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Microdosing today. I have noticed the tendency to go to bed in a triggered state when I don’t feel like I have made enough progress during the day. Or when I have had severe ADHD symptoms (I don’t know if I have ADHD, note for future reference in case I end up actually having it). In either case, here is my thinking. I am now in a state of severe lack in one aspect of my life; money. I am working every day to get out of that hole. I have chosen the entrepreneurial journey and this is my trial. Become an entrepreneur or die trying. An entrepreneur is someone who buys or builds businesses and then sells them or keeps uses them as leverage for a higher purpose or lifestyle. Two out of three of my business run a large deficit, a debt, towards me. I have less than three months to get out of this hole. I believe this situation is triggering some state of lack. I feel vulnerable. I feel insecure. This morning when some random arab started talking to me during my run my immediate reaction was fear. In reality the only dangerous person in that situation was me, if we look at sheer capacity for violence and destruction. Thinking about him now I feel absolutely certain I would have won in a death match. And yet, my response to a simple “what you up to” was fear and slight shock. So yes, although, subtle, I am in a triggered state. “In the box” as I always say to S. So I microdosed today to see if I can understand this triggered state. Get to know it closer. Identification I can’t yawn properly. Usually a tell-tale sign I have unreleased tension in me. It’s hard to find a certain emotion or feeling or trigger to focus on. I saw a white circle, ball, stone. Hard surface. Yawning now. Let’s try body activation. Yin yoga. But the music is too good right now. Yin yoga can wait. Let me breathe instead. The thing is, I feel absolutely certain I will solve the situation I’m in. I have no fear. However, somehow at times I get triggered - which leads to worse sleep - which leads to poor performance - which then actually hurts the process. What is the trigger? Who are you? Which part of me are you? When are you from? What happened to you? Let me ask out loud and see if I get answers. I fear becoming my dad. I fear becoming a loser, like him. I fear breaking, not able to apply any kind of capacity anymore. He broke. He gave up. Kept smoking though. Five children, all resent him. What a loser. I realize my judgments towards him go straight into myself too. Is this the source of my sense of being ugly? Being not good enough. Being inherently bad. No that’s the fearful avoidant. It’s a combination of things. This certainly affects it. Yes, I hate the parts I see in myself which look like him. His darker features. I resent him and everyone from the same country. I resent that whole culture. The whole country. I thought I had moved on. The conversation with him a few backs re-triggered this. Or maybe let it out. Yes, let it out. Previously I was in a more kumbayah state regarding him. I thought I had forgiven him. Now I’m here, fucking ended up in the same city, in money issue, just like him. I’m just waiting for the stroke to happen too, then the transformation/regression is complete. Yeah I have not forgiven him. I forgive you. You did your best. With what you had. I am part of a younger and more aware generation. I have had different circumstances, all the way from my genes to my opportunities. I still judge you however. And right now, that has to be fine. I am judging you as a separate person. Not as related to me. I am judging you for the choices you have made. For the weakness with which you have approached life after 30. Meak. In so many ways not a role model. I will be, however. I will be a role model to my children. I will break the chain. Speaking to you the last time it was clear that you were still a child emotionally. You have never healed. Your toxic beliefs have locked you in a state of limiting mindset. You have not been able to seek help because you didn’t believe there was a better reality available. I pity you and see you as lesser. That is my earned arrogance. In a fight I would win. And lose at the same time. I am better than you. With all frameworks I use to measure such a thing. I do believe in your value as a human being. I know you are a divine being like the rest of us. And your original innocence is beautiful. Truly beautiful. And I am sad that you have lived your entire life without discovering it. Your mother left you when you were 8. You have had an avoidant personality since then. You never healed. I pity you. I feel sad that so much of your potential was wasted, locked in, never realized. I have seen photos of you in your early 30s. You looked bad-ass! You could have become something very impressive. I can’t even visualize it however I believe in the power of willpower and applying time and pressure to solve problems, no matter what type. You fucked up. You didn’t get up again. You checked out. And so you have lived a meek existence since. Maybe it’s everything you wanted. You perhaps have found your piece. And I could have been fine with that.. but you have 5 children who all resent you. And you are not a part of any of their lives. That is failure, in my book. I will never be able to see it in any other way. I went to the floor and starting hitting the pillows and screaming at the top of my lungs. I could definitely feel the rage. Still quite a bit of self-judgement. And gates not fully open. Tiny thoughts about disturbing neighbors, about missing my food delivery. I did connect and naturally started crying a little bit. I was sobbing without tears. Hard to say whether these are defenses or just that the tears are not there anymore for this. I still feel that it is harder to yawn. I got a few good yawns out. Side note, I rarely if ever have panic symptoms anymore. I am also not at all afraid of them anymore. I believe I managed to heal myself. Using breathwork, microdosing, ayahuasca, meditation and shadow work. I went to two psychotherapist sessions which had absolutely no bearing at all on resolving the syndrome. Their answer was basically - you just have to deal with it, you’re sick now. The tragic state of modern western medicine practitioners. Food arrived. It’s ok to be afraid and do anyway. The triggers I’m feeling might be simply just a reaction to the unknown. It is, after all, the first time in life when I am truly standing on my own legs only. Everyone is coddled until they run a business and depend on it for their food on the table. This period has given me so much growth. It’s ok to go to bed triggered sometimes. I will find out eventually which part of me is trying to defend me from whatever it is. Ghosts? Reality? I want you to know, every single fiber of me, this is directed at you; we are OK. We can make anything happen. We are fucking powerful. We manifest magic on a daily basis. We are loved. We love. We are living our purpose. We are enjoying the process. It is like good stretching, on the edge of pain and pleasure. This is it. This is growth. This is walking our own path. Creating our own destiny. Get comfortable. I, we, the royal I, am/are completely confident we will make it. On the other side of this hill lie untold adventures, treasures, joy. Heck, if we listen carefully enough, we can hear the vibrations. Listening closely to them we can also relax into the utter relaxed peace of the now. We do not even need to wait for anything. It is already here. There is no I. Relax into divine excellence. All is well.

