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Completely. But traveling on the spiritual path is the way to get back to the wonder, freedom and bliss you experienced in childhood!

Misinterpretation of reality having identified with a body & thinking. Emotions ‘tell’ the Truth, 24/7. That’s their thing. That’s what they do. It’s what they are. Feel them without avoidance, and this is easy & clear, and there is no overthinking, no doubt. Get sucked into a thought story...a cognitive narrative...and the trouble begins. Doubt is weaved. Identification is strengthened. Protection is increased. Vulnerability is further suppressed. Thinking protects you. That’s it’s thing. That’s what it does. Not knowing you were misinterpreting reality, and protecting yourself in the most subtle & clever ways....you then misinterpret the emotional response as well. When done repeatedly / chronically....thinking protectively weaves a narrative which makes it make sense (in the short term). But this “short term” itself then must be repeated to maintain the protection. This is a very taxing, energy draining, creativity zapping lifestyle. Typically the narrative thinking employs is one of two patterns: Life sucks.......then thought content is identified with / believed, emotions (truth) is repressed & avoided. or I suck....then thought content is identified with / believed, emotions (truth) is repressed & avoided. Bottom line is, you can not know about yourself at the level of cognition. So if you doubt yourself (cognitive level), then you are wrong (because you are infinite potentiality, not a describable finite ‘thing’) You then choose to continue being “right”, or, to be vulnerable & relearn the miracle that is your emotional guidance system (God). The first part of “relearning” is purification. Love flushes all your BULLSHIT out. This is triggered by willingness. The second part is contextualization of reality with the emotions involved, respected, and trusted. This is triggered simply by living life. The third part is bliss.

"On Spiral Dynamics Stage Teal" (written by me) (1) 100% Transcendence of the Mind -- including but not limited to transcendence of white-knuckle clinging to metaphysics and white-knuckle clinging to Truth Teal, unlike Turquoise and Coral, has completely (100%) transcended the Mind. Teal has reached Satori (or the Zen Mind). Teal is not white-knuckle clinging to metaphysics or to Truth. This means that Teal is not not clinging to metaphysics or to Truth either. Teal realizes that it's the Mind that clings to metaphysics and to Truth, and Teal has seen through the Mind completely. Teal allows the Mind but is no longer ignorant of the Mind making itself seem more important that it really is -- this includes but is not limited to the Mind making thought seem more important than it really is. Teal is able to live their life without being trapped inside the Mind-Matrix while also picking up the Mind when it's useful to do so and putting down the Mind when it's no longer useful. Teal knows how to do thought without thought doing them. (2) Focus on real relationships rather than abstract metaphysical love Because Teal has transcended the Mind, Teal is not clinging to any concept of metaphysical love. Teal values real relationships however and places their focus on nurturing real relationships that they care about. This doesn't mean that Teal is selfish though. Teal continues to express interpersonal compassion and contribution, but Teal is not clinging to any metaphysical love or abstraction about love being part of Truth or anything like that. That's all white-knuckle clinging by the Mind which Teal is well aware of. Teal is ok with not liking everybody. Teal is also ok with being interpersonally reactive when it's authentic and doesn't try to repress, suppress, or demonize Ego or Ego flare-ups. (See No. 6 below) Teal is very relationship-focused and uses relationships to do personal development work. (3) Authentic expression and authentic being -- full integration of the masculine and the feminine Teal realizes that both masculinity and femininity express itself in all persons. Teal watches their personas change and is mindful of their personas changing throughout the day. Teal can identify when they're in their masculine and when they're in their feminine. Teal is all about authentic expression, healing traumas, reducing shadow, recognizing personas, and following your goose-bumps (or following your bliss) whatever that might be because that's what your Ego-Mind needs to do to grow and to become more authentic (even if your Ego-Mind needs to go in a negative or destructive direction). Teal has integrated both the masculine and the feminine completely (100%). (4) Drops down from the Mind Space into the Heart-Mind Space -- this doesn't mean you lose intellect, you just don't have any ignorance regarding the Mind anymore — this is another masculine feminine integration -- full integration of the Heart-Mind Because Teal has fully transcended the Mind, they no longer have ignorance regarding the Mind. This allows Teal to descend from the heights of the Mind down into the Heart and to integrate both into the Heart-Mind. Teal has integrated the Mind and the Heart completely (100%). (5) Drops down from the Mind Space into the Body-Mind Space — this is another masculine feminine integration -- full integration of the Body-Mind Because Teal has fully transcended the Mind, they no longer have ignorance regarding the Mind. This allows Teal to descend from the heights of the Mind down into the Body and to integrate both into the Body-Mind. Teal has integrated the Mind and the Body completely (100%). (6) Realizes the Ego-Mind has pros and cons -- and doesn't demonize, repress, suppress or deny the Ego-Mind in a black-and-white kind of way Teal doesn't white-knuckle cling to the idea that the Ego is bad or an illusion. Teal doesn't white-knuckle cling to the idea that the Ego is not bad or an illusion. Teal doesn't try to repress, suppress, demonize, or dissociate from the Ego or the Mind. Teal realizes that the Ego-Mind has pros and cons, and Teal wants to maximize the pros of the Ego-Mind while minimizing the cons of the Ego-Mind. Because Teal is relationship and connection driven (real relationships and connections), they are not likely to be as selfish and solitary as Coral. Teal doesn't think they're God because they've transcended this kind of white-knuckle clinging to metaphysics and to Truth. Teal allows both the light side and the dark side of the personality.

