After a few interactions with men I've realized that my perfect romantic soulmate for life is a person who is extremely gentle with me and extremely sweet with me.
When someone doesn't allow you to be who you really are or want to be whether be it a relationship or friendship and you see yourself turning into a different person or made to look or feel like someone that you are not, they are the "aggressors" and your best option is to just block them from your life.
Hopefully I'll be able to stop the chain reaction of disasters in my life once and for all.
I have sorta made this note. It's about self growth. That is focus on major changes in life and in yourself. Note down everything about yourself and your life or situation that is currently your way of living. And then keep a mental note of it. Write down whatever changes you want in your life. Try to visualize those changes. Then focus on the means of getting these changes happen in your life. Then see the changes gradually taking place. Once you see a change, make a note of it. This should be your new state. You can call it your first "change of state." this represents a change in your physical as well as a change in your state of mind. Remember to keep a track record of these "change of states."
Work towards each new improved state of yourself.
For those struggling with sleep problems, can try a specific sleep ritual. It might help to wrap up the day mentally.
The energies that guide life
Energy of love and romance
Energy of growth and positivity
Energy of productivity
Energy of will
Energy of beauty
Energy of wisdom
Energy of protection
Energy of security
Energy of power and combat
Energy of peace and fulfillment
Even mild form of character assassination can have a huge impact on a person's psychological state.
I will never date a broke guy again. A miserable person again. Their bad circumstances make them inhuman, sadistic, exploitative, desperate, stone Hearted, cold, merciless towards others suffering and insensitive, unkind and immune to others suffering. They want others to suffer because they suffered. There is an internal sense of happiness at the sight of others suffering that accompanies their deprivation. They feel negativity or a jealous hate towards those who are well off than them. Sad to see how human nature changes with circumstances.
I'm trying to delve deeper into the power of the conscience. If what I consider God is nothing but conscience itself. It's the one thing that differentiates the evil from the good. It's the common link in all good things. It emerges from love and empathy,care and concern. It's a voice of morality and righteousness too. It's divine in nature. It's a force of goodness.
I need to focus better on sleep. I couldn't sleep because I was h I have realized just waiting for sleep makes me feel like doing all sorts of things. That's basically not shutting my brain. So I'm gonna focus more on a sleep schedule and a sleep routine and stick to it. A sleep ritual is going to be important. Like drinking a sleep tea or going for a walk and trying to make a it a ritual or ritualize sleep. Giving signals to the brain to shut it off. Seduce the brain into sleeping.
Will work on this.
I have learned through my insights that one should live
1} a sacred life
2} a romantic life
3} a purposeful life.
I wanted to write about openness. And how that quality is so important. A quality that makes a human being more likable. To be open is to understand, love, respect, care, be empathetic and welcoming of other's misgivings and flaws. To not pick at them or put them down but to be generous, not calculating but giving, see what you can give before you ask. See what you can do for others before expecting them to do anything for you. To let others be who they want to be. To accept them for how they are. To understand that others can make mistakes. To be gracious in your attitude and attention. To not hold back just because of your limited perceptions of the other person. To have a big heart. To crack out of the perpetual survival mode mentality and understand that everything is not limited only to survival but emotion and aesthetics carry value as well. To show mercy to the weak and attacked, to show forgiveness to the guilty, to show strength to the flawed, to accept the limitations of character, to not judge but understand, to show kindness to the suffering instead of speculation and criticism.
I have realized this after a long time. That so much was eaten by toxic people in my life including my family and they never gave me space. Being away from them feels much better. Now I know how much my personal space is important and how much I shouldn't take it for granted. I love being by my own, being independent and being free.
Not suffocated by family expectations or boyfriend's criticisms. Just me and only me. Now I realize what I needed for personal growth in my life was my own space and freedom to grow the way I wanted. Away from family and toxic people. And that space was never given to me by dominating family members.
Now I'm a free bird, free from all the toxic people holding me down. I have come to appreciate this more than I can understand. All I ever needed was my own space to grow on my own without any interference from my family. It was such a simple thing but so difficult for them to understand. Now I can finally grow...
I'm trying to focus more on the quality of the day than anything else.
Everything is good as long as the day is good. Not the best but moderately better, better than yesterday.
Take care of yourself first. Even if someone said you're selfish for doing that, it's not okay to prioritize others over yourself.
Create your own space. And if someone doesn't like how you are, they can be out of it, you might get called a narcissist for that but setting your boundaries on how others should behave with you is not narcissism but self respect. They should behave the way you feel comfortable if they want your care and attention and loyalty.
If you don't like someone you don't like them, that doesn't make you rude or bad.
And if you want someone to be how you want them to be, you are not being selfish, you are just creating your comfort space which they need to respect.