Jannes
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The RV session with my trainer was good. Well he told me that when I view and dont get something new and surprising then I dont actually view. I need to try as many times as it takes to get something. I got this picture in my head of continuely trying to light up a match on a matchbox but never getting it to light up. A really uncomfortable struggle. Well, thats what I am in for.
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Come to think of it, I never ever talked about my actual problems with the people close to me. That is that I struggle with flirting accidently. My friends at impro dont know about it. My friends girlfriend was willing to cheat with me. A deep struggle and puzzledness about the world stays with me and I cant talk about it.
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These real life war films are kind of addicting. Kind of questions my self image, oh well..
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Oh yeah, I always found the force strong in homeless bottle collectors.
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Never watched it with the translation. 4:57
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When I think about why I want to do acting, its because of THAT. I would have loved to play her exploding from anger. Expressing such intensity. Great voice lines, I think there is some potential to express her anger in that moment more creatively. But really I am just building on top of the foundation that this show has created, they did a good job.
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A lot of unproductive thoughts come up as soon as I dont take my adhd medication.
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Also I partially dont have a Plan B. I am too old to get accepted to an acting school.
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I checked out the WhatsApp Group of my old theatre club yesterday, in particular the pictures of the members. I am finally taken out. The old theatre club still has such a massive grip on me emotionally though. I have so much anger. I knew I couldnt look at the emotional pain of the loss of the old theatre club straight because I needed to protect myself emotionally. I had so much love for this place, looking at the reality that all my dreams crashed and that I will never have it is just too much to accept. Maybe thats why I cant let go off my anger.
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Its raining. Maybe a blessing in disguise .. LESS PEOPLE
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classic
