Search the Community

Yes exactly. Not seeing/seen anymore at all. Just appearance. Like the quick image of a sunset I chopped together. Only appearance remains shining pristine. To nobody and nothing. Importantly, there is no point of view there anymore. The image is, impossibly, no longer in front of you or behind you or anywhere at all. It's by itself. Without any you anywhere at all. Nowhere in relation to it. Not even merged with it, or swirling around "at one" with it like DMT breakthrough trips, it's not there anymore. Not somewhere in relation to it, not merged with it: gone... NOT only the thoughts or ideas of self gone leaving behind some kind of hidden entity, not a true Self, not a self made of nothingness, just 100% non-existent. The "true Self" or "I" is another appearance like a sunset or like anything else.

Realization, knowing that you are God, Infinity, Nothingness, or whatever you want, is one great oxymoron. Realization and cognition mean something finite, and a limited mind functions in these terms. AND YOU ARE. ALWAYS. THERE IS NO SUCH POSSIBILITY FOR YOU TO STOP BEING. You can experience whatever you want there - everything, nothingness, and what is in between and argue with others - with yourself, whose experience is more. It has no consequences for your ever being. That's it, Gods

because you are attached to your life, your body, your family, to everything that is in your mind, and you feel terror to let go of all that and became absolute nothingness. But you already are and all that things in your mind are just imagination, so better let everything go and realize the reality

@Scholar Insight defined by pathway, differences or contrasts between form and nothingness. However, this is not the original definition provided by Leo Gura, going by the actualized blog of what is insight. So, even if you assume Leo actually defines insight as the pathways/differences/contrasts between form and nothingness, and not based on the blogpost of insight by google, the question still becomes, what defines pathways, differences, contrasts, between, forms, and nothingness? Also, going forward, which definitions of those do and are you going to use for this discussion, because, how do you know which meaning am I or you or others use when talking about pathways, differences and contrasts that make up insights? What kinds of insights you will have, are based upon what stage of developmental values you hold, cognitive and moral development you are at, what major/minor personality traits and personas, or the 'you's in your mind are, the states of consciousness and beings you can be, the life experiences you have so far with places and people, and other lines of development, plus ideas/concepts/beliefs from your upbringing and family values and cultural and societal values from where you came from imprinted into your mind. All holistically coming together, to create and generate the kind of insights you have, from the insight that you can draw a circle, to the insight that you exist only, and others/the world is not real. The insights that make you go 'oh! I left my car keys and coffee on the table' to Eureka moments of world destruction. Those types of insights are dependent on your entire worldview and sense making apparatuses in your mind, and how it generalizes, distorts and deletes information that fits with its survival agendas and biases. The differences between form and nothingness, and dissolving the form = nothingness, is a simplification and assumption of what actual could happen if you dissolved form, because dissolution has stages that are observable, to stages that are not observable to one's perception, so when a form is dissolving, it doesn't go from form to formlessness, which is actually the correct binary opposite rather than this form/nothingness, the dissolving form becomes another form, another something, and not go to nothingness or formlessness directly quickly. Addressing each example, first off that's an assumption that because you dissolve a form, that that causes truth as an effect of a form's destruction, for all 6 examples. Secondly: Form is duality. Duality is dissolved. The Truth is non-duality. (Or that the truth is unity and not non-duality) Form is selfish. Selfishness is dissolved. The Truth is Selflessness. (Or that the truth is non-selfishness. Another is that selfishness=bias, so destruction of bias causes a truth, that of un-bias.) Form is fear. Fear is dissolved. The Truth is Love. (Or that the truth is fearlessness, and not love, as love is not the true binary opposite of fear, fearlessness is.) Form is limitation. Limitation is dissolved. Truth is Infinity. (Or that the truth, after dissolution of limitation, is unlimitation, not infinity, because it's true opposite is finitude and not limitation.) Form is dream. Dream is dissolved. Truth is Awakening. (Or that the truth, is a change in one's state of consciousness, one that was being inside a dream state after going sleepiness state, becoming slumber state, then deep sleep, then dream state, then transit into wakeful consciousness) Form is ignorance. Ignorance is dissolved. Truth is Intelligence. (Or that dissolving of ignorance, leads to the truth of non-ignorance, or unbiased thing. and not intelligence. Why? Because ignorance is part of a surviving sentient being's mind, due to limited intelligence and physical/mental/emotional resources, must be selective in what and where it places attention into, as attention spent is calories spent maintaining focus and awareness into one limited are. This causes a large portion of your field of awareness to only show what's being placed attention into, so that your sense of self isn't overrun by the various objects and people around. Ignorance, then, is a function of the mind to safegaurd you from getting lost in the reeds, lost in the music or crowds and so forth.) After reading and re-reading your entire post, it seems to me you have a love and hate relationship with @Leo Gura. Your talking points are very similar to Buddhism or traditional Advaita Vedanta, and Leo may have said something you simply can't nor won't agree with, due to his different method/approach to practicing spirituality. This entire post is, therefore, you vent your disagreement to Leo, which is fine, but you are being sneaking with how you complain about Leo, and not consider steelmanning his point of view, but rather attack him in an underhanded way with all this.

