Absolute/God-Realization, showing for every reader with at least some form of working spiritual compass in the heart, that their suffering probably has not ended, and they are peddling conceptual ideas and not actual realization. and if they "camouflage" their writings a bit more towards the "humble and loving/compassion side", at least it gets more pleasant and softer to read And as always, Bon Vovage for "everybody"! Selling Water by the River

I think when God does things it likes there is equally bad that it has to endure. So it can live multiple lives of bliss but everytime it dies it sees the bad piling up its trying to not to go through the bad but it can't escape it. This is its nature being equal. Imagine you lived your life died and then were confronted by the fact that you lived 1000 great lives and now are forcing yourself to live 1000 terrible lives you don't want to do it but you have to its how its designed. You really don't want to you really really don't want to but you can't escape it you did it you started the game and it dosent end until you've seen both sides. In this case it would not be smart to live only blissful life you would take both at the same time so you can end neutral. And not have 1000s of years of misery.

But that is not what the message of Mahayana Buddhism is about. This is: Buddhist philosophy has been evolving for 2500 years - and so has their idea of what is the ultimate attainment. Early Buddhist schools like Theravada set the goal of realizing one's true "buddha nature" by overcoming kleshas ("poisons of the mind") that obscure it. Basically, a permanent ego-death, which, in turn, ends the dukkha (suffering discontentment) and reveals that "samsara" has been "nirvana" all along. Not unlike the post-nirvikalpa-samadhi state in yoga/vedanta philosophy; or the final 10th season of the zen bull, if you prefer. Mahayana does not reject this attainment - it merely states that it's not the ultimate one, and expands upon it. Remember how Leo likes to say that "enlightenment is not GOD-realization"? Well, the way I see it, Mahayana's ultimate attainment, Prajnaparamita (perfect wisdom, absolute knowledge) and the accompanying Karuna (compassion, (Love?..)) - is something along these lines. And how does one develop perfect love and wisdom? Certainly not by blissing out in sitting meditation - but by engaging with the world, even though it is now clearly seen as illusory. And in what way would one engage with "the sentient beings" of this world in order to develop perfect love; what is the one most loving thing to do? Using Upaya ("skillful means") to rid them of their apparent suffering certainly comes to mind. I've heard that the misconception about "Mahayana bodhisattvas rejecting enlightenment" is mostly common in the Western academia - and mostly due to overemphasizing this one Ksitigarbha Sutra, where Buddha tells Ksitigrabha about the merits of dedicating ones efforts to the good of all beings, and how it leads to unimaginable levels of bliss - and Ksitigrabha takes it to the extreme; thus forming "the ideal of a bodhisattva".

In the last months I've had several kind of extraordinary experiences in this state when you're still half asleep but already awake, of a kind like I've never had before. One time I woke up, so I knew I was awake, but parallel to being awake I'm still also dreaming. Knowing that I'm in my room, lying on my bed I now get a sense that I'm moving upwards, like floating to the top of my room, to then get kind of excited and anxious about this process, which immediately warps me back in my lying on the bed position. Another time I experienced the same, but this time I feel like I'm flying to the far right and upper end of my room and (while not having any visual sense, it's like I'm blind, just darkness), to then suddenly see a visual representation of the "meditating monk with the 7 chakras illustrated" which hangs as a wall carpet on that wall (but I saw it as a standing cart box figure instead ?). I wake up from this experience and am fully awake, but now I have specific involuntary motoric movements of my head, face muscles and jaw, exactly in the same way like when during my lsd trips my body starts abreacting the strong emotions that come to the surface from the unconscious mind. Another time I'm still mostly asleep, but low-key lucid, I feel my body and then suddenly I feel a strong blissful energy in that area of the 2nd chakra which immediately spreads throughout the entire body, giving me something like a "bliss orgasm". The freakiest experience was this: I wake up, but are still somewhat dreamy. Now I get an anxious sense that there's someone lying next to me (I was alone though), like I hear the breath and movement of someone. Then I just manage to calm myself down and realise that I'm probably still dreaming and I become accepting of my anxious state. Though I still have an intuitive sense that any moment some kind of "presence" will show up but I'm willing to accept whatever may unfold and don't resist it. The next moment an invisible but audible entity shows up. I clearly hear its breath and a voice that starts talking in inedible language (at first) while simultaneously caressing my face with some blissful energy (as though its hands are made out of this energy) and very briefly becoming visible as the silhouette of a female looking face that I sort of see as though it was pressing itself through a layer of "dream material", kind of like when you put a silky cloth on your face. At some point I start to understand what the entity is saying and she says something along the lines of "you must choose someone who will suffer instead of you" (note that I'm dealing with a chronic and quite limiting health condition which could be what was meant by "suffering"). Then the entity tells me a precise date of the past, from way before I was born (like 1969/08/13) without any context. She then assures me that she likes me, I quickly see the Silhouette of her face again and then she disappeares and the experience comes to an end. If you feel like you have anything of value to add to all of that, feel free to do so. I don't have any idea what these experiences really are.

So I have had 4 prior breakthrough experiences where it felt extremely intense but the best way I could describe them is this challenging crucible of me disappearing and surrendering and merging into this overwhelming bliss. Every time was with bufo. This last time was the first time I tried synthetic and I used 8mg. I was a bit dissociated before beginning this experience. This time at the height there was this otherworldly terror and chaos and fear and madness unlike anything I had ever experienced. Eventually I managed to surrender to it and upon this “death” I did come back to reality in that newborn like state of full somatic release and bliss and was so grateful to have made it through. My integration on this one though has been a bit rougher than others. About 20 minutes or so after coming back to reality I went back into my dissociated state and from that state I could only really remember the terror of the trip and not the beauty and the surrender and the rebirth. It’s taken a few days and I have reconnected to my self and have integrated it to a pretty large degree. Feeling way more solid but still a bit shaky. I have had thoughts multiple times that the reason behind the terror was that it was synthetic and this would have never happened with the organic bufo. Other thoughts have me questioning was this really my first “real breakthrough” and was this my first real “death”. I am not a novice in the work whether it is through medicine or not but this has me questioning a lot. I am also wondering if I should take a break with 5meo for a bit and keep integrating or face this newly found fear I have with the medicine. Any insight, reflection or care on this topic would be greatly appreciated. Thank you to anyone who has read this far.

More accurate would be to say that on the ego's return it immediately commences its pursuit of self deception. You had become God. You had become Truth. But the ego cannot allow that. It must bring the dream back into existence and solidify it, for its own survival. This is no different from an awakening via meditation. Although, a natural awakening and a natural ego death, is more powerful than any psychedelic trip. This is because it was not accessed with any cheat code. It was accessed by being actual. By Being. This brings a bliss that taking a psychedelic can only dream of. It also will be forever glued to the memory of God in human form on the return. Far stronger then what God allows to be glued to the memory of the one who trips.