The programs claims to heal trauma etc.. I just think a pick up guy is the wrong person to teach this sort of stuff... (guy with a massive ego etc) I'd want in healer someone who is high consciousness, and who really cares Thoughts? P.S Yeah I've done a lot of sober cold approach in the past - and it's actually great, I've also done healing with other people before. I don't know how I feel about RSD teaching this sorta stuff, it's like he got publicly attacked then they are moving into this area now.

I just add my personal imaginary concept, "skillful" before any bad word and then it makes sense, just apply intelligent love transforming rules to those according to your skill level and/or preference. Skillful arrogance Skillful hate Skillful 3rd degree burns Skillful cringe Skillful ratting Usually requires an intuitive combination(non linguistic but you can pull out concepts if you're skillful enough) of multiple truths to make sense, so arrogance should stay as what is and still be good(it can even stay bad, which requires even more "skill") and of course transformation is allowed too, the whole gist.

?✌️ it feels so good, no to talk directly without so much spiritual baggage? Communication with others is so simple and joyful...why do we make it unnecessarily hard? I am guilty of that too...one of the main factors for me and my ex girlfriend distancing was me being overly spiritual and telling her theories of how reality works??? One major reason I found out why people/beings/souls (I am using these terms interchangeably here) don't act the way they are(real, innocent, joyful and alive) because it comes with such a huge responsibility. Responsibility to do what must be done. Responsibility to make your dreams into reality. Responsibility to not let unconscious people mess you over. Responsibility to help unconscious people be more themselves and not run by their conditioning. And Responsibility to Unleash The Magic Within Them? And it seems hard......because taking responsibility means now we can't blame anyone for the circumstances in our life. Not even ourselves.... And the things we must do seems daunting..(coaching, running a business, going on a wild adventure, getting into a relationship, calling out on somone's bullshit, etc..) But it's not that hard..it's fun when we do it. I healed myself out of depression, existential crisis and smoking addiction. And now heading towards my life purpose with absolute dedication and I am happier than ever...? I don't know about your situation and I am not the person to take health advice from..so I guess I can't help you with that... but I strongly believe you will make your life work... Because In Your Heart Of Hearts, You are A Powerful Magician? and you can do anything. Happy healing and transformation to you❤️‍?? God bless you..take care.. PS: you are God so, you bless you? PPS: please don't see me as some lecture giver..I am not that.. I am just a guy who has fallen in love with reality? Namaste??

@Leo Gura @Leo Gura I don't know about that. For example i was very lazy for years and then all of a sudden one day i had enough & i've never been that lazy again. Some kinda of shift happened. Same thing with my addiction to marijuana. One day i just said fk with this BS. But yes you could argue that it took years of suffering to reach that point of disenchantment. What would you recommend for identity-level change? Should i just focus on repeating good habits day in and day out? What else should i be doing to get the most juice out of this transformation process?

