zeroISinfinity

Drink coffee kiddo you'll need it. Black turkish strong one. To help me don't fall asleep. All of this really didn't do me any good at all. It's much easier like there is LoA so you follow and be amazed. But this is just bullshit like it is. Easy for awakened who didn't get abused for first 20 years of their lives. Easy for them but not for me. Many many reasons why I crave this. Well I do it's my only real desire everything else is just bullshit. It is. Conciousness is doing everything to return me but it just ain't gonna happen. Problem Is that effects are oposite. Raising vibration so freaking high that everything points at you as God and you are just like I am not interested and I don't care anymore.

Want 8 hours of meditation instead of sleeping. Hell yes. I do beleive it's possible. To return. Just fuck all of this. If I continue will be just monk on my own because I am just not interested. Done my part served well. So lets do it. Interested only in my primordial state and for that everything has to go.

Again crush kiddo. Yeah. Here are some some issues. Like. How the fuck I motivate myself for survival? Earlier I liked to learn explore talk with people and I was one of them. Reality existed before I was born and will exist after I die. Could be happy if I achieve something and be proud of myself for working hard etc. Now WTF. It won't be such problem being all alone and already at Home(already dead) but MYSELF pressures me to manifest stuff. As Alex I knew what I wanted normal life never asked for anything. Everything which I do I do on my own. I was really ok with this. There is big problems with motivation. Like huge ones. Wish I never awakened fucked my life with it. I really did. As Alex I know what to do. But I now have no idea how to continue and in so many I do not want to. If I have to be dull blown ❤️ well I do not need this dream at all. That's really true. Can't continue without denial. Like it's impossible to continue dream. Need space and sollittude. All people removed from my life too. For some time don't wish to see anyone.

@Raptorsin7 Thanks. We are gonna make it. Seems MYSELF is quite awesome. self transcendance wraps your mind around hahahaha.

New project Love it. Be sweetheart. Yeah.

963hz ftw. All these candy bars placed with utter perfection and highly conviniently. 😉

So kiddo you are going for 0.001% Yeah I do. Done with pretending. It's done forever. Remember "earlier" when I was interested in psychology I had this line of thinking. Hey I can't base happiness based on external stuff I own. Is it possible to be happy with whatever is? Beleived psychology will help me with this. Never beleived in "my life" that Uncoditional Love will be felt as God. Feeling so strong. Unshakable.

Searched 🧐for my brain never found one. Found something else but not a brain. 🤪 🤫 Somehow able to type this without it. 😂

OMG I think I will die like a rat. HAHAHAHA

@Raptorsin7 Very nice. Need to read your Journal to see how you are going. Thank you so much you've been so helpful and kind. Thank you once again. Everyone awesome beyond words here. Thank you SELF.

You go to law school? How these 2 connect?

@Raptorsin7 No. If I meditate on ❤️ for purpose I get something along awakening lines. Kinda dunno. Strikes me and pisses me off honestly. Just Love me.

Even this forum is dream. For God's sake what a turn of events. 👀

Thanks man. You know what shocks me the most. For maybe years I haven't seen anything "bad" happens around me. Today I went for a walk and all people everything around me good and loving. Including all human interactions. Jed said create dream life. But I want to start it from zero. Feeling very deep need for it. Some sort of spring cleaning empty piece of paper for new novel. Ofcourse I do not want to open strip club. But could create construction firm. From zero to Hero type of thing. That would be awesome.

No worries mate. Ok ok I get. Sharing LOVE with itself. Harvest the Matrix All wrongs undone. I get it. Complete mind rape. Dream board on. Will fill this bitch like a pro. I get everything + I help God awakes in his another dream. It's awesome blows my mind.