Arthogaan

I had a permanent no-self realization 1 year ago. Since then I was focusing on integrating that, stabilizing and it becoming my new default. I did not do any full dose trips since then - until today. Sharing this seems pointless and yet I just want to share my raw-unedited notes from the trip - there is a high chance that this will be my final post on this forum. Thank you @Leo Gura for being the first teacher (maybe in human history) that had the balls to speak so directly about Absolute Solipsism and to even put it on youtube with your own face. Infinite Eternal gratitude for that Leo, you opened many doors for many people. And thanks everyone on this forum. You are all magnificient expressions of the MindSoup. If you have this urge to go deep, to not distract and run away constantly from HOME with all this human (sweet) bullshit - I just want to say it is worth it. You will be Home in each moment. Dedicate yourself to do this. Take care of your surival inteligently so you are able to really go into this. All humanity is - is just one big running away from the Absolute Home. Raw trip notes: - 08.05 This body is not just a Temple. But Universal Temple. So zoomed in that my tendons - while stretching - reach to past eons. Primal energy at the heart of this all. Sexual soup. Mother/Father womb - with smell and intimacy and wetness and hairynesss and care and love and innovence and raw desire to fuck, to live, to run, to laugh, to hug, to do shit. It is all me. For me. My phantasy. My intelligence. Its not a coincidence that all man have similiar phantasies - it's one raw intelligence generating that. All perversy, all wars, all love and hate is part of the godhead. Home was always here, right behind the corner of my eye brow bone. Behind the scenes. Wet - together - open - Animal like - HOME. Garden of mind was always here. Just chill, monkey love hanging out in my psyche. All is perfectly managed. Ordinary love soup. Natural. Don't worry about it vibe. Everywhere. Singilarity. Utopia. Destruction. Rope of eye pupils Rolling through eyes of everybody. This Home freshness. Like when a buddy says: "it's fine i will take care of it" *smile and wink* - this vibe, this Home is always here. I am just playing around with playdough to make other mental words. All humour is my humour hahahagaa All the jokes are mine And on me lol Just me. Home. Fine. Home intellect sex love alloy, all is out of that Access the archetypal energies of gaia mother womb, they are here to replenish you __ The floor grass of the garden are right behing my eye socket. Right there. Close. Archetypal garden is here. --- I am the Mother, I am that intelligence. All is made out of me for me. Roleplay. Actually. Faking as if we are separate. Cheap music, Karens, Rednecks, ignorance of family uncles. All just me roleplaying. Every girl. Every musician. Those i admire and those i look down upon. All me at play. Neural pain capacity is maxed out. Cold. Pain. Hunger are at their 100% and they are so pleasueable. All so Light surrounded by Garden. The key is to dissolve, drop in, let go, relax Pure move towards non conceptuality. ---- The primal freedom of discipline. Max out your pain receptors. Do not run away, stay with that. Your capacity to feel is like an Bath full of warm water compared to small eye-contact-container of maxed out pain floating in it. Comparing mind takes whatever is available and really quickly sets it to almost maxed out. It is unwise and gives almost all resistance at the start. It cannot go more than that its bluffing. Every bit of what I get and what I do not get and get frustrated is perfectly designed from the MindSoup --- I wouldn't even talk about this level to anyone. People don't want that level of absolute. No one cares. Everyone is running away. Any desire to teach seems very pointless. Thank you. HOME.

Sunyata/emptiness focuses on this ephemeral quality of any manifestation, nothing is real just appearing due to causes and conditions, empty of substance, empty of INHERENT being. Emptiness is not about nothingness. I would claim emptiness is pointing to this infinite interconnectivity, ephemerality, hologram-like-ity. For me it's the same like saying that everything is imagination - pure flexibility of consciousness to appear as any figment. And even consciousness is just another substanceless designation that we reify. God is beyond it. Emptiness is beyond it.

I totally get your point Leo. But let me continue playing a buddhist devil's advocate. I would claim that at some point absorption into emptiness reaches the tipping point, at which it paradoxically becomes WHOLE, it does not anymore have this vibe of deconstruction. Even emptiness is empty so it colapses into itself and is whole (like with scepticism colapsing in it's real fruition). As you say "you are not grasping the significance of God" - I could argue, you are not grasping the wholeness of emptiness. But again, I do agree that most buddhist do not reach this tipping point of absorption. But I intuit that some of the deepest one like Angelo (imho) actually has in his daily experience this sweetness, mystery, hallucination vibe of God realization. He just avoids that word. I can never know that ofc, just a hunch.

