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Friday 18/11/2021 22:10 If my anxiety fades a bit, what I'm left with is a bit of an indifference to life or death, I suppose. I'm not in a rush to kill myself, and neither do I desire to. They talk about there being intrinsic fear, which I seem to have internalised in habits, but the habits look unreal to me from this POV as a role which could be broken, I just lack motivation. Silence and book can be my companion, maybe walking tomorrow. I have no need for food today but I could very well eat I'm not sure about the extent of my "transformation". I get a gentle smile from life somehow. I've probably been living with eyes closed for a while, unwilling to leave my hole despite inner realisations A long way to go

Lol no sorry I don't get the three cups reference. I don't believe the thought is perception. I know the word simply refers to something that I perceive. I look around and I perceive what I CALL change. I perceive what I call old people and young people. The word refers to something real that I perceive though. And baby to old person is called change or transformation but certainly not No change.

In my own journey, I've found there is a direct relationship between how much I love myself and how needy I am for the love of others.... I don't think there's a silver bullet - it takes time and work and more time and more work, but real transformation is indeed possible... before I could really start to grow and change, I had to face up to and own the fact that, on a deep level, I hated myself... it sounds severe, I know, but I had to face the truth before I could move forward... I wish you (self) love and healing my friend...

Whenever you are facing adversity, whenever things seem to work against you, ask yourself: 'how is this perfect?' You don't have to pretend like you see it, nor do you have to seek for it. You just have to be truly curious. Really feel into that question. Keep asking, over and over again. You will not get an answer. But you might just become directly conscious of how perfect everything is. How literally everything is only assisting you in your highest evolution and greatest transformation. Not a single thing happens without it being meant to help you. Everything is happening for you to awaken to and out of it. To awaken as the highest you there is. To awaken as All. If it's happening, it's happening not only for a reason and with a specific purpose, but because it is absolutely necessary for it to be happening. It cannot help itself. It is happening because you are unconditionally loved and supported. No matter how dark and heavy it gets, everything is only pointing towards The Light, that you are now. Everything is always perfect. Always has been and always will be. Perfect balance. Reflection. Symmetry. Synchronicity. Alignment. Harmony. Resonance. You cannot help yourself but be utterly perfect. You are so perfect, perfection doesn't even make sense. All the mistakes you perceive, the errors, the unfortunes, the struggle... it's all a work of a mastermind. And it's beautiful. A true masterpiece. You are imagining contrast, so you'd become conscious that there is nothing but Light here. Nothing but perfection.

No shit. What I tried to say was that if he only got views I doubt the transformation would be this drastic. I love it..

It's not just about sex. Actually very little. It's more about the significant personal transformation that occurs when a man does a lot of serious cold approach and socialising. A part of that man dies and a newer, stronger more masculine individual is created. It's almost like a right of passage into manhood if taken seriously. The sex is a small by-product of the process. Most guys are just happy to get a bit of attention and validation from a female.

I can speak for myself that if you do an authentic high quality practice like isha yoga and not some youtube cowdung, all these things like depression, anxiety, insomnia will go away. I'm saying this, because I used to be depressed and suicidal 24/7 some years ago. And today I can't even remember when I had a bad day or a bad sleep. Life is easy, your problem is you're looking for solutions in the wrong place, you do some stupid nonsence and then expect results to come. No, unless you do the right things, rights thinga won't happen to you. I recommend people if they're serious about their own wellbeing to find a high quality tools for their transformation instead of listening to false teachers and teachings that are roaming the entire internet space today. Regards ❤?

