r0ckyreed

I feel like that is where I’m at. I see the market. I’ve been on Hinge, approached at the bars. But I don’t see anyone worth dating and being vulnerable with again.

Thanks. There’s still value. But going forward, I’m not gonna expect women to care about philosophy and awakening like I used to. The reason why I have difficulty with relationships is because I love talking about philosophy, politics, and other controversial topics. And I know the majority of people don’t wanna have those discussions. I don’t want to lower my thinking to low conscious stuff like sports, gossip, sex, etc. Right now, relationships seem like a waste of time to me. It requires so much work to maintain them with no guarantee that it will work. I don’t want kids and most women do. I don’t think women can handle me existentially. I’m trying to get out of my hometown by age 30. How do you do it Leo? How do you stay motivated despite the annoying games of attraction and breakups? Why pursue a woman if you can pursue God? A woman’s love is conditional. @Leo Gura

I already got an LP and good stuff going for me. I understand why relationships exist. The purpose of relationships is to deepen my dream, not to awaken. Relationships are corrupted by the human survival agenda. The whole concept of courting and dating is already full of corruptions and self-deceptions. Dating isn’t about truth. It’s about what makes you feel good. LP is also part of the matrix as well. I’m not saying the matrix is bad. We need to have money to have food to be able to survive for us to be able to contemplate and awaken. But don’t mistake that money and food are figments of the dream. I believe it’s possible to have a conscious relationship and awaken. But just realize that most of everything in life is designed to keep you asleep (ex: money, work, relationships, sex, religion, politics, etc.), aside from psychedelics. Hell, I’m even contradicting myself right now by making this post. The majority of the posts I make is a self-deception, another matrix that I use to remind myself of the matrix I am in.

Thats not it. I have felt fulfilled. But I also realize that it wasn’t about truth. Never met a single woman who has a passion for breaking the matrix. All that I have met want to go deeper into the dream, to get married, to have kids, start a family. None I have met are interested in deeply deconstructing reality. That woman is rare. But again, why do I want a relationship? Because part of my consciousness is hardwired to go deeper into the illusion. Relationships are attachments. Anything you attach yourself to is inherently untrue if you really think about it. I’m not commenting about my relationships. I’m commenting about the structure of relationships being designed to deepen you into the matrix. Relationships are a self-deception. But yet, we need them to survive.

I would love to have a girlfriend who is highly philosophical and cares deeply about truth for its own sake. But that seems like me striking gold in a porta-potty. Maybe I’m in the wrong environment. I would love a relationship like that. But I am also trying to be realistic too. The rub is that when you enter a relationship, it no longer becomes about truth for its own sake anymore.

I am them. There’s no difference between me imagining a pyramid and me looking at my hand.

To even have a relationship already implies you jumping through hoops and playing games.

I’ve been thinking about the purpose of relationships and the insight hit me and it seems so obvious now. The purpose of romance and relationships is to entrench you deeper into the illusion. I’ve been contemplating why it is hard for me to build friendships and romantic relationships with others. I figured out that most people do not want to talk about deep things such as philosophy, politics, and spirituality. They just want to dive deeper into their illusions and not question reality. I hardly ever meet friends or let alone romantic interests that actually care about truth. Caring about truth is so rare. I’m starting to realize that the purpose of a relationship is not about truth. It’s about enhancing the dream/illusion. All this pickup, attracting women, and getting horny is a complete waste of time. But hey, do you. If you don’t care about truth, then relationships and sex are for you. But if you are someone like me who can’t stop contemplating reality, then consider that relationships are part of the matrix. There’s no issue with enjoying the matrix. You can’t escape the matrix, but the pursuit itself of sex/relationships will not bring you an understanding of reality. Relationships are about survival, not truth. I’m not saying don’t have fun, to not pursue relationships. I’m just stating that you’re fooling yourself if you make that your sole pursuit in life. If you do those things, just realize that you’re not prioritizing truth at that moment. You’re distracting yourself with human desires. Nothing wrong with that. Just be honest with yourself. I have deconstructed the fantasy of a hot witch truth-seeking girlfriend.

Felt like everything I ever interacted with is a form of consciousness. Consciousness takes on the form of thoughts, objects, people, space, emotions, etc.

Not true. Look up Maslows hierarchy of needs.

What do you think? Anybody have any secret meditation techniques they are willing to share? I would like to learn kriya yoga but the teaching is secret.

Here’s a powerful secret meditation technique I learned: 1. Settle in and imagine an empty desert. In this quiet empty desert, visualize a pyramid made out of crystal. See it as vividly as you can. Any thought that captures you, return back to the pyramid. 2. Notice the pyramid fading away to nothingness, along with the desert. 3. Sit in the empty stillness for as long as possible. Any thought that’s come up, see them fading away like the pyramid. 4. As you sit in the stillness, just notice consciousness itself. Don’t try to do anything. Just notice what consciousness is doing. Ask the question: “What is consciousness? What am I?” Don’t try to answer it with more thought, just notice. The answer is a shift in consciousness. That is my secret meditation technique. Hope you enjoyed it.

A post about that was made a few months ago. It’s not a good idea. It doesn’t represent independence of thought. Leo’s views on things always update, so that bot would be a self-deception. It’s a distraction from the work.

Thanks. Any retreats you recommend? Never actually done a formal retreat. Are they even worth it compared to a retreat at my home? I was thinking of just doing a weekend dark room retreat in my home where I just lock myself in my dark closet and just sit. The most I’ve ever meditated was 5 hours. I plan on watching the surfer this weekend.

Thanks. I’m just trying to make sure how I can meditation properly so that it won’t be a waste of time. Not sure how counting my breaths or chanting a mantra will lead me to the moon. I can see how meditation can make me more grounded, but I don’t see how I can get to the moon via meditation alone. Furthest I’ve gotten to the moon was via psilocybin and contemplation. Trying to see what I can do other than contemplation while I wait to get psychedelics again.