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About mmKay

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  1. I'm aware I'm sharing this more for an Ego boost than just for the sake of sharing or helping others a bit to grasp awareness, but here it is: After watching the "Understanding How Paradigms Work" video, something clicked during meditation. "Thinking is a paradigm, and so are words". Basically I started stripping away " Fog " that was clouding pure "awareness". What I did was to stare at a wall with the intent of not labeling anything. Any attempt to understand experience ended up in the use of Thinking & Words paradigm. It is not " wall " , that distinction between it and the rest of objects is created by me. It is not " white ", it is not " see ", and the wall doesn't have a story. After some time of struggling to keep focus on this "non-judgemental awareness" I started noticing "something" that is everywhere. Something that is everything. It was what the wall is made of before I conceptualize it as wall. So was the hand I was looking at, and so were the thoughts I was having, so was the thought of " me ", and so were the perceptions I was having. The best description of it that I could come up with was " It is what it is, and It is aware of itself " but that is still not accurate. I experienced why it impossible to explain "being aware" since the one and only way to "understand" it is by experiencing it, and why talking about it is so wierd and unclear. Because it is literally " Ineffable ". If there is some word that can describe the experience, it's that one. The clarity lasted around 5 min, with "waves" of "it" being more clear, or less clear, and then it slowly started fading, being gone after a couple of minutes. It sounds to me like some of the descriptions of "awakening" that I've heard, and Leos explanations of " everything is made out of Being". But for me it was pretty much like having some candy at licking range away from your mouth, but you end up not being able to chew on it and just salivate your mouth off. So if it was that, it was some really shallow experience. Or I'm just deluded. By the way, I feel like every single word we speak or think should be in between quotation marks. Makes it that more accurate that it is not the actual thing that we are referring to. Obvious but not really.