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About bejapuskas

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  • Birthday 04/14/2003

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  1. @Epikur Countries with better LGBTQ+ rights are the most successful in fact. @Akemrelax I do not respect criticizing green from below. There is so much of it on this forum. Look at all this homophobia, transphobia on this thread. Horrible devilry. I do not get the sense that people here understand green. Why does people fighting for their rights offend you? Are you mad?
  2. @Akemrelax @Akemrelax Progressives maybe get identity wrong if you look at identity from your spiritual paradigm. But then progressives usually do not kill people because of their identity, that is why we say they make progress, because this currently happens in every society. People hating each other because of race, gender, religion... Criticizing them is of little to no use. You're attached to your privileged identity.
  3. @Karmadhi You are idealizing women. They are just as uneducated and full of struggles. They are not automatically able to select people who are good for them. They are not omniscient perfect godesses. Do you think you base your value and the value of other people according to the quantity of sexual experiences they have had because of pressure or because of your own feeling and ideology? So many of these PUAs come out to be depressed because they are not authentic. They just chase somebody else's values and ideals. Sex is good and fine, but like how you look at it and how you experience it can change and it makes a big difference.
  4. @StarStruck @StarStruck For guys it is also important how you feel no? Dont be repressed.
  5. @StarStruck Are you disociative in all social relationships? Do you trust people around you? Do you think your circle of friends is a safe space and that it makes you feel good, or would you say it is rather boring or toxic?
  6. @Preety_India I still think climax or falling in love can happen multiple times as you grow with someone. I think it happening only once is a kind of naive idealization of the emotion. One might think the other person is perfect and that they will fix them and fit them perfectly and that they will stay on matter what etc...
  7. Don't post anybody's phone number anywhere that's cruel. It will not help you, just walk away. Revenge is a very petty solution. Only commit to people who are equally or more committed than you.
  8. My friend was assaulted by her ex a few days ago. They broke up after a year long relationship, she got over it. One day he came to her house drunk with some other friend, he told her he wants to have some private conversation. Then when they were alone, he started kissing, then groping breasts, trying to rub and finger too. She was helpless because he completely overpowered her and even slapped her when she resisted. He said something like "why do we need to behave like typical exes". Then the other friend came and they looked weird so the friend suspected they were sad about the breakup. He asked the guy why, he lied and said that he started liking somebody else, which was not true, he just wanted to have sex and cheated on the girl three times. After that she confronted him on a phone call where he said something like "I just wanted to fuck you and I wanted to make you feel bad for not giving me, so that you would regret". As you might know, this girl was already traumatized since she had such a low self-esteem which made her not leave him after two instances of cheating. Then she got groped without consent and denied so many things she knew to be true. Some days later she decided to speak up about her story on instagram where people supported her. Her family however forced her to delete the post, because "they dont want to have anything in common with the case and the guy". Another victim silenced. If you wanna know about the guy, he was a typical nice guy who posted so much about human rights on social media, advocated for others and then did this.
  9. @StarStruck Maybe the stopping to care and breaking free from seeking is what is gonna do it for you.
  10. @Parththakkar12 Why do you care about the truth though, is it to make up your mind or is it a defense mechanism caused by hurtness? @Preety_India I am sorry you had to deal with such men. I guess you need to have a sincere care for each other and be willing to let go of defenses. You are right that only a few men have the maturity. Sometimes people have family trauma and dont want to talk because they think youd judge them for their emotions though. Yes that is exactly why I explain it and why I emphasize communication so much when I give dating advice. Im not an advocate for slut shaming and calling others derogatory words. I think BDSM based on trust and consent is fine. I see about the climax. I think that deeper knowledge though only arises in the relationship. I guess there is only very little you can learn about someone while you are still in dating phase. I mean it is useful, but I guess I wouldnt be naive to think that a person can be understood from a few interactions. What do you think about that? I guess it sounds pessimistic and hopeless, but also there probably are some deal breakers in dating that definitely help. Do you think love grows throughout and climaxes keep coming?
  11. @John Iverson @StarStruck I am not kidding. There are so many of these guys who think guys cannot get raped because they would just love it. There are literally laws saying that guys cannot get raped. It is ridiculous. Of course it matters on the quality of the sex, the safety, the connection... You just underestimate all this. I mean with that girl you probably would have enjoyed it from what I am hearing but I guess she was not up for it and that is a deal breaker. It is admireable that you approached so many and have not given up though. I am just curious what being yourself and providing love means to you. What is love to you? What is being yourself? Does it have anything to do with her?
  12. @John Iverson She needs to feel safe and certain that people will not interrupt. Try masturbating with a parent in the room next to you to see how it might feel for her to do it in your parents' house. Safety and privacy are key. @StarStruck No it is not weird. I understand you are very attracted to her. If you had sex in that state of connection you had, that might feel nice, but maybe she understood what happened differently. People tend to idealize experiences when they fall in love. Your perception might be very biased. I am not sure though, but like when you find a person with whom there is no friction, manipulation and also there is connection, that is the best. If you miss any of these, you might be disappointed. I dont think you want sex without connection do you.
  13. @Preety_India I agree there is a fine line and I agree that what you describe is a toxic dynamic imo, but like arguments dont have to be that and having sex after an argument does not need to be making up for anything. Arent you one of the people who think arguments are always bad? Have you ever had a productive argument? I think there can be different definitions of what treating like a whore means. I think we mean different things. Some people love being called whore. And it doesnt need to be the case that a person calls a girl whore while having sex and is also an asshole to her outside the bedroom. I think there are different kinds of domination and I agree with what you described being a healthy domination based on trust. Pride, confidence, trust... You can literally tie up someone, make them completely powerless and hit them in a way they enjoy and have it be based on trust. But there needs to be communication. What do you mean by reaching the climax in sexual attraction? Could you describe an experience? I think it can be a way to end up with someone who you dont really want to be with if you need to like keep building up for such a long time, although I know such couples I guess...
  14. @Preety_India I see what you mean. But then there is this thing with some anger actually being toxic and some anger just being an emotion you release when you are trying to solve a problem. One can argue in a very loving way. Anyone can have an argument with their partner and then feel like shit and this can repeat and lead to an end of a relationship, worse case life. But some people can be so good for each other and recognize that, argue when they know the other person is willing to undergo a change or to listen to them more in an aspect they want to point out to them, and then after the argument is done and resolved, you might go into the sexual play of staring the other person down, getting on top of them, undressing them etc. But I think that is totally fine only if like the arguments lead to a deepening of connection. Most people probably think all arguments are bad. I disagree with you on some other points, I think guys can be submissive or switches too, not necessarily does a guy dominate when they enjoy, but definitely nice guys might have a shadow in the area of domination, because they might not want to feel like somebody is their whore etc. And I think those guys might try it out because it can be learnt and enjoyed. It can release tension and lead to better sex without necessarily including becoming an asshole in life. This I am gonna take care of this I think should be a part of every relationship that Is healthy, I hate the idea of one sided chasing although periods of one sided chasing from both sides can be nice. I just do not recommend people to go for somebody who keeps ignoring them to the extent when they feel like they are chasing.
  15. @StarStruck I do not think you should be pushed to manipulate the other person in a relationship. I think having the other person being interested in you by themselves and simultaneously having you both try your best to be better and better for each other is a more stable scenario. Consider the possibility that you are pushing for the impossible or for the unenjoyable and you do not actually know what you want. How much experience do you actually have, how confident are you that that girl was actually somebody you would want? She was not even interested man, how can you say you would want that.