@Ponder I used to be the same, i used to embody a similar frequency as well at one point. I still have some aspects that pop up every now but the generalized state of awareness has been significantly influenced but the absolute truth/love in which humbles and allows you to step back in awareness and observe clearly. It has little to do with being in bliss 24/7, its about being in tune with infinite intelligence and being the master observer so you do not fall into unnecessary, unconscious loops that do not allow full potential of the energy matrix within to shine its highest light. In this case you cannot "see" what the master "sees" because you are downloading far too much concepts that are really not necessary and only set you further from the truth of who you are which is simple and divine in nature. The more ideologies and concepts we imbue the more challenging it becomes to see as clearly and to have understanding rather than knowledge which are completely different in themselves when seen with the perspective i am expressing. The Tao Te Ching explains this very well. Nevertheless, its not necessarily a bad thing because we are who we are for a reason and have our unique plays in life but coming from someone who understands the matrix very well, has experienced and come to realize and mastered most of the things talked about on the forums almost a long time ago, the best advice which helps both self and other is = Less is more. The more you fill your subconscious with excess, unnecessary junk, the further from "understanding" you reside. Its easy to know things, the key is to Understand. Knowing and buying into too much ends up deluding Understanding. The most highest and most imaginable concept you can think you are yourself is really nothing compared to who you truly are. In which are still limits of your highest truth. It can only be lived, understood, felt but it cannot be expressed or claimed because soon as you fall into the vibration of "i am this" you have added a filter from your highest truth. The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.

@pluto What you have to realize is that people are unique with unique personalities. I’m the same personality type as Leo (INTP), and we can’t help but conceptualise almost on a moment by moment basis, so it would be inauthentic to not spread our theories or “truths” to others. You may be content to just bliss out on love 24/7 (and more power to ya), but I’m certainly not. You also have to understand that there’s a difference between enlightenment and self-actualisation, and in my (not so) humble opinion, they are equally important. Just some food for thought (but I guess you don’t like thinking, right )

You do realize, right, that life gets infinitely better and better after enlightenment, although every day is the best day simultaneously (the whole mind-matrix consists of dualities ) But once you are in heaven (enlightened), in a relative sense, every day is better than the last. Pleasure on pleasure on pleasure on pleasure for eternity. ETERNITY!!! An enlightened being, at least in my case as my primal sign (look into it), is Taurus, just wants pleasure. Taureans aside, who doesn’t fucking love pleasure. If you could have a never-ending stream of pleasure, would you turn it down? Fuck no. It’s actual BLISS. Like you actually don’t understand. IT’S INFINITELY BLISSFUL. The mind can’t comprehend such states because the mind operates in concepts and not direct experience, but I prophesy that we will all be living the dream (so to speak ), soon enough. The apocalypse is coming, if you can’t see the signs, delusion is clouding your judgment I’m sorry. Not trying to talk down to anyone, just speaking what I know. So buckle up, the apocalypse is gonna be hella fun