At the beginning of my journey I meditated pretty much every day for some years and got pretty solid insights of no self, even of Absolute and "nothing ever happened" but still all of this was unconsciously with the vibe of scepticism, materialism and nihilism. It was only after my first trips with mushrooms that my mind was cracked open to how magical reality is, how air is made of Loving Nothingness, not just Empty Dull Nothigness that I got from meditating only. Speaking relatively I think it is silly to assume that something our mind produces is as good as the best chemicals out there out of thousands. It like saying that training your legs to jump as high as possible is as good as a jetpack. There is this kind of "Naturalness Fallacy" that if some widom or state is aquired by something external like psychedelic then it is somehow less valid. But external is artificial distinction. All reality is the mind of God and if I were God i would hide the Holy Grail in some fun place (like mushrooms or toad) and not just in my Avatar's mind which would be too easy and boring. Not acknowledging that psychedelics are extremely helpful and are beyond what meditation is capable of is like saying that you do not need telescopes to explore the night sky because you can just train your eye.

Easy. Because there is nothing, and the nothingness is unfathomable depth. As it has no limits, it's everything it's possible to be. Absolute freedom. That's what we are. We never began, we won't end, we are absolutely nothing, and because that, absolutely everything, for the single reason that we can. We can everything. We are god and it's not a joke. Nothing could be better than that, even god couldn't imagine nothing better.

If you think of existence as that which is itself, as that which creates itself by being itself, then there can be a universe that destroys all universes including ours, but, again, when you think of it as that which is itself, then it, again, can reform itself, for it is "nothing" from which it is made. I mean, maybe that destruction of all universes already happened two minutes ago, but nothingness, out of nothing that it is, reformed itself as this universe and the sense of an unbroken continuity where it is just another normal day where I'm writing this to you.

I don't consider it a state of consciousness. I've not awakened, but purely as a thought exercise I can come to the realization that there's nothing outside of the room that I'm in at will. All you have to do is get into the present moment and look around at your room with a new set of eyes, and not take anything for granted. Close any doors, as looking out into a hallway partially kind of ruins the illusion. Close your blinds and ideally do it at night. Likewise, sunlight gives too much of an impression that there's something outside. If there's just blackness outside it's easier for your brain to interpret as nothingness. Ideally you don't have any sounds outside, although if you live downtown or something that might be hard. Then you just kinda look around and realize, holy shit, this is it. I can't perceive with any of my senses or verify that anything outside this room exists. If my parents aren't in this room, then they don't exist. There's a specific sensation to it, like you know there's nothing on the other side of the walls. Then once you reach that point, you can come to the realization that even the part of the room you're in that's outside of your field of view behind you doesn't exist

The Nature of All Insights, inculding all Concepts and Ideas you have heard from Leo is the following: Insight is defined by the pathway, or difference, or contrast between Form and Nothingness. This means that what kind of Insights about Reality you will have will depend on what kind of Form you are. There is a difference between the Form and Nothingness. Once you dissolve the Form, it will seem like the opposite of it's Nature is Truth. For example: Form is duality. Duality is dissolved. The Truth is Non-duaity. Form is selfish. Selfishness is dissolved. The Truth is Selflessness. Form is fear. Fear is dissolved. The Truth is Love. Form is limitation. Limitation is dissolved. Truth is Infinity. Form is dream. Dream is dissolved. Truth is Awakening. Form is ignorance. Ignorance is dissolved. Truth is Intelligence. All of these concept can only be arrived at through the journey, the distance between Form into Source. Something cannot be Limitless without Limitation. Something cannot be non-dual without duality. Something cannot be selfless without selfishness. Something cannot be awake if there is no dream. Something cannot be intelligent if there is no ignorance. So insight is the moving towards the source. And that motion and it's nature will depend on the nature of the form. See, Existence is not merely one thing, one Absolute. It is Impossibility. It is what it deems to be. And this is why Leo is chasing his own tail, blindly stumbling through the light. All of his teachings, are exploring his Form and it's motions. This is why he is so certain he has reached the "Absolute Truth", when that very sensation of having reached an end, having reached the Absolute, is merely one more form, one more limitation he is putting upon himself. Once that Limitation is lifted, Impossibility will be recognized. And then, there is no longer any teaching of the Truth, there is only the exploration and transmutation of Existence. All of Human Spirituality is merely the Afterglow of the Dissolution of Humanity.

