Search the Community

Nothing can be done at all about man's transformation, everything is going to happen the way it is going to happen. It is because of this attitude India has suffered most.

Oh my goodness man thanks for looking out for me. Its true! It is an ungrounding experience that slows down the inner kundalini transformation because its too much for the consciousness to handle! So what do you think I should do?!!!!!! Should I sell my laptop? Or block twitch and youtube, and use my (oh this breaks my heart, I have actually a brand new gaming laptop) computer for school only? I mean That is such a shame, its like using your ferari for garbage disposal! So do you think I have a problem? I look at gaming videos for entertainment! And obviously you seem knowledgeable and all which I honor and respect. What is your opinion?!

Judging or criticism are ego based actions so the chances of finding a judgmental enlightened being is really unlikely. But would things change? Um...I can't imagine the ego transcending unless it's benefiting from it in some sort of way so no, the world would probably carry on as it were. Finding a shade of grey would imply some sort of transformation going on but I'm not sure about this, I'm open to other views. But what's your point exactly should I accept things as they are?

I am reborn. I had a hair cut, a cleansing shower, and lovely deep massage ? To honour this transformation, I choose to focus on the love in my heart as much as possible; and do one thing everyday that I enjoy like smiling at myself in the mirror. I choose all of reality over some fragments of it. I surrender to my heart, softly, and gently a little bit more than yesterday. I want to see where this love takes me. I don’t mind fear anymore, when it arises I embrace it with my entire self. It is such a beautiful feeling when you surrender. And when I surrender, all of these emotions reminiscently disappear; and all I’m left with is bliss, and sometimes this vast emptiness that I enjoy spending time in. I am not fighting against anything. I am embracing everything with unconditional love. That’s my purpose here. I love you all so so much. May the light fill your eyes today. This is the start of a more refined, and blissful lifestyle from the seed to the flowers. From the heart all the way to creation. And only one thing need be done, that of surrender.

Look at Ken Wilber and what he calls the 3 forms of development: waking up (enlightenment) cleaning up (emotional mastery) Growing up (personal development) @Leo Gura also had an AMAZING interview with Peter Ralston, and one of the clips they talk about what Ralston calls “personal transformation” and why it’s important.

Lol I discovered the secret of success at least in my mind. Haha It is this Lots of positive energy. A vehicle needs fuel to run and speed to reach the destination. [my English lol] This speed is attained by the energy derived from the fuel. In life we need positive momentum or speed to move. This positive momentum only comes from positive energy which in turn comes from Positivity. This momentum makes it possible to get speed and to move at a faster rate towards the goals. Now if there's a hurdle in the road, the momentum or speed causes you to crash against that hurdle and overcome it and pass over it. This point where you cross the hurdle is the breakthrough point. Once you have crossed many hurdles, the journey becomes smoother and easier and then begins the process of transformation. Before the hurdle you are person A and after you have crossed the hurdle you are person B. And this is success. Remember that real success is only that which is defined by the universe and not by humanity. What happens when you are negative. Negativity causes negative momentum or zero speed or even backward movement. This means the distance between you and the hurdle increases and then the hurdle gets bigger and you get trapped in your hurdles and problems and you slowly start to degrade. Whereas when you are closer to the hurdle, the hurdle gets smaller and it's easier to cross over it. 9 out of 10 people you are going to interact with are going to make you feel negative. Much of the world is stuck and mired in negativity and this is the major cause of the problems, chaos, suffering, entropy in the world. We have so much money, technology, resources, ability, knowledge and so many people almost 7 billion or more and still we cannot achieve progress and in fact the burden of problems is increasing and we are going backwards instead of progressing forward. We can choose to work synergistically and make it possible for each one of us to have a good life but instead we choose to create antagonism and discord and act parasitic to each other and feed on each other and create negativity and ultimately destruction. Positivity is the ultimate secret to the success defined by the universe. Universe defines success as vitality, growth, flourishing, sustainance, survival and beauty, order, flow, equilibrium, rhythm and perfection. It's already seen in nature which is perfectly designed by God with intelligent design in mind. God has already shown what success should be. Yet man has created his own definition of success and its all about making money and ruling others and achieving fame.

What good it will do if a enlightened master start teaching about fruits of enlightenment and all the psychic powers you can achieve, and starts demonstrating them ? He will attract wrong people. Buddha talked about nothingness because we are greedy and our greed and lust for power will become a hindrance on the path. He is interested in your transformation.

None. There will be no you once you get it. Not in the same sense you currently have about 'you'. It is a form of self-transformation. You just have to see it for yourself. If you can stop yourself from pursuing it, then go ahead and do so.

Rumination is cerebral. Contemplation as a spiritual practice doesn't really involve thinking. It's more of a gentle holding something in mind. It could be contemplation upon a statement/idea or it could be the softening of your attention from content to the field of consciousness or witnessing (context). Rumination is the impulsive seeking of the mind which takes gratification from intellectualization, taking positions on subjects and deriving emotions from the whole pursuit. Contemplation is more of a surrendering/yin position than a doing/yang. It's a gentle detachment that re-contextualizes your experience by it's own merit. Rumination is like trying to find a mouse by sticking your arm in a mouse-hole and bending it around all the corners to try to find something, where as contemplation is like watching the mouse-hole without expectation and for its own sake. It's like an invitational finessing of truth. If in contemplation you feel like you're trying to gain something, or you're not quite there yet, or you're confused, then maybe you're likely ruminating. The re-contextualization that allows for the potential of transformation becomes fulfilling by itself without needing epiphanies.

So, a little back story: At the beginning of 2018 I made the conscious decision to attend a meditation retreat. I was planning on attending a Vipassana retreat but was unable to because of of my life situation. So, I decided to set up my own backyard solo retreat for 7 full days to immerse myself into consciousness work. I knew this would be a challenge, because theres a lot of distraction available where i live. I've also heard people advise against making your first meditation retreat solo, so that put some doubts in my head of whether or not I will be able to complete it. However, I was ready to give it my best and see what happens. Also for the record, I didn't plan the structure of my schedule beforehand, other than the practices that I will use as well as the commitment to to put in a minimum of 9-10 hours of formal practices each day. I spent most of the retreat in my backyard cottage, which is small but fits a chair and my mattress. I cooked in my main house. Practices I used: Mindfulness Meditation Do-nothing Labeling Feeling the body Self-inquiry / Contemplation Concentration practice Kriya Yoga Holotropic breathing The goal was to also remain mindful throughout mundane tasks like cooking and cleaning. Heres what my typical day looked like: 10min concentration 60min do-nothing 15min concentration 60min self-inquiry 30min Kriya Yoga 60min Self-inquiry 10min Concentration 70min labeling 10min concentration 75min do-nothing 60min holotropic breathwork 10min relaxation meditation 30min labeling 30min Self inquiry 10min concentration Day 1 The first day was tough. Lots of strong emotions came up and I really didn't feel like myself. I was aware that this was not going to be a cake walk. Meditations were quite unfocused, but I did have a few points of access concentration. This was the day I realized on a deeper level what it means to practice & apply spirituality. I felt restless, uneasy and quite melancholic. I felt many doubts of my purpose and of the retreat itself. I knew however, that I will do everything it takes to get this done. Insights of the day: Love people for who they are, rather than constantly projecting my opinion of what they should be more like. Compassion and understanding for others is deeply important. All this craziness and neurosis that we see everywhere is understandable, and this becomes deeply apparent on these retreats. I began to see how my mind has all those qualities too, and I saw how difficult it can be to channel that energy to something that raises our awareness. Day 2 Day 2 was easier than expected. Although I faced some boredom, my meditations were generally enjoyable. My monkey mind is still quite strong, especially in the morning, but calmed down a bit since yesterday. I also got a verification from myself that the purpose I've chosen for myself is the right one. All the doubting i had was basically just fear in disguise. Insights of the day: technology, entertainment and the media, all fuck up your ability to think for yourself. This became very apparent to me because I realized how much of my mind was filled with the media I had consumed prior to the retreat. This really opened my eyes to consider minimizing technology and media consumption after I leave the retreat. Trust your hearts deepest motive (as cliche as that sounds.) Day 3 Overall, this day was gruelling. So much boredom, mixed with addictions faced. It feels like I'm at war with my own mind. At the end of today however, I became certain that I will undoubtedly complete this retreat, because if I can withstand this, I can withstand it all. Thoughts about sex and money came up today. Thoughts like "maybe I should pursue more sex instead. This spirituality seems kinda boring, and its not what i thought it was." Insights of the day: The new refined concepts about what you are (Awareness, reality, God, the present) are all concepts still just concepts and none of them are any more superior self concepts than any of those former, less spiritual ones. You need to learn to transcend this in order to actually experience Truth. Less is more. Simplify your life. Do 5 tasks per day at the most, and do them deliberately. I've been overworking and trying to complete too many things each day. Distractions are created to hide the fact that you are limiting yourself. It was never the external causing any chaos, it was the internal - my mind. I got a deeper understanding of why people are addicted today. The mind is a tricky thing, and its infinitely deceptive. I really don't know anything about spirituality. Day 4 Another hard day. My monkey mind has been extremely severe for the first half of the day. Some life problems were on my mind, and i saw my mind strategizing and trying to solve those problems. My mind was also constantly looking into the future and creating new ideas, stories and goals to keep myself occupied and excited. However, after about 6pm I suddenly went into a deep state of focus in my self inquiry session and was able to maintain it for 2 hours. This was the deepest I had ever gone with self-inquiry/meditation on a sober mind. After this, my concentration slowly dissolved. I then decided to do a session of holotropic breathing, which went well. Insights of the day: You have not done real consciousness work until you've been to one of these retreats. This is where the embodiment process takes place. Lots of addictions, fears and unconscious aggressions come up on these retreats. Basically all the things you've been hiding in your subconscious mind - the shadow aspects of yourself bubble right up. This is therapeutic and healing, but it's painful. Its all the stuff you keep distracting yourself from with all the technology, socializing, work, sex, media, food, entertainment etc. Stop trying to "become everything" in existence. That concept you have of enlightenment needs to be chucked away. It isn't it. Stop clinging to it. If what you are is no thing, then mind will never ever be able to grasp it. Thats why you aren't enlightened yet. You're waiting for Mind to derive the answer, which is impossible. Notice how quickly you create stories about yourself and of life. Stop believing in them. Discipline yourself to the point where you see through the whole illusion. Day 5 Today was a good day in terms of meditation focus. I felt like I got great insights in terms of how self inquiry & meditation work. I also did 60min of holotropic breathing. At the end of the day I got a very deep vision of my mission on earth. I wrote it down and I fell asleep inspired & motivated. Insights of the day: Next time you get a negative thought/emotion about yourself; reflect on it. Don't push it away. Look directly into it and meet it with love and understanding, like it were your only child. To master yourself and spirituality you must face boredom head on. Boredom is the roadblock that keeps you from peace of mind. Stop judging friends and family for not being spiritual. This goes against what you're going after with this whole transformation process. Everyone is exactly where they personally need to be in their life. Enlightenment literally means you are everything. You are the exact thing that is happening right now. Nothing less. Compassion & real authentic empathy are key to positive relationships. These retreats are effective at showing what you value and what kind of life you want to live. DAY 6 Inspiring day. In the morning, I was feeling genuinely good about meditating, and felt really sure about my practice. But towards the evening I started experiencing feelings boredom & cravings. I decided to do another 60 minute session of holotropic breathing. During the session I felt no significant strong emotions, or feeling sensations other than the typical tingling sensations around various parts of the body & a weird strong rising up feeling in heart chakra for a split second. But after finishing the session, after going back to meditation, I started getting deep memories from my childhood, many of which came with a strong emotional charge. Memories of my family splitting as well as some embarrassing moments from my childhood. These feelings felt like they were bubbling up from the unconscious mind, and I took a positive attitude towards them, facing them head on and accepting them. I felt that all these emotions came up for me to let them go and so I did. After that i felt great. Insights of the day: Retreats will bring you closer to the sense of wonder, lightheartedness and playful attitude towards life that you felt when you were a kid. To be an extraordinary human being, you must think, act, talk, eat and create like one. Start doing this right now and it will become a reality. Sounds like some new-agey stuff but it works. Perfectionism is something I struggle with. I need to work on that. Mood is mood. Don't identify with it. Let it be there and accept it with all your heart. This is emotional mastery. DAY 7 Woke up feeling unmotivated to do the practices. Heaps of thoughts about what I will do when I leave the retreat. The last day was the hardest in terms of focus ability. I really got a close look at all the addictions that i have. Many of which I was not even aware of before. I even felt like playing video games - something I haven't felt like doing much for nearly 5 years. Ego also got really dramatic today. Towards the end of the day I got fed up with formal practices and decided to take a mindful walk. I walked down my street and started observing ants on the sidewalk. Ended up spending a good 20min just observing a group of these little guys devouring a decent sized earth worm. Fascinating stuff. Insights: A solid retreat like this will show you where you are at in terms of addictions. If you think you're not addicted, and have never been to one of these retreats, I urge you to complete one and then we can talk again. Theory is important in terms of meditation/ non-duality. Self-deception will otherwise take over completely, which will greatly hinder your ability to transcend your Self. Rude awakening: I thought concentration and focus will have exponential growth as the retreat progresses. For me it turned out to be quite the opposite. Here are two grapths to show you what I mean: My expectation: The reality: End of retreat: I felt excited to leave the retreat, but equally melancholic. There is something beautiful about living in solitary silence, immersing yourself in spirituality. In a sense, it feels like home, since it brings you back to what it felt like to be a kid. These retreats will also be effective at deepening your vision for your life, and what it means to have a life purpose. When I came out of this retreat, after a couple days of afterglow, I started to feel quite sad and depressed. This shocked me quite a bit. I started feeling insecure and I felt my ego wanting to kick back (something to watch out for after one of these retreats or a psychedelic trip.) After a week, I'm still not fully out of this rut, but hearing various perspectives on it from this forum has helped me tremendously. Also just the simple reminder that these kinds of reactions are normal can be enough to lift you up from that little aftershock that you may feel after one of these retreats. Tips for people who want to do a solo retreat: Make sure to do a pre-mortem for your solo retreat if you plan to do one. Watch Leo's pre-mortem video for details on how to make one. Decide strictly on how many days you will do and commit to it with all your heart. Shut off all technology, close all the books and put it all away into a closet. Commit to not using any of it throughout the retreat. One exception is the Kriya workbook if you are using it. Don't get discouraged by monkey mind. There will be a lot of it. Push through. Writing down insights can be a good idea, but don't use it as a distraction from doing the formal practices. Watch out for subtle distractions, like cleaning the place constantly, fixing things that don't really need fixing, taking "mindful walks" & snacking all the time etc. Long-term thinking will motivate you to finish the whole retreat. Many benefits will come from doing one of these retreats.

