flowboy

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  1. So I toootally meditated again, 10 minutes this time. Realised I'm in a state of overwhelm, and headed for a caffeine-fuelled burnout. It doesn't take much for me. The signs are there: Unable to relax my body, it's twitching and tensing up in weird places Avoiding sleep and relaxation Doing extra work at late unpaid hours for my employer Checking github right after waking up (used to be Tinder) Increase in irritability and painbody attacks So I shall quit coffee again and compile an overview of stuff to do, so I feel less overwhelmed and don't use work as an escape
  2. @LoveandPurpose Thank you, I appreciate you reaching out! I will watch it and see if it applies!
  3. It ended up being 7 minutes of meditation at 3 a.m. ... But still! It led to more good things, like going to the gym this morning and buying better food for myself (smoked trout, tuna in olive oil and coconut yoghurt with blueberries and pieces of coconut). Something Duncan Trussell said hit me: "Not too tight, not too loose" It's easy to go from "everything is perfect the way it is" to "it doesn't matter if I eat bad food and don't exercise" It's a paradox, and I can't resolve it. You're absolutely perfect the way you are. But you could do more.
  4. Looks like we're wrestling similar things, at least the smoking part. Best of luck on your journey! Followed.
  5. Today seems a nice day to try the dreaded "meditation after work" thing.
  6. I was scared to click because it would be uncomfortable for me to learn discrediting information about Leo and have to stop taking his content seriously, but quickly found out that there is nothing to fear. This guy is mostly reacting emotionally and whining how he doesn't like the way Leo presents his ideas. "Who do you think you are to tell me this and that" and the like. Pretending not to hear Leo saying to not take anything on faith but verify for yourself. And then telling his listeners to 'learn from their own experience', like that's contradicting Leo (it's not). Well, okay. I've certainly been there. For a guy at that level of thinking he's expressing his ideas in an okay manner. Everything has a place. Sounds delicious!
  7. I'm going back to my original method. Documenting my behaviour because awareness alone creates change. All these insights are great, but I'm not above addiction. Yet, or maybe ever. Having something important to do certainly helps. But many successful people smoke or overcaffeinate themselves. So to live a healthy lifestyle goes nicely with living with purpose, but it still needs vigilance. Got up at : 9:15 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 0 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 25 Total infield time : 12h20 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (168/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 0 alcohol : 2 caffeine except tea : 0 TV : 0 grains : 0 sugar : 0 dairy : 0 peak orgasm : 0 porn : 0
  8. I feel you. I also am on a break currently. I'm currently thinking that cold approach works best for me when it's not one of my main most-serious goals, but a side thing I do for fun and is very low pressure. But that theory will have to be tested.
  9. That was inspiring and beautiful to me!
  10. I didn't go back to smoking. I'm eating a mix of what I consider to be super healthy, and some sinful things like pudding and chocolate here and there. My routines I'm not using right now, but hoping to go back to them soon. Currently my studio is too messy to properly do yoga anyway. Or cook healthy food. But all of that doesn't matter because... I spent the entire day yesterday building my app idea! It doesn't do anything yet because that shit takes time. But that's not the point. The point is: I spent my free time productively and creatively, working on something that I believe in. For myself, not for my employer. My conclusion is that as long as I'm doing that, I can feel good enough without getting laid, eating super clean, sticking perfectly to my habits, et cetera. I can even be late for appointments, forget about things and people, miss workouts, all my vices. Doesn't matter. I'm not trying to run away from something bottomless anymore. I am wearing the pants of purpose. 😂😂😂
  11. Fuck that for now. What do you think? It is more powerful to do what you think is right, and find out for yourself.
  12. This is my tip. Be consistent with it. Add a little bit to it every day for a month, until you have a beautiful outline of an amazing life you could have in some years, describing every facet of it. Detail the friends you will have, the girls you will fuck, the work you will do, the habits you will have, the places you will visit, the books you will have read, the food you will eat. Details. Specifics. It doesn't all have to come true, but if you keep it vague you won't inspire yourself. Dare to dream. Watch Leo's video on victim thinking again. Then re-read this thread again and count your limiting beliefs. Count how many times you say: "I can't, because X" Now don't worry, you are showing willingness to try things so you'll grow out of it at your own pace. But be aware of it.
  13. Express it. You've already concluded that you can't suppress it, that doesn't work. But you can find an expression for what comes up, share it openly with your environment and that will be transformational. The example of walking by yourself and tripping: maybe you can shout at someone: "You didn't see that!:D" I have practiced this in a relationship for a long time, which helped me a lot. Every time I would detect that I subtly manipulated the situation, I would talk about it. "Babe, I have to admit that I just said X because well I meant it but also I was hoping a little bit that it would cause you to do Y" But also outside of a relationship, you can express these egoic tendencies to friends and strangers. It's very healing. "Man, I feel weird being the first one here" "Actually, I'm lying, I think your idea is awesome, I just wanted to play it cool, ha ha" "No, I'm trying to listen but man this isn't really my cup of tea. Can we talk about me again ha ha" You can express anything honestly if you use humor.
  14. I understand not having time for a lot else besides your degree. But you certainly have time to start writing your vision. Thinking it will be different when you're older is a trap. Being 26 feels exactly the same as being 20, I can tell you that. There's no magical certainty or direction that just comes with age. You won't believe the power of repeatedly writing down what you want your life to look like. Make a document right now. Add a little bit to it every evening. Or morning. Start small and add more detail gradually. Add your wildest dreams. This is what creates motivation. Getting up is easy when you know what you're doing it for. If you start right now, you'll benefit from it right now. It helped me immensely.
  15. @Zigzag Idiot @tsuki You have no idea how much I needed to hear some comforting words like that! I'm tearing up. Thank you.