Gabriel Antonio

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About Gabriel Antonio

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  • Birthday 09/09/1996

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  1. intentions for this week 1- activate automatic mode 2- multitask 3- if it's easy to let go, let go. if not, let it be. 4- focus on projecting the voice correctly 5- preserve your Divinity 6- You Already Are (God's highest intention) 7- You = you + your circumstances 8- Decide and don't look back 9- step into radical action 10- I deserve to rest 11- God loves me regardless of what I do or do not do 12- make lists 13- get things out of your system 14- purge in however way you can 15- talk to your inner child 16- play mind games 17- ACT your role 18- laugh at your own devilry 19- share but don't overshare 20- 1-take so i have decided to set the 1st. intention for this week. i am also going to set a intention for the new moon (the 18th). i am trying not to think a lot before experimenting... just gotta remind myself to seek out help from real, 3-D friends... like the close ones, when I need. when in doubt, go back to your Friends... Hahahaha ideas are limitless... but anyway... why have I chose this intention -- activate automatic mode? cause life functions in counterintuitive ways. when I allow myself to accept the shit of what is happening in the moment; things start to change automatically. so... since my goal in life is to reach the Effortless State, i gotta learn how to flow... surf... and not get attached to "negative" results... i get so lazy due to my overproductive... the idea that i have to be alert and mindful 24/7 is a joke... true presence comes from relaxation not neurosis... and i am on the the neurotic end of the spectrum. not that i am going to seek situations to be lazy, but understand that they are a part of life. there are chapters in this journey that simply not much happens... and i have tried to brute force my way out of depression way too many times. i know that our psyche is not so simplistic. we need darkness. and, well, if during this week i stay like a lazy-twat, well, let it be. but i doubt that will happen. my problem is that i do not accept feeling low on energy, raw. but i got to learn how to embrace those states, instead of running away from them. Me |--------------------------------------------|-------------------x-----------------------| Laziness (lack of action) [Sweet Spot] Neurosis (excessive action) anyway... i am here despite my neurosis, not because of my neurosis. that is why I am proactively activating the automatic mode so that I don't overuse my energy and allow resignation to prove itself as one of the elements of Love. When i stop trying to figure everything out, things start to flow. So.... Automatic Mode ON! [random fear: freaking out at my house hahaha... cause i get so lonely and my mind jumps from thought to thought so quickly that I become unaware of what I am thinking. the thought hasn't even processed, and i am already thinking the next thing. anyway... i have no problem taking refuge, if you will, at my friends' houses. i have made 3 good friends this year, and they are enough to keep me sane, I feel.] [btw - i have been also thinking about my life purpose: overcome shyness and help others do the same how? > be a fully embodied transmission of Tranquility > 1-take lifestyle > antifragility]
  2. "Be bold, and mighty forces will help you." - Goethe
  3. Awesome article to remind yourself of what it means to self-amuse, a critical still to developing social confidence. Self-amusument > Impressing others Have fun with yourself!! Not that a order would work in that case haha...
  4. Cool! I think you'll love it! YES! Btw, one type of yoga that is REALLY challenging for me is Acro Yoga because it involves such a deep exchange of energy, seriously, even more so than sex. hahah...
