Gabriel Antonio

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About Gabriel Antonio

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  • Birthday 09/09/1996

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  1. my new intention : have fun 18-10 to 26-10 right wrist red bracelet let us see this shit hahaha...
  2. I have experience with that. Part of what we call "spiritual awakening" is in reality a sharpening of our senses. In my first awakening experience (2015), I became highly sensitive through the practice of yoga. I was also smoking cannabis in a ritualistic way. Dude... I became highly aware of everything. Very alive, you know? I was so freaking mindful... Anyway... what blocked me in my "monk phase" was the fact that I got aversed to the world. That is, I would not be able to desensitize. Therefore, I was picking up on everybody's vibes; I would think everything was personal... It wasn't looking good... I was becoming the environment... So imagine what type of energy I was embodying... The lowest kind. Let me share with you my story. I had my first big samadhi in nature. Then, I went directly to the chaotic city of Santa Rosa (which is literally in total chaos right now due to firings). When I was in nature, I had that profound and mystical experience. I became extremely sensitive. This is great! You gotta be tune in to your senses fully to savor the details of life. But... the problem was I did not know how to turn off that sensitivity button. And trust me, sometimes we simply gotta numb ourselves... especially when we are in a busy city. Otherwise, it is simply too much stimuli... we are not supposed to handle so much... Our number 1 obligation is with ourselves. Period. Fuck other people and fuck the world Long story short, I wanted to sustain a samadhi experience in the city, but I did not have enough foundation to do so. So instead of feeling Absolute Peace, I was in a complete chaos. Why? Because I became everything, yet I still needed emotional healing. so I was projecting my own pain onto the world around me. So I feel like what I could have done is to simply take it easy and... seek emotional support before it is too late. I am not saying to go to a psychologist nor a psychiatrist. Solution: What helped me the most was a meditation group I go to every week at the local park. Some folks there have been meditating for more than 20 years. So they know what they're talking about. And... it is almost impossible to get crazy when you have a strong sangha. This means, going to the meeting every single week. To me, group meditation is much more important than solo meditation. Sure, group meditation is not enough by itself. But at least you get some emotional support, which is what 99% of the world desperately needs. I feel like the best way to deal with so-called psychiatric disorders is to own them. I owned my paranoia hahaha. Now it works on my behalf. I also owned my shyness. Your inner demons can become your inner guides. Haha.. Strangely enough, I owned paranoia through psychedelics. In some trips, I have gone SO FUCKING CRAZY that I am just not afraid anymore. I have seen the worst. And it ain't that scary, seriously... So it turns out my "self-referential and psychosis" crisis were actually a part of me that needed healing right away. It could not wait any longer. So right now, in 2017, I am working on building a strong foundation so that I can handle the Infinite Power that I saw that it is readily available for us right in the present fucking moment. Not in 10 years of hardcore meditation. Not with 100 psychedelic trips. Nah, nah... Right now... But anyway... sometimes we simply cannot see the miracle right before our eyes, but it is there... It has always been there, and it will always be there. Ha... whether you "believe" in it or not... But, anyway, my point is that there are some basic things you should keep in mind... Some red flags for False Awakenings: - You are not taking care of your basic needs (not brushing your teeth for example) - You are being extremely harsh and rigid with yourself and others - Huge neurosis (A lot of pain, and it feels like you are not easing them. It feels like you are the one causing that pain to build up.) Anyway... we do not need to awake quickly. This ain't a race. To me, freakouts happens to people who are attached to perfectionism. Spiritual obedience is a fucking joke... God is always laughing his ass off... Just look at the fucking sun. BOOM! But anyway... this is a touchy subject. It is really weird to stay sane when you are one with your college professor. Hahaha... seriously.... it is fucking weird. That happened to me in 2015... I was sitting in class and then... BAM! I was the whole room. Hahahaha... it is super fun if you can handle that. If you are mentally weak (like I was)... it is freaking scary as fuck! Hahahahaha.... The main point is don't take it all so seriously... It is a joke after all... And nothing special is supposed to happen. If you are going through a rough moment on your spiritual journey: > slow the