@Leo Gura What about meditation experiences that are more psychcedelic in nature? I have issues maintaining health, yet when I am fully healthy and can workout I can have crazy energetic experiences that are similar to the one NN-DMT experience I have the NN-DMT experience feels more alien, yet it often feels like heavy ego / dark knight stuff that needs to be proccessed for example dark room retreats. Similar with LSD I get tiny tastes of love, emptiness, nothingness and a lot of internal relative insight and I feel I become more whole/open and clean overall in terms of how I conduct my life after some integration approx. What can I make out meditative experiences that surpass psychdelic experiences? Would you for example in the same situation continue to pursue meditation seriously? When it has such a dramatic affect that it can be more intense than any psychdelic you can take. It's like my brain is made for meditation and psychdelics are the deepst layer you can enter, that is why I have so much respect, I did not meet many people who have the same kind of experiences, they are similar, yet never as intense. I have a big/huge ego, so I know I consistently implore what is consciouness and choose deliberately teachers/gurus who go and see beyond the edge of a plate. The main issue I have is physical health mostly, not even that much mental. Why for example the comment you made about merging, I can get tastes of merging while meditating like I become the orange/juice/rock/bird/object in 3D space, yet with psychcedelics transforming into something else becomes way way more real, I once posted a report saying I basically merged with a part of nature I became literally the bird outside chirping. While meditating on LSD for hours. You wrote to me I am paraprhrasing: "Nice work tasting the tail of the ox " in a bit more cheeky manner, is that what is meant with consciouness? The pure fabric so to speak that gives rise to everything? Ground zero? Or am I completely of here, as I tasted so many different flavours it's not easy to make distinctions and continue the work when there are so many silos, instead of wholes. I am just sometimes to afraid to go off into the deep end and never comeback lol.

I think when “nothing” becomes another mental construct/concept it’s a problem (of ego??), but direct experience is just pure being/stillness, where everything is subtly recognised as energy when it moves as in thought/sensations/emotions but these are also recognised as things that come out of stillness/nothing. Not had direct experience with this for a while, need to meditate for hours to get there, at least in my experience. still locked in ego most of the time but I remember once I felt a deep sense of nothingness, was an amazing realisation at the time which of course fuelled the mind into more thinking and awe … it’s mad tho because obviously we are energy in motion and can’t deny that, and all of life around us, but I think problems always arise when ego labels everything as something rather than just letting it be. I think just shouting about “nothing” bla bla can be problematic to people who aren’t on this path but people who have some awareness of it could greatly benefit from constant reminders guiding them back to presence/no mind. Because as soon as you make things into ‘something’, you automatically deny what actually is, right? ?? I.e no presence/mind/ego

I am not talking about observer. Experience does not require an observer, it is more like a process of experiencing. When I say experience I mean the same thing when you say appearance, I thought we already went through this word-game earlier in some other thread. Then we meant the same thing, this is what I was talking about too. I was reading the PDF that you sent and found the 8th jhana to describe the state I was trying to describe most adequately: The Mind-Base of Neither-Perception-Nor-Non-Perception. Within the perception of nothingness lies the perception of not even nothing! If the mind is subtle enough to see this feature, then the perception of nothingness disappears and is replaced by the perception of neither perception nor no perception. All that one can say about this fourth immaterial attainment is that it is, in fact, a perception. This is what I meant.

There is a place of mind, that cannot be spoke about, or communicated, as it is a non experience, think about when you go into deep sleep at night. Think about where every previous state of conciousness goes This is different form Nothingness, this is a complete cessation of Mind

The Shadow, also known as the The Empty, is a mysterious cosmic being/entity who lives in and controls the Empty, a place of nothingness predating God, Death and the Darkness.

