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About Loba

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  1. Offering insight isn't a critique in my opinion, it's just showing a different vantage point that people can take. You or anyone is free to use it, or leave it. I wasn't criticizing you at all - simply suggesting that these sorts of actions can be a gateway to seeing that we don't need to point the finger at one another. Everything is perfect. What I am trying to get at is that no one needs to tell you that how you deliver your message is wrong. Your words have a place here, just as anyone's. We are free to internalize what we find useful, but you should not feel stifled either to fit into a box. That's what I was getting at. I don't have any negative opinion of you, our short conversations on this forum have been cordial. When I write, I come from a place moreso of self-learning through my own trial and error. It's moreso that it benefits you individually not to get into it like that. Your personal actions and words are powerful, like a beautiful dance and how you choose to carry your message is yours alone, but it builds upon your reality - and this can be inclusive or divisive. Criticism is great and all things lend to what must Be, but the problem is, that it needs to come from a place where we can see the whole picture into where a person is coming from and people often don't have the ability to do this. I have learned that I absolutely don't have this ability and so if I were to offer a negative message instead of a positive one, then I would be sewing the seeds of division instead of inclusion. It's more about where you stand energetically - are you trying to help that person integrate and are just offering a perspective that could give them the Light, or are you using it to bolster your ego in order to be right? From another angle, the more you allow yourself to view the world from a place of mending the patches, the rest of the world will follow. Each human is extremely powerful in how they create their reality. It just depends on the direction you want to take - one direction will move things downwards and offer more to the tangle, and the other will unravel the mess and allow it room to breathe. Same - it's moreso just to maintain the individual's sense of integration. When the Word is focused negatively outwards, even if it is correct, the energy behind it isn't aligned with the greater good. So we end up in situations where we all sort of look over the reality of the situation - instead is to seek within and find and bring out that Love, and then come from this place and see how your Words will create what is around you. The more you do this, the more source lends to the power of your Word - you're granted permission to use it in a way that makes an impact through the undercurrent rather than going over the heads of others. It's like a dance, but one that is beautiful and what I am trying to point to is how people can basically gain the Siddhi of actually using Words in a way that will change fate. Love without ego is law - and so to move with this in accordance is to truly teach others - it's still a work in progress for me personally, but one that I hope to get better with in due time. Thanks for your comment, I always appreciate a reply from you. It's kind of a catch 22 - in that there is a way to do this, but it also lends to letting go of control. Thus why I say it both doesn't matter what others do - but only in how you integrate your own self - that's really all that is needed. But yeah, it does make a comment that has both this and that within it.
  2. I have no criticism, the more I get into this work, the less it seems to be my lot in life to judge others for their delivery or how they choose to practice. I tend to be someone who uses a lot of long posts, and my process is very elaborate - but I spend a lot of time thinking on how to proceed, and bringing into me and expressing the messages from the divine - the route there is not always as simple as a sentence or two - that is usually the end result, though. To whittle yourself down to who you are is to unravel a codex within the spirit. Within that codex, once it begins to open, you will see that to worry about another, or two allow yourself to be taken in by another's judgment of you is a form of outwards looking that feeds into a mechanism of division - that pretends that it is inclusive when the reality is we are all connected through love. And everyone's expression of it is valid. How they come to you is of no importance at all... none. In fact, weeks, months later, their message can set off a chain reaction of divine inspiration. To worry about, or to look at anything that is not within your own personal process is to take away from yourself - it's to miss the point - we are all interconnected and everything that we do will lend towards the process of expansion. It isn't anyone's concern, nor business to convert another person to their way of deconstructing themselves. You have the option to take it or to leave it. To get into these things in this way, to worry about them even an ounce, is to suck yourself back into the matrix, back into division. If I had not had certain situations play out with people, I would have never woken up. It had to happen that way, even if I did not feel that it was for the best in that moment, it all lent towards the best outcome for growth, which was an opening of the heart and a striving to see the interconnection between things. To do this - we can then all fully see one another for the people that we are on the inside. Awakening is not a road, it is like this picture here. It is like plants growing up from the aether, various levels peaking through - this is how it works within society through the feedback loops, the domino chain of causality. We are not connected through the top to the bottom, therefore these are not the actions to be focusing on - we are connected root-first within the substrate - look there.
