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About Max_V

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  • Birthday 12/27/1999

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  1. I wish you the absolute best man. Much love.
  2. I am addicted to filling up emptiness with content. I feel better when I don't do anything, yet I must fill my time. I must consume content. I don't know how to go about changing this is a handleable way. Every time I try to work on it a little bit, it's like a big wave comes a drags me away in a fast going stream, unable to move. And I'm back to square one. Again, and again, and again. I guess after a while I just gave up, because the issue was too big of a titan to even look at. I know this need for content is the reason why I have so many thoughts coarsing through my mind all the time. Even when I'm not on the internet, or whatever, my thoughts are here to keep me busy and drag me into their stories. It's my modus operandi. How do I change this mode my mind is set into, needing there to be 'stuff', in a way that will stick and is handleable?
  3. @Nahm I can see that I automatically give meaning to my sensations. For example, when I feel a certain way in my stomach, it automatically becomes fear. But further than that, I cannot see. too much noise and chaos going on
  4. @Nahm Thank you for all this. I haven’t been here in a while because I was discovering a lot of stuff. Finding out which way to go. And then learning about having autism confused me even more. It’s always comforting and relaxing to talk to you.
  5. @Nahm Oke. I wil start noticing the distinctions between sensations and thoughts. Although, this is very difficult to do in the midst of very turbulent emotions. @SunnyNewDay I am working on personal issues as well. Recently I got diagnosed with autism so becoming more understanding of what that means in how my body works is something that I am exploring right now. But what you’re saying is still a projection into the future. It doesn’t help me solve how I feel NOW. It is something that I transform over time.
  6. @Leo Gura Then what is the correct response to hearing about what happened to that girl I mentioned. If Evil is just another concept we create, how do we approach acts like that?
  7. @Truth Addict Can you explain to me what you mean with “Pain exists for protection” ? I don’t necessarily mean physical pain, but emotional suffering. I don’t know if I believe that pain is a bad thing. Evil terrifies me, and I cannot understand it. Why does it have to exist?
  8. @Truth Addict I believe it is a bad thing because I can see and feel the hurt and pain it brings out in people. Maybe death itself is not bad but the way it happens to people is.
  9. @Girzo Thank you, that video was very helpful. I must at some point read his books. @Leo Gura I’ll keep on with my meditation practice and become mindful of suffering, thanks. @Salvijus What do you think is good about this thread?
  10. @Leo Gura Then what do I do right now? Should I just suffer until I suddenly get insights and can move on? Being like I am right now, automatically comes with the judgement that because I’m not where I want to be and as free as I want to be, until I get there I am flawed.
  11. @Nahm Yes, but if that’s true and they are only sensations, why do I suffer through them?
  12. @Leo Gura You make it sound so simple. So far, it seems like that happening and when it happens is completely out of my control. If I could consciously drop my POV and feel whole again, I would. I would love to be where you are, but other than working every day to expand my awareness, I don't think I have control over when it happens.
  13. @Leo Gura From my point of view, how do events that bring rise to deep emotional and physical pain exist out of love? What does the attachment to my created self have to do with not understanding the happening of suffering and pain?
  14. @Nahm Yes, that's true. There are some thoughts that make these sensations painful to experience. The thoughts that I'm aware of right now are: "What if her spirit will haunt me because I feel guided and alive?" "I am helpless in stopping what happened" "I am helpless in protecting vulnerability" "How can such evil exists, it feels so incredibly painful." "Why are there so many people experiencing pain, what is the reason it must exist? there is no apparent reason that I see."