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About Igor82

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  1. I really like this, I have never thought this way before, thank you @Serotoninluv Now guys, what about actually fulfilling your needs in another way than porn? Your cravings for PMO can actually be made out of your needs for something, needs for physical touch, for the feminine essence, etc. Maybe it is that you have a part of yourself that you cannot apply self-love to, and the only way this part of you can get that love and relief is to overwhelm you with cravings. A human doesnt actually need to watch porn, so why do you watch it? Contemplate on this from your subjective experience, dont sit and think about "dopamine", or "your brain or porn" here. The need to watch porn has all to do with how you fulfill your needs. I have found that thinking about porn is what causes the suffering from it. You dont suffer if you smoke a cigarette once in a while and then never think about it again, but you do suffer if you smoke a cigarette after having been an addict, its the same act but a different way of thinking, its the same with porn.
  2. I have found that for me to be able to stay consistent with the gratitude journaling I will have to develop a secure daily habit first. Right now, the friction of having my gratitude journal on this forum outweighs the benefits. There is friction in having the same style of journal on two different places, there is friction in how I chose my words, in having to open the forum rather than just my commonplace book... I feel like I need to solidify the habit and mainly do my gratitude journaling in my commonplace book because I feel like its important for me to reduce all possible friction in the name of the survival of this habit. I might post something here once in a while as I know its a cool read for some of you Or maybe not... maybe this is the end of this journal, who knows? This post is just as spontanious of a heart-felt desicion as the start of this journal With love & gratitude, No hard feelings
  3. 2019-12-25 Thank you Eleonor for your beautiful voice Thank you for your beautiful drawing Thank you for the wonderful thoughts I get for you Thank you mom for the nice watch Thank you Serena for your smiles Thank you for the food Thank you for the comedy Thank you for the consciousness Thank you for the tears Thank you for the love Thank you for the satisfaction Thank you for the energy Thank you for the lessons Thank you for the growth Im grateful for my willingness to fulfill my needs Thank you mom for taking charge Thank you Serena for the work Thank you for the vulnerability Thank you for the future Thank you for the gratefulness Thank you for the feminine Thank you for the wisdom Thank you for the balance Thank you for the suffering Thank you for life Thank you Älva for your voice Thank you Åke for your prayers Thank you for the music Thank you for this day Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for the honesty
  4. 2019-12-23 Thank you Bill W for your kind words Im so grateful for feeling on track with life, knowing exactly what to do next, and knowing where that will lead me Im so grateful for the wonderful intimate relationship I have with Eleonor Im so grateful for the conversation I had with Eleonor yesterday while I was doing my cleaning job, we talked about our future, our emotions, what we love with each other, how grateful we are for each other Im grateful for being so good in bed! Im grateful for having experienced Eleonor crying as we cuddled in bed listening to a love song Im so grateful to feel how it is like to feel inspired after amazing sex! Im grateful for being so comfortable with expressing my feminine side Im grateful to slowly realize how my childhood has always aligned with my strengths and values Im grateful for the run I did to the sea around Eleonors place Im grateful for the music! Im grateful to realize that music is what im so passionate about! Im grateful to have done and come up with such insightful answers to the Lp exercises Im so thankful for the wonderful food! Thank you lord for this wonderful life, and this wonderful woman Im so grateful to have such a nice relationship with my family Im grateful for the call I had this friday with SYV about how serious school is Im grateful for having brought the piano to Eleonors place Im grateful for the insights Eleonor gave me about music, love and consciousness Thank you for my room! Thank you for the food! Thank you for the water! Thank you for the freedom! Im soo grateful to myself about my willingness to actualize my potential! Im grateful to discover my willingness to keep my ego in check Im pretty grateful for having experienced a simultaneous orgasm with Eleonor while not wearing a condom! Im grateful for discovering more about what makes Eleonor feel good Im so grateful the insight that the only thing that matters is how I feel with Eleonor in the now. That I take decisions concerning us, based on how I feel my purpose, and to leave the rest to being fully me and in the now in her presence. Im grateful for the sweet moments I had with Eleonors cat Dennis Im grateful to be writing this Thank you for the piano Thank you for my home Im grateful for having slept on the bus Im grateful for the energy I felt this Sunday morning because of having passionate sex with Eleonor Oh, thank you for the Love, im so grateful for felling in love with Eleonor Im grateful for all the things she teaches me Im so grateful for