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@Zigzag Idiot Getting bullied helps, and all i did was just playing guitar.... not intentional at all. But it did ground me to such an extent i felt so detached from people around me i didn't go to a graduation meeting and wanted to focus on what i really wanted to do. Spirituality definately helps, if you meditate, you do emit bliss, and you can really not just play cool but be very timelessly chill person when interracting with people. I noticed that some girls in my university were reacting to me, it could also be because they felt bliss when they tought about me, however its subtle. But i got some attention, some sielent stares with interest and at times even moments of owerwhelming questuons and effort to keep the conversation going.

I tried micro-dosing shrooms earlier this evening. I ate 2 smallish dried tops and a long stem. I don’t have a scale at the moment so I have no clue what the actual measurement was. This was my first time truly micro-dosing. It was an interesting comparison to previous full trips. It was also my first time ingesting alone. Just very subtle, but also intense....different, and yet so similar. I figured even though it wasn’t a “full trip” I still wanted to have an intention. I wasn’t 100 percent sure of the intention: But, let me tell you, they responded. *Also, I think I am sensitive to shrooms Mostly, for me, going in I wanted to explore my personal blocks on achieving financial “success,” with a little “if you want to help me discover how to help the universe as a whole right now, there is a sh@t ton happening, I wouldn’t be opposed” The Dosage: I started off with one small top to see how it would take. Then 40 minutes in I took the second top. Then 20 minutes later I ate the stem. What happened: I got incredibly horny for a brief period about 30 minutes after the first consumption. I have a high sex drive to begin with. Well, desire, I never NEED to orgasm, I just am perpetually horny and have no limit on the amount of times I can orgasm. However, This time I ended up mastrubating and cuming multiple times. The Orgasms were heightened in a similar way to how they are heightened when I eat weed edibles. Bliss state settled into relaxation. I discovered that I need to tone down how much I mastrubate on the whole though. I think my body is trying to balance out some chemicals from Past events. It feels like it is trying to reach the same level of chemicals that it had when it (I) went through trauma, and the only way to keep up the balance is through orgasm. I want to figure out different ways to balance the chemicals. It will be a process. I also don’t want to do “no-mastrubation” because I think mastrubation is a wonderful way to connect with and balance my body. I’ll just be more aware now. I then ate the second Top and I listened to a YouTube video on manifesting money: Lots of feminine energy in the video. I have a lot of feminine energy, so I figured maybe my wavelengths would match up and something would click. Her YouTube channel seems pretty chill too. I then ate the stem. I then got hungry and I ate 3 protein bars and drank 2 things of cold green tea. I wasn’t the least bit anxious, but anytime I trip I almost always drink excessive amounts of liquid and eat more. I think I have a stress eating issue. Not full on binge(?) but it is something I definitely want to look into. It might have to do with the trauma thing as well. It gives me comfort. Trying to balance chemicals. I then had to pee a billion times ?. Then, I noticed that when you have your phone flashlight on, if you look straight at it in the dark, it forms a beautiful rainbow. Try it while tripping sometime: Mood enhancer vibes. It was wonderful. I then went back to my intention: I thought about how change for me and for the universe is hard, and I cried some. I thought about how everything is connected and how energy pulses through me and through you and through every single thing on and off this planet to infinity. My heartbeat is your heartbeat. My heartbeat is the heartbeat of black holes. My heartbeat is the heartbeat of my cat. It is the heartbeat of every person rioting in cities for BLM. The heartbeat of every person at a Trump rally. And of every person dealing with Covid-19. And it is scattered as F$*& right now. We all must synchronize and truly beat as one. We are one, but we’re broken into pieces. We must not beat faster out of fear, or slower to avoid. We must beat in such a way that we can be whole again. So how am I to be financially “successful?” * And balance out orgasms and food? *and collectively synchronize the universal heartbeat? I must Check in with my heart each day and ask it what I must do for it to beat truthfully. Once I find that energy I must send that energy outwards every chance I get. And then that energy will come back. Then slowly, after many cycles. The heartbeat will be true again.

