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  1. Because you haven't fully grasped what survival is. It is you who is deciding that the present moment is not enough, for the purpose of survival. Mind interpretation and assertion of value for circumstance is completely fabricated to serve your survival. Thus, your energies are not directed toward what is, but toward what isn't. You should really work on contemplating what "boring" really is, and the self-referential nature of personal experience. Get that every distinction and every "charge" or "value" in your awareness - whether perceptual or conceptual (green, high pitched voice, sour, slow, ugly, good, boring, delicious) - is revolving exclusively around your survival. Being conscious of the self principle, does not mean that you stop being a self. You can still strive for personal achievements and develop your 'character', but you will be more free of your attachment to your adopted ideals - because you will see them for what they really are, fabricated and conceptual reality adopted and designed by your self (with much contribution from your family, friends and society at large). Being free of this predicament will allow you to adopt a more healthy relation to the Now, and align your self with what is true. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to experience directly how every aspect of your experience is designed for survival of the self.
  2. They don't lose circulation. The numbness is from pressure on the nerves. It's fine to remain this way, but one should be careful no to get up fast because the numbness may cause you to fall down.
  3. Who is the one executing the "and"? The one that sliced the two in the first place.
  4. Life is only an active resistance against the dissolution of form. Did you mean that Consciousness/Formlessness is mysterious?
  5. But it's true. Whatever is outside your awareness, does not exist for you. The kitchen is only a distinction within your awareness, composed of perception data and concepts (including language). Those are all forms of knowing, you can only know a kitchen within awareness, otherwise it doesn't exist. Granted, there maybe other individuated awareness that may know the kitchen, but it is not the same kitchen because every awareness contains different interpretation and even different capacities of perceptions. Communication, and language specifically, is what allows us to bridge the gap between our split awareness and co-know the kitchen under similar terms, for the purpose of interaction and survival. Awareness, or perceptions and mind, is only a form of consciousness. A limitation. A process designed only for the purpose of Survival. Ultimately even the content of your awareness is a fabrication of the Truth, because perceptions and mind serve the self, not Consciousness. Awareness is not existence, it is only knowing.
  6. Life, reality, existence are all meaningless, but it doesn't mean anything! Meaningless is also meaningless. Meaning is a function of mind and survival, not of Being. Being just is. It is prior to meaning, because meaning is a pure fabrication of the mind, giving service only the purpose of self survival. Meaning has no intrinsic meaning of itself, it is just a field of thought charged with some value imposed on perception data. If all the "content" in existence was destroyed or vanished in some way, or there was no way of knowing existence or processing what is (via perceptions or mind), than all you are left with is pure isness. Isness is devoid of meaning because it is Nothing. And this also has no meaning, unless realizing this changes the meaning you are assigning to any aspect of experience (life itself, interactions, relationships, hobbies, work, objects etc.).
  7. You write well, fellow traveler. Safe travels.
  8. Yes, calisthenics is awesome and very challenging. I like to balance it with yoga, because sometimes I am getting the chills that calisthenics revolves a lot around ego, due to the impressiveness and uniqueness of the exercises at hand (mostly HSPU, Muscle Up, Front & Back Lever, Planche, Flag, Pistols etc.). It easily extracts reactions from others watching you do this exercises. Calisthenics may be a huge ego trap, as you can see from the people obsessing over it as the end all be all of human movement. Also, calisthenics feels (for me) very one-dimensional if you are working on it for a long time. Gotta mix things up.
