Javfly33

Ketamine is not the best drug to do in a regular manner, it can be both neuro and physically toxic, although they are definitely worse things out there. Keep it occasional, if you start notice you're using regularly to get results meditating cut it off. It's safe use is for occasional trips like psychedelics.

@LfcCharlie4 Yes, I do. But I resorted to Spirituality because basic self help didn't work. I will read some more books in a serious manner , in that sense thanks good advice. Diet is great. Social life none, but this it's because it's related with my anxiety. I call it anxiety to call it something. It just is a deep sense of unworthiness that no matter how much I get better it seems its still there and "resucitates". My only hope was/is Psychedelics but I can't fucking make myself to take Enough so they could actually heal me.

I've done. And for sure I contemplate visiting another. But my problem is deep, it doesn't get solved with some therapy.

What can you do? When I mean detaching I mean accepting, not evading. I mean there's no evasion anymore but I can't seem to be able to solve them. In the last 6 years I have done signficant work but the root problem is still there. So I'm basically out of solutions or ideas .

@dimitri Man I don't know. I completely understand where your coming from. My life problems are an ILLUSION. Yet my anxiety and overall root problem (imaginary and maintained by believing myself I am an identity/ ego, I know) is still in my life 6 years later. I mean I could say life is getting better but today I had some suicide thoughts. I wouldn't consider I am in a very bad place in life, because I have SOME wisdow that I am not really the one who is suffering (I can detach myself from it still() but honestly my ego/avatar is not all right. So I am feeling in anytime it can "explode". I don't how., I hope is for the good. I could use some "relative* advice in regards to the avatar.

I am not sure what the fuck is going on lately . Can't handle my life anymore so I take refuge in the present moment. Seems my fuck up life is forcing to surrender myself finally. I hope I am done soon or maybe do Bufo alvarius in the Mountains soon if I make it alive to the last week of july

I am not sure what you mean about the first question. About the second question: Freedom

My whole life dissappears. Even if it's an illusion is ALL I have had.

Have you tried therapy?

@WelcometoReality I can relate to that lol... I am in the process of working it through .... Any advice?

@Serotoninluv Exactly, there are a lot of attachments that are part of the beauty of life that also will be gone. That is also heart breaking as fuck. So there's something.

They say Enlightement ends suffering and that's why most people pursuit. But Enlightement also means you die. The present moment stays, you die. So you really don't gain anything. You might trascend suffering but in exchange you completely die, I am starting to think it's not such a great deal. You have to surrender your will, your desires, your selfishness, your identity, your stories, and your lies, your petty pleasures. And in exchange I'll get absolutely nothing. Just being The Present Moment.

It's milligrams! Not micrograms! 🙃

Wow, I've tried that but you know it seems too good to be true. Like it truly feels like freedom, when I let go that "there is a problem" and instead I 'give it to God'. Feels good, again, like freedom. But this freedom feels alien too, like "this couldn't be this easier, right?" so I usually end up going back to the same thought stories.

Exactly. The false self assumes that an object corresponds with a thought... Yet the object is always already there without any thoughts... So THIS is always prior to any stories of the false self. This means Such Unconditional Freedom as you said, that can't never really be touched or corrupted 😱