Insane visuals for half a tab. I've got that highly connected ADHD brain or something making me super sensitive to these substances. Note: When doing my research, this was by far one of the most helpful trip reports because this girl compared and contrasted her experience with psilocybin. The psychonaught wiki was also my main source for cataloging the long laundry list of visuals you can get on LSD. Super helpful to help prepare me for the trip. October 30th 2021 Dose: About 50mcg, half a tab. Route of Administration: Sublingually. Intentions: - What is Clarity? - Self inquiry. - Getting introduced to LSD. Taken sublingually at 9:00am First 20 minutes. Start dancing to boost my state. - Alejandro by Lady Gaga - Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez LEOO you gotta add this song to your playlist: - Dancing on my own by Robyn Feeling excited. I feel like it's gonna hit me when I least expect it lol. 30-40 mins Been sitting for awhile, pretty bored. A bit of yawning? A bit of nausea? Maybe? 47 mins Anxiety in chest? Mom calls me, giggles. She's my trip sitter. Something is shifting. 50 minutes A bit of nausea in the stomach Loss of focus. 57 minutes Lying on the floor with my dog, waiting for something cool to happen. Kind of bored. 1h 5min Maybe a bit of pattern recognition. Feeling slow. Breathing couch Flattening visuals. The couch and pillows are one surface. Perspective distortions. Just feel funny. Been feeling very sluggish. Clarity is the ability to see through reality. >Probably the only thing I got from this intention lol, I've already contemplated what clarity was for several hour beforehand sober. 1h 18 min Tired af, yawning af Blurred vision. Seeing colours around my phone keyboard letters. Just noticed I'm being taken under now. 1h 30 min Visuals, patterns in the snow on the tarp EXACTLY like those tree Visuals. Feel like I'm in the middle of a sleep. Giggles. Good body high. 1h 30 Visuals. Vibration. Body is vibrating. Teeth chattering. Lots of giggles. I perceive the house differently. Each space is its own room. Each spot of the room becomes its own corner of reality. 1h 41min In a really good mood. Blurred movement. >> Tracers on everyone walking around me. Visual example. When I look at my mothers face I see tracers pulsating outwards from each wrinkle on her face. Pulsating tracers on pretty much everything. Salivation. 1h 50 min Super comfortable, yet asleep, yet awake. Half in Reality, half out. Half in my head, half in conventional physical reality. Increased vision for detail. Super easy to be distracted. Super free to easily contemplate. 2h Kicked in. >I look at my arm, and the hairs on my arm are dancing to the music. > I think at around here I went for a walk with my mom, walking my dogs, and we were looking at the gorgeous mountain views. Nice and sunny, nice nippy cold, blue skies, trees everywhere, late fall season, greens and oranges and blues and golden yellows. I got this wicked holistic insight. Where I saw reality as this context-less amalgamation of evolution, and how I was just a part of that. I imagined myself as an eyeball growing out of the ground like a plant to look at myself. I saw reality from a perspective free from the several stories we tell ourselves to ground our reality in, and reality felt like a funky dream that was like walking in the dream world from the video game Tak 2. It felt like Minecraft pre-classic. Minecraft version rd-132211. I was FILLED with wonder about how strange reality actually is. This was probably the BEST part of my trip. Looking out at the mountains, realizing how mysterious it was that all of this was there. It was all consciousness, it was all foreign, it was raw. Raw reality is the most beautiful. I got a tiny hint of what it would feel like to realize that I created that mountain. >Later I look at my face in the mirror When I get home, and I see patterning on my face, my face is melting, I see a man stretched out like a starfish on my nose like mermaid man's nose cover. I see objects stretching. >Just a funny thing to add in. At some point here I went to take a piss and I looked down, I saw the toilet slanted af, it was very difficult to trust that I'm aiming properly in the toiler because I was getting so much pulsing tracers moving the toilet and not letting see a solid bowl that doesn't move that I can aim into. I look at my belly and I feel like a small vulnerable creature, extremely small and vulnerable. I look at my penis and its really fuckin small. I'm just like "Damn really?". I was thinking about things with in regards to exploring my sexuality, making me feel vulnerable as fuck, and I was like, "I am not thinking about this right now." Later... 3h17min >Around here I end up throwing my entire trip. I fucked up by having someone message me over some stupid thing that I was selling and the dude wouldn't stop bothering me for it. But what ended up happening is that became my entire reality. I felt like my strings were being pulled like I was a marionette doll. Like my consciousness was being wrapped down in vines. It snowballed and became such a huge thing so fast. My body was tense and stressed. I was deep in the quicksand, deep in the mud, deep in the tar, 6 feet under. I was super frustrated that this threw me off so much. >So this was a great learning experience in learning how to control and manage a trip going sour. I changed my environment, I walked into different rooms, etc. I managed to deal with it while on acid, and resolved the issue by letting go of the buyer, transferring the 10 bucks back, blah blah blah. Haha not fucking worth the 10 bucks. Jesus Christ. >Reality was trying to give me a warning shot. To make sure that I have EVERYTHING under control for future trips I video call @Aaron p , and he's lobotomized on 300mcg of LSD. I end up laughing so much at his inability to formulate sentences that I literally fall out of my chair and start to roll on the floor laughing. Aaron is on YouTube watching Ali g skits. "Bro let's play rocket league." I laughed so much I managed to save myself from the trip. Completely shifted the mood. Thanks Aaron. The only thing that exists is what's in your direct Consciousness. Everything else is maps, of what you think exist. Second order reality, doesn't exist right now. >I need to understand what Leo means exactly when he says first order reality and second order reality. >My vision becomes blurry, especially my left eye, it's like my eyes stop working properly. I put on my prescription sunglasses to sharpen my vision. I stare at my hand, and I experience magnification on my hand, I see the cracks in my knuckles in my skin. I see every fine little detail, it becomes HD, then 4k, then 8k. Then I see another hand in the completely opposite direction overlaid on my own hand. I'm gonna have my glasses available to me going forward. 5h 12 min Having trouble to sit down and focus. So distracted the whole trip. >I look at my hand, and the birthmark on my finger sneaked around to the other side. >I look at my curtain with a pattern flower design on it and the patters start to break apart and move in all directions along the curtain. First order reality, second order reality The difference between them is a spectrum. > Your first order reality bubble renders in from your second order reality map (?) I still don't understand the difference between first order reality and second-order reality. If I learn a million things about God, I'll be able to find God himself. > Basically describing my insight on how doing all of this consciousness work eventually adds up to enlightenment. I understand that my reality is constructed by stories. 