Having suffered from a degree of confusion that reached a point that left me crippled and paralyzed in bed, unable to make choices sometimes to the smallest details, questioning almost every existential matter possible, I believe I have a certain authority on this subject. After having have watched Leo's video on the topic of confusion —whilst he made some very valid points and I don't criticize his video as a whole altogether— it is my feeling that I am able to contribute even further to this topic, since I had to develop my own way and strategies on how to deal with an incredibly confused mind; A mind that didn't know what left or right was, that didn't know what forward or back was, what up or down was, what was going to help me or what was going to hurt me. The advice I'm going to give is to anyone who is sincere enough to face the fact of his own ignorance, to admit to himself that he doesn't know the answer to the dilemma he is in. If you try to resolve your confusion by clinging to some idea you have learned in the past, you are not being sincere to yourself. Also, the confusion I'm going to portray in my story is the confusion of facing the existential desert; it is the confusion where you have lost your orientation, and don't know where to go next anymore. I feel like many people face confusion, but it is not about being totally lost and disoriented as far as life itself is concerned; it is about facing an obstacle which you are unsure how to navigate around it. But beyond that obstacle, you still see a certain heading or direction. My confusion is about the deepest, existential confusion possible. Nevertheless, the advice I'm going to give at the end of the post is applicable for both "ordinary" confusion and "existential" confusion. Let me give you a short peek of my story. My story Having read and watched much material on the topic of spirituality and mysticism, particularly from Osho, I found myself eventually in a state where I started to lose my capacity to orient myself. If you know Osho, you know that his teaching can be incredibly contradictory and non-linear, primarily for the simple fact that his books have been derived from his talks, which often was oriented to answer questions, and he himself said that it was his purpose to answer the questioner instead of the question. This implies that he accounts for the questioner's unique situation, which means it is specifically applicable to that person, but may in fact be harmful to another person. But this was Osho's approach. I on one hand loved the many different perspectives he brought to the table, and the cleverness and intelligence he presented these perspectives, but on the other hand he never clarified a specific path, a certain clarity of which to derive orientation from, as far as your evolutionary progress of consciousness concerned. Maybe in one book he presented such a model to understand it, but in another book you would yet again feel contradicted. Regardless, eventually I became very confused to all this vast array of knowledge, as I had a large amount of perspectives, but no clear direction, or something that I could work towards. I was simply too confused, too overwhelmed by the vast amount of possibilites on literally every subject. Eventually this lead me so far down the rabbit hole I started to become suicidal. Not suicidal because I thought ending my life would be the solution to my problems, but rather, because I had this strong sense that SOMETHING had to be done amidst my complete paralysis, and not the idea of suicide, but the idea of pushing my pain so much I would perhaps have a transformation at the brink of suicide, appealed to my egoic mind the most at that time. The egoic mind had me completely in its grip, and this idea I had come across that only in absolute despair you are able to be transformed, somehow appealed a little bit to me too much, which I was trying to push the pain through suicidial behaviour. Of course, the idea that you need utter despair is also simply a perspective, which doesn't have to be valid or at least relevant to my situation, but it seemed very real to me at the time. After some time, I realized that it was going to be actual suicide (which I didn't want to do in the first place, so it was really a gimmick to begin with), or I needed not to hope for transformation, but to actually transform myself, which also wasn't going to be this one-time event. But if you're so incredibly confused, that every time you think of a possibility or perspective, then immediately your mind throws in the opposite viewpoint, discerning your initial plan, then it becomes incredibly difficult, because you have no idea what you're supposed to be doing in the first place. I would describe the situation you're in —or think you're in— at that point with being submerged in the sea on a moonless night, with no orientation whatsoever. You want to breathe, you in fact you want to breathe desperately, but you can't tell where the surface is. You don't know what is up or down, left or right, forward or backward... Then how to make a choice? What if you accidentally simply go deeper down into the sea and drown altogether? This is how the situation of utter confusion feels like. You feel like you're starting to run out of breath by the fatigue of the confusion you've already been battered with, but you're afraid to move of making the situation even worse. The reality in this metaphor is, however, that you in fact have gills, and that you need to start swimming for oxygen and thus life to run through your gills! Of course when you're still in the water there is no water running through your gills, and thus you're not deriving any oxygen from the water. But if you have gills, then it doesn't matter which direction you're swimming. But we'll get to that. So how did I manage to get myself out of such a state of confusion. Well... I will portray this by a quote from (who else but) Osho. What does this story imply? What does it signify? It is a metaphor for disorientation, for existential confusion. It is the stream of life. It tells us about how we are able to navigate the terrain of life with a certain capacity to orient ourselves. It doesn't mean the terrain is always smooth and cooperative, and sometimes there are obstacles which have to be navigated around, but at least we can recognize that they're obstacles as such. You may be confused, uncertain as to how to get around a certain obstacle, but at least you can see it as an obstacle and you know the terrain continues after that. But as far as the desert is concerned... Then what? For as far as you can see there are only dry sands, and you begin to dry up... Where to go? This story talks about the winds. About how to trust the winds to carry you over. It sounds absurds to the mind. What winds? You see yourself as seperate from the winds. You think you have to find your navigation by your own... but there is no landmark whatsoever for orientation. The winds portray the Tao; The winds signify the flow of existence, of life. The egoic mind is diametrically opposed against this flow. If you were to become one with this flow, it would mean ego death. So how can the ego possibly not resist it? It has to! But ultimately, the way to get out of this confused, disoriented state is to relinquish your personal resistance against life, against the flow of life, and allows yourself to be carried with it. What does this mean in practical terms? How did I apply this in my personal situation. Going beyond my confusion Realizing I needed to transform myself instead of waiting on a transformation to happen, I realized two essential things. First off, I needed a determination for myself, a commitment. I had read "when going through hell don't stop" from Douglas Bloch at that time, and the title couldn't be more appropiate. It is one of the best titles for a book ever made. It is exactly that: When you're in an incredible amount of suffering, then why stop exactly there? Then why get obsessed with it and start fighting and reacting against it? You won't manage to push it away; in fact, you'll only stop right in the middle of it instead of moving further. If you were in actual hell, but you knew it had a beginning and an end, would you stop there to go sightseeing whilst being consumed by fire? Of course not! So his book called for a longer-term determination. An attitude that no matter what happens, you'll keep setting one step at a time and hold this vision for yourself that things will get better. He also recommended a mood journal: noting down how your day went every day, rating it by a number. This can be very helpful, since it allows you to stay with it in a certain objectivity; You don't get as lost in your subjective experiences and judgements about yourself, but you stay objective to some degree. This is not necessarily a tool for dealing with confusion per se, since it also helpful for getting out any sort of ditch; be it depression, anxiety, or what have you. But it is definitely an essential attitude that I needed to develop at the time being, and it can help you too. The second important attitude I needed to change, and this one is relevant specifically to confusion, is that I needed to make choices for the sake of making choices itself. Instead of trying to make the best decision possible, the emphasis now shifted on making the choice anyways, on the capacity to make choices for choices sake. This meant many choices were made, with no idea on what basis I was making them. Sometimes I would choose A, sometimes I would choose B, and then the next day A again, and sometimes AB... or C... And with absolutely no (apparent) intuitive or mental foundation on to which base this decision! At least at first, it was all seemingly at random! There seemed to be no pattern to it. This was a major shift in focus, and required a great amount of trust. This trust is what the story was talking about, the story about the stream of life. This trust is something very mysterious, because where does this trust come from? How do you know you can trust this trust? What guaranteed me that simply making choices for choices sake was going to get me out of all this confusion? It certainly wasn't something that was immediately obvious when I started to attempt to trust this trust, that showed itself clearly that "this is the way". But somehow, this trust somehow always remained somewhere on the background from that point on. Even when it seemed faraway and sometimes even appeared nonexistent, it always remained on the background somewhere, sometimes without me noticing it. Why was this trust there? What logical basis was there to show me that I could rely on this trust? There was none, as I've already been able to doubt absolutely anything anyways. And neither was there a sense of intuition that I was aware of that was guiding me. But when times are so rough that there is really no other alternative than to evolve, miracles can happen. A response from your being then comes stronger than the objections than your mind can make, and you now start functioning from a complete unknown source, a source not supported by the mind or logic, or even by feelings, how I felt about something. Because I had made choices by logic alone, which ultimately had failed, and I had made choices from feelings alone, which ultimately had failed. On top of that, any "feeling-intutive" sense also now seemed to be obscured by the excessive mind activity. Now how to make choices? From what center? But I had to make choices, so that's what I did. By and by, functioning from an unknown source became more comfortable to me. I still didn't know for sure I was making the right choices or decisions, and there still showed no consistent, reliable pattern, but the anxiety about "needing to make the right choice" seemed to cease more and more. I became more relaxed in it. That's when it started to become more and more clear to me that it was never about the choices and decisions I made in the first place —it never was— but about the quality of how you make your decisions, and how whole-heartedly you make those decisions. Then you can relax in it, whatsoever you choose to do. The decisions you make now come from a deeper place. I call it: Being-intuition. How does my experience apply to you? (advice part) Understand that you reading this may not have reached the point yet where you are able to act the same way I now act, regarding the way I make decisions, but nevertheless there are some things I wish I would've known when I was at the height of my confusion. Let us first be clear about what confusion actually is. In its most simple definition: The need to know. If you are confused, it means you need to know something, otherwise something within you remains unsatisfied. Isn't it a little bit strange? Can't existence be fine without you understanding it? Babies don't know anything at all, yet they're perfectly happy. But our minds want to be able to grasp, want to understand, are afraid of the unknown. If we want confusion to settle, we need to let go of our need to know. But ultimately, this is not possible in the beginning. The compulsion to understand is too great even if we intellectually understand and agree that ultimately there is nothing that we can and should try to know. Just because we are aware that there is no necessity to know, does not mean we are instantly able to stop this momentum of unsatisfiable curiosity. Nor should we. Acknowledgement of the fact that we do not know the answer is the first step. Acknowledgement that there is no need to ultimately know anything nor could we, is the second step. Or I should say: Acknowledgement of the fact that the possiblity of the previous statement exists. It has not been your experience yet that nothing could or should be known, and just because I say so may convince your mind, but it will not convince the deeper core of your being, of your system. For that reason, if you have the need to really ponder and contemplate upon a certain subject, don't hesitate to do so! If you live by the idea that nothing can be known and nothing should be attempted to try to know anything, you're going directly against yourself. For you, this is simply an idea that is being presented to you; It has not been your reality yet. If you try to avoid confusion or questioning, you will be fighting against yourself, you will start become divided and ultimately this will lead to a lot of unnecessary suffering. What needs to happen is that your intellectual sword of the many opposing perspectives and ideas need to be sharpened to such an extent, that just by experience you start to see the futility of it. The futility is of the fact that despite having all this knowledge, all these perspectives, all these ideas, you still don't know how to live by them. You still don't know how to implement them into your own life. You still don't know how to integrate them, where to find the balance, which perspective to apply when, and how to actually live it! The map is not the territory! But this can only happen when you take your contemplation, your questioning and pondering to the most extreme degree possible for you, as to where you will start to see the futility of your knowledge as far as your happiness is concerned by your own experience. Then naturally, you will want to step away from this knowledge because it's becoming too heavy for you. So, paradoxically, the sword of knowledge needs to be sharpened to a degree that it is sharp enough to cut away from itself! If it's blunt it can not cut itself away. Go figure that one out And be very, very honest to yourself. If you try to delude yourself by holding onto an old fixated perspective or by avoiding a certain perspective out of fear because of what implications it could have if it were true, you are only making the process more difficult for yourself But there's one important thing to notice: Just because I give you permission to ponder, question and contemplate, as you should, doesn't mean that you can't take a break from it. Here's what I recommend: I say that whenever a question is on your mind, or that whenever you want to clarify and go deeper into a certain perspective because you are curious how deep the rabbit hole goes, then go and do so. Personally, I'd recommend taking a walk. Taking a walk always helped me quite a bit because it allowed my thoughts to be a little bit clearer and sharper, and thus it significantly made this contemplation process easier. It may not work the same way for you that way, but for me taking a walk definitely helped me. Alternatively, you can also write down your thoughts and get them on paper (or Word or whatever). Then if you write them down, they will have a certain solidity to it. This can also help tremendously. So, if you're then going out taking a walk whils pondering, writing down your thoughts, or just sitting at home contemplating, go as deeply into the matter as possible. Think or write down all the thoughts and perspectives and ideas you can come up with for that time being, and at some point you will notice that either you are out of relevant, renewing thoughts, or your mind simply gets too tired from all this thinking. So at this point is where you decide to let it all down, and just leave it be for now. Now you can give yourself permission to let it all go just for that moment, because you cleared up everything that was possible for you at that moment. Take some rest now, do something else, and later on you'll either go deeper into the same subject, or start pondering upon a new subject (or an interrelated subject), which you can then explore until your mind gets tired. This I found to be the healthiest expression of dealing with confusion. I only learned this after I got through the climax of my personal period of confusion. By the way, after that climax, that crescendo of confusion has ended, there will still be confusion and questioning sometimes, but it will gradually become less and less (intrusive). So: Don't fight confusion, don't pretend that you're above it all and should attempt not to try to know something, but go into it as your mind desires to. If the topic is too much in the forefront of your mind, then allow it to surface! Don't fear confusion, go through it! Do you think you will be able to avoid your matters of confusion for the rest of your life? If you have just a little bit of intelligence, these questions will keep on coming back, demanding your attention to answer them. Now once again, they will not ultimately be answered, as nothing can ultimately be known for sure by the mind, but your perspectives, arguments and viewpoints will be as sharp as you can possibly get them. And when your mind gets too tired, or you're out of renewing ideas and perspectives, at that moment, drop it. Now you are able to. And if you keep on doing this and persisting in questioning, you will reach a point where almost everything has now been questioned and almost every existential perspective (at least the ones that are relevant to you at that moment) have now been clarified, and now the matter of how to drop this questioning mind will come to the forefront by itself. Now it's not something you're trying to make happen, now it's something that starts happening by it own; Now you start questioning the very nature of questioning itself, not because you thought you should, but because your system now requires that from you. And that is the moment that you start moving completely into the unknown. Now you start making decisions from which you do not know on which logic you make them from. If you persist in making decisions and choices on an illogical basis long enough (and notice, the idea of making "illogical decisions" can become another obsession by the mind), you'll now start to connect with true being-intuition. The difference between being-intuition and the more common feeling-intuition is that feeling-intuition just considers how you feel about something, whereas being-intuition both considers how you feel about something, and what you think is necessary to do in that situation, what your mind tells you, and then takes both centers into persective and makes a choice based from the unknown, the unknowable. That is being-intuition: Making choices from the unknown, yet with a strange, unexplainable sense of certainty if you really start to connect with it, which will not happen at first. But at first when you're moving out of confusion, you'll have to make choices anyways, even if you have no sense of certainty whatsoever or what you're doing or why you're doing it. So in conclusion: Questioning is good, it is normal, and should not be repressed. Confusion is only a sign that you're moving forward. Only idiots are not confused. Only idiots can live a life of apparent certainty. You are not such a person, otherwise you would most likely not be reading this. You should be aware from the very getgo that the perspective exists that ultimately nothing can be known at all with certainty by the mind, but if this is merely an idea to you and not an experience, hold the perspective in the back of your mind but don't attach yourself to the idea that "I don't know" either. So question, wonder, ponder, and don't hold back, until your mind temporarily gets tired and you actually feel like dropping it. And when questioning, wondering and pondering, go on a walk or start writing. This can help elevate your level of mental clarity, thus helping the process. And on a longer, more permanent basis, when the whole thing altogether gets too much, and you really want to drop this mind altogether, then you need to start accepting to be absorbed into the flow of life. How do you start doing that? If your realization is deep enough, you will be able to drop it by making decisions based on what appears to be thin air, on no logical basis. And notice: Making decisions based on feelings is also making them "on a logical basis", meaning you logically use your feelings. You can use logic to make decisions, and you can also use your feelings to make decisions, but they are not the primary core of which your decisions come from, they can simply act as facilitating information for the unknown to act from. This may sound as very strange and uncomprehensible to you, but it is only a matter of time until you reach this stage and you will start to understand by experience what I'm talking about. All of this has been at least my experience, my point of view. I can not attest with absolute certainty that what I've described will be the path for everybody, but I reckon it certainly will be for many, because if it could happen in this way to me, it means there were universal laws that allowed and made it to be so, and those universal laws will also apply to other people aswell, though the details may differ. Also notice that you don't necessarily have to go to the same degree of confusion and despair I found myself in. I was a lunatic. And with this guide, I hope to prevent in you the same degree of total confused disorientation Good luck

