flowboy

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  1. @Chakra Lion Alright, if it's strong enough to withstand my heckling, maybe it's for real. Congratulations. I responded like that because I went through a similar thing, only I was only convincing myself of it to shield myself from the pain of seeing that she was hurting me and did not respect my boundaries anymore. I guess I had an unconscious impulse to wake you up to my projection. But I suppose the projection was inaccurate, and if you indeed have no regrets or bitterness about this later, you had a stronger basis of self love than I had at the time.
  2. @Raptorsin7 I did a Primal retreat with Puja Lepp
  3. I'm taking lion's mane fruiting bodies extract in capsules bought off Amazon - so far, not noticing anything major, so couldn't recommend for or against. I only know that products made from the fruiting bodies are better than those from the mycelium, so that is a thing to check. Never tried fresh or dried actual mushroom, if you get good results from that I'd be interested to know!
  4. David Deida has many books on this subject - I'd start with The Way Of The Superior Man. As a person who has attended tantra workshops where the most practical parts of this theory are taught - have you considered going?
  5. Do you care about fucking lots of girls, or do you just want to meet someone so that you're no longer distracted by the desire? If the latter, you might try the One Approach A Day approach - which is exactly what it sounds like. This way you're still improving, but not in huge chunks of time. Who knows, you might meet someone pretty quick. If there is self-esteem issues holding you back, there are more time-efficient ways to fix those than just massive going out.
  6. Most people in general don't do anything out of their comfort zone. They count on meeting potential partners through friends. If that doesn't work out, they complain to each other and drink.
  7. I was chronically slightly depressed, feeling inferior to most people I interacted with, did not feel like it was possible for me to make new friends, did not feel that people would want to hang out with me because I could contribute nothing valuable, would turn red and shy away when I saw a girl I'd really like to talk to (still happens sometimes), did not take good care of myself, smoked a lot, drank a lot, would feel a massive fear of missing out whenever there was a party I wasn't invited to, but then when I was invited to a social event, feel a massive anxiety and chicken out, I wouldn't recognize when girls liked me, or when I did know it, it would trigger me to be fake and fuck it up, need I go on... I haven't done a lot of pickup, though. I'm introverted so it's very exhausting. Mostly self-esteem work and trauma release.
  8. Coaching - jokes and reality I joked to someone on the forum today that I offered a coaching program. Then it hit me - that might be worth a try. I've been told by multiple friends that I offer good insights and emotional intelligence, and I enjoy helping my friends with that. I always have. Of course I'm not allowed to promote myself doing that on this forum, but I think I actually will start something, as an experiment. Yes, I'm full of shadow, and a work in progress. But that's actually good, because I'll have to keep working on myself too while helping others. And that will allow me to stay humble and not get a big head about knowing everything. I might actually do this... it suits me much better than the latest business plan I was working on. Which was so far from my natural abilities, so why not try this first? I've dealt with ADD, depression, anxiety to talk to women, low self-esteem, lack of life purpose... overcome most of those, some I still struggle with, but I've been very aware of how the process works and why, every step of the way. I might be totally delusional, but there must be some gold nuggets I can share...
  9. @RawJudah Food won't fulfill anybody long-term either. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with it. It could be a never ending game of unhealthy snacking and dieting, or it could be a conscious trajectory of a few years, trying different ways of eating healthy, and through experience finding which foods agree with you best. Sticking to those. The girl I'm dating currently I met her walking to a park two weeks ago. She attempted to keep the recommended distance while we talked at first, but I didn't make a big deal out of it, so then it sort of naturally went away because of mutual attraction. Yes they do, and they hope desperately for someone to do it right finally, and not chicken out. They wish they could do it themselves, but culture forbids them. Just having the balls to start an authentic conversation will make her delighted that she's met someone better than the hundreds of creeps who made half-assed passes at them that day.
  10. @RawJudah Lots of topics have been posted with that question, some might interest you. I'd say it depends on the person. Most people who ask that question have a (sometimes very repressed) desire to bang lots of girls because they feel a lack, they have a hole in their life where experience with dating and relationships should be. Many of those people are unconsciously afraid of facing rejection and doing emotional work, and some conveniently use moral judgments absorbed from their environment as an excuse to skip it. Those I would advise against skipping, because they will never be truly able to be fully happy and present with one person, until they feel that they've sown their wild oats. And that's not fair to the person they end up with. Some others truly have never felt any lack of sex, they had some experiences in their youth that came quite naturally and that they are content with. And after that they soon found a relationship that works for them. They don't have a lingering desire to explore dating, and are really just feeling pity and wonder about the others' desire for promiscuity, because they themselves are happy with their partner that they already have, and don't see themselves wanting any other situation in the future. For those the answer would be no. Yet others have little experience with sex, but decide early on that it's not for them. They tell themselves that it is impractical, wasted energy, and for this and other rational reasons they will try the path of spiritual bypassing and meditate their sex drive away. This is generally recommended against, because it leads to a nasty shadow. To transcend being human, one needs to fully have been a human. (I think. If you know of anyone who successfully purified his sexual desires away without living them out first, and did not become a massive devil, let me know) I happen to be the first category, due to having a lot of missed opportunities during my teens, because my self-esteem and emotional intelligence were not adequate to properly interact with girls who liked me, all the while I was very sexually attracted to lots of girls I've known, which created a sense of lack. Because I am the first category (without the moral judgment part), I tend to project that onto everyone - which is not always accurate. One can only know by honestly looking inward.
  11. I do offer a coaching program - which you can PM me for Good luck on your journey!
  12. Even though the last part is a disaster waiting to happen when doctors and physical therapists read it, I'm still saving this into my OneNote page with the best quotes related to dating... thank you Leo
  13. @Vercingetorix No, I mean what I said. You can't teach what you don't master. See what I'm saying? As a therapist you have to be able to teach people how to have healthy boundaries and value themselves. But you yourself don't have them, or you would not be in this relationship. If you had healthy self-esteem, you wouldn't waste your time with a girl you weren't attracted to, and if you had healthy boundaries, she would have been out the door the first time she hit you. I have read your rationalisations for staying, and I call bullshit on them. You are just scared of being on your own again, or secretly think you don't deserve better. It's okay, you are human. I'm not judging nor trying to be mean. But these are the problems that a large chunk of people go to therapy for to fix. My point is that for the sake of not just you but also your clients, it is imperative that you do the work on yourself to the point where this situation could never happen again. So that then you can pass on this wisdom, from a place of having been there and overcome. (If I totally misread the situation and you are actually a physical therapist, or some other specialty where this doesn't apply, I apologize for my harshness - I took a shot)
  14. It's all in The Way Of The Superior Man and other resources by David Deida. Go read them. It's all about deep intimacy, love, relationships and sex. Just go experience life man. Have a dozen more relationships. You're not ready to hear the answer to what you are asking.