fuck down > watch stupid shows on netflix with a sloppy posture > binge on your favorite food without guilt Remember: not taking showers and being mean to people have nothing to do with spiritual awakening hahha... self-torture is the opposite of True Freedom (a.k.a., enlightenment)... I feel like the worst thing you can do is to play the role of a depressed person, or a schizophrenic person. I have met many perfectly healthy people who act out on a stupid role of a disorder. The schizophrenic guy. The depressed girl. The shy teenager. > You are much more than labels. You are everything. So do not limit yourself. < At the same time, learn how to tame your inner-dragon. If it is totally out of control, turn it off completely until it is not overwhelming you any longer. Then, start again... Hahahaha... that is a very subjective subject In essence, the inner dragon has to work on your behalf. You are the boss here, okay? 4LL Y0U N33D 1S L0V3 8D 8) ;D IDK if anything that I wrote makes sense... but I felt an urge to share... Stay safe children
  3. HAhahahaha... great! Those highly materialistic things really are for children hahahaha. They are so petty and they won't fulfill you. Material things can be nice, oh yes, but they alone are not sufficient to give you Peace. Quite the opposite, actually. You can get so lost in seeking material things and accumulating stuff that you forget that You Are God hahahaha... Anyway... in other words, you already are amazing. I understand that sometimes we think other people are better off than we are, but actually they also live in a hell. Hahaha... The thing is: some people have stronger roots. With a good foundation, you become very resilient. Just like the bamboo... Highly flexible! From I could read, you seem emotionally immature. There are many good methods to dealing with emotions. My favorite one is Reiki. YES! Relationships SHOULD NOT be your priority. Trust me, even if you are desperate for love (like the OP is hahahaha)... Don't fall into that trap. You will become very unattractive. You will repel people hahahaha.. That's what neediness does. You want love so deeply that you do not receive it. You just got to stop asking for it and become it. When you embody the Love frequency, maaan.... people will love you. Girls are going to want you so badly hahaha... but you won't even care about those things anymore. I mean... when love comes, it is great! But it certainly isn't necessary. So put this in your mind: Getting a hot GF will not satisfy you. Instead focus on: >> self-love. << Always remember to stay natural... DO NOT try to be perfect. People catch that and everybody hates people who want to sustain an ideal self-image. Work on yourself and the rest will follow. (small doses & daily)
  4. i have fallen in love with Reiki. i want to be on reiki mode 24/7 hahahahah because it feels so amazing and pure... heart-centered Awakening!!!!!!
  5. @ajasatya wow! great healing posts ahhahaha... i felt the difference in my body. i think it is a matter of being open to the idea that there is something more, you know? hahaha... btw - loved the pic ahahahahahah... funny how things change... hahaha. @Sano Morphing My brother, I hate to break it to you, but you are totally lost in the third dimension. Hahaha... Seriously dude... You sorta have a virus of overproductivity. Maybe you don't even have memories of what is like to be. You know, just sit and do nothing? Hahah... it seems as if you are always pursuing something different, another checkbox to check... dude, this is work for ants. hahaha... Humans are supposed to relax. When you deeply allow yourself to relax, you will remember that you are an animal. Then, you will naturally follow your natural instincts. Then, the day will naturally flow. EFFORTLESSLY. Yes... life can be effortless. Hahah... I really see myself in you. I was like this, IDK, a year ago... Pretty interesting... I was so NEUROTIC... You know, the excessive use of will and action. Hehe... but what really freed me was my first psychedelic trip. BAM! Hahaha... Love is here, dude... Some interesting quotes that came to mind: "You did not come here to be perfect. You came here to be real." (Ralph Smart, I guess) "My mind is like a bad neighborhood: I try not to go there alone." (A friend of Jack Kornfield, forgot her name. This goes back to what ajasatya was mentioning about the importance of a sangha. "HOLY SHIT! I WASTED MY LIFE!" (You at your death bed :P) Take a break. You're stressed out. Quit spiritual seeking. You already are Divinity. Hahaha... so why do you keep pushing yourself so harshly? Be a lazy-twat for a while