Good afternoon all First of all I'm a huge fan of Actualized and it has absolutely transformed my entire life over the past year or two. I love you Leo, you are my hero and I hope one day to shake you by the hand, hug you and thank you for everything you've put together here. Despite having watched most Actualized content, this is the first time I've ever instinctively disagreed with something Leo has said. This is more a direct response to only a few words said in the stage green video and I'm hoping Leo himself will reply offering me an explanation, but I'm open to comments from anyone. So I've just watched the stage green video and I'm going to watch yellow this evening. As someone who is potentially 50% green, 30% yellow, and 20% orange with some mixed blue and red in there, I've been swimming in green for several years now and feel like I understand it quite well, including its limitations and extremes. However there was a moment towards the end of Leo's video where he says "Stop caring about social issues so much" "They're important, but they're also not important at all" "Society is progressing at the rate that it needs to be progressing at, society is perfect for this exact moment of time" I fully understand the limitations of green and the need to think about problems systemically rather than preaching and feeling that "love and compassion" will solve all our problems. However these statements by Leo shocked me as they do not make logical sense at all. Yes society will naturally progress and evolve as time goes on, yes politics is often a system of trial and error, yes the economy is like an organism with its own evolution and growth, but none of that means we as individuals should not be concerned and actively taking part in social evolution? ALL past social revolutions and large scale psychological transformation was instigated and accelerated by people who had began to progress to a more developed stage and used their understanding to educate others. I have found myself recently getting involved with vegan/animal activism, I wont go into too much detail about this, but I take part in groups who go out into the public and educate people about the animal agriculture industry and the horrors that are inflicted upon billions of innocent sentient beings across the globe. We advocate for polite and rational dialogue and our conversations are usually very productive, seeing many people make the connection between the food they buy and the animals they claim to love. We present facts, statistics, show slaughterhouse footage and politely encourage them to accept the truth which is that it is not necessary for our health or survival to consume animal products. If they take what we are saying seriously, we present them with more information and they often make the change to a vegan diet, if not then we thank them for their time and they go about their day. We do this because we understand that systemically, the root cause of animal abuse and slaughter is the consumer. It's supply and demand; the consumer makes the choice to buy animal products and hands over their money to the corporations, keeping them in business and the killing continues. We do not condemn or demonize the consumers, the slaughterhouse workers or food corporations for their actions, they are just part of a system, but a system which is founded upon pain, suffering and unnecessary mass slaughter and the root of that system the consumer and their financial support. What I'm trying to say is that how on earth does social evolution occur if we as individuals not tackle the systemic issues ourselves? If no one spoke out for black people during times when white people enslaved them then how would we have ever stopped owning other humans? If no one had spoken out against smoking when its damaging effects were discovered then millions more people would be dying? If Gandhi had never spoken out against oppression and violence then India would never have evolved as its own independent nation and began to overcome their caste system. If no one "cared" about social issues we would have never evolved out of stage red! Even Sadhguru, Mooji, Rupert Spira and Eckhart Tolle all clearly care deeply about social issues and have devoted their entire lives to educating green/yellow psychology. A common theme is compassion for all regardless of their species, race or character. Sadhguru himself (who is clearly deeply turquoise) owns like a dozen high-consciousness businesses, do you think he would have established them and still be creating traditional yoga schools around the world if he just thought "Oh society is progressing at the rate it should be, it's perfect as it is!" and sat back and did nothing? I understand that these issues are clearly the Lesser Jihad and our priority should be inner growth, but I don't see why the two must be exclusive? If anything Leo himself has clearly stated that a high consciousness life purpose will only contribute to inner growth (the greater jihad). What's even more confusing is that Leo then goes on to say about how people have different levels of education, and implies that Green needs to stop demonizing other stages in order to relate to them and educate them. Which surely is "Caring about social issues"? He then even says that Yellow brings about an understanding of evil and you cannot fight evil with evil, only with "love and compassion" which is the thing he said minutes before as being unable to solve all our problems. To me it seems like evil/selfishness is the only real problem in the world and therefore love and compassion in some form or another IS the only thing that can solve all problems? Albeit in a systemic manner. I can only assume that many of the things Leo said here were badly phrased and I hope he can clarify that for me, it's unlike him to be so contradictory. Hope you're reading Leo and please let me know your thoughts. Much love Alexandar

