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About ivankiss

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  1. The unconscious masculine learns to open up - compassionately. The unconscious feminine learns to stand its ground - independently. In union; the two meet and awaken as the heavenly masculine and divine feminine. All in one being. Male or female - regardless. The nature of one's journey depends on the inner imbalance between the two energies. Not a "one size fit all", for sure. From my observations; this forum is mainly an example of the unconscious masculine opening up to the feminine. Which is also what the whole world is going through currently.
  2. @Aeris if you feel like being on the front line, cool. Sounds like you know what you're fighting for and why. I've chosen a less direct approach. Which does not equal ineffective. It's just disguised as something else instead of being dressed up as a warrior. I fight for passion, with passion. For expression, by expressing. For peace, by being peaceful. If I am not an example of that which I stand for; the battle is already lost. When you see a battlefield; can you tell who's fighting for what? Or can you see blood and death only? It's easy to become indistinguishable from your enemy. In war both sides merge. My biggest fight is daring to to be who I am. And being it is my biggest victory. Sing of the dark days of war. Tell stories of epic battles. But shed no blood. Take no life. If that's what you're fighting against. You defeat it by not being it.
  3. Don't complain about the garbage you're not willing to clean up. Let it decompose at its own pace. Nature balances itself regardless. It's just a matter of what you perceive. Which side of the spectrum you're looking at. If you wanna get your hands dirty; do it. If not; reorient. Focus on what you prefer to see.
  4. @abrakamowse Nah. Love the matrix. But I'm in a rockstar movie. Can't hack or fight. Only play music @Conrad good for you. I suppose we should still dream big. Even bigger than before perhaps. Living an exciting and fulfilling life instead of a mundane one. That's relative tho. Wish you the best!
  5. @Aeris true dat. Solitude is not alien to me. I'd say I even got too comfortable in it. So I'm really feeling like connecting and interacting now. Emphasis on co-creation. Collaboration. Kinda got tired of doing everything on my own; as if no one else existed it's a loop from childhood. I embraced it long enough. Change is exciting! Good to hear you draw. I used to be good at it as a kid. Now I doubt I'd be able to draw a tree. Focused on my vocals these days. Wanna sing like an angel and growl like a demon lol. Dig patterns. Them 1s and 0s. Altough they also freak me out at times lol. Is that weird? Been deep into the mathematics of music, so I see the links. Mind is all patterns lol. I kinda got enough of ployrhythmic mindfuckery though. Exploring the feel side of music more. So yeah, not really interested in peaking behind the curtains of the digital world. Did that in reality enough. None of coding or programming shit. Mainly chill, off time gaming. Fantasy stuff. Things that are not experiential here. Like dragons and whatnot. Will reach out for sure when time comes. Not upset about gf really. Feeling a bit stuck if anything. I suppose we both need a breath of fresh air. How's your romance? Serious thing or more adventurous?
  6. @Aeris you only go too far if you can't find your way back. Between the lines is all I read Like your hype and authenticity. It's out there and in the face. Funny cuz I kinda got the opposite going on the inside. I really want to become more digital. Dive into some geeking. Plug myself into devices. Play with cool gadgets. Experiment. Never focused on that stuff much, aside from music production...I feel technologically dumb at times lol. So I guess it's a natural progression. Still livin' the tropical lifestyle. Workin' on my finances. Putting the album together slowly. Can't wait to start recording. Not sure about my relationship status lol. We kinda grew apart. Different intrests. We'll see where it goes. Feeling a pull back to EU. Wanna hang with cool peeps. Create stuff. Got enough of Asia. You know I will find you one day. It already happened.
  7. @Aeris it's over 9000! was thinking bout ya too these days lol. Been reading through some of your posts for fun. It's entertaining, I like. Gives me the giggles. @abrakamowse Yeah... chasing the ego out of town is not cool. All in one. Harmony.