6h When I'm selfish I suffer. What you haven't let go will cause a bigger snowball down the road. If I let go of everything I will do nothing. ---------- Earplugs help a lot with Consciousness work. And they help a lot with an LSD trip. Transformation visuals. The ceiling fan was stretching, moving, shrinking. All of my attachments are distracting me from doing Consciousness work. Having nobody to rely on me is great. Because it can get ugly when people rely on me for things that are outside of my conscious control. >Thinking about the bigger lesson of what the fuck just happened with the situation that threw off my trip earlier. Even though I ended up distracting myself away from it, it ended up lingering for me for the rest of the trip. I was out of the tar pit but I still had the tar on me. LSD is more focussed than psilocybin BUT, you still have to focus. LSD is very distracting. >You're in the drivers street but you have to still drive a bus with only two wheels on it. I think I understand what vision logic is. Vision logic is my Consciousness's way of understanding reality beyond words, but through images. Life is the biggest drama movie. The happiest man is the one who can surf all the waves at once. Becoming more conscious, taking care of your survival, taking care of your desire for relationships, taking care of your desire for sex. >Surfing all of the waves, integrating it all. Becoming the centaur. For a self to have a purpose, that is a construct that is created out of the construct of the self. The self is a construct. A purpose is a construct. As long as you believe you exist you will believe that you have a purpose. Purpose hinges on the construct of the self. Your purpose hinges on the fact that you exist. And that "fact" itself IS a construct. Everything needs to be controlled to have a good LSD trip. You can't have anybody messaging you about anything. That WILL throw your entire trip off. Even if your phone is on do not disturb. If it enters your consciousness, it will infect it totally. In TOTAL. A TOTAL INFECTION into your consciousness. When there's nothing to do, you just sit and bask with yourself, forever. At some point, I was having a small intuition into how reality transforming a psychedelic trip can have. How it's more total than you think. Sharing experience is what motivates. Share my struggle to motivate other people. The Paradox of showing my struggle to motivate other people through their struggle. And me doing that is what gets me out of my struggle. (Being a self-improvement teacher. I need to be friends with people running their own business to understand what I need to do to get my business. >I need to just understand the exact monetization steps to set up a website and to setup a product you can check out, learn how to run a well-targeted ad. Learning that will take the barriers away from getting my business of the ground. An insight is the ability to articulate something out of the confusion. Something out of the confusion WHILE in the LSD trip. I saw how man evolves their language to understand what's going on. I must evolve my language to understand what's going on. I need to build an existential vocabulary. Look at Leo's episode for that. Understand all the words he lists and the combination of knowing them all will increase your consciousness. Could you hypnotize yourself into understanding God? Make steps such that everything that enters my consciousness is aiding towards increasing my consciousness. >Proper environment design. Only making the right choices to do the right things. Does the past exist? Like evolution to get us here? is that second order reality? I'm glad I did shrooms first. I get EVERY visual on LSD. So working myself up to a moderate dose of shrooms helped prepare me massively for this trip. Because as Leo says understanding that your God is merely just a process of opening the mind. I understand that now. - Listen to Leo's guided exercise to realizing you're God audio while on LSD. A high Consciousness person is able to understand all of the constructs operating in his mind. But he keeps them there to aid in his survival. A super conscious person dies, but the physical brain and body being rigid will keep your body alive. I'm becoming conscious of several reality constructs. I can see with more trips and on substances like 5meo, how all of these constructs will fall away. You need to find out what works for you when tripping. Psychedelics wipe your context. Your context is what you ground your reality in. Leo needs a video on context itself. Does he have one? Not the recontextualization episode. Talking about how your reality is grounded in context. Yawning is a sign of something shifting in your brain. Which is why you yawn when the psychedelic is activating. Business idea Family stories catalog where tv shows can pick from them and put them in their skits for their sitcoms and whatnot. Like a steam asset store for writing stories for your tv shows. Hide my phone while tripping. Or turn off all notifications that could possibly fuck with my trip, such that I can't even SEE the messages when I look at the top pulldown tab. Then turn it all back on after my trip ends the next day. so write down somewhere all the things I've blocked. Or just hide my phone and just use my laptop on the wifi. You need a few gurus 1. Conscious as fuck for increasing your consciousness, create a map of reality so you can navigate in it. 2. School of hard knocks so you can get to work taking care of your survival needs. 3. Therapist, love, makes you feel good For example 1. Leo 2. Gary Vee / Alex Becker 3. Ralph Smart / Wayne Dyer You need multiple different perspective sources for your learning and benifit. I experienced tons of stories and scenarios throughout the entire trip. Which is why earlier I said each space feels like its own room. I'm going to start thinking about how my present actions will snowball into the future. Even the small things. I learned just how much your mind creates scenarios. And how much it takes over your emotions and how it feels. That's what's swimming around in your subconscious all day. And that will bubble up to the surface and ruin your life. Trip Recap Best insights and experiences My experience of "Raw Reality" To do Build my existential Vocabulary, Use Leos video! Learn each technical step to monetize my products. To do next time when tripping Control my environment when it comes to what can come through on my phone. Have my glasses available. Do what works. Listen to Leos guided exercise on realizing you're God. Listen to Leos guided exercise on understanding infinity. Listen to Leo's episode on why brains don't exist. Try to play voice recordings of my intentions to myself, and listen to that, and see what results I get from that. Additional things I've learned I need to think about how all of my actions, especially the selfish ones. How they could snowball. I learned how your mind creates these stories and scenarios, and it's not even reality, it's all fiction and made up. You need to massively control your environment for an LSD trip. What I got was a warning shot, so for next time I don't make the same mistake. I learned just how sensitive and influenceable you are on psychedelics. How sensitive I am to psychedelics, with the amount of visuals I got on just half a tab. I learned how much LSD wipes your context that grounds you in reality. How your reality is just grounded in context. I learned that there is something very mysterious about reality lurking around the corner, and I can't wait to find it again! Questions I have What exactly is first order reality and second order reality? Where can I read more about this? Does Leo have a video on context? Other than recontextualization? When I talked about "Raw reality", What was that?

