Igor82

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About Igor82

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  • Birthday 07/09/2002

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  1. I want to add that I went to a place called "Walkfeeling" here in Sweden, where they basically train ordinary people and athletes to walk and run with a proper posture. They told me that what posture does is that it increased our ability to breathe more deeply, with more air in the lungs, and also to have the muscles stay as relaxed as possible. When we have a poor posture, there are minor muscles that strain in order to compensate for the core muscles not being that strong, or the wrong muscles having its movements been chronically habituated. Proper posture will only strain the major muscles, while the hips, neck, and shoulders stay relaxed. Imagine having a perfect posture, as if you were a Winning Phoenix, walking tall through life with confidence, deep breaths, and relaxation. That's Walkfeeling for you.
  2. @OBEler Thank you, amazing man. I have this playful attitude with 5-MeO, I have this vape that works wonders, and this powder that can easily be inserted into the vape, so, I can experiment with the substance to really build a relationship with it. I think that an easily accessible relationship with 5-MeO is what will spawn amazing trips through something like the 80/20 rule. Take it slow, but take it! It's quite an experience to just take a super minor hit, and feel how it feels. To be in control in that sense, and through control, surrender control, by taking some more @Leo Gura Haha! Yeah. Thanks. Some day ill be sitting in that bathtub with 25mg's up my ass. Or casually vaping breakthrough doses while sitting on the bus or something. @Gianna Okay, so yeah. Essentially, things like knives in the house is food for thought. So, what will probably happen is that fear will spawn morbid thoughts, and if there are knives in the house, one might think of using those knives to die. The fear spawns these thoughts (risk of death). Once when I plugged 5-MeO, I had a sweater which when I was high on the 5-MeO, this sweater started feeling "hot", and the fear I experienced hooked onto this experience of "hot" projecting the cause of fear of death onto the sweater, as if "the sweater was killing me". But this was just a projection. The thing with fear is that fear resides in emotion and thought, but we have the choice to act on that fear or not. If we act on fear, that will complete the fear cycle, creating more fear, creating more fearful thoughts. If we act upon fear, we can trigger panic. Now panic is quite an uncomfortable experience, also dangerous as that might result in an accident. Fear uses doubt. This is why prior experience can help a lot, because that disarms doubt. I have no doubt that vaping 5-MeO lasts for only 15 minutes, and I can use this certainty to disarm my own fear. Something like: I have a trip sitter here, and I have no doubt that my body won't receive any harm due to this experience. But if I start doubting the psychedelic, or the actual safety of my experience, fear can escalate a lot easier in thought and emotion. But the last thing you want to do is to act upon that fear. Rather, we want to surrender to the experience. Surrendering is done by not acting into that fear, rather, be the watcher of every single feeling or thought stemming from the fear, sort of be the seer, lovingly allowing any thought or feeling to arise. This is the key to dealing with fear, watch it, and don't act. But hey, what if I see a bear in the woods? Well, then you are certain of danger, and that certainty makes you act. But why can't that certainty make me act in the case of 5-MeO? Because with 5-MeO, you are certain that it's all right to observe the fear. That there is nothing to be afraid of. Set and setting are important to facilitate this mindset that "there is nothing to be afraid of if I just sit here on the couch"... Until you sit long enough to realize that fear is rooted in duality, and that the actual bliss of unity makes fear melt away - Another way to disarm fear is just to connect with the simplicity of reality, where duality collapses, simplicity (unity) arises, and so there is like nothing to be afraid of, because there is nothing but one thing. In this way, love always wins. Like: "There is not even anything to be afraid of, like, why am I even feeling afraid? Like all stuff has melted away dude, why are you even afraid?? There's nothing here!" And so, bliss.
