hundreth

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About hundreth

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  1. Hey, I'm not too sure I'm following, but the idea of consciousness living in the body IS materialism. So you can go back to my original post. Other than that, I think you may have hit on something which is that consciousness creates the "material" realm to express itself. Duality seems to be necessary for expression.
  2. There's a huge practical difference. In the materialist paradigm, you're a collection of atoms, molecules, etc. randomly put together by statistical chance. When your body dies, you die. What ever happens in this paradigm is just a matter of circumstance, yet you shoulder all of the responsibility to somehow manipulate it. On the other hand, all of this lives inside consciousness. That means there is an inherent intelligence to it, it means YOU chose your existence and life. It means you can surrender.
  3. I read your post and it brought me to tears because I resonate at this time of my life. I know everything will be ok eventually, and I'm grateful. I just feel so angry with myself for choosing this sometimes. Much love.
  4. We're all on this journey to awaken, to become more conscious and live more fulfilled and meaningful lives. We meditate and learn about non duality, idealism, quantum mechanics, spiral dynamics, etc. We have this idea that if we meditate and learn enough about spirituality that we'll reach some state of consciousness which liberates us. Maybe we want to escape, maybe we want to help others, maybe we're just curious. We practice and practice and practice, and then suddenly whenever it feels like it, life strikes and you are completely, utterly, powerless. All of your understanding, moments of transcendence, and meditation couldn't prepare you for what life itself wants you to experience and grow from. Pain is coming your way. All the dis-identification in the world won't save you. You chose to be here in your meat suit. Why would you spend all your days trying to transcend it? I am currently going through a personal crisis, and I'm more aware than ever I'm supposed to be going through this. I've had so much practice and study, I've had moments where I've felt liberated, and yet life has humbled me once again. This is a plea to come back to your life, not to transcend it. I urge us to focus on making amends with our egos, and not to disrespect your personal experience by simply calling it an illusion. We need to be more practical, more loving, more accepting, and surrender. Metaphysics isn't enough.
  5. Yeah, conceptually I know this. I thought I was embodying this, but damn does that twin flame show you how far you are from really embodying non duality. That's really the testing ground for enlightenment or spirituality, relationships. If you can survive some dysfunctional relationship dynamics, you're progressing.
  6. Thank you so much. I know at the end of the day it's on me to work through this, but I can't tell you how helpful it is to have a reassuring voice to bridge the gap. It means a lot to me. I just had a breakthrough meditation and think I understand what happened. We're all essentially the same, her, her ex, and myself. We all have no idea how to love ourselves or accept love. She says she always finds fault in whoever she's with, no matter what, and her relationships are always filled with drama. When I thought about her, I could see she wanted Jesus and the devil in the same man. She doesn't know what she really wants. Each of us doesn't know what love is, and so we associate pain and mistreatment with love. Before I got there, she was in an abusive relationship, and my loving presence brought her some solace. But quickly this became unfamiliar and boring to her. And so she did what she always did back when we were together, try to push my buttons and bring that fire out of me so I could mistreat her the way she thinks she wants to be. Our relationship was always up and down because that's the only way for it to be stable. Love to take away the pain from the mistreatment, then the love becomes boring, create drama for pain and attraction. Make up sex. Rinse and repeat ad nauseam. Now she tried the same thing, and I didn't react the same way. I simply got hurt from what she was doing and did not retaliate. Spark over, back to thinking about the ex who will give her the dose of pain she needs. And I'm the same way really, why else would I be so attracted to someone who mistreats me? It's just a cycle. Each of us needs to learn to love ourselves and accept love. Searching for pain as love will never be a stable foundation for a relationship.