  5. Maverick 1. A person who shows independence of thought and action, especially by refusing to adhere to the policies of a group to which he or she belongs. [thefreedictionary] 2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates: a modern-dance maverick. Synonyms: nonconformist, individualist; free thinker; loner, lone wolf. 3. person who takes chances, departs from accepted course [thesaurus]
  6. Insights Ayahuasca Trip 12-8-2017 1- Me = Me + My Circumstances This insight I actually got from a friend of mine. Nobody has the right to judge me, analyze me, tell stupid shit about me. Why? Because nobody knows MY circumstances. Only I know them. So I am deliberately cutting people off who are projecting their own shit onto me. 2- Wanna fucking do something "bad"? DO IT! After the trip was over, I felt like taking some more of ayahuasca. Then, a voiced told me: “NO!!!!! YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE ANYMORE OF AYAHUASCA. DONE!” However, this had a inverse effect. I felt like taking more. When, on the other hand, I told myself: “Dude… if you want to take ayahuasca every single day, just fucking do it and stop complaning about it”. There is a saying here in Brazil: “Make a mistake due to action, not due to omission.” I feel protected as crazy as this may seem, but I know that there is a part of me that does not allow me to dive deep into the negative spiral. So… seriously, if I want to overdo something, I will. And this freedom of allowing yourself to choose whatever your instincts are telling you gives me a reassuring feeling of deep trust in myself because the more I allow myself to do crazy shit, the less I feel like doing them. Haha… 3- You are a MIRACLE! You have probably heard this a thousand times, but I cannot stress this enough. You are a fucking miracle, dude! Think about all the variable, all the infinite variables, that had to take place for you to be alive here in the present moment. You could have been a sperm of your dad jerking off, if he wasn’t fucking your mom hahaha… You were a figment of your dad’s random sperm. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of the Miracle. The perfect conditions for live on Earth… all the dangerous things you faced during your life… all your stupid classmates that bullied you… you survived dude! “I AM A SURVIVOR!” Btw - I think instead of the default greeting be “Hi” or “Hello”, it should actually be “Congratulations”. You are amazing. 4- Stand up for yourself I am not allowing people to talk shit about situations, other people, and ideas. If you don’t like your country, MOVE! If you are talking nonsense about the people I like (my friends and family especially) I will not tolerate your bullshit. If you are a feminazi and you are bulldozing a conversation, I will contradict you. This is a hard thing to do, but it is so worth it when you get the hang of it. To speak your mind without so many filters. 5- You can’t force relaxation Whenever I take ayahuasca, I feel so fucking awesome in my body that I tell myself, “Dude, I should be feeling like this 24/7.” However, this idea that I have to feel good all the time, the idea that I want to manipulate my body in the present moment to “be in a good position” is a fucking joke! A true healthy and correct posture is relaxed. You do not have to change much. Just keep in mind that your spine should stay always erect. So… you cannot force relaxation to happen. It simply happens… You cannot solve stress with more stress.
  7. Awesome! I myself can't talk when I am tripping. I think I only did that once with a baby. It was amazing! Maybe next time both of you can take ayahuasca separately. What do you think? This "need" to be with the other person when you are tripping must be very annoying. The psychedelic process is very very selfish. Ordinary conversations won't help you when you are diving deep into the rabit hole haha. Good job!
  8. do you like doughnuts? have you at least liked them somewhere in the past?
  9. Day 2/7 - 5 random insights + 10 minutes to write freely about them + post it without editing anything Just move the ROCK! So here is the thing: you do not have all the options in the world with some things in life. There is an aspect of life, a very masculine one, that requires tons of courage, you know? Face it even if you are scared, but FACE IT. Just like your inner demons. You cannot slay them. That’s a fucking joke. You just have to look them straight in the eye and give a lill smile. I got this insight from an freaking awesome cartoon “The Last Airbender.” In the second season, he learns all about the earth element. And this element is stubborn. You cannot trick it. You have to become a fucking rock, ya know? No excuses I have learned that the mind is always coming up with excuses as to why what you are doing in the present fucking moment is not good enough, you know? The mind freaking loves that. It is always trying to find a way out of things, to run away from them. Or… on the other extreme hand, you are totally clinging to what you have. Those two are the main cause of suffering. You either want something REALLY bad or you rationalize away on how what you currently have, who you currently are simply isn’t good enough. Confrontation vs Exposure Most of the times we do not need to confront things. We simply have to expose ourselves to the uncomfortable sensations, you know? This is a slight difference. Confrontation is highly masculine. Exposure is sorta feminine, kinda passive in a way. For example, you are talking to a hot girl but you think you are doing horribly because you feel “negative” emotions. If you are able to stay with the emotion, just that: STAY. I don’t think it is a good idea to confront anything. You don’t need that, because that is a neverending hole of “proving yourself.” So… just stay with negative emotions. Don’t have to do anything. Whatever enters your field, you allow it to be. But if you feel you are being disrepected, don’t hesitate to ACT. The Way to Deal With Fear Well, I have already said that in the last insight, but I feel an urge to repeat. Exposure. That’s the key word you got to embody so that you become antifragile, not so scared out of your mind with life… I don’t know about you, but Fear pretty much runs my life insofar as I do not make peace with it. Fear is an energy that is necessary for our survival, however, the autonomic nervous system shoots some stupid responses to situations that have no real danger involved. So… we teach our subconscious mind that there is nothing to fear about but fear itself hahaha. Fear is a very strong energy so we have to pay our respects to it, in a way. Loneliness is a state of mind That’s pretty counter-intuitive. You can be in any situation, with the hottest person in the world fucking with you, in the best case-scenario, Tony Robbins-wise lifestyle (hyperactive and success-oriented), well… the thing is you can have everything and still feel lonely. Do not interrupt your flux, even if you have to slow down and negotiate a lot with your ego.