Just read the following article on the subject of accessing an intelligence that's far deeper than that of the thinking mind and thought it was very good, so figured I'd share it here for other like-minded people (it's by a spiritual teacher called Amoda Maa Jeevan, who still appears to be relatively obscure, but I think her teachings on spiritual transformation are excellent): A Deeper Intelligence A list of all her articles can be found here (I thought this one on emptying your vessel was also very good).

That is a scary thing to realise. I realised it when my friends told me. I had started and quit 3 different university courses. I had lived in 17 different places. I started creating an app, then I lost faith in it and quit. Realising that this pattern leads nowhere is an important part of the transformation. I've been doing the same thing for over 2 years now, and I don't really think of quitting anymore. There's things to pursue that are so true to you, so authentic, that the thought of quitting won't occur. The rest is temporary exploration, fun, but although it's painful, you can let it go when it's ran its course, and be better off for it. The more open-minded your personality is, the more of these temporary explorations you will have. The higher your impulsivity is, the more you will commit to things you have to later uncommit to. The more you are in touch with what is truly worth striving for, to you, the less you will want to spend energy elsewhere.

"You can’t deny that at least some people who are on the path of drugs have big experiences, but you will see that they don’t grow, there is no transformation in the way they are. In fact, such a person never attains to Grace, he sort of retards. He never attains to any kind of fragrance. He just has big experiences to talk about, otherwise he slowly retards" ~Sadhguru That's exacly what I came to see in psychedelic users. It's really visible with a naked eye if you're open. But the thing is, psychedelic users will probably deny this untill the end of days, not wanting to see the truth of it. I know it's also very offensive and unpleasent thing to say espesially on a forum like this. My apologies. For what is worth, sadhguru mentioned that drugs are still a possibility in the end. So that should make a lot people happy here ?