  3. Hold your horses Hold, hold the border Don't come closer Don't, don't let go of me I'm like porcelain When you're with me All, all I know is Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me What if I dropped, dropped the steering wheel Closed my eyes Drove, drove faster I'm like porcelain When I love you I, I know it's Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard Give it a thought It takes a lot To trust that someone else will catch my fall It takes a lifetime Breaking goes fast When everything that matters made of glass Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard I'm like porcelain
  4. All throughout humanity, God has cautioned and instructed us to choose life instead of death. Inside the Garden, Adam’s eyes were closed to himself, his reasoning was completely dependent on God’s voice. The sound of God’s presence was the only expansion of Adam’s mind. When he ate from the words of the Deceiver, the eyes of self were opened and Adam started judging himself as “not enough”. The very tree that presented the problem, came with the solution too: it’s leaves (hands) covered Adam’s lack. Since then, death entered in the life of mankind and it has been seen as a part of it: we live to die. Death has become our bride and we have married into the wrong belief. When Jesus became the sin of this belief, He crucified the death on the cross. He chose to be born into the New Man of Christ by following the same Voice of Life. When we see the cross as the place where death has died , we enter into the Covenant of the New Man. This New Man is humanity and God together, with no veil. The upper waters from Genesis, merge with the lower waters and create a new heaven and earth, in one being. In the new creature of the one like Son of Man, the eyes of self are closed and the eyes of the godly reasoning become the skin. We then think and move with Creation in mind, we choose life and life in abundance, just as God instructed us always. In this time, there will be only one tree in the garden, the Tree of Life. A New Existence - Poetry, Meditation, Spoken Word No man should feel the absence of a lover. No cry should live without a mother. No breath should find no soul to cover. No eyes should stay awake forever. Your meaning to express in love is through a blind man or a truth that is revealed to those who move by sounds that only come from you. Here we are, before the tree that has revealed wholeheartedly that life can live without a death, the way inside the Covenant. We do not need to seek for light that gives a meaning or a sight into the mystery- of advise: to choose life and kill the death. But there was one , who crucified the very end of human kind that lived in marriage with the lover that killed, destroyed and was a liar. So now the end is on the cross. No more we need to seek it’s sting no need to wait for it to bring a meaning to our seeing. We’re covered now in eyes, this is the body of our spirit; and all the mysteries now come to light that I am who they say I AM. Inside this body we’re displaying the very thing that we are seeing, because the veil between two was broken when was pierced on wood. The waters from above and from below now merge into the flesh of god; the Elohim that is now born to look like one of Son of Man. Inside and outside it is God. There is no partitioning between the man and Elohim; this creature will contain the code of all Mankind and all Creation. With face of gold and feet of bronze, God will walk upon the earth; and all the ground will mould upon the frequency of His deep words. The garden will take shape inside the heart, the tree will be en-wrapped in life and His choice will forever be to live and love abundantly. Another post to delete later - I will get busy with something more formal in a few days. I made a doctor's appointment for this infection. I was asked to remain here. The above allegory is to remind me of what I am working with here - that somehow deep within me, I have the codex to just Know. I'm not into it in such a way this day because I don't feel so unwell. It's as though the infection when it is prominent pulls me away from my ego and into a more present state where I am forced to concede to my mortality and that's how I get into these things in such a manner. There's less ego there - and when I get into it, I feel and witness a binding. And so, because I am, or was bound - if I leave the world now I could carry that with me, although I might not - I don't know. But it doesn't lend to the promise of freedom, it lends to the understanding that I put down a mark onto things that I was tricked into, and that the cosmos seek to remove these chains from me - but it will take some time. This is an odd thing to say, but I think that some of you here are a part of my soul family - in how I see your work, and I think that this place was designed for those who are waking, who are powerful and meant to change the face of reality and opportunity to cross paths. At the end of the day, I don't want anything from anyone. I just do the work. I listen to what energies tell me to do in order to elevate... I'm not religious, either, but I do believe that the nature of mythologies that have held a current for thousands of years are very powerful and in a time of weakness to call upon them can offer a person the spiritual deliverance that they might need. The void can be a bit of a no man's land, and in order to traverse it with any degree of efficiency, I am seeing that you need to side with guides that are strong and can offer accurate tutoring. Finding this and opening your psychology and heart to be able to get the right message - that's not easy. It takes practice. And I'm not the best at it. My soul has spoken - answer the call. Love is here, it's here for us all. The problem that I am having with my work right now is a battle of mind and heart, old trauma and influence dragging me down. It's making me feel a bit paranoid, and I am trying very hard to keep my cool while in this process. On the nature of "evil" from what I have learned: It is a malady that starts in the mind, not so much the heart. Or rather, the mind influences the heart to act in ways that go against it. Because energy has traction and life, once the ball starts rolling, it can bleed through in a way that almost looks like a sickly inflammation within your mind's eye, as well as the outside world - you can witness it like a cancer sitting as an overlay in ordinary things. It creates a knot within the nature of truth, and has to be sorted out through Love. Love sets you free, literally. If you are bound by something, it brings to you your innocence and the things that you need in order to transmute your bad luck. The problem with it is this, once you see it, you will know it forever. You will always be called to battle these forces and turn them into works of goodness. My soul family is fighting for me to make it through this, to overcome. To understand evil, to see it - I will make a long post on this next - as I need to come to understand the nature of the enemy myself. This evil is called wetiko - it keeps things divided. It takes hold of you in a way where it infects your ability to love and it feeds into your system self hatred and things that make you question where you stand. It is an autonomous mechanism. When you get