Normal full-time business career, married but no kids, and a hobby also... I was a bookworm for a long time, reading hundreds of books, with a focus on meditation/spiritual systems. I wanted to find the most efficient ones there are. Considering what that brought into my life, I wasn't too unlucky doing that. It all can be done, though honestly I wouldn't be where I am at without the book that i shamelessly promote, "Pointing Out the Great Way, Brown". You know, Selling Water by the River, and especially that book... . And other books from Mahamudra/Dzogchen also. It is a very efficient system, with limited need for sitting meditation if done correctly. I used and still use most of the day off the pillow for meditation/mindfulness practice, or just staying in my True Being. If no absolutely distracting mental work is necessary, one can use pretty much all day, even meetings and standard work to stay mindful in the sense of " Simultaneous Mind (nondual, 3. stage of Mahamudra, Yoga of One Taste)" and "mindfulness without activity and not taking to mind" (switching off the separate self, 4. stage of Mahamudra, Nonmeditation Yoga). That brings the momentum/time/hours in meditation that probably most of us need. To be honest, I had to read the book a lot of times (at least stages 1-4 Mahamudra, Skill of Reckongition, Yoga of Unelaboration, Yoga of One Taste, Nonmeditation Yoga). At one point, I had to wait several years to understand the Yoga of Unelaboration, which is really hard to understand. A cycle of read, try, read again, understand a bit more, read again, even more, meditate, get certain states, read again, misunderstand, read again, understand, and so on.... But with progress and increasing meditation experience one can get what is described, and "go upwards in circles" of meditation experience -> understanding/realization -> reading more, understanding more of the system -> meditation exerpience -> understanding/realization and so on, n+1. Yes. In essence, one gets love from others, and self-esteem (aka validation with concepts), and safety/security. Sure, at a certain stage of development one could go into the desert when the flow of love/bliss from ones True Core is fully on (It is a nice indicator to check how transcended the separate self really is). But to live a healthy and integrated life, why not take the love, validation of self-esteem from "others" on top? It also provides a good calibration to live a healthy, integrated and balanced relative life in society. Doing the desert thing at some point is rather easy... Business Meetings is where the challenge is , Death by a-bit-less-intelligent-than-can-be-Powerpoint-presentations and meetings and so on... Still working on that, and, admittingly, having fun while doing so... Even the more or less Awake Ones live a more healthy and integrated life when integrating in a healthy way in society, or at least trying to. One can do the Ramana-thing of walking off into the wildness and forget eating a little bit. But why should one do it? If one has taken at least a little bit of compassion training/Boddhisattva-vow/whatever, one probably feels better living an integrated and wholesome life in society. Selling Water by the River

No, that dream just happened. I didn't contemplate about that too much. Sure I did contemplate the topic, but I never had real problems with that. A bit yes, but not too much. Maybe because when that contemplation of "other" became a real existential topic, I was already practicing (and concentrated on) staying in boundless changeless limitless Awakened Awareness (infinite, nondual, mere appearance). When you are in that state, it doesn't freak you out that "others" don't really exist, but one can directly intuit that the same Impersonal Consciousness that Oneself and Reality really is, is also the substratum/essence (Nothingness/Consciousness) of their mindstream. You can intuit/feel their Illusion-arisings of I-feelings/I-thoughts of being something specific as being exactly(!) the same as the illusion arisings in ones own mindstream. The exact same mechanism how "others" fall for the illusion, as oneself does and did. Once one knows the structure/pattern/gestalt/essence of ones own Illusion separate self arisings, one sees them in "others", or other perspectives of the same consciousness. That doesn't cause shock, but limitless empathy. It is You (not the separate self, but the real you, Impersonal Consciousness, totally empty), litereally You looking through all eyes. That is the core and source of all empathy, but now without any filters and flowing freely, directly intuiting und knowing that it is You looking through all eyes. Then, where should the shock come from? All beings are children of the Real You, Impersonal Empty Consciousness (not a of separate self blown up to God-like proportions). Including what one formerly thought was "oneself". Only the separate self arisings/gestalt need "others" for love, validation, belongingness, self-esteem, the whole Maslow-Pyramid stage 1-4 up and down is made out of that. Couldn't be different to get a society going & surviving. Impersonal Consciousness and the bliss flowing from it doesn't need it. So it could make sense to transcend all of that already to a large degree before entering the terrain where there is no "other". The gentlemen who wrote "Enlightenment: Behind The Scenes, Leavitt" describes his final Enlightenment experience when he directly realized that he IS his daugther. Literally the same consciousness. Not as metaphor, but literally. Didn't cause a shock, but infinite love. Disclaimer (not written for you Breakingthewall): All of the above is only valid when one speaks from an Identity and mindstream of Impersonal Empty Consciousness, not from the perspective of a psychedelic boosted separate self (or even worse, not even having the psychedelic experience and just playing playing mind-games having watched some videos), blowing itself up to God-like dimensions and playing God. The entrance price for all of that is literally the transcendence/death of large or most parts of the separate self, and the final price is its complete demise/complete transcendence (transcendence of the separate self part, and then include the remaining functional character. Transcend and integrate, not transcend and disassociate, see Ken Wilber). Death/Transcendence not of the functional character/Ego, but of the separate self arisings. The main indicator for the separate self still being well, alive and active is narcissm, or self-grandiosity and self-importance. Preferably in the form of preaching from upon high. On the other side, that is not even a bad thing, because then every newbie with at least some intuition, common sense, and a not too narcisstic karma can spot that from a mile away. Instead of transcending/slowly annihilating the separate self, one boosts it up to God-like dimensions with doing that. Good luck ever transcending that! Doing something like that can destroy ones life. There have been cases like that, final station mental asylum or next life, or in the "best case" just a miserable unintegrated life full of suffering- end of disclaimer - I don't know if that view/frame helps. Maybe it is a nice exercise to feel deeply into the essence/consciousness of what you are, and then deeply into the consciousness/sentience of "another"? Its the same Nothingness/Consciousness. One can directly experience that (if oneself is completely empty, just pure impersonal consciousness). It is not philosophy or a nice idea, but a direct experience. But one has to be completely empty. The own lense of perception has to be completely empty of separate self arisings (=high speed cut off of any of these arisings before they grip/hypnotize oneself and elaborate fully, Trekchö-style. Needs familiarity, training and high-speed of attention/spotting, aka the goal of meditation. Please see my last decription-posting of the Pointing out the Great Way Mahamudra system, link below), only then one can intuit that. A colored lense with stains will not let that intuition/understanding pass. As second step, one can feel that essence of every appearance of the visual field as Nothingness, hovering as mere appearance in infinite Nothingness, at a certain point of practice Which is necessary at some point, because as Daniel Brown said: One can not understand the Totality/Wholeness from a partialized stance. Nonduality has to be there before that understanding. One has to literally become all phenomena appearing in the Infinite Boundless Changeless Awakened Awareness field (that is Nonduality), and then see what all of that is and who or what is aware of that. Then, at the end of the Road, Infinite Consciousness/Nothingness IS everything: Your Mindstream, the mindstream of others, the appearance of the world in the visual field, every though/feeling. Infinite, boundless, limitless, nondual all there ever could be. Everything that could ever appear appears in that, made out of that suchness/Nothingness/Consiousness as its essence. Then, one experiences/becomes/is... Home/safe/Indestructable/eternal: And that actually is not shocking. But if feels like one is at home, now and always, wherever you go in relative reality. No Fear: Somewhere in the Upanishads it says "Where there is other there is fear". If there is only oneself, which is indestructable (no moving parts, just Nothingness that can't disappear), there is no fear. Infinite Love: The recognition that there is no other in the whole kosmos, but only the suchness of ones being, bound together in a infinite nondual field of love Infinite Freedom: When the bliss/love of your own indestructable infinite true being flows, what could you ever want that you don't get, or ever be taken away from you? Total freedom. Then we have Eternal/Indestructable, Fearless, Love, and infinite Freedom. But before one gets there, the illusion-mechanism/Maya/Lila had to place some strong "illusion-protection-mechanisms" in front of these properties of the enlightened mindstream, because if it wouldn't scare the separates selves, who in his right mind wouldn't attach his own mindstream to these properties of the enlightened mindstream. And the strongest one is probably the need for "other" or "others", Maslow stage 1-4. Somehow I mostly fail to write short posts. Maybe I need to go to a training "Concise writing for Dummies" who went off the deep end of Emptiness... Selling Water by the River