Its a trap! Thats how they hunt the poor little deer in the name of freedom, love, peace, bliss and all that good crap

@NoSelfSelf No that would largely depend upon your skill. What ego is and what it not is, is just not relevant when you genuinely want to improve a situation, you work through the ego, the same with meditation. It's not like every sitting is a total bliss as an advanced partitioner. Yes, it comes down to what you want to help people with and how you want to do it, yet it does not mean that ego is not involved or even your biological, psychological or biographical self. The point is the ego obviously will come, otherwise, the "game" would be way to easy. Yet, it does not mean that effortless action or service does not exist. Similar to flow states while meditating, running, studying or listening to music, playing an instrument a high concentrative state penetrates ego. So, your actions become more free of them. A flow state is highly energetic and feels purifying and not egoic and greasy. To embody this is not easy and needs daily practice. I want to reach this place of living from. Regardless of what currently happens. The point is without sitting on a cushion day by day nothing will happen, especially without retreats. You could greatly benefit from the audiotapes of alan watts, to realize the meaninglessness of meaninglessness and how beautiful it can be to create and enjoy creation. https://www.audible.de/pd/Out-of-Your-Mind-Hoerbuch/B0161MI1A6?qid=1557492621&sr=1-1&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_1&pf_rd_p=34e3b439-2a21-4dff-af95-98a7a74a1f67&pf_rd_r=4CTAGFBB7GA9TB693S8E This is IMO the best out of the 3 audiobook series I listened to and do not crank up the speed, otherwise, it just does not make sense. I started this path before actualized.org because the first video I watched from Leo was. Why I am a dick and why you don't change. I was so pissed and did not watch him for the entire year, until when he started talking about meditation. Since I just moved heavily into green from a more green/orange and could not deal with the directness of his way of teaching.

@Leo Gura that such a good description of what my LSD come down felt like. Though I imagine it’s more radically so with 5-MeOvand more drawn out. Coming down from a realization from God slowly felt like this drawn out torture as my Self came back in of just how much I taint and ruin my own bliss, truth, love, and General happiness. I think it was necessary for sure and good to see that but man is it painful. This was what really hit home on the importance of self-esteem and acceptance.

At around 2:26 of Jay's clip, I do suspect that when he said, "We want to keep chasing love, but we don't actually want to fall into it," I highly suspect that this is a pointer to the Satori. Fall into it refers to becoming the No-self and transforming and falling back into your ego, which of course is your body & the world. Then, there is this massive bliss for the ego, indicating to the ego that it is in the to love realm, which is earth. That means our purpose has to be aligned with love when we go through life. Life is the school. Hopefully, we will learn this lesson, apply it, and graduate from life.

Sounds like an ego backlash that feels like a hard uppercut to the jaw. Par for the course and is normal. Couple points: This is why developing self-love is important and also doing shadow work. Part of the reason there is that resistance that coming in the form of a mild depression is that your ego is your filter to the Love and Bliss that you are. I know what it feels like to have say a psychedelic trip to be one with universal Love and then a couple hours later I'm so depressed because as I come down slowly I'm noticing I tarnish and taint everything. It's pretty hard. More purification and love. Ego/the self ain't going down without a fight. Sustaining a conscious realization is totally different than having an awakening. A lot of awakenings aren't one's that abide but rather just create a new "set point" from which the self orients itself. That's not bad. Hell, it's WAY better than not having had any awakening or enlightenment at all. You're traversing a switchback trail looking out from a higher and higher vantage point. However, the self is still there. Breaking that down is much much MUCH harder. I suggest the above point, maybe doing some psychedelics, work on adopting honesty and authenticity as daily practices you carry on every day (that is so fucking hard it's honestly not even funny), and reading Ralston's book "Pursuing Consciousness" which specifically addresses this matter.

Is normal, because you awakened the limbic system and is atrophied. Now is time for healing and meditation. It is a very tough path to awaken the entire reptilian/limbic parts of the body. Because those parts are interconnected with everything in the universe and the drama is huge, because real awakening is beyond own drama, is experiencing all the drama and bliss of reallity. Being the reason so few people awaken.