Disclaimer - This journal is not about anyone on this forum. The journal is about my toxic exes. Stop reading my content. If I had to write about you I would have mentioned you. Just stop starting unnecessary drama with me. And this is an old journal im trying to copy again. I have zero interest in discussing anyone who exists on this forum. The Shadow, also known as the The Empty, is a mysterious cosmic being/entity who lives in and controls the Empty, a place of nothingness predating God, Death and the Darkness.

GREAT MOVIE with amazing cinematography If you love Leo's work then this movie is a great representing of the relationship between nothingness and love Crazy good! Insane to see a lot of pop culture now leaning towards love and its flavors

@Razard86 I’m going to just quote a description of one of such less fabricated potential experiences than consciousness from an expert as I’ve likely only truly “been there” one time as far as this specific state goes. The standard jhanas are often seen as being progressively less fabricated states until you go past the eighth jhana to the cessation of perception and feeling which is essentially the opposite of experience. “The Eighth Jhana, Neither Perception Nor Non-Perception If meditators wish to attain the eighth jhana, they can simply hang out in Nothingness until they get bored with perception entirely and understand that even the profoundly subtle perception that is Nothingness is subtly disconcerting or dissatisfying. Thus, the mind will eventually shift on its own to the state with the perplexing but thoroughly appropriate title of “Neither Perception Nor Non-Perception”, hereafter “the eighth jhana” or “j8” for the sake of brevity. This state is largely incomprehensible. There is no reasonable way to attempt to describe it, save that it is a mind state. I am tempted to say that in it we are simultaneously focused so narrowly that we notice nothing and yet so broadly focused that we don’t notice even that, but such a description doesn’t do this state justice. Another way I sometimes think of this state is like what happens when you turn off an old, tube-driven black-and-white television when the screen goes blank and just before it shuts off there is this tiny pale dot in the middle of the screen. It is like what happens just at the moment that dot is right on the edge of being totally gone, as if you froze in time that edge right between the dot being there and not being there and had it apply to everything in your whole sensate world. One way or another, there is complete inattention to diversity, or divestment from attention to multiplicity, however you wish to think of it. The eighth jhana is the highest of the standard ordinary states of concentration that can be attained (ignoring the attainment of nirodha samapatti, also known as “the cessation of perception and feeling”, and some more unusual jhanic goodies detailed later). This state is contrasted with the first seven jhanas in that it is not possible to investigate this state, because it is too incomprehensible.” Consciousness is basically the same as awareness in my vocabulary if that tells you anything. Consciousness and awareness are essentially the same as experience other than a handful of rare states which are still experiential but happening at more subtle levels than consciousness or awareness. If you want to read more description about the eight jhana, this is the source that was quoted: https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/28-the-formless-realms/

This is the EXACT phenomena I'm describing btw: To the letter the same thing, is what happened about uh, 3 or 4 weeks ago. I've used DMT hundreds of times, since. Hm. 2020 I think? Spring of the first lockdown. Last use was about one year ago. I can def explain the phenomenal experiences of a DMT breakthrough. The precise exact way by which you become "sizeless" especially. And also the sense of identification with nothingness. I can explain that with precision also. Easily, on request. EXACTLY in easy language the steps which cause some of that phenomena. This was different. It ALL feels like transcendent shit though. DMT breakthroughs and repeating "Brahman" in a heavy hallucinogenic trance stroking my face like a fuckin' freak, it ALL feels to be something very real and transcendent and ALL is to a degree. That specific phenomena, just like the video, and also the other kinds of breakthrough trips, they're all insanely warped versions of typical perspective so....... I don't really have a clue it's all so weird.

The ego is given some degree of control over its own life. For examples, it can influence its own mind, its own body, its own surroundings, and be a piece in a greater web of lives/subjects/objects. Obviously all of it is a Single One Nothingness/Divinity which supremely controls all of it but transcends it, itself, at the same time. But there is a part, called the ego, which can live its own life with the permission of the Divinity, because it itself is divine. It can even gain access to and become a representative of the highest Divine, the "CEO" as you called it. This isn't a possibility that's been shut off to you. It's attainable. It has to be. Go around accusing people of being fake and they'll lock you up in a sanitarium. That's just how it works. But I can confirm that solipsism is NOT true, because I exist, and if you claiming you exist means you exist, that means that there has to be at least two people. This called transference. Art = Life = Art.