Hi Ayham, I remember that very well. Facing everything the separate-self can throw at you head on.... And it can throw a lot... Maya is not letting one off the hook easily... The Game-Changer for me was the book "Pointing Out the Great Way, Daniel Brown". At least for me personally, 95% of the meditation system out there would have never worked for me. They would have been too unpleasant, or needing more much willpower. Or I would have get stuck in the several traps there are, where ones practice can "bottom out", and lead nowhere.... So I can not highly enough express my gratitude for the heroic pioneering effort of Daniel Brown translating all these books, and getting the (in my opinion) most sophisticated meditation system of the planet to the West. It has been practiced and refined for hundreds of years, developed further, elaborated in hundreds of Tibetan Books, producing a steady stream if deeply enlightened beings. It achieves a precision of technical vocabulary in the stage decriptions of evolving meditation, meditation experiences, resulting understandings and insights about ones mindstream and Reality emerging at different stages like nothing I have ever seen, and I studied more or less all major meditation systems, reading a few hundreds of books. The book is several hundreds of pages. It lead to me awe and deep respect of the Mahamudra-System when realizing at certain stages that I just had experienced the exact same flow of meditation experiences and understandings/insights than Tibetan meditators hundreds of years ago. Of course I can't summarize a few hundred pages of the book with the musings below. But I try to give a first taste of the system, with some personal experiences with it, and how it all developed for me, just to show off how great and oh so wonderful I am . No, just kidding... Because I would have loved to have had something like a"user experience" with certain meditation systems like that 15 years ago, to get a feeling for a certain path, and the experiences others are having with it. Concentrative Meditation: I would recommend starting with concentrative meditation, the Elephant Path (all Tibetan schools use it). There are several stages of concentrative meditation that must be mastered, and tools learned doing it. They are very well described in Pointing out the Great Way, and "The Elephant Path: Attention Development and Training in Children and Adolescents", in the chapter of Daniel Brown. Here is explicitely stated what one learnes while learning concentrative meditation. By the way, that system is in my humble oinion more sophisticated than Zen or Vipassana, because it includes techniques like easing up and intensifying. That is essential for making it efficient, and these techniques are just not there in Vipassana and Zen. These aspects (easing up and intensifying) one learns there by conincidence, or not at all. In the beginning, you don't stay long on the meditation object (breath, stone, candle, not so important), but just catch yourself when you have wandered off, your monkey mind taking you on a ride and elaborating something else. Now: Don't put negative reaction/feedback on that, but move attention/focus back. You can only control focus/attention, you can't force what thoughts emerge. So meditation is always moving attention back from wandering off, and the more you do that, the more pliant the mind becomes: Less wandering off, and if wandered off much faster to move it back. And when that goes quite well with a little bit less wandering off or loosing attention. Then, when its more automatic, you "ease up", which means you use less energy and focus, and see if you can stay on the object. If yes, good: Ease Up. Easing Up brings more clarity to what else goes on in the mindstream. Which lets you notice more of the subtler arisings of the mindstream emerging. When you drift off more than, then intensify: Inhale strongly, increase focus, energize. And see then if you stay more on the object. If you do, ease up. Find the optimum energy balance you need to stay on the object. One balances easing up and intensifying then.... Then your clarity will increase, your energy will become nice, joy can start to arise. And then you do that for a few months, a year.... Meditation Experiences of Clarity, Lucidity, Bliss and Non-conceptuality (silent mind) can occur, but also go again. They are just experiences passing in you. This way, you train your focus and make your mind pliant. When you can stay on the objects for a few minutes without totally getting lost in elaborated thoughts, and keep some focus on the object while wandering off in thought a bit, you have partial staying.... at some point you have pretty good staying on the object for a few minutes. Meditation without an object: Then comes a big change, that you can start doing then: Change to the Mindstream of thoughts itself as meditation object. And try to stay mindful of the mind watching that mindstream. If you can keep doing that (which takes a long time), you can start taking the meditation into daily life. Investigating the Nature of thoughts: See Pointing Out the Great Way for that. Thoughts are no different than consciousness, which is empty/nothing, yet has clarity/awareness, so its not a nothing at all. If you look into a thought, you don't find it, it disappears. Is cut off. One can never see or find a thought. Looking into a thought, an experience of un-findability arises. Empty, nothing specific. But with clear alert awareness of consciousness. Empty and aware. Nothingness, yet something that is not nothing. Nothingness. Emptiness. Consciousness. And more important: When really looking into the nature of a thought, it evaporates. Is cut off. Disappears. Reveals its nature of emptiness. With exactly that phenomenon is worked in the "Skill of Recognition", see below. Doesn't that effect appear as very useful to get thoughts and the mindstream under control? Of course! That effect of the thought evaporating, revealing its nature as Nothingness/Consciousness when looking into it, and generalizing that oberservation and understanding on the whole mindstream and all events it contains and can contain. That is understanding the continuum of the mindstream. The nature of thoughts. You don't control the thoughts which arise, that is why you/the person is also empty, a concept. Because what are you, if you don't even control your thoughts, and what thoughts arise? After having mastered Concentrative meditation, and having understood (contemplation) the nature of thoughts as consciousness/awareness/emptiness/suchness/Nothingness, you can put that into practice: Skill of Recognition: (1. Yoga of Mahamudra system) Now it gets interesting. That was the decisivepoint for me once I understood that, and implemented it. Afterwards, it started to get nondual pretty soon... If you look HOW the thoughts emerge, (1) out of what they emerge, (2) what they are, (3) in what they move (4) into what they disappear ALL of that (1)(2)(3)(4) must be present. Thoughts DO appear. From "something". Stay in "something". Consisting of "something" All of that is Emptiness, or Consciousness, or Nothingness. Thoughts are made of "that","move in that", "dissolve into that". and you will never SEE that, or can say what it is. Nothing. But not a blank nothing. An aware Nothing. Actually the essence of all world-appearances, but that comes later, when it gets nondual, at the Yoga of One Taste. What happens if you investigate into emerging thoughts this way, is that they get FASTER. VERY FAST. Like 20-30 emergent thoughts/feeling arisings per second, most of them rudimentary. The mind does this to keep the illusion going. To make it too fast for you. But at some point, you learned to get that fast also... Basically, looking into a thought, one sees its Emptiness/Nothingness (one doesn't find the thought, it evaporates). It is cut off. Dzogchen calls this cutting off "Trekchö". Daniel Brown called this stage a "High Speed Search Task into the unfindability of the nature of thoughts". A High Speed Search task into their emptiness, into their nature as consciousness, as Nothingness. So the emerging gets fast, very fast. Daniel Ingram also mentions that. But at some point, with enough practice and familiarity, YOU get faster. You spot and cut off every very fast, subtle, fragmentary thought arising. None of them "grips" you anymore, since you have seen them all, and their structure. Just thoughts arising very fast. You don't control which thoughts arise. Depended origination, they are just emerging by themselves. You can focus on just their arising (of thoughts), just their staying, just their going away. At some point, they just emerge, looking into their nature is automatic, and they immediately dissolve. No duration. Just emergence, and poof gone. And when you are fast enough, you get a continuance of staying mindful. When that happens its pretty clear what happened. Your attention got so fast that you can stay mindful even through the high-speed thought emergence. At the end, they come very fast, they don't get "elaborated out". Thinking, or elaborating the thoughts out, is slower than their emergence. They emerge already fully complete with their content, and then slowly get "talked/elaborated" in your mind. Natural reaction: So WHO the f*** am I (pardon my french) when I don't control what thoughts emerge and if they appear fully with their content in a fraction of a second, and get elaborated later in a hypnotic show over several second? good question... to be answered later. Outcome is: You know the nature of every possible thought (Consciousness-Emptiness-Nothingness), of the whole mental-continuum of thoughts, all that there can be. Their nature. you can cut off or transcend/just watch your normal mindstream in most daily situations without getting caught up/hypnotized by it, which already here leads to a lot of bliss. Not sufficient bliss to get ones separate self completely handled, but already quite wonderful. That is the start of real freedom. You know how your mindstream hypnotizes you, and gets faster when you actually look into each thought arising and its nature. At some point you get fast enough to cut off every arising, or let it elaborate in a controlled aka mindful way. Yoga of Unelaboration (2. Yoga of Mahamudra-System) Here, you finish off with time. You open up the eternal always here mind. Past and future become deeply understood as imagined/manifested right here and now, not really existing. Only the eternal now exists. Not as idea, as concept, as understanding, but as felt and lived reality. Deeply realized. Always Here. Eternal. How ones True Being can be immortal/eternal/always here becomes a very real possibility here. Later on, the emerging possibility "of how that could work" become validated beyond any possible doubt. Pointing Out the Great Way: "From where does the first mind-moment [the thought-arising] arise? Then, where does it stay? Finally, where does it go when it stops? The "mind" in which all this is happening is Always Here. Always Here Mind. Time is not "out there", self-existing. You only notice time because of change, of emerging thoughts and appearances. time is a mere construct/concept. No change of appearances/thoughts, no time. "One" doesn't control the content of the emergent thoughts "Through dependent origination certain propensities [thought capsules with their full content already "inside" emerge] at the very subtle level ripen into subtle movements within the temporal mental continuum, which in turn become constructed into and elaborated as coarse-level thoughts [get elaborated into long thoughts that get told in awareness over several