It feels saddening and negative thinking everything is meaningless. It feels uninterested to do anything in life with me understanding (or perhaps thinking) it is meaningless. For example, with watching TV, it feels uninterested in anything that is happening. With playing video games, it feels bored thinking there is no real meaning, purpose behind playing the game. With drawing, it feels uninteresting thinking what is the actual point, thinking there is no absolute, objective purpose. And with altruism, it feels bored thinking there is certainly no point to actually helping others. It seems (or is the case that) all meaning is mentally created and therefore not objective. And created meaning is "meaningless" and arbitrary. Life has just dropped to survival needs and pure hedonism. Any resources or really anything I can do to fix this problem. I should have asked on here months ago. It feels saddening thinking there is no reason to anything. I also can kinda see that there is nothing bad or negative about there being no meaning in life - it just still feels saddening thinking that the enjoyment or fulfillment or "feeling of meaning" is gone and won't come back. The illusion has been shattered. It is kinda a feeling negative thinking that "ohh life is meaningless" but its also feeling saddening thinking "meaning is gone = I have less enjoyment of life" (which may or may not be the same thing). Its still feeling negative based on a scenario of meaning being gone and of there being less joy in my life. My only goals now are just seeking financial freedom (so I can avoid the suffering of having to work), enlightenment (bliss, true happiness and understanding of life so I can know what is best, what to do, how to solve this and all my problems) and becoming a super powered being (lol don't ask). How to cure nihilism based suffering? And on a side note, is joy (like the pure pleasure of eating ice cream) connected to meaning in anyway? Someone please just explain meaning. What is meaning? (And yes I already watched Leo's video - that is what seeded this. Also just be straight up no bullshit or sugarcoating)

How do i expand my meditation practice? I've done various guided meditations and different practices at this point but i'm not getting much out of the practice these days. My goal for the practice is to find an elevated state of being in the practice, learning to embody feelings of joy, bliss etc. Just focusing on my breathing, or doing letting go gets me more relaxed and calm but it doesn't come with elevated feelings or any lasting change that sticks throughout my day. In my recent meditation session i decided to play some inspiring movie trailers, and i noticed that at certain points in the trailer, or with certain music, i get this wave of good feeling or inspired feeling that comes over me. That wave of good feeling that comes from the inspiring trailer is amazing and it's what i want out of my practice, but my meditation sessions never get me there. Any thoughts on my situation? Should i seek out more trailers or music that makes me feel good? But if i'm just listening to these videos is that even meditation anymore? Has anyone been able to cultivate a beautiful state of being in their meditation sessions that they managed to carry over in their everyday life?

you are wrong. Pure awareness is nothingness. Because, Nothing includes everything. Me as a person is not real, but the only real is awareness itself, which is nothingness. I dont where do you come with these info’s. Of course there is an awareness. If there is no awareness, you can never be exist or aware, even as nothing. You guys in the dream world. Lol. Nothing (pure awareness) is happening here. Nothing is the inly thing that exist as aware. You guys are in Alice wonderland. Dont even know nothingness. You forgot to read this part. I found your name ignorance is bliss

@Spiral Wizard Yes, and i also tend to think that, the main force is the consciousness which translates to the energies and energies translate to the body, making the secretion of chemicals responsible for the casual bliss that every meditator experiences. But to access these states maybe the body needs to be very healthy, however again, after some point it has nothing to do with biology. I always wonder, why doesn't chopped legs/arms grow. The intelligence certainly is there because it made it grow when you were little, i am really prone to belive that you can access it to really heal yourself.

@NorthNow Love, happiness, peace and bliss are all natural. All completely effortless. What does take a great amount of effort though; is to feel bad, stay disconnected and be confused.

I can eat a whole container of peanuts and be in bliss. Others eat a few peanuts and it’s life threatening.

