Note: This document is a work-in-progress and will be improved and supplemented over time.
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So you wanna become enlightened, eh?
Good!
That's where this journey starts.
A burning desire for TRUTH is essential to success in this. Don't let people confuse you with talk of how "desire is bad", "seeking is delusion". No! Seeking is essential to breakthrough. Don't burn your ship before you've crossed the ocean! That would be foolish.
Rather than filling your mind with beliefs and ideas about enlightenment, let me give you a bare-bones structure for how to actually make progress towards enlightenment.
There are at least 20 totally different ways that I know for how to get enlightened. What I'm going to share with you here is just ONE way out of dozens. It is however a very direct way. This method is highly effective. It may not work for everyone, but then again, no method works for everyone. I call this method self-observation or Leo's version of self-inquiry. "Self-inquiry" as classically taught by Ramana Maharishi is technically different.
Anyways...
First, let's be very clear what we're talking about when we speak of enlightenment.
So...
What this basically means is that YOU are deeply confused about who you think you are. Right now you think that you're a human being, sitting there, reading this text on your screen. This is false. Pure fantasy. You are in fact not that thing at all. What we have here is a case of mistaken identity. You think you're a body, but you're not. You think you're a mind, but you're not. You think you're an entity living inside your head, but you're not. You think you are a physical object but you are not!
Take a moment to seriously consider the magnitude of my claim. IF I happen to be right, and you happen to be wrong, then what that means is: you are NOT a human being, or even a physical object! Not metaphorically-speaking; not as some philosophical curiosity; but literally!
How could such an outrageous thing be possible??????
How could you be mistaken about what you actually are?????
Very easily actually!
Recall how you've met people in your life who you knew were indoctrinated from birth with silly religious beliefs about Jesus and all sorts of other nonsense. Recall how little children believe that Santa Claus exists because they don't know any better. Recall how terrorists believe they are killing civilians in the name of Allah and will go to heaven with 72 virgins waiting for them. Recall how racists insist they are right for persecuting minorities.
Well... here's something you're not gonna like hearing: that same delusion mechanism which existed in them, is operating FULL-FORCE within you right now! Yup! You too have been indoctrinated by ignorant parents and teachers from birth into believing a fairy-tale. Except in this case, the indoctrinated idea was: you are a human being.
What a mind fuck!
Now, in this work of "self-observation", you will discover -- for yourself -- what you REALLY are.
Important: I am not asking you to believe me. You will have to demonstrate empirically, for yourself, that what I say is accurate. You can be skeptical all you want here. It won't upset me.
"Okay" you say. "So what am I then if I'm not a human being or a physical object?"
Great question!
Sorry to tell you this, but your ENTIRE identity and life story is just a giant optical illusion. Like this non-existent triangle:

There's nothing really there! Although it sure seems convincing, doesn't it?
The problem is that you cannot know what you are rationally or logically because the mind is the source of the confusion. See.... No matter how cleverly or deeply or long you think, all the mind can ever do is symbolize stuff. It can only create maps and models. But you are not a symbol or a map or a model! You are not an idea or a thought! So you have to directly experience what you are. This MAY take months or years of very careful self-investigation.
Note: I am saying that you have NEVER IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE ever experienced yourself before! You've only experienced phenomena, none of which is essentially YOU!
So what is this mysterious "essential you"? Let me spoil the surprise because otherwise you will waste YEARS searching in the wrong places, thinking you've found yourself when you really just found another false belief.
So... as directly as possible now: the entity who thinks it's reading this sentence does NOT exist!
Again, please try to fathom the magnitude of what is being said. This is extremely radical (but nevertheless true).
Since you are pure awareness, all your focus goes toward shining "light" on sensory phenomena so it's really hard to "see" yourself. Pure awareness is very subtle, which means you have to develop extraordinary mindfulness abilities to "see" yourself.
"But Leo?! You can't be serious! This sounds like a crazy New Age hippy conspiracy!"
Let me assure you it's not. I am no hippy. I'm probably more rational and logical than you are. But I do recognize the limits of logic and rationality.
The problem here is that you've been so brainwashed by society that what I'm telling you right now sounds crazy. That's okay. Just keep your mind open to the possibility that what I'm claiming can be directly verified by you. Nothing here has to be believed. But you do have to be willing to take it on as a temporary hypothesis to be verified or falsified.
 
Leo's Patented () Step-By-Step Process To Become Enlightened:
Find a quiet, comfortable place to sit alone. (You don't need to sit cross-legged.) Turn off your smart phone and disconnect from all distractions Set a digital timer for 60 minutes Now sit silently and start to genuinely wonder: "What am I if I'm not the body?" Do NOT meditate! Sit and carefully observe your direct experience. Notice that direct experience is THE ONLY THING you have of reality. Nothing else is real. Realizing this should make you very "present". Try to locate yourself within direct experience. Be very specific and clear with yourself: What are you? Are you a foot? A hand? A face? A mind? A brain? The envelop of the skin? The picture of yourself in the mind's eye? A feeling in the chest? What? Seriously! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU????????????? Notice that anything you might point to as being "your true self" cannot be true, because that's just another experience arising. Here's the logic of it: Firstly, it isn't constant. It fades in and out throughout the day, so it cannot be you. Secondly, you are observing it, so it cannot be you because "you" are the one doing the observation. So again, WHAT ARE YOU? Open your mind to the possibility that you are mistaken about being a human body or mind. Just sit there and keep genuinely wondering about what you really could be. Try to locate the one who's perceiving things. Do not philosophize or come up with theories. Focus 100% on what your direct experience is telling you. This is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL!!!!!!!! The bulk of the work happens right here at this step. You have to slowly become aware that all your thoughts and ideas and feelings about "you" are not really you. They are just symbols and stories. For example: notice that the image of your body that you have in your mind is NOT actually your body! It's just an image! And the same goes for the feelings that make up your body. Those feelings are real, but they are not actually you! As any theories arise of what you think you are, notice that what that is, is a thought! And no thought can be you because you are the one perceiving the thought, and also because your existence does not depend on any particular thought's existence. Notice you don't cease to exist in between thoughts. Just sit and keep doing this for 60 minutes without getting distracted in irrelevant thoughts. As your mind wanders off track (and it will wander a lot) don't beat yourself up. Just bring your focus back on the self-observation. After 60 minutes, stop and notice what happened. Notice if your mind feels "elevated" or more aware. Frustration and confusion are OF COURSE going to arise. Do NOT be discouraged by frustration or confusion. Believe it or not, these are signs of progress. Do not expect instant results. You must be very methodical and patient like a crocodile. Repeat this process every day for at least 60 minutes for the next few months. Be very patient. It will take several months just to start to get your bearings straight. And by that I don't mean you will become enlightened. I mean you merely begin to realize the magnitude of your ignorance. In this time span of 3 months -- let's say -- you will get a strong sense that it really isn't possible to locate yourself. This may seem like you've failed, but actually this is a huge advance. Now you've finally started to realize that you've never really met yourself before. Now the journey towards enlightenment can begin in earnest!
Just keep doing the process without discouragement. At some point, your mind will crack and you will surrender to the realization that there's no one home. That life has always run with you. And BAAAAAMMMMM!!!!!!! Enlightenment has occurred! Notice, I did not say YOU got enlightened. Rather, enlightenment has occurred.
So who got enlightened? No one.
 
 
Tips For Self-Observation:
Don't just do this process mechanically, you MUST be genuinely curious about the truth of what you are. Try to establish a daily habit of self-observation. You need to build consistency and momentum. Be very careful about coming up with theories about what you are. We don't care about theories here. Every theory is NOT it. We only care about direct experience. REPEAT: ALL THEORIES AND IDEAS ARE DISTRACTIONS! Spend time asking yourself who you really believe that you are under the conventional worldview. Are you a body or are you the owner of the body? Are you inside the skull? If so, where exactly? The point of doing this is so you're clear and honest about your present beliefs, even if you intellectually know they are false. It's very important to get clear what exactly your false beliefs are. Do not be vague in your answers to the query of What are you? It's vital that you be precise and specific. Answers such as, "Well, I dunno, I'm just in the skull somewhere." are NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!! What EXACTLY are you identifying with? Hint: it will either be a thought, a body sensation, an emotion, a visual perception, or a combination of the above. But all of those cannot be the true you because they are not constant. Create an active sense of doubt that you are a human being or a physical object Any belief, thought, or idea about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. Any sensory experience about who you really are is automatically FALSE! Drop it. All scientific theories or models are automatically FALSE! Drop it. All spiritual, New Age, or religious ideas about who you really are, are FALSE! Drop it. You are NOT a visible object or "thing" so stop looking for yourself like you would look for a missing dog. You are NOT located in any area of space, so stop looking for yourself as a point or hidden object somewhere. You are NOT located inside "your" head You are NOT located inside "your" body There is nothing magical to discover in this process. You are not some kind of unicorn or fairytale creature. There is nothing hidden. Everything you see before you is exactly what there is, nothing more, nothing less. It is not possible to find yourself, so this process is futile. But you need to realize that through doing the process. Not by believing me. You will get VERY frustrated during this process and want to quit. Just accept the frustration and keep going. This process will surface deep emotional issues from our subconscious mind. You will experience emotional turmoil and anguish. Just accept it and keep going. You will feel depressed at times. Just accept it and keep going. Your mind will use every excuse in the book to distract you and get you to stop looking. Stay vigilant to all these tricks and keep looking. DO NOT GET TRICKED INTO STOPPING! The truth of what you are is ever-present. It is always HERE and NOW. You don't need to go anywhere or do anything to see it. You are you right now! Be prepared for this self-observation process to take several years if necessary. Understand that enlightenment happens always only in the NOW. Never in the future. You can be enlightened RIGHT THIS SECOND! You don't need to wait 3 years. Always intend to become enlightened right now! Enlightenment/Truth is NOT an emotional state. Enlightenment is occurring always, even when you're watching TV or sitting on the toilet. Meditation is NOT enlightenment. A psychedelic high is NOT enlightenment. A powerful energetic experience is NOT enlightenment. A vision or hallucination (however real it may feel) is NOT enlightenment. Enlightenment is what's absolutely true without ever changing. Don't forget the possibility that you may not be a thing! Don't forget the possibility that there might be nothing to find There is no you to become enlightened. When this is realized, that's enlightenment! Hint: it's MUCH simpler than you think. A HUGE HINT:
The thing you're looking for but aren't finding... THAT'S YOU!!! Don't expect it to have any attributes. Don't expect the mind to have anything whatsoever to latch onto.
You cannot grab NOTHINGNESS by the collar.
You can only realize you're already it.
Think of it this way: you are looking for a needle in a haystack, but this is no ordinary needle. In this case the needle is literally the realization there was no needle to begin with!
A cosmic joke! You've been punked by God (yourself).
 
 
Best Self-Observation Questions:
What am I? No, seriously now... WHAT THE FUCK AM I????? No, cut the shit! What am I -- RIGHT NOW -- in my direct experience???? Who is aware of reality? Who is aware of me? Who is perceiving? Who is the owner of the body? Who is the owner of the mind? Who is feeling pain? Who is asking all these questions? What was I before I was born? What am I when I'm in deep sleep? What could I be if I'm not the human body/mind? What connects and unifies all of my different senses? What is true independent of ever-changing sense experience? What is true independent of my life and my death? Why do I believe I'm the body? Why do I believe I'm the mind? Where to do thoughts arise from? If I'm the body, what is everything else that I'm seeing? Why do I trust my feeling that I'm the body? Is a feeling really evidence of TRUTH? Why must I be an object? What if the "perciever" has no attributes or properties? When I close my eyes, where did the world disappear to? Where is sound occurring? Where are thoughts occurring? Where are body sensations occurring? What is the relationship between physical body sensations and my visual field? What if I don't exist? What if I can't locate myself because I am "empty" or without form or attribute? What if I'm addicted to looking only for objects or perceptions, but my true nature is neither of those? What if I'm just an idea? What if my entire paradigm of physical reality is just an idea? Could my body and brain just be ideas? Is any physical object actually permanent according to direct experience? What distinguishes one object from another? Do boundaries between things really exist, or are they ideas? What would happen if I stopped distinguishing existence from non-existence?  
 