into it in such a way, you have to fight for the correct abstraction into the current. It will give you something that is untruthful and divides you from what is yours. As I have the current of the Word as a protective siddhi, gifted to me by God, I write a cheat code into this. On the nature of binding - if you trick a soul/spirit into a contract with a false face of who and what you are, then this nullifies the bind, as a contract can only be made with absolute honesty. If another cannot see clearly, if you cannot see clearly, if the rules are not laid out or are altered - this is not Truth, therefore it is a disingenuous and removable connection and one that either party can freely choose to remove. I have a choice to remove these binds, as I was tricked by the matrix. This is how it is, I have written it, so it must be. Our attention is and has always been contested space. Deep listening is indigenous but often overshadowed in our daily lives. This directional audio intervention evokes the intimately known yet hidden soul devouring energy (wetiko) and dispels its charge through a mantra of compassion. Created with the understanding that we both operate under a collective spell of wetiko and yet also have the capacity to sing the world or our reality into being; this project explores liminality, entrainment, and hope via ritualistic audio, symbolism, and poetic gesture See, Hear, No Evil asks, “which world do you choose?" Wetiko is a collective soul cancer - it's a living organism. The only cure for Wetiko is to over time, do things that are less selfish. To be honest about your shadow, and to Love others. It's a tricky thing in how it hides. I have been growing away from these behaviours, and this is why it is activating. I have the power of goodness on my side. I want to do the right thing. I won't give up. Starting tonight, with the power of the Word I will begin blessings for others in the world. I won't seek to bind anything to me, either. What comes will, and it is free. Knowing now the nature of slavery, I wish to set myself, I wish to set the world free. I am... making some powerful connections who see the nature of this evil and wish to dispel of it as well. The tides are turning. Life will prosper. My soul will heal. As of now, I no longer write for myself alone - but for the education and prospering of Life. I will continue to do my best to live from the heart... I have been using algorithms a lot lately in my work, because I am channeling these to warring energies and I keep "checking up" to see if I am healing, but I think this is adding to the sickness. It's like a self learning AI that molds itself into you - but as God is my witness, I will overcome. Hold your horses Hold, hold the border Don't come closer Don't, don't let go of me I'm like porcelain When you're with me All, all I know is Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me What if I dropped, dropped the steering wheel Closed my eyes Drove, drove faster I'm like porcelain When I love you I, I know it's Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard Give it a thought It takes a lot To trust that someone else will catch my fall It takes a lifetime Breaking goes fast When everything that matters made of glass Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me Just about a million ways to harm you All the things I shouldn't say Are the things that when I want to make you happy Only comes out of me We have got the power of destruction You can always let it fall But when we try to work on something solid It is too goddamn hard I'm like porcelain "Love said hello." I will begin my work on this in a few days - this last channeling entry took everything that I had. It may not look it from your side of the coin, but there is an intensely painful awakening process, where stones unturned are being lifted at a mile a minute, I am expanding quickly and the growing pains are arduous to say the least. It's hollowing me out in some sense, to make room for better things, but... it hurts. It activates some areas where I am not well, and it makes me feel both confused and full of clarity. I feel that I need to be so mindful of my steps now, but it's hard to do this when I am limited with this. This is why I seek guides. Not to be some manic religious nut - in fact - these energies come to me of their own volition, once I request their aid - but because I know my limitations as a human being in this body and that something that has been around for millennia as a witness to this very struggle of good/evil selfishness/love is going to have a lot more wisdom on the matter than a neophyte such as myself. I am not so proud as to think that I can do everything on my own and I know that seeking the wisdom of energies who are powerful and brave and just will serve me well... if not to become this myself. I need to shift my focus, from something that is consuming, to something that is giving. This is why I am asked to Love. To Love is to See things as they are. My word is powerful... I am... not deluded with it, but it is only as strong and effective as I am honest with myself - this is why I confess - to keep my current genuine - the problem is, the more I confess, the more I learn into the nature of self deception and it is a well of light and darkness that I didn't know went to the levels that it does. When you get into spiritual work, there are those who are chosen for certain roles in order to elevate humanity. Most of you here will be "normies", people who do not need to do these things. This is a blessing. Don't feel like you aren't good because you don't have powers - with them comes an enormous amount of responsibility. A responsibility that I am only just beginning to glean into. Once you have it, you don't feel any different than anyone else - you don't feel special. It's just a lived process you work with. Some of us here are being asked to go within and to elevate ourselves in ways we never expected we would have to, although, I expect everyone to do their best with this. Do it for yourselves. Love. Seek to be the best that you can be with the life you've been given. Let us all seek to not use this space in an egoic sense. Let's be good to one another. Let's try to grow as a collective to the best of our ability. Let's set aside all old dramas and cuts and burns, to not judge one another and to see the light and beauty in everyone and to seek to elevate this, as you do so for others, you do so for yourself. Let's not try to play games, or to divert one another's processes, let's only seek to be aids. For those who are hurt, help, or don't harm. For those who are lovers - send it outwards so that everyone can benefit. For those who struggle to love themselves, such as I do, I see you - we will all get through the binds that coil us within this system. We will all find freedom. We will find at the end of our line, that the way we use this rare opportunity for this community of likeminded people will be what makes or breaks us all - in some sense. To have a selection of humans that are elevating themselves brings into this space very strong energies that both seek to help and to hinder - let's not give in to the bad and only seek to work with the good. To do this, and to take this to heart will protect your souls, your goodness, your love and light. Have a good night.