the inspiration she gives me! Lets go! Im grateful for the picture she gave me, for the blowjobs she gave me, for all her moaning Im grateful for my ability to relate to how she feels and what her body wants! Im grateful for my penis is big enough to penetrate Eleonor deeply Im so grateful for being able to be totally comfortable with expressing myself to Eleonor Thank you Eleonor for the Tea! Thank you mom for the cake! Im so grateful for my sister being able to take the initiative, helping mom clean her room Holy shit im grateful to experience this relationship with Eleonor while being so young! Im grateful for the future! Im grateful to feel like the future is my safe-space Im grateful for having analyzed what I naturally do during the days where I don't have a schedule Im grateful for not having eaten for 16 hours after this big unhealthy delicious meal I ate yesterday Im just so grateful to be alive in this moment, to have cultivated all of this with trust for something good. And now im here! Im grateful for having woke up late Im grateful to be writing this right now Thank you for all the knowledge Thank you dad for being so nice and loving Thank you Leo for being such a huge part of my life & knowledge Thank you for the love, the tears, the insights, the wonderful experiences, the confidence, the relating, the sweet words, the motivation, the inspiration, the dreams, the future, life, creativity, intelligence, gratitude, consciousness. Thank you for EVERYTHING!!
  5. 2019-12-20 Im so happy to be home! Thank you for the good food Thank you Serena for your wonderful company Im so grateful for having only focused on introspection today Thank you Lord, for the exquisite insights! Im grateful that mom is happy Im grateful for the advice I have received from dad Im so grateful to have touched the piano this evening Im soo grateful for having talked to Eleonor 2 times today. Im grateful for her wisdom and for how that helps me see what within me I have to change. Im so grateful for her love, im grateful for all the thoughts I have of her Im extremely grateful for the wonderful insight I got today, that when I am with Eleonor, I shall be with her fully in the moment, rather than trying to hide some part of me trough logical thinking about my ideals of giving love to her. Those ideals are what hinders me from fully being with her, and she feels that. If I want to be with her, it should align with my purpose. Otherwise, I can't. But when I decide to be with her, I will give her all of me, and the happier I am, the more amazing it will be for both of us Thank you, bartender, for cutting up my pineapples Thank you, random stranger, for giving me a few puffs of that joint with some gooood shit Thank you Serena for buying me a bottle of vodka, and for leading me through the city so we wouldn't miss the bus Thank you Will for being so awesome Thank you for the love Im grateful that kept my desire to learn trough today, as that showed me so much about what I can do to grow, it showed me many of my weaknesses. Im grateful for having meditated on the bus Thank you for the music! Im so grateful for the experience I have had with Copenhagen and the insights that has provided Im actually grateful for having had the experience today of being picked out by the Swedish police customs to be searched for illegal drugs, and at that point, I was super grateful to have not brought any drugs with me It was my first time and that was an interesting experience. Thank you for the love Thank you for my home!! Thank you for the good food! Thank you Gothenburg for being such an awesome city to return to I just love it all right now, im so grateful for my clarity of purpose Im so grateful for my growth Im grateful to be home to be able to write this! Wow, I have missed this so much haven't I? Thank you for reading
  6. Yes, its important to not think about porn all the time. What worked for me is indentifying what needs im satisfying with porn. For me it is: A sense of connection and a fulfillment of my need for physical touch An intimate moment with the feminine essence To see and relate to how the feminine moves to ecstasy An easy attempt to have a spiritual experience The trick is to not focus on quitting porn, but rather focus on satisfying your needs that porn is currently satisfying for you. Experiment! Go to some tantra yoga event and do some physical touch with people or some eyegazing, and see if that cools you off. For me Ive met an amazing woman that satisfies all of my needs above, and so I dont feel the need to watch porn anymore. And if I do watch porn, its because im deficent in these needs, and if I relapse, thats okay, because I know that if I just satisfy these needs I will not think about porn! We are not wired to watch porn. I believe that if we satisfy all those needs that makes us crave sexual satisfaction then we will not crave to ejaculate or watch porn, furthermore I believe that ejaculation for men is a conscious choise and not a need. Just as giving your greatest gifts to the world is your conscious choice and not your need. What also helps for me is to practise some taoist techniques, that will give you a way out of having to ejaculate all the time. Get out there, find a girl, or get your needs met in some other healthy way. Remember, if you are still thinking about porn, you wont be able to quit it, those thoughts will attract porn sooner or later. And those thoughts will only go away if your needs that porn currently fills is satisfied in another (healthy) manner.