Hey guys, so I did 5meo yesterday and am puzzled as to how powerful my experience was considering the small dose that I took....I had some kratom like 3 hours before taking it, and did one round of 40 breaths of the Wim Hof method breathing technique. I weighed out what registered as 5mg on my scale and seeing as I was on my own taking it for the first time I decided to go even lower so I took off a little bit, all in all I was left with what should have been 3-4mg if my scales measured the dose accurately (Perhaps I should have weighed 20 or so and divided I don't know). Anyway after the breathwork I took the hit and it began to kick in half way through my inhale to the point where I was nervous to even hold it in for too long, ended up exhaling much sooner than I usually do.. I took 8mg a few weeks back with a shaman as my starter dose and worked up to 14, then 16mg and I can safely say that this 3-4mg felt stronger than my 8mg dose. I took the kratom to help ease my anxiety as was feeling edgy and really wouldn't have had the opportunity to do this again for another few weeks, so figured I would chance it. Have combined with other psychedelics in the past with no real issues only maybe a dampening of effects. It didn't cause any nausea, I definitely noticed the serotonergic effects of both synergizing with one another, it really knocked the orgasmic bliss factor up a notch but had me begin to worry a bit when the effects were still going strong after 40 or so minutes. I eventually began to come down and was finally able to put down the pipe lol, feeling good since but confused... Not sure what caused this, possible inaccurate dosing, the breathwork, the kratom, the sensitivity to substances that 5meo induces OR a combination, who knows... I just don't know how to approach my dosing in the future. Anyway I thought I'd contribute with that, would be great to hear some thoughts on it:) Also, I definitely feel that I am experience some ego backlash today in the form of lust and anger. Felt little bit of an urge to look at some porn for the first time in a while earlier and also found myself getting very frustrated with some people in my life who have little self-awareness, to put it kindly...you know the kind who like to point the finger but are completely incapable of taking any criticism themselves?? Haha, anyway, it could also just be that I am feeling a bit drained but would love to know how you guys deal with this kind of thing, is it just a matter of observing it arise and it will dissipate...? I won't be looking at any porn but it has suckered me in the past after some of my psychedelic experiences:(