  9. Hey, I would propose for you to ask yourself if your fascination is from the result of new consciousness or from adopting an highly articulated beliefs based on someone else experience. Of course you should not take anything from a book as belief, but merely a pointer for your consciousness. Regarding your communication with Ralston via the book - it surely isn't about adopting new beliefs, it is only to "empty your cup" which is filled with mental activities (assumptions, dispositions, beliefs, memories, emotions, etc). Letting go means genuine not knowing, because knowing is a form of limitation you impose on "direct experience" or Consciousness. Emptying your cup might be hard to comprehend because most of us believe we are the thoughts that arise in consciousness. This is false because thinking is an activity we are doing, even if it seems that thoughts occur "on their own". This goes unnoticed because we are unaware of the origin or nature of the mind, and that there are aspects of it that is not even in our cognition. Some mind activities are just operating in "the background", without us even noticing. This maybe what you mean by "deeply held beliefs", but I'm not sure if that's what you pointed to. This is also why psychedelics such as Psilocybin and LSD are so powerful in uncovering aspects of mind that are not cognized by our awareness. If you have taken Psilocybin and LSD, you probably noticed a certain, general feeling, of relief, but you can seem to know how or why. This is because some molecules operate exactly on the activity of mind which we refer to as deeply held beliefs or assumptions you have regarding your self and reality. These assumptions are, again, operating "behind the scenes". They are very nuanced and the mind is assimilating and fusing them into your experience without even you noticing. This assumptions largely revolve your sense of being - your self worth, your sense of separation from others, your basic drive to survive and so on. Getting beyond these assumptions (or bringing "subconscious mind" into consciousness) is no easy task due to their inherent invisible quality, and to the fact that most of us have this feelings "running" in our background for most of our life, and it seems as if it is an intrinsic part of your experience. It isn't. This is totally our own doing, even though it occurs outside your awareness and consciousness. It is great to start emptying your cup by dropping beliefs which are easy to recognize as a story your take for granted, even though you never experienced it for yourself. This why the example you brought up regarding the shape of the earth is so classic. Most of us never had an experience of an oval-shaped earth, but we take it for granted because it is the dominating belief in the matter in most of societies. This does not mean that the story we all have regarding the shape of earth is not an accurate way to represent it's characteristics, only that we blindly adopt beliefs as facts. This is also why emptying your cup from one belief is not meant to serve the adoption of a new belief (such as that the earth is flat). It only serves you to be open for the truth, or what is. You can still absorb knowledge in different domains of thought. But I have a feeling soon you will recognize that knowledge is a very limited form of consciousness, and because there is so much more beyond, it will be hard to be "satisfied" just by indulging in it.
  10. Try concentrating on breathing deeply and let go.. join the Infinite breath.
  11. Who cares? any answer you'll get to this question will only be speculation. Furthermore, not only no answer will deepen your consciousness, it will actually add another belief or story. Your falling prey to just another mind trap, trying to conceptualize Enlightenment from an obscure angle.
  12. There are different degrees of ego dissolution. I would propose that ego death is the dissolution of both the self-mind and perceptive faculties. This could be "achieved" using Psilocybin and other molecules, yes. It is possible to resist the dissolution of the ego using the self-mind and the perceptive faculties, by trying to "hold onto" your known reality (hence "anchoring" you in ego consciousness). This is why letting go is very powerful in "psychedelic" states. An initiated psychonaut learns with time to cultivate the letting go "skill". But it is also powerful, and probably even more important, in default states. Letting go of your mind activity (beliefs, concepts, memory etc.) will grant you with greater openness and possibility towards deeper consciousness (which is limited by your mind and perceptions). Enjoy the ride.
  13. This is because you dipped in an experience with far far less content of mind (due to Psilocybin effect), allowing you to be more easily and fully immersed in the present moment (or in being). And now, when the Psilocybin effects reside, mind has (probably) returned to it's usual form, back to dominate your experience. This maybe grueling for the unseasoned traveler/psychonaut. This implies that you should deepen your consciousness regarding mind mechanics, and become more aware to the true nature of self and the effects that psychedelics has on it.
  14. This is because you are trying to grasp what God is using your mind and intellect. Stop personifying God, it is not what you think it is. Intelligence is only a distinction in the human domain, referring to certain capacity of a being to cope with obstacles. God is also infinite intelligence because "he" is not limited to any form whatsoever. So basically you can carve any degree of intelligence from it. You are also confusing your self-mind with God. Self-mind is a only a form of God, so of course that a self-mind that absorb any teaching will only form a new matrix of beliefs and concepts. Self-mind cannot and will not "realize" God, because it is only a limitation "within" God. I would also suggest replacing the word God with Consciousness or Nothing or Emptiness, I have a 'feel' that you have some form of negative connotation towards that word and this is never a good disposition for inquiry.
  15. Good luck with that approach.