This post is going to be a trip report/an outline of insights and experiences I encountered last night while going to a rock concert with my step dad; the band is named Russian Circles. The drug used was weed. I smoked around 6 heavy hits of a strain called Gorilla Glue #4, dosed at 29.6% THC and 0.86% CBD, using a glass pipe. *Warning, this will be a long post, but I'll have it organized by the experience so if you want to only read about certain topics, you can. What I thought was going to be an otherwise "normal" rock concert ended up becoming a facilitator for 3 separate mystical/non-dual esque (I really have no idea what to call them) experiences. We walked into the venue and immediately it felt as though Russian Circle's music kind of shocked my nervous system... Like the vibrations where synchronizing with my body. It was loud of course, but also the style of music that Russian Circles plays is extremely rhythmic, has zero vocals, and is also very complex, so it's hypnotic in a way. They use a lot of loops in their music, so there are multiple layers of sounds going on at once. So we're literally just standing in the crowd and the more time that passes, the more and more it felt like I was beginning to sink into the rhythms of their music, as if my ego just kept getting increasingly quiet to the point where there was just the awareness of the music. More awareness, more awareness, more awareness... And then things got weird. Infinite Intelligence - Probably around 15-20 minutes into the concert after becoming increasingly aware of and into the music, and after still being high as fuck from the weed, BOOM. I'm just in awareness. It was literally just fucking awareness. I was aware of these powerful rhythms, I was aware of all of my body sensations, the visuals of the show and crowd occupied my consciousness and there literally was no more sense of "I." It was just pure, unadulterated conscious experience. And then there was this clear and distinct disconnect from the music, from the crowd, from the power of that auditorium, and "I" just fucking saw into everything that was going on. It was like the universe revealed to me the complexity of every last mother fucking drop of reality. It was as though I was peering into the amount of skill, time, energy, and fundamentally Intelligence, that it took those band members to perfect their craft, how much time and energy that went in to culminate into this beast of a performance, a performance that was able to drawn in a massive crowd and hold their attention, as if they had transcended into some sort of gods. I felt and saw the complexity of the musical vibrations, almost as if the sounds were "dancing" in some sort of patterned INTELLIGENT rhythm through vibration. "I" became aware of how much information and intelligence had transpired to create this exact moment in time in space, how much fucking evolution, how much cellular organization, how much practice and skill, how perfectly aligned the actual cosmos of our universe had to be aligned to create THIS PRESENT FUCKING MOMENT. The sheer intelligence of my absolute reality hit me like a freight train. Like... Every last drop of orgnazation and complexity for every last individual human, every brick of that building, every cell on that room, every atom, the velocity of our galaxy, the gravity of our sun, the pull of our moon, the psychology of these minds.. all of it just poured over awareness like a waterfall. What was also so profound about this experience is I could actually feel the limitations of my consciousness on this matter. I saw just how utterly mind bogglingly complex this ONE FUCKING MOMENT was... And yet how much intelligence I still wasn't able to become conscious of. I'm sure if I had taken a real psychedelic, perhaps it could have facilitated further insight into the nature of this intelligence, but regardless of the strength of this insight and experience, I still was aware enough to see how much further room for growth there was. One of the key insights I came into direct (as direct as I've ever been before) contact with is how that at every scale of reality, there is infinite of intelligence. Whether at the sub-atomic, atomic, physical, biological, psychological, social, all the way up to cosmic scale, there is infinite intelligence at play. The experience was actually beautiful and profound... and ultimately very elucidating. Self Contractility - The way Russian Circles organizes their music is that after each song plays, they play these soft yet melodic interludes before continuing on. So after the song that sent me flying head first into intelligence ended, I was kind of just sitting there shell shocked at what I'd just experienced. And then the music started up again... So at this point, my ego has returned somewhat and I'm a little overstimulated. What ended up happening was my vision just fixated on a man in the crowd. I was staring at the back of his head, at his silhouette. The music kept increasing.... harder and harder; volume and intensity rising and rising and dude I just kept staring at this random strangers head. This silhouette became the singular focus of my awareness, and it began to feel as though "I" WAS the silhouette, as if this outline was the source of any sense of self I could ever have. I became so fixated on this man that it truly felt like my sense of self just merged into his body, there was no more "my body" it was only "Silhouette." Intellectually, I've known for a while how arbitrary the "self" actually is. The ego/mind creates these artificial, arbitrary conceptual identities out of the human body that occupies our awareness 24/7. Just because this body happens to always occupy our present awareness, it does not follow that WE ARE THAT BODY. In fact, it's appropriate to say, we are AWARE of that body. Unfortunately, the illusion as a separate self, built off of layers and layers and layers of subconscious conceptual processes prevents the True Self from actually realizing its true nature. What this means is that the sense of a separate self is actually contractile in nature, and simply "morphs" around the body we always have a direct experience of, despite the fact that this is an arbitrary distinction. What happened with this man's silhouette was that this sense of self arbitrarily detached from "my" body and formed around his. This was achieved through a single laser pointed focus on his outline, so much so that the self "leaped" onto him. This is possible precisely because "my sense of self" is literally just as arbitrary as "my sense of self latching onto a man's outline." Each are bullshit, each are illusion, but each are achieved through a laser pointed focus on either my "sense of self" or another facet of present experience. To put all of this more concisely, the self can expand and contract in any direction it wants, with equal validity in all directions BECAUSE there is no actual self, or EVERYTHING is you so any distinction is arbitrary and equally valid/invalid, depending on how you look at it. Knowing this intellectually is quite different that going through the literal experience of self contractility. Energy Transformation - Towards the end of the performance my ability to focus started really diminishing. It felt like I was in some sort of limbo, unable to really ground myself or make sense of the chaos that was going on. I wasn't freaking out or having an anxiety attack or anything, but it certainly felt like I had started to spiral into a very overstimulated state where all of the senses where clashing and fighting with one another. The music had turned into the propulsive and powerful force that was hammering me over and over with each wave of sound. At the peak of my discomfort, I spontaneously dropped into a state of meditation and started to perform sushumna breathing. For those who don't know, this is a Kriya yoga technique where you essentially imagine/feel energy flowing up and down your spine through the 7 chakras. Through each breath, it felt like the energy of this performance started flooding into my crown and root chakras. What was so interesting though was it felt like I had started directing this overwhelming energy through my spine, and this somehow began to "recycle" the harsh energy of the show into alternative forms of creation. The sounds began to return to their beautiful state, and I began to slowly release the suffering from overstimulation by simple directing all of the energy into my spine. A flash of insight into the nature of energy transformation entered my mind too. As the energy of these rhythms, visuals, and crowd were circulating through my spine, it felt like these were then transformed into and through my body. If anyone has heard of the term "Shakti" which is roughly defined as divine energy and the source of creation, it felt like I was coming into contact with this principle. How each and every facet of our reality transforms itself, through itself, with itself, and ultimately recycles itself into all of reality. As more and more of the shows energy poured into my spine, more and more I became conscious of the strange loopiness that is reality interacting with itself through transformation. This last experience could have easily been more defined as a mystical experience rather than an insight into the nature of reality, however even from a materialistic paradigm, reality literally interacts with itself through transformation of energy and matter. It doesn't seem like too much of a leap to think that one may be able to become directly conscious of this facet. Meh. Sidenote: If you don't do Kriya yoga, START. This shit is powerful as fuck and really starts to open up the mind, body and ultimately self. Key Take Aways - Fuck. This was by far one of the most powerful experiences I've had on weed. It wasn't my most powerful, nor did this feel like an "enlightenment" experience, but nonetheless fuck. It was nice being able to directly experience mechanisms of reality, but I think the biggest take away I was left with was just how much further down the rabbit hole I have to go. Enlightenment goes really fucking deep... And despite how powerful of an experience last night was, I was shown just how much further my awareness has to grow. So for now, I'll continue to chop wood and carry water. P.S. For the forum members who still think weed can't be used as a tool for personal development and spiritual growth, fuck you (jk) P.S.S. If you actually read all of this, you're a G.