seconds] and appearances" dependend origination: "one" doesn't control which thoughts emerge. "The skilled meditator can view events transforming from very subtle propensities to specific subtle mind-moments and constructed coarse thoughts and appearances seeming to arise and pass in the temporal mental continuum through a process of dependent origination" Seeing and understanding the emergence of the thoughts (fully formed out with all their content, but not yet elaborated in the mindstream, emerging in the Always Here Mind), and seeing this in real-time because ones attention got fast enough, is a game-changer. That stage is very hard to fully understand in Pointing Out the Great Way. At least for me, it took me a long time. . I would have been faster with coaching.... Yoga of One Taste (3. Yoga of Mahamudra System) So here it gets nondual and mere appearance, floating in Nothingness. No more a solid and external/duality reality "out there" anymore. But an infinite limitless field of Infinite Consciousness, manifesting an appearing world of mere appearances arising in it. A loving blissful boundless timeless field of bright lucid Awakened Awareness. This is where probably (my pet-theory) the Endohuasca-System starts working. https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ The practice is basically taking the insights of stage 2 and putting them into practice, specifically also in daily everyday life. With that, one gets enough time and momentum in meditation to really make the difference, to get it nondual. To make all that with sitting meditation on the pillow, at least for me it would have been a full-time job. And I did a demanding career and some other stuff in the meantime also... The view taken all thoughts/mental events emerge in the Always Here Mind, or Simultaneous Mind (which means nondual). same with all world appearances. The essence of all thoughts is emptiness/consciousness, and the essence of all visual field appearances is also emptiness/appearance/consciousness. That is called the "One Taste" of every arising (thought or world-appearance). Nondual in other words. and being aware of the emerging high-speed stream of thoughts emerging already with full content, but getting elaborated in the seconds following, and cutting off most of the emergent thoughts by looking into their nature, which has been automized by this point enough clarity and mindfulness is generated that at some point The Visual Field/"world": Becomes mere appearance and infinite/limitless becomes mere appearance appearances 1) the world no longer feels "out-there". Everything arising just arises in oneself. 2) appearances loose their solidity. One can not tell if they are solid "objects" out there, or just appearances happening in the timeless Always-Here-Mind 3) At some point later, with a lot of meditation-mindfulness-momentum, the "inside" feeling as pure empty awareness, a very transparent witness, but not even that because the awareness is no longer separate: the visual field becomes really mere appearance. One looks at something, and its just appearance hovering in Nothingness. You feel into it, and its essence is the same as the indescripbable Nothingness behind ones head. luminous mere appearances, very similiar to trip-descriptions. the limit of the visual field, and the wondering of "what is behind it", become limitless or infinite there is "nothing" behind it. One just imagines a border/boundary of the visual field one imagines that something must be behind it (like 3D-Space continues". No, 3D-space is imagined in dimensionless Nothingness/Infinite Consciousness. 3D-Space is not self-existing, dangling out there. That was a biggie for me, took a long time to get, and could have been much faster with coaching. Guess I am quite a visual person Time is gone. Timeless Everything can only happen here, and now Past is imagined here and now , future also here and now the "subject"/"me", the separate self Gestalt/arisings, feeling and being separate from the whole Reality, slowly gets transcended and dissolves, more and more aspects of the person/separate self are seen as arisings moving within oneself. finally, after a long path of transcending every identity/I-thought/I-feeling of the Ego/Body-Mind/character, it becomes a transparent witness, nothing but still something witnessing the visual field. At some point, One can't tell AT ALL what one is, nothing positive is left. I am not the body/person, anything. Only aware Emptiness. But somehow some murky Witness or something like that still there. One literally doesn't know what one is, besides the nondual field... One becomes the visual field of mere appearance, one is that in a nondual way. any sense of location or center slowly dissolves. One becomes the whole boundless timeless field of mere empty, groundless appearance. Sometimes lucid and shimmering, like mere appearance. Some traditions call that already Enlightenment, or Kensho/Satori/Awakening. And it is in some way. But Nonduality is not already Full or Great Enlightenment, where there is absolutely no doubt about ones nature, and the nature of reality. That can become clear like ice-cold water thrown in ones face. Nonduality can be very well experienced by a separate self, just try some psychedelics.... To reach Nonduality sobre without psychdelics, one already has to be quite empty or transcended the separate self, but not necessarily (and normally) fully. With psychedelics, you don't need to empty (or have transcended the separate self) at all. 5 MeO will do that for, even if you don't want. Not fully empty, not the last step (no traces of Individuality/transparent witness left, see above), but very very much. that brings us to the last stage, Stage 4 of the Mahamudra System, the Yoga of Nonmeditation. And here is where meditation, and the long time it enables in these very empty states of dissolving every last speck of individuality/last very subtle separate self arisings/last very subtle illusions, becomes paramount. Only this 4. stage enables the final crossing over to fully, without a doubt, knowing what Ones True Self, and Reality, really is. Without that, suffering, grasping for ever more Awakenings, and still being a bit "gaslighting-ability" of the finality of ones realization/awakening, continues. Yoga of Nonmeditation (4. Yoga of Mahamudra System) What is already the case, from stage 3 Yoga of One Taste: The visual field/world already arises in the Always Here Mind as mere groundless luminous appearance, with Nothingness as its essence in an infinite limitless field of Awareness Space in the timeless Always Here Mind so many ingredients of the True State of Things, ones True Identity as Boundless Changeless Timeless Reality are already in place. That is already very lovely, filled mostly with bliss. Like really really nice. But not fully the Unshakeable Unchanging Reality that one intuits to really be, with its Infinite Love, Peace and Bliss. Only one thing is still missing for conforming fully to the enlightened mindstream, and fully crossing over to it with the sudden recognition of ones True Identity, Reality itself, Absolute Impersonal Infinite Consciousness, Nothingness. and that is the last remants of the Empty/Transparent Witness, or what Brown calls artifical activity. The last remnants of individuality, of I-feeling, I-thoughts arising in oneself. The last aspects of being a bit separate from Reality itself, from being not fully empty/transcended. A very subtle transparent witness, already being nondual, identifying with an infinite nondual field. Bassui (Zen, in Three Pillars of Zen) calls this Awareness of Emptiness, or Awareness of Beingness. A very subtle feeling of still being aware of SOMETHING, even if that is infinite Nonduality. Not full and complete nonduality and oneness. Still a subtle (very subtle) separate self aware of the Totality. Not the Totality being fully aware of itself, like in perceptions perceiving themselves. One can do NOTHING here to cross over to Full Enlightenment/Basis Enlightenment. Because that would be an act of a separate self. An effort. A movement of a separate self WANTING something, manipulating the mindstream, grasping for the understanding, doing something.... One can only automize the meditation/mindfullness, staying fully present, letting the Awakened Impersonal Awareness flow by itself, let IT do the meditation itself, get out of the way... Bringing out the full force of this Utterly Impersonal Awakened Awareness. Ones True Identity. And that is the last contra-intuitive trap: ONE CAN'T FORCE IT ("artifical activity"). Because forcing it would be a separate self arising doing it. One can try to force it (for example Koan-style), but then the Crossing Over normally happens in a moment of grace, of relaxation, when artificial activity is not present. And once the last very subtle remnants of the separate self are seen as moving within oneself, just changing and temporary arisings/movements consisting of I-thoughts and I-feelings, the last subtle lenses ("Individuality,separateness") are recognized and dropped/transcended/no longer believed and just cut off/let go/Trekchö-style. All and any center gone, no separate anything remaining anywhere, forcing its claws of suffering into the natural bliss of Enlightened Infinite Nondual Empty Reality itself, perceptions perceiving themselves, shimmering in Infinite Always here Nothingness, in Infinite Nondual Consciousness. The Universal Mind, Nothingness. Realizing that nothing is lost if the separate self illusion is realized and seen as that what it really is, and always was: Just appearances happening and moving within the Always Here True Self/Reality. All that is lost is an illusion, what is gained is Reality itself and its inherent bliss. And indeed welcome home, to a home you never left, on a journey that never really happened.... Bon Voyage! Selling Water by the River PS: By the way, that is not a nice theory and beautiful claims, but a path actually walked over many years (although because of lacking coaching and not being too smart sometimes from my side making it take longer than actually needed). But I am still very very thankful that I picked that path, and not 10-15 years face against the wall Zen-monastery Koan-style. That would have also maybe worked (but I don't know, that system has many pitfalls the Tibetans have identified and made maps for to avoid these), but would have been much less pleasant, at least for me. Would have felt like digging a hole with a shovel instead with a climatized excavator, doing most of the meditation in daily life instead of some hardcore-monastery-fulltime-environment. So I can understand all those that don't like meditation, because it is maybe the hardest thing one can actually do, depending on the system. Give this system a try! PSPS: Before one maybe starts thinking that nothing matters, and Karma is just an Illusion, since Individuality and everything else is an illusion anyways, and nothing matters, like ethics, common sense, Karma, compassion and so on: Be sure that reality will give you a crosscheck if that is really the case, or just a funny idea/concept. And then let's see if suffering hurts and grips, or is still just considered an Illusion. Compassion and Boddhichitta for all beings (which are nothing but the same One Reality without a second) actually is a pretty hard entrance criteria to any of these states decribed above. With honest and practiced compassion/ethics/Boddhichitta, one has the support from all of Infinite Reality on ones path. And how much intuition and intelligence emerges in ones mindstream is guided only by this One Infinitely Intelligent Reality without a second.

