ivankiss

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  1. Remind yourself to breathe through your thoughts as often as possible.
  2. Update; Went on a second date with the girl I previously mentioned. It went... perfect? More closeness, more connection, more flow and effortless, casual fun time. We did not drive back to my place - yet again. She was on her period and also had important stuff to do in the morning. I like it. I can sense the 'tension' building up. In a very positive sense. I feel like I'm actively dating. It's not too easy and predictable. It's spontaneous, interesting and exciting. Feelings? Yes. And they're mutual - I'd say. Attachment? No. I feel free and limitless and hold on to no expectations. I do have desires. But I am also totally fine with them not coming to fruition. I feel steady, calm and centred yet excited, curious and playful. We still seem to be sharing the same intention. Light, casual, fun, genuine connection. Sex and friendship. No strings attached. Love? Of course, yes. How could anything ever be anything else but Love? Hehe. But it's a different kind of romantic love than I was familiar with. It's not clingy. It's not limited. It's open and free. It's just that which I know myself to be. As Love I can only interact with and experience Love. Of course. So simple. So beautiful. So light. Life is good.
  3. That's happening regardless of my dating life 🙂 That might be true, but the whole emphasis is on me being single now 😅 Thanks!
  4. @Applegarden Thank you for sharing man. It's good to see how open and clear you are about all that. It takes quite some consciousness and balls to be that honest. I don't really have much to advise. You clearly know what's relevant for you now and why you are or aren't doing things. I can definitely relate to a lot that you said. In a way; I'm an an 'outcast', too. I don't really fit in anywhere, at all. But what I am really good at is 'adjusting to my environment'. Blending in. And I don't do it via pretence. Rather; authenticity. By being comfortable in my skin. I'm naturally good at connecting with people. Young, old, weird, cool, introverted, extroverted, shy, loud... all kinds. But I still 'choose' carefully who do I connect with and to what degree. It's an intuition thing. All I'm really paying attention to is; resonance or dissonance. And I adjust my act accordingly. It's a play that I'm still 'perfecting'. It's very delicate and subtle. But very fun, too. I'd say 'awakening allowed me to be at peace wherever I am and in whoever's presence. I simply am me. And that can look and feel like anything. What others think about it is not really my issue. Not my responsibility. It's who they are. I let them be; they let me be. And I can't lie... I am quite a sexual being. I love it. I'd say it's a part of my essence. I also admire the beauty of women. I find it mesmerising. Magical. So yeah. I don't fight that aspect of me - at all. I just do whatever I do now mindfully and with an open heart. To the best of my abilities. I feel like it's relevant for me to embrace and explore sexuality now. Maybe that will change, maybe not. And I think it's the same with you. Perhaps you are going through a phase. Maybe you will meet 'The One' and realize you have been saving yourself for her all this time. Maybe that won't happen and you will simply not be interested in exploring sexuality and intimacy, ever. Who knows? What matters is that you stay true to what you're feeling in your heart. Ps. Do send me some music - if ya created any new. Would love to hear. Keep rockin'! 🤟
  5. @WaveInTheOcean True. Thanks. Last night I went out for a spontaneous date. It went surprisingly well. Smooth, fun and casual. She's newly single too and not looking for anything 'serious'. We connected quite effortlessly. Almost took things back to my apartment, but we decided to leave that for the second date. Good times.
  6. @universe Great stuff! Thank you. Of course there is no issue. That's not why I created this thread. Rather; to see how single people think and view things - given that it has been quite a long time since I was single and dating. Yes, these are just thought patterns and nothing is stopping them from arising and being expressed. It's more of a curiosity thing. - Not anything that's bugging me.
  7. @WaveInTheOcean Thank you for your response. Much juiciness. True, but this way it's more fun. Someone else might articulate things differently - from a different angle. It can do no harm 🙂 That's a good point, yes. I think I define a relationship as a deeper, more soul-felt kind of thing. It involves strong commitment, dedication, loyalty etc. While just having casual fun with someone can be a surface-level thing. It still involves a level of closeness an intimacy...but not nearly as much as when I'm in a relationship.