I've tripped N,N DMT approximately 25 times. I will try to distill my best advice and several personal experiences in a relatively concise manner. Firstly I'll say that if you have DMT and haven't experienced a breakthrough, your chances increase tenfold if you have psylocibin in your system. The chemical structure is very similar to DMT and serotonin for that matter. Only a difference of one functional group. A good way to think of it is that having shrooms in your system preps your brain for receiving the DMT. I have had much weaker experiences without psylocibin and with it, Ive become God. Can't recommend the two paired more. Take it approximately 2 - 2.5hrs into mushroom trip for best results imo. But obviously feel it out. Secondly I'll say that DMT only takes you if you're ready. At least in my experience. If I take six hits while surrounded by people in a social/party environment, I'll get nothing but a mild body high. One hit after deep meditation and yoga sessions, spending the day calming the mind and DMT will show me incredible things. You need to be in the right state and you need to listen and surrender. Speaking generally, it's not about how much you take. It's about how willing you are to surrender. How I start my trips: 5 mins of Ujjayi breathing to deepen the breath and ground into meditation spot. Exhale completely pushing all the air out of the body, using your abs to push away and then take your hit on the inhale, Slowly and as long as you can, then hold the breath. The DMT will start to take effect and then as you exhale surrender completely to the experience. You're job is done now, no effort required. All you have to do is listen. Listen to what's happening and watch like it's a movie. Allow all your awareness to be pulled inwardly into body sensations and let go of control. Be completely open to whatever the DMT "wants" to show you. My method of ingestion: Freebase Vaporized. I have DMT concentrate in a vape. Very pure. Haven't tried other methods yet. General structure of trips: Once it's in my system and I am listening carefully I start to fall into a trance. It lulls me into this wavy state and then usually a high pitched buzzing will happen. Listen to this buzzing or if it's not buzzing it will come in the form of a strong body sensation or visual. If any out of the ordinary strong stimulus presents itself, allow all your awareness to be sucked into it. The buzzing increases in intensity like a spaceship about to take off. Beautiful vibratory frequencies, it feels very "pure" - like a pure sine wave. As my awareness of the object increases, eventually I merge with it and then BOOM. Blast off. Incredible keleidescopic visuals. Unlike anything you thought you could every imagine. Figures and beings seem to be swirling around the room. If the eyes are open, everything in the room becomes connected to form beautiful symmetries and geometric shapes. If eyes are closed the visuals are even more profound. Then this is usually where my sense of self usually disappears. "I" am now gone. There is only pure experience. Any semblance of egoic mind that wants to understand or wants to remember what's happening is now gone. Then it tends to differ each trip. Many possibilities can happen. But after the experience, only approximately 15 mins in "I" start to come back. Normal thoughts resume and I'm like "Wait, WTF just happened." My most recent experiences: BECOMING GOD: Was with a close group of friends in a secluded nature spot and already 2.5hrs into a shrooms trip. The beautiful visuals began after the initial hit and I was immersed. Lord Hanuman - the Hindu God showed himself to me and I cried tears of joy, so much loving energy was being given to me. I felt unworthy of such love. Took another hit. Began to shoot off again. This time all fear left me completely. I opened my eyes and was reborn. My mind was fully in tact I could remember everything. Visuals started to fade but consciousness shot through the roof. I stood aloud and began to shout and cry in ECSTACY. Pure Joy. For the first time in my life. I became conscious that I am God. I was concious of the process of creating everything. RIGHT NOW. Everything is created right now. Including my entire past. Everything was recontextualized to meet the perfect present moment. Ridiculous levels of Bliss and understanding that this is timeless and all loving. I was completely in love with everything. I loved every little flaw that my Ego would shudder at. I loved the hell out of my friends and for the first time could fully express it. I felt completely open and flushed with endless energy. All I could say is "Oh my God!" and "WOWWWW!!!" and "No way, no way, it can't be." And "It loves it all. All of it is love." Essentially I said these 4 phrases on repeat for approximately 30 minutes. My two friends who didn't hit the pen were confused but ammused. And my friend who did was having a very similar experience. We began to become concious of the source and began to have an experience of unified mind. Our minds merged in waves. We became separate and laughed our asses off and then we became One and also laughed histerically. This is very hard to explain so I'll probably make a separate thread on this experience because I have a feeling many people have gone through this and can talk about it in more detail. After glow lasted hours, into the late night when I finally fell asleep, filled with love. DMT teaches me Yoga - Opening the chakras and releasing stagnant energy: A few weeks after the previous trip I went again on psylocibin. At the top of a gorgeous hike with breathtaking views and I started to do Yoga before hitting the pen. I started to feel energy moving through me and releasing. I began to feel so alive and awake. Like I could never really "feel" anything and this was the first time I could. Then I meditated for a few minutes and hit the DMT. Exploding fractals as usual and then the DMT started to take control of my body. I started to do very weird yoga movements such as exhaling while flexing all of my muscles inward and compressing into a tight ball. It held me here for about a minute. Completely compressed and then BOOM. Release. Massive inhale and all this energy cleared up. Massive physical and emotional release. It's like that feeling when you have gas trapped and you can't burp and then finally comes that beautiful belch, except this was 1000x more satisfying. This process repeated several times as well as many other yoga releases. It would do things such as stretch my neck all the way upward so I'm looking at the sky and then stick my tongue all the way out. And I mean all the way out. Flexing all the muscles in my throat whilst exhaling similar to Lions Breath. I'd never done anything like this. I had so much awareness concentrated in points of my body and it opened up all places that were blocked. A lot of it was centered around my throat and it had me chant several OHMs and other really weird movements, that maybe I'll explain in another thread. Point is it controlled my body. "I" wasn't doing anything. It moved me. Hard to describe but you'll know if/when it happens with you. Wasn't really coupled with any God realizations but it was the most intense release I've ever felt. I cried for about 10 minutes thanking God for helping me. Last notes: I'm my experience every entity I've ever encountered on DMT has been extremely loving. This is why you know it's an entity and not just standard visuals. It feels like a separate being. You know how you can feel the difference between a person in the same room staring at you and a poster? It's like this except the being is emitting incredible loving energy towards you. For me they usually help me release stagnant energy and move my body. This psychedelic has given me the most diverse range of experiences beyond any other psychedelic I have done. It's new and unexpected everytime. And it won't take you all the way everytime. Be okay with this and understand it's not the right time/place for you. Have patience and surrender deeply

?????????????????? Becoming a literal God (being immortal etc) is something that requires incredible suffering, I just keep reminding myself of the gravity of actual awakening, all of life and human existence answered, all religions, all questions, death, answered...and man, the perpetual bliss, that's something I can't wait for ?????????????????????. Do you use 5meo @Dumuzzi

My mental health is degrading, the last two days I've been in a strange mental state. I can't handle the stress. I can't figure out how to let go of my ego, I'm just trapped at where I am. I'm becoming more prone to delusion. I've been having the thoughts that pain is actually true bliss because the ego tells us that it should be avoided and have considered ending my life or causing myself physical pain to test it out.

