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  1. Welcome it into your heart. It's just as hard as it's easy.
  2. Not doing anything is a choice too. The thing is we sometimes are forced to go into these dark places to realize that they are not the refuge we seek from life. True fear of death is the fear of life. This discussion of free will might look like a conscious act of wanting to live according to Truth. But in the longer game these discussions resurface the hidden subconscious intention of avoiding life from the heart and from vulnerability. That is how Truth is really making itself your teacher. Indirectly, subconsciously, over a longer period of time and in a very hard manner. Unless you can already grasp it in a sense. The unconscious is a far far greater teacher of Truth than the ego might think it can be through grasping things and insights and what not. The hunger for life is something that needs to be cultivated. A little day by day.
  3. You act like you already figured out what "I" is and what "God" is.
  4. I actually experienced the same and went into a semi-psychosis. But after challenging the mental madness barrier it was relatively easy to step back from it. But before the semi-psychosis it was as if something had taken me over. The way i touched her, my sensuality and energy were all from a perfect place of heartfelt intuition. My ego felt very unsafe to let go of that control. She said: "who are you"? 3 or 4 times out of awe. But my ego really took that as: who the fuck am i indeed? Who is doing this all? Which made me paranoid and psychotic. But not for long thankfully ?
  5. We all are. And we're here to help eachother go through that shit. This "method"can really really help you realize the depths of the pools of shit that are waiting to be discovered. More than mental self-reflective exercises. These transmissions are energetic, very subtle but at the same time extreme in its effects if you give it time. What's even more nice: it takes you beyond the minds self-reflective capacities and straight into the subconscious mind. True Self-reflection cannot take place without the language of the subconscious mind which is energy. Which is mostly non-symbolic. Translating this non-symbolic data into language is the real journey. That is true self-discovery and truthful expression. We're full of untranslated non-symbolic data waiting to be expressed. Like the depths of the Pacific. The conscious ego mind is a little pool.
  6. You have zero experience of an energetic transmission my friend. Zero. If you're really honest, be open and receptive. And test it for a couple of years. If you're not willing to do that, its of course ok. But do know you're full of shit. Literally projecting and assuming as a self-biased cynic. Don't believe, just do and test.
  7. Yes, exactly. Being present is actually a full expression of the auric field, thus also the way the inner and outer world communicates or stands in relationship. Being present is to be and to be is to be in relationship. A transmission is the ultimate relationship (far deeper, simpler and yet less attached than what most people understand as a relationship).
  8. Remember to stay grounded. Give lots of attention to physicality and your physical existence. That's the best way. Or else you will be completely disconnected from physical life.
  9. I would advice you to use your own question you ask in this topic. Let that question fuel you and your search from the deepest place. You should want this so bad, that you're willing to give up everything for it. Even the need for being the saint itself in the end. That's much more pure and authentic way than brittle methods like : who is aware? Those methods won't do much. It is that desire that needs to be fueled and at the last burned in the fires of Truth in your heartspace.
  10. I've been doing these transmissions for years and I know pretty much everyone of them except Gary. Thank you for introducing him! Furthermore you have Peter Cutler (incredibly potent Transmissions... these transmissions are the most "bright" and feel like nourishing bright water hahaha): - - And of course Matt Kahn (who is in my opinion the most gifted transmitter of consciousness of this modern era). A tip: Use the intelligence of this energy to express through dance and art. Especially dancing is an incredible way of expressing, getting to know the intelligence, creating syncronization between the left-right brain hemispheres.
  11. Anala chakra ?? What a f*cking foolish topic. But necessary I guess.
  12. Did two inhales of 5meo. I just stumbled upon the substance at a friends house. I'm quiet deep at my healing journey. Done loads of psychedelics (lsd, shrooms, 2cb), shaktipat transmissions, holotropic breathwork and stuff like rapé. But one inhale of 6mg dmt is like nothing else. Currently my consciousness is being anchored deeply into the body. And the 5meo was perfect for that. It gives you exactly what you need. I vomited both times. Purging from every fibre of my being. What an incredible clean substance. I'm not at a stage where i feel drawn to more nondual expansion. I'm at a phase where this limitless consciousness needs expression through grounding into the body and integrating the new found space in the body and world. It will give you exactly what you need. Be careful tho. Maybe that also could mean a misuse of the substance.
  13. You are NOT God. God is you. And you are you. People on this forum are mostly running away from their humanity.