  7. @modmyth Thanks! @Raptorsin7 Its more like a practise to chrystalize all the nice things that has happend during the day, and this makes me more able to connect to gratefulness, express gratefulness and be more satisfied. But I did start out feeling really happy about life, and craving to start a journal like this to not waste the benefits. Its more like I practise feeling grateful for the little things, so I try to remember all the good things about my day and then apply the gratefulness to those things, but im not gonna write down a thing that im not grateful for. I really feel grateful for some of the things that I write down, and some other things less. I generally try to stretch out the feeling of gratefulness as long as possible and apply that feeling to as much as possible when I do the journaling, so with this journal, gratitude is something I activly try to feel more of rather than trying to be honest about ”did I really feel grateful for the breakfast I ate this morning when I ate it?” I just try to look back on my day and try my best to feel as grateful as possible for what happend during that day. For me, its about feeling as grateful as possible. And it works! Its makes me feel more grateful about the things that happen during the day when they happen aswell, and thats the real benefit.
  8. 2019-12-16 Im grateful to be in Copenhagen Im grateful for having met Will Im grateful for the compliments Will gave me today Im grateful for having gone to the Barchetta class Im grateful for having danced with all the girls at the Barchetta class Im grateful to have had the change to observe the beautiful Barchetta that everyone danced at the bar, especially that expert guy in the yellow t-shirt Im thankful for the free food I got from those two women Im grateful for having laughed so hard with Serena at Nils Ericsson Im grateful for my passport photo having been so good Im grateful for having had that conversation with those Christians just now Im grateful for the outwordly wonderful texts I got from Eleonor Im so grateful for the call I made with Eleonor and im grateful for every word we talked about Im grateful for loving Eleonor so much! Im grateful for staying in such a nice Hostel here in Copenhagen Im grateful for the potato meal I ate at lunchtime Im grateful for having slept enough Im grateful for having felt so incredibly confident in my ability to communicate with people today Im grateful for the humor Thank you for the food Thank you Serena for the help Thank you brain for coming up with clever solutions Thank you Eleonor for telling me that you love me unconditionally! Im grateful for the love I feel Im grateful for the problems that I need to solve Im grateful for having had such a smooth morning Im grateful for the wonderful bus ride to Denmark Im grateful to see such a beautiful city!! Im grateful for the lettuce Will bought me today Im grateful for taking my time to write this down Im so grateful for my future, for my consciousness and for all of this! Thank you lord for blessing me with such a sweet life! Thank you for the wisdom Thank you for the reassurance Thank you for the compliments, thank you for the sentiments Thank you for the dates I ate this morning Thank you mom for making me smile, thank you for smiling Thank you Eleonor for your wisdom Im grateful for the almond milk I tasted today Im grateful for having got such a good service from the bartender at that certain place Im grateful for having had such a sweet conversation with those women and girls at the bars Im so grateful for having settled down in Copenhagen like this, feeling safe and secure Thank you for tomorrow Thank you for the art.
