Bazooka Jesus

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About Bazooka Jesus

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  1. How do I feel when a girl takes the first step? Oh my god, that's basically been my unfulfilled teenage wet dream, hah! (Even though I was feeling so goddamn insecure back then that I would probably have ran away screaming had it ever happened for real, lol.)
  2. Amazing. You have managed to say in a few short sentences what just took me half a novel to get out of my system... HAH!
  3. 'Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun.' 'There is something in the nature of all play that is not serious but at the same time may be sincere.' - Alan Wilson Watts - --- Hello, my name is Bazooka, and I am a humorholic. Now, this bashful confession should come as a surprise to absolutely nobody who has ever read a single paragraph penned by yours truly; all y'all probably know by now that I love to garnish my posts with tongue-in-cheek double entendre, irony & wordplay and can barely bring myself to write one damn sentence without turning it into some kind of wisecrack. I have alway had a great disdain for all things which are utterly devoid of humor; and as far as my communication style goes, it is nigh impossible for me to say or write anything that is one hundred percent irony-free without being overcome by a profound feeling of awkwardness. Now you might think "cool story bro... but what on earth has this got to do with the price of 5 Meo?" Well, here is the thing: I feel that humor is a deeply ambiguous phenomenon. On one hand, it seems that humor is closely related to truth; it can propel us to free ourselves from an all too myopic and insular point of view (aka the ego's perspective) and instead look at reality from a sort of detached & panoramic bird's eye view. It also has the power to take the existential gravity out of life and transform into a kind of jaunty dance, a kind of free-flowing waltz full of lightness, joy and divinity. In this sense, one might almost feel justified to claim that humor is the true 'language of god' - or at least the one type among all of the forms of human expression that comes closest to a god-like way of relating to existence. I really do feel that humor, in very much the same way as truth, can set you free; can being the crucial word here. I also believe that probably the number one cause of human suffering on this planet stems from people taking themselves WAY to goddamn seriously - an unfortunate fact which to counteract has in a way, consciously or unconsciously, always been my number one holy mission in life, lol. On the other hand, however, it is pretty evident that humor can also be (mis)used as a defense mechanism, as a tool to keep reality at bay, so to speak. God knows I have been guilty of this shameful misappropriation throughout my life... especially during my teenage years, humor used to be my big fat protective shield against life's cruelty; sarcasm and irony being my trusted lance and sword. And as much as I still love to wield all of these weapons in order to spice things up from time to time, I cannot deny that the majority of people that I meet who frequently use irony and sarcasm in their speech somehow seem like 'broken' people to me... or at least there always seems to be something slightly off about them. So there definitely is a dark side to humor that should not be overlooked; like every powerful tool, it needs to be used in the right way lest it turn into yet another tool for (self)destruction. Having said all of this, I still stand by my claim that humor is one of the most precious gifts that a god could ever bestow upon his creatures. So it always seemed kind of odd to me that in spiritual circles, there usually isn't a lot of emphasis on humor at all! I think that one of the things that scares people off when they come in contact with spiritual seekers and teachers is the fact that most of them seem to have handed in their sense of humor at the Ashram's cloakroom and just left it there (or traded them for a pair of Jesus sandals, which would suggest that at least they got something in return). - However, there are of course notable exceptions. There is quite a bit of humor to be found in Zen teachings, even though it is a highly, um, shall we say, idiosyncratic style of humor that leaves most folks scratching their heads in total bewilderment (which is sort of the point) instead of slapping their knees and laughing their butts off. (Not all humor has to be of the gross laugh-out-loud variety; some of my favorite forms of humor are more like a subtle nudge and a wink, slyly hidden between the lines and as dry as a stiff Martini.) And then of course, one of the most prominent spiritual teachers who recognized the divine quality of humor and laughter was Alan Watts, who I adore exactly for this reason! I absolutely love his view of life as a sort of game that God has created in order to entertain itself, and I especially like the emphasis he put on the fine but very crucial distinction between the 'serious' and the 'sincere' way of playing the game; a distinction which I feel is all too often overlooked by spiritual seekers who, in their search for Truth, tend to develop a kind of self-important 'holier than thou' attitude and turn the search into a puritanical pilgrimage instead of choosing to pull the sticks out of their behinds and bask in the hilarious, glorious, joyful absurdity of it all. After all, life is nothing but an incredibly elaborate joke... and you are both the narrator and the butt of it! Sooooo, in the words of yet another prominent truth seeker...