@charlie cho Social anxiety makes me block my expression sometimes, and whilst I'm introverted, I'm sometimes extroverted but that gets blocked by anxiety or feeling low I occasionally vent to friends. The other day I was talking to a friend about something that bothered me, both of us to a degree, but I waiting out the impulse to bitch in particular manner which didn't feel nice. There's a way I used to vent to my sister with, but I have no tolerance, it's unpleasant -- You're an mbti nerd right? Alright so I was basically always an INTP, just a regular paki nerd. My psyche got so plunged into shadow, strong emotions, existential despair, that my personality changed. There are shadow stacks, my Fi in abrupt consciousness, the demon/transformation function

I decided to pickup again. As you can see in the journey, I was offline between begin-August to the middle of October. It will be low intensity pickup. I'm over hyperactivity. I have the skills to get phone numbers with minimal effort. My effort is really on my self, inner game (self-acceptance and self-transformation), and most importantly my work ethic and LP. My mindset is totally different than in the beginning of my journey. Girls really disappointed me and I'm learning a lot from them. And the more I learn about them, the more I learn about myself.

@Blackhawk Look, I've been in hell before. I know what it's like, it can be really hard to turn it around. During my twenties I was more often than not depressed, and on top I had pain that didn't go away for years. Today things are very different, I am fulfilled, and the way this transformation occurred was through a change in perspective. The first step was crucial: I learned to be grateful for what I have. Gratitude is where it all starts, and it doesn't come from the outside world, you can't expect things to turn around without taking the first step yourself. Be grateful. If you're physically healthy, you already have so much to be thankful for. Two weeks ago I had a kidney stone and it was the most excruciatingly painful experience I've ever had. I can't tell you how lucky you are just by being healthy. The world will not change things for you, change has to come from you. Start here, "I am young and healthy, and I am grateful for that". Start a gratitude journal, what else can you be grateful for? It's all up to you.

Not really a concrete answer. But it does take my to own presence which is significant. Here's the thing. I already know what it means to be healed and well from my psych trips. It's the same transformation process every time. I lay down, i become very sensitive to what I feel and the sensations of the body, and if i'm able to feel into my sensations and not get distracted I will have a breakthrough. The breakthrough completely changes my perceptual field, I lose virtually all suffering and discomfort, and I have this amazing clarity and equanimty. My goal is to live from this space. And the first step is getting in touch with my own presence. Yeah I definitely have issues with my diet, health, etc. But I don't know how to all of a sudden satisfy these basic needs. It takes tremendous discipline to eat healthy, work out hard etc. I try to work out or eat healthy, but I give in to my addictions very easily. I can see how I need to address my base as well, but Idk how to go about that in an effective way. All the advice just seems to be just do it. But when it's so much easier to get sucked back into addictions then it is to have iron will. I was thinking of doing some kind of medtation retreat or wellness retreat in the near future, I figure it could be like my rehab and give me a chance to start new habits with a clean slate. I may consider an ayahausca retreat too, but I dread having to drink the tea because I can't even look at psychs without gagging now, so I bet i'd just throw it up. I don't really have survival issues in the sense that I have money or safety needs. I'd say I have issues with discipline, relationships, and direction. But take relationships for example. How am I supposed to just go and get my needs for intimacy satisfied. I view woman as sex objects, and the kinds of woman who I would be into would not be into given my current situation and emotional constitution. I can see the wisdom in getting my foundation solid, like my diet, exercise etc. But I have no idea how to approach that successfully, and also I'm not so certain that solving those issues will get me what I want. I already know what works from deep meditation and psychidelics, I don't see the sense in turning away from that to solve basics without a clear undesrtanding of how basics will move me forward. One thing I tend to see on this forum from guys like Leo and even Nahm, is when they don't know how to answer a person's questions or give specific guidance they default to the amorphous just solve your basics. As if it's that simple to just develop strong habits, healthy relationships, end your addictions etc.