Update: Today, I reconnected with bliss. I listened to nostalgic music and went outside to contemplate reality. So much gratitude bliss and curiosity for just being alive. But this isn’t enlightenment. Enlightenment isn’t a feeling. It is a deep profound realization into the nature of reality. It isn’t some Buddhist idea you parrot. It is a genuine original insight. If you call feeling blissed and connected as enlightenment, then I have been enlightened since I was 4 years old.

DMT Quest has made two books and several fascinating videos. https://dmtquest.org/questions-for-the-lion-tamer-1/ and It is really fascinating stuff, that can explain a lot of other phenomena in an integral way. Among other things, they postulate that the Endohuasca-system is triggered by a) Meditation https://dmtquest.org/meditation-hypnosis/ Get Gamma-frequency of the brain up, and the endohuasca-system probably starts flowing.... In Ken Wilbers system, subjective states (Upper Left Quadrant) have correlates in the body (Upper Right Quadrant), and vice-versa. Causing positive feedback-loops, increasing lucidity and nonduality, bliss and so on. The transformation of the whole self/identity, in stages, making states permanent.... Principle: States are free, stages are earned. When the mindstream conforms to the requirements of these systems, stabilizing and enlightened mind-stream. Daniel Brown did a study with his "Pointing out the Great Way" students and a advanced Brainscanner. Result: Gamma-waves boosted to the max.... Maybe helps to take transforming the baseline state via meditation to "trippy"-levels more serious... b) Dark Retreat (The Tibetans do it for 100s of years, several other tribes do it, tends to induce visions. Some kind melatonin-pineal-gland.connection). c) Special Breathing (Wim Hoefer, Holotropic Breathing, Tummo, ...) d) Other stuff (Near Death experiences, cancer in certain areas of the brain (pineal gland), Kundalini, ...). trigger the body-endohuasca-system. Some meditation-states, especially advanced ones once stabilized in daily life (post-samadhi), or hardcore pillow-meditation-states, are quite "trippy" and (1) change the visual field towards "not external/nondual", "lucid,vivid,bright, groundless mere appearance, Nothingness as its essence, "hovering" in Infinite Nothingness". (2) kill the localization sensation of being in the body, making one no longer localized in the infinite field, but being the unbounded wholeness of Reality. (3) And bliss. Ken Wilbers once linked that drug addicts of Heroin get previews to the bliss of certain meditative states, and of course get addicted to that. Although I have never tried Heroin and am not so stupid to try, in my experience I can confirm (1) (2) and (3). And having these states in place, it becomes possible to intuit and realize what is aware of the whole Enchilada, being also its essence: Nothingness. Perceptions perceiving themselves. Ones True Identity. There are definitely bodily/energetic/chemical changes going on in these transformations or stabilizing these states as stages. The two books are actually a good reading for everyone belittling meditation and the permanent and deep transformations possible (@Breakingthewall, I know you don't and are open. I just write in general, as always). The states induced by psychedelics that are ripping ones heart open to Infinite Love, bathing ones sould and being in heavenly bliss, and opening the separate self contraction to the Infinite, are also available to the body by endogenous means. Or else, how would the stereotypical enlightened one with a halo depicted around the head "oozing" bliss "work"? Auto-Suggestion? The receptors in the body are there anyway, else psychedelics wouldn't work. Just add a system where an enlightened mindstream (empty, fast enough to spot separate-self-arisings, very high Gamma/Delta-waves/meditation states) triggers the body-Endohuasca-system, and one has hypothesized a possible mechanism growing and transforming baseline-consciousness to the Infinite. A system that could explain the manifestation of the potential of the human being, ranging from atom-molecule-animal-primate-human to Infinite Being/True Identity, ACTUALIZED on a permanent and stable basis. Certainly not boosting trippy states to the " stratosphere" where one can no longer "walk straight", but a lovely way to life ones life... ACTUALIZED sounds (at least to me) more like: Realized ones potential, like in "permanently". Not only for the trip, and then again with the next trip... That would be "actualized temporarily...." And of course "Exo"-Huasca of course also works.... Selling Water by the River