  3. Happy Easter! 🥰 I vaped 3 hits of 5-MeO Oxalate just after having smoked enough hits of weed to feel high. This report was copy-pasted from my journal. I will answer further questions about the experience if you have any. Namasté This was before yesterday, when I had the urge to just get high, and after this 5-Meo experience, came an urge to have freedom in how I eat, and what I do. I ended up talking to my family, Iris, Serena about things, while eating a lot of food. I also took a walk outside, eating banana chips and drinking juice. - So, I brought out the 5-MeO, as I saw it to be appropriate to mix with the weed that I was just smoking. And so I took some, and experienced the fear, yet, I also experienced this serene safety of being at my home, where nothing could go wrong. I remember that the weed high, even though it was 2 weeks ago that I last got high, was very clear. One thought that was most triggering as I vaped the initial 2 hits of 5-MeO was that "this was gonna last for a long time, as I was also high on weed, and maybe the synergistic effects of these two will make it all last longer". I surrendered this thought. After two hits (experiencing fear), I had the urge to take a last one (excited, turning my excitement into positive action), all of the hits were minor, yet I knew that this last hit was gonna turn the experience into something profound. Here is what followed: Fear was present, Body and mind started slipping away. Thoughts became obvious, now obvious creations out of nothingness. Coming from nothing. This nothing could spawn any thought into existence, hence it created reality. This nothing was also beyond the senses, as the senses were soaked in the nothingness. I could also say that the feeling-experience of this nothingness was Huge, it was Huge. So large. At this point, I was kind of murmuring to myself how Leo would say it, that "it's infinite, its infinite, etc", because my thoughts describing the experience was aware of the size of this void, and the thoughts couldn't grasp the void with any size measurement that the thoughts themselves could express. So, the thoughts kept happening, observed to be creating the perspective in which I ground reality. Time seemed to slow down, yet I was still grounded in time, as the illusion of time was still solid, still something to return to, every heartbeat, every second. Yet it was frightening to be in touch with this the enormous creative power of the void, as I could create the death of my body right then and there if I so wanted to > by jumping out the window. But I didn't. I chose to murmur the words to myself: Love, infinity, bliss, ecstasy, joy, God, Creation. And these words set the tone of what was being created in the experience. How did I know that the void was endless? Because it was clear that everything in my experience was its creation, coming from this "space". It's difficult to explain this space, as explanation is a part of the space which creates thought. We can say "Whatever I explain the space to be, is the space itself, taking certain shapes". Yet by the experience getting contorted to have everything in the experience point to the space being there: the intuition, the thoughts, the colors, the senses, as they all were formed, but most importantly how they are were seen indicated there was a "seer". And this "seer" is present as "a void", in which all thoughts spawn. Where it becomes obvious (as an insight, expressed even through thought at that moment), that this void can create anything it wants. And so it's understood that this void is beyond all things that is "seen", that the "seer" is thus unlimited. It takes on certain shapes as it wants to, it's the creator and what is being created - Because it takes on shapes which itself is made out of, as the substance of the shapes is the void, just because the void is creating everything. And so the creator is the created. And so we can say that we are under constant creation, by an infinite void which we are. Oh, what a bliss. Oh, what a bliss. The very last thing that was glimpsed before the ego came back to its grips was how loving it is. How loving creation is. How allowing it is. How beautiful. Most of all, how allowing it is. It allows anything, in love with anything, everything. It allows itself to be created, in any shape or form. There were no "rolling on the floor in love and bliss", but just a kind of "mild awe" of this realization. The feeling of ego coming back to reality is that time came back, thoughts became structured as usual, and the fear just vanished. When I opened my eyes, the OEV had reality be white, as if it was 50% "faded to white". I think that if I would have taken a fourth hit, that the void would've became more total, saturating my sense of self, expanding the sense of self to be one with the void. This triggers bliss, melts away all fear (fear is untenable in unity), and re-contextualizes the senses and any thoughts to be of the creation of me as void.
