Aquarius

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  1. "Me versus them"-thinking only separates.
  2. @Pilgrim What I tried to point you towards is that you find faults in yourself instead and act as if those men had some special powers just because they are quiet and thoughtful. Most men are quiet and thoughtful. Why is being quiet and thoughtful any better than being vibrant and energetic? In both cases these attributes are mere characteristics! Try not revealing too much about yourself at once. Let your energies speak with each other instead.
  3. Men go on no-fap because for some men masturbation becomes a bad habit. And when you can masturbate you have no need to meet women and form healthy relationships. And you end up chasing fantasy images of women not real women. Visualization is only powerful when you translate it to real life actions afterwards.
  4. 2/17/19 Breakfast - cheese, orange
  5. @cetus56 It's not good or bad, it's nothing. What is it?
  6. Not all gay men like feminine men. Some gay men are literally hairy cavemen. And that's ok.
  7. But I've been in this state for the last couple of days!
  8. Twins represent a sort of split duality or opposites in your mind. One twin can represent the subconscious and the other the conscious waking motives. Something to contemplate is that anger is suppressed sadness. The sadness and feeling of abandonment is subconscious, but the frustration can show in the form of anger. I could sense a feeling of abandonment in your description of the dream, especially where you mention the twin getting upset. It might be a part of you that feels that it has been let down by someone. And this can show of you being overly careful and overcompensating for your mistakes.
  9. Between Life and Death A letter to my body I'm sorry I played tricks with you. I'm sorry I pushed you to limits that were inhumane. And you persisted, you never left me. I would've deserved to be left to death, but you kept me alive. I don't know why is this. Why are you so kind with me? It's not a matter of deserving, as I don't. I take each breath as it were my last, and I look through blinding eyes and blots of color are all that I see right now. Searching for something external to hold onto in these times of hanging, the hanging between regret and inaction. Searching for something to give you but you refuse everything now. You were always my best friend, and you are so beautiful. And you always were. I failed to recognize this. Even in these times of sickness and despair you never leave me. I don't want you to. This is serious matter and you cannot give up.. I can give you a tea maybe. Would it have any use for you? Could you use it to make something beautiful out of it? You're cold. No one cared about you, and I tortured you. But you persist. How calm you can be in these times of pain.. You were teaching people patience with your every move today. Very nice, you served me well. Maybe it's time to dress you into something that would flatter you. Something that you can sleep in. I love you a lot. You are my everything. You can be very playful. I just watch you in those times... You never hesitate to tell a need, but I refused to give it to you. I've been evil towards you all this time. Forgive me now. You deserve more and I've been letting you down lately. I used you and abused you. Now I need you more than ever. I understand your need to hear something that is true. And the need to feel love and see beauty. And there's no excuses, I shall give you the opportunities to experience those before it's too late. You will be safe with me. We make good team. Be here with me for a little more...
  10. Dinner: beans, fries, lemon juice, grapes, oranges Breakfast: cheese, grapes, banana I got some nasty inflammation of my entire body for whatever reason and I'm having headaches, not sure about the cause. I'm unable to work out, I'm in pain.
  11. The state of complete emptiness and peace within. What is it?
  12. I thought Leo Gura means lion mouth.
  13. @Nahm We made a test and it has brought up my past because it had questions for the last 6 months, and I change radically each day. It has slowed down my evolutionary process. I seriously tend to not care about my past, as if I got reborn or something. "You can have everything but you have no desires anymore. You can get all the answers but you have no questions anymore." I keep hearing this in my head when I ask myself what's the problem. I assume I lost something. But I don't know what. Lust for life, perhaps?
  14. Yeah, the therapy helps a bit. I've only been like 3-4 times, it takes time. My mind is already empty. I have no idea what to write or type.