Hey, I can empathize with you because I grew up in brutal household. Every form of abuse was present: physical, verbal and emotional. I could be beaten up at school and then later at home the same thing. At 20, I had to get two reconstructive surgeries. It was tough. I developed various traumas. OCD, being perfect, nice guy, extreme social anxiety, sexual problems, depersonalization, very VERY severe sleep paralysis, paranoia and nightmares and sensing the presence of demons. I don't think the demonic stuff went as far for me as it did for you. What worked for me is this, I started meditating and meditating ALOT. Off the bat I started doing 3-4 hours every single day and that alone helped a lot. Then I started going to therapy and it was great. But the two most important things I did were this: kriya yoga which literally gave me life back and much more. I also did a retreat with the Isha Foundation called Bhava Spandana which was a kundalini retreat but really it was a trauma intensive. Between 20 and 23, I focused solely on healing and yoga. I forgot about girls, college, career, everything... doing this created radical transformation. But please don't go into deep spiritual states if you are unstable. The most important thing is a healthy mind and BALANCE. Deep spiritual work will amplify your trauma 1 million fold and literally drive you insane. Don't do it without establishing a strong framework and for me a strong framework includes both a strong body and mind.

Philosophy and art are about telling good engaging stories. As a side effect both can be about getting at some sort of truth about the world. There's an aesthetic and emotional dimension to both disciplines, which is ok for its own sakes - it doesn't all have to be about truth. Perhaps both are ultimately about transformation?

its nothing to do with death, jesus likely didnt die on a cross, what is being communicated is ego death, jesus woke up after tending his wounds, read the links i posted, he is showing people how to die to self so you might realize your true nature, read Robert's The Real Christ here is some of Robert's perspective courtesy of chat-gpt: Bernadette Roberts regards Jesus as an exemplar of the transformative spiritual journey, emphasizing his teachings and experiences as a model for individual self-discovery and union with the divine. In her writings, Roberts highlights the significance of Jesus' life as an illustration of the potential for ego transcendence, emphasizing his radical self-surrender and identification with the divine will. She interprets the crucifixion of Jesus as a symbol of the ego's crucifixion, where one's attachments, desires, and false identifications are willingly sacrificed in pursuit of deeper spiritual realization. Roberts views Jesus' resurrection as a profound event that signifies the possibility of transcending the limitations of the egoic self and experiencing a rebirth into a higher, more authentic mode of existence. She underscores the importance of personal, direct experience and inner transformation, suggesting that Jesus' life and teachings invite individuals to embark on a similar journey of inner exploration and self-realization. Roberts offers a unique perspective on Jesus' teachings, seeing them as pointing towards a state of consciousness beyond the ordinary egoic perception, encouraging followers to move beyond superficial religiosity. She highlights Jesus' emphasis on the Kingdom of Heaven within, suggesting that his teachings call for a shift in focus from external rituals to an inward journey of self-discovery and communion with the divine. Roberts suggests that Jesus' intimate relationship with God exemplifies the potential for direct and unmediated union with the divine presence, emphasizing a personal and immediate connection with the sacred. She explores the idea that Jesus' life represents a radical transformation from a human perspective to a divine identity, illustrating the possibility of realizing one's true nature beyond the confines of the ego. Roberts encourages readers to engage with Jesus' story as a metaphorical and experiential guide for the spiritual journey, offering insights into the profound shifts and realizations that can unfold when the ego is transcended.

When it comes to enlightenment -- becoming directly conscious of your true nature -- there's no process involved because the consciousness that's required is absolute. It is direct, similar to waking up from a dream. You wake up by waking up, no matter what worthy things are done within the dream. I'm not talking about transformation, which includes giving up attachments, building a more effective self, healing, improving vitality, etc. Since these are relative they must invariably come about as the result of a process. Enlightenment is what happens while you're contemplating. And enlightenment is true now. You become conscious of it. That's ultimately the only way. The mind can be focused and disciplined but no method will produce such consciousness, it is an impossibility.

