XYZ

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About XYZ

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    Los Angeles County, CA
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    Male
  1. A few days ago I had what feels like a micro-awakening, rushes of energy throughout body, lots of automatic kriyas, and tears flowed. This was lying on my back on the floor late at night before bed, very tired, procrastinated on going to bed, and took a high dose of liquid melatonin, which seems to be the most potent form. After the episode and since then, the sense of 'me' no longer feels like it comes from a mind within a body, but something that is present everywhere but also nowhere at the same time, like an expansive emptiness. Admittedly, can't be sure exactly where belief and direct experience intertwine, as of course they both inform each other. Like for example, I think about something I learned in a video, and then it becomes part of a lucid dream, it becomes a direct experience, and after experiencing 20 seconds or so of what feels like genuine ego death during a meditation, then identify with ego less as a belief. I'm unable to sit long in any position chair or floor, but also unable to sleep on my back - thus meditating lying down. Feels most natural this way, feet and legs don't get numb, easier to pay attention to breath, spine can elongate without worrying if am I keeping my back straight, and the body can writhe and wiggle freely to circulate energy/release tension.
  2. Yes and Yes. Single vs. coupled is a false duality, even in the ego world. Men are fed that narrative that they need to find a partner, and have this unrealistic fantasy of a woman loving (with a lowercase l) them in way only a mother could love her children. As you get older though, you tend to become happier alone, and genuinely appreciate the peace and calm of solitude.
  3. I prefer psybient music, like this:
  4. What do you actually want? Not as an idea or abstraction like "a girlfriend" but what is it you actually want to experience in life? I think that your suffering comes from being hung up on the concept of having a girlfriend, and feeling you lack that abstract fantasy. Long ago I realized how ridiculous the duality of single and "Taken" is, and laughed at how the human animal takes itself so seriously. No one belongs to anyone else, there's no such thing as having a girlfriend, relationships are the process of relating always in flux, undefined, unlimited. A relationship is not some sovereign entity whereby a man and women (from the heteronormative perspective) get together and mutually own each other. It's something that happens moment by moment. This is as concisely as I can explain my mindset, single and whatever you may call it's opposite are not terms in my vocabulary, the concepts just don't exist in my reality, they come from a paradigm I don't subscribe to. From this perspective I am not deprived of anything, I am whole and complete as an individual, and as the infinite. When it comes down to it what I really want is physical contact and intimate connection with beautiful women. I get to experience moments of this on occasion, even if it's just eye contact, conversation and hugs, and it warms my heart. Sure, in a perfect world I would get to kiss and cuddle together with someone for longer, but even so, it's like a glass half full perspective, seeing sensuality as abundant, and myself as communing with feminine energy. There are plenty of ways to experience it through the 5 senses, not just with women if that isn't an option. Can listen to all manner of music, ASMR, women looking into camera and talking, and enjoy the sound of their voices. While I avoid looking at porn because it feeds fixation on sexual lust, I get satisfaction looking at the female form as art, as well as being out an nature, being soothed by the sights, sounds and smells of abundant flora, taking it all in. Whatever path to freedom you take, it is best to come from owning your sexuality not trying to repress it, and de-abstracting your ideas of intimacy to experience sensuality directly, getting to the point where all of life is a sensual experience, as well as a spiritual one, whatever you're doing.
  5. Well reusable bags and Priuses don't help the environment. Human population decline and new technology to pollute less, and clean up pollution will. Consumer choices have negligible effect, so unless you're an engineer, really the greenest thing you can do is just never reproduce. I care because I actually have to drink the water and breathe the air on this planet.
