Arthogaan

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  1. Loving your retarded kid does not require you sitting with him in retarded class.
  2. I don't think that's fair to say that they are just using poly to justify their cheating tendencies. Maybe that's true but I don't think so. I think they have quite developed relationship. One of the most developed, open minded, hones that I saw online. I don't think that is a cope. I think that is their true heart's preference and I think it is beautiful that they share it so openly and normalize poly. But hell, I could be wrong. Sorry If strawmanned your argument, I didn't mean to. I just wanted to point to the fact that probably there is no thing that pushes out your insecurities more than relationships (other than maybe psychedelics ) and that they are generally problematic. I find that average relationship is WAY more toxic than Destiny's so I don't think it is fair. Yes Melina is more dependent than Destiny, but still there is power asymetry in almost any relationship. And I actually think they have great chemistry and similiar outlook on many things. It just so happens that Destiny is in the top 1% of not caring about what somebody thinks about him and it is not easy for Melina.
  3. 1. They literally started dating due to the fact that they both did want open relationship. 2. You could also argue that if you "you and your partner are too different with your stage of development, cognitive and moral development, personality types and ego development, life experiences, other lines of development, worldviews" it is best not to pursue ANY relationship. But they perceived that they are on similiar enough level on this areas that the relationship is worth trying. But maybe it will turn out that they are not on the same level enough. And they will break up. Natural process of growth for both of them. That's how it is. No relationship ever survives eventually (death). Yeah whatever. And maybe future fiance of Leo Gura will complain that he is too narcissistic that he chases psychedelics all his life and spends his life sitting on a cussion contemplating about impractical stuff instead of having quality time with her. So what? Leo can choose to dedicate his life to psychedelic and spiritual crazyness if thats what he wants. Destiny can choose to dedicate his life to content and drama commentary if thats what he wants. If thats too much for their partners they can find another partner. No guilt, no wrongs, let the man live the life how he wants.
  4. I understand and to be fair if I were in his shoes I would do as you say, because I find Melina to be a treasure BUT I think it is unfair comparison for two reasons: 1. I don't think you can say that he seduced her. He is quite autistic and almost too transparent in his demeanor. She knew what she was getting into. At some point she also has to take responsibility to stay in the relationship that does not fit her. 2. Comparing raping kids to having the ability to have crazies in your life is also quite a stretch. I don't think he hurts people that much. It is more like because of this exposure to crazies he is always near when they themselves create hurt. People like Lav or Mr.Girl would create havoc anyway, Destiny is just here to watch and comment. I don't think that fair to say he hurts them. Especially because he is very transparent. But whatever. Thats not really the issue. Put yourself in the shoes of Destiny and lets just assume that you absolutely do not want to dial down the crazyness, because you believe it is your life purpose. But your wife demands it from you and she is hurt. But it is just something that you are not going to dial down because it is your brand and purpose. Now what? Should he like be purposefully mean to Melina to make her less dependent on him and make her breake up? Should he close himself to her? Or should he just be transparent that he is not going to dial it down and it is for Melina to decide what to do with it and as much as he loves life with her she is free to leave.
  5. 100% agree. Destiny did not suddenly change. Melina admits that it's just like that from the very beginning. That her that changed and realized that she may not be comfortable with that way of living. He was very open from the beginning about how important the freedom is to him. And secondly, yes you can change any time in your life and then make your relationship contracts invalid. You always evolve (especially on a spiritual journey and actualization journey) and also of course there will be hurt. No need to call anyone self centered, it is the matter of priorities. Melina is self centered about her need to have peace in life. Destiny is self centered about having freedom and crazyness in his life. No one is wrong.
  6. Well yes. And he is stuck in either: 1. changing the way that he wants to live life for the sake of relationship 2. living the life that he wants and loosing the relationship That is the reality of relationships, people change and their priorities change. Him changing the way that he lives is not more right than Melina just accepting him for who he is. He communicates his boundaries, and they can just break up. No need to dramatize over it. No need to say who "should" change. You deciding that him dialing it down by 20% is more right and easier than her changing and accepting the "crazy" is arbitrary. No need to point who is guilty. There is no guilt. Okay, and the same way Melina constantly wanting him to change and demanding it from him is probably hurting him as well. He obviously cares, and I don't think he ever communicated that he does not. He cares but the freedom in his life may be more important and he has a right to make that choice.
  7. Destiny's approach to relationships is extreme, but I actually respect it that he is setting his boundary with Melina so clearly. It's just so simple and honest: "I am going to live my life in this way, it is really important to me, and if that is too much for you then you are free to leave". Most people see it as cold and manipulative but it is actually the opposite. He clearly says that crazyness in important for him. What would be egoistical and manipulative would be to say that he is going to turn it down a little bit but still continue to do that. I respect him for stating that so clearly even though he knows it probably hurts Melina.
  8. In my journey sceptical atheism was certainly much higher than dogmstical religion. In my case it was: Religion -> agnostism -> atheism -> spirituality -> God So you can't really generalize like that. I am sure there are muslims with higher state than some nondual trachers. It depends on each case.
  9. It is just the words issue. You think that when Leo talks about Self that there is still some ego-selfhood left that is recontextualized and not fully let go. But it is only because it is what you believe that the word "Self" points to. But Leo can have the word "Self" attributed to the state where there is no sense of ego-selfhood left. The state when all concepts of boundaries and thing are eradicated you are only left with SELF in the meaning that I or Leo understands. See how difficult the issue of words is. You attribute different feeling/insight/state to the word Self than Leo. You could say the less self you have the more Self appears. Self is 1-self. When ego-self approaches zero then SELF approaches 1. Self is one. Self is all that is left. No an ounce of an ego there.
  10. @Leo Gura did you play Witcher 3?
  11. @Leo Gura In that state of Insanity: - was Love and Beauty obviously there as fundamental properties of Consciousness? - was your perception of "Other" still seen as just figment of your imagination? - was there some understanding of ability to change your body with Consciousness (like you tried to heal the body in the past)? - on some non-linear scale - what state felt higher in Consciousness - the quirky mouse or the Insanity?
  12. There is no contradiction. You should be able to hold your attention to anything at will. Holding one thought at a time is attention. Also he means "thought" very generally. You can focus on your body, or a thought of your body and hold it for 30 minutes - that's strong focus/attention. Or you can focus on the thought "I AM". Or even "I". In the second quote you sent he also said "freedom from thoughts" so also the ability to not think at all. Because whether you focus on your breath, your body, or any thought such as "I AM", then your focus in growing and your thinking stops. Paradoxically when you focus on one thought your thinking stops, because there is no flow of thoughts.
  13. There was a video posted in the "Freaks of Nature Mega-thread" of children with rare sickness that made them feel no pain at all. The parents were literally crying saying that they would give everything to make their children feel pain. Think about that. A loving parent would give EVERYTHING to make his own child that he loves FEEL PAIN. One girl literally scraped her eye out with her fingers.
  14. I scrolled through last day with and put "Leo Gura"/"actualized" in ctrl +f and there was nothing. Maybe they deleted it