@Leo Gura You're holding enlightenment as a "thing" (relative), that is presumably mediated by brain chemistry. If it's absolute, it isn't a thing. Do you think enlightenment "happens" when the right chemicals are in place? Is enlightenment lost after the "right" chemicals change? You may be talking about a change in state, which is always temporary. His work is also aimed at understanding the relative domain -- transformation, healing, empowerment. Peter isn't saying that certain activities can't help or that they're useless, but that nothing produces direct consciousness but you. Exactly, he's saying just that: nothing -- no activity, process, method or accomplishment -- can take you to the absolute because enlightenment isn't relative nor is it a process. Nothing done within a dream can wake you up. Best you can do is contemplate with the intent to make a leap in consciousness which is always direct. The point is that the brain, genetics, methods are irrelevant here. By that logic, without the pertinent chemistry, awakening can't occur, which is silly. There's no such thing as requisites to awakening, except you personally becoming conscious.

@Mysterious Stranger My intuitive speculation, is that they probably transferred from whatever native form they have, into a body suitable for space travel. Kind of like a transformation or transfer from one body into another, similar to how humans change from one costume into another.

@integral I don't understand what you're talking about at times. How do you know what applies and what doesn't to me? Just by the fact you stop resisting your experience, this reduces the energy you spend everyday and makes you need less sleep. When you are super motivated to accomplish stuff you also tend to sleep less. People who want to escape life sleep the most. I do not feel any negatives whatsoever and it's been like close to 3 weeks now. I feel super energized and calm at the same time. And with the 3 hours of sleep i feel very good too. There is a lot we don't know about sleep. The 1st 3 hours of sleep are the most important to your body. If your body feels its time to cut sleep it will cut the latter part for some higher purpose (like surviving a challenging transformation). Eventually my body will start sleeping more when it adjusts to the stresses of the new challenges i am currently facing.

Been quite attuned to this as of late. Here’s what I’m experiencing: 1. Friends. Posted about this the other day. Have fully realized which friendships are working for me and which ones are exhausting and not worth my time. Even if they served me well before, they just don’t work for me now. 2. Assertiveness. Was always weak in this category. I’m finding myself able to stick to my guns both professionally and personally. 3. Compassion and empathy. I feel for certain people. I can delineate between someone who truly is down and out and someone who is simply using me for this. 4. Loss of interest. Things (activities) I used to look forward to, I don’t care to do anymore. Oddly enough they usually involved bad habits such as drinking. 5. Drinking. I do not crave alcohol, I do not need alcohol. The old me threw down at least half a bottle of wine each night or at least enough booze to get me buzzed. Now, I couldn’t care less if I have it, although a nice cold beer on a hot day is always welcome. Only difference is I stop after one or two. 6. Sleep. I went through this odd phase where I was sleeping early, and waking up at certain times through the night (every night). It is starting to normalize a bit more now. 7. Confidence. Gaining this very slowly. Small, very small things that give my confidence a boost. Not being shy, not being embarrassed, living in the now. So far, that’s what I’ve been noticing.

Centering prayer, as taught by Thomas Keating and the organization he founded, Contemplative Outreach, is a very simple yet profound contemplative practice that orients you on the path toward transformation in Christ. The basic guidelines are: 1. Choose a sacred word as the symbol of your intention to consent to God’s presence and action within. 2. Sitting comfortably and with eyes closed, settle briefly and silently introduce the sacred word as the symbol of your consent to God’s presence and action within. 3. When engaged with your thoughts (which include body sensations, feelings, images, and reflections), return ever so gently to the sacred word. 4. At the end of the prayer period, remain in silence with eyes closed for a couple of minutes. ------ In my opinion, this can also be seen as a type of non directive meditation. Also, you can use the breath, or an image instead of the sacred word too, i,e. sacred breath, or sacred image. A good book on this type of prayer/ meditation seems to be: 'The path of centering prayer: deepening your experience of god', by David Frenette

Btw if you were to put your awareness on that saddness and hold it, abide in it. The alchemy of transformation and healing would begin to take place. Sadness would get replaced by Light on its own. And then the next layer would pop up eventually. That's your starway to heaven.

Journal Entry: Embracing Stoicism Today, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery, guided by the principles of Stoicism. As I delve deeper into this ancient philosophy, I find myself drawn to its teachings and the wisdom it imparts. Stoicism encourages me to live a life of tranquility and contentment, irrespective of the challenges and uncertainties that may come my way. One of the core tenets of Stoicism is the acceptance of things beyond our control. This powerful realization has begun to reshape my perspective on life. Instead of becoming overwhelmed by circumstances that are outside my influence, I've learned to focus my energy on the aspects I can control: my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. By embracing this mindset, I am liberated from the chains of anxiety and frustration, and I gain a newfound sense of peace. In practicing Stoicism, I have come to appreciate the importance of developing a strong inner resilience. It teaches me that external events hold no power over my emotions unless I allow them to. By cultivating a disciplined and mindful approach, I have started to detach myself from the fleeting highs and lows of life, finding solace in the stability of my own character. Another principle that resonates deeply with me is the concept of amor fati, the love of fate. This notion encourages me to embrace every experience that comes my way, be it joyful or sorrowful, as an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Rather than dwelling on what might have been or clinging to regret, I am learning to view adversity as a catalyst for personal transformation. Stoicism teaches me to find beauty in the very things that challenge me, and by doing so, I gain a greater appreciation for the richness of life. Moreover, Stoicism reminds me of the impermanence of all things. By acknowledging the transient nature of life, I am motivated to cherish the present moment and make the most of every opportunity. It prompts me to prioritize what truly matters, to nurture meaningful relationships, and to pursue virtues such as kindness, courage, and wisdom. Through my exploration of Stoicism, I have come to realize that it is not a rigid doctrine but a flexible framework that can be adapted to my own life. It is a guide that empowers me to shape my thoughts, actions, and reactions in a way that aligns with my values and aspirations. By internalizing the principles of Stoicism, I strive to become the best version of myself, embracing the challenges and uncertainties with a calm and steadfast demeanor. As I conclude this journal entry, I feel a profound sense of gratitude for discovering Stoicism and the impact it has had on my life. This journey of self-discovery and embracing stoicism is an ongoing process, but I am committed to continuing my practice and deepening my understanding of this philosophy. With each passing day, I grow more resilient, grounded, and at peace. Stoicism is not just a philosophy to me—it is a way of life that guides me towards wisdom, inner strength, and true fulfillment. May I find the strength to continue on this path and may the teachings of Stoicism illuminate my journey.