A terrorists/nazis/rapists can transform before their death. Many among us may not have enough energy for any transformation, we continuously drain our energy in doing unnecessary things, thinking unnecessarily. Jesus said,"“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword." ◄ Matthew 10:34 ► Don't think that if you are peaceful, you are a sage. An almost dead person is peaceful, but that is not worth anything; then even war is better because in war you are alive and vital. A totally different dimension of peace exists when you are vital, alive, but centered in your being, you are awakened. When you know that you are not going to hell, and even if you are thrown in hell, even if you are crucified, it will not disturb your peace and blissfulness.

I'm going to start being a whole lot more grateful for just how much I've accomplished on this path. I am amazing. I have literally overcome the need for food, something few human beings on Earth have done. I am fit and healthy, and am intending to start meditating 12 hours daily (because I don't need sleep and I want to see myself as God) which is like superhuman. Yet I sit down and don't give myself praise when I am doing the best I can to find endless happiness. My goal too, is basically the hardest thing for a human to realise. I deserve more love, not less. I just feel with the meditation, so much love will flow through me that all if this will not be in doubt. Everything is perfect, and so am I, and all of humanity. We are already those Gods we wish to transform into. There is no transformation to do, no heaven to ascend into either, heaven is already on Earth, and in our hearts. It all depends in what we focus on; love or separation?

I think you might be overemphasizing ideology. You seem to be talking about what you believe and what you value, instead ask yourself what you actually do. Are you yourself very disciplined and traditional? Are you competing and taking part in the free market? Are you full of love and peace? There is a difference between what you believe and what you actually are. Spiral Dynamics is a model for consciousness development, not mere ideology and belief. This development is actually happening unconsciously in most people. They are not aware of the fact that they are going through a transformation of consciousness, of their actual subjective reality. Most people know something is changing in them, but they do not really reflect deeply upon it. The reason why each stage in spiral dynamics has it's own flaws is precisely because in each new stage one has to learn once more where the limits of that particular stage are. For example, once you are out of blue, you clearly know why blue is so limited, that reaction is what is stage orange. Because you are progressing through these stages unconsciously, you are not even aware that orange exists, or that you are at a new stage. You simply evolve and demonize what you left behind, because you clearly can see where the limits are. The spiral dynamics model simply describes how these reactions in general develop. It's not that spiral dynamics is a model for the consciousness development of all human beings, it is a model for the general consciousness development of humans. It's more of an average of how things tend to go, not an absolute pathway every human takes. Additionally, because it is an average, it might not even the case that most people go through the stages as the spiral dynamics model shows. Like if you create an average face out of every face on the planet, you will have the perfect average, but that does not mean that most people look like that average face. https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-3cd3902a15d02b68538bced988da2f53-c Most people don't look like that, but it's still the average. Stage yellow for example is defined as a stage when a human being becomes conscious of the fact that he went through stages in life, that is why in stage yellow you understand the fact that you went through the spiral. You are conscious of the fact that you changed your perspective multiple times, and more importantly how helpless you actually were. You were never in control of your consciousness, and now that you are aware of that fact, you can actually take control of your perspective. What is interesting of course is how the spiral dynamics model itself can influence the development of the human consciousness. The empirical data used for spiral dynamics was data used before the spiral dynamics model existed, so we have no clear data on how the development is influenced by it (at least I'm not aware of any data regarding that). It might be that if spiral dynamics becomes part of mainstream ideology, the way people progress through the spiral might change dramatically as well. Who knows, it's like the collective is evolving self-awareness. And just like with the individual, a bit of yellow can already make a dramatic difference. So it is possible that as a certain critical mass of yellow is reached, it might heave the entire civilization into yellow much more rapidly than we would have assumed.