  6. I'm going on the extreme and uncertain path of doing consciousness work before developing a strong ego or addressing long term survival concerns. I was never able to lock those down, they didn't seem possible to get handled. Worrying about that stuff led me to depressive thinking, the scarcity mindset and worsening addictions to things I used to escape it, like porn, junk food and internet games. Petty money and ego bullshit, I don't care, makes me numb thinking about that stuff, boring drudgery. It's accessing higher consciousness and contemplating the absolute the brings me to tears, that is the place from which I want to live out the rest of my human experience. To hell with wage slavery, live free or die, as they say in New Hampshire. The whole process of building a personal identity, choosing a life purpose, and slaving away for a few years to escape money-slavery felt beyond my reach, too late for me, and also not worth my limited time and energy every day. I'm a unique case though, cause most people, and particularly men seem to need purpose and a grounded sense of self to function as a human, and others don't have the luxury of not working while having food and housing provided. My master plan would be to merge my personal development (including but not limited to spirituality) with a strategy for escaping scarcity once my unsustainable living situation runs out. I am seeing myself as like the bamboo tree, which spends years gradually sprouting roots, not looking like it's making any progress, while by the time it is ready to grow it shoots up several metres a week. Facing actual poverty and/or early death are real possibilities though, but I choose to face life without fear of that.
  7. I watched this video a while back and remember that being the jist of it: @Ayilton
  8. "Lowest Priority" means it's generally not enforced, like with marijuana in California during the 10 years before legalization.
  9. Try audiobooks while lying down closing your eyes. This way your mind can focus entirely on the content rather than reading words off a page.
  10. I'm noticing more online stores using Shopify. Seems to work smoothly- from both the customer and business standpoint.
  11. This is very relevant, and I almost forgot about the video until now. Guy claims to have developed a consistent precognitive dreaming ability after he once took Lorazepam. Disregard the 'MGTOW' label in the title here, not what the video is about.
  12. It's an obvious assumption that most people would be inclined to just run faster on the hedonic treadmill if you increased their purchasing power and/or reduced their working hours. I hesitated to write that at first, thinking that what if low consciousness people use money, or the freedom and resources it enables, to raise their consciousness. But if they would do so, then such a person is actually of high consciousness in the first place, but it doesn't manifest due to survival concerns taking precedence. Low consciousness vs. high consciousness people is a false duality I created, but works as a rough generalization for purposes of discussion. This happens constantly to people fleeing Africa to migrate to Europe, and Central America for illegal entry to the US. Illegal immigration is still a burden on public resources & funding. Also part of the basic provisions system would be non-competitive work assignments for anyone who'd need them, and cracking down on operations that hire undocumented workers to pay them less and avoid taxes. As we have now in the US, work visas are granted to those who would be net taxpayers in the economy. Not to mention the absurdity of importing foreign refugees while poverty and homelessness runs rampant domestically, even among combat veterans. This. Politics and economics feel like the antithesis of spirituality. But because of this we keep coming back to it. Can't expect humanity to evolve to higher consciousness when we're still struggling with basic survival needs, being devils who filter everything based on its usefulness to the functions of the body, and the desires of the ego. I point out that many who try to be catalysts for a global shift to higher consciousness end up becoming elitists virtue signaling to those who don't have the same luxuries. But then again, even stage Turquoise people still need to eat, sleep and shit sometimes.
  13. @CreamCat Low consciousness people would just use more money for low consciousness activities. However, a post-monetary system of basic provisions would free people from being stuck in survival mode. Hard for someone to raise their vibrations when most concerns are still how will I make rent and pay for food. Or even if those needs are met well, but work and chores take up most of their waking hours. Providing food and housing would actually motivate people to make money to have anything else they want, while at the same time, have the security of not worrying about basic necessities. That is how you'd maximally unleash human potential on a large scale. I've often suggested lower birthrates and stopping immigration are both necessary so that a given society can have more resources to go around, less competition, less mouths to feed, and maintain it's own bubble of prosperity. It would never work if anyone form all over the world is allowed to come to the places that administer basic provisions systems, but once it is proven successful, other places can create they own systems, and this meme would gradually replace conventional cutthroat capitalism and other low consciousness economic games. A successful basic provisions system wouldn't work long term unless the population stabilizes, and declines proportionate to the rise in standard of living, plus increasing costs of such a welfare state. But somehow, saying close the borders and require birth control for public benefits recipients makes me literally Hitler and the Devil.
  14. I'm a devil and I know it! Now what? 😈
  15. 23-24. A dentist recommended it when I was 20, but was on my parents' insurance plan at the time and they didn't think I needed to have them out. They're also anti-vaxers, so you get the picture. @YaNanNallari In yoga classes I go to, the teachers often say "place your tongue on the roof of your mouth" when describing correct posture for standing straight, or seated meditation. Guess we'd never thought to just do that all the time.