wesyasz

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About wesyasz

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  • Birthday 11/10/1986

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  1. I did write mine down but recently don't do that anymore, as it became a tiny bit more common for me. Though, my impression is that is just life screaming, "I am happening, I am everywhere, I am you, wake up!".
  2. I have no idea what you guys talking about, I don't feel anything.
  3. I think she has a few very good points on this:
  4. Only if we step into perception of time and assume there is a difference between this and that. Am I wrong? Because in that moment, it seemed to be everything, didn't it?
  5. Cooking is actually a good example of finding balance. It shows how abstract and unthinkable wide variety of flavours and textures you can mix together and how exciting it tastes if you find the perfect balance. It's mind opening if you happy to play, such as it is with life. These days I find it difficult to find balance, especially along current situation, such as it was with my move to Kathmandu. Staying any longer in Pokhara didn't felt right to me any more and now when I am in Kathmandu I meet people and I am more active but I miss the nature. A little disbalance, perhaps. Yesterday when practicing yoga I managed to do crow pose for 15s. For me it's an accomplishment! At least I did find balance in this! A few days ago something significant has happened to me. In the evening, when I actually have been just about going to sleep, one of my friends sent me a video called The Pleiadian Prophecy. I wonder what is that thing with Pleiadians? Louise has this channeling background until one day it wasn't true for her anymore, then someone else told me about her friend who says he has connection with Pleiadians and now this another person. In the video he says "you think you just exchange smiles with someone or your eyes meet, but actually what happens is that files are being swapped". How little contact we actually need to connect and raise consciousness of each other? I am writing about this because when I was attending "real" meetings with Louise in Rishikesh I once was brave enough to go sit with her and talk. And I wonder how many files this meeting has swapped, because after staring into each other eyes for good few minutes I knew she is me, and I am her, and I knew that she knows that also. That's how I know the answers aren't lying within the words, because the moment we would try to communicate it, it moves away. And that's after this meeting when I was sitting next to the Ganga river watching it's beautiful perfection and unrepeatable flow. And the funny thing is, I know someone who experienced this moment in her dream, being me, watching the river, next to the Himalayan Mountains. But going back to that video, I wasn't really feeling like watching it, but my friend told me to at least watch from 40th minute onward. So I did. And there was even this ego-mind chatter happening inside me saying 'yes, I know this all already' (?) until one moment he said something that hit me so deeply and on point that I lost my ground. It was just as in instant I understood completely the reality beyond time, what Now really is and what reality is. Because up to this point I've seen reality as linear events and even though I knew conceptually that future and past doesn't exist, I've seen this Now as different than some other Now. When anyone says, happiness can only be found Now, there was still some energy waiting for THE Now yet to come. Some different now, some now in the future. But it's illusory, because there is only Now. This Now. There never will be and there never was any other now, there is only Now and everything happens right Now. In "the same" Now (Yes, it's kind of discovery for me...)! Which means that nothing ever happened and nothing ever will but simultaneously everything happens in the same moment. And the moment I've started experiencing that I felt that this sense of Me is literally dying. Because to experience as this individual "Me", the perception of time is necessary. But it wasn't unpleasant. My heart was in a deep joy, but I felt just as I wasn't ready for the truth yet. My mind started engaging in it, asking its "what ifs". For example, as there is no time, what if you stuck somewhere for perceptual eternity? And the other part was saying, but that is the truth, how can you get lost finding yourself? But I took a stepless step back. Though my body felt like it's dissolving, I looked at my hand and I couldn't find it, I couldn't distinguish between my hand and rest of the reality. It felt like I'm going to disappear. Then I touched my face and the wall with such a great joy in being utterly Now and in awe of how beautiful it is that we even exist. I felt deeper understanding of what one of my friends meant when for once she told me about kissing the earth with the feet. It also felt like all the dots has been connected and I understood things I read or heard before. Once in the book "The Zen of Love" I read - "your awakening already has begun, but don't ask me how do I know it, I just know" and "you ask me how could I love you if I don't even know you, except that I know you". It came to my mind this evening and as I see now, it's been written by someone beyond time and space, or I should find the courage to say it's been written be me to myself. It lasted mildly for another day but even though I know it cannot past because it truly is all there is, there is a sense in me of experience which has passed. But with different point of perception now when I meditate and I'm not pulled into perception of time, every sound happen in the same space and from this space it isn't even possible to tell which one happens after which and if they are linear. Then in next few days I experienced strong anxiety and moments extreme fear, something which I haven't felt for a long, long time. I guess there is already knowing of what's true and inevitable, but it feels like I doesn't want to see it, because I am afraid that after the experience there will be no one to write about it... Then on Sunday on another zoom meeting there was a man describing exactly the same experience (it felt like he could just speak my words). And she said to him that the anxiety happens because ego already knows it doesn't really exist and it feels threatened because it knows it's one the way to its grave. And as exciting as it sounds it feels also as scary. I heard once somebody saying - there are