Obviously they are just tools for transformation and incredibly profound tools at that! And, obviously having an enlightening experience with a psychedelic is different than being enlightened. There is a lot of work to do to integrate the wisdom, learn how to master our minds, impulses, and habitual patterns... there are belief systems to conquer, wounds to heal, and a path to self love that requires true humility, courage, ego disillusion and integration, we need to hone our daily rituals and practices and master skills and ultimately birth the greatest expressions of ourselves in service to something greater than ourselves. Is a psychedelic going to do all this for you, not, but am I missing something, because I don't see that as the message here. I have never got the message that Leo believes that psychedelics are the end game, but more, one of the most profound tools to create breakthroughs and provide a direct experience of the Infinite/Reality/God/Mind. I see the lean in to psychedelics as a progression on the path of awakening and self actualizing, because after years of mediation, yoga, mystical experience, contemplation... psychedelics found me, and for me, they have offered me the most radical shift in understanding of who I am, and have shined a light on some of the work I needed to do to become more authentic and in alignment Truth. They are still showing me the next level - how to embody the philosophies and the Infinite Sacred Being that I am. My understanding (which seems to be mimicked by this website) is that contemplation, meditation, yoga, exercise, diet, continual learning, creative work, healthy relationships, discipline, selflessness, truth, learning how to create balance in mind, body, heart, soul, and relationships, work are all part of the lessons and tools being taught here. I see the open sharing of using psychedelics for authentic transformation and enlightenment helpful because normalizing these tool means more people will try them and hopefully experience Love and start awakening. The secret is out - the greatest scientists, gurus, artists, visionaries, philosophers, inventors, entrepreneurs, wisdom keepers, teachers... have used these plant allies and synthesized tools since the beginning of time...We are living in a time, in which perhaps, we will discover what happens when these forbidden and hidden tools become available to all of us as we explore Consciousness and to awaken. Perhaps, partnering with psychedelics we can awaken each other and create "the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible" I am witnessing the evangelic psychedelic tone of the website, and yet I am also witnessing content that is balanced with essential tools for true awakening... lessons on holism, spiral dynamics, sense making, meditation, first principle thinking, epistemology, Aztec non dualism, shadow work, ego development, Taoism... I am actually really really grateful for the 5 MEO MALT share (I had not heard of it)!!! I am grateful that these tools are being shared (all of them) I have tried 5 MEO DMT (Toad, which I love) and see that psychedelics and many tools are part of the process of true awakening.

Change vs. transformation is a topic worthy of consideration. As it sometimes happens with those who struggle with alcohol addiction. There can come a time when an inner seeing takes place and they may experience a moment of clarity. With that moment of clarity comes the willingness to endure the suffering that lay ahead of them in order to move past their accute addiction. The enduring of this friction within themselves is alchemical. It produces a transformation. Sometimes this inner struggle moves one as well from the realm of mind to the realm of Being. Below is a diagram produced by Dwight Ott, a former Teacher of mine of the Fourth Way and esoteric Christianity. Metanoia, a transliteration of the Greek μετάνοια, means after-thought or beyond-thought, with meta meaning "after" or "beyond" and nous meaning "mind". It is commonly understood as "a transformative change of heart; especially: a spiritual conversion." From Wikipedia

SDi Green Spirituality suffers from the problem of being too lovey dovey and emotional without including serious spiritual work, so all what's left is love dovey feel good vibes without any actual self transformation.

Lets say I go along with the scientific version that the universe is 13.77 billion years old - well in that game, the time started at the big bang and eventually there will be the effect of heat death where the heat in the universe is the same everywhere and hence no life - - so then all this stuff we are doing will just die out anyway. Lets say we go with the infinite version that there is no beginning or end and the universe has been around for infinity and will always be around for infinity. In that one, infinity is forever which is so long - whatever we have now will change over and over again an infinite amount of times and via that transformation, stuff is "lost" and "gained" - hence any ideas we have will be lost and forgotten, any projects we work on will be ruined - but also could keep on coming back in terms of infinity and stuff we have now can be the seed for growth of future stuff but yet again also get ruined but then built up, ruined, and built up. Lets say we go with the imagined version that I am imagining that I am the universe and I am imagining that there even is a universe and I am imagining the idea of infinity and forever. In that version, I am imagining that I am a person, imagining that there are problems, imagining that I am imagining that there are problems... I guess there's really nothing to do other that what we imagine so (as we will never have absolute affirmation on anything) - - so yes I would prefer to imagine myself saving the imagined dream characters instead of imagining myself hurting the imagined dream characters and imagining beauty/fun/curiosity - - and as my imagined self imagines more things about consciousness/awareness, I could integrate those on a more holistic imagined level...... Yeah being in bed or being in a cave could be imagined to be boring but also could be imagined to have lots of possibilities in the realm of finding things to explore - - or not.. hehe.

One of the best decisions of my life. Frankly every human should probably see a therapist at some point in their lives. It's a privilege and can massively help catalyze growth and transformation on every level and dimension. Of course, not all therapists are created equal, but usually finding someone via word of mouth recommendation is a good way to go.

I watched this new interview with Mike Tyson. He smokes 5meo dmt regularly. And he has realized a lot of stuff. After smoking 5meo he lost 100 pounds, he stopped using cocaine. Nowadays he doesn't even kill insects in his house. He has gone through a transformation. He is more wise and intelligent tha people give him credit for. He talks in this video how we are all more animals than humans. Basically many of us we don't do bad shit like raping that young lady walking by bc of social concerns. Because of punishment. He is definitely smarter and more intuitive than Joe Rogan. Mike Tyson recognizes that God exists. When they asked him ''what inspires you?'' He replied ''God''. He many not understand everything about God. But i believe he has made enormous progress compared to the Average Joe. Really impressive. The young dudes in the video don't have a clue what Mike is talking about. They laught at what Mike is telling them. But they don't know whats going on. Lol. Materialistic fools.

