Consilience

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  1. Thank you for this post... farewell and good luck ❤️
  2. At that point, from that pov I see in the picture, nothing. But if my body where in that state, I doubt it would be sitting in stillness.
  3. Thank you. 🙏🏼 I feel like I had a major realization about my psychedelic path that Ive yet to notice thus far. Maybe it’s because of the tools Im using (LSD and mushrooms) not being as powerful as 5MeO or DPT however it seems to me that in these wildly altered states of consciousness not only am I able to gain insight, but what Ive noticed is that these insight’s transformative capabilities have been inconsistent to say the least. On the one hand, I am forever changed after as much tripping as Ive done. Ive felt oneness, love, truth, nothingness and consciousness in ways I never thought possible... Ive literally felt the love of god and infinity. It’s nut. But I still come down. The energy that is this ego/body/mind returns and a contracted self energy resurfaces. Yet in a sense... it doesn’t return. From a certain pov, I can walk around dead sober and slip back into what I can only describe as psychedelic states of consciousness. I can tear up on a train going home from work because of the empathy and compassion I feel for complete strangers, I can look nowhere and see how all of this is spontaneously coming from nowhere... but I still come back. Attention still “sticks” to the imagery and story of me, as if there’s true authentic legitimacy. I don’t feel enlightened and yet enlightenment never feels separate from who I am, what I am. So what are psychedelics really doing? It feels like they are pushing possibilities forward, they are pushing the boundary yet the boundary snaps back. The transformational process seems to certainly be occurring but it feels like it’s only being sustained because of how much other work Im doing besides psychedelics. I see possibilities, I go super saiyan, and come crashing into ego, only to finally see that this distinction between tripping and sobriety is utterly arbitrary. Psychedelics are a high, a state change in which truth seems to become so much clearer but more than that, they present a possibility for how life may be lived but these possibilities are as temporary as the altered state. Until the possibility is integrated through the slow transformation and evolution of this mind/body/ego system, it will be entirely fleeting. But until transformation is seen as 100% available right here right now, how can one hope to transform? Moreover, what does truth have to do with transformation? Sort of rambling at this point... essentially I feel these tools have so much to teach, but after this last trip, I feel the weight of responsibility of the integration/transformation work. The psychedelics don’t promise change, they can almost guarantee massive, powerful insight but even these insights aren’t enough to produce the changes in experience you’d expect from becoming conscious of certain facets of truth. Why is that so? I truly wonder. Habits that seem to help: - 1 hour meditation per day following tmi system - constant passive contemplation “who am I?” “What am I?” - keeping my body healthy - sleep - no pmo - using weed very sparingly - practicing metta - journaling - watching actualized.org videos - reading books - moving towards situations that create fear like approaching strangers or holding eye contact - following principles like keep going and patience etc.
  4. @Esoteric One of the most inspiring photos Ive ever seen... but equally just like wtf. Can not imagine the state of consciousness one must be in to endure that with equanimity. I too thought of this photo based on the title 😂
  5. @TrynaBeTurquoise very interesting! Thank you for testing and sharing
  6. Hey thanks ❤️ And thank you for asking... Patience. I think experientially, patience is like an acceptance of now, and letting go, a being, a surrendering to now. Often times I can get fixated in the future, whether its 5 minutes from now or 5 years from now, the mind, my mind creates these stories and imaginations of what it wants to one day occur or what it needs to plan for. But when I look at nature, when I look at the pace at which life moves, it moves very slowly. Transformation, evolution, change all happen at a snail’s pace relative to the quick fixes the mind craves. So patience is like reconnecting with the operating principle of life... just be with whatever is and be patient as impermanence and change play itself out. Moreover, let the patience be imbued with trust that whatever happens is exactly what needed to happen, and is all a form of self love and growth. My goals will manifest however they will manifest, trust the slowness of this journey and be at peace with what is already.
  7. Yeah cold turkey is fine. If I fuck up in the future, oh well, I'm not too concerned... Again patience haha. But yes cold turkey is really the only way I see myself behaving for now. The thing is about the habits, I already am meditating 1 hour per day, contemplating informally throughout the day, consistently working out hard, reading books, working on my youtube channel, and even some journalling haha. I feel like it's just these micro moments where addictions can slip into my schedule are what I'm trying to finally eliminate, but thankfully the addictions don't seem to affect my ability to keep doing my positive habits. Yeah I don't eat meat, diary and only some wheat. I think actually the best diet for a type 1 diabetic and possibly type 2 would be a meat based ketogenic diet. You'd have very little blood sugar fluctuations because of the lack of carbohydrates, however I just ethically can't bring myself to eat meat. I just don't see a point in another animal sacrificing their bodies for mine if there are other alternatives such as plants. Plants don't seem to suffer like animals, so I'd like to mitigate as much unnecessary suffering as possible.