Sorry, that wasn't clearly written from my side. That statement, and actually my whole post referred to AlexNonyamous6 statement/post (the parts quoted below). My post didn't mainly refer to your post. I just agreed with what you have written ("very true"). I think we agree that having some basic in normal relative in place can be helpful for the further path. One shouldn't wait starting the spiritual path until then, but maybe "saving the world" can wait a little bit until ones own life is balanced&healthy. The definition of suffering I use is "psychological suffering, OR resistance to what is", not for example bodily pain (and even with that, you can have bodily pain as raw sensation, flowing through you, with no psychological resistance added to it). And with that definition, if one constantly rests in ones True Nature, suffering can indeed be overcome. Because if one rests in One True Nature (Reality itself), its rather hard to have the "autoimmune disorder" of rejecting certain aspects of your own True Self, and creating duality while doing so. Ones True Nature is the source of all bliss and peace. The experiences that the separate self strives for temporarily relieve the suffering that the separates self arising-structures cause/consist of on a regularly basis. At least my experience. But the fulfillment of these experiences doesn't create the bliss, but cause temporarily the stopping/cutting off that the separate self does to that flow of bliss. That by the way becomes pretty clear when one can literally shut off the self-contraction in ones head, when the localization and contraction (sensations normally behind the eyes) there are lost. Before I learned to do that with meditation (by the way, mainly in daily life, off the pillow. But starting on the pillow for quite a while), I became aware how sometimes before fully waking up the contraction in the head is not there yet, and then while waking up from slumbering "kicks in", but I couldn't reverse it back then. Maybe you know that experience. After a lot of meditation that became possible. It feels like you can literally switch off the separate self when it kicks in with some kind of unpleasant contractions/localizations/sensations in the head (plus of course the usual I-thought blabla and some I-feelings, and other unpleasant emotions/suffering coming with it), and get the bliss flowing doing that cutting off/Trekchö-style. and it took me many years getting there, probably can't be done short term. Ken Wilber: States are free, stages are earned (with a lot of work/practice). At least in my case, didn't go too fast... Probably big ego-case needed to be chopped away slowly The statements above are in line with all spiritual traditions on Enlightenment which I am aware of. Ken Wilber once wrote that it can be made from peak experience to plateau to permanent. Once one achieves making certain states stable as a plateau, one gets an idea how it all can work shutting off the suffering with "on-board-devices", no longer being dependend on external experiences. Then, one continues practicing to make it from plateau to permanent. When it gets that bad, I believe it is possible to either stay in the source of bliss, or at least to overcome the shock much faster, depending how solid one is rooted in ones own True Being, the source of all bliss. There are cases like that. And when one knows the mechanism described above, it becomes pretty clear how that does and would work... To make it more specific: The flow of bliss "using on-board-devices" (efficient meditation opening the Endohuasca-System, something like this https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ ) can become so strong that one can stay open in the Infinite, to use your words. And that creates a dynamic between bliss -> opening up nondual-way to the infinite -> more bliss -> more opening up to the infinite and so on that can become so strong that it can stay even through even heavy blows of fate. >there will always be suffering as long as you are human Actually, I agree to that. But at the end, you are much more the whole Reality then just a human. A Deep Identity Shift. One actually is the Whole Thing... Then one has a human moving in True Oneself, one is no longer just a human anymore. And then, suffering can become a background voice, very remote, much more easy to switch off.... I know, words in a forum... But it would be inauthentic from me to not write about that, because it is my own experience. I can only invite and motivate people to go this path. There is too much written about that it is not possible, suffering will persist and so on and so on. It doesn't need to, really doesn't. It is a bit like the Gateless Gate: One can't see it before one gets access to certain meditative and nondual/non-localized states of meditation in daily life that get the bliss/Endohuasca-system flowing. And then, oh boy, it is truly a miracle. Again and again. best regards Selling Water by the River

Very True. And there is a nice and pretty fool-proof (literally ) indicator if one really rests in ones own True Being, is enlightened on a stable basis, or if the separate self arisings are still well and alive: If you still suffer regularly, you resist the present moment manifested in your True Being/Reality. To be more precise: The separate self arisings in the True You are the resisting/suffering. So there are still some elements not transcended, your deep identity is not Reality itself then, because you (separate self arisings) want to have the True You/Reality different than it appears in this moment when you suffer. In this forum exists a large tendency to talk this simple mechanism away, because it is the blind spot (and contradiction in itself) of not so enlightened separate selves/egos thinking they are God. And admitting this to be the case, it would stop the Ego/Separate Self from thinking it is God/Absolute and its preaching from "upon high" with a hilarious ego/narcissm-show of truly god-sized dimension, which apparently feels oh so nice for some and starting lecturing. But hey, the show seen here sometimes really reminds of prime time comedy... And as written above, the mechanism luckily literally is fool-proof. No one gets left behind in Maya . Sorry, pardon my french. My recommendation would be, since you mention psychosis and depression: Get your life in order (psychological health, financial security/education/job, familiy & friends & relationships, a harmonious life on the relative level), until depression, psychosis and conflict in general is gone in your life as much as possible, and a happy & healthy as can be life on a relative level is achieved. And combining that growing up on all levels, and waking up with some kind of meditation practice would be real serious and transforming spiritual practice, ending up if possible in a stable resting in your True Being itself. Then you can show up in the world. Ken Wilbers grow up, wake up, show up. Then live the bliss of your true being on a stable basis for 5 years or so. And then, start thinking about how you can help so called "others". Maybe recheck if there are "others" at all.... Because if you try to "help/change" "others" from a position halfway up the mountain, that project is just one of the endless projects of the separate self to make the world conform to its own ideas and visions, and to ease its own suffering. What the outcome of these good intentions can be sometimes, look around in the world.... exactly. Bon voyage! Water by the River

This morning I was in the middle of a tropical rainforest on a hike. Randomly I felt a very strong urge to get away from other people and listen to the birds. for a few minutes it felt like I was on mushrooms, the noises were strange and very beautiful. Then it hit me, I realized everything is completely perfect, felt a deep bliss, perhaps the best experience of my life without psychedelics, started thanking god and telling god i love you and then i felt that god felt it back. Went on crying tears of joy saying thank you and I love you to god for creating reality out of love. then i realized i am god and we are thanking ourself. I am out of the state of consciousness now so it's really weird looking back, just like a trip. It lasted like 30-60 minutes, I just realized everything is perfect, completely okay, and there is nothing to ever worry about. God is it, God is you, God is me. God is every single you it and me. At the start I had my personal identity, then I felt god's love, then it just switched and my identity was god creating me. Having some ego backlash now, very strange it happened spontaneously, not even while meditating.

It’s important to note that any practice just as a way to escape suffering or done casually isn’t going to lead to much spiritual growth. In terms of exercise, I use the Wim Hof Breathing method. I find it most effective when integrated with processing emotions and trauma work. For me, suffering comes before the bliss. Much like that Katy Perry song, “after a hurricane comes a rainbow”. The problem is, nobody wants to face their hurricane. But the storm is inevitable, yet God is so loving that God won’t force you into anything.

Yes, @Danioover9000 obviously cited the shooting first, otherwise there would be no reason for me to present the refutation. He has denied this twice even though it was visibly verifiable. This is simply a case of untreated mental illness and I'm surprised moderation is so careless that they allow an unstable psychoneurosis victim to fester in chronic delusions via their unrestricted use of this forum. It's not healthy for him or the community. @Roy Studies show conservatives are happier and studies show left-leaning people are more intelligent. Ignorance is bliss, nothing new here. I do find it funny that you chose to defer to this vacuous speculation in lieu of addressing my response to your absurd accusation that I am disrespecting victims of Nazism. I'll repeat myself, there's a reason why we distinguish the original Nazis from modern day "neo-nazis" which is the term I used. Are you willing to sheepishly deny that ideological tenets of original Nazism have survived to this day? Is your position that anyone who merely refers to these ideological successors is a "sucked in idiot" as you put it? ?? Nobody is disrespecting original victims of Nazis by acknowledging that modern day neo-nazis exist. Such drivel.

