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  1. I think it's very connected in your case. Maybe your desire to not loose your attractiveness comes from fear of rejection. I think it would be key to stop caring what other people think of you. Trust me that's not an easy job. Train unconditional self-acceptance. Try to love your fears. Try to love your problems. And drop your desire to get rid of this problem. If you fuel that desire this can turn out to be very problematic. Desire creates a 'perfect' scenario and thus creates an enormous pressure subconsciously. Perfectionism and anxiety problems go hand in hand.
  2. Guys, I'm trying out a couple of new practices including total acceptance of every moment and thus self-acceptance and gratitude. I actually try to be grateful for every bad emotion and thought i experience at every moment. It's like loving and accepting every "negative" aspect of life. AND be grateful for it. This practice seems to help me big time. I don't really look at them as problems anymore. The feelings in my body are so good. It's like certain emotional scars are being healed and some shit that has been trapped there for ages is coming loose. Especially at the back of my neck, throat, solar plexus/chest and my back. So guys: start loving your anxiety. Don't try to get rid of it. Let go of all desire to get rid of it (VERY IMPORTANT!). By letting go your desires you detach from ideal scenario's... how things "should be". It's a sick paradox and very counter intuitive. But let go. And not only for anxiety problems. For every negative emotion you experience. Be grateful for it. Try to love the fuck out of every negative emotion you experience. A daily meditation practice is crucial for you to be able to "play" with these emotions. You need to train your EQ. Mindfulness is key (check out Leo's videos about emotions and mindfulness meditation). And off course the non-duality work will give you a crazy boost. Anxiety is nothing more than fear of rejection. The inner world (ego) fears rejection from the outer world (people etc.). As Allan Watts stated beautifully: try not to view life as a fight between Yin and Yang. Try to look at it as a beautiful dance between the two. Don't be an emotional junkie. You don't need your fix as badly as you think (feeling good, happy, being perfect etc.). Appreciate the "dark" side of reality. Love it. Embrace it. And drop that counter productive desire to overcome this problem. Peace
  3. My man the ego is the pure source of resistance. Until you're able to completely deconstruct that fucker you'lll always have resistance to reality. Resistance you're completely unaware of. Once the energy starts to hit your crown with 200 mph you'll know what i'm talking about. Maybe you'll be able to handle it. Take a couple of LSD tabs and do some mushrooms trips to test your potential Don't say i didn't warn ya Peace
  4. HAHAH. Aight man. Maybe you're made for this shit, who knows. With great power comes great responsibility
  5. Blessings bro. Thank you very much for the useful advice. Just starting to pick up the meditation habit slowly again (after 3 weeks or so). Feel kinda grounded more or less. Though during my meditation session the energy in the crown kinda got wild again. Annoying and a bit painful at times. I think i'll focus on shadow work the next period. Been neglecting my ego for faaaaar too long brother. Time to fully accept and love the wounded bastard Peace bruv
  6. Really hope that is true for you man. From what i've read they always advice to not play too much with the energy. It's divine stuff and can be dangerous as fuck. Unfortunately experienced this myself. All the best Edit: i've experienced a full blown kundalini awakening btw (from head to base of spine) within a year. Way too fast.
  7. Ignore the energy as much as you can man. Don't try to influence it. I wouldn't focus on it because that can disturb the energy. It can sometimes even feel like throwing fuel on that fire. Breathing exercises made it worse for me when i suffered the most. Ignore it as much as possible. Focus on other spiritual practices if it's too much.
  8. You might want to detach from your desire bro. Just view dating as one big game. Just like life itself. Don't take it so seriously. Don't expect anything. And enjoy the game. Detach and get involved! This is absolute key to anything.
  9. Thank you very much Emerald, much much appreciated! Blessings. Will follow this advice. You are right my man. Also about the ego: i have ignored it for a very long time. I was afraid to apply self-love, because this could strengthen it. Even though everyone said you need a healthy ego to detach from everything, Very neurotic behaviour because of this. Time to take the foot of the pedal.
  10. @Emerald Wilkins Yeah, I don't know if it is a healthy relationship, you know? I have a refugee background, all the struggle she went through as a lonely mom, for me and my sisters, all the tough times and crying. I have the feeling i can never repay her for all those hard times. I almost made it my life mission to keep her happy until she dies. How can i detach from that? Would you advice me to stop meditation completely for a while? My body also feels very tired after this fever. Completely drained.
  11. Were you able to detach from everything? I have the feeling you must give up all your relationships to achieve this level of detachment. How did things work out for you?
  12. Thank you very much for your words. You are right. Attaching to these experience is what the ego does. I'll just integrate certain lessons i learned from it and move on. Bless you.
  13. You are right. But at that moment it did not look like a mere thought. Looked like by detaching from that, i would kill my loved ones and abandone them and above all myself. The fever and Kundalini really fucked me up.
  14. Thank you very much my man. I will let you know. Bless you. By the Universe, i mean knowledge from the unconscious obviously. Don't think that was too hard to understand now was it? Messages from your intuition thrown at you . You should try to develope it. Cool story about the distant galaxy though. Very creative. And trust me, if you'll ever reach the point that you have to detach from the most important thing in your life, then you can come and talk. It literally feels like dying and abandoning everything. Kundalini is no fucking joke.
  15. Thank you very much. I will get things checked out. Bless you. How i feel now? I think i'm gonna take a break from meditation a while now. I can't have that energy going beserk again. My body was/is under immense stress. Lower backpain kills me now.