  7. I know this is a pretty common topic, but I'm putting it here because of the depth of it. This feels more like a spiritual inquiry than a standard personal development one. Here goes. A few years ago I moved to Israel from the states for some change and met a girl there. We had an intense up and download relationship for over a year. There were such intense highs and intense lows. In the end, I stopped the relationship since it did not seem healthy any longer. I moved back to the states to recover. Since then, I've been focusing on myself, practicing meditation, learning tons about spirituality and trying to work on everything which went wrong for me the year before. A few months ago I did Ayahuasca and this was an amazing experience which showed me I was still hurting over this relationship and still had feelings for this girl. I was talking to her from afar for awhile, we seemed to connect once again, and it felt like we were both working on ourselves. I booked a flight a few months out back to Israel to see her, have a vacation, and visit my family again. Of course in between that time she started dating someone else, and I thought alright, if I get there and she's still dating this guy, no big deal. I'll just focus on myself and have fun there. She ends up having a tough break up with him a week before I arrive. I get there, and while I know the situation isn't perfect, I don't allow it to change how I behave. Instead of being guarded and careful as I used to be when we dated, I wore my heart on my sleeve and loved her. The first couple of nights were great, and it felt like we were connecting again, even though I knew part of it was her getting over her "new" ex. But then things began to tumble. She was constantly bringing up her ex, and comparing us. She was flirting with other guys, dating other guys while I was there. It only took her a few nights to discard me. Even while she's going through a break up, I wasn't enough to keep her interested. This was the most intense rejection I've ever felt. It's like complete rejection, to the core. Here is someone I was intimate with for over a year, talking almost daily, that I flew half way across the world to see, and I'm not good enough to fill her emptiness for more than a few days. I also had the chance to hear the cold and brutal truth that she dated taller men than me afterwards and that I don't compare favorably. Now I'm back in the states, and I feel devastated. I've been rejected before, but never this complete. I didn't retaliate against her or play dirty ego games, but I let her know I was hurting, and that I needed to move on from her. So now we're no contact. I'm trying to learn from this experience and turn it into something positive. Any encouraging words?
  8. It's A goal. Thoughts are a tool, it's nice not to be a slave to them.
  9. This is really funny because I've had many of the same thoughts before. There's truth in what you wrote. That said, I came to realize it doesn't really work this way. As you raise your own consciousness, you'll realize the juice isn't worth the squeeze with this approach. For one, unless you're extremely disciplined, you'll probably lose your way going down this path. Second, this kind of change won't take place with a top down approach. Change of this nature will come from the bottom up. Imagine you finally get to that level of power, and while you've been campaigning to lobbyists all of a sudden you announce your budget proposal to develop meditation centers. What do you think is going to happen? It won't be approved, the lobbyists will destroy you, the media will destroy you. Even if you could get your way with power, it won't change others spiritually. Someone has to choose to become spiritual and seek higher levels of consciousness. It comes from within. There have always been very few true spiritual seekers for this reason. What's happening now is people are awakening DESPITE what society at large is doing.
  10. They aren't bad. Attaching to them in toxic ways causes suffering.
  11. Which spiritual teaching advocates for nihilism? This seems to be a misunderstanding on your part. He most certainly has considered Zen and talks extensively about many different spiritual teachings. He draws parallels between the story of the Buddha and the story of Christ. The thing about Jordan Peterson that most people don't understand is, he actually agrees with the post-modernists that everything is ultimately relative. He concedes this. His greater point though, is that there is a finite set of ways to live a good life, and those pearls of wisdom are embedded in thousands of years worth of spiritual seeking. He's trying to bring back the wisdom embedded in spiritual traditions from across the world as an antidote to post modernism gone awry, where there is no truth and only power games. What irks most people about him is that he's especially attached to Christianity, and he personally sees Christ as the pinnacle of growth and an example of how one should live. People mistakenly assume he's stage blue for this reason. Yet, he doesn't ever even go to church and talks extensively about why. I'm not Christian nor does it resonate much with me, but if this is the story which brings the best out of him, it's all good in my book. He's a complex character for sure.
  12. LSD is awesome. Treat this substance with great respect. Surrender, accept what comes, and always remember it will pass.