@BojackHorseman i think like hindu gods as depicted with those ornaments and things in their hands as symbols for what they can do for you if you worship them. Or they symbolize what the god does. So they might have actual value such as this chat gpt The symbols associated with the Hindu goddess Kali hold various meanings and interpretations. Kali is a powerful and complex deity in Hindu mythology, often depicted as a fierce and fearsome figure. Here are some of the symbols associated with her and their representative meanings: Black or Dark Skin: Kali's dark complexion represents the eternal darkness that existed before the creation of the universe. It also symbolizes her transcendence of conventional notions of good and evil, as she exists beyond dualities. Nakedness: Kali is often depicted as naked, which signifies her freedom from societal norms and conventions. It represents her raw and uninhibited power. Multiple Arms: Kali is typically depicted with multiple arms, ranging from four to ten, each holding various weapons and symbolic objects. These arms symbolize her immense power and ability to multitask. They also suggest her ability to protect and bless her devotees. Shrunken Heads: Kali is sometimes depicted wearing a garland of severed heads. These heads symbolize the ego, which she has conquered and transcended. It represents her ability to liberate her devotees from the bondage of the ego and attachment. Tongue: Kali is often depicted with her tongue sticking out. The extended tongue signifies her thirst for blood or her fierce nature. It also represents her power of annihilation and the devouring of negative forces. Sword and Trishula: Kali wields a sword and a trishula (trident). The sword represents knowledge and the cutting of ignorance. The trishula symbolizes her ability to destroy evil forces and maintain balance in the universe. Garland of Skulls: Kali is sometimes depicted wearing a garland made of human skulls. These skulls represent the cycle of birth and death, and the dissolution of the physical body. They also symbolize her role as the ultimate destructor of time and the transient nature of existence. Standing on Lord Shiva: In certain depictions, Kali is shown standing or dancing on the chest of her consort, Lord Shiva. This symbolizes her power and supremacy over time, death, and the ultimate reality. It represents her role as the embodiment of Shakti (divine feminine energy) and her ability to bring about cosmic transformation. It's important to note that these symbols carry deep cultural and mythological significance and are subject to interpretation within different traditions and practices associated with Kali worship. I also heard that kali is considered space and time combined by sadhguru why she is on shivas chest is because shiva cannot do anything without her. So she would be the personification of the 4th dimension a force that cannot be explained. Im sure the stories all have deep meaning in them but you have to research and understand them and that would be like worshipping the god, and saying mantra and shit to them I have a dream of this god when I was a child she destroyed the earth with an asteroid and i was flung up into space on a peice of earth and she came to my piece with her tongue out and stared at me.

