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I am running into a strange problem. Ever since starting personal development and actualizing myself, I have noticed that relationships don't work for me. Is this an actual problem that people can have, when they start growing and evolving as a person? I have been on this journey for about 10 years. In that time I have had 2 relationships. In both of them, I don't know how else to word this but I feel like I am too actualized for them. So I end up feeling like I should just be alone because having a boyfriend makes me feel like they can't relate to me so I end up dragging myself down to their level vibrationally and they start to feel like a toxic anchor to me. They have no knowledge or interest in the things I enjoy, they are stuck in the mode of "sitting around smoking weed watching video games and tv" EVERY weekend. My most recent boyfriend was an extreme example of this. That's all he did on weekends and that's all he wanted to do with me. I took him to a few spiritual music festivals that are life-changing for everyone that attends, but not him...he felt uncomfortable and left early and it caused a major rift between us and we ended up breaking up partly because of that. It really hurt me to end that relationship because he said I made him happier than he's ever been, and he was alone and depressed for 5 years before meeting me, all his other exes left him too so I felt guilty leaving him but I just knew it wasn't going to work with us being so different. Even when we were together, I still made plans for festivals and camping, and most of the time ended up going alone. I did more things alone than with him. When I would tell him about a new book I got, he wouldn't even ask me what it was about. When I would tell him I want to eat healthy, he would buy me pizza just so we could eat together. When he would come over and I'd have an educational documentary on, he would sit down and grab the remote and ask if I wanted to watch wrestling or some fictional tv show with a subject matter I couldn't have cared less about. My relationship before this last one was mostly the same way, he just wanted to sit and watch movies and tv shows, and when I would show him my arts and crafts stuff I was working on, he would laugh and not know what to say and it made me feel judged. He did go to music festivals with me but instead of using it as a spiritual experience, he would go just to do drugs and meet new people to do drugs with. I feel like no matter who i'm with, I am pretty much alone. Can anyone relate to this problem? I do want to be in a relationship but it seems like I am never happy in them because I am too "actualized" and end up feeling like they might as well be an alien because they are so different from me. It seems like most men are like this, not just ones I date but also male friends, my brother, etc. I feel like it's going to be a very lonely life for me if I can't find someone who is actually interested in making themselves a better person and has an interest in me making myself a better person.

elsewhere: a retrospective. I have finally made it to Elsewhere. Tomorrow, I will move out of my parent's place and into an intentional community focused on personal growth and connecting with nature. What will I discover? Who will I meet? What treasures will I unearth along the way? Tune in next week to find out! Jokes aside, this has been a hell of a year, both literally and figuratively. Let's copy/paste the bullet points from my first post on this topic and see what I have accomplished thus far (comments on each point in red): Issues: Chronically low self-esteem. I spent most of my young adult life being bullied and sucking up to others. Now I subconsciously believe I'm unworthy. I also believe that I don't deserve to get what I want. Hence the spiritual ego, hence the desire for purity in mind, body, and spirit. Spiritual ego is pretty much gone, but the feelings of unworthiness are still sneaking around. Chronic social anxiety. I'm years behind in my social skills. I notice my subtle body contracts whenever I'm around people. I feel like I'm being judged all the time. Much, much better. I'm finally "catching up." Knee-jerk depression. It's 50% gone since I re-introduced meat back into the diet, but I still have some lows here and there. All gone. Being an INFJ and HSP, especially in a society that wants everything opposite to my personality. I judge myself harshly and beat myself up for not being like everyone else. Not anymore. I'm okay with being weird. ADHD. Again, tweaking the diet's helped a ton with this. Almost completely gone. Supporting myself financially. Uhhhh, what's a jorb? Still working on this one. I'm working towards a couple certificates that will potentially help me pay bills in the future. More on that in another post. Body tensions. Improved a lot since starting hatha yoga, but still terrible posture, back pain, and psychosomatic issues. Posture is noticeably better. Back pain is still there, but much more bearable. Foam rolling and massage balls at night are helping, too. I don't know how to be a friend. No, seriously. I have acquaintances, but virtually no friends. I don't reach out to people, not even my brother. I don't know how. I've been reaching out to people over the past few months, although I don't usually notice it when I do it. This will improve in the coming months. Sexual repression. Likely due to past heartbreaks and weird Freudian shit in childhood. Still repressed, but much more acceptance of my sexual quirks. Living in a town surrounded by old retirees as a twenty-something. I've met other twenty-somethings and like-minded people that meet my needs. Desires: I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to love myself as I am. Definitely feel more comfortable in my skin. Still working on the self-love thing. I'd say 40% improvement in this realm. I want to be comfortable around everyone. I want to be as open as possible. 30% improvement. I want to serve others. Will soon get a certificate that involves serving others. I want to feel joy again. Done. I want to find my place. I found a place. Just not sure if it's my place. I want to be able to commit to things and focus without abandoning ship at any sign of failure. 15% improvement. Needs work. I want to choose what I watch on Youtube instead of the other way around. 65% improvement. MUCH better. I don't get lost in the youtube clickbait as much as I used to. In the meantime, I'd like to have an enjoyable day job that doesn't sap my energy, so I can support myself. Sort of done. Again, those certificates will help me in the near future. I'd like to feel like I'm actually in my body and not feel like an alien. Nope, still an alien. But definitely more in my body. Having a friend scares me and feels too labor-intensive, but I think it would be nice to try. I have a friend now! I'd like to try dating again at some point. Needs work. I want to live on my own again. Done. Phew. Another chapter of my life - done. I'm really leaving the nest this time. I'm a smorgasbord of excited, terrified, nervous, surrendered, incapable, and capable. On the edge of a diving board, waiting to jump into the chrome ooze from Super Mario 64, totally clueless of the outcome. We'll jump, and we'll see. That's life, right?