Only God's Will is all-powerful. Only God's will IS. God's will is the only command for this particular game to keep appearing as reality. There is no other will around but One, because anyone that you've always had interactions with is what makes the world alive. Given the fact that the Universe is this rn, the external objective reality is an idea. You'd get lonely ..because there is no veil of perception. Nobody is perceiving an objective external world. If I interact with You and I am ✌️ I am You because nonduality, duality, one, two, etc are words and thoughts, the only way of access for truth to get realized or for God to realize God is direct experience. I can't see my face when I open my eyes because Consciousness is not activity of brain neither has anything to do with brains. What is behind closed eyelids? It's the Same Same. What is behind opened eyes? The black screen you see when you close your eyes is not the perception of having your eyes closed when you realize there are no physical eyes, brains or eyelids. What's beyond the visual field? Nothing else appearing because to say *space*, you see, for that to be correct you should be having direct experience of what you call space beyond visual field... Now play around with this train of thought... You realize there is no space beyond direct experience, and you start wondeing... Is there anything at all happening beyond direct experience? And then you rethink the first question more throughly.. And u think to urself.. ? Ummmm God's game ? is designed in such a way that once the click happens you lose all fear. Because you know, and that knowing is your fuel. You are Unstoppable. Try this out: Close your eyes for 2 seconds, then open just one. Keep just that one open for 6 seconds. Look, did u notice? Now... At the same time, open the left eye and put your hand like this as you keep the other one open as well. ? Notice how you re creating the whole Qualia of every drop and ocean of sensation. Your body is Qalia. Of course you're dreaming up Qualia in real time. Qualia is not a mix of signals interpreted by a brain. Brain is Qualia too as all appearance. But guess what are the implications of *Brains are not even something that exist outside or as smth else other than though, Qualia. Only the eyes are the windows to "God's Highest States" Pointer .. ??? There are two Eyes ?️?️, Maybe you never thought it throughly, I mean, wtf, why 2✌️?️?️? why... And then you realize.. When you realize the real awakening triggered by this pointer, since you can't see your face you start looking for another ?️?️ and then finally everything clicks. It clicked. You start seeing and understanding that the absence of your eyes within your sight is experienced via a double body with the same nonlocal seat... Astral projection, OBE etc. Think about seeing your face and your body on the bed while out of body journeying... What is really happening is you having direct experience.. Eyes are that stuff which cannot be seen until You discover through direct truth access that the way you experience this very moment might have ✌️ existing nonlocal .. in the same "seat". Just imagine... A world where there is no suffering. A world where the only suffering the world ever experienced is through conscious direct experience. Hi? The One reading this rn. ?✌️Clue... Everything that appears as XYZ is Consciousness, your voice, sight insight, feels, thoughts are Consciousness as well. Consciousness = ? Reread this paragraph and read beyond what you first thought I mean; Two channels✌️OneScreen??✌️ One Godhead, I included some symbols here which I am not using to express what these emoticons etc are supposed to convey as meaning 'conventionally', please let all the old meaning behind. If you know what I mean you can surely verify it in your direct experience, the only way of recognizing the same insight, awakening and breakthrough realization is through getting the Clues, a clue is a pointer. Guess what? If everything is Consciousness, guess what the pointers are pointing at. Look...There is no ego either. There never was. What do I mean by that... Well, you might wonder, In what sense there is no ego... ?.. The ego is creation. Creation is play. The Ego you've been keep updating and upgrading as you keep dreaming it up... Every ego activit that occured within your awareness is the only reference point for what? ? Now you might wonder ? What if there is randomness here and there in God's game? But now think this throughly... everything you think and do is fueled by God's will and after True God's God-Realization begins the Journey of contacting yourself by initiating connnexion with Yourself, God-realized God wanna be Itself and experience itself..and explore this liberation through Interaction with Capital I. Direct experience of There is no veil of perception= Proof available when you take 5-meo with your girlfriend and you realize that you cannot see your face because this is when both get the biggest clue , literally and metaphorically, you cannot see your face because for you to look into your eyes you'd have to look through some other eyes. Fire cannot cook and eat, cannot magically turn into a human being, butterfly etc because fire is Qualia. Qualia has no will. But the recontextualization after the Realization: Consciousness cannot be absent There is no Unconsciousness What this is pointing to ...✌️ "I am Conscious in your Mind too* might make you enter this state: "the real realization of what this: Imagine Reading Religion stuff from God's POV. Do u remember that line? NWe made man in our image. Our. Our. Our. Image ?? God Realized that God is immortal and It's existence is absolute, it Has nothing to do with any unconscious nothingness. There is no nothing in existence, there is no absence when it comes to existence/God. Full stop. Start practicing some Consciousness play... Don't think about anything for 7 hours straight with a partner. You just focus on each other without talking, worrying, eating, doing rutine shit etc. Just stay there, both on 5-meo and look into each other's eyes till both of you recognize the fact that you've always communicated inside the mind. That s the only body of work that God sacrificed itself by living in your imagination thinking your whole life into being.