  4. I have combined both. I realized that I can try to vape the 5-MeO Oxelate that I have thought is only used for plugging, and when I tried to vape it, it gave the same effects. Since then, I've taken out the vape when I felt like I could use it. Up until now, I wouldn't say that I have had "full-blown Ego-death". More like all things getting reduced into one. More like, realizing that imagination is the basis of all of existence. I will post a trip report about that. Leo, you should say "Whenever you get the urge to do weed, do it, but add some 5-MeO to the mix! The brain fog from Cannabis actually gets neutralized by the clarity of 5-MeO. It's like 5-MeO is pure clarity, such that all the illusions melt away. But the effects of cannabis are kind of "foggy", where we tend to for example forget our thoughts. When you are really high on cannabis, then go try some 5-MeO. It clears everything up and gives the high a tinge of ecstasy. Also, it seems to me that the Cannabis makes the 5-MeO last longer (in combination) and the visuals get affected to become more beautiful. The cannabis visuals are kind of subtle, as when one is looking at a white wall, it gives the effects of as if we were looking at one point on that wall being sober - kind of "applying" certain patterns onto the canvas, but in a subtle way, as if it were a template without content, structure without content. Combining 5-MeO (vaping) with Cannabis sort of fills that visual structure with more content. At one point, I was seeing eyes! As if certain strategic points of my visual field became eye-like. The thing that is the anti-dote to fear when it comes to 5-MeO, is that 5-MeO approaches nonduality, which makes reality simple. And simplicity is the essence of bliss. How can one be afraid when there is like nothing to be afraid of? And at that point, bliss occurs. Or at that point, I should've taken another hit from the vape , to fully merge with the nothingness so to speak. The worst thing that can happen with fear is if the thoughts, emotions, and actions are under the control of fear. So, the worst thing that can happen is if we act on that fear, which reinforces the emotional state and the thoughts. Acting on fear is basically to panic, and to let the panic snowball. Fear is emotional and triggers certain thoughts. The key to fear is to be the observer of those thoughts and feelings, without ever acting out. This is what we call "surrendering", just observing, just observing. One can do this several times to get the hang of it. That's what I'm doing with the 5-MeO right now. In preparation for a big ceremonial breakthrough down the road...
  5. I have dry fasted for 5 days once in my life. I don't remember how "beneficial" it was. Long story short: I was thirsty. Here is a video of an expert that explains the thing about dry fasting. If I would fast, I'd rather water fast 100% of the time.
  6. @Nahm I felt lucky, so I stayed up. Wow, epic response. Thank you! So true the thing about not having any reference experience with you compared to my sister so that I am free to choose to create lovely images. These images change based on what I choose to see, sometimes based on what I feel. Im feeling stuck in a pattern of feeling-reacting-protecting. Feeling so invulnerable, like a statue... I think you know what I mean. I think of you like a glowing man Brown hair! And this thought makes me feel comfortable and cozy. So it feels so important to let others express their own cozyness through receiving such love from my body and presence in return. You know, like you do through your words. Affirming, very affirming. Yes, I am more specifically talking about hidden emotions, I really think so. Oh man, just as recently as today have I actually noticed these patterns occurring in my mind. Yesterday, I swear to God, was such a good day!! I met these beautiful people when being outside, but today I didn't feel the same way, and so these familiar thoughts came along with familiar emotions, to create a deja-vu experience telling me something like "you have not grown a bit". But this time, I managed to let it dissolve, kind of as I snapped out of it saying with presence: "hey man, I don't believe this anymore. I love you". The thing about "applying human" took me by surprise, and kind of had the thing about "cherishing the ego" making sense. Hey, I just said it actually! I snapped out of it with presence! - well, first of all with a contradictory but loving voice... but I think you meant that the ego party is created when we kind of bathe in that voice, and those emotions. Because love in that case means presence, meaning dissolution of old inappropriateness (so to speak). The thought of using love based (thus probably contradictory) voices to trancend these emotions into more loving presence feels winning to me. That's kind of a rare occasion for me, to have people become super-mysterious. Yet I can see how that would actually work!! I'm projecting a lot of things on my Sister and my mother relative to seeing them as mysterious. I want to trust God's attention! My trust has 'nowhere' to go! It's a leap. I thought that I need to battle this problem on the realm of emotions, kind of using emotions against emotions, not having a rule of thumb- kind of a grasp on what anchors the emotions. And so I'm pointing to presence, because if I can look at my emotions, as I believe they will arise, seeing them as a choice! You know like I did today with awareness, and tied into that, noticing my projections, through acknowledging that I'm also projecting "human"? Previously I have tried to "find the joy", seems hard to do directly when in a state of fear. Yet seems more possible when the stepping stone to this joy is presence & seizing projection. Sounds good so far. Okay, sleepy time Sweet dreams my friend. With certain people, it feels like I have known them for a long time, because I can be myself with these people, and they accept all of me! It makes me fall in love with them!! Oh, I am in the process of learning how to express my innermost joy to my sister and my mother and I am thankful to God for being in this process because it lets me learn how to love other people fully. Thank you god. Thank you god. I am dreaming of fully expressing my joy to other people, and I know that learning how to do this with my family is very valuable in this adventure. I am not sure if I will be able to fully express myself to my family, yet I believe that I will come "very far (like, what is possible?)" in 'mastering'/'harnessing'/'creating' expression of joy, emotions, presence, creativity, love, god. I feel insecure in my wording here (can of worms), but to put it simply: The world will witness expressions of love, coming from this body, which will radically inspire the hearts of many, to do the same for themselves. Because I am here celebrate God with as many people as possible! Haha! I don't know how, yet I feel grateful in advance (inspired by Conversations with God) for the beauty that will follow. Oh boy, it will be Grand. Okay, waaay off topic Ill let myself message you tomorrow about booking a call. I will book a call with you. Bai.