Liger, I can relate to your perceptions/feelings when it pertains to ignorance = bliss/happiness and Truth may = Aloneness. I have been on the path of Truth now for several years, and the more aware and conscious I become, the more alone I feel. Last fall I did a two-week Ayahuasca retreat and during the last Aya ceremony my world got shattered when I experienced and embodied God consciousness. I realized that everything was an illusion. My wife, family, friends, plants, pets, religion, politics, and this world is nothing but an illusion. There is only One “Consciousness”, and I am that consciousness. It was pure Love, and at the same time pure Aloneness. I struggled for months after receiving that awareness, and I still do, to some extent. The piece that is helping me through all this is that I am also Love/Consciousness, which means I need to keep reminding myself that I am Love every day and every moment. When I now see my wife, family, pets, strangers, etc. I get awareness's that they are me, and I am them. And when I do, I no long feel alone anymore and feel some bliss/happiness.

no experience designs skeptics. @Liger it’s funny as i grew up in an atheist family, so i did the opposite, i became a believer. but the belief i found was not what someone told me it was what remained after removing what is not true. so i suppose if you can’t be happy because of ignorance it is better to be unhappy without because you at least try to find bliss in truth. i guess the agnostic approach will distance you from dogmatism but there are still things you believe in don’t you? like love or other humans. you can prove to yourself.

This is what we mean by ignorance is bliss I love this picture, it speaks 1000 words and is answers to so many questions people ask here on actualized. It should have its own section

Thank you all for your tips and insights. @abrakamowse the ego is a complex complex thing which takes a lot of work to break down. @Leo Gura It was during a meditation practice, I was doing many hour long sits over several days. Specifically it was during a guided self enquiry (Rupert Spira) meditation, I became fully aware of the "I" as consciousness and experienced what can only be felt as pure, pure bliss. It was such a intensity that I sat like that for a very long time afterwards contemplating, and shed a few tears in the process. But now, two days later, back to normal life I feel quite low.

@Liger and @Rigel Interesting to see your names look alike, sorry for this stupid observation @Nahm Isn't bliss and feeling good what everyone wants after all? Why deny them their right to feel good? They've found happiness through belief, tell me, what is direct experience but a belief? Why do you take memory for granted? Questioning is not for everyone, some people are skeptical, and others are believers.