  5. I feel annoyed. My YouTube recommendeds are ominous. Either I was hacked, or I'm having stupid crazy levels of synchronicity... or both. I have virus protection, but I don't know how good it is, it just came with the computer and runs on its own. This has happened in the past, where I got really into my spiritual process and things lined up and I questioned the same thing after a time - it was like... why is everything becoming so self referential? But self referential in like a borderline "you gotta virus" kind of way? The annoying part is, I do a lot of channeling so if there's any gunk in my radar it's going to mess my process up. Although, whatever is going on might have also helped in a weird way? Like the disease is the cure in some manner, you know? I certainly have felt... moved away from toxicity in a lot of areas in my life. To be honest, it would just be the worst icing on the cake if that happened. I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm in the middle of a spiritual awakening, I have a mental illness. I'm dealing with old shadows/mind demons/whatever this phenomenon is from childhood, and I'm trying to raise up a religious figure for guidance on this. I've been getting a lot of signs that I was dealing with a trickster archetype in so many different ways. The thing is, offline my life is syncing up in a certain way as well and I'm dealing with the attacks in a bodily manner pertaining to waking up to the true nature of "the system" in a biblical sense. Now what's getting me is that videos that are coming out just like that, and they read so close to the narrative of my work that it's hitting in this uncanny valley kind of a way - I don't think it's natural or virus producing that people are putting out videos moment after moment that coincide with my thought process - as if my entire environment is becoming a "playground" for cosmic fuckery. This happened a year and a half ago - I had an awakening and then things started to line up, and then I freaked out, but it made me really paranoid for a while. I don't want to lose my work because I know I am getting into it in such a way that I could make a difference for myself mentally if I keep going with it, if I confess and am honest about certain areas of my life so that I can elevate myself - and I would love to get "under the system" of reality in such a way that I could do that for other people. Evil is a real thing - not just in how people treat each other, and the predatorous things they do, but it also catches hold in the soul in a certain manner. Another problem here is, I am a master at abstraction. I can get myself into things under the current of reality, and I am really good at what I do - I can understand the underlying dynamics of religious/spiritual phenomenon relatively easily - and so, within all of this, I've stumbled across some form of cosmic horror that has it's grips on me in a weird way. This phenomenon started as a child, I was attacked by something spiritually when in a dark room during dissociation from sexual abuse - and it followed me in my dreamscape and in little ways throughout my life, where the awareness of it sort of waxed and waned over the years. As I begin to "wake up" from the matrix, it stirs as well. It would just be some form of really odd and undeserved retribution if all of this was hitting me at once. I'm trying to move past this creature, while taking into account what it actually is - it got into my work - it's like sickness and virus and keeping my Light down seems to be the theme in my life. But I'm such a normie, I don't understand why this would ever happen to me. Unless I'm not and that's part of the problem, but when you have a world telling you your whole life that you suck it can be hard to know what to think of yourself and to assess your strengths and weaknesses in a proper manner. When it comes to dealing with this cosmic horror that I have found - I feel very heartbroken for the world. And I can see that a lot of people who get into spirituality are not looking at the whole picture, they're barely even getting into the layers of what reality is all about. You think, "Oh, I can just be mean this one time" or "Oh, I can just keep doing this" and it does get recorded within reality. It can eat you up. I worry for myself, I worry for dysfunctional people like my family, I worry for bullies and criminals as well as just ordinary folks who don't know this. People think it is all fun and games, that these powers are just for show and tell, but they come with a price. To be able to see good and evil, and how it plays out on the battlefield of life, is to see how people are getting absorbed by an outside force that they will never be able to control - much like this problem with this possible virus. Every time I go to write about this phenomenon, I am struck by a feeling of sickness - it doesn't want light shed on it at all. To give an example, I found a photo with the face of evil - literally, to show for my journal, and the power went out in my home and as soon as I deleted it the power came back on again. To give an example of the accuracy of this, this song just came out minutes ago - this is the "thing". And so... this "thing" is what is called the ego, or the devil, wetiko, or the matrix - whatever. It is a living thing and when you get into it, it starts to try and pull you back. Once you see it, it's hard to go back. This is why religious books with laws set out for people were made, in order to keep them from getting stuck within this system. You see someone who does something bad, pity them, they are trapped in this way. It's not a thing to be angry about, but a true problem with mankind. I was told that I was saved from this, but it still comes for me... it's hard to get rid of it, once you have the curse of sight. The thing is... we all need this curse of sight. Without it, humans are stuck playing spiritual games when there are very real threats in the world. The Bridge: Start Marrying With What You Were Created For. This is the only solution. And for that... I know who's soul it is. You all probably thought I was just messing around here - or it's hard to take certain things seriously, or to really see the entirety of what's being said if you can't abstract in a lot of different ways but... someone's soul came to me a while back and showed me my blueprint