In this essay, I will try my best to use the language of logic to indicate the significance of the illogical for those who are too attached to logic, yet I will also argue against the illogical for those who are too attached to the dimension of the heart. Then, I'm trying to create a holistic perspective in which both are integrated, but neither one of them has become an attachment. This will have its limitations, because the first "illogicality" I was talking about was in a certain sense still logical. That illogicality can still be logically pointed out why it is functional. So there's a certain rationality towards that dimension of being irrational. However, there is a certain point where no matter how strong your logic is, a leap will have to be taken into trust. Trust, genuine trust (not faith or belief), requires you to take a jump into the absurd, the unexplainable, the unknowable: not having the capacity to be understood by the mind. This I call the truest form of absurdity, of illogicality. It's difficult to argue why this has so much significance to take this jump; you will have to experience it, that's the only way. However, there are still some pointers I can provide, some perspectives that can be utilized. But obviously, only the direct experience can free you and truly make you understand it, and not a intellectual agreement of it, though this can be the first step. Firstly, let's discuss the matter of why atheism/rationalism, and its loyal brother called "science", is an act of limiting yourself and ultimately an ego strategy for keeping you stuck. Often times, people ask for "evidence" when a certain statement is made within the realm of religiousity or spirituality, or even just general self-development. The problem is, that such a thing cannot be proven as an absolute truth by its very nature, because everybody is different. Science is good for the development of new technologies and the discoveries of universal truths, such as the realm of physics and mathemathics. However, as far as the matter of humanity is concerned, things really start becoming much more complex. The realm of spirituality, religion and even psychology are cluttered with paradoxes and opposites. What is poison for one person, can be the cure for the other one. It all depends on the makeup of someone's system: one's heart, one's beliefs, one's conditioning, one's personality and so forth... For this reason, how can science and psychology provide any evidence for a technique that would work for all? Impossible! We are all unique individuals, and there is no absolute truth that works for everyone all the time. At least, as far as the conventional perspective is concerned. From the perspective of the absolute, of the all, then perhaps there are truths that work for everyone. Let me give you an example. Take the statement: Love frees you from suffering. Is this true? I would definitely say so. However, what happens when people start taking this statement very seriously? Then people start to act loving, to pretend they are loving, to believe they are loving, when in reality they carry a lot of judgement, resentment, hatred and so forth within them. In reality, the action that is required for them could be to become very assertive, dismiss people out of their lives, start saying "NO!", become angry at someone and defend themselves from hurt that others can inflict upon them. It's not to say that THAT is the absolute truth either for happiness and peace, but it is the relative truth that at that moment works for them, because that is a part they need to develop at that point. True love is only possible when you know how to defend and assert yourself. True love also doesn't mean to always be soft, kind and gentle towards people. Sometimes it is necessary to be harsh and to deliver uncomfortable truths to people directly. Again, relative truths that they need to embody at that stage of their development. Do you see the limitations of science here in the fields of psychological development? Humans are incredibly complex, and a particular advice can be poison for one person and medicine for the other. It all depends what part of them they need to develop at that particular stage in their evolution. Sometimes masculine values have to practiced, and sometimes feminine values. What I just argued for wasn't necessarily against atheistic viewpoints so much; It didn't do much to disprove the notion of a purely materialistic and accidental reality, as atheists believe, but my feeling is that many rationalists turn towards science to explain for them how to live, and my argumentation was to support the dismissal of this notion. Then, if we understand the complexity of our psychology, and we realize that there are no absolute truths and therefore techniques or methods we can eternally hold onto, we may start to realize that our intellectual systems will eventually be limiting towards progressing further in our evolution. Then, we may start looking for a different center from which to make decisions from. This is where the heart comes into play: The world of feelings and emotions. However, what usually (if not always) happens is that instead of understanding that an integration between heart and mind needs to take place, which allows the intuition of the soul to truly open up, we start instead becoming identified with our feelings and we dismiss the cold rationality of the mind. It's not that the mind now has completely disappeared, but that it now utilizes the heart for its beliefs and decisions. It's not that at this point that the identification with the mind has been transcended, but that the mind now simply doesn't purely function from itself only. Feelings now have a great significance, and certainly they do have a great existential importance, but the irony is that the mind starts dismissing its own analytical processes; at least on the surface level. In reality, the mind is still running the entire business, but the underlying belief one is now attached to is: "I should go by what feels right". One does now realize the importance of connection, love, communion, empathy and so forth, but fails to understand that the mind has to be used in this physical reality. Mind has its purpose, and needs to be used consciously, instead of being dismissed. If we fail to integrate our heart and mind, we then start becoming too "weak". We become too floaty, too undriven, too undisciplined. We start dismissing rational, logical decisions which would've helped us further or prevented us from getting in trouble because "It doesn't feel right" Ultimately, this will backfire on us. This is the hypocrisy that —often cold-hearted— rational people such as atheists can see in people who are too identified with their emotions and feelings, as we are experts in pointing out the flaws of our polar opposites, but fail to see the dysfunctionality within ourselves. So naturally, scientists, atheists, rationalists, and all the types of people who are functioning almost purely from their mind and logical systems, feel a great resistance towards the people who get so caught up in their emotions and feelings, as they can see that they get nothing done, that they lack a "down-to-earth" approach, that they are too much floating around in the skies, that they lack self-control and discipline. And certainly, there is a certain truth to this. However, if we dismiss our subjective reality entirely, then we set ourselves up for a great amount of suffering. Then we keep in our emotions, then we start to feel disconnected from existence and other human beings, then we repress our desires if they don't correlate to our rationalist perspective, then we start becoming overwhelmed by stress and anxiety... You may become very succesful in the material world, but you'll realize it's all hollow and you're still the same unhappy person as you were before. In fact, you are unhappier now because you now got what you thought you needed to be happy, but you're still not happy. Now, hope also starts slipping out of your hands. The only way out of this is to start realizing the significance of your subjective reality; You start honouring your feelings, your emotions. You allow yourself to cry or to express joy and laughter in a very frivolous, free-flowing manner. This can be a great relief to your system, and you start to realize the significance of feelings and emotions. However, as I have already explained, the mind tends to swing to the polar opposite. At first we may have honored our rationalism to a great degree, but as we started seeing the pain of our lack of emotional awareness, we now tend to become very antagonistic towards what we first considered to be so valuable. Somehow, we often start to forget all the hypocrisy we saw in people who became very identified with their emotions and feelings. I have already explained what this can result in. Let's get into the next phase. There comes a point when we start once again see the limitations of this identification with all these feelings and the dismissal of the mind, as we were able to when we were still rationalists. However, if we've lived through this phase of feeling-identification, we now start to realize that both heart and mind has a certain significance. This is the door to wisdom. We start to understand that both the language of the heart and the mind has a certain significance. What we don't immediately understand however, is how to proprely integrate both of them. We now start to try to philosophize and figure out logical systems in which we can somehow apply a technique, a strategy, a method as on how to integrate them. We think and think, and the more we go into the many perspectives on what ground or logic we can make our decisions on, the more we start to realize that there is always an opposite perspective to whatever standpoint we take. We use logic —the mind— to try and integrate mind and heart, but again and again we fail to truly understand how to find this balance, because if we really go deeply into it, we always realize that an opposing argument is just around the corner for whatever standpoint we try to take. This can lead to greats amount of confusion, because we don't know what is left and right anymore, what's up and above, what will help us and what will hinder us, what is forward and what is backward... Life can start becoming really difficult and, as was my personal experience, you can come to a point where you become so confused that it paralyzes you to the point where all you do is lay in bed all day, just thinking —even though you're physically perfectly health— and the confusion and thoughts become so crippling that you lose the motivation to do anything at all, except for perhaps supplying the needs for your physical survival. This is the dark night of doubt and confusion, which I personally probably went into more extremely than 99% of people ever will, granted people will reach this stage in their life in the first place. It got me to the point where I started considering and attempting suicide. And it was not merely because I wanted the pain to stop (as I was very open to the idea of reincarnation, this seemed rather futile anyways), but because all other ideas had failed for me, I now had the idea that perhaps if I push the pain to so far that it reaches a certain limit, then perhaps it will somehow instantly transform me, or at least reverse the direction that my life seemed to be heading in. I'm talking about the pain you experience when you're on the edge of death, but haven't made the last step into it yet. So it wasn't really about actually ending it, but pushing the pain to such an extreme so that perhaps something would crack in me and I would have some sort of transformation. It was a last-resort solution, no other idea seemed to work for me anymore. Eventually, I started to realize that this wasn't going to work out for me either. Either it was going to be actual suicide, or a complete change in attitude. Even though I had very strong doubts and fears that it would actually work, there was just one thing I could think of. And that was this: I simply had to make decisions, not knowing whether they were right or wrong, not knowing whether they were helpful or hindering, not knowing whether it was going to make things better or worse, but making decisions for the sake of learning to make decisions, and committing to them (for that moment), as much as I can. It was completely stepping into the complete unknown, having all my intuitive capacities of feeling what I should be doing overshadowed by doubts and fears, and despite all of that still making decisions, and somehow, for no logical explanation at all, still trusting myself and existence in spite of all the worries, that I was heading in the right direction. This is the trust I want to talk about. This is the trust I can not —despite all my clever philosophical capacities— make an argument for as to why to go with it. Except for that it works. Where one who is identified with feelings only may call his/her decisions based on trust, it is still based on faith and identifying with a mental position, namely: "I should go with what feels right". It seems like you're trying to go with your intuition, but in fact, you're not. You're going with a mental position, where your heart simply facilitates your head. Or perhaps I should say: you're going with feeling-intuition, but not with being-intuition. Being-intuition seems in some ways similair to feeling-intiution, but in fact it is radically different. This is the type of intuition that I can not explain or argue in favour for to any rationalist. With feeling-intuition, I can still show the rationalist the significance of feelings and emotional expression as to unburden himself. With being-intuition, my hands are tied. It is a mystery as to what it is. Sometimes it tells you to go with "what feels right", thus implying heart. Sometimes it tells you to go with "what needs to be done", thus implying mind. And sometimes it is somewhere in between. But of course, it doesn't take up a mental position. It simply decides. And you trust it. How can you trust it? How do you know it won't deceive you? Well, there's no way to argue it away, but you simply trust it. It is letting the unknown function through you, and the only indication that this is the right thing to do is the sense of tranquility and peace you get from going along with it, which doesn't mean it stays away from discipline and things you really don't feel like doing. Often times, I don't really even know if I'm listening to my being-intuition or if i'm getting identified with either a mental or emotional (feeling-intuition) position. I'm not so acquianted with it just yet. I've only started to become somewhat acquainted with turquoise for less than a year now [reference to spiral dynamics model]. To differentiate being-intuition from and identification with an idea or feeling is very difficult to notice, very subtle. Most characteristic about it, I would say, is that the element of confusion or hesitation has started disappearing from it. Not that you know for sure this is the right decision, at least intellectually, but there's is no need to be sure anymore. You start to understand that the problem all along was not the decisions you were making, but the division within yourself you were creating when you were making your decisions. One part of you said you should do A, another part said you should do B. Perhaps you were identified with the position of A, but still your unconscious desired for B (or vica versa), so you were in conflict. Perhaps you were genuine enough to see both the validity of A and B, but were unsure as to what to choose, thus still in conflict. Now, with this being-intuition, the decision you make is not important anymore. You can choose A, and that's fine. You can choose B, and that's fine. Perhaps you can even choose AB, and that's also fine. Or perhaps today you choose A, and tomorrow you choose B, and eitherway it is still fine. Now, you start to become truly flexible: being able to switch between a feminine, passive modality to a masculine, active modality very quickly, for whatever the situation requires. You realize that none of this really matters, as long as there is not conflict within you making decisions. Finally, you really start to realize there's no need to worry at all, because you've come to the absolute realization of your own ignorance, so why be worried? You don't know anyways. You can't know! All this worry and striving and contemplating and pondering and disciplining and attempting to accept, trying to not try... All of that was just a complete joke! And you don't even renounce striving, or contemplating or anything like that. If it's a joke, then why avoid it? Jokes are to be played around with. If you start fighting with a joke, it won't be a joke anymore. In realizing all of this, true spirituality and peace starts to become available to you. Finally, you're approaching the promised land, which in reality was never anywhere else but here to begin with. But... Don't take what I say as a philosophy. You have to apply the specific lessons that are relevant for you right now. Your situation is different than mine. Be genuine with yourself, and see what the specific lesson is that you need to learn right now. Don't try to avoid it, even if it is very painful. The only way to peace is to go through the pain of facing yourself, facing your demons. There is no other way. Avoidance is simply delay. What's the point in delay?

A Week or two of Deep Inner Transformation I have enjoyed fasting, and meditation so much that I want to dedicate at least a week to these practices, perhaps longer. During this time I'll be off the internet, and enjoying the smaller things in life. I plan on spending most of my time for the next few months in meditation to reach enlightenment, so I wanted to start off with a strong start. This is again a natural thing for me to do, not forced, it was always destined to be. This is a culmination of everything I've learnt, coming into being. After this retreat anything is possible. I may finish this week realising that I am one with God, or come out as a true Breatharian. For certain, the practice of focusing on my heart will become a habit in my subconscious mind, which means all of these gifts I mentioned and more will come. When you are heart-centred, sooner or later the never ending bliss that we already are will dawn upon us, it is a win-win on all levels. Energetically one who sits and meditates upon their heart is raising the vibration of an entire planet for the liberation of all unawakened souls to see how brightly they already shine. It is so with my deepest love for humanity and for myself that I embark upon this adventure on a deeper level than I have before, and see just what there is to find. I will keep meditating until I know myself as oneness, and have fully embodied my higher self, which may take a few months. I'm ready for this adventure. See you on the flip side everyone, and have a lovely week

@okulele Hey mate, I actually quit my degree literally 2 weeks ago for the same reason as you. I dropped out after 2 years (half way) and will not be going back. In my experience, if you train with an ashram, the transformation that you will go through will be so revelatory that whatever you choose to do when you come back into society will be of value, no matter what it is. The vision you will develop will be of a level that will allow you to make money and survive. I have personally trained with a shaman for the last 3 months doing a vision quest, and that experience is what has allowed me to support myself after quitting university. No I didn't get any qualifications, networks, western type of skills, but a vision that has shown me the light to how to survive without getting the status and social rights of the herd. Meditation and any sort of personal alchemy will permeate through you so strongly that it will continue your survival.

Each perspective has its own, distinct substance that is being changed: Substance of the world is matter Substance of the mind is facts Substance of the body is health Names of the respective substances are arbitrary, but are pointers to something that is static. Substance of each respective perspective is something that is accumulated and changed. In each perspective, a change is constantly occurring with respect to its own substance. The substance of each of these perspective is changed back into itself. Category theory calls this kind of transformation identity, but this name is reserved within this framework to avoid confusion. The names of transformations within their respective domains are following: Transformation within the mind that changes facts into other facts is called thought Transformation within the world that changes matter into different matter is called action Transformation within the body that changes health back to itself is called feeling.