@michaelcycle00 Good point. I remember the first time took psychedelics I immediately had profound mystical experiences. It was the most beautiful, but also most terrifying experience I ever faced. I overcame that and thought that I conquered all my fears! And then I took an even stronger psychedelic a couple years later… that’s when I realized, “holy shit, this is where the rubber meets the road”. When you go deeper, that’s when all your deepest traumas come up to the surface, and you’ll have no choice but to face them. This is why it’s foolish to proselytize psychedelics to anybody willy nilly. They have the potential for great healing, but the cost is shattering your old way of living, which of course we consider death. To make matters worse, the work it takes to integrate this healing is literally like living life on God difficulty. But, hey, it’s totally worth it compared to living in ignorant bliss (or perhaps it’s not)

I’ve experienced this on high dose of ketamine, but it was the most connected I’ve ever felt in my life. Nothing in this physical realm can compare to the the eternal bliss I experienced. After that trip, though, was a year of *survival and seeing directly how corrupted my mind is, thus that’s when the difficult and real work began. I need to make it clear that psychedelics are a powerful healing agent, but the integration period is perhaps even more important. *I was doing this prior to psychedelics, but I was unconscious of it.

And since the True Oneself is still there (by definition) in such empty "horror" states (no observer/subject/witness, or "death without end" as you call it), what one thought one was before is just an appearance/arising/illusion/FAKE. What One really is is perceptions perceiving themselves, nondual, no self with any quality left besides just pure empty awareness watching its own arisings, totally nondual, perceptions perceiving themselves. Also: Since "one" is still there in these observerless-death-horror-states, apparently what has dropped away was some sort of temporary illusion, by definition. So its some sort of Illusion-death-horror-experience, because one is apparently still there to tell about it, and to experience it. That is where the "permanent" or "always here/never not not right here" aspect of ones True Identity becomes useful to identify illusion/temporary arising, and the real (No-)Thing. Steven Norquist describes that like a nice Horror-novel: "Haunted Universe: The True Knowledge of Enlightenment ". When you had enough time in these states, the scary/horror part drops away totally, and is replaced by the bliss of these nondual and empty states. Which is then very(!) lovely. One has a human/ego, contained within Oneself, arising in Oneself, but is no longer only that. One is the Whole Thing, and ever has been. The initial "Horror-Reaction" depends on the speed of being dropped into that Nondual Empty Totality. Psychedelics deliver probably the fastest "drop". When it happens slowly and gradually, there isn't too much Horror in some cases, maybe some scary moments (that is me?!?. But what about "real" me??? . Oh, its the other way round... ), but one gets used to that. All that is lost is an Illusion. What is gained is a Deep Identity Shift, fixing the former mistaken identity/illusion of the separate self-Gestalt-arisings, into becoming the "Whole Thing/Reality itself", and even more important: Into being eternal/invincible (no moving parts anymore that can be hurt or disintegrate, nothing that can get destroyed or even change), into being the whole Reality being able to manifest/imagine anything wanted in Itself, being made of Itself... A total Freedom, because one will never suffer since no psychological suffering arisings will ever "grip" again (at least not in this life, if the brain doesn't disintegrate like Alzheimer and so on) a total Fullness because the Love/Fullfillment/bliss freely flowes from ones Core, and a total freedom from fear, because even if in future reincarnations/shows, the Illusion of separate self-arisings will arise again, it will not affect ones true core, infinite absolute Nothingness/Reality. and probably a certain momentum/Karma of being pulled to get there again in the next play/show/life/reincarnation, if one is inclined into believing something like that. But hey, maybe being a dinosaur next time is more fun, so I am flexible on the concept of reincarnation/Karma and so on.... The Real Me will always be there, can't be not there.... The following quite is like a mathematically precise short definition of the real state of things, that deep Identity Shift of Enlightenment: "We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all." Kalu Rinpoche But the dropping of that Illusion is "protected" by Maya/Lila with the strongest Horror-arisings there can be..... The Horror of being NOTHING/NOTHINGNESS. That experience is like the Wizard of Oz: Appears to be scary, but doesn't really exist. It also only just arises. Funny construction, hm? Selling Water by the River PS: I am not belittling the Horror-Death-reaction described. It is exactly that, but on the next step/steps it becomes clear it has always been like that, and only an illusion dropped that has never really been the case, only appeared so. Then it gets relaxed again... But can feel like the Boogeyman being real in the beginning. Enlightenment is realizing the separate self (the appearance/Gestalt of its merely arising thoughts/feelings/sensations and so on) doesn't exist (the "Horror-Moment" for some) NEVER EXISTED (the big relieve of realizing the mistaken identity of the past), and WILL never (really) exist the Real Oneself/Reality will never get confused or suffer, because its fully empty Infinite Consciousness/NOTHINGNESS/Reality without any specific qualities, but with the potential for awareness if a world-appearance is imagined within it) , but only can contain confusion/suffering arisings of a newly imagined separate self). then, all is good.... and great fun to look forward Francis Lucille: Ignorance is only a bad idea from the perspective of Ignorance. Infinite Consciousness/Reality doesn't worry/suffer. and all of that is impossible to fully get before the Gateless Gate, pretty clear afterwards... PSPS: When it feels like Horror: Good, one is getting closer Further, Jed McKenna-style! And when there is never a fear-reaction when beginning to intuit deeper the rediscovered identity, then its probably not the real thing.

@Breakingthewall I applaud you for your courage to completely give in. I think the terror might have to do with the ego fearing its own death. Or you have lost your identification with the ego before that experience and I am wrong to assume that? I can relate to the terror of god. Sometimes I have this LSD flashbacks with amazing visuals which are stronger then an LSD trip even, and so I just lie on my bed and look at this visual. I was hearing a lot of voices in my head but it always came to the point where they where saying : "This is you, you are god" I was trapped in the ego then and was thinking it is the ego that is god and being very confused and disoriented. And it had a terrifying quality. My consciousness dial was cranked up to a million and a half and I felt like I was loosing it. Everything makes sense now , but then it did not. I have never taken 5 meo only LSD and DMT so I might not have felt the same infinite terror. But god is so big its terrifying. And so Loving it hurts. I literally don't know how my nerves are taking this amounts of bliss without getting fried. But the stillness is even better than the bliss. Namaste

To anyone who have done MDMA and knows what bliss feels like its like that but from a real cause. It feels too good to be true. To be honest. I remember myself on MDMA laying back on a wood log and saying to my friend: "Why is it not the natural state of our existence?" Now it is the case. It's worth it. I can write 100 more lines and it wont describe how worth it it is. For your effort you will be rewarded with the most amazing feeling in the world. It feels like I've been going around all my life carrying two 10 kilo pieces of iron in each hand. And now I've suddenly released them. Everything is easy for god. I wont go beating around the bush: God is your true nature. This heavy pieces of iron in each hand, is the ego. Release him. And you enter heaven. The door was always wide open. You just had to have the vision to go through. And I applaud you for that. Each and every one deserves it. Everyone will be awake at the end. Not a single entity left behind. Namaste

Yes, exactly. And suffering keeps the show going. Chasing for experiences to alleviate the discontent one is having, only to later find out that the sought experiences only temporally eased the discontent. Not that the separate self arisings suddenly just pause, and one contemplates what actually is. . Suffering, or discontent, is a major and necessary building block of the illusion and show of this Lila. By the way, Dukha in Buddhism, which is often falsly translated as suffering, means literally "unsatisfactoriness", exactly as you desribe. No experience that is chased brings final relief of this fundamental building block of the separate self, its fundamental unsatisfactoriness. One could even write "separate self arisings"="unsatisfactoriness". Not completely, but concerning the effect to a large part. At least my observation and experience. Only when resting in ones True Being is this discontent/suffering removed, with bliss from ones core that is stronger and replaces the discontent. "Bliss replaces misery", as a Tibetan quote in "Pointing out the Great Way, Brown" says,. When one can sit down, rest in ones True Core, get the bliss flowing, and have no problem sitting there a few hours, then one actually has achieved a major part of the path. And it is not that one has to force onself to do that. I wouldn't write it if I would not know from my own experience that this is possible. Selling Water by the River