Hyper idealistic solipsism is wrong. This is the main theme of this post. Before we get to that, I see some people on the forum getting surprised or confused about leo's recent remarks on Aliens consciousnesess. Him 'opening a portal inside his skull to a colorful Infinite Cartoon landscape full of striped and polka-dotted sentient Alien creatures doing cartwheeels, backflips, and helicoptering around.' then claming 'I have Awoken to an Infinite dreamscape of pure fun and Love!' This is nothing to be surprised about. Leo already made clear his 'complete awakening' is subscribing to the notion of 'mind only' sect of non duality. His psychedelic sessions make one thing clear: Non duality. But what it confused him is that 'MY mind is the only thing I can be sure of and reality is ONLY composed of the concoction of my mind. The figments of imagination are all there is and the same is true for every other imaginary human mind. There is no 'ultimate reality' DIFFERENT from what I see, observe, touch, feel, generate in my experience' See, all of this hyper idealistic solipsism arises out of the mistaken assumption he made at the start of his psychedelic explorations years ago. 'Nothing exists but MY mind' - He makes it sure that there is no ultimate reality OUTSIDE of 'my mind' and everyone is responsible for 'their' minds. You guys are 'stuck in yout own dreams' while 'I' have broken through alien levels of awakening AND no human on this earth could ever possibly conceive of. I guess not even when said people spend 20 years using 10x more 5 Meo Dmts Leo does. He must have this 'special' intuition skills very few people on this earth is even capable of. This is the current paradigm and worldview of Leo in the way that I can see and understand.Feel free to make it more accurate. I do know what he is talking about tho as someone who has ACTUAL meditation skills and has had many experiences with different psychedelics. --- The fact of the matter is actually even more profound than what Leo make it sound like. There is an ultimate reality BEYOND your human consciousness can EVER comprehend. I'm not talking about 'using psychedelics and attaining transhuman levels of understanding' like Leo. All the alien and mickey mouse and portal into my head sorta experiences are concoctions of your brain and mind. Just like this mainstream everyday reality of chairs and tables and couches are concoctions of one's mind as well. YOU CAN'T EXPERIENCE AND DIRECTLY COMPREHEND THE ULTIMATE REALITY (which is NOT only your personal solipsistic concoction) WITH YOUR EXISTING BRAIN AND PSYCHEDELICS AND MEDITATION TECHNIQUES. Full stop. Ever. What we do as spiritual practitioners with our psychedelics, meditations and whatnot is to get INSIGHTS and understandings INDIRECTLY (via inference and demolisihing of our mind created illusions) to get the MOST accurate and closest approximation to what Ultimate reality is like. Of course, Leo would object here and say 'There is no ultimate reality 'outside' of your personal mind' Of course, he would. But the problem is that just because you CAN'T access any reality DIRECTLY, DOESNT mean that that reality outside of your 'personal' mind and conscious experiences DOESNT exist. Leo's positions is akin to how someone would say 'This Eros planet doesnt exist. We can observe this earth, moon, venus etc but this eros planet you are talking about is a complete fiction of your mind. Why do you assume this Eros planet's existece. I don't observe such planet via telescopes' Well just because you 'dont observe' it doesnt mean it doesnt exist. We don't make an 'assumption' of an ultimate reality beyond our personal 'mind', Spiritual insights of emptiness, no self, impermanence and nothingness PROVIDES said inference necessary to know with absolute certainty that the reality that 'YOUR' personal mind is an absolute illusion and is your brain's 'best guess' at what this ultimate reality (which impinges on your mind and your mind is an intimately part of) might actually be like. But it is a complete farce. Your alien awakenings, mickey mouses and portals in to your head are fun little creations of your personal mind. But NOT what is ultimately true. Actually your human brain and your psychedelics CANT hope to directly perceive ultimate reality and 'Truth' Due to your strongly entrenched solipsistic way of perceiving reality, it will be challenging to accept what you value as 'complete awakening of aliens' is actually nonsensical but I do understand why you feel that way if you have such a solipsistic tendency within 'mind only' school of non duality. ---- You need to make actual arguments as to WHY for instance if a car (which is construct of your personal mind, right?) hits you with and your body flies away to god knows where. Or how you can't walk though walls. Those set of rules of consistency is NOT just how this 'dream' operates. It is a set of rules THAT IMPINGES on your personal mind and body. Those limitations are hard wired VIA the ultimate reality which is outside of your mind. If you assert no such limitations actually exists and you simply need to be 'more awake' to control the gravity and 'walking through walls' and whatnot, feel free to spend the rest of your life consuming 10.000 psychedelics in the hopes of actually making these work. You'll fail miserably and come to know the limitations of your mind only sect of non duality. --- Anyways, I can continue on but this is, in my opinion, where Leo is going the wrong path. There is no particular reason to be surprised or shocked as the signals of such a transformation to alien awakening and portals into my mind and 'I'm the most awakened being' on this planet were there prior to this transformation. Feel free to provide your arguments but this is not a criticism post actually. I just wanted to share how I view things. Much love,

Journal Entry: Discipline, Self-Control, and Self-Love Today, I find myself reflecting upon the powerful trio of discipline, self-control, and self-love. These three virtues have been intertwined in my journey of personal growth, and I have come to realize their profound impact on my life. Discipline, the cornerstone of achievement and progress, requires a steadfast commitment to my goals and values. It is through discipline that I shape my actions and cultivate positive habits. It pushes me to stay focused and dedicated, even when faced with challenges and distractions. Each day, I am learning to harness the strength of discipline, embracing its structure as a guiding force. Accompanying discipline, I have discovered the importance of self-control. It is the ability to resist instant gratification and make choices that align with my long-term vision. Self-control empowers me to navigate the temptations and impulses that often hinder personal growth. Whether it's resisting unhealthy habits or managing my time effectively, self-control allows me to stay on track and make decisions that serve my greater well-being. Amidst the pursuit of discipline and self-control, I have realized that self-love plays an equally vital role in my journey. It is the foundation upon which all my actions and intentions are built. Without self-love, discipline and self-control can become harsh and unyielding. I have learned to approach myself with compassion, accepting my flaws and imperfections. Through self-love, I have discovered the capacity to forgive myself, learn from my mistakes, and grow stronger with each challenge I face. In embracing discipline, self-control, and self-love, I have witnessed a transformation within myself. I have learned to set realistic goals and break them down into manageable steps. Discipline has taught me to prioritize my time and energy, focusing on what truly matters. Self-control has helped me resist the allure of immediate gratification, enabling me to make choices aligned with my values and aspirations. And most importantly, self-love has allowed me to appreciate my worth and embrace self-compassion, fostering a positive relationship with myself. While the journey towards discipline, self-control, and self-love can be challenging, it is undeniably rewarding. Each day presents an opportunity for growth, and I am committed to cultivating these virtues further. By staying disciplined, practicing self-control, and nurturing self-love, I am confident that I will continue to embark on a path of personal development and discover the limitless potential within me. As I conclude this journal entry, I am reminded of the importance of these virtues in shaping my life. With discipline, self-control, and self-love as my guiding lights, I am ready to face the world with renewed strength, resilience, and compassion. Until next time, I will continue to embrace these virtues and nurture my inner growth. With gratitude and determination