LWAM Season 1, episode 8 Hey The Black Eyed Peas! Three words can describe my current existence: Out and about. This summer was the exact opposite of last year's, which I spent mostly inside alone, meditating and contemplating about existence. I based my introversion on my sensitivity to the outside world and general disinterest in humans which, as it turns out, is just an exaggerated half truth based on fear. I had 3 main tasks: 1. Step out of my comfort zone. 2. Do things I haven't done before. 3 Meet new people. The end results were: not sleeping for 30 hours straight, sleeping at random places in public, getting constantly asked for drugs because it's peculiar to be so happy sober, playing at a kids' park, actually opening up to strangers, hooking up with said strangers, getting high with said strangers, getting random insights sporadically, complete loss of anxiety, dancing for 7 hours straight, being outside of my head for once and having constant THIS IS GOD moments. Few specific ones come to mind. I woke up from the world's most uncomfortable nap on a statue in Budapest, would not recommend btw, and saw a guy randomly doing yoga next to me. The timing of him doing the poses was impeccable and in his movements I saw God. I witnessed recovering addict's story and could feel his pain and the struggle he went through while also having the deep realization that all of that was God too, the rock bottom and the hopelessness that accompanied it were absolute perfection in a very brutal sense. I overslept and was running late to a train and had 12 minutes to run through the whole city to make it and while I was running like a maniac I had 2 thoughts. One was naturally:" I'm not going to make it" over and over again and the other was: it's startling I get to experience this, running like all hell, people looking at me like I'm insane whilst melting due to the hot weather. I can't believe this is happening. I know this is God! At a festival a guy stood up in front of the stage and started to cry while having the biggest smile on his face and the sun started to come out and I teared up with him because it was so beautiful. When I was done dad dancing at a club and started to observe people, it felt very strange to watch them. It felt as though I saw humans for the very first time and got this unshakeable feeling like I was on an alien planet. This human mask we wear was seen through as a facade and it was the funniest thing ever. My best friend broke up with me. The pain I felt seemed almost comforting, sadness different. Usually I'd go down a suicidal rabbit hole, reinforcing old beliefs about people, bringing back trust issues, but for the first time that didn't happen. There was a deep knowing that all the memories we shared and the love I had for her and the loss I experienced were the same thing-God. I used to be so afraid of interaction and rejection, but now I see engaging with people worth it, no matter what the outcome ends up being. This has been a shock therapy of sensations, emotions and people and even though I feel tired, I'm very grateful for the glorious lessons I would otherwise miss out on if I hadn't gone outside. End credits: See the lord and all the mouths he feeds Let it roll among the weeds Let it roll Directed by an exhausted ex misanthrope.

@Viking is it possible you are struggling with vocabulary? I know that if I ever read a good book I'm often looking up definitions. I have mild dyslexia and one thing that happens to me when reading a sentence is that I'll read half of the sentence and be very confused, but then after finishing the sentence and paying attention to the position of commas the sentence will make sense. The pauses you take and the specific chunks of words you take in at a given moment in time when reading a sentence can distort meaning, and I've often found myself falling for this trap. It's impossible to avoid this trap completely as it is the case that sentences can have two very slightly different, yet equally valid, meanings depending on your interpretation. However, this difference should be small. Another thing that bear in mind is that complicated words don't make the message of a sentence that much more complex than the type of sentence used in day to day life. I've been reading a maths book "set theory and logic" recently (it has lots of verbal commentary) and I've found that sentences which have a simple meaning can be worded in unfamiliar ways such that they feel alien and unnatural to read at times. All this type of stuff gets better with practice. If dyslexics can find a way to read so can you.

@CreamCat the way I see it all possibilities are true what gives it truth is merely your belief in it there are those who belief humans were placed on earth from a different planet as slaves to cultivate Gold for them and then overtime, we gained knowledge and freedom from our alien masters and now live here on earth as our home another theory is that of the science of evolution with the life evolving on earth then there is the theory from the bible/quran/religions about adam/eve being placed on earth as the 1st pair of humans and life went on from there ALL ARE POSSIBLE IN ABSOLUTE INFINITY and what gives reality to one out of the these 3 or heck, 100s more theories is mere your belief in it! that's just it so what david ick says, sure it's possible, what someone else says, that too is possible it's all pick and choose really Mandela effect a great way to see this happen at one point in time, the earth was believed to be flat (heck, even now in 2018 many of the people online believe in it, comment about it, 1000s of videos about flat earth) those people have their reasons for believiing in it. a flat earth is also possible in aboslute infinnty. they have models explaining how it can work with a flat earth anyhow. yolo.