. As you grow older it becomes more and more difficult to unlearn, what you have learned from the society. An older man becomes rigid, resists any change. Youth is the best time for inner transformation because youth is the most flexible time. If you miss your youth, it will be more and more difficult later on. Not that it is impossible , it can happen even when you are old , but it will take more arduous effort and things will not be so easy.

The question for the forum is - what is needed for a change? And is it ready for a change? Can we do a little thought experiment here? Imagine - you have been working way too much and your body starts to tell you this, e.g. you have a stroke, get a burn-out or you get diagnosed with cancer. Really dive into how this would feel and once it feels real - I bet you, you are "crashing" and are ready for the next transformation! But it really has to feel real... it might take a bit longer contemplation. All of a sudden there will be more empathy for others and relationships and bonding will be more important than earning millions of $$.

"The Individualist – Pluralist Stage 4/5 describes what a person can “see” with a fourth person perspective. People now realize that things are not necessarily what they seemed at earlier stages because the interpretation of reality always depends on the position of the observer. Thus the idea of myself as a participant observer as well as having multiple perspectives becomes fascinating to explore. Once we realize that as observers we inevitably influence what we observe, pure, detached, that is, “objective” judgment becomes impossible. This individual discovery is supported by more recent challenges to the rational/scientific assumptions of the Newtonian world view in both the subatomic and the astrophysical sciences. We cannot help but filter our observations through our personal and subjective lenses. Simultaneously, once we also allow for the validity of others’ personal views and perspectives, we can no longer disregard the enormous diversity of people and their beliefs, values and preferences. They are all seem equally valid and worthy of consideration. Cognition: recognition of multiple perspectives, beginning awareness of the complexity of systems and cultural conditioning Relativism: discovery of non-objectivity as participant-observer, and of the potential for defensive self-deception Positive expression: vivid individualism. Focus on and relishing experience in the present, listen to every voice, honor all ideas equally Truth: can never be found; everything is relative; there is no place to evaluate anything with certainty (postmodernism). Fear of being sucked back into the conventional mindset and constrained by its demands. The 4th person perspective represents the next differentiation stage in the sequence of the stage by stage differentiation-integration pattern. It is considered a major watershed in EDT (Ego Development Theory) as it signifies the move from conventional to postconventional meaning making. Several of the other developmental theories consider the next, the Strategist stage, as a more crucial transformation. From a meaning making point of view, what is deemed most important is simply a matter of emphasis and choice. Overall, each new stage represents a new reality for the subject, a new way of identifying as a self and of understanding und relating to the world. The 4th person perspective allows individuals to stand outside the system they grew up in andobserve themselves and their cultural surround from a new altitude. From there one gets a better view of the whole valley or plane below. One can look at the familiar (status quo) through a new lens and query many of its tacit assumptions, values, and beliefs. The 4th person perspective allows individuals to focus on epistemology, that is, to examine how they came to believe what they believe and feel and how one knows and proves things. The transition to the first postconventional stage is a watershed in so far as it is the first time that the vertical move and the questioning of previously unexamined ideas is no longer supported by society and its chief conventional representatives. Postconventional thinking and questioning assumptions may be taught and encouraged in college courses, but then challenged and or dismissed at work and at home. At this stage of differentiation, individuals realize that all groups and societies see it as their mandate to mold the minds and hearts of their members. What’s novel is that they can now perceive how much their values and worldviews have been influenced by the environments into which they were born, in which they were raised, and in which they currently operate. Who we think we are depends on the historical context, geographic place, economic circumstances, education, the overall structure of the society, and many other factors that are part of shaping us. We have far less control over being “molded” than we previously understood. Socialization, it turns out, is relentless and ongoing from the day we enter the world. It begins with the earliest inculcation of what are considered desirable thoughts, feelings, values, and behavior and what is not. It continues through schooling and is reinforced at every moment via the media, commerce, and, most subtly, by the very nature of one’s native language and communication patterns. While the discursive habit is essential for learning and vertical development, it also poses an invisible danger by its deep and unconscious place in most people’s consciousness. For many the recognition that one’s own view of life is not the only possible one happens when traveling abroad and encountering other peoples and languages. Nowadays, access via television and internet to different ways of life and other mores can open ordinary people’s eyes to diverse perspectives even in the remotest corners of the world. This is in striking contrast to earlier historical periods when only adventurers dared to hazard abroad and often never came back to tell their stories while most ordinary denizens had no access to knowledge beyond their immediate local communities. Today’s ubiquity and profusion of information, however, cuts both ways. English as the dominant language of international exchange also acts as powerful indoctrination into Western definitions of what adults should strive for, what personal attributes will favor success in the world, in short what it means to live the good life. With the turn away from the achievement-orientation and the external world towards inner experience -- Individualists and Pluralists alike discover how subjective one’s perspective is and how much of what seemed objective is in the eye of the beholder. The move from being unconsciously embedded in a cultural surround to having a perspective on it can be both liberating and confusing. Liberating because now I am even more able to explore and recognize my own unique way of being a human being with new choices and more capacity to understand many fascinating aspects of the world. Confusing because now there are unlimited ways of perceiving the world without any one view better than another. The same object/event can have different meanings for different observers, for the same observer in different contexts or at different times. Stage 4/5 persons become interested in watching themselves trying to make sense of themselves. This constitutes an important change in thought mode. Individualists-Pluralists abandon purely rational analysis in favor of a more holistic, organismic approach in which feelings, body sensations and context are taken into account. The 4th person perspectives allows people to move from merely logical thinking to a more subtle, psycho-logical approach. The need to reason and to explain everything by rational means lessens. Experience itself becomes the new attraction. Thus the process (or journey) of discovery is now as more intriguing than reaching a goal or creating a product. Individualists and Pluralists tend to distrust conventional wisdom and the hyper-rational tenets of the Conscientious stage. At least initially, they may reject the Achiever mindset wholesale. They may try to distance themselves from all that went before and reject the strive-drive values of the prior stage. This demands that they reevaluate the soundness of the prefixed role identities that society offers and sanctions. One must redefine themselves uniquely and independently of these givens based on their own experience, values, and conclusions. When one fully realizes that most prior meaning making was socially and culturallyconditioned, scientific certainty and the judgmental frame of mind break down. Moreover, Individualists can learn to consciously scrutinize their beliefs in order to test their assumptions or to relish the novel mental freedom such a maneuver opens up. A big discovery for this stage is the relativity of points of view. When people first become aware of this, they may see everything as relative and reject any prior certainties including scientific knowledge as absolute and therefore “false.” It takes experience at this stage to realize that successful living likely requires some of the earlier values. Most individuals need to make a living to survive. Sticking with a job one may not totally like and getting along with others who do not appreciate constant questioning is thus a requirement for most adults no matter how creative and postconventional one may be. As Stage 4/5 individuals explore their feelings and motivations, they can also begin to become aware of how easily we can fool ourselves. The possibility of defensive self-deception and culturally-biased distortion are now starting to be experienced as ever-present dangers. Given the increasing awareness of one’s own vulnerabilities, persons at the 4th person perspective can exhibit a new, non-hostile type of humor that is directed towards the self. It is based on an the beginning sense of the futility of framing things in terms of right and wrong, provable or disprovable. It also recognizes how easily we can fool ourselves about our motives and intentions. Cognition: With the 4th person perspective, individuals realize that things are rarely what they seem. Rather than problems to solve, one must figure out what to define as “the” problem (a double loop move). Many things that appear as problems can now be seen as polarities to be managed since most values come in pairs. Thus, In the positive, liberated version of this stage, individuals may enjoy paradoxes and contradictions and no longer try to explain them away. “To heck with it! Everything is relative.” Linear, intellectual logic gives way to a more holistic understanding of things. It is not always necessary to prove everything in order to embrace it. There is a perception that sudden insights and breakthroughs are possible. Playful exploration and imagination are set free. Life is fresh and enticing. Rather than trying isolate aspects of experience into different to categories and analyze them separately as independent variables, Stage 4/5 individuals are looking for connections and subtler clues to what is going on. Useful information can come from many sources that were previously considered outside the realm of scientific inquiry and viewed with skepticism, such as body sensations, intuition, dreams, reflection, and meditation. Therefore, the shift from conventional to postconventional stages also reflects a qualitative shift from a more linear, rational, intellectual to a more organismic and embodied awareness. In addition, this new way of perceiving can foster the realization that the whole (the Gestalt) is more than its separate parts. Therefore attempting to see the whole picture with its parts rather than merely parts and the details becomes an ever more important consideration with further vertical development. Individualist expression of the 4th person perspective: Rather than trying to analyze everything, Individualists want to enjoy their own subjective experience. What can be trusted is one’s personal experience, sensations, thoughts and feelings in the here and now. Thus, there is a major shift from the Conscientious person’s preference for “doing” to focusing on “being and feeling.” Instead of marching into the future, Individualists become now-oriented. They begin to notice how feelings are diffused throughout the body. They can come to realize how feelings, thoughts and body sensations affect each other. There is a new sense of body/mind connection and a beginning understanding of the interwoven, systemic nature of experience. Individualists often replace the focus on causality (past) and goals (future) of the Conscientious person with a fascination with the immediate present. They need to understand and watch how things unfold. Their attention turns from outcomes and deliverables to an interest in the processes, the relationships and the complex, non-linear influences among variables. Individualists watch how they themselves and other people change and behave differently in different contexts. They have an existential appreciation for how each moment differs from the next. Therefore the present is newly infused with salience and poignancy. Individualists often express hope and enthusiasm for their lives and their unique experience that others find inspiring. At the same time, they may be so idealistic and enamored with their discoveries, they ignore potential difficulties or downsides. In that case, others may find them too unrealistic, “too intense,” or simply “too much.” Individualists are often concerned with making a unique and personal contribution to the world independent of any socially approved roles or tasks. But part of the work as a postconventional adult is to discover what that unique purpose may be. They can therefore become enthralled with watching themselves trying to make sense of themselves. They often withdraw from external affairs and company life, or from ordinary daily routines. Instead, they turn inward in search of their unique gifts or answers to their own burning questions. If they are given room to be themselves and time to experiment freely, they can provide valuable input to the work-place. They find novel ways of looking at problems, or inspire others with their enthusiasm in pursuing their own interests and questions. If working independently, they are likely to fashion schedules and work contexts to optimize their flourishing. Sometimes, they are content to simply live day by day following “their own drummer.” Today’s hippy culture still embodies some of that sense of freedom and self-expression in the company of like-minded others symptomatic of the Individualist mindset. We have found in our data that Individualists may or may not have a communal bend. Some folks turn towards away from society and focus on their own meaning making. They explore their own minds and hearts and are less preoccupied with issues of equality and making sure that all voices are being heard. While they would not discourage such endeavors for those who are into this, it is not where their own interests and energies reside. Unlike Experts, they do appreciate that others have their own unique ways of doing things and being themselves. They recognize that different people have different needs and preferences. That includes their personal need for now exploring their interiors. They are therefore less apt to judge others. Indeed they may at times appear almost “amoral” in their demand to be who they are and do what they want. In the extreme, when Individualists overfocus on their inner world and the experience of having multiple – often seemingly incompatible -- selves they may express frustration with development and ever expanding self-knowledge. The more one explores, the more confused one may get. When the overriding feeling becomes “everything is relative,” and “there is nothing to hold on to,” cynicism and nihilism can become a way to defend against the feeling of being adrift on a vast unknown sea unmoored and rudderless. Identity: While some people at Stage 4/5 relish inconsistencies as proof of the illogical nature of conventional beliefs, others at this stage may become confused by observing the many contradictions. They often describe themselves as having subpersonalities, many voices, or as an “inner tribe.” These voices cannot be readily synthesized into a coherent self-identity. “Sometimes I act, feel and think one way, other times in another depending on all sorts of conditions: my mood, how well I have slept, what context I was in. There is a struggle within myself, different voices competing for attention. And all seem real and important parts of me. Who am I? What is going on? How can anyone tell with certainty who they really are as they are changing and growing?” Thus, the prevalent anxiety of Stage 4/5 is around integrating different parts of oneself. “I can be both my old rational self, and a new, different kind of person; I am afraid I have multiple personalities. I feel confused, split, ambivalent.” Instead of the imagined greater integration and harmony, the 4th person perspective and experience may feel like a cacophony rather than a symphony. Depression at this level has several facets: a) The realistic fear of being reabsorbed, that is sucked back into the “rat race” of the Achiever mindset by the demands of society; b) The dread of a routine work life that does rarely allows for individual self-expression and creativity; c) The concern that one will never find a clear self-definition from which to consistently operate and generate a coherent self sense; d) The deep experience of worry and tensions that come from growing beyond the conventional mindset especially when it comes to intimate relationships. The experience of looking at the world with different eyes than those that used to be one’s closest allies, such as a spouse or a long-term friend, can create great distress for both parties. While the conventional partner is confused about the new way of behaving of the person with the 4th person perspective, those who are postconventional feel misunderstood and un appreciated for what they now feel they have to offer. The latter also often wish for the significant other to become more like themselves. This, in turn, can make the person “left behind” feel disrespected and misunderstood. In this sense, the move of one partner from conventional to postconventional meaning making poses a particular challenge to couples and long-term relationships. Unlike later stages, early postconventional individuals cannot yet fully appreciate the gifts of the earlier levels. They genuinely feel that if only others -- including their loved ones -- would become more like themselves, then everybody would be happier and the whole world would be better place. Pluralist expression of 4th person perspective Pluralists, on the other hand, tend to focus on the multiplicity of voices and contexts. Aware of their own views as interpretations, they do not want to impose these on others. They seek instead to respect and understand all positions. Individual differences are celebrated and paid attention to in a way that Achievers cannot yet appreciate. The very differences become the center of attention now rather than being bracketed out in order to “manage” the differences in order to reach an agreed upon goal. When a group of mostly Pluralists get together, they often make room for everybody to express their positions and opinions as each person’s view is considered equally genuine and valid from their own point of view as well as a crucial aspect of the overall diversity in the room. The tendency, to treat every opinion with the same regard can be driven to an extreme. In societies, organizations or teams where everybody’s voice is given equal opportunity for expression, meetings can run on forever and little gets resolved or accomplished. The over-focus on fairness and voice, can lead to “decision paralysis” as no one dares to take a lead role, assert a position, or make an executive decision for fear to be seen as unilateral, uncooperative, or oppressive. Indeed, it is one of the more problematic attributes of many proponents of radical pluralism that they judge all hierarchies as oppressive. They cannot recognize that decision paralysis is its own form of oppression and constraint. On the positive side, especially those individuals who were or felt marginalized in the past may feel acknowledged and heard for the first time. Above all, an awareness of human diversity and multiple perspectives is the powerful and progressive contribution that this stage has brought to human affairs. Moreover, the egalitarian emphasis of the Pluralist worldview is an important step towards further differentiation and integration Although it is difficult for Stage 3/4 and Stage 4 people to tolerate committed Pluralists with their egalitarian fervor, Pluralists have prepared the way for an even deeper appreciation and tolerance of difference, one that allows for making qualitative distinctions as well as for cherishing human diversity. This more discerning and flexible view becomes possible at the next, the Strategist stage. To differentiate this capacity from the Pluralist perspective, an individual at the next level can prioritize among voices because they recognize that some views are based on better evidence and take more aspects of a situation into account. When Loevinger created her original theory in the sixties and seventies, a focus on diversity and equality of perspectives was at the forefront of social thought. People who dedicated themselves to bringing diversity issues into the public discourse were therefore deemed postconventional. In the meantime, diversity and equality concerns are mentioned at all levels of development because they have become anchored in the law. Therefore mere mentioning of diversity and gender equality no longer indicates postconventional development. Especially when Achievers and Experts execute diversity trainings, even with the best of intentions, they may focus so much on the differences to be valued that the bonds of our common humanity can get overlooked in the process. A special case of pluralism is the academic discipline of deconstructive postmodernism. It beliefs that it is impossible to defend any belief by proclaiming that all views are subjective and therefore legitimate since everything is relative. When relativism is carried to its logical extreme no view or interpretation is better than any other. All are equal. Postmodernists believe that any metanarrative succumbs to the same subjective arbitrariness. They deny the legitimacy of all hierarchies and all hierarchical ordering. When Pluralists adopt this belief, they may be hypersensitive to perceived instances of judgment as “better” or “valuable” in human terms. According to Wilber, radical postmodernism leads to what he calls “Boomeritis (2003).” In the extreme case, postmodernists assert with absolute certainty that there is no position from which to judge anything. They do not yet recognize the inherent self-contradiction in their assertion. It is, of course, a form of judgment and hierarchical ordering of values as those who disagree clearly have a less evolved view from theirs. Social: The very heightened capacity to contact the self and to introspect leads to a greater capacity to empathize with others and to tolerate different ideas, behaviors and reactions. Stage 4/5 individuals are often admired by others, especially by other postconventional persons, for their unconcerned, energetic self-expression, their spontaneity, and their ability to live a life according to their own unique style free from restrictive conventions. At the same time, they may be feared as unpredictable or dismissed as dreamers and non-doers, especially in an strive-drive Achiever context. Their relationships with others are intense and mutually rewarding when there is synergy and choice. When they have to manage others as part of a job, they can be autocratic or idiosyncratic to such a degree, that others find them “impossible to nail down”, “aloof and unapproachable ” or simply “wishy-washy.” One never knows where one stands with such a leader. Internal dimension: Individuals are deeply concerned with their interiors, with feelings and motiva-tions. They show a beginning awareness of inner conflict and ambivalence as natural aspects of reality and of the potential for defensive self-deception and culturally biased distortion. Cognitive level: Things are not always what they seem. One’s interpretation of the world depends largely on one’s position as an observer. One is always a participant observer. One can never be totally detached or “objective.” The same object has a different meaning for different observers. Individuals abandon purely rational analysis in favor of a more holistic, organismic approach in which multiple perspectives and interpretations as well as the context are taken into account. Mature Individualists- Pluralists can integrate and bridge rational thought with non-linear approaches to getting information. Prevalent anxiety: “I can be both my old rational self, and a new, different kind of person; I am afraid I can’t figure out who I really am. I feel confused, split, ambivalent.” Depressive style: Inner conflict and despair about ever finding one’s true self. Preoccupation: Rather than trying to analyze everything, State 4/5 individuals want to enjoy the subjective experience, their unique way of making sense of things. It is all that can be trusted. They are newly focused with being and feeling rather than with doing and achieving. Instead of marching into the future, individuals become now-oriented as they infuse experience in the present with importance. The past is gone and the future cannot really be known. Meaning making has shifted from an analytical -intellectual to a more organismic, somatic and holistic mode of understanding. Personality types: Individualists often prefer to live at the fringe of society, to live exactly the way they want to be. Admired by postconventional people for their spontaneity and unique self-expression, conventional persons may distrust them for being non-conformist and impossible to understand and predict. Avowed Pluralists can be powerful advocates for tolerance and equality, but also get hung up in endless discussions and overprivileging diversity to the neglect of our common humanity Language clues: The Syntax of the 4th person perspective contains many contingencies, non-banal qualifications, and several contrasting ideas. “Even though, despite, nonetheless, ,” signal beginning greater cognitive complexity and replace “but” and “or.” Individuals can now entertain contradicting ideas and join them by “both/and” and “while.” The writings contain vivid personal information (often punctuated with exclamation marks) and more nuanced psychological vocabulary and comments on their own responses to the MAP. MAP protocols show a distinct emphasis and “need” for unique self-expression, a vivid sense of released energy and individuality. The verbal rejection of gender items and other prompts in sentence completions such as ,“How can I generalize?” or “it all depends” indicate beginning awareness of relativity of point of view and the nature of generalization.