  6. Hey man I was on an ayahuasca trip, and this topic came to mind ahhaha.. So here is the thing: you are actually bored of your own self. You cannot expect people to give you anything. Seriously, most people are lazy as fuck. So do not think they are going to offer anything of value. Hahaha… That’s why you got to develop your inner confidence. That is, it does not matter what the hell you’re doing, you’re approving what you are doing. So do not fall into the trap of thinking you have to fix your self completely. No, you do not. You simply have to allow everything to happen. So… in other words, do not feel guilty if you stay at home instead of going out. This is just an example of choosing a highly introverted activity over practicing extroversion. Have you done any type of art? Such as music, cinema, painting, theater? I think this would help you develop your inner-self, you know? Hehehe… I don’t know why this video popped up in my mind. It doesn’t have a lot to do with your topic, but, hey, it might be useful. IDK, just following my intution Maybe you could also be more playful? What do you think? Not so that people laugh at your jokes, but simply because you wanna practice self-amusement. Hehe.. I share this thing with you. hahaha... when you are around people, remind yourself that existentially speaking, you are the only one here. Hahaha... This way, you will see that you are responsible for your happiness. Hahaha, sorry to break it to you So... become lighter. Watch stupid cartoons, listen to poor music, watch childish movies. So that you recover your inner beauty, which is there. Hahaha.. I love Courage... That TV show is sooooo creepy hahahahaha... it is like a psychedelic trip hahahahaha... anyway... gotta go! stay strong but also light...! =)
  7. @Emerald thank you for taking so much time and energy to write this! wow!!! lots of useful insights hehe
  8. Great topic! I have also experienced with releasing way too much emotional baggage. You can go nuts. The thing is, guys, you cannot brute force healing. My experience with breathing techniques is that I can become highly neutoric in trying to solve every tiny problem in my life, you know? Anyway, a healing tool that has been MUCH more effective than breath-work is Reiki. It is so simple, yet so gentle and effective. Haha... Anyway... Breath-work is extremely delicate. Therefore, you NEED someone to guide you. Otherwise, you will mess up with your whole energetic system. Haha.. Yoga classes are also great to release some emotional baggage. But I do not mean "gym-yoga". I am referring here to "spiritual yoga." Hahaha... Or energetic yoga... IDK... To me, those breathing exercises can be somewhat neurotic. Seriously... if you mess up with pranayamas (aka breathing exercises), you will most likely cause a brain damage. Check out this article, yoga-freaks hahaha: I have never done this holotropic breathwork. I checked some things on youtube. It seems very similar to what I am studying. Let me repeat something: you can cause brain damage. It is no use doing spiritual practices if you are not rooted in Love. I would say the safest way to go is through Reiki. But do whatever your body is telling you. Hehe...
  9. Wow!!! You can sense the power of Consciousness in you hahahaha. You have tasted from the Source, haven't you? Hahahahhaa... Congratulations!!! You are a unique form of God.
  10. Simples as that...
  11. Great suggestions for videos @AleksM! I also liked that other one you recommended about defense mechanisms of the ego. Dude, I had no idea that there was such a thing called "mature ego responses" hahaha... They are fabulous and have been giving me great results! Sometimes, I simply want to forget my problems, you know? Hahaha... Anyway, this scale is also really cool. Hahaha... Makes a lot of sense! I got great insights from reading it. Haha... @Leo Gura Have you seen this?
  12. Laugh at your devilry Hahahhaa it was so crazy... i have been feeling very peaceful lately, and this can easily be a way to be in my rut, totally in my comfort zone. However... i decided to take ayahuasca again hahahahhaa Dude it is so beyond you. Your “progress” will be so beyond you. When you experience the radiance of God, as Leo puts it, you realize that other people can only offer you peanuts hahahaha... quite literally Anyway... before the ceremony I was talking to a cute girl and I was desperate for love hahaha however I wasnt able to express my feelings, you know? i got stuck (like always) During the trip, however, it came to me that the most important thing is whether or not you’re enjoying yourself fully... seriously, i was glowing by 2 hours of trip... And lemme tell ya: the fist two hours were a HELL. I have been eating a lot of food (even thou it is considered healthy food, it is still too much)... anyway I often say that ayahuasca is like a Mad Mother... the word in portuguese is “brava” which is a combination between mean and loving. Hahahaha, got it! Ayahuasca is a severe Mother. Bam! It loves you! Do you grasp this?? Reality simply loves just like the sun is always shining, God loves you regardless of the shit you have been doing, the shit from your past, and the shit you are currently doing hahahaha you cant escape this Love hahahahhaa Anyway, I feel a deep urge to go take a Vipassana retreat sobthat I can fully reconnect to Nature. It is so fucking obvious when we start to observe nature... so many teachings and we for some reason lost touch of what is like to see the