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  1. Note: I think I hit the wall of chronic fatigue because I prioritized action and productivity over my state of being. You want to find the Well of Youth and Well-being. There you will find your energy. If you prioritize productivity, you'll quickly run out of energy. So yeah, prioritize state of being (of calm and alert). Milk the vortex. Emotion goals/Emotional mastery.
  2. Sometimes you have no choice but to sleep/nap it off. Then afterwards take it more slow.
  3. Update: To offset 'the wall' of sleepiness from chronic fatigue the answer is to slow down, repeat alerting activities, and to stay in motion (action breeds alertness). Take general action ("Finished the task" in Norbu). Complete tasks around you that you see need to be done. Once the sleepiness has worn off than you can focus more so on state of being than on action.
  4. Primary: 1.7/5 -- (a lack of empathy for other people and tolerance for antisocial orientations) Secondary: 2.7/5 -- (rule breaking and a lack of effort towards socially rewarded behavior)
  5. Update: I may make productivity secondary to emotional mastery and emotional goals. I want to maximise a state of alertness and calmness, reach the pinnacle of flow or the vortex. I want to milk the vortex. And then be productive as a side venture.
  6. Definitely. I'm a girl. I have to tap into my more masculine side. And I applaud the feminine in this thread who did just that. It's not easy. There is a place and time for both the masculine and feminine and I have seen both on this forum. It's beautiful when the feminine moves forward, it's subtle, almost invisible. Hopefully I don't get banned for this.
  7. In my experience, there is a cycle of 'imbalance' and 'balance'. During the imbalance people (especially feminine) lead with the masculine. The masculine helps to settle energies, as well as the feminine.
  8. That could be or when I picked up on this I was highly sensitive to energetics. It's really up for debate. Not all 'mental disorders' are all cons only. There are pros. When you are on the receiving end of some of this stuff (and you are vulnerable) then you start to really get it.
  9. My guess is that Leo has unconscious trauma to some degree. I don't doubt his awakenings and enlightenment. Certain people trigger his trauma response. I think this trauma goes very deep. I don't want to say too much. I mean him and this community no harm. I also support his work.
  10. I may be labelled all number of things but if there is one thing I pride myself on its my resiliency, actually doing the work and the ability to walk this path alone. I know I'm doing the work because of the massive progress I've made. I'm not afraid to do this work alone. I've shown my true colours and character through apologies, forgiveness, introspection and doing the work. People with disabilities will always have it hard. Just know you can't exclude us forever if we are doing our best and our best isn't good enough for you. It's like chewing on your own arm, it comes back to you. No matter how much you try to exclude us. Eventually, we break. And then you justify that in your head for further exclusion. Final entry.
  11. Note (What I've learned from sensory modulation classes and from this 'Norbu' app): Too much calmness (breathing exercises for example) leads to lethargy. Too much alertness leads to stress Calmness transforms stress into alertness Alertness transforms lethargy into calmness .. Alerting things: Action (Activity induces the desire to take more action) Intellectual stimulation (Reading, studying) Stimulation in general (music) Calming things: Absorption, Observation Distraction Breathing
  12. Update: Hit a wall all of a sudden. Just wanted to sleep all of the time. Lost my momentum and couldn't seem to get my alertness up no matter what as I was so tired, like I had excess calmness all of a sudden. Extreme lethargy. It's a symptom of chronic fatigue to suddenly be hit with a wall after a period of trying to be productive. I will push through it and see if I can break through. Perhaps I just need to become adapted over time. I will try to be more gentle and kind toward myself.
  13. Update: I woke up with momentum today from using the app "Norbu". I don't usually wake up with momentum most days but today I woke up with momentum. I'm still trying to figure out a system to put in place for optimal productivity for when I am calm and alert. Should I be aiming for optimal productivity? Or should I be aiming for something else? I might look into the app 'Cheerly' some more as it has a nice balance between different areas in your life. I can boost the state calm and alert with meditation.
  14. I've discovered a productivity app goldmine called "Norbu". It uses calming and alerting exercises similar to sensory modulation to help you with shifting into a state conducive to productivity and uses a scale to measure before the exercise to gauge your level of stress or willingness to take action. It also has a gratitude journal where you can write about any action you take as a result of the exercises. It's really effective for emotional regulation, state shifting, and then journalling results. I'm making a great deal of progress with the app 'Norbu'. I'm learning about emotional and state regulation. This is fantastic for my personal development along with my productivity. I really feel like I'm healing and I mean it this time. I completed all my habits this week and went on a long walk today, just by keeping close attention to my state of being, making sure I'm in a calm and alert state. I supplement the app with other calming and alerting things (like music, meditations etc.) and with an app called "mind tracker" that helps me to measure my energy levels and mood throughout the day. The measurement function is particularly useful to me in these apps as they teach me to become self-aware.