Title isn't just a clickbate - It's true that I followed Leo advice and ended in mental hospital with psychosis, but it doesn't mean that Leo advice are always bad. I need to take full responsibilty for my actions and I can't blame Leo for that. The reason for this topic is to look for help and to share my story for others. Addicted to games/internet/media since childhood I'm in my early twenties now. When I was like 4yo I got my first playstation and that was the beggining of me diving into virtual world. As a teenager I began to close myself even more and spend more time in front of my PC screen. When I went to University the problem was already huge, whenever I felt bigger stress I was escaping to my smartphone or laptop. Finally, after wasting so much time I decided in 2017 to end my addiction. I was following Leo channel for 2 years now. I watched his video called Overcoming Addiction - The Root Cause Of Every Addiction and I really understood what he told in that episode. I realized that it's due to fear of emptiness that I can't stand. The solution he suggested was: mindfulness meditation do nothing technique strong determination sittings After that I saw Leo reply's for those topics: I decided to put end to my addiction and cause I didn't know how to meditate effectively for 10 day straight I decided to go on the 10 day Vipassana retreat. I didn't had stable meditation habit before my retreat, so I went for hardcore practise without any training before. Vipassana retreat For first four days nothing extraordinary was happening. On the fifth day I was feeling so much love and compassion, I went to my teacher to told him about my experiences and he said that it's completely normal and most people experience it at the end of the course. On the day 6 I went to my teacher at the meditation hall after last meditation (it was strong determination sitting meditation) and I said to him that I arrived on Vipassana due to my internet addiction. He said that we won't talk about it now, cause it's private thing and he said that I need to wait for the next day. After that converstation I was going to my room and I lost control. Very strong emotions hit me and I couldn't control them. I was near the canteen and I saw one of the students there and I decided to be near him during my experience. It was something like purification I was alternately crying and laughing. At the end of this experience I thought that I will pass out and after that I said without my control "it's ok, there's nothing to fear about, just observe". I said this even that I knew the rules, that I can't talk to other students. Immediately after that I went to manager to tell my story, he and teacher calmed me down and I went to my room. On the day 7 I went through two strong determiation sittings. At the 5pm I realized that I could pass out and after that, teacher decided that I should end the course. I went to the motel near Vipassana retreat and I slept maybe there for about two hours. When I woke up it was the beggining of my psychosis episode. Psychosis episode & mental hospital I won't write about my whole psychosis episode cause this post will be too long. Instead I will just write the most weird parts of my psychosis episode: From strong introvertism I was strong extraverth. In the motel after I woke up I was catching up to people and talking. I felt like every they word means something and like I was understanding on the deeper level. One guy told me that he never saw anyone so open in 10 years, but others did not respond so well to my hooks. I was moving in time like I went to next century. I asked my father about the time and he was not able to tell me what the time is. He was checking his watch and he was not able to tell me exact time. I felt during worst parts like I can talk with other conscious people and I was shouting my name and age and something like this "It's my first Vipassana course. I don't want to go further, leave me alone". I was mostly talking that in car with my father (we were going back to my hometown) and sometimes I felt like deeper conciousness was talking through my father and sometimes we were back on the 1st level (normal existence). I was feeling like I had so many open wounds in me, I was extremally sensitive. For example I was fearing electronics items, if I heard ringtone I was fearing it so much. It was probably deeply connected to my internet/media addiction. I was fearing that we play some game and I couldn't go to sleep. I thought that maybe I am still on the Vipassana course and everything that is happening is just a dream, and I will wake up eventually. I was born again - Between day 8 and day 9 (since first day on Vipassana) my girlfrend was sleeping with me and I couldn't move (probably because of fear) and I asked if I can open my eyes. It was extremally dark, but I just managed to do it like new born baby. Probably I was close to experiencing death during my psychosis "trip". I was an alien... and this was the most weird part of whole "trip". On day 9, when I arrived with my parents to hometown, I was talking in english "deeper wisdom", "deeper inteligence" and was talking with high pitched voice to my girlfrend and my mom naming them "feminine" and to my father with lower voice naming him "masculine". The root cause of calling them "masculine" and "feminine" may have been due to converstation with my teacher on day 7 where I told that I can feel masculine and feminine energy inside me. On day 9 my mother, father and girlfrend couldn't reach out to me and calm me. I was feeling like God - I felt so special and it was like I have everything I need inside. I wanted to go outside of my house and just experience life and I wasn't fearing anything. I was talking about drugs like Ayauasca, and I don't remember that part. My mother told me that I said that. In fact I don't remember few more facts like I losed being concious. Everything in me was completely out of my control. I was talking about Leo and I thought like he is one of the strongest force that is pushing me forward in my psychosis. I was misleading people and naming them using internet persona. For example I was learning programming from guy X and I was naming person close to me as X. I was also talking about 5-MeO-DMT, but probably cause I heard that from Leo. Never took any psychodelic to attain enlightenment or for any other reason. Above list is just a collection of a few experiences during my psychosis episode. When I arrived to hospital I don't remember first few days. I landed in solitary room in psychatric hospital, cause my psychosis episode was that strong. Strong ego, psychosis, kundalini syndrome or... what? I spent almost 3 weeks in hospital and it's now almost 2 months after my psychosis episode. I'm still on my psychotropic medications. When I arrived to home from hospital I was really weak, sometimes it was hard for me to get out from bed. I felt like my whole nervous system was devastated, my hormons level were probably out of control. I was and I am still fearing normal, social situations and I have strong irrational fear/tension. I can't live normal life now cause meeting people makes me really stressed out. I went to hairdresser last week and I had panic attack - I had heart palpitations, my hands were sweating and I felt like I will die. I don't know how I will get back on my University cause in October I need to be back in shape for studing. My body and my mind (fear, tension) are not ready for sitting in classes for hours. I don't know exacly what happened to me, but doctors said that it was strong psychosis episode. You guys know much more about energy, kundalini awakening and other things and I beg for advice/help. I wonder how can I recover faster, cause since I left hospital month ago I am sleeping for 10-11 hours and living very basic, simple life - I sit mostly in my house and going for walks once a day. I can't meditate right now, cause I fear to close my eyes and sit still for extended period of time. If you can help me please reply to this thread. If you need more information about my psychosis trip let me know, I can explain each part with more details if that's necessary. @Serotoninluv, @Nahm, @cetus56, @aurum, @Leo Gura

@Buba Everything you've described so far sounds like Eckhart Tolle's experience with a similar situation. In the introduction of the Power of Now he describes: "Until my thirteith year, I lived in a state of almost continuous anxiety interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. It feels now as if I am talking about me past lifetime or somebody else's life. One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute red. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train - everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live. 'I cannot live with myself any longer.' This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. 'Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the 'I' and the 'self' that 'I' cannot live with.' ' Maybe, only one of them is real.' I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words 'resist nothing,' as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that. I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet i knew that i had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. Picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all. That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on Earth, as if i had just been born into this world. For the next five months, I lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss. After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity, or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state. I could still function in the world, although I realized that nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had." It only gets better from here. If you want to hear directly from someone who has gone through literally the exact same thing as you and come out the other side 'as if I had just been born into this world' and 'in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss' then get this book the Power of Now.