  9. 2019-12-12 Im grateful to have met dad today Im grateful for the laughs we had in the glasögon shop Im grateful to have hung out with Serena and to have such quality time with her Im grateful to have played on a grand piano today Im grateful to have learned what a grand piano entails for technique Im grateful to have met Olle today Im grateful for the email I sent to Eleonor today and for the time I invested in writing that. Im grateful for having felt so wise after writing that email, thank you for letting me know that im really intelligent! Im grateful for my social courage to interact with people the way I want to Im grateful for having such an amazing mother Im grateful for the powerful words that mother said about school this morning, and im grateful that those words seemed to come from her heart rather than her anger Im grateful to anticipate a call from/to Eleonor right now Im grateful the guided wim-hof breathing session I did tonight Im grateful for the wonderful food I ate as I came home Im grateful to have resolved the emotional knots I had between Olle Im grateful for the walkthrough of instruments and technical stuff I had at Arena29 today Im grateful for getting more intimate with my weaknesses, knowing that I need to hone my skills of time management and circadian rythm. Im grateful for the full moon Im grateful to think of Eleonor and the wisdom she gave me about the full moon and letting go Im grateful for having Olle seeking wisdom from me Im thankful that I have such confidence to realize that its not about how you look, but how comfortable you are with how you look! Im grateful for the ambient music I hear right now Im grateful to have practiced being disciplined in the morning Im grateful for having practiced playing fantasie impromptu correctly on the grand piano! Im grateful that we came into the practice room so smoothly! Im grateful for the call I had with Älva today Im grateful to feel confident in the face that I will share the detail to Älva of how I've lost my virginity with Eleonor Im grateful to be able to find so many things to be grateful for on a day I would call "bad" Im grateful for having eaten protein yesterday! I feel so good! Im grateful for having managed to take such a smooth cold shower! Im grateful for practicing being vulnerable like this, getting better at letting go of certain filters in my gratefulness writing Thank you for my room, thank you for all the opportunities Thank you for the honey, thank you for the food! Thank you for the water Im grateful to have fulfilled my social needs Im grateful to be so willing to be strong and not give up on my ambitions Im grateful for tomorrow Im grateful that im one day closer to meet Eleonor Im grateful to learn so much during these days Im grateful for my willingness to make it better for myself Im grateful for my needs Im so grateful to feel inspired that 5meo thread on the forum! Im grateful to intuit that I will soon also have such a breakthrough Im grateful for having the calling to trip on LSD with Eleonor Im grateful to feel like my values list is so accurate! Im grateful for those tiny moments where I feel like the world is so beautiful Thank you for the hardship, thank you for the desires. Im grateful to know that im growing, and that im willing to grow and wont stop until ive reached the stars and above. Im grateful to stand naked before you all. Thank you for your wisdom Im grateful for having such beautiful things around me! Such beautiful people, such beautiful opportunities. Thank you. Thank you! Im grateful for having done a little bit of the school work. Im grateful to feel certain about what I want to do next Im thankful for all the saxy ladies I saw on the streets today Im thankful to have written this post like this, to feel more comfortable with being consistent and staying vulnerable. Im so grateful for the relationship I have with Eleonor and how that is changing me day by day! How the universe has surrounded me with such amazing people, has given me so much amazing ideas. Thank you! Thank you! Im grateful for how I feel right now. Thank you for the love.
