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About Aquarius

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  • Birthday January 21

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  1. just asking cause i can control myself and induce any state i am very sad lately what do you guys think?
  2. To answer OP's question, I also don't like these kink-related stuff that are kinda dirty and stuff. Sure, they have their beauty too if you are eager to see it. Animalistic, raw, aggressive can be beautiful too, for example if you use it to liberate and uninhibit yourself. For me, the idea of beautiful sex is finding deep connection with someone, strong clear communications between those involved, and also honoring and respecting each other's body and boundaries. I think respect is the most beautiful thing that can be developed in relationships. Of course you could argue that beautiful sex is this and that. Maybe engaging all the senses, including hearing, taste and smell. Making it as pleasant and comfortable as possible for both.
  3. Hello where did you get those images, what's the source? Is there more? Any keywords you recommend typing into google to get similar images, resources and links? Perhaps books on the topic?
  4. Where can I find that video? I'm intrigued.
  5. Ok, so I'll give you guys some story-time thing so that you can connect more to the storyline and stuff. I have a few concerns and questions about the nature of this relationship, and I think you'll see why.. I want some advice from mature minded people, I don't want anyone being rude or to disrespect my relationship. I am happy with it, sort of, but I always look for long-term relations, and I want this to work, and I am willing to work on it for it to work. I am a generally patient person, one could say overly patient and hopeful, so sometimes I will work on something even if it's not worth it in the long run simply because I am always hoping for results to play out a certain way with a certain type o persistence and resilience. I have lots of interests, despite being an introvert by nature. I have many talents and hobbies, for example I love reading books on literally anything, particularly nonfiction interests me, occasionally interesting novels. I love buddhism and hinduism books most lately. I love intelectual debates and talking about the stuff that really matters in life, I love diving deep on all kinds of interesting topics and dissect them and analyze things, i love knowledge and I appreciate intelectual people and those who love to find meaning in things and have a childlike curiosity and wonder towards stuff in life. I rarely let people get close to me emotionally. I am modest and quiet, I take what I get and do not expect much from people. I usually have low self-esteem, despite seeing the good in myself. I enjoy time alone in contemplation, meditation and lecture. I am unemployed currently for a couple years now, but it has not deprived me of anything vital, except for the unpleasantness of sometimes being asked what I work, then I just brush it off like oh I'm just an artist or working on side projects or just telling them I live with my parents still and swallow all the bitter shame of being a slightly dysfunctional adult at almost 25 years old. So I felt kinda lonely, disturbed with vivid fantasies on my mind about relationship goals and whatnot, and I was sad. I was thinking about how I didn't really talk to people in the last half year except like twice in text message on social media. I even consulted tarot about potential relationship possibilities, they seemed kinda positive but I was skeptic. One lady said I will meet someone special in 6 days, and it happened exactly like that. There is a dating option on social media and I signed up and browsed guys that I liked. I got like 35 likes in 1 day, I filtered out and liked back whomever I found I could naturally vibe with by looking at their given info on the dating thingy, and I talked to 3 of them. The first one I talked to seemed to have tons of hot girls on his social media link he provided, so I ghosted him. He probably adds every girl and I don't want someone unstable like that. The second person I talked to like 1 and a half days, but he responded very difficultly, he avoided my questions and after a few infos exchanged between us like simple insignificant things for ex, zodiac sign, hobbies, interests, age, photos etc..he kept talking about me "spreading my legs" for him, like that statement alone is so weird for me, he could just said sex or fuck or anything else, it was a weird vibe. I didn't have much hope for someone who apparently just want to get laid at first date without knowing like anything about the other person or without having a particular emotional bond, so I stopped talking to him now, I just don't feel like we get along well, I was looking for something more intimate and nice. Then I decided to look at the people on my 7 or so people list of matches and I instantly felt connected to some cutie, I messaged him, he texted back, we exchanged social media and started talking FOR HOURS. Like nonstop, we connected so well, he was very nice and kind, he kinda felt like talking about more sexual topics so I went along with it and talked about that because we were