I saw your post @Leo Gura about Roger's Thisdell "you can't spiritually wake up only become lucid" video and this is a great post. And again I kinda want to come here as a steelman for their pov. Like when they argue that you cannot have any ontological ground vs you claiming that god is the ultimate ontological ground - I don't really see the difference. I am not sure if they don't but I don't. Like, this is what experience of God/Love is for me - total dissolution of any frames, construct, ground. Like Rogers describing it as ephemeral qualia process of Mind - this is full with mystery and feeling of God for me (maybe thats because i had God realization so I am able to steelman this in this way and they don't really mean it) Saying God is pure imagination, or saying that everything is the state of consciousness, figment of consciousness (your pov) - this for me is the same (maybe not the same but a different facet of same diamond) realization as buddhist deconstruction and going beyond any frames. This is the same movement of Mind of going infinitely meta and ending up with no ground or frame - and this is the mystical experience of God. Sunyata/Emptiness = God. But real emptiness, not reductionistic and still imbued with remnants of materialism. Real emptiness that goes meta even to itself - that gives me a profound feeling and connection to God. I agree that they have some weird aversion to this beatifull word God (maybe for good reasons not to make conceptual traps for people) but having gone through both God Realization and buddhist annata I claim that it indeed ends in the same place. Even saying that there is no ontological ultimate ground - if that's the case then THATS THE TRUTH AND THATS THE ULTIMATE ONTOLOGICAL GROUND. So I agree with you that you have to end up at TRUTH. And there are unique qualities/feelings to focusing on qualia processing view vs God view. And the ultimate God includes both of those. As figments of its imagination. Or from their perspectives you could say even qualia processing is a constructed model and even God view is a constructed model. But that recognition of everything being a model construction - this for me leads exactly to the same mind space as deep contemplation of everything being gods imagination. Just infinite meta. Infinite meta = infinite deconstruction = infinite imagination = God = Love. @Water by the River

There is no nothing. But there is emptiness. But emptiness is also not A THING - it;s nature of empty phenomena, even emptiness is empty so it does not exist. There is no ground. There is no substance. Just ever dancing empty flux of magic. Mystery. All de-reified.

Every statement put into words is ultimately just a construct. You can have a perspective that everything is fair. You could say from other perspective that life is pure unfairness. But ultimately this are just language-meaning-constructs. When you drop all of this you are left with only this mysterious THIS. In love and war everything is. Just is. Life just is. Consciousness just is. No meaning, not even meaninglessness. Just is.

Awakening to reality guidebook from awakeningtoreality.com And Awake: it's your turn by Angelo Dilulo are two of the most clear, technical no bullshit books I have come across during my journey.

I really like quote by I think Adyashanti, something along the lines of: it's not out and above - it's in and through.

Its interesting because I get a cultish/con vibe from Mooji so it really is different for different minds. Interesting. Also Frank matured a lot during last year, he was still fresh and pretty unstable 3-4 years ago. Yeah but all of teachers are just temporary pointers.

Each teacher from my list has a very different style of communicating. Different personality. Personality of the body stays even after enlightenment - there is no longer a mental construct of identity but a particular body is conditioned to express in certain way - so all of them behave very differently but I can sense that all of them transmit - but at the end of the day if you don't vibe with Frank then just vibe with some other teacher - you don't have to like them all - if you do not prefer someone that is supposedly enlightened that does not make you bad in any way - you are also conditioned. But it can be valuable to contemplate - what character traits/ what way of expressing makes me think that it is "less than enlightened" - because that is probably some part of you that you don't accept - like for example maybe you don't accept the part of you that would like to express in almost manic, energetic kind of way - which is something that actually pulls me towards Frank - because I would like to grow that part of me more. Much love

Yeah, I know it's constructed - but in THIS ETERNAL NOW there is only THIS THIS. Nothing else here.

The most Genius ones for me in no particular order: Leo Gura, Angelo DiLulo, Bentinho Massaro, Josh ("So awake" yt channel), Suzanne Chang (Suzanne Nonduality), Roger Thisdell

But what Absolute Solipsism by Leo points to IMO is that there is only one Soup happening at any time.

But that is the actual non-dual experience. Everything is one undiferentiated soup - and then you can mentally compartmentalize into thoughts, perceptions, visions, hearings, whatever.

Just THIS thissing and appearing out of nowhere and dancing.