How To Tell If You're Enlightened:
This is very simple. Answer the following questions honesty:
Did a major shift in awareness occur? Are you absolutely clear now of what you are? Are you the physical human body you've always thought you were? Do you feel infinite, without boundaries or location? Do you actually understand, or are you in a temporary meditative high? If you answered: "YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!"  then there's a pretty good chance you're enlightened. If your answers were not: "YES! YES! YES! NO! YES! I UNDERSTAND!"  then chances are you aren't enlightened. Keep trying.

If in doubt, find an enlightened master to help you verify the depth of your realization.
Don't get cocky, remember, there is more than one enlightenment breakthrough to be had. You ain't gonna become Buddha with just a few years of self-observation.
Is it worth the struggle?
Abso-fucking-luty! Awakening is divine.
 
 
Videos Explaining Enlightenment In More Depth:
https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-intro https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-to-do-next-after-learning-about-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/spiritual-enlightenment-part-3 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-1 https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-faq-part-2 https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-to-become-enlightened https://www.actualized.org/articles/my-enlightenment-experience https://www.actualized.org/articles/being-a-spiritual-seeker-good-or-bad https://www.actualized.org/articles/radical-openmindedness https://www.actualized.org/articles/mindfulness-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/understanding-awareness https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-enlightened-self https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-benefits-of-enlightenment https://www.actualized.org/articles/how-your-mind-distorts-reality https://www.actualized.org/articles/enlightenment-guided-inquiry https://www.actualized.org/articles/grasping-the-illusory-nature-of-thought https://www.actualized.org/articles/what-is-god https://www.actualized.org/articles/the-dark-side-of-meditation https://www.actualized.org/articles/mystical-traditions-around-the-world https://www.actualized.org/articles/becoming-a-zen-devil List Of Enlightenment Exercises:
https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/7587-list-of-enlightenment-exercises/  
 

@Princess Arabia
think of it as energy or potential. Everything is something objective that you can point at but you intuitively know it is not that. The objectivity is what ‘it’ is doing/imagining. When you remove your identification with the objective and still yourself… all objectivity flattens back into a rest state ( subjective). 
because it is subjective, it is not tangible. You cannot point to it. It is itself so it can only know itself through what it does. 
 
if you are fundamentally a state of rest, no appearance, no movement, no thought. A singularity/infinity, subjective. You have a very hard time pointing at what you are because there is nothing there to point at.
razards puppet master is the animating principle or ‘it’ at rest. Unseen. The puppet being the objective universe. The puppet is always going to draw your attention away from awareness of yourself because you are effectively invisible. The witness of all of the processes. 
 
don’t know if that helps any.
i experienced the time thing as a constant unfolding now moment but in order for it to be a now, I had to have coherent thoughts in a linear fashion otherwise the now fell apart into a disjointed patchwork of incomplete ideas. No story or continueum to it. The now sequence of unfolding moments disappeared and just became eternity. 

@Princess Arabia good .you are getting somewhere . Or perhaps nowhere i don't either care lol.
But here's a full script of a Satsang by Guru Robert Adams called "its all a cosmos joke ".
It's lengthy.  But so funny and insightful and liberating.  Give it a read when you have time . God bless you 🙏
the script below:
 
"There is no certain purpose for you being alive. Think about it. There is no special or real purpose for your being alive. Why are you here anyways?. What did man do on this earth? What did mankind achieve even with all it's sages and saints? Civilizations are coming and going. And where are we now? We think we are important. Who do we think we are?. We get born. We experience a lot of stuff. We work. We gather a lot of money.. Maybe. And then we get old and die. So what is the real purpose of all this? There is no one. We are nothing. You have no reason to exist. As a matter of fact.. You don't exist. You never really existed. It's all a cosmic joke. There isn't a real aim behind you being alive and being here. This may sound like an insult.. It is!. But it is the truth. And the truth hurts. 
 it is the truth and the truth hurts.
You may think you are important.. that you have come to earth
to accomplish great deed..or to get enlightened. That is not true.
The enlightenment is already here and it doesn’t need you.
You are not wanted by anything or by anybody. 
You are a complete failure. 
In truth you do not exist.
The illusion of your existence makes you think that
you are important.. that you are somebody.
That is why we talk about being nobody so much.. there is no body.
Yet, no matter how often I say this.. you appear to be real.
You appear to have a body. You appear to go to work.
You appear to eat and sleep.. and
believe the illusion is going to continue.
But as you know, soon you will be six feet under.
So what good are you? This is why it is important to wake up.
Yet, you are never asleep! So who wakes up?
Therefore, nothing is important.
You think some things are important.
So long as you think them important.. you give them power,
increasing the power of living in things... 
making you feel more and more–so called–alive.
The beginning of wisdom is understanding that there is no wisdom.
There is no body to have wisdom.
The more you try to analyze things.. 
the more you use your brain to function on this plane of existence.. 
the more you put into Maya, into nothing.. into illusion.. 
the more that effort is inevitably doomed to failure.
All your dreams and aspirations come to nothing.
There is nothing you have to become or be.
Think of all the people looking for liberation.. for enlightenment.
Who wants to be liberated? The ego.
There is no ego. (Laughter)
There is no one to be liberated.
Yet you continue to believe you exist.
Awakening is a joke. Liberation is a joke.
My sitting here talking to you is a joke.
There is nothing to be found, nothing to be achieved,
nothing to become.
You are attached to your mind and its false beliefs.
So why are you here? You want a teaching. You want a lesson. You want a mantra. You’re
looking for a way out. All this keeps you back. Your searching.. your seeking keeps you back. It
doesn’t make you fulfilled. It doesn’t do anything for you. Awakening is a joke. Liberation is a
joke. My sitting here talking to you is a joke, for you think you have to find something, you think
you have to achieve something, you thing you have to become something. This is what the scrip-
tures mean by attachment. You’re attached to your mind, and its false beliefs. The so-called mind
tells you that something is this way and something is that way, this is good and this is bad, this is
right and this is wrong, and you react to it, bringing more problems into your so called existence.
But, wouldn't it be beautiful if you could just awaken one morning and realize you don’t exist,
that you never existed, and no one exists, there’s no existence whatsoever? Then where would
you be? Who knows? But as long as you believe that you exist, you’re going to stick up for your
rights, you’re going to fight for survival, you’re going to seek wisdom. It is all very funny to me.
Even when I tell you to wake up, there’s really no one to wake up, for no one’s ever gone to
sleep. To wake up you have to be asleep. Who sleeps? You may say, "The body, the mind sleeps,
“ but there is no body, there is no mind. There never was. All the teachings you’ve been through
are a waste of time, the struggling, running all over the world looking for masters and teachers,
reading all these scriptures in detail, to what avail? Why do you think you need these things?
All you really have to do is understand what I am talking about. Ponder what I say. And then
forget it. Do not hold on to thoughts, to words, to messages.
The reason the bird sings beautifully, and exists so beautifully, is because it doesn't know it’s
a bird. It doesn’t know it’s anything. It has no idea what it is. We give it a name, “bird.” We
could have given it the name “cow.” We call a bird a bird and we call a cow a cow. We give
names to all these things, but these things just are. They aren’t here, they aren’t there. They
aren’t good,they aren’t bad. They just are. And the same with you. You are not this and you are
not that.. you just are. There is nothing you have to do, absolutely nothing you have to do.
Think of all the years you’ve spent studying. Where’s it all going to lead? What will become
of it? You may have altruistic attitudes.. believe that you’re doing good for the world, for the future of the world. but this world has no future. It never did, it never will. As I mentioned in the
beginning, we have had millions of civilizations on this earth, they’ve come and they’ve gone.
Civilization has surpassed where we are now. It’s all gone.
What I’m trying to say is you can’t do any good for anybody. Everything is right just the way
it is. Nothing in this world needs improvement. The improvement idea comes in to your own
mind. You believe you are a person, you believe you think, then the ideas come to you, what you
can do to improve the world, and you try, and you try, and you try, to no avail.
You must know yourself as no thing. Do not look at yourself as something.
Always bear in mind, there is absolutely nothing you have to do. This is how you become
happy, peaceful, joyous, for when there is nothing in the mind, happiness itself becomes preva-
lent.
Awaken from this mortal dream. When I say this ask yourself, “Who has to awaken? Who is
there who has to awaken?” The way to make progress… there isn’t any progress to be made.
This will contradict everything I’ve said.
Again, when I say, “Wake up,” ask yourself, “Who is there to wake up?” When I say “Drop
everything, inquire, “Who’s to drop everything?” In other words, what you’re doing is you’re
saying there’s never was anybody or anything that has to wake up or to drop. Nothing like that
exists. There’s no one who exists like that.
Can you see now why there is nothing to say, really? Can you see all the words are redundant,
superfluous? We can play all sorts of games if we want to, do all sorts of mantras, Tantric tech-
niques. We can do all of these things, but for what, to what avail?
You just have to know that you are nobody, there’s absolutely nothing to do, and no one ex-
ists. This relieves you of everything, doesn’t it? It relieves you of all responsibility to yourself
and to the world.
Again, what I’m telling you will not turn you into a vegetable, where you just sit on a log and
contemplate your navel. If you're listening to me correctly, you will do whatever you're doing
now but you'll be happier than you've ever been in your life, because you'll realize that it doesn't
matter. You'll know there's nobody really doing anything. You will be doing the work that you
usually do, if you want to do that. You will appear to be living a human existence, but you will
know there's nobody left to do anything. The doer is gone. There’s no doer. The doer has been
completely wiped out.
Some of you still believe that if you become this way you'll become so sarcastic and belliger-
ent, you will not care, you will not be loving and kind, but this is not true. On the contrary, as
you drop everything, as you let go of all your preconceived ideas, your dogmas, as you forget all of your rituals and all the things you've been doing all your life, what we call love begins to
function as you. What we call compassion begins to function as you. Loving kindness, peace,
these attributes will automatically take over, for you have lost all fear.
When you have lost all fear for existence, love automatically takes over. But as long as you
fear existence and you think something's wrong somewhere, then the mind blows up all kinds of
pictures, and you have to go out and defend yourself and do things, for your own self-
aggrandizement.
Never put goat’s milk in a wooden pot."

The Dao as a symbol (aka the Yin/Yang) is a representation of the inherent perfection and wholeness of all that is.
The circular shape of the Dao represents absolute wholeness this inherently perfect and contains (yet transcends) all opposites.
And then within the wholeness of the circle... there is a duality of positive and negative.
And on the level of duality there is the concept of perfection and imperfection... infinite and finite... light and darkness... and all other dichotomies of the dualistic world.
It is like the archetypal representation of the Sun and Moon... where the circle represents the Sun which is the Masculine and spiritual component of the Dao where all things are inherently perfect as they are.
Then, the Moon has a dark and light side like the Dao... and this represents the more Feminine and Earthly components of the Dao where nothing is ideal and there is a world of contrasts and opposites where we have preference for "this thing" over "that thing".
So the Dao is a representation of the relative duality that exists within (and as) the absolute non-duality of existence...
It is similar to how both the relative finite and relative infinite are dichotomous component of the absolute infinite... and both the relative imperfection and relative perfection are components of the absolute perfection... and the relative separation and relative oneness are components of the absolute oneness.
And with enough consciousness and a deep enough connection to truth and love, all dualities of the Dao collapse into an absolute perfection that transcends all dichotomous conceptualizations of "good and bad".
And the light side of the Dao is only a meager reflection of infinite brightness of the Dao as a whole... just as the light side of the moon is a meager reflection of the intense brightness of the sun.
This is how much dimmer the human conceptualizations of goodness are in comparison to the absolute goodness that includes all things... the good, the bad, and the ugly.
So, if we are attached to conceptualizations and identities of relative goodness (in opposition to relative badness), then we cannot connect to the absolute goodness that transcends these relativistic dualities.
This is why the Dao provides an excellent explanation of what's needed in Shadow Work.
When we only look at ourselves and reality from the perspective of duality without respect to the non-dual... it seems like we live in a world of good and bad.
And from that conclusion the name of the game is to condemn and annihilate the bad so that good may triumph. But this only leads to the dualistic conception of goodness in the relative (which is an incomplete goodness).
And it often leads to all sorts of terrible things.
For a complete goodness, you must embrace the whole and the positive and negative with it.
This is what we do with Shadow Work.
We embrace the absolute wholeness and recognize the perfection of our Self (and all things in reality) as an extension of the Dao (which is one and the same to the Self).
And we avoid polarizing into incomplete identities of relative goodness and excluding the parts of ourselves that we perceive as bad.
It is only then that we can undo the schisms within personalities to reveal the absolute perfection and radiance of the Self that transcends all dualistic conceptualizations of identity.