I really love her work. I know there's fishy stuff floating around her (her haters are also very hateful, whatever she did) but she does take the time to explain herself in that video. And even if, maybe, some of the stuff she said in the past was actually fake, or she behaved in a toxic way, but then she evolved and is leaving that behind. Is that not a reason to take what is good to take in her teachings? The only thing that still makes me frown is her talks about her being an alien or something. This video will be incriminating for the vast, vast majority of people, yet I still trust her because her other teachings are so good (well, it's been like one year or so that I've been subscribed to her channel, so I've only seen recent stuff I guess, but yeah) I'm very, very open-minded. But of course this alien thing makes me think. Oh well, worst case scenario, take what resonates and leave the rest I guess.

I would love some alien girlfriend

Unless you're an alien, that's not possible. And even then ...

@Devil I am all of them and none of them!!! Dude, you are trapped in a concept. It doesn't matter what the concept is. You could be arguing about how life is explained by the Tao te ching, or Spiral Dynamics, game theory, neuroscience , Winnie the Poo, Jesus, psychedelics, alien races, Yoga or Detroit Becomes Human. There are countless of stories and games about life. They are lots of fun. Yet, at the end of the day - it's just a theory. Don't get trapped in any one game. It's super easy to get trapped in one way of thinking.

So this is part of something I've been trying to articulate and synthesis for the last 10 years or so. There's been many influencers and life experiences that have gotten this view to this point (Leo being one of them, we seemed to have had very identical awakening experiences). It's not complete and probably will never be, but I wanted to put it up and see what people thought in its current iteration. Isn't it true all current models and opinions of reality (or perhaps anything for that matter) take their position based upon evidence that comes through human experience (since, well there’s only humans having these conversations on this planet). This can include experiences ranging from the subjective experiences of individuality, division, separation, distance, and time, to the mystical classifications of experiences, such as no-time, oneness, being, a sense of god or being god, or non-duality. For example doesn’t science seems to make claims about reality based upon the 5-6 subjective senses of human experience or pose questions on the subject of something called “objective matter” based on such. A simple claimed given (experience) of up, down, left, right seems to require the subjective sense of such to make such a proposition and base further science on. Or doesn’t time require a agreed upon constant or measurement and subjective experience to point to and form a questions about or make a claim about. For example the statement I dropped a ball down the hole at 30 miles per hour seems to be coming from a unquestioned agreement that a “ball” went “down” a hole (subjective seen/felt experience) at “30 mph” (agreed upon seen/felt/labeled subjective experience). From my experiences of “non-duality/oneness” such a statement seems silly because there is nothing moving in any direction at any speed, all is one with no division, there are no moving parts, all is experienced as oneself. AND, the position of non-duality seems to be a experience of its own claim resting on “self/subjective experience” as proof of its own a statements (purists would argue neither subjective or objective, but a merger of the two). And interestingly at the same time, neither is invalidated, since both could hold the position of a possible actual truth. Free will is another that can be looked through this lens. Isn’t free will only proven by the self/subjective experience of such. There doesn’t appear to be objective proof of this accepted notion. And same for determinism, no-free will, the everything is happening out of our control, a result of genes, determined by the brain, effected by the environment. None of these seem to have actual proof that is not arrived at from anything other then the subjective senses/experience or measurements coming from a subjective sense/experiences. And yet again interestingly, none of these can be invalidated. Now I don’t want people to get the idea that there is no experience (because experience seems to be the only constant in this framework of comparison,and no I’m not saying there can’t be something without experience because its very real that the sun could exist without an experiencer, but thats a topic for another day), but the claim that materialism/individuality, free will/determinism, oneness/non-duality seem unprovable and rest upon a particular type of experience to prove their claim about reality and all further expressions from them. Experience seems to be whats most real, profound and an unknowable mystery, encompassing the very ability to feel and see everything so far spoken about as ones life, neither validating or invalidating the materialism or non-duality/oneness views. This claim seems to have implications into the realms of psychology/morals/reasoning as well. A realm in which everything seems self referenced. Is this right or wrong, good or evil, for example, a questions that for a materialist/individual appears to be asked to oneself and an answer appears, generally backed by reasons on a felt/believed sense and backed by life experience/conviction. The same question asked to a “evolving” individual/non-dual/more encompassing “realizer” is again answered from a self referenced experiential sense/experience using the words such as knowning, realizing, seeing, felt in the heart, etc (all subjective/self referenced)(and yes I’ve been here). Again experience seems to be the constant here in both, but the actual of the content remains a profound mysterious happening, that can take the many infinite forms between materialism, and non-duality/oneness, the yet created, the neither of these, and perhaps in alien unthinkable dimensional experiences incomprehensible by humans. Also I’m not saying science is not useful or value judgements should not happen because obviously these have some human benefit, which maybe needs some addressing in this piece (or another piece). But that far to often we find ourselves battling with the opposing camp we find ourselves in (and even within ourselves) on matters if we are honest with, we will find that our basis for being right boils down to the same thing, our "Experience".