Accept it, become relaxed, that will be the beginning of your transformation. More you are discontented with yourself, more weak you will become. Learn to live in a relaxed way. Walk in relaxed way, eat in a relaxed way, talk in a relaxed way. Learn the knack of meditation.

@Dogsbestfriend but it didn't go away entirely? then it seems to be permanent/persisting as well, doesn't it? the intensity go the change probably depends on lots of things.. mindset, implementation, general 'level' of awareness, trip frequency and intensity, how much we surround ourself with enlightenment work.. on one trip I've actually experienced something like a journey through my own DNA: I was riding on the double helices like on a infinite roller coaster. I witnessed a transformation of my genes; lots of bases were changed I hope you'll experience some long lasting enhancement as well <3 @John Iverson I took about 10-14 trips since march 2017. mostly shrooms and AL-LAD, one time MDMA @Viking wow, that sounds quite intense! and all of that from one trip? beautiful! did you write a trip report? @PsiloPutty yes, definitively! that's beautiful to hear..it's the same for me. butterfly effect, huh? a trip inspired me to become active on this forum, which made me go to a retreat, which again turned my life upside down <3 yoga, books, meditation, this place here...it's all so powerful. but nothing seems to send you straight into oneness like psychedelics it's been therapeutic, life changing and a real quantum leap for me <3