  4. Ugh, no, never got wind of that one... even though I was aware of the fact that Dennis Wilson and Charles Manson used to be BBFs before Charlie sent out his goons to do "the devil's work". Well, as a staunch Wagnerite, I am frankly kind of used to listening to and worshipping divine music that was written by insufferable douchebags, so I am pretty hard boiled in that regard. Heh. Oh boy, there are just WAAAAAYYYYY too many amazing Beatles songs for me to mention... even though I feel that the White Album is slightly overpraised, I adore pretty anything that those guys recorded in the second half of the sixties. To this day, I feel inclined to argue anyone who claims that the Beatles were not the greatest band of all time. I mean, sure, we all know that truth is relative - but come on, it isn't that relative, lol!
  5. I feel you man... I am still grappling with this too. The irony of course is that this fear is evidently and undeniably self-generated; so the most effective way to overcome it is to remind yourself over and over again that you are afraid of something that is literally non-existent in the here and now --- it's no more reasonable than being afraid of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. You are essentially afraid of fear itself! Talk about some effed up strange loop, huh?
  6. Huh? Alright, let's see... "without you, I'd be what God only knows"? HAH! This is kind of the opposite of the alledged Heavy-Metal-song-turned-into-satanic-prayer-when-played-backwards, isn't it? (As a kid, I grew up on a fairly strict musical diet comprised of mostly Beatles and Beach Boys songs... so yeah, this is one of my favorites too!)
  7. Are you telling me that I give you something to aspire to? - Congratulations, you just officially blew my mind to smithereens, LOL.
  8. @Nahm Awww, thanks so much. Hahaha... yeah, to me, this whole process doesn’t feel like work at all! Granted, my definition of work might be overly crude and pessimistic - but in my mind, "work" has always been defined as a supremely pointless and annoying heap of BS that I grudgingly need to dig through in order to keep the fridge running, lol. THIS, on the other hand, feels like the exact opposite to me, even though the road seems kind of bumpy and hard to navigate at times. And I have to say that I am super grateful for all of you guys keeping me on track and giving me something to aspire to! I couldn’t imagine doing all of this without your subtle & discreet (or, in the case of Leo, not so subtle & discreet ) guidance; Dog only knows where I would be right now if I hadn’t left the Doghouse and stumbled upon this place. Gah, to hell with it... as long as I am in this deliciously sappy mood, I might as well go ahead and bring out the big guns:
  9. Yeah, that's definitely also a possibility. Downplaying blessings as well as achievements is part of my emotional defense mechanism that is always trying its darnest to avoid future disappointment. So take everything that I say here with a grain of salt, mkay? Hehehe, that is amazing! I'm happy for you, brother! Keep spreading the word too, my friend.
  10. Turn off the goddamn light and I'm in!
  11. Thanks again for the recipe. Weed helps me a lot with feeling my "painbody". I experience my pain mostly as a sharp and tight knot in my throat (it kind of feels like the straining sensation in the throat and sinus area that you have just before you start to cry); and when I am high on weed, the feeling becomes so intense that it almost seems to burn a hole into my throat - but strangely enough, it's not an uncomfortable sensation at all; it actually feels rather healing (since I don't resist it when I am in this kind of state)! However, it still seems to me that no matter how much pain I unearth, there is always more and more and more; it seems like a bottomless well. I wonder if I will ever be able to fully heal the pain... or learn to fully accept it, which might actually amount to the same.
  12. Tehehe, point taken.
  13. @zeroISinfinity Lol, are we playing the "You got it backwards --- no man, YOU got it backwards" game now? Aaaaawwww, I love that game! Alright Mr. wise guy, what is the sound of a tree in the forest falling backwards? Bet you cannot answer that one, muuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha!
  14. This was the spontaneous and un-premeditated fruit of today's morning meditation. Man, I'm telling ya, I am reaching levels of depth and profundity now that I didn't think were possible before. HAH!
  15. One fine summer morning, Dog woke up in his Doghouse, yawned, streched and strolled over to the food bowl in order to have some breakfast. As he was meditatively chewing away on a chicken bone, a strange question popped up in his mind... "Hmmmmmmm, I wonder who I am", he thought. "Like, who am I really?" He tried to shake off this seemingly silly and pointless question, but it wouldn't leave him alone; it kept gnawing at him in very much the same way that he was gnawing at the tasty bone between his teeth. Finally he went to a Zen master in the hope of gaining some clarity. After he put forth his question, the master raised his eyebrows, gave him a funny glance and asked back: "Who do you think you are?" - "Well... I guess I am Dog." The master looked at him sternly and said "dude, you got it all backwards."