So I just had a very odd dream where I took 5meo-DMT. It's hard to remember in full but I'll do my best to explain it. So the setting was odd, it sort of reminded me of the videogame known as Resistance, all I remember is it seemed almost war torn and a bit post-apocalyptic/alien. Martin Ball was in it and he was the one administering the drugs, I remember there where many buckets of icecream there as well, like it was comfort food for a bad trip or something, I remember being a little thrown off by that and thinking it was kinda stupid. When it was my turn to take the drugs I was laying down and Martin was kneeling at my feet, I don't know how I took them. Did he inject my feet with 5meo? Did he put it up my ass? Some questions may never be answered, but I just remember being disappointed by the effects. I remember a surge of tingling sensation/energy going from my mid section outwards, so from around my heart and gut chakra to my arms and then my hands, my legs and then my feet, also to my balls which felt very weird and uncomfortable, the whole thing felt slightly uncomfortable, like my body was ready for a death trip but couldn't quite get there, I remember flying up into the air and seeing the landscape stretch like a piece of rubber, buildings being separated further from one and other. I can't remember much else from my "trip" I just remember being disappointed. Another Unrelated Dream I Had In The Same Night: So my best friend recently committed suicide and last night he was in a very odd dream of mine. I think I was in his home town of Winnemucca but I'm not sure, I was with my dad, we were riding a dirt bike, all 3 of us were somehow riding the same dirt bike, it was just me and my dad but then we picked up my friend, we saw a drop off on the side of the intersection, my dad just fucking drove off it, but it's okay because there was a ramp at the bottom so we landed perfectly. I don't remember much else from the dream, later I was left with the dirt bike to myself and I was driving around in the dirt, a voice in my head was making commentary on the indestructibility of dirt tires, I then went to ride the bike on the road but remembered that I don't have a licences and this vehicle isn't street legal so I pulled off to the side and started walking the bike, I saw a very odd looking police car that wasn't really a police car, I think it was an animal patrol van with police sirens and lights on top, it pulled me over, a guy got out and said something like "I'm not here to give you a ticket today, I'm here to give you your package that came in the mail." I woke up before I had time to see what it was, I think I already know what it was.

Enlightenment is said to be the ultimate Truth, irreducible, self-evident and nothing can be more obvious. That means if Enlightenment somehow falls on someone's lap who never had an idea such a thing existed, it should be crystal clear what is happening and where he is at. But the Enlightenment stories of people like Eckhart Tolle, Ramana Maharshi, Jed Mckenna (just to name a few) kind of say otherwise. These people were generally ignorant about the whole non dual thing. When they got Enlightened either by accident or by the natural introversion of their mind, their initial response was probably not ''YES! I've known the ultimate nature of Reality, there is nothing else to know'' ; but more like '' wtf has happened to me?''. They would later spend years looking for answers to what actually happened to them in various philosophies and when they come across non dual philosophy, then they would confirm that these scriptures are verifying their present experience. So does it mean that this whole Enlightenment business has to be done like Advaita proposes? Namely putting up the hypothesis of Ultimate Truth, followed by honest philosophical inquiry, followed by the direct realization of the hypothesis? It makes me wonder about the very first few people who got Enlightened. Navigating after Awakening must've been so alien to them. I know trying to talk about post-enlightenment is barely possible and waste of time in most cases yet I'd appreciate it if some light is put on this matter from one's own experience. PS: By Enlightenment, I do not mean a glimpse that came and went as if nothing happened but a permanent shift after which there is no going back. I mean the point where the 'victim's' whole life turned upside down in some sense. @Leo Gura @Shanmugam @Saumaya @Azrael @cetus56 and every other Enlightened fella here I forgot to tag