@Dogsbestfriend You're clearly a materialist who has no interest in what science calls paranormal, in fact, it flies right over your head and I wonder why I am wasting time with you, go get drunk. You have decided to treat imagination as just imagination. You can enjoy it for yourself without knowing the flood of memes that is rippling through your nihilism. You will need to go and play more lego for a while, or scalpel some bricks out of a wall. Yes but you always have a desire to see some raw facts right? Because that's what truth is? No. Cause the world needs to prove something to your 'rationalist mind'. Right? You have been persuaded already, thank you for doing it for me, I need shades of stones in my painting. You may be a witness to yourself, because really all I am claiming is that you have a Greater Source beyond you, not that it's not available unless you are great and supernatural. There is no need to develop any kind of paranormal experience or activity to experience the movement of Spirit within you (Knowledge), most people have it already in some form or another. This is what I associate and ascribe to as being thanks to my practice in Steps To Knowledge. It's available for free online at www.stepstoknowledge.com I am not advertising it, I am only trying to share a gift and hoping others learn about it and the Greater Community Spirituality presented in the New Message from God, in order to realise that people's minds need to be trained so that we are no longer bitches to influences that are gross or subtle which we are not even aware of. Us silly beings. Humans, we are great and creative, but we are a bit gullible when we are told we can't do things. But I admit I am still at the beginning of knowing how all this works and have been practicing this for almost four years now, pretty much meditating every moment of the day now. It is just that people are unaware that if someone else were watching their own thoughts in the world and in the environment, that they are actually less in control than they think they are. People are pulled back and forth by the rhythms and movements of life, and they have no control over this until they realise they are a broken record that just needs a good wake up, then they see that spirit is within them. Spirit is dynamic present and interactive, but still, with a kind of pattern and movement to it, a deeper current, but still. It is more of a juice that mediums are infused with in their environment and the whole universe, with currents, and with a grid like order to it, but it never goes anywhere towards anything because it has no beginning or end. This juice is not empty, but instead it permeates reality with a qualitative meaning in the eye of God. It can be transferred to people in a persuasive way that is 'good' and almost telepathic (if spiritual). On top of that only ones who have a deeper connection to Knowledge within themselves will ever have the ability to control and direct their own minds and thoughts. You also must follow a Stronger Mind within you, whether this is given to you by a Teacher through practice perhaps or your own Self through a connection to your Deeper Self. Which in the end is still a higher order identity, not an individuality. Or better, this will be the end of your individuality, and the beginning of your expression. http://www.stepstoknowledge.com/steps/Step12-My-individuality-is-to-express-life-itself.htm Step 12 My individuality is to express life itself. HERE YOUR UNIQUENESS IS A GREAT ASSET and a source of joy, not a source of painful alienation and not a source of painful judgment against yourself or others. This distinction does not elevate you above or place you below anyone else. It merely pinpoints the real purpose behind your individuality and its great promise for the future. You are here to express something. That is the real meaning given to your individuality because you do not want to be separate anymore. ON TWO OCCASIONS TODAY, practice two periods of silence exercising the practice that we have illustrated thus far. Practice 12: Two 15-minute practice periods. https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/volume-5/wisdom-greater-community-volume-2/self-expression-the-mental-environment 'The mental environment is the environment in which you think. The physical environment is the environment in which you act. The physical influences the mental, but the mental influences the physical to a greater degree. Unless the physical environment is directly infringing itself upon you or controlling your actions or behavior, the influence of the mental environment on you is greater and more consistent. Therefore, the greater your awareness and understanding of your own mental condition and how others influence you and how you influence them, the greater the impact you can have intentionally upon the world. Here your mind will become much more concentrated than others, which will give you power, for power is concentration of mind. This concentration can be for good or for ill, but it will exert a greater influence to the degree to which it is concentrated. The person who thinks only of a few things that draw all of his or her emotional intensity will exert a greater influence on the mental environment than someone who casually believes in something or considers something only periodically. The person who has a deep conviction and a deep sense of belief will exert a greater influence than someone who is only entertaining or considering an idea. People with conviction will be able to do far more and will have much greater impact in the world. They will be able to influence other minds. This does not mean that what they believe in or are convinced of is necessarily good, for power is neutral. Power used for good and power used for ill represents concentration of mind. Therefore, for you to have a greater influence upon the world, which is necessary if you wish to make a contribution to the world, you must understand your mental resources and the influences that affect them every day. To give you an example of what this might look like, I will speak of The Greater Community Way of Knowledge here because it emphasizes development in the mental environment to a very large degree. In a Greater Community context, development in the mental environment is essential for success, for in the future you will be dealing with intelligences that are far more concentrated than you are and have a much greater perspective, having lived with a much broader viewpoint and experience. A more concentrated mind will exert a greater influence upon you than you will upon it. In order for you to engage successfully with a Greater Community intelligence, not only to comprehend it but to offset its influence, you must have a much greater concentration of mind. People who undertake the reclamation of Knowledge often find themselves withdrawing from life in certain ways in order to minimize or limit the influences of society upon them. This gives them the freedom to re-evaluate themselves without feeling bombarded by the world’s influences and images. This is why many people who begin to study The Greater Community Way of Knowledge seek escape from television, radio and even music—not because these things are inherently bad but because they are so influential. They withdraw from individuals who influence them in ways that are counterproductive to their well-being and to their ability to refocus their mind. This withdrawal is necessary for people to rethink their thoughts, to have the freedom of evaluation, to gain control of their own mental forces, to deepen their awareness of themselves and to become more sensitive to the things that are influencing them. Now, there are gross influences and there are subtle influences. Initially, in The Greater Community Way of Knowledge people will want to withdraw from the gross influences. This will enable them to develop the sensitivity to comprehend and effectively engage with the subtle influences. Subtle influences include the thoughts of other people who are not in your immediate environment but with whom you are in relationship. Subtle influences include the presence of extraterrestrial life that may be in your vicinity. Perhaps this extraterrestrial presence is not affecting you directly or focusing on you at all, but its presence will exert a certain influence upon you. This influence is subtle, but this does not mean that it has no power or does not affect you. Indeed, many of your depressing moods have nothing to do with you at all. Many of them are the result of you engaging with something in the mental environment that you are not aware of. Often it is something that is not even in your visual range. Here people can go through tremendous mood swings frequently, being affected by things that are not even part of their own lives. In other cases, their own thinking is governing their emotional responses to a very great degree. Yet, often people who are engaged in therapeutic processes make the mistake of thinking that all of their experiences are determined by their own conditioning, their own thinking and their own activities. This false assumption is made because people think they are isolated in life. They are not aware of the mental environment. The mental environment is like living in a sea of consciousness. You are swimming in a great ocean of consciousness. When I say consciousness, it does not mean that it is self-conscious. It simply means that it is actively thinking. Active thinking is not necessarily conscious thinking. The mind is working all the time, whether you are aware of it or not. It is exerting an influence and being influenced all the time, whether you are aware of it or not. Gaining awareness of the mind, controlling its influence on others and controlling what influences it, or at least determining how much this influence can affect you, represents achievement and advancement in education. The result of this will give you greater empowerment, greater certainty and the ability to affect, nurture and support others in ways that are effective and appropriate for them. This is a very great achievement. If you look about in the world, you will see that many people feel that they are the victims of life, that life is controlling them, that they have no power to change it, that it is too big for them. This is so common. You can see it everywhere. You can hear it in so many conversations. It is demonstrated in people’s activities. It is demonstrated in their forms of escape, which are often destructive. It is demonstrated in the ineffectiveness that people feel in meeting real problems in the world. It is omnipresent. Why is this? If your experience of being influenced is greater than your experience of influencing others, clearly you are not aware of the mental environment and do not have an awareness of your own thinking and its impact upon others. Indeed, the prevalent belief that people are governed by circumstances and are totally conditioned by them is reinforced by the people who believe in it, and so this belief becomes stronger and seemingly more impermeable. Thus, unconsciousness fortifies itself. You fortify anything you believe in. You add to it. Anything you value you fortify. If you value truth, you add to truth in the world. If you value the escape from truth, you add to the escape from truth in the world. The mental environment you live in, the human mental environment, is a result of all of this put together.' Here eat shit. Or I could say you are swimming in whale piss and need to realise this, you may be krill. I go through all this training and practice, I try to get to the point where I can see a thought travelling in my body, usually it's something I don't want. If you experience this then come knocking on my door, otherwise just leave some flowers please, or meditate for a few lives, and see that you are not I, nope, you are you, and you have your own stuff to go through. Yes I made a rhyme. But sorry for being low on emotional intelligence that's not my strong point, or social knowledge either, maybe you can help me with this. I need a translation, how does one define something as psychic and paranormal? What is normal? Mate I am really curious! Tell me what is normal! Shit's crazy over here, everything! @Prabhaker Good point. I think then if we internally insight into the other person's personality, we in some way are able to assist them by mirroring a greater reality back to them, like karma, some teachers only. It's illusory, but the mirror becomes a great power, like silver-mercury, without trying to use it, you can see it is still essence as a reflection of a story that is of your own making from some time long ago. It could even be permanent in the end if it's meaning beyond your conscious mind, and exists forever, and you just digest it in your own way by knowing this, because it is ever-lasting and ever-predictable for as long as you are in a physical body and in a universe governed by some patterns. Your consciousness is the mystery of zero and it's malleability. You are penetrating reality with a central point of tendency. There you will find nourishment in more things than you think of. Ask an aghora sadhu. He sees the divine in the profane, and has incredible power as a result of this. He lives in a cemetery or funeral pyre. But he is enlightened. He eats shit. This is similar to the relationship between the brain stem and the direction of the eyes, which are best aligned in my opinion for better energy flow. You can reduce thinking and it is effective, and yet still your connection to thought is never hindered and actually becomes more sensitive the less you think and becomes more and more pure like a drop of water dropping into a still pool of glowing water. There are tricks, for example the tilt of someone's head and what they do with their eyes can tell you a lot about them, and can show the nature of where they are at and whether you will be perceived as agreeable or not depending on what you say or feel even. Eyes can manipulate in incredible ways. Lets not lie. Inside is a current much deeper, much slower and more delicate, and it needs to align through the whole system to operate in full harmony all the time. This would mean that you are in some thought always with it, never losing sight of Knowledge as a one single platform or foundation you stand upon, without losing Knowledge of the dynamicity of life as well (Knowledge is what the tradition I follow calls the deeper intelligence or alive current). @pluto "Here your mind will become much more concentrated than others, which will give you power, for power is concentration of mind. This concentration can be for good or for ill, but it will exert a greater influence to the degree to which it is concentrated. The person who thinks only of a few things that draw all of his or her emotional intensity will exert a greater influence on the mental environment than someone who casually believes in something or considers something only periodically. The person who has a deep conviction and a deep sense of belief will exert a greater influence than someone who is only entertaining or considering an idea. People with conviction will be able to do far more and will have much greater impact in the world. They will be able to influence other minds. This does not mean that what they believe in or are convinced of is necessarily good, for power is neutral. Power used for good and power used for ill represents concentration of mind. Therefore, for you to have a greater influence upon the world, which is necessary if you wish to make a contribution to the world, you must understand your mental resources and the influences that affect them every day." Pluto energy? Energy of no beginning and end, death rebirth transformation destruction, the dark eye of shiva, and in his one pointed focus comes all the creative change of the universe, and this is he and kali dancing. So she is Shakti. One last thing, it is incredible how spiritual capitalism is already happening in the world, people are using this power already, and probably have since ever before the wars and industrial revolution, why not? I don't say it is good, but we must get on an even playing field not? Why. One last thing: 'The art of Seeing', for who has the patience to listen. https://www.newmessage.org/the-message/other-revelations/the-art-of-seeing