Jannes

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About Jannes

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  1. Your are right. Its absurd but it so feels like spiders have some personal problem with me. Now that I see that my phobia seems smaller thanks.
  2. @Michal__ thanks for sharing your experience 🙏🏻 . It’s not something you like to share so it feels good to know you are not the only one with weird fantasies of that kind. How long did it take you until the fantasies turned from disturbing to funny ?
  3. Hello Psychonauts, I have a reoccurring problem on my magic truffles trips. My thoughts are always really creative and figurative. I have phobia when it comes to spiders and snakes and because phobia is a possible reason for a bad trip I spent time watching some nature documentaries, bought a plastic figure of a spider and snake etc. to fight my phobia. I lost most of my phobia when it comes to snakes but pretty much none at all for spiders at this moment. Because of this reason I don’t do high doses of magic truffles at the moment even though I feel that I need them for a breakthrough. And on my latest trip something else happened. I imagined a lot of spiders which makes sense because I looked at a lot of spider pictures in the past days but I also got the tendency to want to imagine the most disgusting things I could possibly come up with. Here is the example. Please only read it if you can take some nasty stuff // So I saw a giant spider. Like on a microscope. I always wanted to know what happens if you squeeze a spider. In my trip I imagined it being like squeezing a pimple with the insides of a spider being like white pus but a lot thicker. (I know that makes no sense) And I imagined slamming all of this nasty stuff of this giant spider into my mouth. Like a turkey who is getting force fed. And I imagined how it would feel with other nasty substances. // I found these thoughts very disgusting of course but I didnt try to control them I just let them happen. I don’t think I am done with this tendency because I didnt found the motivation on why I want to think these thoughts. I know that as a baby my father overfed me. As soon as I made a sound my father came to spoon feed and I blew up like a ballon. As soon as I started walking I got rid of that extra fat and stayed lean for my entire life. I always found force feeding extremely disgusting and always tried to eat normal portions. Would you say that this is a traumatic experience that I have to live through again ? What tipps would you give me to overcome it ?
  4. That’s why I try to do it as safe as possible. There are risks with everything. And if she doesn’t take psychedelics the risk for many meaningless years and extra suffering is strongly increased.
  5. @Nahm yeah maybe I can get my mom to meditate. I figured that would be important too.
  6. I introduced psychedelics to my mom yes but she hasn’t taken anything yet.
  7. I think bad trips are very valuable. But there is a different between bad trips that are a bit bad and bad trips that are completely traumatic. You can read plenty of trip reports from people who had them and it’s just to much hell to integrate. I just want to avoid these because I feel responsible for my mom in a way because I introduced psychedelics to her.
  8. Yes that’s true it’s my projection. I build that belief structure from deep trip reports from Leo and people from the forum. It also makes sense to me that many insights are blocked from a lot of ego and getting through to them might not be that pleasant. I don’t know better because I never had a breakthrough yet. Should you try to drop all belief systems and be completely open to the experience when going into a trip or what would you suggest ?
  9. Sure that is true but you should at least get a feeling of how psychedelics fell and what they can do to you. If you don’t do that then the risk of a bad trip is high.
  10. 2. What exactly do you mean by abusing things like 5meo ?
  11. You can’t rush the process. Without any smaller work before as preparation you are only getting freaked out resist everything and are unable to integrate any deep experiences and probably never touch psychedelics again.
  12. Thanks for your opinion. Do you think there really are people mature enough for big awakenings ? I don’t think anybody is ready for that although I haven’t had any insights yet. I think people who are mature enough to use these substances maturely are also mature enough to handle small doses for self reflection and personal development.