Never make babies. There must be only 500 million people living on Earth otherwise all of you die. Electric is coming from Earths magnetic field. Do not use electric you are consuming Earths magnetic field. We are living in electricity that stacked around Earth. Sunlight can decay and it can become magnetic energy. As Earth consumes sun light it generates magnetism and it gets bigger and stronger. Also Earth can make energy by destroying atoms like nuclear fusion stuff. Basicly humans are stealing energy from Earth. Most of energy is consumed by industry, factories, machines, motors, engines. They say climate change is HOAX, they say rich people are not evil, they say government always here to help you. Do not trust; go insane and save the world from liars. They will say electric is infinite and it is not coming from Earth; who cares; we can kill all life on Earth whenever we want. And if Earths magnetic field shrinks, you will die because of it. Earths magnetic field doesnt effect Earths core. They also told you there is no god, Earth is not alive, science is real, ghosts doesnt exist, aliens are not ruling the Earth. Cant you see, you are a slave and everyone else is lying to you. Basicly USA completely under control of invisible vampire demons that came from Saturn. You are just a slave. Youtube, Facebook, Google, TV all filled with lies. Secret censorship, making your account invisible to people in internet. And if you write something to internet they put you in prison and secretly murder you. Tap water is poisonous, everything filled with chemicals that making you stupid. You are a slave and even food you eat made for making you obeydient. You know what, we dont care. Afterall i am immortal and you are just emotionless animals. Even you die; i am living at the core of Earth; nothing can kill me. Pentagram, satanism, Venus, Saturn, Illuminati, triangle, G. Okey; When Earth revolves around sun 8 times, Venus revolves around sun 13 times and in this time Venus passes Earth 5 times and Venus draws a pentagram around Earth. And this is called Venus Pentagram. Basicly 13 is sacred number of Venus. 8 is sacred number of Earth also Natzis and werewolves used 88. Now did you understand that satanism is a real religion and it is religion of Venus and Nasa knows that. Saturn is 6th planet if you count sun it is 7th planet. Saturn have got blue pentagrams at its south pole and north pole. Saturn ate its own satellite and ancient greeks knew that because they had got super natural powers. Saturn has nearly 62 satellites. So if you see ring, hexagon, 6, 7, 60 stuff, cube (cubes are secretly hexagon) that just means Saturn. And it means they are working for alien entities they are evil; they hate Earth. 65 million years ago Earth stole core of Venus, Mars, Moon and all of this planets lost their magnetic field and because of life is electric all of this planets completely died. Today people of Venus living on Earth and they are blue and low ones greeneyed people. Most of them have got rh negative blood. All green eyed people are very racist and they all member of a secret organisation. They belong to Europe. Arabs, africans came from moon. Allah is actually god of moon. Chinese, turkish people came from Mars. Mars always helped to Earth. Earth mostly ignores the humans because nearly all humans idiot or evil or obeying to aliens. If a planet doesnt have magnetic field that planet is completely lifeless. Life is magnetism or electric they same thing. When Earth became one with Venus, Moon, Mars. Suddenly Earth got bigger and continents started to move and they are cracked so continents formed suddenly. And Earths gravity is increased so big life forms became unable to move; and they died. Only small dinosaurs survived and they became tiny animals. Before union Earths gravity were so weak so nearly everything were able to fly, glide, jump, climb because of that you are seeing very big flying dinosaurs and feathers on land dinosaurs. Basicly even Trex was a bird. Even biggest dinosaurs had feathers. Today this dinosaurs cant even stand because their body are too heavy for their avian light weight bones. Also humans are island chimpanzees. Humans evolved in water and they were eating clams and all other stupid defenseless sea things. Dont you know humans are best swimming chimpanzees. Humans dont have hair so water just slides from your skin also you dont have penis bone so your bodies are lighter. And all structure of female genitals same with Killer Whales. Basicly humans carry Chimpanzee, seal, killer whale, dolphin DNA bcause humans adapted to water. Also some humans lived underground and survived by selling gold for food. In underground you are safe from cold climate. Some people said humans mined gold for alien entities; in ice age humans were starving to death and they gave gold to aliens for food. Humans mostly behave like hamsters; they are greedy, they want more, they rape, they are cannibal, they are lazy, they get fat. Rich people always wanted to rape all women but people were getting married when they are 11 years old and everyone had a husband. So rich people said you cant get married until you are 18 years old and rich people still rape 13 years old girls because laws and rules only for slave humans. So you cant have sex with 13 years old girl but rich people can. Also everyone else is trying to sell their daughters to rich men so people are trying to enslave each other. Everyone want paper money and people are killing each other for getting rich. Rich people have got hundreds of wives and if you have sex with women they say it is rape, it is abuse but when rich people insert needles to your tits it is okey because they pay to you paper money for it. Also rape is illegal and women are asexual, women are lesbian, women are coward; so how will you have sex with women? Because of rape is illegal women are not having sex with us because women only has sex 4 times in a month and they only drop 1 egg and they only have got 80,000 eggs. So if we dont force women to have sex; each men will need 30 women to have enought sex because men masturbate 5 times every day. While men is having sex 5 times in a day women are only having 1 time sex in a week. So you are very stupid and today we have porn we know how rich people are doing with women. So i dont want to watch porn anymore, i want to be rich guy that hired the porn girl and i dont want to be rich; i just want the girl. So game is over; this is end of your happy days. I am a human. I have got human rights. I want to rape everyone else because i have got feelings, i filled with love and i am very healthy. So just like a healthy hamster; i will force everything to have sex with me because this is in my DNA, it is in my nature. Your laws are stupid. You live my life and get satisfied, i will live your life. I will have sex with your sex partners and you will be the guy who is masturbating and getting insane because you are stupid and i am god of the Earth. Science is a lie. If electronsc are revolving around atom than why they dont want to touch to atom; why do they revolve around atom and why they are able to move to a different atom; you know electrons can transfer to another atom this is how electric moves. Also many people talked about aliens, vampires, ghosts, demons but science still saying they do not exist. What about double slit experiment, quantum mechanics, mandela effect? Also scientists are talking about time travel but does time really exist? If time is exist doesnt that mean super natural things are real? What about parallel universes, are they really exist this things are very stupid and scientists really believe to them. They said there is 12 dimensions in universe but this dimension stuff doesnt exist. Science is illogical do not trust to science. Scientists always lie. When they say mystery; it means it is fake and they are lying to you. Medicines are bad for health. They are clonning humans and killing clones for taking their organs so rich people can live 120 years even they drink alcohol and take heroin. Would you kill your clone for taking his organs so you can live longer? Or would you eat your clone? Also they are making boring video games so you get a job and get married instead of playing video games. And intentionally making HD video games so you have to buy an expensive computer for playing that game. They dont want poor people to play video games or get addicted to it. They also made human slaves with blue blood. This slaves have got computer as a brain and their movements under control. They are basicly robots that made of human meat. And they made robot soldiers but this robots killed friendly soldiers so they didnt completed them. Also robots can get hacked and stolen. And what happen if you plant poison bomb in someones brain; he has to obey to you otherwise his brain will melt and he will die. They done all of this. Area 51, secret government places you get shoot if you go. As you can see government dont let you to know some stuff. They all lies. What you believe real becomes real. You can create humans and animals by using quantum mechanics and your observation. If you see ghosts or delusions that means you have got super natural powers. Use them to destroy. Also i have got ability of knowing everything, being smarter than everyone, detect super natural beings, create weak useless magnetic ghosts, bringing bad luck, causing machines to get broken, being stinky and warmer than other humans, blocking super natural abilities of vampires. That was the lore of real universe. Good luck to you in your adventures 1331 88 MEW 44 907 8 8 JUNO

@Outer I heard that as well. But he was in a state of total bliss for that period, and there was no desire to do anything arising in him but to just be. And when desire arose he got up and left. This is surrender. Something almost alien to my own mind.

