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About flowboy

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  1. If only people could be relied on to choose what is good for them... Psychedelics are (sometimes) beneficial mostly because you can't choose your own adventure once you're in it. It shows you what it wants, and you have to surrender to it. Part of the experience will be difficult and exactly what you don't want to experience. And that's where the growth comes from. This device, like all other choose-your-own-experience inventions (internet, social media algorithms, Door Dash) will be used for porn and instant gratification. The knowledge that is instantly accessible can be useful, while the people accessing it become increasingly more useless, addicted and lazy. In the end, we will realize that accessing ChatGPT through a computer screen is more useful than accessing it through a lazy human, constantly distracted looking up porn or engaging in twitter arguments in their head, too lazy to even form sentences. It will mean the end of usefulness of the human. Of course, some people will be able to use it wisely and with restraint. Not most. The fact that a phone screen can't be constantly watched and fiddled with, is what protects many of us from complete degeneracy. Forget the gap between poor and rich, this will exponentially widen the gap between the 1% reasonably disciplined and successful, and the useless and suicidally depressed dopamine addicts. I'm with @Leo Gura on this.
  2. @k-ahmadzadeh I can't help you heal your psyche through forum posts, but I can share what I've learnt in studying this topic, which is this: hopelessness, pointlessness, uselessness, helplessness are feelings that belong in childhood. They make sense for a child going through suffering, because it's completely dependent on adults. An adult is not. Whenever an adult is feeling these things, it's the inner child speaking that is still suffering.
  3. Not untrue, but it's important to realize that the intellectual level of the mind is an outflux of the deep feeling layer of the mind (where the unprocessed pain from the past lives, in your case hopelessness/pointlessness for example). So, however convincing your valid propositions, if your underlying feeling state was different, your mind could craft an equally convincing set of arguments that would increase sense of meaning etc. In short: do not take your thoughts as absolute truths, they are just the result of your deeper state of mind. If you have hopelessness to work through, it's going to push your mind to create arguments that rationalize that hopelessness. Work through the hopelessness by putting it in proper perspective (e.g. in therapy, realize it comes from not getting needs met in childhood and grieve those unmet needs properly [not an exercise you can do mentally, there needs to be emotional release]), the underlying hopelessness goes away, now your thoughts convince you of happy things. I'm not just blabbing, I've worked up close and personal with people who have gone through the process I have just described, and their depression completely went away. I hope you watch the videos.
  4. @Ramanujan I've seen her code when she got the job, it wasn't anything impressive, but she worked at it. I imagine she's good now. I think they took a liking to her because she's an ambitious hard worker and did extra things like create a hobby website for teaching programming, and Toastmasters.
  5. yes, she had a bit less choices of company, because not all of them wanted to do the VISA thing, but she found one. Had to move to Amsterdam for it.
  6. I've helped people with trauma reliving, big and small, and delved into that subject quite a bit. If you want to free yourself, you have to go option 1. The other options are good, but to jump to them and leave it at that would constitute spiritual bypassing and gaslighting your inner child. There's an awful lot of intense emotional pain behind this incident, which you are going to have to feel, in order to release it. Please do not use psychedelics for this. Let your trusted therapist help you relive it in bits and pieces, sober. Feel the helplessness, feel the terror, feel the anger, feel all of it. That will set you free. It's great that 5-meo-MALT helped you discover this thread, but if you go deeper into it under the influence of psychedelics, you might bite off a little more than you can chew, and you could be faced with serious depression, panic attacks or psychosis. Which you can avoid if you do the reliving part sober. I wish you all the strength 💚
  7. There's no unsolvable problems from a psychologically healthy perspective. Either it's not unsolvable, or it's not a problem. Reinhold Niebuhr said it best: In your example (the depression), you could go two ways with it: See it as "not a problem". Figure out what you want to do and how you want to live, and do it anyway, even with depression. See it as solvable. One medication not working properly doesn't mean it's unsolvable. There's hundreds of medications that you can try, and besides that, medication isn't even the best solution for depression. Certainly not the only one. Psychedelics can cure depression. Primal therapy cures depression. Working through childhood trauma cures depression. And there's many other therapies that don't involve medication, that can work well. Here's a deeper point I want to make: pointlessness, hopelessness and uselessness are not based in present reality, they are symptoms of an unhealed psyche which are being projected on top of the present situation. A healthy psychological response would be to not mix the hopelessness and feelings of defeat, which are remnants of childhood trauma, to mix with the assessment of the facts of the present day situation. To be able to separate the feeling, which is an old feeling, from current reality, is the important skill there. Watch this:
  8. I run a trauma healing focused accountability group, and my thoughts are that people are mostly not going to be serious long-term about what they don't pay for. It's the sad reality. In fact, I didn't make mine paid until people literally begged me to, because they wanted everyone to be serious about it.