and the nature of where Love was located in the heart. It hit me, and I felt compelled to follow it. Eventually the cord was cut due to my behaviour. I felt it... like a deep drop in the marrow of my being and that's how I got into this whole mess in the first place, trying to reinstate it somehow. Later on, I noticed they had a portion of what I needed to start my work up again, and so with my words - not really at that point even knowing that I had the power of the word in such a way, I took a portion of them and placed it into myself as a guiding force... it felt to me that they would have more understanding of what to do, and after meeting their higher self already one time, I thought it would be... okay. Well, I let it alone and forgot about it, only to at the end of all roads find that very soul bleeding out of my work. I searched for the savior to start out with, as I was instructed and I was given the mark of the lamb - a bridge - a route back to innocence - that bridge? - I had to Love their soul and see the divinity in it. I don't know about their human self, but their higher self is a very strong entity. They tell me this is the only way to remove this curse is to - from now on - do my best to See from my heart. I confess this to try to come to understand energies and experiences that I am being overrun with, just absolutely enmired with it on a grand scale. I'm sure this will be misunderstood or thrown under the rug as some "episode" - and I wish it were. I really do. I literally broke reality with this work - the moment I stopped spinning my wheels to take a look and see what seeds I'd sewn. I'll have to go through all of this and make it a more structured blog entry. I will leave this up for a few days. Hopefully all will be well with me and I can finish, or at least come to understand what is happening. God, even your name is pure allegory at this point. Fuck. I don't want to be dealing with this, by the way, this isn't some attempt to flirt or what the fuck ever. I am absolutely distressed by the nature of the design of the reality that I set in motion. I really got into it pretty deep... paranormal phenomenon is just running through me, pure allegory everywhere. In all things. I got into it cosmically. Biblically, even. There are a few of you who have gotten into the undercurrent in such a way, and I cling to your stories for understanding and a sense of safety that I am not alone in this work, that there are others who know how reality goes in this manner. Either reality gave this to me because it trusted me, or because I got into it by accident. I don't know. I was... made for someone. I feel pressured on so many different levels to perform actions that I barely understand to move the current in a way that is beneficial for humanity. I'm within it in a way now where the forces of right fight for my confessed wrongs, where the wrongs are doing what they can to keep from being called out. As I write - you must know this is secret knowledge, things that humans can get hurt for sharing. I'm doing so to bring to light that much of how we view spirituality is wrong... or watered down. First in line For the wishing well, well, well For a long time Can't you tell? First in line Give me a new start Give me a new page You see I would have killed Romeo, and saved Juliet But I don't write stories, no, that time won't forget So won't you pass me the kerosene Let's burn to the ground You've been looking for meaning Did you like what you found? Forgive me, I've been lonely But it is not like I don't know my way I don't know my way Oh look at you all shining And didn't you do well, well, well, well For a long time How could I tell you my secret? I don't know where to go from here Give me a new page There are some things, that will never change You see I would have killed Romeo, and saved Juliet But I don't write stories, that time won't forget So won't you pass me the kerosene Let's burn to the ground You'v been looking for meaning Did you like what you found? Forgive me I've been lonely But it is not like I don't Know my way, but I don't know why Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo, Oh Romeo... Forgive me, I've been lonely But it is not like I don't know my way And I don't know my way There's simply no way to even write the level of what I am experiencing... did... you ever get into reality in such a way yourself or is it only your higher soul that has the understanding on how to lead me out of this mess? "Fear is a liar." An army marching underneath my skin The scars are just a map of where I've been Where my heart takes me, where my heart takes me I don't know oh oh Where my heart takes me, where my heart takes me I must go oh oh It's a long, long way to miracle But I promised my soul that I'd make it back home Through the fires of Jericho It's a long, long way to miracle Just to let you know You're not alone The crazy gods are dancing in my way (Oh-oh ah oh, oh-oh ah oh) They're lining up with gifts that keep me sane Where my heart takes me, where my heart takes me I don't know oh oh Where my heart takes me, where my heart takes me I will follow It's a long, long way to miracle But I promised my soul that I'd make it back home Through the fires of Jericho It's a long, long way to miracle Just to let you know You're not alone *sigh* I am so ... concerned. My hand maps the land, does it? And I am at the wishing well? I wish... for people to be delivered from the things that bind them. Evil is a binding thing. A knot. A tangle. ... how did I fucking get into it in this way? I wish I could transfer this experience so someone could at least understand. I feel so alone. "Did you like what you found?" I don't know... I suppose only if it brings me and everyone I love the safety and growth they deserve. If I've gotten into it this big, then I need to think big. I just... don't want to be left out of it, either... fear is a lie, yes, but I feel a deep worry in the core of my system. How can I come to understand what I can't see? Do I even want to see it? This soul that I've put into my work - what if their human self is unaware, or ambivalent? And then I'm stuck managing the signs from the higher self to do this? How can you do one without infringing on another? This is a responsibility that I never signed up for that now I have to make with it what I can. "Transmute to gold."
