Jannes

There are videos for it. Downloading one right now.

I feel pretty toasted. Worked for about idk 6 to 10 hours today. Definitely worked straight for the last 4 hours just now. I dont know what the right strategy for motivation and energy conservation is. I definitely need breaks but when and how?

I have no energy today, getting tired towards the end of the marathon. The best thing would be a complete deload day with no medication and nothing intellectual to do and an epic 10 hour sleep but now I gotta push through.

The more you tell yourself that you are a good person, the more meat you have to shock absorb when reality hits you with the revelation that you arent actually a good person.

That being said I watched a video on how to execute a chop block though which was quite informative.

I dont need an accountability partner atm, I am very productive. But watching on my phone numbs my mind.

Yeah so I watche for about an hour on my phone. Seems like I need to develop new strategies, this is going into a bad directoion. It needed to happen at some point. Huh, bad times can bring you forward but too disciplined times can also get you into a fallback.

Hehe, a snap just when he got revange on truls moregardh who dared to defeat him in an earlier match.

Same energy Cool now I am a fan of the world number 1. How original ...

Wang Chquin is like an angry ape. Because of the chinese rubbers he needs to do giant fast sweeps to hit the ball hard. And his unique weaknesses is that he cant control his emotions lol. Its so cool to see his game, my shoulder hurts a little doing so though. My body is quite robust when it comes to injuries but my shoulder always suffers a bit when I play a lot.

I opened a table tennis video on my phone yesterday and feel how a jam is getting some holes which is the beginning of the end. I blocked youtube on my phone but I dont think I can easily block videos from a random blog. And it felt so good to watch NOOOO. It was a video highliting hte best momets from a match of Wang chuquin. It was so useful to see his chinese and also motivating. This is a though spot. What I learned though is that sometimes a temporary setback can give room for a new uprise. Not sure if it counts when I have this in mind beforehand though.

Goddammit, nobody is in the guided group anymore so I got out as well but now my sheep mode is broken. I need someone to tell me to be productive.

I need to eat more. The medication surpresses my appetite but I need carbs to think properly so I gotta remind myself to eat.

I feel like at least half of the reasoning of my old. theatre club leader to not respond was for PR reasons. It could explain his neutralness in his response or his willingness to only talk to me when I am staying part of the old theatre club. PR control is something I picked up on quite late.