  10. You can’t make more effort to get into the effortless state I got this insight from infinite waters. I don’t if he is the creator of this quote, but, anyway, I have been connecting with his material quite deeply over the past 24 hours. I think I am starting to get him, you know? The insights that he provide are now solified, if you will, in my subconscious mind. I love his definition of the subconscious mind. Subconscious mind = the body. So simple, right? But, for some reason, we do not understand that, and we live as if the subconscious mind is somewhere else. Anyway: I see myself becoming a child-like person in one year from now and also with a good-looking and defined body, but without making any effort, you know? So… I just want to fucking flooooow! Practice doing and speaking the very first thing that comes to mind (no filters allowed :P) This insight I got from Leo. Haha… In the How to Be Funny video. Hahahhaa… I loved that episode! It has helped me a lot deal with my radical seriousness hahaha… So… here is the thing when you are speaking to people or even when you are writing, DO NOT INTERRUPT the flux, okay? Stop editing your goddamn life! This one I got from infinite waters. Hahaha… He said that in the beginning of his youtube journey, he used to spend hours on end to edit his video to have a peRfect version ahhahaha… So that obviously stressed him out. Right now, he simply practices the one-take. No cuts. I love that mind set. It is hard for a person like me, who has developed so many filters to be accepted by others that I sometimes get completely trapped in the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the figments of someone else’s imagination. (Thanks for that episode, @Leo Gura) So, right now, I am deciding to never break the flux. Yes, I can slow down the pace, the tempo; but NEVER paralyzed. You know? Hahahaha… that sounds a little neurotic, but that’s okay. Maybe I need that. Maybe I need to make a lot of social mistakes. Maybe I need to be a little bit more self-ish. (>> self << ish.) You gotta serve your self first, dude! God (a.k.a. Nature, Absolute Infinity, The One-in-All/All-in-one) is ALWAYS in control Yes…crazy, huh? God is always in control, whether you want that to be true or not. Hahaha… That’s the gift of giving up control with the Do Nothing technique done 24/7 for 7 days. Dude… I feel so much at peace right now, knowing that deep down, even if I am completely trapped in the 3-D (or 2-D, in the case of the virtual world), but… deep down, there is always a Force governing everything. It is what Adam Smith, the economist, called “The Invisible Hand.” Can’t you see that all paths go to Rome? All fingers go to the palm of your hand? Hahaha… Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is pointing to the same direction. I am being idealistic here, I think… but fuck it! No matter how disappointed you are with yourself, no matter how disappointed people are with you… God is still in control, dude! God is everything that ever was, ever is, and ever will be. It is the one constant, which is unconstancy itself, impermanence. Maybe God = impermeanence… I give up believing that I have free will Anyway… took ayahuasca curandeira yesterday, and it was freaking AMAZING! I told to my friend: I completely give up the ilusion that I have any control over my life. In Salms 91, it says: [free translation from the Portuguese version) So… let’s fucking LIVE! Btw - I am trying to maintain here on this journal 5 random insights and my mental masturbation about’em.
  11. above is a very cool personality test. never heard of it, though it is ancient. @JKG @Dragallur I think you play the role of "peacemaker" when you are talking with people hahaha I do that also "yes... oh... yes! yes! yes!" hahahah... Side note: Tenacity = having persistence in purpose
  12. Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without proof, evidence, or conscious reasoning, or without understanding how the knowledge was acquired.