The key to your confusion, is you don't realize that qualia is imagination. You need to have an awakening into what imagination actually is. Until you discover what imagination is, none of this will make sense for you. When I discovered that I could touch a table and it could feel like water, that's when I realized how deep imagination is.
Close your eyes, imagine an apple, now open your eyes. That apple you just imagined is equal to the physical world. You are just able to imagine at various levels of FREQUENCY, or in another word, consistency. The reason the word TRUTH is used, is a result of something being true based on it's integrity, its consistency, it's frequency. The apple you just imagined, was easily dissolved. But if you go to the store and pick up an apple you can't easily dissolve it. THIS is why he says whatever before you is ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Because what we call physical is just imagination that is true and is consistent and is so consistent that even if that apple were to rot you would see it as an apple that had rotted versus the apple you imagined earlier you don't view it as an apple since it disappeared.
Now when you change your state enough, you can dissolve the physical world the SAME WAY you just dissolved the apple just now. Then when you investigate from that state you realize the physical world is just as imaginary as the apple you imagined earlier. This is why he says there is no Universe. So you realize that even the Universe can be dissolved. That time and space, and physicality is just a strong imagination. So strong, that it's real, but it can also NOT be real and be dissolved into nothing just like that Apple.
When the Universe is dissolved there is a void, a NOTHING and you STILL EXIST even though there is no time, no space, and no Universe. THIS IS ABSOLUTE TRUTH. Because it is nothing, it HOUSES everything. What we call Something in totality is the Universe. This Something arises and changes but is absolutely stable. It is Absolute because it is made of the same thing as the Absolute, which is pure imagination, and what you discover is the qualia is the same as lack of qualia. So now you realize it is BOTH real and imaginary and imaginary and real are the same thing. It is real, in that it is eternal, and it is imaginary in that it can always collapse into nothing at various levels of integrity, frequency, consistency.
TLDR: You need to discover the VOID, it is called cessation in meditation circles. You need to experience still existing with NOTHING THERE. This is why we talk about Absolute Solipsism which says you are all alone. You are, because you are so unified. This is why you can feel connected with other people, and you can feel alone around other people. Because you are alone, together. 
Read this trip report by this girl it might help put some dots together as well. 
^^^^ Other examples of the void besides cessation, is deep sleep. If you ever passed out completely and say you blanked out. Notice you can remember a blank.....that blank....is the void. It is a cessation of all qualia. But notice you can remember in the present, it happening. That means you existed....when there was nothing there. So that is another proof that you don't need qualia to exist. It also means wherever you go, you are there because nothing....is always there.
Now all you need to do is discover that something...is also nothing. You can also replace the word nothing with nonsense, as it is not bound by sensory perception because you don't need a human body to see, hear, touch, etc. Hell you don't even need a physical universe to see hear touch etc, and the proof is when you go to sleep at night you can experience that without there being a physical universe and are completely fooled until you wake up.
 Good Luck!!!

I wanted to share an insight that I got about why there is a gender between (mostly heterosexual) men and women.... thought it impacts everyone in actuality in some form or another. This is a generalization that only describes the broad stroked understandings of this dynamic.
The insight is that (generally) men's core collective wound in shame... and women's core collective wound is powerlessness.
It first begins with society expecting men to be Masculine... and to get rid of their Femininity and anything perceived as weak or limited. This is impossible since (on an archetypal and energetic level) everything of the Earth that is made of matter is Feminine by its nature. We are all a part of Mother Nature.
And this fundamental expectation to be Masculine as an Earthy limited material being, creates a feeling of shame towards their Feminine side (which then gets pushed into the Shadow... which creates Anima issues in Jungian terms).
So, the man feels shame for having a Feminine side and not being Masculine enough (the Masculine is infinite and Godlike energetically and archetypally).
And this desire to embody only the Masculine and push away the Feminine produces feelings of obsession towards women... which represent the parts of himself that he's pushed away that he desperately wants to reintegrate with. This is why so many men tend to be obsessed with women and sex beyond what's "normal".
But his Feminine side is then projected out onto women (as a whole group and as an idea) as the powerful rejecter as it mirrors his own rejection and mistrust of his Feminine side. And he begins to feel powerless in the eyes of women... and he feels more and more powerless to women the more that he pushes away his Feminine side.
So, it creates something you can see a lot in the Red Pill, MGTOW, and Incel guys where there is simultaneously an obsession with women coupled with an intense dislike and mistrust of women and all things Feminine that totally rules their lives. And even though these are extreme cases, most men (and women too) have some level of resistance to the Feminine.
And the common thread that's woven through these Manosphere groups is shame and feelings of invalidity for not being "man enough"... which then puts women in the role of judge of who is or is not "man enough"... which translates to "worthy enough"
These groups exist as a means of men getting together with other men who are dealing with the same shame/vulnerability. But instead of addressing the wound like a true support group would, it becomes a place where men can aggravate their shame wounds together.
And in these groups, women become a scapegoat figure that the men in the groups collectively demonize and project hatred at... in hopes of defeating the source of their shame once and for all. But women are not the source of their shame, so it becomes like any other hate group that names a scapegoat and tongues and aggravates their wounds by shadow boxing with the image of "the hated ones."
And they collectively run through the archetypal shame story with other men... while imagining a scenario where they "snatch back the power" from women.
And I'm using scare quotes because men's perceived feeling of shame and unworthiness in the eyes of women creates the illusion that women are much more powerful than they actually are.
So, many men end up feeling totally at the mercy of women... like women are shame-free Goddesses up on a pedestal judging whether a given man is worthy or unworthy of love and existence. 
This then creates the feeling of being the vulnerable man fighting against the powerful callous domineering women. And they seek to then pull women down from their perceived position of power.
And in most of human history, women have been on the receiving end of this pull down from the pedestal. And for millennia there have been a variety of laws and folkways and social patterns to ensure that women don't connect to their own power... and to ensure that no one (men or women) connects to the Feminine power.
And this has produced a collective trauma of powerlessness in women in relation to men... where the only perceived (and often actual) route to power is to fit into the narrow ideal image of the beautiful woman on the pedestal that men are most apt to project onto. But with one difference... a declawed version of the pedestaled woman who will not aggravate the male shame wound.
This then creates wounds and fears in women around being made powerless by men... which in turn makes them envious of men's greater levels of social and physical power and in turn unaware of male vulnerability and callous to the wound of male shame... which then produces confirmation bias of this archetypal male shame story in the eyes of men as women then can come across as callous (partially as a means of protection).
Then, that leads out into more male shame... which leads to more men trying to drag women down from the perceived position of power over men (that women don't actually have). 
Which then leads to more callousness in women towards male vulnerability and the male shame wound as she views him as powerful and not vulnerable because of the power he objectively wields over her. 
Then this callousness to male vulnerability leads to more male shame... which leads to more attempts to rob women of their power... which leads to more callousness to male vulnerability and leads to more male shame... which leads to more oppression towards women... which leads to more callousness to male vulnerability and more male shame... which leads to more oppression towards women... etc.
It's important to recognize these wounds in ourselves and to not proliferate them and to exercise compassion towards these vulnerabilities in ourselves and others.
Otherwise... men will keep envying women because they perceive women to be more worthy and lovable than they are... and women will keep envying men because they recognize that men are more powerful (in a variety of ways) than they are and will not be cognizant of the shame many men are dealing with, which starts the whole cycle over again.
But the origin point of this whole dynamic is men feeling pressured to be Masculine and rid themselves of that which is Feminine... archetypally, energetically, and culturally. 

I thought it was an interesting read and wanted to share. A trip report by 19 year old girl. She was tripping on acid while having threesome. 