  7. @Eren EeagerSocialization requires other people, you, and a suitable environment. Hey mister! Aside from all recommendations you have read prior to this comment, please try to visualize yourself socializing. According to the book: Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, I think you have an "issue" with your self-image, in the book, Maxwell draws a clear line between studdering and self-image and self-belief. And all of those potential "issues" are cured by improving self-image. Which can be done through combining winning-feelings with imagination. Your mind interprets reality with imagination, with thoughts, and so, all stuff is in your mind so to speak. Your self-image is there, so you can come up with thoughts which your mind "can interpret as reality" which will actually improve your self-image, because they "are real", "have happened". They will spark emotion. Visualize! Visualize yourself taking fluently with great friends at a bar, and in this environment, practice. Find the Winning-Feeling, as you are talking fluently to your friends in your head. That winning feeling is like a snowball, keep it rolling!! This will also motivate you to then go out and try this in real-time, and then go home again and visualize some more! Visualization to improve self-image is quite effective for social anxiety and such things. Effective for me for pickup.
  8. Little off-topic here, sorry @Nahm Hey, I visit your links and stuff. YOU'RE ALIVE! I went to the bathroom thinking that I might request a call with you, but then when I thought of any problem that I might present to you for us to solve, I knew that I actually have the ability to solve these issues myself. Haha, issues. The only issue is, why don't I ask myself? Resonating with you a lot right now. In the future, we will work together. Ill find you. Because I want angels like you to speak in resonance with music! In ways that I know angels will like. Thank you god for such inspiring messages sparking resonance like 2 clicks away. Based on how happy I feel right now, I feel really enjoying talking with beautiful people. I like you, man behind the words. I love you. Ahh, I kind of missed you. Okay, I came up with a question. How do I find this joy and light in relationships which I feel to be limiting and uncomfortable sometimes? For example, I struggle to look my sister in the eyes, I struggle to look my mother in the eyes, as I feel afraid and uncomfortable doing so. Which ties into lack of expression of pure delight to these people! As if I'm gonna receive pain for being too happy. I want to be joyous around all of these people! Just like how I feel when I'm writing to you. An answer I have come up to this question is to sit and journal with my inner child of why he feels uncomfortable to express himself with certain people & situations. But that feels hard... Yet isn't pain required to be felt? To be respected and loved? But bringing it to light feels uncomfortable, something which I didn't do before. I think the answer is a commitment, a promise to love! A reconnection with inner strength that supplies courage to the part of me suppressed. To come forth, gently, honestly, lovingly. Lol. I'm answering my own questions. I like conversations. It's like journaling, together. Now I feel some of those emotions again... Tired too. I will go to sleep hugging myself. Goodnight! Thank you Nahm.
  9. @Nahm I just read your post. Uhh, that was amazing? You are poetry! Words as specific as heart resonance. I noticed that Resonance requires a certain amount of light to strike a spark, from both sides! Maybe for someone else, they might not see all of what you write, but I did! And it was cool! Thanks Nahm! What resonated with me the most was "being yourself". Yes! That's so fulfilling. Hey, @Hugo Oliveira, it's quite fun to go outside, with the 'want' to socialize, with heart for all the beautiful beings out there, with desire to express attraction to all the pretty ones, and with courage to make them smile as you approach. It's easy once you get the hang of it. If it's hard, then I think you are trying to animate yourself as someone else. Find yourself. Your inner expression expressed, and go with that! I mean, I had such a beautiful interaction with a conscious lady yesterday. It was beautiful! She saw my light enter her presence as I followed the 3 second rule and approached her, right, and she blushed! It was beautiful! You know, and then we talked for an hour, then she took her train. I got some beautiful insights from that, how fulfilling it was just to look in her eyes. Those things are found outside of your home, at least. Beautiful people so to speak. You aren't chasing, you are WANTING! And you are expressing your inner fucking power to STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. TO RESPECT YOUR INNER WANTS. And she will like that. Like a wizard, you can make any girl smile, if you just believe that she will smile, because you know she likes how you are embodying power in your presence, creatively expressing it to her, feeling her. Its fun, go try it. Practice.