The Sumerian clay tablets attribute the story to Enki (belonging to a group of alien beings called the Anunnaki who came to Earth from Nibiru, a twelfth planet in our sun system with an elliptical orbit) who genetically modified beings on earth.

I've never been interesting in what I view as "supernatural stories", it doesn't matter if it's dualistic religions, if it is UFO's, if it is David Icke's theory on lizards that run the show, or if it is any other spiritual conspiracy. I just view it all as nonsense. But for some reason Enki stands out in this category that i normally view as nonsense, it seem to have some truth to it, not just a stupid made up story or conspiracy like those UFO stories and other crap. According to Enki, the world turns, and the life scenarios of all people eventually turn into scenarios that are undesirable, if not in this lifetime, then in future lifetimes. Enki, the chief scientist of the alien invaders, stated: “for what shall come to pass by what had passed shall be determined; and what was destined shall in a cycle be repeated” (from the Lost Book of Enki, by Zecharia Sitchin). The world, the cosmos, and history turn. There are cycles in nature, on the wheel of life, which repeat through history. It is because of this cyclical turning of the wheel of life that most people, if not all, will eventually get to the position I'm occupying right now and will be able to see, from this vantage point, the truth of what I am saying. I am hoping that the message I’m trying to convey right now will help others gain some clarity in their time of confusion Should we look closer into Enki you think? It might shed some light to the full picture of reality and help us dissolve and get rid of some confusion. What is your opinion on Enki? What do you know of him? And do you believe it all? .

@cetus56 question for you please since all of reality, even our current "normal" and "day-to-day" sober states are a hallucination then does it mean that if i get a monster/alien/demon appear infront of me during meditation or something then it will look 100% "real" as the people around me currently do? and if that's the case, then how does one "surrender" to that... ? like just becoming aware that it is nothing but a mind-trick? but since what we experience is what is "real" - how can i negate the experience of a dark entity which i am seeing in-front of my eyes and heck, that thing even touching or harming me ? is that not equal to me denying or accepting a "real-life" happening . let's say if i am being robbed at gun point. ? in writiing this question a thought/potential answer came to mind that it isn't negating the experience - it is accepting that it is happening? dont resist/panic. stay calm and accept? smile in the face of the demon? i suppose that smile can only really do something if it's genuine at that point otherwise fear cannot be hidden from your own mind i guess ...

@Charlie_B I know so little about Ayurveda, but this is not an alien topic ^^ Great link, thanks Edit: I'll research this field, and do my "test and try"

@Soulbass Herbal infusions are very good if you use the right kind of herbs that suit your body . But, before you opt for herbal infusions try to identify your body type. Below link can help you do that with a quiz. This is just a basic guide to identify the doshas of your body. Depending on doshas, you can choose the right herbs for you. Otherwise a wrong herb can aggravate your doshas and create unnecessary problems in the long run. If you are serious about finding the right combination that works then Its better you do some research further, before settling for an infusion as all infusions doesn't work for everyone alike. May be I'm proposing an entirely alien topic for you, but hope that it helps you make the right choices. https://www.banyanbotanicals.com/info/ayurvedic-living/learning-ayurveda/vata-pitta-and-kapha/ Good luck.

people have completely forgone their form I usually like to share how I experience enlightenment, especially in regards of the constant visual evolution, one that is sober, fueled by inner chakra activation or in other concepts the inner dmt release its come to a moment where people look like what I would have imagined an alien to look like, if I ever imagined what I would feel seeing the body of an alien a divine alien body, alien yet human, sometimes fantasy like, it sometimes feels like I'm in lord of the rings, sometimes in a science fiction world, sometimes in heaven the visual rendering of human bodies including my own is constantly changing, intimately tied to the clarity released and remembered every moment, in sync with feelings and vibrations life becomes a movie, a dream, an imaginative creation everything we have imagined in movies, in fiction, the atmosphere, the feelings, the possibilities, the energy, the creations, all that is native to us and once the illusion between fiction and reality evaporates the dream of life reveals, begins that is my personal opinion, my personal experience enlightenment is so vast, there is definitely a lot of joy and excitement and fun in it, and love

I don't want people's opinions, only speak of you have a well rounded, experiential knowledge of the difference between thinking and becoming aware (if there is one). What is it that "awareness" brings to the table (that "thinking" does not) that seems to cause us to wake up from the matrix of our own mindlessness? What is the difference between 'thinking' and 'being aware'? (No strange, alien vocabulary, keep it basic and easy to understand, I'm not familiar with all the existentialist lingo yet.)