It would be quite the opposite. When you rise in the spiral, you gain some "super powers" so to speak. At stage yellow you start to see the deep interconnectedness in all aspects of society, nature, relationships, work, etc. You see the world from an outside perspective and see the systems at play. In other words, you start seeing things that 90% of people don't see. It narrows the competition pretty good I'd say. This is the stage where creative ideas and different paradigms start to become obvious to you. At higher stages you'll be able to express a deep love to any passion you choose in your life. This will attract people and things to you. At this point you'll be a natural leader who can develop a vision that others will want to follow. And at that point the competition narrows even more. Maybe you'll see things that 95% can't see. Plus, at the higher stages, the terms too different and difficult will seem silly. These are constucts that actually don't exist. You'll be your "True Highest Self" and at that point, no lables or attachments will matter to you. ? That's of course if you want to be competitive at all. You could also choose to live in bliss on a mountain top somewhere. ??

I can somewhat relate to this guy. About four years ago I had a similar semi-awekening as this guy. I was in the same forced bliss-mode for about six months, and than I graudally became worse for about 18 months and that when I had my first real awekning after a super heavy LSD trip, and it was brutal. Three days of hell, crying, fear, horror shame, and mental, emotiinal and physical exhaustion. By far the worst experience of my life. But as mentioned above I hope he'll be alright and doesn't hurt himself.

This! Which is crazy... Like literally the bliss of sobriety outweighing the bliss of drugs. Until I personally experienced that shift, I never *really* thought it was possible. I find meditation to be the best tool to appreciate the pleasures of sobriety. That all being said, shamanism is a valid spiritual path, at least it has been for me. It's just that over time one's relationship with mind altering substances changes. Instead of using them to chase good feelings (escaping one's present state in favor of another state) the context shifts towards exploration and curiosity. For example, I don't use psychedelics to get high, I use them to explore consciousness. In the case of weed, I feel like I've just about explored as much of it as I need to in 1 lifetime lol. One final point I'd like to add for other weed users - Until you actually feel the damage and have a preference shift towards sobriety over being high, trying to quit or scale back will probably be quite difficult. I've tried to scale back a lot over the course of my useage but always seemed to fall back into a habit of frequent use because at the end of the day, I preferred being high over being sober. Until one day it finally just... clicked. Inquire into why you're using weed, and try to really get clear on what its effects are. Explore sobriety and the nature of pleasure, and well being through meditation.

You are exist as a thought. You dont need to step out of yourself, because yourself (As human) is existed bu thoughts. If you go with flow and be at the moment, bliss is inevitable. Because you are already it, however thoughts creates self prison (such as you are human, in body, me and you vs).

@Nahm you right. For a second I thought I owned Bliss. So arrogant since I don't even exist Lol @James123 True. Only when I stepped out of myself I realize Bliss has always been the case .

@Javfly33 bliss is bliss. You are not the person who is experiencing bliss, you are the bliss.

@Javfly33 Bliss can not think nor be conscious.

But Bliss can be conscious what it is or not. If not bliss could think is an object and imagine a shit ton of stories. This does Seem as an important difference.

@EnlightenmentBlog ‘You’ as the subject which could be irritated or saddened by objects, or experience bliss, is the subject-object, separate self perspective. Eckhart is not experiencing bliss. Nahm is not experiencing bliss. These are thoughts. Meditation is ideal.

@Nahm I get that. Can we keep it practical, for the sake of this discussion. And since you can only talk through direct experience, is almost constant Bliss being experienced? Or is there irritation/sadness/etc still arising? (I talk about you, but there is no you who experiences these, I know).

Everything is fundamentally happening out of Love -- it is Love itself -- including physical pain. Of course, relatively speaking, physical pain is the opposite of bliss. Pain is an interpretation. Like everything else. If you are able to interpret everything happening to you as something you do to yourself, i.e. as Divine, then naturally you should be able to be in a state of bliss almost constantly, no matter the cirumstances, including what other people would call "physical pain".

@EnlightenmentBlog There are not two. There is no one experiencing bliss.

@Nahm Thanks. Made sense now. Does that mean that being agitated or angry also means experiencing Bliss?