  8. @Arcangelo 😅
  9. @electroBeam I am familiar with that, yes 😅 Do not see myself using it as a strategy though 😅 I'm sure things can be just communicated straight forward. Maybe my signals are somewhat mixed. I still hear the echoes of my previous relationship.
  10. @Roy Thanks! Feeling what you said. Yeah, I noticed. I told this girl that's into me that I'm really, truly not looking for anything serious right now, and it does not seem to be working. It's almost as if she doesn't wanna hear that part. I'd like to have fun with her. But I can already sense her wanting more than just casual fun time out of this.
  11. @electroBeam Haha, that's great! The first one who 'figures it out' lets the other one know. Deal? 😅
  12. So I've be jumping from relationship to relationship for the last decade or so. Obviously; I'd like to do things a bit differently this time around. This most recent relationship I was in, was the most intimate, the deepest and the most intense amongst all. 'Exhausting' ...is the word. Heavy and nasty. Rich and beautiful. 1300 days of heaven and hell. Now it's no more. Now it's day 1 for me. Last week; I moved to a gorgeous, new apartment. I live in a semi-large, modern and vibrant city. Lots of beautiful, young people. Lots of cool spots and places. A lot to love. I work 40 to 50 hours a week. I have an online business-thing going on and I'm also a musician. Still; I do have quite a few pockets of 'free time' , that could be filled with anything. Dating? Why not? After all; I am 25, good-looking and in a city that offers alot of fun. I see no reason not to enjoy meeting new people. I like going out for a drink or a dinner. The city's nightlife vibes with me. It's not overblown. It's just the right amount of action. So yeah. Looking forward to going out for a drink or two - every now and then. My work itself involves meeting and interacting with new people - on a daily basis. It's fun. It's fast-paced. It's alive. 'Picking up' girls that way is no issue - at all. In fact; I find that to be by far the 'smoothest' and 'easiest' way to do just that. I'd say I'm a natural flirt. It's a quality - not a skill. If I'm feeling good and in 'my zone', flirting is just something I do; spontaneously and effortlessly. That is; if that quality is 'activated'. On my sleepy/off days... I'm just generally not interested in flirting. Obviously; while in a relationship that aspect is asleep, as well. Reserved for one person, only. So yeah; it feels pretty good to be back in touch with that part of me again fully. I like it. Not to brag or anything, but I never really had any issues with women. What I did have an issue with was; low self-esteem/self-image, unworthiness and desperation. Which usually resulted in letting myself being picked up by women lol. Only rarely would I make the first step. Let alone chase a girl. I always thought I was 'above that' for whatever reason. Kinda dickheadish - now that I see it. Pathetic, too. But above all just innocent. I was afraid of rejection even though I have never been really rejected by a girl lol. I did, however, experience abandonment and negligence in my childhood. So that makes sense. Point is; I'd like to make the first step now. And I have been doing that these days. But I also still let girls pick me up. Which resulted in me getting involved with a girl that is...let's just say; not really my type. She is clearly interested in me - a lot. I am not as much interested in her as much as I'm just going with it. So it feels a bit off. Which does not mean I'm not enjoying it. I am. It's just not quite on that level. I think girls find it easy to fall in love with me. I can fall in love easily, too. But I don't want another goddamn relationship lol. I need to breathe for myself now. So here are my questions to you experienced, sexy, single people: How do I interact, flirt and engage intimately with girls without it leading to a relationship somewhere 'down the line' ? Can Love be 'involved'? Can I love a girl that I had a one-night-stand with? Can I love a girl without either one of us developing attachments? Is 'fuck-budy' a good idea? Can it be healthy, casual and just fun? Can it be light, smooth and romantic? Or is that sending me down the 'relationship hallway' again? Is 'lowering my standards' a 'bad thing'? Should I aim high all the time? Should I filter more? How does one reject politely? Also; I find the whole virtual part of dating very limiting and often exhausting. I prefer real, face-to-face interactions. Problem is; everyone around me is mesmerized by their smartphones. Of course the first thing they wanna do is add you on this and that and check out your virtual life. I'd be happy to avoid that part if anyone has any suggestions. Maybe telling a girl that we should send letters to each-other would be actually cool. Thanks!
  13. A thought is but a frequency, like anything else. A vibration. It is a specific density of Light.