fire. The fire loves you. period. Hahaha Anyway, those shamanic rituals are amazing!! I get a mental ecstasy that permeates my whole body. I get a HUGE body awareness and relaxation. When relaxation is in your body, you realiaze that you do not have to throw away anything. Even negative emotions or thoughts are actually just the excrement, the fertilizer of awesomeness. In our stupid western country, we are taught to “destroy” parts of us, to remove unwanted things. But, as Zen Master Thich Nhat Hahn says, “If we take away all the ugly parts of a person, there might not be a lot left.” So we try to remove, remove, and remove. And then we realize that we’re empty inside. So whatever you’re going through, the key thing is to transform that ugly energy into something more wholesome. Basically you got to become an alchemist (tks Paulo Coelho!!!) Speaking of pratical shit, my life purpose is clearer than ever. One of Leo’s best video is the one about energy. It is an old one, but soooooo true. When you are allignes with a higher purpose, everything works itself out. You begin to summon energy through the Source... and then... you become a FORCE OF NATURE... it is so crazy... it is so beyond you, you have no idea hahahaha you are just a child, and the Supreme Father allows you to think that “you” are the one doing the amazing shitbof yourblofe, but deep down you know that you are nothing more than a selfish bastard hahhaahaha seriously you do jot have to help anybody. For example, I am writing this trip report for purely selfish reasons... hahahhaa i am just sharing..... so always remember that: Before respecting other, first respect yourself. I have fallen in love with Leos video on devilry hahahahah i am such a snake hahahaha seriously it is so frakin funny ppl are a bunch of hypocrites... they fuck up their lives and then they want to give you advice. “i am sorry, but i want to experience this first-hand” Thats what I say to the voices in my head that want to kill me, to put me in a quagmire of shit hahahaha... because thats what the ego is designed to do... all egos are kinda the same hahaha... as soon as you understand the subconscious mind, as Carl Jung puts it, that is the moment you begin to free yourself from its devilry grip hahahaha Anyway... another thing that came very clearly is... stop running away from chaos... seriously chaos is part of being human, of being incarnated hahahah nature has lots of chaos, but it knows what it is doing. Thank goodness i freed myself from stupid antidepressants. We qre going to laugh at today’s psychiatry 200 years from now. We’ll go: “OMG!!!!! Look at ehat they did with so many perfectly fine people” DEPRESSION IS NOT A PROBLEM. Schizophrenia is not a problem. Sure, there are exceptions, but seriously can we at least admit that hearing voices in your head is normal???? The problem is how loud those voices are. They kight be propelling you into great heights. I also became very conscious of my death. Let’s face it: I ain’t gonna be here for a very long time, and i feel the point of this trip (aka life) is to have fun. Laugh at your fucking devilry hahahaha... it is so simple... when you realize YOU are the devil, bam! God starts to manifest. You know why? Because God and Devil coexist. Bam! One cannot exist without the other. It is that simple. If you want to have infinite knowledge, you will also have infinite ignnorance. Sorry to break t to you, but as Jack Kornfield says, the human ride works with combos: sweet and sour, praise and blame, joy and sadness... so as soon as you recognize that First of all, you aint got much time left Second: you have something that is so unique and the world desperately wants that you share your beauty. And maaan... lemme tell ta: ayahuasca makes me fall in love with MUSIC. Hahahaha it is so liberating to play Tabaque (a type of drum from african roots i suppose) the thing is not that you just playbthe instrument, you become the instrument. You begin to see that everythig has a spirit. Each instrument has a spirit. Ayahuasca has a spirit. The sun has a spirit. If you prefer another word, you can say “vibe” the sun has a vibe you know? Speaking of the sun, I also realized that i completely ignore the sun. Just like god... i totally forget that it is there cause I get acclimated... Anyway, if I could point out one place that has been REALLY helping is Brazilian Voodoo (aka Umbanda) dude that place os fucking amazing... it is a complete spiritual practice. You got everything there: concentration, dancing, great music... it is beyond words ahahhaha Anyway... Wins the one who laughs the most. Seriousness is ego thing hahaha DO NOT be loyal to your suffering hahaha “ We live in Paradise. This is heaven!!!!!!! So... why do you take ayahuasca? —someone might ask So that I remember this truth “ I feel so aamAzing... Anyway ... Keep Flowing Just one final thing: stop seeking women if yiu are a guy. Let them get so envy of how good you are feeling that the simply cannot resist anymore. My personal preiorities 1 God (aka Truth and Love) 2 Gabriel (myself) 3 My direct family 4 Friends 5 other people (like you folks hahaha i dont care what you think about me hahahaha) Maybe GF would be an intermediary between family and friends. But remember: you go first. This is all your to enjoy. Nothing has to be thrown away. You just gotta Awaken The Giant Within!!! YES! My Lp is help people overcome shyness through being the embodiment of Tranquility hahaha True tranquility :):):) There can be peace even in the midst of chaos!! Aw... I keep wanting to share so much, but there is simply not enough time to waste here ahhahaha I think thats enough... my main worry is that I get side tracked... so i kept thinking during the trip as to how sum up in one sentence how i can keep my energy in high. I feel the only thing I need to do is keep doing what i am doing and not get fucking side tracked by overdoing shit hahahah it is like this: i fully allow my inner child to play you know?? Because “emotions are much more important than logic will ever be” (Leo Gura) Anyway I got lots of insights. It doesnt end hahaha. And seriously... are you having fun? If not, you are doing it wrong hahaha
  13. Hi guys, So I did the 21-day reprogram the subconscious mind challenge. I did it Now, I have decided to keep doing the 3-minute practice for another 21 days. I did not think of a better habit... But I could probably make a list, but anyway... it is working haha... Furthermore, it has been a week since I set the intention of "using 75% of my energy." Amazing results! I feel more centered, more at ease, and happier in general... hehehe I think I will stick with this intention for the next week, I suppose... Idk... I will be open to receiving a divine intervention as to what intention should I set for my week Thank you :D:D:D
  14. @jjer94 Woooow! Hahahahhahaha! Amazing!!!! This is called synchronicity. It is totally worth it to take the risk and let your parents go crazy... but have the experience... Seriously.... It is so freaking worth it... Especially when you are using it in an actual ceremony... It is amazing... The energy is so high consciousness that you Awaken by osmosis at some point ahahhaha... just kidding, but if you can put up with the discomfort of not pleasing your parents, dude... it will be amazing! You will go: "Holy shit! Why did I suffer so much??? Let me just enjoy this thing... Hahahaha...." @Natasha Hahaha.... it is so simple, right? Hahahaha... I had to take ayahuasca to see the power of this simple practice. As Matt Kahn puts it, "Whatever arises, love that." Hahah.. So simple... A good way to practice this is through self-reiki. You simply unblock your energy through the Power of your hands. You become an instrument of the Divine. You don't have to do ANYTHING. Actually, the less you interfere, the better... Then... You start feeling how good it feels to heal yourself. All healings happen inside... Dude, it is going to be so beyond you. Hahahaha.... You will be amazed by the power of Love. You will feel like a child again, but have the Consciousness of an adult. But, anyway, hehe, it is a journey. You will figure things out. Actually, the Universe will figure things out. Therefore, the Universe will figure the Universe out. Hahahaha... mindfuck... Just stick to this path
  15. @jjer94 @Natasha Great insights! Relationships really are a contract. That's all. Problem is, we do not define the boundaries with the other person. So it becomes a huge mess. This gives rise to lots and lots of unecessary suffering. Have you ever done psychedelics? I see myself in you. I was in your shoes a year ago. And now I am living pretty much in heaven hahaha. Of course, the healing journey is multifactorial, but I owe 80% to ayahuasca. Seriously, psychedelics are an awesome catalyzer for healing. You simply remember that you are in heaven; that you are Absolute Infinity. This way, almost all of your problems and emotional baggage are simply dissolved. The Buddha defined enlightenment as "the end of suffering." It is crazy. You get a glimpse of that Consciousness when you are tripping. You simply dissolve TONS AND TONS of emotional BS on a whim. You just gotta let the medicine cure you! Hahaha If you decide not to try it, or if you can't; I would only suggest you to not try so hard. I am talking to myself now hahaha. You can't brute force healing. Do some energetic unblockage technique, you know? Or... simply get together with a True friend. hahaha. You can find trustworthy people in shamanic ceremonies, in your local yoga studio, or a meditation group. I feel like what you need the most is unconditional love and support, you know? So that we bring your innocence back to life. Hehe. And you start to see the beauty of this world once again. I warn you: it might take a lot of time to do it without psychedelics. The results are going to be frustrating as fuck. But... they work. Just got to stay patient... Or... take some ayahuasca Hahahaha... IDK if this helps in any way... but I felt this urge to share with you what "has helped me along my journey" (as infinite waters says).