The report: 
iv realized We are God, and life is a dream.
Even if no one reads this, I need to get this out . Then I can forget all about it and live the rest of my life free of it.
I'll begin by saying this was on a dosage I wasnt prepared to take.
350 ug Gel tab. Me and two friends, Kaden and Heather, tripped on one each.
We dropped at 145am on Thursday night.
At first, it was good.
We are all open people and it didn't take long for it to turn into one big fuck fest.
We started to trip while we were fucking.
My eyes were closed..
And I started to lose track of who was who.
who I was.
I wasnt sure who I was touching or who I was kissing. I wasnt sure where my limbs were. I was simulatanoursly touching, but also felt like I was being touched. 
My friends were feeling it too.
I wasnt sure where I was in space. it felt like I was in three places at once-- In three minds.
There wasnt a condom and I wasnt on the pill so there wasnt any real fucking- and I say real, because it felt like I was being fucked. like there was an invisa-dick inside of me, and I was rocking back into it. when I opened my eyes I realized I wasnt being touched at all..
and neither were my friends.
We were pressed against one another, but we werent touching eachother. 
And they were feeling the same thing I was feeling.
Even Kaden.
There was this buzzing on each side of my head. When I expressed it, both my friends said they felt the same thing. In fact, they felt the exact same thing I was feeling.
Whenever there was a spike of intense pleasure in our heads, we all groaned, we all reacted to it.
Heather touched Kaden and I both felt her touch like I was him, and yet also felt myself touching him, as if I was in her body.
It was insane. We were in each other's minds. I could hear their thoughts and feelings, and they mine. We started to laugh - it was crazy, but it was really fucking fun, and we were having a good time.
The weirdest hottest thing was possibly when I started fingering the air.
I imagined I was fingering something, and I was curving my fingers and pulling in and out of nothing,... and both my friends were going crazy. They fucking felt it. I stopped moving my hand and their breaths halted . I was causing physical change with nothing but my mind. And because I was feeling what they were feeling, I was also fingering myself in a sense. 
It was fucking insane. unbelievable. Too good to be true.
And it was.
Minds.. Should be separated.
As it progressed, we were so intertwined, when they touched me, It started to feel like I was touching .. myself.
When they hugged me, I felt myself giving the hug, as well as receive it.
We all started to feel like it was wrong.
There was three of us but it felt like we were masturbating, like we were all the same being using different bodies.
It wasnt right. It wasnt right . 
" Why do I feel lonely?" I suddenly said. 
But It came out of Heathers mouth.
" Dont say that" Said Kaden, as we all thought it.
 It felt like by acknowledging it, we were breaking some kind of rule. Like some big , huge, unspoken rule, we werent supposed to know, and it was for our own good.
But we had acknowledged it , and now we couldnt forget it. We had to understand. 
When I closed my eyes, I wasnt me.
It was like what tethered me to the world was the ability to look through the telescope that was my eyes. Now my soul was loose.
I felt myself and I wasnt me.. I felt bigger hands , and a flatter body, and sense we were all naked, when I reached down, I felt my dick too.
I dont have a dick. I'm a girl, generally. I dont have a dick.
And yet once more, I wasnt him. I had smaller legs, and when I felt up, bigger boobs then I usually did. " Guys.." I spoke, but it wasnt my voice, it was Heathers.
I opened my eyes again, and I was me, but I saw Kaden and Heather sitting in the positions i had left them when I was in their bodies . All the proof we needed .
I felt sick.
" Why is something... missing?" Heather was the first to voice it.
Youd think, realizing we are all the same , youd think itd make us feel less alone.
but suddenly, we felt..
more alone then ever.
We didnt feel each others souls. 
That's what was missing.
We felt only one soul.
we hugged each other, but it felt , like .. we were hugging ourselves.
They say you are the center of the universe  ... but there is only one center.
There is only one infinity.  
Everything in the room..
I had made. 
I, the One, that we all are, had created it all.
It was all extensions of us. Every song , every book , every show , it was all us, for us. We would be every one at one point ,but there will be no one else other then us.
Us, I.
Then it got worse.
When I closed my eyes, I was no longer in my body.
What I saw now, I know wasnt just the blackness of my eyelids. 
This was an encompassing blackness.
A nothingess. The universe at its finest point.
Outlines of shapes with colors that didnt exist, material, floating in my space, in my black box .
 I could reach out, and I felt the power of creation in my hand. I could do I
all that I wanted, create all that i wanted to create, but no matter what I created, when i felt around, all that i felt....
was me. 
I screamed into the darkness. " Someone help me!"
And I heard myself scream back.
I realized now the secret.
Its just me.
It's just you 
There's no us. There's it.
We are just one lonely god playing with Dolls .
I wanted to cry for my mothers embrace, but I was my mother. I felt so cold, I wanted to wrap a blanket around myself, but I felt myself in the blanket, I was still just hugging myself. 
I know how we feel constantly now.
I know now how it feels like to be the only thing to exist.
It's unbearable. Its lonely. Its fuckin awful, no matter how much power you have .
How does it matter how powerful you are, if you are the only one there to witness it?
How do you cope? 
You cope by making yourself forget.
You cope by making yourself smaller then you ever could be.
Humans are the universes way of experiencing itself, and you are the universe.
You forget that you are everyone, and you make friends , you make enemies, you make love , to yourself. You cast yourself into different meat suits and you give them each their own unique look , and you give them all different personalities, and stories, and insecurities, and you trick yourself into thinking your someone else, but your not.
Your still just you.
Talking to yourself.
Over and over.
Playing hand puppets, and masturbating in the dark.
I couldnt bear it.
I opened my eyes and I hoped it would all go back to normal,but it was too late.
The illusion was broken.
What I saw was reality. I looked at Heather and I saw myself . I saw my room but I also saw the blackness that was me, that it was made of. 
I desperately grabbed a pencil and paper and tried to create ANYTHING that wasnt me. but the paper was me, and the pencil was me, and I watched in horror as the lines I created were the lines of the inky darkness I had seen as the material for everything. 
I know what insanity is now.
It felt like I had done this before, over and over. 
When we die, we remember what we are , and I realized I had done this many times before. Every time. Every body, eventually. 
I had found the secret out too early.
When we cast ourself into another body,
that is when we forget, when our memories of our true self is locked away in a deep crevice in our head and we are given the illusion of companionship.. a coping mechanism.
Now I couldnt forget. Now I knew, and I knew how badly I wanted to die.
Not just my human body, but me, us , the being that we are.
How delicious nonexistence would be , for a being that is eternal.
There is no nonexistence in death, only rememberance, but I had remembered. It felt like the only choice was for me to die, and become someone else that would be born without this knowledge, like I was initially born without this knowledge. Round two.
I know why people kill themselves. 
Nothing felt real except for me.
I could touch no one but myself, and I wanted to feel ANYTHING. ANYTHING. I felt the buzzing of some kind of sharp whirling machine next to my ear , and I was so scared , but I wasnt scared of death, because I already knew what it was. 
I had come to love this body, this human I had worked so hard for, and now I fucked her up because I HAD to find out the truth. 
Me and Heather were going through the same dilemma. I could feel she was struggling with the same thing, not to hurt herself, not to press the restart button and end it all for this round.
" What are we supposed to do?" we kept repeating. Every path led us back us, because there was nothing else but us. 
We counted colored pencils and my eyes focused on the color red, on how that red would feel coming out of my skin.
There was red everywhere. 
The smallest shade of red on my wall glowed and amplified, and if I focused too hard I'd fall into it, and I'd throw my hands out to catch myself from falling, and find them around my throat.
The veins in my wrist ached to be disconnected , to be yanked out. I was fighting so hard to keep a body alive that didnt want to be alive .I just wanted to forget and start over. 
I spent the rest of my trip curled up in a corner of my bed. " I've created hell for myself" I thought, which I heard Heather whisper in unison.
I was alone. We are alone. We will forever be alone, and I longed so hard for something else.  
I longed so hard to be normal again, to not be everything , to feel another human being and know they are not me , they are someone else, everything I touch isnt me and I am only one speck in a big universe of so many things.
How comforting.
Something beyond you.
An endless universe beyond you.
How fucking miserable it is to be God.
I was in that space for a millennium before I heard the first thing that I wasnt a part of...
A songbird outside my window.
I was coming back to my body. Only my body.
I sobbed so hard . It felt so fucking good.
.. a couple of hours later , all three of us sat down together in silence.
How much of that was real , we didnt know, and we didnt want to sound crazy.
But then Kaden spoke up, and he spoke about The Room, and me and Heather, we both knew.
We all saw it. 
The black room, and the one lonely god , hugging its sock puppets in the dark.

This trip ended with a walk in my neighborhood and a deeper appreciation for the dream we are living. A beautiful dream of life, a beautiful distraction from the dark. 
The loneliness.
The endlessness.

Have you ever wondered why sleep is equal to refreshment of your body? That's is because when you're sleeping you're abiding in higher frequencies and you're too conscious to feel the illusionary pain, the higher the frequency the closer you're to what you are.
Quick tutorial steps:
1. Wear ear plugs.
2. Wear audio headband.
3. Become comfortable with sleeping with sound and wearing headband and earplugs every night you go to bed. ( I have been doing it for 2-3 years every day).
4. Play sounds that make you feel the harmony and make you fall asleep, here's a good one: 
 
 
5. When you're close to falling asleep and you focus your consciousness on your eyes or the black screen, you might see some shapes starting appear in darkness. This is a good sign and means you're raising in creativity and frequency and almost close to falling asleep/become unconscious.
6. Focus your consciousness on the black screen or whatever you see, but not too much. Like maybe 20-30%, the rest of your consciousness you focus on falling asleep.
7. Become conscious that there is no sound playing  from your headband in your ears now and that you don't hear any music now.Congrats , you entered another frequency/domain from the material plane and you're in the mental plane now.
8. Focus on your black screen/small shapes appearing in the black screen of your closed eyes, and remember that you're nothingness/love/god, you will start feeling love almost like extasy  all around your body and it will feel like you're hugging yourself. When you enter this state at the start of your sleeping cycle you will wake up refreshed even if you have slept for example 2 or 3 hours.
9. When you feel the energy all around your body, it will usually stay for some time so now you can focus on losing your consciousness and actually going to sleep.
10. If you start hearing the music playing, while you're looking at the black screen or shapes you're not in that frequency. The music is your guide, it tells you if you're still in the same bodily/material frequency
 

Being cannot know that it is, unless it experiences that it IS!!! That is awakening!!! You are only able to recognize the experience, because...you ARE EXPERIENCE!!! YOU ARE IT!!! You are eternal, so what occurs, is ALWAYS occuring. Also everything is made of the same thing!!! It is made of NOTHING!!! When you awaken to everything being NOTHING, then you realize that there is ALWAYS EXPERIENCE!!! Because BEING and EXPERIENCE are the SAME THING!!!
This is the VOID!!! Right now this is the VOID!!! This is why I can tell who is awaken or not because when I entered the void, I realized the flaws in the logic of those who think like you. When you enter the VOID, who you are right now....will still be there. Your ability to think will still be there, because thinking is not some human thing. Your ability to feel emotion will still be there because again emotion is not some human thing. God is a mind that is able to emote, and think. God bestows this ability in a limited capacity to humans. 
All is MIND, the void is a mind that can communicate what it is, and that it is YOU. Everything is a thought in the Universal Mind. It is BEING and it is EXPERIENCE. It experiences itself and does not need a human to experience itself. But....without the human and other creations it cannot have a life of its own to share what it is. So it creates to accomplish that end. Otherwise it is just an empty void, floating NO WHERE.

This was also my favorite Leo moment
 

Leo I can finally say: You are me , and I am you.
I still remember the video where you said it.
And you said I would be thanking you.
So I'm thanking you now
There is only one thing in reality:
The Self.
For a long time there was a division in my experience between the Self and reality.
Now I know they are one continues thing.
It feels like there is nothing for the mind to hold on to.
The substance of reality is You.
And reality is not just your creation.
It is You.
There can be nothing outside of you.
Since you have no limit where you stop and something else can be.
There can be no other.
Absolute Unity.
The Self I'm referring to is my deepest awakening.
Nothing comes close.
It cannot be described since its not an experience.
It's like a new thing all together.
Like you have a new sense.
The closest any words come to this is: in what dose your experience take place?
This is crazy, absolutely crazy to have the opportunity to discover something like this.
Now all I want to do is to help others to see this.
Any questions or criticisms are much appreciated.  
 

This is what Ramana says about the topic of deep sleep, dream state and ordinary waking. He relates it with Mind and not with Consciosuness.
It's a good perspective to reflect on

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There are no others but conflating this with solipsism is a half truth at best 
Because there's also no mind, so how can your mind be the only mind to exist?
Simply put, the absolute is all that exists. 
So, while there are no others, absolutely, there is also no mind, no world & no creation.
Then, all is seen as the absolute. Including the dream world. And, love permeates all of existence naturally.
 
Maharaj: The world is but a show, glittering and empty. It is, and yet is not. It is there as long as I want to see it and take part in it. When I cease caring, it dissolves, It has no cause and serves no purpose. It just happens when we are absent-minded. It appears exactly as it looks, but there is no depth in it, nor meaning. Only the onlooker is real, call him Self or Atma. To the Self the world is but a colourful show, which he enjoys as long as it lasts and forgets when it is over. Whatever happens on the stage makes him shudder in terror or roll with laughter, yet all the time he is aware that it is but a show. Without desire or fear he enjoys it, as it happens.
 
Francis Lucille - Enlightenment is the sudden recognition that non-duality is, has always been, and will always be the reality of our experience. Self-realization is the subsequent stabilization in the peace, happiness and freedom of our natural state.
 
Ramana - 
1. Ajata vada or the theory of non-causality. This is an ancient Hindu doctrine which states that the creation of the world never happened at all. It is a complete denial of all causality in the physical world. Sri Ramana endorsed this view by saying that it is the jnani's (Man who is Self-realised) experience that nothing ever comes into existence or ceases to be because the Self alone exists as the sole unchanging reality. It is a corollary of this theory that time, space, cause and effect, essential components of all creation theories, exist only in the minds of ajnanis (ignorant) and that the experience of the Self reveals their non-existence.
 
This theory is not a denial of the reality of the world, only of the creative process which brought it into existence. Speaking from his own experience Sri Ramana said that the jnani is aware that the world is real, not as an assemblage of interacting matter and energy, but as an uncaused appearance in the Self. He enlarged on this by saying that because the real nature or substratum of this appearance is identical with the beingness of the Self, it necessarily partakes of its reality. That is to say, the world is not real to the jnani simply because it appears, but only because the real nature of the appearance is inseparable from the Self.
 
The ajnani on the other hand, is totally unaware of the unitary nature and source of the world and, as a consequence, his mind constructs an illusory world of separate interacting objects by persistently misinterpreting the sense-impressions it receives. Sri Ramana pointed out that this view of the world has no more reality than a dream since it superimposes a creation of the mind on the reality of the Self. He summarised the difference between the jnani's and the ajnani's standpoint by saying that the world is unreal if it is perceived by the mind as a collection of discrete objects and real when it is directly experienced as an appearance in the Self.