Hello Everyone! I hope you all are doing good. I have a question. Why can nothingness (pure empty awareness) not keep itself appearing as everything (this whole Illusory dream experience) constantly without sleep as a break? Waiting for your response. Thanks & Regards Jawad

I've been crying a lot lately. It's like I've rediscovered some emotional layer in me, that I've been trying to deny and destroy, but only managed to hide somewhere deep. It feels so empowering and liberating to just let all that emotional pain come out. See it, feel it. Be present in it. Not all crying has been from pain, it comes from love, too. I've been thinking about this lately and I've come to a point where putting happiness as end goal feels pointless and limiting. At least the way I see it now. I see everywhere statements such as "Don't try to be happy, be happy". And I see the first part of it. But whenever I stop to think about it and ask myself, overall do I consider myself to be happy, the answer is no, I can't say that. I can't find the overall happiness from my experience. Having happiness as my goal, I'm creating baseline and/or contrast to the present moment, because I start to rate how good my life is based on how close I am that happiness instead of just seeing what is. No matter how well everything is in my experience, it's never well enough because it didn't make me happy. What that even means? Do I have to be happy? I'm having a hard time verbalizing my experience around this. It almost sounds like I'm seeing happiness as some kind of bad thing now, but that's not exactly what I mean. Through all my life, I've held a belief that even though I'm not happy now, I can be happy somewhere in future. It's been my dream. I want to do everything I can to be happy. It's been necessary for my survival. It's been my driving force. Even though everything is collapsing now, it doesn't need to be that way always. But right now, I'm standing in a place where that mantra has lost it's meaning and become limiting. It's feels empty, pointless rule. I'm on an edge of letting go of that, and boy it feels scary. I have fears, what if I lose every meaning in life? What if I push myself to a dark place for eternity? What if I lose my will to live, what if I lose my enthusiasm? I feel like that's all I have. It's been my purpose in life, to become happy. It feels like letting go of that leaves me with nothing. No purpose, no meaning, no goal, no (figurative) solid ground under my feet. It feels like letting go of it is like destroying everything I've build. And I I have to start again from beginning. Still, it feels like the leap I need to do. *** She's walking in the darkness Blindfold tightly on her closed eyes She opens her eyes, but still Sees nothing The ground beneath her feet Vanishes And she falls She falls and falls and falls Into never ending void of darkness And nothingness Oh, how I wish I could tell her That she is the light Oh, how I wish I could show her That she's not falling Because she can fly *** Total time meditated this year: 37 hours 30 minutes Books read/listened this year: 9

@patricknotstar Yes. I have a friend who lives trapped in this dimension. He says not to be afraid of the dark. Cant even begin to stomach the Lessons from this dimension. I almost dissolved once into nothingness and my ego instantly new what to do lol.

I don’t think Kant was much of a mystic, he was a hardcore rationalist. So nothingness as the noumenal part of something probably wouldn’t be his first idea. But it’s an interesting idea.

@Loba Ive had the experience of nothingness I was in college and drank 24 beer then took a bong hit. I went back to the living room and reality started looping. The girl I was with kept looking at the tv then looking at me asking me if im ok then looking back at the tv and I kept saying no. This happened 500 times then I greened out and I feel my soul leaving my body. Im in a state where I am nothing but a rolling emotion of sadness and loneliness. Each time the emotions roll I feel extreme sadness then extreme loneliness. Forever slowly I start forgetting what I am sad about slowly I start forgetting my life. I am becoming non existent as my thoughts start popping up once a week it seems my mind will say something. I forget everything Im just a void. Suddenly I am in sea of souls all the souls around me are screaming and crying we are flowing like a stream. I am not screaming or scared I have no idea whats going on. There is a water wheel the souls go up and its like a circular river. I look up there is a Giant Bull skeleton the size of a mountain in the middle it notices me because I am not screaming or scared. It picks me up and throws me. I wake up instantly after that. I could have woken up in anything after that and I wouldn't have known I ever existed.