literally vibin and felt comfortable with him. We exchanged some nudes, talked about about our desires and stuff.. idk it felt kinda liberating in a weird sort of way? He said he likes me and I like him too, we decided to start a relationship, like a long distance relationship. I showed him my art, some of my favourite books, he asked me to draw him something tomorrow, and generally just talked about sex. He keeps sending me these naked pictures of him, or videos of him ejaculating. It kinda bothers me because I am more of a sapiosexual, I prefer intelligent conversations rather than guys sending me nudes and telling me stuff like they want me and stuff. Of course, it feels lovely to be appreciated, loved, cherished, wanted, craved and even desired by another human being. It's not that, I just wish we would have more in common, but he is a very nice person and I have high hopes for him, and I want to make this work, even if short term. List of my concerns: - Can we have a stable relationship if we only talk about sexual topics? - Should I open up to him about wanting to talk about various topics I am interested in and try and persuade him to like those things too in the long run, or just accept him and what he offers, like nudes, sexuality, etc.? - Can a long distance relationship work long-term? He lives in the same country. - What are some basic topics related to sexuality that can make our conversations less one-sided and more rich and varied? - He is 4 years younger than me, could that be a problem in certain aspects? If no, why? If yes, why? - I have a feeling of constant lack in the relationship, despite being in it for 1 day.. I cannot put my finger on it or say what it is, because I like him but something is missing and I cannot tell what. What does this mean and is it common? - Is it normal to start relationships this fast, like within knowing each other virtually on the internet just for 1 day? - What should I expect from him? What should I not expect from him? - He's a virgin, I noticed virgins oversexualize things... how can I make it work between us? - Is nudes, sexuality and sexchat the basis of most modern internet relationships or should I worry? - I want to make him happy, but I also want to elevate him and teach him stuff like metaphysics and spirituality. How can I do it most gently, if at all I should? - How do I open up sexually after not being with someone for more than 8 months? All my relationships feel weird, I am hard to open up sexually. I am not sexually repulsed or anything, but I want emotional bonding above raw carnal desires. How can I translate this to his terms, so that the relationship goes smoothly? - I know it's kinda early to ask all these questions, but I rarely get along with someone like this. Last question: what are the basic needs for both parties in a relationship that is long-distance? What spices up a relationship to take it on the next level (possibly not now, but in the coming weeks or months?) - Finally, if you feel like giving me advice or you noticed something I didnt and wanna point it out, feel free to do so! All imput is greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading my long stack of utter trash, if you feel like skipping the first two paragraphs you can do so and just read the last one and the questions.
  6. Hey guys, it's been a while since I was online. If I remember correctly, I left this website/forum, because I considered it a cult and/or toxic. I think I also told Leo to delete my account on some thread and I'm glad he didn't. He is a great and considerate and patient person, and he has all my appreciation for it. Maybe my mind is just not inclined towards the new approaches he has taken lately, but I am trying to evolve spiritually and mentally and to emotionally mature, so I want to first of all say sorry that I called his site a cult and whatnot or if I was rude lately. Please forgive me Leo. You were a great stepping stone in my development and there are few people who are wise like you and do things so selflessly for the community around them. I truly consider you having an important and groundbaking message to give to humanity. Maybe I do not agree with your worldview, but we all have unique perspectives after all, and you provided both value and pain in my life, both was necessary for my personal growth and I appreciate you for that too. For those reading this, happy New Year and Merry Christmas in advance. I hope everyone and your loved ones are ok, looking forward to connect to likeminded individuals again. I feel there is a great need for growth in me lately, and I wish to seek advice on various aspects of day-to-day reality. Glad to be back again, I actually have lots of stuff to work on. Will post on respective forum sections.
  7. It happened to me recently, but usually never happens. So what helps is to keep your vibes positive, be in the flow, have a cheerful attitude. Also when it happened to me I imagined sending white light to the body parts that were feeling bad. Just remember that it might all be in your imagination, but nevertheless the mind is a very powerful thing so you might want to lay off the psych for a while and concentrate on becoming more positive and happy/carefree. Also avoid doing psych during major transits and full moons.