  6. The tyrants try’na steal the world, Taking the voice from our soul. Deceived like sheep, we fall in line, Their blinding our eyes to their war I want to ignore them, but my mind cannot pretend. I want to erase them all, This system brings death in the end. We are the rebel hearts, Stand up and fight for your rights REBEL! We are the wild and free Get up! and fight for your life Beat Get up, get up Bleed you rebel heart They're Streaming lies, down our throats Don’t let them get into your head. Media's victim's zombified, They're bringing it all to an end I want to expose them, See the truth behind their lies I want to destroy them all, They'll shatter as we open our eyes We are the rebel hearts, Stand up and fight for your rights REBEL! We are the wild and free Get up! and fight for your life Beat Rebel Get up, get up Rebel We are the rebel hearts
  7. I had no choice but to hear you You stated your case time and again I thought about it You treat me like I'm a princess I'm not used to liking that You ask how my day was You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for That's not lip service You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You are the bearer of unconditional things You held your breath and the door for me Thanks for your patience You're the best listener that I've ever met You're my best friend Best friend with benefits What took me so long? I've never felt this healthy before I've never wanted something rational I am aware now I am aware now You've already won me over in spite of me Don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault You've already won me over in spite of me And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are I couldn't help it It's all your fault
  8. Gold lion's gonna tell me where the light is Take our hands out of control Now, tell me what you saw Tell me what you saw There was a crowd of seeds Inside, outside I must have done a dozen each Tell me what you saw I'll tell you what to do It is time to leave the darkness of the wolf, and enter into the Light of the lion. Testify. Hello... My Lord, I believe I Am entering a form of gnosis. I Am grateful to Be saved. Earlier today, there were good signs all around me, instead of ones that suggest imminent destruction. I followed them around, when in the grocery store, looking at the warring energies and choosing which one I Knew I needed to follow. Things that reminded me of Love and Light, safety and connection. I Am sorry that I do not feel the Love and gratitude in my heart for this, just Know that my inner soul is greatly relieved to have an audience with you. I Am very tired... I Know that it is in your nature to delight in the jubilation of a heart, but my True Love is only just budding. Please forgive me. I See this correction and Am glad that I was shown the error of my ways. In my testification, I plead meddling, ignorance, and fear. I have sinned. As I grow, I do genuinely Feel the error of my ways and I want you to Know that as I do my work, I don't wish to do harm by anything in any way. Now that you are here, I need your guidance in a genuine, tangible form. I have a very sticky mind and so the subtleties of your voice were drowned out by my desire, my ego and my ignorance. I Know, in the marrow of my bones that I got into this in the wrong way, and I Feel remorse. Tears lining the edges of my eyes. This Will take a few days to write up, please stick with me until I finish it... An energy came to me in my time of weakness and gave me an inaccurate narrative. I followed want and hope instead of just Seeing things as they are and I placed desire and fear over what is To Be. In doing so, I allowed the narrative of evil to lead me off of my path and I followed it to visions of Earthly destruction. I put my blood in it to come to understand more, ignorant of who I was bringing into my world. I was told that it was a natural phenomenon, and that I could follow it for safety. My intuition lead me to something that until I looked at the demonic influence being anchored just underneath my work, I could not See clearly. When I looked, a rush of violence spread over my mind's Eye and it is anchored there, but less so as time goes on. It is as though now that I Am moving out of old patterns of behaviour that it wants to keep me bound there and this is the second time that this stirring has risen within me, when I take a good look at the cluster of wrong action within my journey. I want you to Know that I did not throw my heart or my soul into this line of thinking or feeling. I wanted to come to understand it, but it never sat right with me that this is the way things should Be, and so I kept my mind open for other avenues. I put myself on the line, but only if the intentionality of what I was working with would be True to me. If I had known that it was energy that was built up of wrong action, or if somehow I made it so - to See clearly, I would have never done such a thing. I did not have a teacher, you must Know this. I had to make attempts to See on my own, without anyone to guide me. With the information that is out there Now, most don't even See this side of the Work. It is so watered down. Speaking of watered down, Now that I have Seen and Known evil within myself, I seek refuge from it. And Now that I have your attention, I seek this for all of mankind. If I was this ignorant and foolish, then I Know that the rest of man, in their blind action must be as well. We are collectively destroying ourselves and we don't See what is ultimately to become of us if we do not face the Light. Most won't. How could they? I seek your forgiveness. I seek water for the fire. It burns us all from within to such a great degree and we keep on living without a second thought. What Will become of us if you