  8. Yes exactly. How does one let go? - By being. Just be. Just let whatever's happening, happen without a thought about it. Just be with reality however it is.
  9. Wow this post is really profound... The hand exercise was beautiful.
  10. Just wanted to write an update related to this report. So this past half week has been one giant ego backlash I pmo'd for the first time in like 3.5 weeks, and smoked weed 3 times. And I have to say, watching the energetic dynamic play out in such a way has been very fascinating. Even though these behaviors are really counter productive for the vision of my life I have, they still felt authentic in the moment... But I only realized this after I took such a dip. The last weed session I started feeling guilty. I started feeling anxious and frustrated that I'd let myself down after such a badass mushroom trip, I started feeling needy towards women and relationships, I felt low amounts of depression even which is really odd, and that the whole integration process felt botched. I then went into a state of deep confusion where I know longer knew what to do, I just literally sat on my floor paralyzed by not knowing what behavior made sense. Clearly the action I had been taking the past couple of nights wasn't really working out lol. But then the thought popped into awareness, "What am I?" I realized that I am nothing. I am literally nothing. And this insight is something I've been directly conscious of in the past, but sometimes it feels unaccessible in certain states of consciousness, which tells me the insight hasn't penetrated as deeply as it can, but in this particular moment, the awareness of this truth came crashing into consciousness. What @Raptorsin7 mentioned about how we are literally creating our emotions from thoughts became perfectly clear. I then spontaneously stopped generating all negative emotions and entered into a state of happiness and joy, while still conscious that these states where not ME. I started laughing hysterically lol. I saw how I was creating the survival of these mental states because I had been identified with them. I realized that because survival is the operating principle of the ego, certain egoic tendencies will continue to persist and be projected into consciousness precisely because there is survival at play, but that these projections are truly emanating from this nothingness that I am, and that "I" am perfectly free to shift perspectives on any state, and see the happiness and joy rather than anxiety and depression. The idea that an ego is surviving is an illusion, and thus this ego's states are 100% free to transform in any moment. You want to know what free will is? It's this freedom playing out in your experience as a human. So anyways, I feel ready to stop smoking weed again, go back to just not using porn at all, and contemplate this matter of spontaneously producing emotional states... Lol. Basically still just trying to understand what I am.
  11. @Bazooka Jesus This makes me really happy to read, I'm very glad it was able to help you that day. @Leo Gura That's funny. You definitely fit the bill This comment helped me so much with the integration process and thoughts I will have below... Thank you so much for sharing haha. Yes I have seen The Last Airbender and yeah.. The fact that I am responsible for this is kind of insane. @Austin Actualizing Thank you for reading and the comment I don't understand haha that's cool you've had the experience though! @remember That's really interesting thank you for sharing! I honestly know nothing about magic... I just recognize the Law of Attraction play out within my life and it feels magical. I don't make the distinction between light and dark. I don't take it personally at all, I appreciate you sharing as you raised a lot of interesting points. Though tbh I don't have any answers, all I can say is that if everyone, literally an entire society, was expressing their greatest gifts for the world and the infrastructure of culture and society supported this, we would be living in a very very very different world. My intuition tells me the path forward is to help other's move towards this end and things will naturally work themselves out over time haha. @reves I'm glad that was helpful for you! The patience principle has been huge thus far... @ElvisN I really appreciate this thank you... <3
  12. This is so so so important. Thank you for such a great post and the openness into your journey 🙏🏼
  13. Stable attention. Cannot emphasize this enough!! Until your attention span stops shifting around from subtle and gross thoughts you wont be able to go deeply. I used to have a similar problem with meditation, it almost felt like I wasn’t getting as much out of it anymore UNTIL I committed to building mu concentration. Once attention can be sustained and not dragged around by every little thought or feeling the mind projects into awareness, you’re ability to not only meditate but contemplate will increase exponentially. Check out the book The Mind Illuminated if you’re curious about a systematic approach towards building concentration and getting the most out of meditation, there’s a free pdf if you google.
  14. Surrendering for me has always been synonymous with letting go. So basically letting go of all your internal resistance to actuality, to suffering, and instead being with whatever is arising in experience. For a practical place to start, rewatching Leo’s video on letting go would be helpful. Unless Leo creates a distinction between surrender and letting go.
  15. @Aaron p Never have my friend. Nicotine isn’t my thing. Guilty pleasure is THC lol