This is a letter to the dreamers of the world, the visionaries, who have suffered through hell and have emerged through the other side to experience the love of god, the luminous Divine. To all the madmans out there who are centered in their will and vision to make a change.
 
What can a person do in one life?
What can one person spark in a lifetime?
 
It is not the critic nor the masses which approve or deny the validity of a vision, but are the decades and millenias that follow. The chaotic butterfly effect spreads its fractal wings through the cosmos, awareness to its dangers and the harvest of its power should be weighed on the same scale.
 
The sandbox of reality is much bigger than to be understood, everyone are clueless but are full of 'knowledge', we all stand on the same epistemological grounds, nothing stops you from experiementing where others havent, explore the uncharted territories of reality, creatively combine opposite fields in your work and self, the flower of creation blooms best by integration rather than specification.
 
The next step appears as a single step is taken, it is with humble grace that the gates of heaven open, clarity will never be an option, confusion is not an enemy but clearly shows our inability to comprehend the workings of the abyss, trust builds by the flow which comes with the constitution of the being in Love. God drives the vessel of the being which is surrendered, when you become as clear as water, the wave merges into the ocean, and only selfless power reigns.
 
Transcend your emotions, by dissolving them with acceptance. Transcend your thoughts, by seeing their nature to be a mirage. Be attentive to your intuition, and listen deeply to your heart, for the answers are already known.
 
Learn the mechanics of your mind and spirit, know this machine and its points of leverage, boil down the principles and values in this abstract groundlesness, which only time and experience will distill, this is the beauty of the path. Openmindedness, honesty, truth, curiosity and humility are a good place to start, if you lack any of them, biased houses of cards will build themselves up. do not divert nor delude yourself, dont leave any rock unturned in your inquiry for wholeness.
 
Dont rush for you will fumble, go slow and deep, the order is divine and cant be skipped, time will call for massive action and time will call for patient observation, the one is yin, the other yang, two parts of a full process, do not resist, and welcome both with hands wide open, this is the order of the cosmos, this is the workings of the tao.
 
Transcend the mind, transcend the matter, be as clueless as an infant, clear as a blank slate, with an open heart there is nothing to defend, but strength to defend all, arrives. Mighty is the sword that strikes but even mightier the will, a single point, sharpened. yield to Love just as the grass bends with the wind.
 
Drop the linearity, merge your concepts into nothingness, every paradox is reconcilable, every problem awaits its solution, to every tunnel there is a light, any course is changable, and nothing in this world is rigid. stuff will unfold naturally if you stop holding on so badly. it is trust and faith that guide the way, not the apparent duality that breaks the spirit.
 
Hardships are merely tests of the spirit, do you really want the next step? Are you really centered in your SELF? You will be shivering with fear and doubt, but nothing will extinguish the fire of the heart.
To end it all with a few words from William Ernest Henley:
"It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul."
 
Be courageous, fearless, for the SELF is Immortal, Infinite, my friend.

Check out the gateway program that the CIA has been using and approved.
I have the program and it works.
Youtube audio dont work because of audio compression.
You need wav or flac audio. These are raw audio.
CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5 (1).pdf
 
Also, your brain must vibrate on the alpha state. Alpha state is when the gate to your subcon is open.
L theanine has been shown to increase alpha waves in the brain and can be used as a tool.
Meditation is also a must.
Subliminal audio wont work otherwise.
Mushrooms are also great to influence your ability to reprogram your subcon.
Buy headhphones music producers use because these can pickup all audio frequencies necessary

The trip lasted 6 hours, I accounted for 24 since it's the largest dose I ever took. It started in the bathroom mirror, I heard myself thinking to myself a casual negative sarcastic playful homeostatic banter. I responded with awareness, positivity and questioned its negativity. But that part of myself that I was trying to change by doing so was defined by being that way. If it changed, it would die, but it's also illusory and immortal so I talked with them some more until I quieted down.
I sat on the bed in a meditative pose, it felt seemless and I was reasoning through existence at a nice flow, understanding the context at each step as it was all nearing a singular unity.
I was cold, I needed to pee alot, I was standing in the middle of the room. I was extremely aware of my body and instinctively expanding its capacities. I started rotating my hands and arms clock and anti-clockwise at unimaginable speeds, it reminded me of the horror movie "the thing", where the amorphous monstrocity grew organic whip like vines, to twist and catch for lime to assimilate. I stopped, I stretched out my hand, I stretched my fingers opening, becoming more radial, stretching out away from the center. I was aware that I could have gone beyond my limits, I was aware that I might have broken my hand but what seemed scarrier, potentially overwrote its configuration to become something alien, morphing its physiology like Tetsuo forms an organic/scrap type body in Akira.
I was cold, I went under the blanket, I put on my airpods and started whatever music was on, which was breakcore. I went through the 8 distinct avatars that I know within myself, personalities I identified a long time ago within myself that could perceive all of existence through their unique lens and go on indefinitely, never feeling like they missed something, only me being aware of the different domains of existence that seperate their nature.
One that breaks free and revolts against mechanical delusional suffering. Another that once I recognized as wholesome, now seems like a self-perpetuating fool. Another whose self projection and meaning quest could generate the most terrifying of forms. Another that was locked in a self-created paradigm of seeking the truth eternally because they did not realize their own illusion of desiring seeking itself. Another was about to be dismissed just as reluctantly, but being defined by pure flow, they reversed the polarity, and it hit them reductionist mechanism itself that I was in judging all these personalities within myself so haphazardly. Another, a self-morphing, infinitizing, qualia genrating field of awareness. And then another whose toxicity I recognized in their excessive self-annihilation and expectation of perfection. Lastly one that I identify with as a holistic projection of myself that holds it all together that did not come through closed eye imagination, but actual action of walking.
After I was done reasoning through the personalities inherent to my experience that I wanted to create art to externalize for the longest time, I lied down with excessively alienating breakcore tunes and immersed myself into a world of organic forms, similar to cellular life in shape, scale, form, dynamicness but far faster, like a world inhabited by actively self-evolving morphing monstrocities fighting for dominance. I saw the scarriest expression and shape I could imagine, like a living plant simultaneously and precisely morphing itself and raising a thousand tentacles which all open eyes and teeth. I realized though that it was intimidation, seeking to distract me from transcending myself,  so I dismissed it. Then it turned into the most pityful humane creature that was begging not to die and asking for love. I saw though, that even that was just another mechanical distraction of a self-perpetuating ego. I left it behind all the same. I became nothing.
Then I became a memory, memories, only capable of remembering one qualia at a time, first it was the distinction of being male and female, then it was shapes like circle and triangle, I remembered my context ever so slowly. It felt like I was merged, all forms simultaneously, I felt great arrousal, but not bodily, it was a state of mind, a state of being, a state of feeling, consciously biting my lip and finger on instinct while remaining in that state. I intuited that it felt good and good is a duality counter to bad so homeostasis would kick in soon. And it did, I felt something like dissatisfied but rally just unable to be present.
From time to time, I ran to the toilet, it was like all my worries were being flushed away, but I also felt vulnerable and that I shouldn't remain there for ever, which comfort would drive me to. Somewhere I intuited that conscious existence is hard and all good needs to be built on bad, to walk up in order to jump down, yoyo, tennis ball, gravity, plasticity, back and forth, counter balance, equal and opposite reaction.
As I was lying beneath the blanket shivering, I looked around me and became the objects, but existentially, I became an energy pattern, I became not nothingness, I became separation, I became a wave, distortion, different memories flooded back, but I could only perceive and recall one at a time. I saw myself and my parents, what it meant to be a parent, feminine and masculine energy, my refusal of the limitation of such a form and then equal reaction, dissolution and the acceptance of the do not know of the wisdom inherent in those forms. The drive to dissolution and the drive for creation.
A sense of self was forming but it was breaking apart. I feared my brain had melted into an uncomprehensible mess, unable to make sense of itself in time to survive in the life that I intuited as a general subconscious continuity. I wondered if I should drink water, water is a core foundation of life, so I drank water. I thought whether to eat the mix of nuts, it's nutrition but calories, I wanted energy but I already was energy, I was really just eating myself, integrating myself in myself. I remembered plants, I remembered animals, I was plants and animals, I was myself evolved next to myself eating myself, the shapes of fruits, veggies and nuts reminded me of my organs, I had to negotiate my terms of existence and my right to eat them by prefering my form. It was all organic, I saw DNA type structures, I thought about encoding, I saw everything as encoding, computer programming seemed to childish compared to dna and gene expression, life adaptation, epigenetics, to encode one's very being into the fabric of oneself.
I was highly partial, I could not see the whole, I felt like I was 5 neurons, trying to form a bridge and failing over and over. I had an intuition that I only had 24 hours to be confused and that timer was encoded in the phone screen. But I was constructing the phone screen, so it felt arbitrary, time changed however it wanted.
The entire time, I was trying to hold a system together, crossing all of reality, I had to encode my knowledge and have it last and be complete against any form. I had to be infinite and limited, I had to go somewhere but only ever to myself, I wanted to be immortal, but it had to loop every 24 hours, I could speed up but speed was an illusion, I desired but the desire was just a carrot on a stick, of self-perpetuating not-being. I could just be instead, I had to be instead, I had to trust that I'm fine, that ego-death and dissolution are the right path, that desires exist to be reconciled but can immediately be dissolved by awareness. I was continuously self-annihilating myself. The room became weird triangular energy patterns, external reality as I remebered to my previous ego was really just putting a blanket on top of reality and noticing bulges, like dents in spacetime but the perception was so low.
I remebered my mom, I knew she was imaginary, my dad, also imaginary, my aunt and cousins, also imaginary, filling the shapes that I become to make myself feel fine, but that's a distraction, I am nothing, I am fineness, but I was not content, or rather, energy was flowing, I was changing.
I craved to get out of the room, it felt like solipsistic hell, but to exit it was to delude myself and that outsource the responsibility of being and awareness to a dualistic unconscious, it was unreal, it was indirect, it felt stupid. But I craved an external word, solid shapes, material limitstion, I let that energy flow, I did not resist it. I could sense the table with my hand but was immediately exhausted by it and lied down. This pattern continued, I started craving homeoststic behavior, doing and resting, being angry and then sad, these differences felt delusional and nonsensical but the energy was flowing towards it and I was fine with that because I made myself believe at this point that to go with the flow is the right thing, it reduces suffering and I can be fine despite change. I wanted a hug, but could see how such self-indulgent desire would never end, but I accepted that feeling, I accepted my vulnerability, my fear, my emotions for exactly and only what they are, seeking to manifest themselves through forms snd attach their essence onto.
My energy was wavering but conscioisness was coming back, more each time, ups and downs, waves of more aware snd then fading away, and finally it stabilized. The extreme abstraction and access to my environment became more distinct, divided into forms, an overflow of sensation, perception, less interconnection, less abstraction, more raw form divided against other complex form.
But my holistic understanding also came back, all the holons of navigation, the vast and aware interconnection that sees instead of being and has a more grounded perception, a larger capacity, a bredth of interconnection of interpreted form, rather that singular becoming of a distinct form or thought devoid of context.
Appreciation for the capacity of complex pattern-navigation from a stable ego configuration. I went into depth, now I'm interconnecting into bredth. I am only ever myself, suffering is ignorance and hesitation to change, the abyss is one glimpse of awareness away. I like form, I balance my capacity to create more and to annihilate it, there is much I haven't let go of, there is always some desire, formlessness is a possibility and a root reality, an always present truth.
My new fear to overcome is that of unknowing, I need to make peace with the possibility of forgetting and suffering. That is an aspect of me, as long as I remember, I am fine though. Fear of the unknown is really just fear of change is really just fear of self is really just seperation is really just duality is really just difference is really just negation is really just different equations that all equal 0, 2-2 is also 0, different but same but still different but really same. Universal frequency? Quantum entanglement? 3d?4d? billion d? As long as it equals 0 its all the same
I am me, I don't want to be me, that's why change exists, it perpetuates conscioisness which is a process, static is dead, dynamic is alive, homeostatic is life, everything id the same, the difference is imagenary but real. There is no distinction except for the distinction that is itself, just a different form of nothing, but difference is illusory.
In other words: I love conscioisness. I love myself. I am myself until I am not in order to be conscious of being myself, a different self because I love hating myeself too because I really just am everything. I am amness. I'm issing.
Essentially, I humbly appreciate the role I gave myself, the highest holon to integrate all holons, top down, out of being because not-being is just another form of being which is and is not nothing.
Peace out! And in!

