Dylan Page

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  1. I’m sure you’ve been asked this before but what do you think about putting your videos on Spotify?
  2. @Leo Gura So your level of consciousness = your awareness of truth?
  3. I suppose the biggest problem I’m having is understanding the implications to this in relationship to my life. @Leo Gura
  4. @Leo Gura Idk, there’s something that just doesn’t click with it. The reason I can’t take psychedelics is because thoughts that come up during trips scare me beyond reason. I suppose I need to shed those fears before I try to just go for truth head on, it needs to be a gentle and slow process
  5. @Heart of Space yeah definitely, but even to me it’s confusing, my head is a thick forest of trees and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on. I’m only reaching out because I’m desperate, but I’m sort of figuring it out.
  6. It’s not that I necessarily want to be dealing with this, it’s more like I have to/cannot be stable without answers to existential questions because I recognize how important they are in relation to my life. I workout, eat healthily, am financially stable, have friends, hobbies, everything. That’s not the issue. @Member
  7. @Aaron p I can’t smoke weed without having a panic attack, not a single hit
  8. You say that I imagined my past but my memory seems to reflect the current moment. If I leave a bottle in a room and come back 20 minutes later, it’s still gonna be there. I guess I don’t know what you mean by I “imagined it”, because it seems to have validity in this reality. I guess you could say that the bottle still being there is imagined, and the laws of physics and stuff, and I guess the general concept of continuity, such that a comprehensible reality in which I can actually function is created. One of the reasons I’m concerned about this is not only due to the extremely imperative function of memory, but also the fact that my past makes me who I am, or at least who “I”, my ego, is. Saying that it never happened undermines this and destroys my sense of self, which I care deeply about. Perhaps a better way to think about this reality is that it’s imagined but it’s also self contained and in that way, it’s “real”?
  9. Anyone have any advice with this? Existential anxiety has been permeating my life for a pretty long time now. It's on a subconscious level. I can be perfectly fine, in my house, perfectly safe (as safe as I can reasonably be at that moment in time), but nonetheless, I'm legitimately quivering. Like there's a hole in my stomach, I start sweating, frequently urinating and cannot sleep no matter what. The only way I can calm myself down is by watching videos on meaning and death and human psychology. Does anyone know anything about this?
  10. I guess another way of putting it is that I feel like I’m in neverland. Like this reality is just arbitrary, it gives me this weird sensation of being lost in a foreign land, even though I’ve lived here my whole life.
  11. Hey everyone, I’ve got a problem that I don’t really know how to solve. After learning so much about reality, sense data, consciousness, the brain and it’s relationship to mind, etc. I’m kind of at this standstill where I just have no idea what to make of any of it. I just sit here and realize that I don’t know shit, and I really mean, I don’t know fucking anything for sure, at all. While this notion is pretty unsettling, and quite honestly, a core shaking scare when you realize how profound it is, the hardest problem for me is that I just have no idea what to do in life as a result of this. I‘ve been trying to figure out what I’m going to do with my life for a decent amount of time now and given that I’m aware that there is “nothing to do” and that for all I know, my past isn’t “real”, everything I’m seeing and experiencing could be some drawn out illusion, and that I can be so easily tricked that any assumption about what my reality is is effectively baseless, leaves me in this mental situation of what I would call “existential confusion”. Not only do I have no idea what I want to do in life, I feel like I also have no ground from which to come up with an answer, and all of the meanings in my life currently, could just be some illusory lie that sucks all value out of it.
  12. @JosephKnecht nah but I’ve done shrooms and acid in the past, both low dose, also freaked the fuck out on acid, but weed is probably worse than shrooms
  13. So I have never liked weed, but after not smoking it for like 5 months, I wanted to see if I still hate it. Unfortunately, it resulted in easily one of the worst nights of my life. I took one hit. One. After about 30 minutes, I thought of some super anxiety provoking idea (I don’t even remember what it was) and the anxiety spread through my body like a wave of energy. Normally I get some kind of mild anxiety, but this was just absolutely unbelievable. I had to walk outside for like 20 minutes. On this walk I experienced something more akin to a psychedelic than marijuana. My mind was going absolutely fucking haywire. I started seeing mental visions of my visual field twisting and turning into geometric shapes and viscerally felt the anxiety swallowing me whole. I almost stopped breathing. After it died down I still felt like shit, and didn’t sleep at all that night. I finally returned to baseline, but while I was still high, it felt like it was possible that I would never return. If I had to exist like that for more than a couple of days I would have 100% committed suicide. How the fuck can that happen to me with one hit while my friends and rip it all day like candy?
  14. @Osaid right, and we tend to use “morals” or “logic” to justify what we really care about, and that is a feeling. Whether it be the feeling of being popular, or intelligent, or whatever. The people that want to make the world a “better” place think they are doing something almost fundamentally important, but in actuality, they are trying to make it better in their own eyes. And of course, people are also motivated by running from bad feelings as well and I’m sure I don’t need to explain the unfortunate variety of all of them.
  15. I’ve come to the conclusion that people do things for 2 reasons. Chasing good feelings and alleviating themselves from bad ones. This may seem obvious, but when I say everyone, I mean literally everyone. You could say, well a drug addict does it for sure, but what about someone chasing enlightenment? Don’t they have some kind of higher motivation? The answer is no. People seek to understand the world around them and themselves for a sense of control, perhaps the high of superiority, an escape from nihilism, and a bunch of other different reasons, all ultimately coming back to chasing highs and escaping lows. I personally pursue understanding because I am unsatisfied with chasing highs (whenever I chase a feeling the thought that it’s meaningless and shallow pops into my head) and am disgusted by nature (and hope to somehow alleviate this disgust through deeper understanding or making change in the world). But the jist of this post is that everyone is motivated by feelings! Not ideas, not logic, not morals, but feelings! Any thoughts?