  10. 2019-12-11 Im grateful for having met up with my friends today I am grateful for having observed those friends trying to neurotically kill time, that was ugly but insightful I am grateful for being able to write such a long email to Eleonor concerning my feelings, thus breaking out the expectations we put on our email communication I am grateful for the wonderful food I cooked today Im grateful for the exercise I did today I am grateful for having has such a nice shopping experience with Bananmannen I am grateful to have had such an inspiring nightmare last night I am grateful for my inspiration for waking up early tomorrow to see the sun I am grateful that mom had softer feelings today Im greatful for the inspiration I drew from the music video I saw posted on the forum today, and how I can make the same stuff only if I work on it! Im grateful that I committed to learning more about Ableton I am grateful that I made a nice song with my friends Thank you for the wonderful cooking experience I had with my sister today Im grateful for the Glögg Serena gave me Im grateful to be living in such a nice room Im grateful to realize more of what I want to do in life and why Im not motivated to do school Im grateful for my willingness to pursue energy and productivity! Im grateful for having my needs met by Eleonor Im grateful of knowing that Eleonor thinks about me Im grateful for my courage of being able to be vulnerable to the forum like this Im grateful that Eleonor confirmed that its okay that I mention her name in this journal Im thankful for the thoughts I have of how sweet the future will be Thank you lord for the music! Im so grateful for the wonderful meditation session I had this morning with Synctuition Im grateful that I met Serena on the bus, im grateful for the laughs we shared on the bus and how that felt like we were making peoples days Thank you Eleonor for the wonderful emails! Thank you Serena for the help today! Thank you for the love, thank you for the inspiration, thank you for the luck and thank you for the creativity. Im grateful to have a bed to sleep on Im grateful to have a food to cook Im grateful for my ability to run Im grateful for my ability to see Im grateful that I see how im more vulnerable and thankful in my daily life Thank you Eleonor for the inspiration you give me to be more energetic and productive! Im grateful of the strategies I think of for having a better relationship with Eleonor Im grateful for knowing that sharing my honest thoughts and emotions with Eleonor is the best way for me to feel free and give love Im so grateful for the future! Im so grateful to think of the future and to almost cry by knowing how sweet its gonna be with my relationship with Eleonor and my road to achieve my dreams. Im so grateful for all Ive got in my life, im grateful for being wise enough to be grateful for all the good things I have in my life. Thank you lord for this life! May I be able to give back in the future <3 Im so grateful for being able to feel this grateful Thank you Leo for your wisdom Thank you universe for the amazing relationship I have with this amazing woman called Eleonor! I feel like the luckiest guy in the world Im grateful for having written this post. Im grateful for having broken through into gratefulness today, to have broken through into vulnerability by writing this post knowing that people will read it. Thank you mom for the food, shelter, love, hugs, security, time and motivation. I love you! Ahh, I love all of you!
  11. Yes, it is. If you eat 6000 calories of fruits every day then you will meet your protein needs just fine... And some people do it! Like this guy: Here is a good video about the topic:
  12. 2019-12-10 I grateful for the nice conversations I have had with Eleonor trough email today I am grateful for being around my sister and getting insights about myself from that I am grateful for the food mom cooked for me today Im grateful for the delicious sauce I made Im grateful for the beautiful improvisations I made on the piano today Im grateful for the effects of the Modafinil I took this morning, I like that is was so nice and it made me so productive. Im grateful to discover the nice potential of Modainil Im super grateful that I went for a run this evening! It made me feel so good as I stayed home working the whole day! Im grateful for my willingness to go home and chose sleep over roaming around the city I am grateful for the salad I ate eysterday I am grateful for the good sleep I had I am greatful for the super funny stuff I came up with my sister today Thanks for making me able to see my sister in a different way after she has come back Im grateful for having watched Yes-theory today and that it inspires me to go and take ice baths with Eleonor! Im grateful for the sweet thought I have about Eleonor Im grateful for the stamina I had during the run Im grateful for having seen Martins cool headphones Im grateful that Martin asked me what was on my heart Im grateful for the Psytrance that my sister showed me Im grateful that I