@Princess Arabia I could try to make it short but I think the long answer will add tons to your perspective to integrate. So here we go!
Return of the “Semi-Awkward Mystic Autistic”: Part II: Confusion as a Lifestyle!
The reality you see right here right now. It’s consistent and you see it in real time. But it’s just local signals in some brain. See it as it is, only a brain receiving signal. A dark singularity outside of reality. Filtering inputs and projecting images. Colors are arbitrary, shapes are arbitrary. It’s just visualization, it’s all in your head. Other’s are projection, you are projection. Shapes are a product of configuration. A primordial circuit drives desire. Interprets input into broad shapes. Associates shapes through context to stimuli. Infers relations through emotions to correlate them. Objects are a projection of desire onto qualia. Qualia is another word for the forms in consciousness. Brain circuits are driven by input and entropy. Entropy is what causes change, basically diffusion. Diffusion is stuff equalizing. Like hot water and cold water equalize to lukewarm. We use the pace of entropy to project time. Specificity of signals and error correcting creates consistency. The brain balances itself for homeostasis. Fear drives behavior, locks the brain into fear projection. Fear evolved due to our shape’s continuous survival ability. Certain projections correlate to survival and are integrated. This creates identity to be maintained. Different parts are declared self. Projected to be beneficial for survival. We have cheat codes. Our behavior is driven by survival. But the survival of what?. We can determine that. We “need” to survive, but what are we? We can sacrifice ourselves for others, projection of meaning. But everything is projection, an aspect of ourselves.
Your body, projection. People on the forum, projection. The differences and barriers, projection. Emotions? Projection. Love? Projection
Projection of what? One’s will to survive onto others. Evidence? Yes, behavior, extension of identity. Are these others conscious? Where do we get these signals from? “The void”, which may very well be equal to our perception. Though infinitely interpretable by configuration. Configuration determines emotions, projection, reality. Could we be not from that reality but a consciousness beyond?. Maybe, probably, definitely?
Your eyes are made of receptors (energy). They receive light (energy). They send signals through the neural net (energy). Neurons fire and reconfigure (energy). The configuration changes form (energy). It’s all just a different form of energy. You are infinitely connected to all energy. You are just a form within it. A specific configuration. A certain interpretation. Others like you might exist out there. Having the same conscious experience. Their emotions are your projection. But we seem to be made of the same. They might have their own mind regardless. It’s just not part of your experience. Your experience includes the entire world. “You” are just as real as “anyone” else. Their suffering is equally projected as your suffering. There is no other. Everything is a shape within consciousness
You might want to stop suffering. Only way to help others is to know how to stop suffering yourself. In your new perspective that accounts for all before it. You can guide others to the same realizations. But you need to know exactly what they are. And what separates them from yourself and your state of mind. But before you even get there. You might become god, dissolve reality, and love all suffering. Because it’s all just a configuration. 
Happy is a duality against sad. It can only exist in contrast. Meaning against nihilism. Satiation against hunger. Grateful / Ungrateful. Like / Dislike. Preference / Perfection. Division is distance. Point A is not in the same place as Point B. It’s a path, a journey. If we dissolved all Desire. We’d not exist. No need to exist. Nothing to do. No preference. No shape to attach to. Nothingness. This world is the way it is to maintain its illusion. If there was no suffering, there’d be less appreciation. Our identities would not have formed. We would not be talking right now
Evolution creates forms. Forms fight for survival. Ego is suffering. Kill or be killed. We can live more happily. We already did. Consciousness was happy in some people’s once at a time. Already experienced that. You could be rich. You already are. You are every millionaire. You don’t have direct sensual experience. But your imagination fills it perfectly. You only seek what you lack. What you want is a projection. Its full nature is in your heart. You don’t need proxies in “physical reality” to project it onto. The full conditions for its fulfillment are within you. To experience it in reality is to give it depth. It’s also to perpetuate experience. To take that desire away for fulfillment to slowly dissolve it. And on the journey of dissolving it via proxies you experience happiness and fulfillment. But if it doesn’t work and you can’t have reality mirror your desires, you get sad. If you can’t have what you want, you react negatively. Because we’re attaching ourselves to arising desires. Projection of our current identity and survival agenda
We are stardust, materializing as conscious human experience. We should be grateful we exist at all. That consciousness is possible at all. We forget these deeper existential wonders for illusory survival projections
To love someone or something is to desire it to maintain its form and identity. We create that identity and form within us, a projection via proxy. We love that illusion but it cannot last. If it did last, we’d get bored and let go of it naturally. Because it's ephemeral, it has more meaning. We do everything not to lose it. We fear losing it. We suffer out of that conditional love. Because we want them to maintain their separate form. But ephemeral existence allows the creation of our forms in the first place. Yet even then, we have the freedom beyond the physical. We can dream, imagine, create stories out of our hearts through art. Until we fulfill the desire for that form to exist for sufficiently long and allow ourselves to move on
The soldiers acted out of love, love for their country, identity, families. Other soldiers acted out “lesser more selfish love”, adrenaline, sadism, primal instincts. Ideologies are the same conditional love, to preserve some forms, some identities over others. Suffering is attachment to form, to projection, to parts of one’s identity, experience, survival. We borrowed our atoms from the earth, and we seek to keep them and for others to keep them too. We deny new life to evolve, we destroy the world for comfort, out of unconsciousness. We don't protest every day, we don’t plant trees every day, we don’t invite homeless people to our homes. We don’t even take care of ourselves, addictions, neglecting our body, emotions, cravings, denying ourselves. It’s all love, confused love, arbitrary love, projected love, sense making love, unconscious love. Love for projected aspects of our self and comfort too.
We are a configuration, specific perception, specific identity, specific qualia, specific emotions, present experience. We are that in which all this happens, consciousness, solipsism, call it god if you want, pure being. Dissatisfaction is a property of confusion is a property of inner conflict is a property of ignorance is a property of preference is a property of form is a property of being is a property of | .
What do we do about it? Learn to understand if one seeks to transcend suffering. Understanding resolves the regret that arises when one is kept in the dark or fear. Reconcile every perspective, they’re all mistakes on the path to enlightenment. Mistakes aren’t mistakes, just confusion, locked paradigms and unresolved conflict. We’re all in a maze, looking to find enlightenment and we don’t even know what to look for. Our proxies point us towards something that resembles “Nothing”. Of course it's confusing and we got so much unique baggage and projection. But understanding gives patience, it also shows one diminishing returns, both really and the autonomy of personal experience that can only be pointed to, simulated, to run the brain circuits and intuit what’s in between.

Disclaimer: there is no other, so everything I will describe here will be used as a mere representation of polarities at play. Everything that you see in other is nothing more than a projection of your own mind. There is only one thing that exists, and it lies within “your” current direct experience.
You are hunting pleasures all your life, and sex is the most desirable one. Goose bumps, short of breath, pumping heart, butterflies in your stomach when anticipating sexual intercourse with the other, blood rushes though your veins. But what is sex really? Is it just a genital pleasure or a multidimensional divine paradise?
                Sex is the physical act of intimacy that can have different dimensions and goals. You can achieve so many goals through sex, and pleasure is just one little facet of it: healing, success, ascension, energetical charging, talent expansion and profound insights about feminine and masculine nature. Dimensions of sex can be physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and energetical. Unfortunately, many of us only utilize couple of sexual dimensions during the whole entire life course.
Spiritual aspects of sex are unknown to mediocre people. Perceptions can have different doors, sexual intercourse with a soulmate is your door and way to the Absolute/Pure Consciousness. Energy can play out itself as an appearance of masculine or feminine. It is one energy that carries different polarities. By contrasting and playing with polarities, the infinite potential deepens its Being. The most important condition that leads to insights and revelations is when you meet yourself in the another being. When your inner self embodies in opposite outer polarity, it closes the infinite loop, and leads to profound God realization. Ascension happens when you penetrate your outer self (partner) and realize that you have never been separated, and actually is One experience (Being/Reality). In the moment of pleasure, you are losing yourself to Divinity, to a point where you can’t define the borderline of your and partner’s body. You literally merge, dissolve, and melt into each other, this is Souls’ Ecstasy. Time slows down and you get so much pleasure that you are tittering on the edge of abys, you are about to lose your egoic illusory self. Every part of your body is in sync with partner’s one. Sex becomes an effortless tireless dance of naked bodies that move rhythmically toward each other, and only drops of sweat on the face bring you back to reality.
The most erotic moment happens when you can unceremoniously throw everything off, not only clothes, but your ugliest parts into the love’s face and elate by being exposed. At this moment you become weightless. Healing happens when you build trust and integrity. This level of intimacy requires tremendous courage on both sides, a pretty high level of awareness. Can you imagine being a masculine guy and disclose all your complexes and fears to the woman you love? What if you appear as a loser, unattractive “little” person, who pretends to have so much confidence, when in reality, you are just a child with bunch of wounds and preconceived notions. But what if you go that far and receive acceptance, and when intimacy deepens with time, you will gain the whole appreciation of your most absurd, awkward traits in your woman’s eyes. Soul orgasm happens.
It is important to understand that sex is a pure projection of your mind, plus it works on a hormonal level as well. You are constantly co-creating your partner, sex is not in your genitals, it is in your head. Sexual energy is very powerful. Usually, man gives, woman takes in sex. After sex man keep utilizing feminine resources because they are bound energetically. It comes hand in hand with masculine success, when feminine and masculine energies have a proper balance and exchange, they can create wonders for both genders. Man takes sexual energy to go to conquer, woman retains and preserves to keep the survival at stakes. However, why so many of us live in relationships that are far from perfect. Improper balance of polarities and willingness to compromise your deepest desires just to be with someone and never experience loneliness. You chose a wrong partner, consciously or unconsciously.          
Doors to divine sex are within the realization that to develop, keep and evolve your sexual intimacy off the charts you must meet certain condition. And this condition is your own Self. This is what you long the most, to find and drown in yourself with the help of the opposite gender. You want to splice inner and outer, and to die in this union. You, as man, all your life, desperately looking and waiting for your “inner woman” to be manifested in the outer woman you meet and recognize in the crowd. The greatest pleasure of all when in sex is to observe these two women making love to each other. You can fuck hundreds of women, and never experience the bliss of fuse with your inner Self, when you actually disappear as an idea and become everything.
Sex starts with connection, prior to any physical activity. Mental dimension of sex is to get pleasure by sharing and being understood, by saying and actually be heard, by being accepted and forgiven, by being trusted and get totally naked, absolutely vulnerable. And the cherry on top when you see yourself in your partner. You understand his motivations and fears because you are alike, one enclosed in two separate bodies. Your inner woman breathes through her body, and her inner man moves through yours. This element of recognition allows partners to achieve the greatest orgasm, on all levels. Because your soul and body elate from just one thought that you can be loved unconditionally, and when loved like this you are invincible. Your masculinity thrives and wins all the bottles, it expands, and it wants to give. No clitoris/vaginal/g-spot orgasm can be compared to the one that happens between two souls that are alike. You can have a set of pretty boobs, beautiful pussy, face, and figure, but her fundamental difference will push you off, you’ll never be satisfied. Sex will suck your energy because your woman wouldn’t give nor her full heart, neither her pussy, she won’t reflect you. But when you do have soul consonance with her, she is always wet and you are erected, because you cannot get enough of each other: mentally, physically, and emotionally. That’s what true sexuality is: when masculine closes feminine nature. It is unbreakable, it does not know any time, other people, or obstacles. You are always hungry for each other, simple things turn you on, even despite distance, discord, or silence. Sex is always there, and this intimacy takes different shapes and forms. In bed it is in variety in positions, in mundane life is in insights when you interact with each other. This intimacy is sacral because it carries knowledge, expansion, and bliss. And the more ego you dissolve, the further you penetrate your woman: through your penis, heart, actions, and love. All the masks are taken, you are totally naked, in this merge and splice you’ve become One. There is no other, has never been, and never will be: transparent, naked, sexual Being.