There is not much to be said these days, because there is a lot that is being done. I'm basically living out everything I've scripted. Incredible. Next week is going to be a huge breakthrough. God winked on me and pointed in a very specific direction earlier during meditation. Big transformation ahead. I am very inspired and motivated.

it's simple but it took me a long time, i done just about anything you can think of to 'heal myself' but in reality it's simple. psychedelics don't really change you, meditation won't change you, diet, supplements, people, whatever you can think of. great insight tools and coming to a healthy place of homeostatis but i'm talking about day to day emotional transformation, truly letting go and feeling alive without trying just like how you did as a child. it is my belief until you resolve your emotional issues that you cannot truly surrender to spirituality. suffering does not seek god, it just seeks relief. there is fear because there is an attachment to the hurt in your past that you took personally because of what you were identified as, if you keep going on and on identifying with (mainly your worldview that developed from early childhood) that fear will always return you to the prison of coping mechanisms it built and keep you drowning in shame and self-pity and the seeking or relief. the fear is change, ego does not want to change because ego feels like it is benefiting by protecting itself - it doesnt give a shit how you feel as the experiencer of it, it's literally just trying to survive. and so the resistance, another thing you need to really stop identifying with even though it can feel so painfully real you just have to keep this idea of taking action despite how you feel but you are experiencing a lot of suffering and getting caught up in the actions of relief rather than the transformation. once you realize you are not your fear and i mean you can only realize it when you do something while feeling terrified or nervous, anxious as fuck, you have an inner knowing what the right thing to do is. because you may eventually just surrender to the fact nothing works except doing what you are terrified of. the more and more you do that, it kind of creates a massive surge of motivation and without even trying pulls you towards more and more right action. this is the mostself-loving acts you can do imo. the ones that feel the worst. keeping the ball rolling is important! you can't just do something once bask in the pride and wait until you feel shit again, it's too slow man. this is right action, not just action. taking right action means despite the anxiety, fear, depression you do what needs to be done, the procrastination is just more fear. you probably know exactly what to do but you need kind of distill it into an action you can take in reality and not your head. visualize yourself actually doing it and then... actually doing it. there is absolutely no other to way dissolve all the shame, anxiety etc inside of you. if you aren't on this page yet, basically you have to show your body through action that it's time to change because the body is stuck in what happened in your past that it never truly moved on from, that's why you can't really enjoy or experience what's happening in the now. until you get it, you'll keep trying to secure your insecurities, you'll never really feel confident and you will keep seeking your approval and needs from others and aaaallll of the cancerous things that came from our conditioning. besides exposing it and feeling it and letting it go. nothing else will work, and until you do that shit it will just sit inside relentlessly making you suffer for absolutely 0 reason and there is nothing that is excluded here, no matter how complex your mental issue is it's just a matter of how developed your awareness is around what you are experiencing through your perception. just some thoughts about getting out of that stuckness, heaviness, feeling like nothing works, desperation etc

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. Socrates According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment, just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don't bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where you actually experience the miraculous. (quoted by Carol Lynn Pearson in Consider the Butterfly) Deepak Chopra In his face there came to be a brooding peace that is seen most often in the faces of the very sorrowful or the very wise. But still he wandered through the streets of the town, always silent and alone. Carson McCullers