Dear All, I've been to a beautiful ayahuasca retreat in Peru. Below I share my trip report. What I mostly came here for though is interpretation. Obviously multiple questions came up after the experience. There are some answers that I give to myself but I want to know if I don't fool myself, if it isn't my ego / my limited mind that provides concepts and explanations that it is familiar with but which might not necessarily be true. Those of you who experienced ayahuasca too / had a similar experience / just feel capable to, please help me answer the below questions: - What is that thing that I connected to / blended with when I was dropping my self? - Is this the experience that we are left with after physical death? - Is dropping the mind (that I needed to do in order to blend / connect) the same as ego death / physical death? As you can see in the below report, in short my answers are: I blended with universal life energy and experienced ego death. However I'm worried that those answers might not be true, that it's just a limited interpretation of my limited mind - and that's why I came here. Few words about the trip itself and the trip report: - During the session I did have references to Leo and his teachings, few times actually. The most prevailing one was that wow, much of the stuff that I experienced, Leo did talk about. I mean yes, I know his videos well but it seemed like only at that time could I grasp the meaning of the most profound of them. And I was really really impressed with how precisely they describe those insights. I could barely wrap my head around them for myself (or sometimes just plainly couldn't, with my mind at least), and Leo is not only able to dig into them deep enough to understand them for himself and put it into concepts and words understandable to the mind but also to describe it in a way that the public can understand. I mean only now do I realise that in some cases I really understood little until I experienced it, but Leo gets as close as possible, and in terms of technical precision and accuracy - possibly the closest of all that I've come across. Thank you Leo, it's a wonderful work that you do. - Yes, by now I know that I should have let go more - There was a bad trip as described but that's not where the main insight came for so from today's perspective, its not very meaningful - The below report was written in the morning after and slightly edited later for clarity. Please also note that I'm not an English native speaker. And here comes the report itself. Ayahuasca, 9.04.2019‌ - I felt like I understood everything, how everything works. I was kind of proud because all the research and contemplation and all the understanding that I gained throughout the last few years - it was right. It wasn't IT but it was a great foundation that I could refer to now, it was pointing to the right direction, to IT. - I knew I understood it but at the same time I was aware enough to know that I wouldn't be able to comprehend it once I'm back. (now I only remember mundane things that I understood : for example why John, my caretaker said that with vipassana experience, it might be easier for me to reach there. I can't recall what was the profound understanding of the world like.) - I laughed, sometimes quite hard. I thought to myself : haha dude THIS is the ultimate game! And I was enjoying figuring it out. ‌- Then I remembered that people say that once you get enlightened, then you only laugh. There was nothing else to do, I understood it but when I wanted to grab it, grasp it - I couldn't, it was beyond my mind's capabilities. Not to mention putting it into words. - I thought : this is what enlightenment must be like. It was pure bliss. I stopped worrying how to comprehend it later, transfer to lucid life. I just enjoyed it. - About 'this' life here : it seemed like a fun adventure but one to not take too seriously, which made it even more fun. - I had the multidimensional visuals that you see in related art sometimes.‌ - I was blending with something. When I got back from time to time [and I used the presence of my girlfriend to do that] , I thought : Maybe this is what death is like or what ego death is like? - And I think maybe it was, but the moment I grounded myself, brought back to here, the moment I had a thought, instead of just blending, it wasn't it anymore. It wasn't ego death anymore. - Why? Because how can it be ego / mind death, when just the fact that I THINK (about it) , means that I look at it from an ego/mind perspective. - It might not have been good to be grounding myself because then I was loosing IT. I was on and off. Sometimes I thought : 'let's check on that body here'. I was on and off.‌ - The singing of the shaman was very very helpful to be on. Few times I thought with excitement: ok, we are so deep already and know Mr Shaman is gonna drop in with his shit too hahaha. - Of my mind, I thought : thank you, my loyal and so helpful companion to bring me to this point. I will need to leave you now and go into the further journey by myself. - And in 'this' world, the love between me and my girlfriend was kind of the only tangible, worthy thing, the only thing worthy my attention. [there was more to explore here, I felt, but I didn't]. ‌ - At times / some point I thought : Hey, maybe this is not ego death if - again - I THINK of it from ego / mind perspective. How do I know that this is not actually my ego fooling me? [I remember that this notion came to me from a YouTube comment that somehow I remembered now]. - But again : I was on and off.‌ - I was curious what was on the other side and I had glimpses of it (bliss, blending) but I felt that in order to really reach that and truly explore what is there, I had to drop myself, my ego and somehow I convinced myself that it's impossible because how I perceive all experience and this bliss too is through ME and physically through my body (which is the host of the mind) so I can't fully drop it. I convinced myself that it's physically impossible. - Probably this was my ego holding me back. But on the other hand, I feel like maybe it wasn't ego death that I wanted to taste but death itself, and that obviously wouldn't be possible, while I'm still in this body - that's why I convinced myself of it.‌ - This was probably the very bad mistake that I made [convincing myself that it's physically impossible to drop my mind] that got me to the second part of the experience - the bad trip.‌ - I felt like I was reaching somewhere but couldn't enter. It was layer after layer after layer. I did have that sensation going in, and each time I went in, I came out from the other side. Can't explain it with this limited mind now, even to myself... However it brought to my mind one of Leo's videos, even though right now I can't recall which one was it - either the one about infinity or strange loop. At that time though, I knew perfectly.‌ - I thought : OK, this is supposed be the TRUTH and I want to get there but to do that, I have to drop my mind but to drop my mind is impossible because it is this mind / body that brought me here to this point. So I need to drop it but I can't (ego telling me that?). - I had this loop all the time. Exploring the TRUTH was the only thing that mattered to me. It was like I realised that my life here on earth is like a meaningless cartoon or TV show and I'm only a character in it. I really need to find the exit, come out of the TV screen and into real life. - In such circumstances, exploring the TRUTH was the only thing that mattered and each time I was trying to figure it out but each time I ended up in the same point: can't explore it with the mind but can't stop the mind. That was my realisation. But after I realised that, my mind was going the same path again and again - trying to figure the TRUTH and ending up at the same point that was impossible to cross. Like being stuck in a riddle that can't be solved. - At some point I realised that I always end up at the same point but couldn't think in any other way, couldn't get out - it was the same thinking process over and over again. That's when the worst time was, when I was asking Jhon how much longer, that I can't stand it, etc.‌ - I wanted to go back to 'this' world. I knew it was rather meaningless but I preferred to be here rather than in that fucking trap.‌ - What was helping me the most was holding girlfriend's hand and feeling her. With time, I was realising sooner and sooner that the riddle doesn't make sense and that I will end up at a point with no way out. Thats when I was always looking for my girlfriend and that was bringing me back here. Step by step, I managed to do it sooner and sooner in the riddle and this is how it gradually faded away and finished.