Long story short: I had similiar experiences like you describe concering meditation ("Basically it has done exactly what "sitting in silence" sounds like it would do: Just sit there like an idiot waiting for something to happen that never does."). Then I read a lot about many different meditation system and traditions, hundreds of books. At some point, I found what changed everything for me: Pointing out the Great Way, Brown. A "synthetic summary" of the Mahamudra-system, from Daniel P. Brown, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School, who read the texts in their original language. He also wrote his dissertation about the deep structure similiarities (and differences) of the main meditation systems of Tibetan Buddhism (Mahamudra), Theravada, and Yoga (Yoga Sutras of Patanjali). Then I did that for over a decade, read the book and its main passages probably somehting like 10 times plus (and many other Mahamudra/Dozgchen books), understood the more sophisticated parts (Stage 3, Yoga of One Taste, or of the simultaneous/nondual mind and Stage 4, Nonmeditation-Yoga, getting rid of the last remnants of the separate self) after getting substantial practice (certain part on the pillow, large part off the pillow in daily life whenever I didn't to fully concentrate for example on attention-capturing analytic tasks. So most of the day it was possible doing that). That got the meditation/mindfulness going during most of the day. All of that together created enough momentum to get something which feels like the Endohuasca-system going, when things got nondual, empty, groundless, appearances nondual and not so solid&"out there" but more lucid/mere appearance, and a lot of bliss. My theory is that when enough momentum is there (and the separate self arisings got seen through/transcended sufficienlty), something like this starts: https://dmtquest.org/endohuasca-magic/ . At least feels like this. Triggered by meditation. But I would not have needed that decade, maybe a few years if done with good coaching. I agree with you that you need massive momentum. What happens when "Just sit there like an idiot waiting for something to happen that never does." is orders of magnitude lower than having "ego destroyed by something serious, like a release dose of toad". Problem with only tripping instead of also meditating is that: Its not permanent, and significant structures of the separte self remain not transcended (although very subtle ones, you don't see and transcend these during the trip, however much one thinks that one has done so). which can (but doesn't have to) result in a pretty interesting and funny Narcissm-Show of a separate-self/Ego still well and alived, confusing separate self/ego remains with the Totality/God. Shortform something like: "Psychiatrist: I don't know your problem yet, so so its best when you start right from the beginning. Patient: In the beginning, I created the heavens and the earth." It can also end in the more humble version of not getting rid of the usual suffering cycles of the separate-self/ego chasing for experiences that promise to mitigate the discontent, but never permanently and fully deliver. If the ego elements/separate self elements kicks in later when sobre, they have not been transcended. That is what good and efficient meditation, done over a long time, can do: Get the separate self arisings out of the way that block ones reckognition of ones True nature. That consists mainly of two parts: the former subject (separate self), that is finally realized as Nothingness/Infinite Empty Consciousness in which everything arises, including the former object "external world", which appeared as solid&out there (so not nondual), which finally becomes nondual and mere appearance/illusion/imagined. Short form: We are that reality. When you understand this, you see that you are nothing, and being nothing, you are everything. That is all. Kalu Rinpoche When you have that in daily life, the bliss that belongs to the package of the True Self gets delivered on top. Because without bliss, the normal cycle of suffering and chasing experiences to ease that discontent/suffering continues. That is pretty much the core of the separate self, the happy merry-go-round of chasing some experiences that never finally fulfills. And to conclude: Yes, I know IT is all nondual, infinite, imagined illusion, and so on and so on. But to get there, at least I prefer it to describe it in this way, using relative language (which by definition is based on duality). Why? Because its the only way to communicate, and something like that written above would have helped me tremendously 5 or 10 years ago. But everbody is different. If it doesn't help the one reading this, please be so kind to consider it as a buffet where you can take what you want and ignore the rest, and please do the Black Eyed Peas "Where is the love" video instead of the Bear move of the videos in the signature, or "The last duel of buster scruggs". Namaste! And of course (if you are so inclined) use psychedelics, for getting previews, getting a feel what its all about, and to blast some walls that show up on the way. I have written extensively about these topics in my previous posts. If you are so inclined, please check them for more details. All of that is just based on my experience and observations, and reading about past and historic cases. Maybe you find it helpful, or at least as an additional perspective. All the best on your journey. Bon voyage! Selling Water by the River

Because what continues after the moment of death is again relative appearance, a "newly" imagined visual field, arisings in the opening of Absolute Reality that you are. The karmic tendencies of your current mind-stream, which aggregate and constitute your Soul that passes from life to life, have not been enlightened before you committ suicide. You have not stabilized your True Nondual Nature yet. Else, you normally wouldn't commit suicide, because it is your creation, and you would life the bliss/love flowing from your own True Core. All of that (Soul, this world, the Bardo afterwards, any other manifestation) is relative manifestation happening in the Absolute Reality/Nothingness that You really are. So it doesn't really exist, but appears to do so. And how much that can hurt (appearing to do so), one knows probably quite well enough from ones current life to take it serious, even if its essence is only Nothingness/Absolute Reality. But if your tendencies/Karma/Souls have not developed in this life to see through the illusion, that will come back again in the next life. Although my view is higher than the sky, My respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour. – Padmasambhava And if you kill yourself while your soul still gravitates in the illusion of separation/suffering right now, why should it be different in the existence that reappears after death? The True You will still be there, but the relative mindstream of the reconstituting separate-self will not get any wiser doing stupid things (suicide). So you if you are not going to finish second class because you drop out of school, you are not going to be put into third grade. And how much fun second grade was in that case if you drop out of school you know quite well... And of course dying and approaching the Absolute/Clear Light of Death feels wonderful, like Infinite Love. You can have that experience also while alive with Nirvikalpa. Or drop some Psychedelics/5-MeO. See also all the Near Death Experiences. But when you come out of these states again, the whole enchilada of states manifests again backwards. A similiar process happens in the Dying process after having experiences to so called "Clear Light of Absolute Reality". Nothingness but with a certain afterglow/"knowledge/acess" still available after the experience and while having it, although there is no more duality. As for example the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bardo_Thodol , The Tibetan Book of the Dead After having falling out from the Absolute/Clear Light of Absolute Reality/Nothingness, the not so funny stages of the reincarnation-process start, and since you are not familiar with these states/bardos, "relative you" gets frightened/not so infinite loving again... and then after suicide going back to second grade again, to finish the class, so to say. Don't worry, nobody gets lost. All make to the finish line at some point. Since you can't loose your true nature. And I would recommend not walking out of school (suicide), not making second grade, and repeating that 20 times. But of course, its a free country, and the point of the ride is the ride. If you want to repeat it 20 times, nothing will stop you. But why knowingly "shoot yourself in the foot", resisting your own manifestation/show, think yourself of clever and shoot yourself, and thinking that ends school and you go directly to Infinite Love permanently? And I honestly think Leo should add to "Death is Infinite Love"-statements something like: Only in the first stages of the dying process if you have not stabilized this love on a permanent basis before death/suicide, including experiencing Absolute Reality/True You on a constant basis. What follows afterwards experiencing the Absolute/Clear Light of Death in the dying process can be a lot less than Infinite Love. Like in, for example right here and now, depending on the mindstream. Any fool can read anything to the statement of "Death is Infinite Love", and aim unknowingly directly for repating 2nd class 20 times+, thinking he has graduated PhD in "Infinite Love ever after". Karma/Cause-Effect also holds for Leo & your forum & teaching, and having a track-record of (unnecessary) suicides on this board, is... -fill in the blanks of your liking-. In my opinion less than smart-as-can-be. Anyways, as always, bon voyage to all of you! Respectfully Yours Selling Water by the River