So I was reading this book called the Law of One (Full length PDF can be found here) and I found it to contain some valuable information. It was also an eye opener for me to see how my level of open-mindedness has increased drastically in the past few years, but with that came the fear that I was being too open-minded. A quote came to mind: "It's good to keep your mind open, but not so open that your brain falls out". The book is written in a question/answer format between the questioner and the alien race "Ra" speaking through a woman. This was rather easy for me to accept however I found it troubling that I could never really know for sure, save for some personal experience with channeling or the people involved in the book. The main goal of Ra was to communicate the Law of One which is basically non-duality so in that aspect there was a lot of good information. The part that was really challenging to believe, but equally challenging to disbelieve was when they would talk of the "Confederation of Planets in the Service of the Infinite Creator". Its basically an organization of around (in their words)five hundred planetary consciousness complexes who have gone beyond our third dimension and into the fourth fifth and beyond. Essentially they exist to serve other beings in their process of spiritual development. Ra talks about how they evolved through the second third and fourth dimensions as a "social memory complex" on the planet Venus, as well as talking about many other races and things happening in space. For example they discuss the "Orion group" which is a particularly malevolent group that they claim cause all sorts of problems here on earth. This kind of information is rather abundant, as is information about many other cosmological events. I found it much harder to make use of this sort of information due to the fact that I cant just pick out the wisdom like when they were talking about non-duality. I would first have to buy into the whole alien confederation stuff before I could do so. My gut feeling is that this is a genuine example of someone channeling an alien race, and I would love to use this information to widen my knowledge of the happenings in this reality. Just like learning about what's happening in Iraq, Pakistan, or Palestine, I would think it beneficial to know about what's happening with other planets and other races. Because of the fact that I have no direct experience with this matter I feel like I cannot really make use of this information, as much as I would like to. Come to think of it I really don't have any experience with the events in Palestine either. I guess the main purpose I have in bringing this up is to get some other opinions on what to do when you come across information like this. Should I believe this information just like when I learn about a different country? After all they both seem to be hearsay until I have direct experiences. I understand the acquiring more beliefs is counter-productive to enlightenment work however I am currently at a stage where I find much joy and meaning in figuring out the little pieces of the universe we find ourselves in. If the information contained in this book is factual then our understanding of our place in the universe will change dramatically. Should I proceed as if true and follow my gut (like when I learn things about foreign governments and societies here on earth) or should I dismiss it due to the possibility that it is just a made up story? Does anyone have any experience with Ra? Or people involved with the book? Are there other sources that confirm what the book is saying? Anyway I highly recommend reading this book regardless because it really does contain some valuable information about non-duality and advancing yourself as a human :). I appreciate any feedback anybody has to offer

Hi, and thanks for taking the time to read this. I'm writing today because I feel very troubled. I've been troubled for a long time, but today is especially bad. When most people use the word "enlightenment" it seems to me they have an idea of someone like Eckhert Tolle or The Buddha, who find themselves in states of such incredible bliss that they're content to sit and stare at the clouds. But I've also read a lot of stories about people who believe themselves to be at least somewhat enlightened, and feel very alien and alone as a result. If I'm at all enlightened I'd fall into the latter group. My entire life I've felt different from other people. Mostly I've always been inclined to think for myself, and it seems to me that the vast majority of people aren't. I've had many wonderful opportunities throughout my life. Most people would say that I was dealt a pretty good hand in life, as far as opportunities go. I had parents who cared enough about me to send me to a good college, though I never wanted to be there, and blew that opportunity. I was fortunate to land a good job in my early twenties, and if I would have stayed with it, I'd be really doing well today, but I found it unfulfilling, and left it. I later went on to develop a successful internet business, where I really had things made, and I threw that away as well. There are plenty of ways I could be making money now, but the truth is that I have no desire to be part of the human world. No amount of money is meaningful to me, and there's nothing I really need. I have very few material attachments; almost none, and I like it that way. I just don't want to be part of the rat race. The more I learn and grow, the less I want to be part of the human world, and that's where I am now. Every day human existence seems more futile to me; I mean the idea of slaving and competing for things that you don't need, and you're just going to lose someday. So I find myself simply killing time, hoping something will happen to change things, but nothing ever happens. I might offend some people by saying this, but most people appear no different than animals to me. They do all the same things animals do, and the vast majority of humans just go along with the rest of the group, like any other herd animal. And very few humans ever really think; once again they just share a brain with everyone else. I could go on about the human race but I don't think that's necessary. I'm hoping someone will understand what I'm saying. It feels like a real curse to me to be someone who's at least somewhat awake, and surrounded by so many people who aren't. It feels like a bad dream I can't wake up from. A question I have is, once you've come to truly understand what's happening here on planet earth, especially as it concerns humans, why would you want to be part of it? Why would you want to be part of an economic system that makes most people slaves...grinding away to provide for their basic needs, while barely getting by? Why would you want to be part of a world so controlled by consumerism? And if you choose not to be part of this world, what are you supposed to do? Sure, you can do good deeds and help to make the world a better place, but as long as so many people remain unconscious (and there are getting to be more and more unconscious people, as our population grows) you're just spraying water on the flames. The key word for me is "alien". I don't literally believe I'm an alien from another solar system, like some people do, but I might as well be, as different as I feel. This leaves me with the perspective of an outsider, watching and shaking my head at the stupid things humans do; as they work their way towards their eventual annihilation. I'm very well informed, and aware of what's going on in the world, and I'm going to tell you that this world isn't becoming a better place. Anyone who believes this world is becoming a better place has their head in the sand. I believe our world is heading for serious trouble, and when that trouble starts, we're going to see just how animal-like homo sapiens can be. In short I feel like I'm trapped on a train headed for a serious crash. I'm alone, amongst billions of people who look just like me, but aren't like me, most oblivious to the reality of our situation. It reminds me of certain nightmares I've had, when I was trapped in hopeless situations, and waking up was the only deliverance, except that in this case, I can't wake up. What I mean is that I can't exit this reality, and enter one more desirable, as one does in the case of waking up from a dream. I've been searching for a long time for someone who genuinely feels the way I do. I'm 100% alone in my situation, and it would be nice not to feel so alone. If you really deep-down understand the angst I'm feeling, feel free to drop me a line (send me a private message), because I'm guessing you could use someone to talk to as well. Thanks, and all the best!