  13. Frogs cannot be cooked cold When you are dealing with people, you have to build momentum, you know? You can't just start blurping stupid shit at people. Actually, you can. However, you have to build momentum. This is actually a technique of persuasion and, yes, it can be used to manipulate people. But... knowledge is not a crime. A rope is just a rope. You can use it to kill someone or to save someone from the abyss. Play your roles lightly Okay, so here is the thing: your whole life is a holographic thing and you can't escape it. This is the first part of Awakening. The second is coming back to the 3-D world and really live it to its fullest. Remember: you, yes, YOU are going to die real soon. Sorry to break it to you, so fucking appreciate this existence. Study a lot, meet awesome people, and have a PURPOSE. How do I find my purpose? You go search it. It will self-purify and self-present. You will naturally gravitate towards what Nature intended you to become. But you got to be willing to be in the world. Have a fucking sangha! If you isolate yourself too much, you will get fucked in the ass. You will suffer so fucking much. So, maybe, instead of seeking for enlightenment, you should actually build your self-confidence. And your existential vocabulary. Seriously, guys, knowing about shit through wikipedia has done wonders for me! I feel much more conscious to actually know what, for example, rationalizing means. Btw - it means "coming up with excuses". In other words, justification. Children practicing Tai Chi. See through the eyes of compassion I have been having this weird experience of changing the lens through which I see the world. It feels like NLP or hyponisis, I don't know. I just begin to see things in a more compassionate way, you know? Not being aggressive or pushing myself too hard, and therefore I am also more caring towards other people. I know that the world is going through a huge crisis. And maybe all I can do is believe with all my emotion that the Magic is still alive. The Miracle of Being Alive!!!!!!! Desensibilization (Especially for @JKG and @Dragallur) I am freaking tired of being a pussy. Seriously, I am so fucking fragile. I notice that I am doing something that is actually causing me harm, but instead of changing how I am doing it, I keep doing it in an incorrect way, you know? It is so fucking annoying. But, anyway, I have been constantly practicing body relaxation. When I release all the resistance that is present in my body, I simply allow God to manifest itself through. Btw... I thought it was so funny a journal here that has a similar name to mine. Hahahahahah... It is something like Letting the Shine of the Divine Pass Through Me, something like that. Hahahaha... I am happy that the Word that YOU ARE GOD; you just gotta INVOKE it and release all the resistance in your body. Then... BAM! Your life becomes effortless. The Myth of Singletasking I hate when people start talking that you cannot do more than one task at once. For goodness sake, of course you can! Listen, people, you do not need a quiet place to meditate. You should find peace wherever you are. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But it is the truth. Learn to filtrate shit. You can be in the worst evagelical church that is the most old-fashioned type of preaching, but you are able to stay there and expose yourself to something uncomfortable. This is so freaking healthy. To go to places where you don't feel 100% safe, you know? It is like you would rather be home, but you decide to go to your friend's house or go to a random yoga class so that you circulate your energy. Stop being afraid of doing more than one thing at once!!!!!!! Embrace chaos!!!!!!!!! Embrace the CITY! The chaos! Learn for the sake of learning If you are like most people in the west, you are stuck in the "goal-oriented" paradigm. This is so freaking annoying. You always want to know the answer for a hidden agenda of yours. Fuck off! Life is meaningless, remember? The one who craves for that shit is your fucking ego, which is only preoccupied with staying alive (self-survival) and sex (reproduction). These are our lowest instincts, for goodness sake. So... instead of talking to people with a mean on the back of your mind, quit that! Just talk because it is pleasant to talk. Just work because it feels good to move your body or to use your brain. Meditate for the sake of meditating. Sit for the sake of sitting. Listen to music for the sake of listening. Please, do not meditate to get enlightened. Enlightenment is not the end-all-be-all. Actually, when you are truly in the path, you begin to lose interest in this seeking. You simply want to be as Present as you can. Really live your fucking life, you know? Developing skills, exposing yourself to things that make you feel uncomfortable (so you build emotional strength), etc. It is so fucking simple... But, please, remember that You Are Already Are Consciousness itself. Don't hurry. This is just a movie, and it will end quicker than you think. Your true nature is in the 5-D, not the 3-D. We are multidimentional beings having a human experience. We, as humans, cannot fathom what our Higher Self really is. But who we really are is the formless. Form is a beautiful, but it is only illusory. Just like a fucking dream. Can't you see that this is what's happening? You are in your own dream. Hahahaha... x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- Feel this song: Cheers from BRAZIL! (this one is for you, @ajasatya :P)