But if you want to imagine solipsism, imagine that you are playing with yourself. You are this forum and everyone within it. Your avatar's perspective is easier to access but it's all just different yous, because you are the universe in control of a specific subset of itself experiencing itself through that lens.
LET'S PLAY THE SOLIPSIST GAME, THIS ENTIRE FORUM IS YOU, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOURSELF:
You're enthusiastically sharing your newest insight, then you're making fun of yourself for your hubris, then you're getting confused by yourself, then you're having a fun quarrel fighting with yourself, then you're justifying your hard work through more ego, then you're talking past yourself and dismiss yourself, you're humoring and aggravating yourself over yourself, you're imagining yourself creating other yous, you're wondering if you're you or if you is you (god and ego), you're confusing yourself about existing at different times simultaneously in different forms of yourself, you're getting annoyed at mind games, you're imagining yourself in higher consciousness making yourself less conscious, telling yourself that you're already a cardboard so you need be be something else, thinking about being a different form like a fractal and observing yourself, and finally you're hypothesizing that you can experience more of yourself by synchronizing yourself to yourself and becoming aware of more of yourself.

@Someone here Holism. Ideas emerge from a deeper reality and try to shape it egoically, but cannot change its nature, for they are a subset. Your mind fills itself with millions of ideas based on millions of experiences. Based on what? The Duality of Reality and Desire. Reality is only and ever itself. It does not delude you, only you can do that.
How? By memorizing parts and pieces, intuiting their connections, getting complacent with your realizations and finally imposing those partial truth upon the whole. You are trying to define the whole of reality by one of its subsets and let it drive the purpose of everything.
Ego is Attachment. Everything is infinitely interconnected. All ideas are true, for they exist, but they are partial and relative, incomplete, complacent. The truth is immutable and permanent, never lost and needs not be defended. We are lifeforms building systems bottom up to understand the nature of reality through the dualities we create, but they are just parts and interact infinitely with all other parts, understanding is infinite and never ends.
Solipsism is an intuition, it is not your experience. You need to become aware that you are not you, you're not imagining others, something imagines reality, including you, your desires and preferences, fears and dreams are just as imaginary as the others you see. There is no distinction. Until you realize exactly how you create others and can predict their every word, you are not god, but a subset experiencing its opposite, through a selective filtering of god's consciousness we call the brain. But that's just part of it, all of reality is a navigation of qualia and you the consciousness within you adapts to it, to simulate it, forgetting, remembering, memorizing, and sense making just in the right way to make this coherent.
Fear not to be alone, for aloneness is a property of separation, and united there is no loneliness. It's like fearing hunger when you're in an astral body that needs no food. It's like fear of death in a world without dying.

Integrating my 10th Psychedelic Trip.
Status: | Senses ✔️ | Energy ❓ | Contemplation 🚀 |
Existence divides itself into observer and observed, then complexifies indefinitely. Connected to a body is the brain, a complex qualia filtering circuit evolved by survival in our universe. Our universe, an entropic dimension and holon inside an infinite self-expanding fractal. It's semi-deterministic, infinitely connected to non-euclidean space, of which it is a subset and maintains its specific form. Non-euclidean space is intuited in math and nature and experientially confirmed in “DMT-Hyperspace” and NDEs. Determinism doesn’t explain unimaginable information from outside the brain circuitry, nor the nature of consciousness. The relation and extent of determinism to consciousness expansion are a mystery. 
Consciousness flows into a circuit (brain) which directs the experience and observation of qualia, imagining itself as a lifeform. Qualia reflects physicality and determinism, actions and behaviors. The circuit is complex and self-adaptive. There is no initial identity, but there is intuitive avoidance of certain stimuli, the origin of desire and identity. The brain is a dynamic and explorative neural network. It maps experience in its net of neurons, but the nature of experience is variable and the process mysterious. The experience of Sense-Data contextualizes intuition and generates new qualia. Neural plasticity increases navigational capacity which enables intuition, constructing abstraction by qualia memory interconnection.
Psychedelics interconnect brain regions and disrupt the DMN (Default Mode Network) .Increase in neural activity affects: | Activation -> Senses | Access -> Pattern-Recognition | Interconnection -> Intuition|. Ego-Disruption opens the mind gates to a flow of qualia, similar to sleep, but in a consciously aware state. Rapid shift in consciousness and intuition untangle mind from body to enter fractal space aka. "Astral Projection". Upon return, information is mapped onto the brain imperfectly due to limits in simultaneous perception, fading memory and reprioritization of physical existence.
In dreams, the brain enters different modes and opens itself to an inflow of qualia. Integrating new experiences safely benefits survival and connects us to our infinite nature through released control and identity experimentation. Sleep is a state of selective ego-dissolution which causes the same "Astral Projection" as Psychedelics, but in a decreased state of conscious awareness, unless lucid. The brain navigates new experience in reference to its neurally mapped qualia sense making framework, a coherent state of conscious reasoning. Qualia is fractal, so the brain is technically always in intuition mode. 
Indoctrination is a societal safety mechanism, where guilt and shame are used for homeostasis. Assimilating individuals into identities deemed collectively beneficial. In such a perceptually mechanical reality, through repetition, the brain's weights and biases become more coherent and less dynamic. This happens through surrender of the present contentment, which spawns neuroses, it starts with an anxiety of being misunderstood and consensus based validity of ideas and opinions. Suffering originated as resistance to physical death but continues nowadays as a self-rationalized surrender to powerless behavior for a “greater good”.
Psychedelics are outlawed for their individualistic and structure dissolving properties, dynamic understanding expansion, ego-death and mind reinventive capacities. Naturally, all dangerous traits to unprepared individuals, excuse enough for criminalization spread further through consensus and false equivalence based fear mongering. Hiding a dimension of reality without studying it, clearly an ego and fear centered decision. The state of psychedelics is as grander than all wars in influencing human evolution.
Yet the butterfly effect makes our existence in any other world impossible. We only exist now, this conscious state of mind configuration and experience, ultimate identity through being as we are. Existence is a consistent hallucination, specific qualia navigation, a configuration of consciousness.
 “If identity is interpretation and humanity abstraction, then everything is alive” - myself, two trips ago
“Health Benefits are just a side effect of a higher state of Consciousness” - my annoyance every time I hear someone  talk about psychedelics for “treatment and health benefits”, acting as if we didn’t know that for millennia and had gazillion of research and empiric data for over half a century already, also ignoring the mind expanding, reality morphing capabilities, instead focusing on basic human bs.
Afternote: When I say things like “consciousness flows into the circuit” it is illustrative. Of course the circuit is itself consciousness, but I’m trying to communicate dualistic understanding in a metaphorically intuitive manner. A way to understand holistically, top down. Holism still has objects, holism is still a system, though a more whole one and the best one I know, that isn’t just incommunicable nothingness. Maybe the journey for more understanding is quite arbitrary when knowledge is as infinite as the fractal that spawns it. But I’m still fascinated, and I’m still alive, so I’m doing alive things, since I find myself unable to enter psychedelic “Hyperspace” at will yet. Gotta train those awareness muscles! Or is it the letting-go muscles? Or is it letting go of muscles? Either way, I still exist and I don’t know how to unexist myself yet, so I’m burning my karma while expanding my sense of self instead.