Someone who finds ignorance to be bliss, does not know bliss. Someone who finds religion to be Truth, does not know Truth. One who questions existence, doesn’t know the self. Discover within yourself what you looked for in religion. What good is it to tell you the taste of this green tea latte? I can give you my word that it is delicious, but, pretty sure you’re here to taste for yourself.

@Inliytened1 No non dual experience or no ego death experience. But my question is Ego death is not physical death.Ego death is just the absence of I feeling but not absence of conciousness in waking state. Death is absence of the physical body and hence absence of conciousness or equal to unconsciousness. Death is equal to deep sleep the complete absence of any experience. Enlightenment or Non dual realization or God experience is not possible with out conciousness.In other words God experience or sleep less sleep or bliss is possible only when conciousness is present. If else God experience must be available during deep sleep in the absence of conciousness.Which is not the case. @zeroISinfinity @Nahm Please clarify.

These are some of the deepest questions you can ask yourself. Death is enlightenment..as you might know. It is the dissolution of the ego in which all dualities collapse and you become Absolute Infinity. Pure unimaginable bliss and if you had a breakthru you know this. Infinity is outside time and space. So to ask yourself how long do you remain as God is only a question you can ask from the ego's perspective. It's tricky. From God's perspective it's Infinite. All dualities collapse. It is infinite! Now you might ask yeah but how long is that? But again notice you find yourself in this finite state now because you forgot you were God and your asking this question FROM your finite perspective! It only has meaning from your perspective! That's the mindfuck. And it is one hell of a mind fuck. Its trying to grasp the Infinite with the finite. But don't look at it as a problem but as how it should and must be! The purpose of enlightenment while the physical body lives is to become conscious of your true nature but not just that..to embody it in the human form. To become so conscious that you view the world from God's perspective as a natural state or as much as is possible with our finite minds. To see the world thru the lens of Truth..which is Absolute Love and the transcendence of all the unconscious dualities we create. To embody wisdom, humility and selflessness. Thats a tall order! It's very deep stuff but its what keeps us passionate about this work.

@Conrad “Effort psychologically means thought went beyond its limits. Do you see what I mean? Desire, pleasure seeking, looking for happiness through memory/thought means we think doing that will make us whole/complete/in a state of bliss. But thought can never offer that, and when it tries to that just sustained false self. “ @Jkris

Again sorry for bursting your spiritual fantasies then when you AWAKEN you become God no oposite is the case you realize you are the devil. After awakening True work starts. Self actualization self-realization (notice word self/ego) most effective way to lure devils in. In search for bliss ?

Right! I'll abandon my bliss and keep seeking in order to.reach your enlightenment.. But wait, that's weird, because as awareness I know that's the end of the game. Seeking and awakening is part of the dream. Catch 22 eh?

@Aakash as you become more and more conscious you will embody Truth more and more. Part of this is love. Infinite Love is selfless. Now just because you are enlightened doesn't mean you have to necessarily help other people. It would not be wrong for you you to go live in a cave and bliss out 24/7. You could still be at stage turquoise and do that..but generally at this stage of consciousness you engage systems and holistic thinking and want to make a difference collectively and not just individually. That is not mandatory though.