did the math homework Im grateful that I feel capable of doing the rest of the school work Im grateful for my room being so beautiful Im grateful for feeling such positive vibes when revisiting the forum Im grateful for having started this gratefulness journal Thank you lord for the good food, for the nice thoughts about Eleonor Thank you lord for giving me such nice creativity yestesday that made me write that poem Thank you for the tears, for the music, thank you for the love Thank you for the struggle, thank you for the strength Thank you lord that when I look in the mirror I can see such a beautiful face Im grateful that I feel so smart Im grateful that my sister will leave the house tomorrow Im grateful for having many social options Im grateful for realizing my weaknesses, im thankful for discovering that im able to be disciplined Thank you the universe for having paired me with this wonderful woman, I wouldnt have it any other way Im grateful for the inspiration I felt to start woking out again Im grateful for feeling so grateful. Im grateful that I have so much to be grateful for! Thank you for the water, the energy, thank you for my abilities. Thank you for the flow! Thank you for the wonderful thoughts of opportunities to make money the way I want to Im grateful for having watered my flowers this morning Im grateful for having been brave enough to take a cold shower Im grateful that I now know what writing like this feels like, and im grateful experiencing how it feels to attempt full transparency Thank you for the confidence. Thank you for tomorrow. I love you! Thank you thank you! Thank you for life!! Thank you for my capacities. Thank you lord for these wonderful memories, thank you reality for being so sweet!! Im grateful for having Grammarly correct my spelling
  13. Hi there! The purpose of this journal is to spread positive vibes to all readers and also motivate me to keep consistent with journaling about gratefulness. I will focus on writing bullet lists of what has happened during the day that I feel grateful for while keeping full transparency and not filtering my words trough knowing that people are reading this journal. Gratitude journaling has many benefits, mainly that you will become much more satisfied with what you've already got, which makes you enjoy reality more, rather than trying to escape due to dissatisfaction. And the more grateful you become, the more things you will feel grateful for!! So let's get started!
  14. A package of fresh dates. It gives you the energy you need in a healthy way and it's compact and very quick if you can find some. That's how I do it. Easy: you can make nice meals out of canned corn, just take that corn and mix it into a bowl with whatever you would put onto your sandwich. It gives you a little better nutritional value than bread while it isn't that dry, just carry around some cans of corn and store the additives in some other container. You can also mix in some olives. Corn benefits from being canned as that's the only way you can store it without having to pre-boil it, as when corn ripens it turns the sugars into starch, but canned corn is fresh and delicious! No gluten, raw & more fiber! Aim for highest quality corn, but I think ordinary canned corn is still a better replacement for wheat
  15. One thing is to experiment with being able to relate to your polar essence's direct experience. For example, when Im high on weed im much better at relating, to things, to people, molding my experience into something that I think they are feeling, and so I went and watched porn (classic weed activities) to soon find out that if I don't jerk off my mind goes crazy with sexual energy, and I was able to think up and strongly relate to how the woman was feeling in that certain sex scenario. I kind of project the feeling of being filled up with love and joy as I've read that that is what women feel during sex, I projected the feeling of being penetrated, and then I could resonate with her desires, how she would enjoy being dominated, how certain woman fetishes actually fits in with what I relate that she is feeling... its crazy, but as a man, you resonate with it because a part of you is a woman. And then when I have sex its easier for me to predict what she would enjoy - of course, based on what she has enjoyed from me previously but also what I think she would enjoy based on how I have related to the feeling of being a woman during sex. Like, she may like that you are pulling her hair or pinning her down, but why does she like that? And why does she like the unpredictability? Dont mix logic into this, think of yourself as a woman then feel it. Action: Watch some healthy porn, don't jack off as that eliminates your ability to fantasize, and then try to relate to how the woman feels. Or just don't watch the porn, and then its easier tp actually think of how you would look like as the sexy woman version of yourself, and go with that. Hope this helps, I got jealous of Serotoninluv getting called a sex god so I wanted to share my unique thoughts...