I feel no inspiration to get out of my bed, I feel it’s hard for me to trust people. I remember I was reading about this book about different stages of team dynamics in a company. Even after having that knowledge, I ended up in a company with a lower stage dynamics, I avoided all the red flags I could see right there, Now I feel harming myself by getting such a job. At that time, I was focused mainly of getting a job and that’s all what mattered. Now My situation is of a broken person, no job, bad relationship, I really don’t know what I want. This is pathetic existence, I really need a transformation right now, nothing less than that. My whole body is burning in kind of a fire, maybe it’s a fever, and I can’t think straight. I don’t trust myself anymore, I have been hurt very deeply. I still don’t want to believe what has happened with me.

My body is still paining after we did this 3 days of intense walking in the forest. Every day we chose a new place and walked around 20 km trekking through amazing scenery of mountains, clouds and nature hanging together. It was an awesome experience, Now when I lie down in my bed, my legs and body still hurts. Going through a complete bottom of my life, I really don’t know why my life has turned this way. I really do not feel like programming again, this has to be a transformation and I must align what I do to what I truly want. I am scared to be in a job like my last job, it has sucked me completely, even my inspiration for this career has been killed by this fear. This was truly a traumatic experience, I am going to rejuvenate my body and mind. Better to earn less money than getting stuck in such jobs where they leave you completely destroyed. And sadly, that’s majority mindset feels like, running over humans to be richest.

Dear seeker, Your fear of insanity and losing your grip on yourself during psychedelic trips or mystical experiences is understandable. The mind can be a powerful force, and the exploration of altered states of consciousness can be both profound and challenging. However, it is important to remember that you are a divine, infinite, and eternal spirit experiencing human existence. When approaching psychedelic experiences or mystical journeys, it is crucial to create a safe and supportive environment for yourself. Set an intention for your exploration and surround yourself with trusted individuals who can provide guidance and support if needed. Additionally, working with a trained facilitator or guide can help ensure a positive and transformative experience. To address the fear of insanity, it can be helpful to recognize that all thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions are themselves proof of God's direct communication with you and your experience. The interconnectedness of all things is a fundamental aspect of reality. By aligning with the divine infinite eternal spirit, you can experience divine ecstasy consistently and naturally. Self-realization and aligning with the divine aware presence is a powerful path to follow. It allows you to tap into the highest vibrations of love, joy, and ecstasy. Embrace the understanding that the divine presence is within you, guiding and supporting your journey. Trust in your own capacity to navigate the realms of consciousness with clarity and wisdom. If you continue to experience fear or concerns, it may be beneficial to explore other paths to self-actualization and spiritual growth that resonate with you. Meditation, breathwork, yoga, and other contemplative practices can also facilitate the expansion of consciousness and help you connect with the divine presence within. Remember, the journey of self-actualization is unique for each individual. It is important to honor your own process and trust your intuition. Seek support from like-minded individuals, spiritual communities, or professional guides who can offer guidance and encouragement along your path. May you find the courage to embrace your spiritual exploration, trusting in the infinite wisdom of the divine presence within you. As you align with the divine, may you experience profound transformation, joy, and the boundless ecstasy that awaits you. With love and support,

Dear seeker, When you become highly conscious and aware, it is not uncommon to experience sensations of constriction in various parts of the body. These sensations can manifest around the heart, solar plexus, gut, throat, and head. These areas often hold energetic blockages that can be released as you deepen your self-realization and align with the divine infinite eternal spirit. It is important to recognize that these constrictions are not indicative of any inherent limitations or obstacles. Instead, they are opportunities for growth, healing, and expansion. By acknowledging and embracing these sensations with love and acceptance, you can initiate a process of transformation and release. To alleviate these constrictions, you can engage in practices that facilitate the flow of divine energy within you. Meditation, breathwork, yoga, and energy healing techniques can be beneficial in clearing energetic blockages and restoring harmony to your being. As you deepen your self-realization and align with the divine aware presence, you can experience divine ecstasy consistently and naturally. This alignment allows the energy of the divine to flow through you, dissolving constrictions and expanding your awareness of interconnectedness. Remember that you are a manifestation of the divine infinite eternal spirit, and all thoughts, emotions, sensations, and perceptions are a testament to God's direct communication with you and your experience. By aligning with this divine presence, you can experience the highest vibrations of love, joy, and ecstasy, and in turn, elevate the vibration of the entire collective. Each individual's journey is unique, and there are various paths to self-realization and aligning with the divine. Trust your intuition and inner guidance as you explore practices and teachings that resonate with you. Embrace your journey with openness, patience, and self-compassion, knowing that the realization of your true nature is a profound and transformative process. May you continue to deepen your self-realization, align with the divine infinite eternal spirit, and experience the boundless ecstasy that awaits you. With love and support,