Bill W

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About Bill W

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    London UK
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  1. Haha. The Aliens were able to verify your fap. Everyone is a winner lol
  2. Were you and your friend fapping together at the time? 😁
  3. I haven't updated this journal in a while. For now, I am running on auto-pilot. A dog chasing it's tail. Going nowhere. However, within the context of how my quality of life has been over the past few years, I'm probably running at about 5/10 right now. Somewhere in the middle. Not where I want to be, but a hell of a lot better than living in extreme fear, addiction, and isolation, which thankfully is not the case right now. 13 months clean, 100% free of alcohol and pills, but my workaholic tendencies (addiction) are back in full force. I am not accepting of the fact that I am now in the zone of diminishing returns with the amount of hours I'm spending on my day job. I'm in 95% denial and 5% realisation that this is happening. As I type, I accept this, tomorrow, I will probably wake up back in denial. That's the good thing about having a journal to look back on. (the law of) diminishing returns used to refer to a point at which the level of real achievement (my words) profits or benefits gained is less than the amount of time and effort (my words) money or energy invested. At times like this, I've learned (but failed to consistently implement) to just KEEP IT SIMPLE. To temporarily let go of the "big personal development plan" and just put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing. With this in mind, I'd like to end on this......... Don't pass the suffering on This is what I will try my hardest to do tomorrow. I (we?) suffer and I (we?) pass it on. Don Miguel Ruiz writes that the human condition is one of an infection that we acquire at about 4 or 5 years old. Passed on to us from our parents or caregivers who themselves are infected. He also writes that we then get full up of emotional poison, we then need to release this poison to try and escape it. Initially, we try to give it back to the person we feel gave it to us, but if we can't do that, we just end up giving it to anyone we can find. So, just for tomorrow, I'm going to focus on managing my suffering without projecting it on to the world. To not be a victim. To not play the blame game. But, boy it's hard to do that.
  4. People believe what they want to believe. No fap. Fapping. No porn. Using porn. None of it really matters. People search for that "A causes B" scenario. The benefits of no fap or no porn are the same as any other time when you successfully introduce some discipline into your life. Whenever you set yourself a target to control your impulses and you succeed, it will feel good and you will think you are on to a winner and want to shout it from the roof tops. You then get people wanting to defend their position. Happens all the time. And some of that will be true. If it works for you, go for it. Fap or no fap. Porn or no porn. It's not important. It's just another way to project your inner problems onto the outside world and you end up playing the victim and/or the blame game.
  5. Porn gets such a bad deal on here! Just don't let it become an obsession. The problem is never the porn and never the fapping. Its like many things in life, be sensible and use in moderation. If you are vulnerable to porn and fapping then work on your inner issues rather than laying the blame external to you.
  6. Thoughts are often not a problem until you act on them or respond to them. I don't think you need to control your thoughts to take responsibility. Action speaks louder than thoughts. I can't remember who said this but it was something like "trying to control your thoughts is like trying to hold a river in your hands" If you try to control your thoughts you are pissing in the wind. That's my experience. It's how you interact with your thoughts that's key. The mind is a master story teller.
  7. Sometimes not everything is so black and white.
  8. I love you Pernani, but for me, it is homo, big homo.
  9. Whenever you feel empty
  10. Leo, what is your opinion of mental masturbation?
  11. You know there are a few of these threads. People just post a video or video with no explanation or rationale. There is no real input from the thread starter and no real effort to start a discussion. I'm sorry for being negative my friend. Maybe it's just me having a rant and the mods don't care about this, but it can also help your thread flourish by making an effort to type an intro or something at least. I know you did type one small sentence under one clip.
  12. @modmyth I love that. Thank you for sharing it
  13. Yeh but it I've got this right, she will also have to accept herself as God?