  8. It took me a while to fully realize this, but now I came to have no doubt left about it. My journey is not that of waking out of the body. Or waking out of the mind. Or waking out of form. It is not about waking out of illusion. Nope. My journey is that of waking into my body. Into form. Into life. Being a person. A conscious individual. I did not know this for sure up until recently. I guess I needed to see clearly the choice I made. The choice to be here and now as I am. As Ivan. And boy did I see the choice being made clearly. Honestly. Willingly. I now remember. I now know; I am because I am willing to be. Not to brag or anything; but it was quite easy for me to reach enlightenment. I basically spent my whole life hovering above everything. I was not quite immersed in reality. I spent most of my time up in the clouds, so to speak. Had little to no boundaries. Sensing everyone's emotions and thoughts was normal to me. I just wasn't in my body, really. So when life guided me onto the path of seeking Truth; I barely had a few steps to make. Not that it was not challenging...It's just that I've been so close to light, all along. I did not know what it meant to be enlightened though. And frankly; I still don't. I have no real need to know, either. But I'm quite sure it has to do something with infinite, unconditional Love. Love is where I begin. Love is where I end. Enlightenment! Love is what we never wake up from. It's forever. So now, as a newborn; I'm doing what I'm here to do. Doing what I have chosen to do. I'm learning how to walk on Earth consciously; as a unique individual. I am drawing lines. Creating boundaries. I have likes and dislikes. I laugh, I cry, I think, I feel. I express. I sing. I give. I receive. I relate. I live. I am enjoying the ride. I am learning how to speak consciously. To breathe consciously. To think consciously. To love unconditionally. I now remember choosing the ups and downs. I know their importance. Which does not make anything easier, really. But that too is what I've chosen. It's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be challenging. Fun and thrilling. It's supposed to give me all the opportunities to grow and expand. To become more of who and what I am. Fully and rightfully. First thing I did after reaching the top of the mountain was praying to God to ground me into my physical form. To bless me with my senses again. My uniqueness. My point of view. I would trade it for no other. It is exactly what I desire. It is exactly what I dream of. It is exactly when, how and where. It is the best thing I could have chosen. Attachment, you might think? Nah. Dedication. Commitment. Submission. Will. Choice. Freedom. So what's my point? Well... It's you. I invite you. I encourage you. Come, be the fullest you with the fullest me. Let us walk on Earth together. It's an exciting place!
  9. @DrewNows True words. Though instead of "threatening"; I would use the word "challenging". And that's good. It's an invitation for growth. Fear is a part of the navigation system as well. We only need to understand how to use it instead of respond to it with more fear. It's here to help. @Bill W Thanks! Do share some about your AA experience if you feel like it. I'm curious.
  10. So often we find ourselves at the crossroads of life, unsure of which turn to take. How to make that next step. Where to shine our light. Seeing the vast ocean of endless possibilities can be overwhelming at times; instead of liberating. If you happen to feel this way, I want to let you know; it's fine. You're not alone. It's only natural. All big picture thinkers go through this phase. The ocean can make you feel like a tiniest little dot; drifting at the mercy of winds. That is why you must learn how to navigate yourself through. How to read your inner compass. You are the captain of this ship. You are the one who decides where it goes. Choose the most exciting direction. That's right; excitement is the heart of your navigation system. It let's you know where your next biggest adventure is. Your highest joy and bliss. Your greatest opportunity for growth and expansion. It just so happened that I felt excited about creating this thread. I followed that nudge and now my eyes are already smiling. I was facing indecisiveness and uncertainty many times throughout this journey. It is not a pleasant spot to be in. No one likes that sense of being stuck. Precisely because things are meant to flow. Naturally and effortlessly. Yet no matter how much I'd try to hide and deny it; somewhere deep inside I was feeling unworthy. And that sense of unworthiness was responsible for my insecurity. It was the reason why I could not stand my own ground and be confident and certain about my decisions. I did not know myself truly. I did not recognize my own value. One could argue bad parenting is the main reason behind it all; but I'm not here to play the blaming game. Pointing fingers will not help one heal their wounds. Instead; one must find a way to recognize their own light. To show the love to themselves that they were not shown to by their parents or others. And that can be a process. But it is the biggest gift one can give to themselves. It is worth it. You are worth it. No matter how many times you were led to feel otherwise. No matter how many times you were not heard, seen or understood. No matter how many overlooked your spark. Your gift. Your light. No matter how insignificant you were made to feel. You are absolutely worthy of it all. Of everything you feel your heart is pulling you towards. You are worthy of creating your own paradise. Your own piece of the divine. Your dream life. Your kingdom. Only you can declare your own worth. Only you can recognize your own value. Only you can acknowledge the beauty of your gifts that are meant to be shared with the whole universe. Do it for yourself. Do it for your past, do it for your future. Do it for us all. Do it now. Be certain. May your fire burn unlike ever before. No one will dare to dim your light again, I promise. You will simply notice no shadow. You will be too busy admiring the perfection of your every step. The beauty of your every move. The art you create by simply daring to be who and what you are; doing what you're best at. Following your heart. You will shift from feeling unworthy to being priceless. So that the next time you find yourself at one of those crossroads; you will dare to choose the path that feels the most exciting; knowing you are worthy of making your own choice. Worthy of choosing your own path. Your own life. You are the cure.
  11. So that they can come to see and understand their shit and transform it. Also; to mirror. To reflect. To trigger those who are full of some other kind of shit. And get triggered by their shit. We're all in the same pile. The same shit. Just think we know better because we use different symbols. It's hilarious.
  12. @Bill W I am flattered and honored Just don't take me too seriously haha. Filter it all well; there's a lot of nonsense Lots of my posts are just me shedding old skin. Take only what feels right. Thanks and bless ya!