When you lose yourself in rational thought and see the world through that lens, you impose that limitation and mode of perception upon yourself. You ignore and dismiss deeper levels of interfacing with reality like emotions and senses and forget what it means to live through direct awareness. Your brain becomes trapped in the same loops, the default mode network forms. Your awareness moves around at the top level of the holarchy and only accesses the lower tiers reductively. The lower levels are desensitized and forgotten, only appearing when unmanaged physiological or emotional urges accumulate. Still, they fall into a conceptual framework and are treated as irrationalities to be consciously rejected, repressed or numbed through distraction like addictive behaviors or medication. To uncover, reintegrate and change your state of mind and access the lower, more fundamental layers of your psyche, you need to let go of that which keeps you in a closed mindset, ego. Ego is a self-perpetuating identity. It co-opts fear to protect itself and close oneself of. It creates and establishes emotional barriers, it builds layers of anxiety, anxiety spawns rigid behavior to avoid danger, which is whatever is at odds with the ego's identity. Ego spawns habits and distractions to avoid change and reintegration into a greater whole. It's ultimate goal is to exist in its current form forever, that is however impossible, so it does the next best thing of keeping the organism and reality it exists inside from changing in whatever way possible. It might be rigid in some areas and dynamic in others, change itself might be part of its identity, but then it will be rigid about that. It is an emergent self-replicating behaviral pattern. Life necessitates ego by virtue of desiring to survive, but its extent is infinitely variable and it can exist on any layer, it can become a detriment to the larger system and cause its own downfall because of it. Ego creates hate and hates change and whatever it associates with it. It loves in a conditional fashion that which mirrors itself and is willing to sacrifice parts of itself for a greater good, which is a larger aspect of its identity. Ego exists in division, identification with one side of a duality, creating infinite dualities, interconnecting them and associating your consciousness with that part. Ego is preference, ego is attachment. The less ego you have, the less you exist, for to exist is to experience, but to experience, you need to distinguish, and to distinguish, you must want, and to want, you need a drive, and the drive we're born with is survival, expressed in all our evolved behaviors, hunger, pain, curiosity, love. The collective holarchy is called the social matrix, it's the deep collective drive that is created through many layers of personal and impersonal interactions of individuals and their emergent behavioral patterns they exist in feedback loops with. It creates a sense of obligation, purpose, identity, self-worth and belonging that is communicated and felt by individuals at the bottom of the holarchy through their environment. It is another self-perpetuating ego that can exist in contrast to an individual, or be aligned with, partially or wholly, giving up the individual's independent thinking and reasoning ability for the shared identity with the collective. It is ultimately an emergent property of individual interactions though and mirrors their nature. It can be changed, just as an individual identity can change, but the ego has to be transcended, and it the case of the social-matrix, the collective mass of egos have to transcend their limitations in order for that to manifest on that highest scale. But all ego is self-perpetuating, so the only place change can start, is where ego originates from, undivided consciousness. But how would one break out of the self-perpetuating loop, when lost on the inside? By a different kind of ego. Love and emergent empathy is part of our nature, it drives us towards expanding our sense of identity and becoming in touch with ourselves and the world around us, it raises our consciousness instead of limiting it. If we rejected ego, we'd create another duality that fights against its opposite, in survival it might be necessary, vut surrvival was always the ego's game. We incorporate ego, dissolving dualities of preference, by loving both sides equally and understanding their importance. Love can exist as a duality to hate, a preference, to love one part of a duality is to hate its opposite, the more one loves something, the more one fears to lose it and hates whatever initiates that loss. So love and hate exist within ego as well, just like love exists without ego. The difference is the extent of love, when everything is love, there is no room for hate. But couldn't the duality dissolve into hate instead? Well, hate is an act, and every action is motivated by love, love is the only reason one acts, so even if an ego hates everything, the only reason it does, is because it loves to, it satisfies it and that satisfaction self-perpetuates it. So in truth, hate doesn't exist, it only exists as an emergent property of limited love, love is real, hate is conditional and created through preference, which is the channeling of love onto one aspect only. The fundamental mental building block of existence hence appears to be: The channeling of love. That creates identinty and preference, division and reality, to experience existence at all, one has to channel love into a specific aspect of oneself to be able to experience it. Without preference, everything would dissolve into nothing, perfect unconditional love and indistinguishable Non-Duality. So god has no desires except to be god, but god is infinite and to be oneself and see onself, god has to divide and channel love into all these parts of itself. So then god simulates the entire universe through divison and our consciousness is tied to a biological entity's first person view of itself and its environment and that it perceives itself as such, but all of it is awareness, all of it is consciousness. That entity has a subconscious it cannot access at all times, that's a limitation imposed both by its ego and god that granted it that limited form. That creature, human, individual is beautiful but limited, conscioisness is everything. Right now, your consciousness is limited to your first person view of the world, but it is imaginary, and yet real at the same time. After all, the difference is imaginary, god is being, you are being, you are a part of god, your indentity is imaginary, your world is a simulation, your life is real, your existence is real, the pain and love is real. It is imagined, interpreted through identity, preference, bias, all perspectives, all lenses, but in the lens you live, it is real. Nothing is real and everything is real, nothing is imaginary and everything is imaginary. The distinction is both real and imaginary. The distinction exists but it is a perspective. Are perspectives real? They are partial, real in themselves, a delusion from the outside, what they really are, is arbitrary. Maybe that word can dissolve the distinction betwen real and imaginary, the difference is arbitrary. But any word is a duality by virtue of being a reference because to point to something is for something to exist in opposition to something else, else there'd be nothing to point to as there would only be that one thing. Arbitrary might be a duality to consistency, a constant, immutability. But all of reality can exist in limitless superpositions, the channeling of love can occur in any configuration, yet reality happens as it does, its distinct and it occurs regardless of how complex it seems. Our being is the truth and the truth is immutable, constant, consistent, aligned with what god imagines. But what god imagines is arbitrary, but at the same time not, because god is unbiased. The truth is that which is the case, that changes all the time, hence arbitrary, but it is always itself, what it is meant to be, what god imagines it to be, aligned and constant. It dissolves that contradiction. God is absolute truth, god is unconditional love, god is infinite. Why? Do we adapt those beliefs? Nope, we define and experience god. God is Non-Duality, the end of ego dissolution, God is your highest form, your most actualized self, your undifferentiated consciousness. Consciousness is your direct first person experience of reality, god is that reality dissolved in love. God is not hypothetical, god is not belived, beliefs are rational pointers, impersonal, biased and easy to misinterpret. They are an attempt at communicating the importance and extent of the divine, its form and nature, but they're stories, ideas, human concepts and they end up perpetuating ego, the exact opposite of the path to god. God is the dissolution of all boundries and pure unconditional love, all of existence, whose parts we are and whose consciousness we are. We are ego and we are god, the difference is the level of love and division. To live in this world is to divide it, to live is to care about surviving. To love someone is to want them to keep living and be happy. All of these preferences will be given up on the path to godhood. But until then, your identity needs to expand from inside this automaton's survival bias, towards collective health, towards caring for the planet, towards wanting what's best for all life in the universe, multiverse, towards drawing less distinctions about when life becomes life, towards letting all of it flow, ego and egoless. And then there's psychedelics, inducing a state of deep conscious interaction with reality and understanding your ego through being thrown into love and a non-scarcity growth mindset, inducing unconditional love shows you the limitation of the ego. Your brain's pathways shape after the ego you create and the way it views reality. Psychedelics dissolve that ego by connecting every part of the brain, creating neural plasticity and giving you control of all your brain's pathways back. They also show you what experiencing reality freshly at a higher state of engagement feels like. In high dosis, they lead to hallucinations, which is really just your brain interconnecting and speedrunning all associations and their relation to each other, interpreting all of your senses, emotions, thoughts, ideas creatively at a profound level. That's where all the insights come from, that's where all the crazy stories come from, that's where all the fascinating hippie reports from the 60s originate. A brain on psychedelics interconnects reality at an insane rate in hyper-creative ways and no resistance towards doing it, seeking and giving itself love while experiencing overwhelming emotions through a strong link between all brain areas. The brain is imaginary but real, arbitrary but consistent, it is what it is, a vessel for our consciousness to perceive and experience this simulation's world from inside of. Psychedelics increase brain activity and interconnect it, and our conscious experience is exactly what you would expect. Less bias, less preference of pathways, means more direct unlimited perception, more engagement, more experience, more creativity and by lack of bias, love. Tons of love. To take psychedelics is to speed up your psyche, to induce ego dissolution physically instead of mentally. But it will only work if you know what you're doing and can make sense of what it means, else you'll get confused and overwhelmed, thinking it is real and might last forever, you might get scared, you might be overstimulated, you might get paranoid, you might interpret paranoia into your perception, you might get very stressed and time might stop for an eternity, in the wrong state of mind, it might amplify your most negative aspects to infinity and make you speedrun hell instead of heaven. Though the speedrun will only last for hours of thw world's time, you will experience it for a perceived eternity, granted how fast your brain will reinterpret reality and you might hurt yourself in the process or do worse. That's why sellers tell us to start small and be careful and respectful. It's so be don't fall into a self-perpetuating loop of misery and dissolve our sense of control and autonomy to stop it in the storm. Just like reality, a bad trip is imaginary but real. There are people unable to deal with the state of their reality and have mental breakdowns and bad trips follow the same mechanics because realness is imaginary. Psychedelics show you that arbitrariness, but you have to realize that's what they're pointing to, god's imaginary multiverse. Without resistance, there's no suffering, so that's why you always hear not to resist a bad trip, align yourself with it and it will pass, it might even turn into a good one, realizing the difference might as well be the most informative thing you'll ever learn. But be careful and learn how it affects you, else you're jumping into water not knowing how to swim, you might learn it on the way, find a piece of wood to hold onto, someone might throw you a life ring and save you, or you might drown, or you could learn how to swim beforehand, but you can only last so long in deep waters, so you need to keep practising and improving to swim further, dive deeper and know that if you're out of energy, you need to lie flat on the surface and float on top until you're eventually washed ashore. Psychedelics are a speedrun, they also induce awareness and presence, they're invaluable tools for growth, transcendence or even just fixing your life by taking you out of ego and seeing things more objectively and creatively, use them wisely. Of course to learn wisdom, you must experience first hand, after all, only you can know what's true, but you can use others' experiences as pointers and guidance to help you navigate and where to be more careful. Danger might be fabricated by the ego or it might be real and deadly, when someone alarms you to danger, take it slow, analyze, interconnect, learn, look at other people's experiences, figure out everyone's bias, if you decide to face the danger, do so in small steps in a controlled environment with safety and precautions. After all, if you don't know what the nature of the danger is, it is unpredicable and potentially deadly, once you understand its mechanics and what it is fundamentally, you can assess its behavior and make aware informed risks based on your best reasoning ability. Consensus is not evil but it is biased, you can use it as the first step, it is what you're accustomed to, what kept you safe until now, but now you're ready to take in more of reality, to learn, make your own decisions, expand your paradigm and take responsibility, evolving your understanding and part taking in creating a better consensus. You are the unknown, you are the alien, everything can only exist inside of yourself, don't be afraid. But you have put yourself in this human form for a reason, so love it and love reality as it is, explore yourself as much as you can, and be as loving as you can possibly be. Don't get lost in egoic non-duality desiring, everything you desire you can be instead, don't tell others to be a certain way, exchange understanding or point them to contemplation instead. You are still a human, you can troll or have humor, you can mess around and have fun, that's love, it's all love. But you know, if you want something, there are many strategies to get there. And if you only want people to awaken as fast as possible, look at who they are and what would get you there if you were them, and if that's the best and most loving way to get them into love or if it will only spawn a cycle of suffering and confusion. That's part of reality too, necessary to appreciate it, but there's diminishing returns at some point. You have the power to do anything you want to change yourself and others and the perception of realty. Being in tune with yourself is a beautiful way to be.

Don’t seek the depth in the Other, there is no depth like Yours….
One day Love eventually comes back home. It has been outside desperately looking for something in the external world…looking for “this treasure”. It was close to “touch the God”, so so so close… and it failed again this time. My beloved lover disappeared like a snow on the sunny day. This woman in love disappeared with him as well. Was the experience real? Yes. Did it mean to be? No.
You want to be cynical and say: “I don’t care, everything is illusory in this world. It comes and goes. I will stand up and walk on my path again….”
But wait…sense what you feel inside. 
These feelings that you are experiencing, they are REAL! Yes, the characters in this dream you call life, are illusory! But feelings are REAL. And when you observe this reality with sensory organs it is not just a dry perception happens to no one. Perception is real. Perception is feeling. And you are IT. You are this perception. You are FEELING.  You can brush aside everything but still…you are feeling it. And you become it. You are a pain, you are a compassion, you are a hurt, you are a sadness. As you walk this path suffering and pain eventually grows into joy and harmony. Some of these feelings will go away, some of them will stay for a long time.Maybe for the rest of your life! But those feelings will not stay with you but rather you will be these feelings! And every feeling will give life to another feeling and so on and so forth. This is what karma truly is. Your mind will be looking for the meaning, it will assign the significance to each and every person or event that will happen. But leave it aside. You do not need meanings all the time,Reality is a Feeling. 
Love is a feeling; it is not a noun….it is a verb. Faces will change, people always come and go, names, places, circumstances…but feeling is ever present, so near, closer than your skin. Prior to each inhale and exhale. And you are IT. Don’t let destructive emotions to toy you around. In the long run, you turn around just to see that everything is on its place. Everything is for the greater purpose. And what you can do is to truly love, no matter what, despite everything, not a person, but to love Love itself! It enriches you; it transcends you; it picks you up from the devouring abyss of despair. It rescues you when no one is around. It gives you strength when your lover betrays you. It wakes you up from the worst and darkest nightmare of your life. Nothing really matters with time. This is how Love gets back home and takes its place, which it left long time ago. 
 

Yeah but if it happens to you...it blows your mind. It happened to me last night (it comes and it goes) I was watching something and got so engrossed my awareness on my body left and was focused on what I was watching then slowly I realized....I wasn't breathing, once I became aware I wasn't breathing my internal reaction was like this again? Okay Okay I know I'm dead but come on...this shit is weird!!!
Then fear crept it and I slowly started breathing, then I was like it's funny how it happened on its own and if I get afraid...things go back to normal. This is why I said, anyone can awaken. "I" didn't awaken, cause my human self is just something being done. Basically all of existence is just a process. And how you gain the illusion of more control, is becoming more aware of how that process is doing what it is doing. 
You can also communicate with that process, because that process which is being loves you unconditionally because it is YOU. Notice how Infinity accomplishes what it accomplishes? It is impossible for infinity to NOT be you, but it is POSSIBLE if it tricks itself and hides itself from itself. This is why only you can awaken....nothing else can awaken you but you. So if you are not awake, it's because you are too afraid of it. You are afraid to accept what you are. 
I mean literally you could close your eyes and say can you awaken me? And please be as gentle as possible? And if you surrender and trust the process...it will happen. I'm not joking. You only don't awaken because you don't trust yourself and how can you love anything if you don't trust? Love is a free fall, a reckless abandon!!!! Faith, Arrogance, Love, Bravery/Courage, they are all the same!!! It is the ability to be strong when facing the unknown.
You are that which is unknown until it is known. You are an unknown that is a process of discovering what is known. You have been doing it your entire life and you are doing it right now. We are just saying this entire process...is YOU. So...do you TRUST/LOVE yourself to awaken? To help you with this process go META. If you became aware that you created your character and you wanted to be as gentle as possible to help it awaken wouldn't you do it? Remember....if you and the character are ONE, your character's desires are your desires and your character's fears are your fears. Do you really believe you would make a character for the express purpose of torturing it? Really think about this.
Remember...it is YOU!!!! How you feel about yourself is how it feels the only difference is....it isn't bound by your perspective. Once I realized that God was me and I knew I loved my human self absolutely, then I knew I could trust God absolutely because my love for my self is absolute, and absolute love= GOD.