The Distance Healing Crystal Stone Grid This grid is intended to assist those who are keeping a Loved One in their prayers for healing or spiritual assistance. Some may be doing this kind of work in the context of sending Reiki, or a similar Divine Energy system, to assist in the healing and well-being of someone who does not live close enough to initiate a hands-on session. The stones were selected by either their ability to connect people energetically together, excellent general healing qualities, connection to spiritual helpers, transformation, tranquility, and love. The grid stones can be attuned to Reiki by a Reiki Master to continually run Reiki energy. It’s a handy addition. It’s polite to meditate with your stones first to see if they are ok with being energetically altered. The Stones Included: Center Circle: 1 Shungite Shungite is a metallic silver to black mineraloid, a mineral that lacks a crystal structure. It consists mostly of carbon, enclosing tiny grains of silicate minerals evenly suspended in it, and trace amounts of hydrogen, nitrogen, oxygen, sulfur, and other elements. The name comes from the late 19th century and is derived from Shunga, Russia, the location where it was first discovered. Russia remains the primary source for it but the deposits there are vast. The algae colonies that produced the carbon for shungite are some of the earliest forms of life on earth. This makes it a good support for memory, past life work, and connecting to ancestors, spirit guides, and ancient civilizations. Shungite is also used for accessing pure, primal patterns, which would lend it well to any corrective, healing, or deeply transformational activity of any kind. Inner Lotus: 6 Quartz Points Quartz amplifies energies, thoughts, and intentions. It strengthens and clarifies the auric field and can be used to direct energy like a laser beam, if used with intention. When used in crystalline grids, a set of points expands the energy field of a grid, or serves as a medium through which healing energy is directed to distant subjects. Star: 6 Quantum Quattro Silica (Chrysocolla in matrix from Namibia) This stone is a combination of smoky quartz and copper based minerals, such as chrysocolla, shattuckite, malachite, ajoite, azurite, and dioptase. Traditionally, all blue and green stones were sacred to love goddesses because the colors represent the fertility of the earth. It also would indicate an integration between thoughts and feelings, or psychic impressions or spiritual energies integrated and manifested into the real world. Triangle: 6 Golden Quartz Golden quartz is a relatively new stone find out of India. It is a variety of quartz colored golden by iron oxide inclusions. Quartz tends to amplify the minerals that are included within it. The golden quality would be associated with solar energies, which imbue the stone with vitality, abundance, warmth, happiness, and well-being. Yellow iron inclusions harness the grounding quality of iron for manifestation and bringing things to fruition. It also is useful in anchoring Divine Golden, spiritual, or healing energy into the physical level. Open Circle: 6 Smoky Amethyst ElestialScepters These are special quartz points found in Madagascar. In certain conditions quartz grows faster along its edges rather than its faces, so it can grow larger than the rest of the crystal, producing a scepter like shape. Its qualities include personal empowerment, connecting to the spiritual level, anchoring higher energies to the physical level, directing energy, and protection. Sometimes these types of crystals have double or multiple terminations. In that instance, they can be used to energetically connect people, such as with distance healing work, to align the energies of the person sending healing to the person receiving so that they are in greater synergy and the energy can flow freely from one to the other. Square: 6 Rose Quartz Rose quartz is the very essence of love energy in all of its many expressions. It connected directly with the heart and emotional body and assists in gentle shifts toward loving states, forgiveness, nurturing, comfort, and bonding. It is often associated with nurturing and compassionate aspects of the Divine Feminine, and specifically with Mother Mary. Solid Circle: 6 Rutilated Quartz Rutilated Quartz has golden to reddish threads of Rutile imbedded within it. It is a special quartz energy as the Rutile increases the potency of energy moving through the quartz. It is stimulating to the Belly and Solar Plexus and can be used to amp up energy in the whole system by placing it right over the belly button. Traditionally, it was sacred to Venus, which means that it enhances all one-on-one relationships, such as connecting and harmonizing the energy between two people, not just lovers. Recommended Grid Use and Placement Continually Running Grid: The Distance Healing Crystal Grid is really a practitioner’s grid, so it should be placed wherever you do your sacred energy work. I recommend that you set it up somewhere it will not be disturbed. Active Work Grid: You can put the photo of the person for whom you are sending healing underneath the Distance Healing Crystal Grid, or their names. You can use this grid for more than one person as well, but I recommend that you engage the work in an interactive way. You could re-activate the grid as part of a strategy to send active healing and love to the distant subjects. Sit and Spin Grid: You could activate the Distance Healing Crystal Gris under a chair while you are engaging in Reiki or energy work on behalf of distant subjects, such as using a doll proxy to do a treatment, which may be on your lap. Doing this would put the vortex of the grid in alignment with your core pillar of light, effectively plugging your energy field into the alignment and connection processes. Sit and Spin with a Volunteer Proxy: You could put the Distance Healing Crystal Grid under a massage table as you are giving an in-person treatment and request for that session to serve as a proxy session for distant subject(s). If you do this, I recommend that you get permission from your in-person client first, or get a volunteer to stand in as a local proxy for someone specific who can temporarily Hold Space for the distant subject. If you do this right, you can intend to scan and work on a local proxy and receive useful energetic information from the distant subject. Be specific about wanting to treat the distant subject through the proxy to be Blessed and then cleared of connection and energies afterward. Sit and Spin with You as Proxy: You could set the Distance Healing Crystal Grid up under a chair, table, or bed, while you intend to do a self-treatment as a proxy for a distant subject. I recommend setting up sacred space, intend to connect to the distant subject, and state clear intentions to send them healing energy as part as your self-treatment. Meaning, that as you treat yourself, you are also sending the energy to the distant subject.