two ways: slow and steady or quick and scary. I remember when I first read my friend wrote to me "it's not an easy experience to dream every night" I smiled because I used to find dreaming at night an easy experience. But the one I had recently gave me a bit of a sense what she meant. I was a little sceptical about past life experiences, because our perception is limited to our experience and I have never experienced that. But this dream was different. I remember sitting with someone I deeply loved with whom I shared understanding of reality and having a conversation about another "life". I would say it's been even happening more in that timeless space where we knew we will be separated but we didn't know where in the reality we are going to land and what signs we are going to leave so we can find each other again. Then I remember saying that now I understand why it's difficult to find each other, because her physical composition slightly differentiate in every "dream", because that's the nature of it. And we just jumped into that vortex of eternal Now not knowing where we are going to land with hope we will find each other once again. It actually felt pretty heartbreaking. Doesn't it fit into perfect category and definition of soulmates looking for each other? But then, how can I tell if it's something that I really remembered, something that is yet to be experienced or is it just the mind playing? Or was it just Now, same Now which I experience this moment, just a little less stable or more transparent. Is it possible that we actually have an individualized soul? Because then deepen question has came, if we are not looking for our soulmate but for ourselves and this entire "game" is about finding ourself...I think I have had this thought previously. Because how finding soulmate really looks like? I'm looking for myself, you are looking for yourself, so we find each other. How other could it be? When I woke up after entire dream at 3.30 I felt a little bit terrified that it is all just a dream and non of us exist, just eternal "I", which is one and everything, but to the ego it feels extremally lonely. Though, how could it be alone, and from what would it be separated if all is one and it is everything? But the shower of gratitude appeared the moment I realized I woke up in this beautiful life. This existence truly is a miracle. I still wonder where thoughts are coming from. Sometimes I try to float conscious in that in-between space right before falling asleep. The origin of these thoughts there is utterly unknown to me, because sometimes the images and words are so random. After many singing bowls sessions recently one evening when I did this again I catched a thought flying by "sound hospital". How beautiful, I thought, but where did it came from... ?! Apparently, this is it. The very seeking takes us away from Now, to imaginary future which doesn't exist. Isn't it true? Isn't it all perfection of existence? Unless the mind starts to judge one experience over the other, wrongdoings, rightdoings? Isn't it amazing enough that Universe desires to be you, so you are? Any "wrongdoings" has been our best at the time of their happening, everyone is doing their best at their level of consciousness, so are you and me. And sometimes dark energies come end express themselves too, sometimes we were not conscious enough to act any differently, if we could, we would. Wouldn't we?
  6. Thank you for a reminder. And thank you for being you .
  7. The answer is found when we are present. When we are completely present with each other, the answer is there, because there is nothing to be answered, there is no more questions, they cease to exist. We already have the answer in our heart. We are beyond these bodies, because there is more and more clear seeing, that this "me" doing anything is sort of an illusion. Because how could I distinguish when this is me doing anything and when it's not? I don't do hearing, I don't do seeing, I don't do heart beating. What makes me believe that there is a doer of other things? I am aware, but do I do? I can focus attention on things I am aware of. Aren't synchronicities trying to show this to us, isn't it consciousness becoming conscious of itself? Slowly understanding is coming what it means when they tell about drop of water falling into the ocean. I slowly get it that there is no me inside the body, it's just you everywhere, it's me everywhere, it's love everywhere, there is just life happening on itself. And even though it still feels like "me" in this body, there is quiet peace behind it. Perhaps, this is what this life is all about? About finding yourself once again. Getting back home. Isn't it what we all long for so, so much? I think that life can be about anything, whatever we perceive it to be, it becomes. Isn't it? Though, when you get closer to yourself, your heart just lights up. It just knows. It knows. I never hold you, but I feel you. You never spoke, but I hear you. I never knew you, but I love you. Recently I have more dreams, but they aren't nightmares anymore. Only rarely. I don't mind dreaming, I like dreams. But if they appear, they appear. If not, then not. I am not choosing to have them or not, so I accept what is. You say, that some of them are just the creation of our mind. I wonder if this what we call our "reality" isn't a creation of our mind? But then, what is the mind? Surely it isn't something we as individuals possess, if we can share this connection and thoughts. "Since before time, I have been free. Birth and death are only doors through which we pass, sacred thresholds on our journey. Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek. So laugh with me, hold my hand, let us say good-bye, say good-bye, to meet again soon. We meet today. We will meet again tomorrow. We will meet at the source every moment. We meet each other in all forms of life."
  8. In the mind, just is. How in your direct experience does the present moment exist?
  9. I mean the last appearence of physical reality before the experience of death. Or in other words, what the mind will produce to continue the story.
  10. You come back into experiencing through this body only if it is still suitable to be in it. And it's not that you have no choice. You ARE love. And if you come back, you come back to the last "moment", not "all over again". And if so, it is out of love, out of choice.
  11. Nothing happens to awareness. It is aware of another experience. It might manifest another body/reality or might come back into this. Out of love.
  12. My note. My card.