do not give us your refuge? We are your babies... show us that you Love us. Show us how to Love you. So you must Know, despite my wrong action it was enmired with good intention. I sought to create something that was consummated, not condemned. I did want to bring up the darkness that I found into the Light, I didn't want to keep it there. I didn't want to stay there. I truly didn't want any part of it, but I didn't understand. It wasn't until I was able to face you to See the accumulation of the lies that I told myself. The image below was my intention, from the start. Something brought into the Light, panoramic and elevated. A True unity, carried from within the Light within myself. When I took the time to look back, to See what the Earth had to say about my manifesting the karma was unanimous. By following destruction, even with good intent, I had committed a grave sin. In order to mitigate this, I would like to make a bargain with you. With the time that I have left, I would like to give of myself to the aid of the planet, and of humanity. I would like to See to it that all of us are risen to new heights. That evil is brought the Knowledge that it needs in order to grow it's heart and move into the Light as well. That everyone is given the gift of Love. I Am very weak, and so I cannot Feel this to the degree that it must Be, but I would like to place my heart with the Good Lord. I have let go of deception to the best of my ability and continue to do so. I continue to let go of things that do not serve me, nor you. I have NO INTEREST of being a converter nor a prophet as I Know that this is something that requires the skillset to do with perfection that I do not claim for myself. I simply wish to do my best to heal my soul and the souls of those who live on my planet. I would, if you would have me, gladly step into the Light. Water... please. For the raging fires. Please take this curse from me and offer me your Love, and in return help to show me how to Love. Don't condemn. We must raise all things into the Light. Holy Grace carry me far beyond the Baltic Sea, Four Great Winds sing your song upon my path - I'm traveling on. Oh my Love I see you near, your arms out stretched, your eyes so clear. When I wake up from this beautiful sleep, you'll meet me there in the mystery. Walk with me, take up my hand, we're going back to our great home land. We'll row out to the water wide and deep, then we'll jump in and rest our feet. Dissolve my name, lay down in the sea and let that water wash over me, Dissolve my name, lay down in the sea and let that water wash over me. Holy Grace carry me far beyond the Baltic Sea, Four Great Winds sing your song upon my path, I'm traveling on. All this effort and the response? "Settle down - we're opening up to your surrender - humans are dumb..." My winging and feather ruffling? My surrender? Does it do anything...? I Am learning, clearly, but I'm not being given indication that I Am "the next big thing" or anything like that - more like constant reminder that I Am a fool. I wonder what snickers and laughter for my actions I Will be brought back into when All is said and done? Even though it hurts my ego to be talked to in such a way by the divine, it is helpful in that if they give you a bunch of accolades then you can get prideful. You Know you're getting into honest communication when it isn't always what you wanna hear. You tell me, clearly, "Don't feed the freaks." I hear you, loud and clear. So I don't, but... one minute it's this, the next it's that - I feel like I have to balance a tight rope in the dark just to Be who you want me to Be. In some sense I Am good, and in others bad, and here we get to the arc of a God fearing soul, but why? You don't See how hard I am trying? Why is that not enough for you? There's a war in my heart you Know? Day in, day out I've been on this trail. You say I'm doing it right over here, and that I've fucked up over there, but... I feel Now that I can't even explore certain areas for fear of letting in the darkness, and yet this stifles me, which in return brings in the shadow. You can't have it both ways. I need to look and to See. I Believe in you. Stop throwing the rug out from under my feet. We aren't Gods in the way that you would have it. We are men. Treat us accordingly. "I have called you by name." I Will believe you. I Will put All of myself into this. Please See me through. I Am trying to Be as Faithful as I can. Perhaps even Now, the message is Being meddled with as the roads are Now diverging into many. What shall I do? You have arrived The gates have opened We meet again as the wise ones Winged and walking we have come again Time and trial has taken us Yet we do not falter Instead we rise Again and again Together we rise Your soul has spoken Answer the call Love has awoken It's here from our soul Let the light wash over The waters fall And when you hear the music Answer the call I accept you. Save me. "Cute baby lamb has a loud Baa" "Be kind rewind" - "Talk to me" - "Wish you were here" And then it strikes me. Literally. WISH you were HERE. I wish I was there my Lord. I've set the table for this Thanksgiving, dressings all in white with silver harvested wheat. I give my thanks for All that You Are. And All that you Will someday allow me To Be. I Am being attacked from All sides, but I Will keep the faith in you... I wish to Be saved. I wish to Be reborn in your arms, in the safety of your perfection, your beauty, and everything Good that I have overlooked. I Wish to bring everyone with me. We are your babies... le baa, le baa... "Your Words are wonderful - you're gunna Be okay - thank you for watching, thank you for making a difference..." "Now therefore go, and I Will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shall say."