  9. I'm a programmer for a company in the Netherlands, not Canada which is where you want to go. But anyways, where I work it's like this: Your age doesn't matter, your skill matters. We hire people in their 50s if they know what they're doing. You can get a job without a college degree, but you need to prove your skill. Ways to do that are: Previous working experience. If you don't have that, then have these others: Having created interesting projects (have a GitHub portfolio that you can show and talk about) These projects should be somewhat relevant to what this companies are doing, hopefully in the same lang/tech stack too One of their engineers will probably look at your code and they should think it's decent Proficient knowledge of the language (can answer advanced test questions) Passing practical tests in programming assignments as part of your application Getting online certifications. Microsoft and Oracle offer those for example. Your communication with humans is just as important. I can tell from your posts that you need to work on your English a bit more. Someone who doesn't speak English or Dutch really, really well wouldn't get hired where I work, I think. The better you can speak and write, the better your chances of getting hired. So I would advise choosing which programming language you like best (one that is widely used today, for example C#, Java, PHP, C++), and start learning it really well and building your portfolio, and getting an English language tutor as well, for example here: https://www.italki.com/. Any sector you go into will be using complementary technologies and languages as well, so depending on what that is, you might also want to pick up JS, Python, Spring, React, or others... What those tend to be, you can see in the job listings. https://stackoverflow.com/jobs/companies Having done one or two courses is not enough. You need to practice a lot, because when your manager tells you "Build this" you need to know what to do. But it doesn't hurt to start applying to jobs early, and just see how far you get in the application process. What their criteria and demands are. You can already apply from where you are, many companies hire remote even outside the West, and some might even help you with the VISA (acquaintance of mine got in that way from Russia)
  10. Can't be that difficult. I know tons of people that have done it. Seems to be a promising cure for opiate addiction, apparently you really don't want it anymore after a flood dose. That said, someone I know was at an iboga retreat recently where this woman was suddenly dead. Super weird. It's not as safe as psilocybin.
  11. Yes. I have gotten quite a bit of progress with talking to strangers while taking LSD at festivals. Great fun, too. And wonderful insights. @Shrooms_Alvarez Well I hope you don't mean me. I just said that if you want to find the root cause, and change that, then psychedelics are not a safe option and you would risk messing yourself up. However, I'm making a nuanced point here trying to bridge vocabulary differences: what most people would consider a root cause, I do not. You see, you can have a psychedelic trip about something and have an insight about where it comes from, for example: "lack of self acceptance" or "negative subconscious beliefs" or "lack of trust in myself/the universe" Those things are not root causes. And then with a bit of luck, your mind can be rewired to ditch that negative belief, or remember that feeling of trust for example, and make progress that way. And that's what all these psychedelic healing stories are about, people have insights, change feelings, beliefs, and make progress. It can happen. What's wrong with that? Nothing. Try it. But as others have stated, it doesn't take you all the way there. Psychedelics can be great for unwiring the most problematic knots in your mind! Those knots are there for a reason though, or rather, there is an energy driving your mind into those knots. That energy is something that you have never felt before. And your mind is creating those knots in order to keep you from feeling this forbidden thing. You will not be able to guess what that thing is with your mind. It is literally a feeling you have never felt before because your system thinks it means DEATH. Because, at some point between ages 0 and 7, that was true. Now that energy is still there, and it is creating many other knots in your mind, and in your body. Think of other irrational emotional issues you might have, negative recurring thought patterns, physical tension, sleep problems, you name it. Unwiring one knot makes space for the other. This is what I mean by root cause. I know how to get to that root cause, and when you feel an authentic desire to go there, trust me, you don't want to be tripping. For now, I think you should try psychedelics because you seem really curious about it, and some short-term wins would be good for you.
  12. @Javfly33 At the risk of stating the obvious: have you considered iboga? It would solve your problem.
  13. She sounds pre-psychotic. Don't take psychedelics with her.
  14. Could be just your inferiority complex talking. She didn't say anything implying a value judgment of you. I believe generally the conscious thought of women when they reject goes no further then "meh, I'm not feeling this vibe". In my personal experience, that can be made worse because my inferiority complex made me put too much importance on this particular contact, somehow the "common interests" made me feel like I had an unique scarce opportunity there. Whilst in reality, common interests mean jack shit. And then I can easily get into subtle conversation dynamics where my investment doesn't go down when hers does, and that loops back on itself until she's had enough.
  15. Thanks Yes, highly recommended.