  8. No it's not.
  9. Try cleaning up your place twice a day. That could be a good start. Not set to a particular hour or time of the day, but maybe daytime and evening, when you're free. For me self-help apps helped a lot. It doesn't really matter which one you use, I'm just saying that apps that gamify tasks can be very useful, but only if they are minimalistic enough for you to easily use them. I use Finch to manage most of my self-care habits. Try to associate the activity with something pleasant, like putting on meditation music or lighting a scented candle or incense stick. You could put the paperwork in a drawer or buy a folder for them that you keep in a safe place. Maybe make a habit that you only rest or work when the room is tidy. But you need motivation for this. You can make it work though. Make the activity fun, maybe buy a cloth/fabric freshener, so then you look forward to getting your stuff nice and organized and fresh.
  10. I'm not any professional or athlete or anything.. but you mentioned fasting with coffee and water, and I used to do the exact same thing in the past, so I hopped on this thread to say that it's extremely damaging to do that. So if you can, please please eat 5 meals or more a day, that would include 3 big meals and a few snacks (perhaps protein bars or whatever you're having). And at least 3 to 5 portions of fruits or veggies raw daily. I've been studying these informations I just gave you for a while now and this is what they recommend for the best health. And I tried it and it really gives me great energy boost, also uplifted mood.
  11. Appreciate your hard work, Leo. I'm sorry this happened and it sounds scary, I'm glad that I didn't get any messages.
  12. @Nahm They are beautiful and profound contemplations, I started reading them but I don't understand much, I must be really underdeveloped spiritually or something is wrong with me haha. But I saved it for later, I might just need to read them a few times to make sense. I might even message you later to ask a few questions. Thank you.
  13. @Matthew85 hey guys I'm back again sorry for the late response.. Yes actually, I started doing breathing exercises, focusing on daily self-care routines and exercises including skincare. And a few days ago I checked out a few YouTubers that talk about feminine essence and I've been trying to follow some tips but I'm kinda new to it, but that's ok since those tips are mostly for women 25+ I don't need psychedelics, I naturally fall into trips. I actually got meds prescribed for these hightened moods, serotonine suppressants and whatnot.. Since my last login I tried lots of things like journaling, I also found out I don't want to change anything about myself other than smiling more and being softer in my approach with socializing, like just generally friendlier and being kind and open. Right now I am focusing on physical health and diet. What tips do you have for expanding consciousness, as you named it? What helped you in your journey and self-Image? Did you also have self-esteem issues before, and how did you handle it? Thanks in advance.
  14. I'm actually willing to try this myself. I also use affirmations and out-loud positive self talk. It's just feels weird to praise myself while being alone in my room haha.. Thank you, this post was really enlightening. I will try to work on myself more.
  15. Yes I totally agree with the Everything is Self part. I know what you mean.. beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. In indian culture there is no such thing as God of Beauty for example, such as Aphrodite for the greeks.. or maybe Helene. I am still spiritual and I tend to see things with the spirit's eye rather than being judgemental. I'm talking about social life. And the way I get treated.. What I actually wanted to express with my initial post is that it's so hard to live up to the expectations of men who judge you by your appearance alone most of the time, and also the western beauty standard for females.. By which I mean extremely long hair, feline/fox/doe eyes, small upturned nose, sharp v jaw and a body that is perfectly thick in the right places but also skinny enough not to have any belly fat and all that other body stuff... Like I'm always told by men that they hate my short hair. I honestly by my own choice I'd have extra short hair because thats just what appeals to me. Also to dye it crazy colours... but everyone tells me to grow my hair.. and why only me? I bet other girls who are perfect and pretty dont get told to grow their hair in case they have it short.. They just get told how cute their pixie cut is. But when it comes to me, they are so inconsiderate. It hurts me when ppl tell me that I look better with long hair.. What if I told them they look better without glasses or they should lose 30kg? They would lose their mind! But when it comes to me, everyone allows themselves to hurt me directly. Or to be inconsiderate. Also people trying to shame me by telling me I look like a guy... so now I am scared to wear basic unisex clothing outdoors. Like black t-shirts and straight jeans. So it's not just me judging myself, I actually feel victimized to the point I don't leave the house because I feel so bad about myself that I cannot feel ready enough to appear in front of other humans. And that just makes me cry.