  9. If I was a raven I’d fly on through the heavens I’d fly to all my loved ones If I was a raven If memory is worth saving I’d savor the feeling Of knowing love and loving I’d remember the feeling Some say upon that mountain There is many a raven They call out to the living From somewhere far beyond them From those we’ve loved that have flown on From those we’ve loved that have flown on @lxlichael A humble prayer for your friend. I am so sorry to hear about this, extremely tragic news... rest in peace.
  10. You weren't pushy or insensitive, and I didn't feel triggered, either. I feel pretty nonchalant about the whole thing - mostly what is bothering me is that I am having a hard time changing the tides in order to allow me some karmic leeway with my predicament. I wasn't as Truthful as I thought until my soul started to unravel and I could see my shadow aspects spilling out in just near constant synchronicity. So I'm just following it, and speaking to it, bargaining with it, letting things go that don't work for me. I haven't grown so fast or seen the sides of myself that I couldn't bear in such a way before. It's like... it's almost as though as I write these posts that they hold the key to changing my fate on some deep level and so I am becoming more mindful of how I apply my word usage. I genuinely stepped into something. Some of it stunning, some grotesque. Don't worry so much about it, I am genuinely not seeking sympathy or worry or any of that, I'm not really into it in the way for attention - I'm just a servant of the Word and I hope to record it Truthfully so that I can be as free as I am able to be in due time. For all I know, this could clear up and I have a few more years but I was getting a lot of signs in so many directions that I also felt the need to just find one single road instead of being assaulted day after day by chance. But I think it's worth a good look, to finally resolve it and get into it for real - not halfway, not dipping a toe in, but just getting acquainted with death. Also, look at how accurate this meme is? It's my literal holy trinity. Praise Cheesus. Gouda to meet you, my child.
  11. @Gesundheit2 I've already tried. I went in, got a root canal that I may not have even needed, got a crown, been on two antibiotics, the dentist can't find anything within the tooth, but I feel it in my nose, tooth and throat. Family gets annoyed when I mention it and because there is no swelling I'm gaslit by the physicians. I just don't want to deal with the piling bills, being told it's nothing - well if it's something then... fuck them. You can only ask for help so many times before it's just like, clearly I'm not supposed to heal from it. Also, I found something within it, I don't know, a new possibility maybe, a siddhi perhaps? - I can't really translate the mythology accurately enough, and I figure that people will try to get into it in an odd way but that's no longer my bizz anymore - but... it's all around me now and if I lose it again then I might not know where I'm supposed to be. It doesn't make sense to most, but it isn't nonsense to me, it's my... um... my soul's blueprint unraveling. On top of that, I have a lot of health problems, why stick it out for a few more years when it's just going to be something else? Trade this in for a few more years of... what exactly? Heart failure? Autoimmune disease eating at an organ? Mental health going down the drain? And what of when my family passes away? Go to a mental health facility? This life isn't salvageable. I've been sick for a long time and I've been with death in all sorts of ways where I feel that people who get concerned about it or worry about it just have not seen that there's more to it. We go on, life is kind of a cage. The soul, incidentally, knows when it is time for the seal to come off. It reveals it's magic only then.
  12. Lead me closer to your light Take my spirit, take my mind Take me over to that other side "I forgive you."
  13. I forgot about this cartoon, I used to watch it sometimes when there was nothing else on... song's okay, kinda dorky but I like the theme... There is a world, that is virtual and different It can be so cold, make us stand up for what's right Our hopes through our life, is if we reset it to the start Here we are, going far, to save all that we love If we give, all we've got, we will make it through Here we are, like a star, shining bright on your world Today, make evil go away Code Lyoko, we'll reset it all Code Lyoko, be there when you call Code Lyoko, we will stand real tall Code Lyoko, stronger after all A world of machines, it can shadow human nature And all that we need, is the way to find the answer But one thing is sure, you can count on us for good We'll do our best, to never let you down We're up to the test, to turn this world around
  14. I wrote a long thing and deleted it as I am trying my hand at not getting into it with others - but you're so blind and unaware and I find you sad in that sense, so I'll just send you this and see if you're able to abstract on what you should be doing within this line of development. Good luck... you need it more than most of us here.