  10. My ex used to go to alot of these festivals. That was her lifestyle in her 20's, traveling the world, tripping hundreds of times on LSD while attending festivals. Here is a research paper I read about Dark Psytrance: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/282185848_Pushing_the_Boundaries_Investigating_the_Musical_and_Social_Aesthetics_of_Dark_Psytrance This article describes in similar words the way my ex described her experiences. Darkpsy was her favorite. She told me that dancing to it felt like a constant orgasm, especially on LSD, where the bass is the thing that causes the physical pleasure. Then, I can imagine, the collective thoughts, while all others are tripping. She described a peak experience she had on a darkpsy festival that caused her to roll in the sand, crying in bliss. Another experience where she took 600ug of LSD without tolerance, just to dance in the front row on a certain festival, where she described the experience as being "SOOOOO DEEP". Hehe, I kind of tried to pick her mind on these stuff, but still to this day, when I am high, I get urges just to listen to some psytrance so that I can uncover the "blissful mystery she described". But sure, if festivals feel like home for you, if you just have successfully opened a yoga studio, if you have not gone to a festival for 6 months, seeing all your friends there and stuff, dancing with them under the sun, high on LSD, maybe you would roll in the screaming with tears of bliss. I don't know dude. And not knowing this is kind of frustrates me. Makes me feel lower than my ex. lol. She told me that she once danced for 24 hours straight on "just one drop of acid". Here is one of her favorite festivals: Some of those people look quite high quality if you ask me. I would definitely cold approach all of the girls on that festival, I promise ... but watching the vid, I want to teleport away from this winter, right around that bonfire where the girls sit Personally, as I sometimes feel jealous and inspired, remembering my ex's stories of her experiences, as I yearn to have a memory of just epic bliss for some reason, I experimented with the darkpsy and psytrance. I have not tripped on a festival though, but I have went to a 3-day festival with 100+ people, and that was quite cool, but no peak experience, just felt as good as a workout with friends. So far for me, I judge the darkpsy lifestyle based on what I perceive from my ex, that it seems destructive. I mean, she danced for 24h straight!?! To Darkpsy?! If you ask me, I'm a classical pianist, I think darkpsy has a lot of room to improve in terms of harmonics. I like to think that the darkpsy is bad for the inner child. But I have not experienced it and have some negative emotions towards my ex so please take this with a grain of salt. I mean, the main issue is that the festival lifestyle doesn't really teach you the Leo things, so, my Ex had some emotional issues. But I am sure that an actualized person would really enjoy a festival with epic darkpsy and stuff, if only it doesn't hinder the self-actualization. To answer your point: For me, festivals seem to be only positive, as a way to invest "travel time" and if it doesn't ruin your self-actualization work. There are peak experiences to be had, comparable to how "there are peak experiences to be had in terms of taking mushrooms". Treat festivals like a giant trip, but don't get lost in the tripping. I think so many get lost in the tripping, so many turn to festivals to fill their holes and find their homes. But if you are self-actualizing, festivals would probably be quite a fun vacation, ideally used as a way to fuel your main lifestyle and purpose. The main thing about festivals is the collective consciousness.
  11. How does it work?
  12. @Blackhawk Predictable. Nobody with enough intelligence would ever deny immortality! Muhaha! One just gotta master life. @DrewNows Now that, is intelligent. Hey mister, what about perfect health? You will need that. One major contributor to aging is toxins and junk accumulating in the body. If enough junk is accumulated in the body, then yes, as Blackhawk says, one might not want to live anymore.
  13. @Blackhawk I'm 18. Do you say that this forum has deteriorated because of what I just wrote? Then why so?
  14. @Gesundheit Can be killed. Look guys, I think gratitude is the answer here. If I can say: "I thank god from the bottom of my heart, for a long fulfilling life my body might live, so that I can experience the spreading of my love through humanity", then I think that this is enough. I may accept that I can die tomorrow, but in gratitude, every cell in my body lived on to spread love for a long time. This is what I mean by the body "adapting" to living forever, and I am sure that gratitude is a very powerful force for the body to achieve this.