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  1. @Arkandeus This is some advanced stuff you are talking about. Indeed, there are infinite parallel realities and infinite timelines that are happening simultaneously in this infinite now moment. From a soul perspective before reincarnating on Earth, we chose a timeline where yes there are great polarities ideologically, politically, socioeconomically (in all areas of life; microcosmically and macrocosmically). And there is evidence of people who have been to parallel Earths where in 1950 full UFO disclosure occurred, and free energy was revealed to the public creating a much more advanced and integrated society. So we chose this timeline which has greater contrast as our fully integrated soul, because it preferred to experience itself physically in that way, for it's greatest personal evolution as a person. But as an ego we can't change our timeline, and we have to make the most of this reality we are experiencing right now. And spreading truth, shining a light through hidden organisational agendas is but one way in which we can raise the consciousness of this planet on a collective level, as seen by the effects of the parallel Earth described in the video above for having alien contact revealed. That created such a massive change!! And that is what me and Pluto, and may others are trying to do by talking about Chem trails, ET's, Urine, etc. as it is not only our highest excitement, but it most importantly, spreads essential awareness to people that they deserve to know. People are fish under water, and they don't know it. The least we can do is tell them that they are indeed a fish under water, and are influenced by manipulative forces that don't want humanity to evolve in consciousness. And our belief systems reflect the agenda of these manipulative forces. Just think about that. Everything you think you know could be falsehood. That is why we are here. Thank you for showing genuine interest in this!
  2. Trip Report - AL-LAD, 300mcg SET&SETTING: 11.2017 // It was Friday night, 20:30. Drunk people on the lower floor. I was alone in my room. Two tabs ingested spontaneously as an impulse. Swallowed without putting them under a tongue - took a little bit longer to hit, but not too long. I have said to dad that I have been drinking and can't drive today. It didn't matter, because dad was so drunk he was getting stuck in the loop and non-stop forgetting about everything. I have prepared banana and a cup of water. ACTUAL TRIP: I have planned to watch Leo's video about strange loops. I didn't go as deep into the topic as when I was sober. Psychedlic effects has hit during watching and I started to see blue light around character on the screen. I was watching the show on the phone with headphones. It felt different than when watching it for the first time. The biggest problem with this trip is that I don't remember the juicy parts. I have this feeling like a lot of cool stuff has happened, but I can't recall them, it's all so foggy. I will try to write up what I remember. Listening to Tycho - Awake, I was trying to contemplate. I had to have music on, because people in the house were too noisy. I have to say it's a great album, visuals it has inspired were off the Earth. Music felt physical, like it had 3D structure, a whole new universe hidden in a song, it was a pure beauty. I was thinking about strange loops and then weird thing happened... I don't remember the next hour. It's not like I have passed out or something. I was still listening to music and something like melting has happened. I totally forgot about contemplation. From my playlist's history I know I was listening to Glitch Mob's Drink The Sea album. It wasn't profound or anything, I can't recall any thought or feeling other than immense pleasure. When I have snaped out of it a lot of interesting stuff started to happen. I was conscious enough to turn music off. My sense of self was being ripped in waves. My body was taken away. I was experiencing lives of other beings, like an absolute empathy. I was some girl, some guy, it felt like I really had their bodies, their personalities. It was switching, no-self, some created self, my ego back, some created self, reality at this moment felt really big, but not infinite. Everything was just spacious. There were no walls, just body floating in some kind of energy field, full of fractals. Someone on the lower floor started arguing, I have heard that and got confused. My everyday ego partially crept back in for a moment to disperse the next second. Now I have become people arguing, was living their perspectives and their emotions. I had total understanding of emotions and mechanism rulling their interactions. At the same time, I couldn't care less about them, I was so understanding that I didn't care about what they do or say at all. Eating banana was an ecstasy. I ate only one bite to avoid stomach-ache. I thought my cup of water is empty. With smile on my face, I took it into both of my hands, put them into the air and asked for a miracle to happen, because I didn't want to go and refill it. I tried to take a sip from it and almost drenched myself, because it turns out it wasn't empty. It was funny as fuck moment. I have tried to do the pen exercise. You take a pen and try to see that it doesn't exsist, you can then see that nothing exists. It went different way than when I had tried it before. When I look at this pen now, after the trip, I feel intense presence taking over me. This task is easier on one tab. After that I said fuck it all, I am gonna have fun. I have listened to Scooter and Robbie Williams, because for weird reason they feel like evil twin brothers for me and it makes me laugh. Paradoxically it was a very deep and uplifting experience. I had thought a lot about human nature. Then Modjo - Lady started playing on autoplay. I went deep into this nostalgia trip, emotions were overtaking as I was watching a music video on YouTube. Later I was sitting on my coach, shifting between different states of consciousness. I realized that every undesired or bad thing in my life is there, because I want it on a deeper level, I can't say no to experiencing it from pure curiosity. I am sitting there as this Supervisor, owner of my own reality, it's my favourite element of every trip. Being this wise, totally confident person, that nails bullshit as soon as it appears, very grounded in reality. I thought I would like to feel like this all the time and then it struck me that I can. That psychedelic states of consciousness can be felt 24/7, they are not reserved to any substance, you just need to work your ass off and can attain whatever you desire. I have finished off with a walk on the fresh air. For some weird reason I was thinking about alien abduction, but quickly dropped this notion. Starry night sky is one of the most beautiful thing I have seen in my entire life. Everything I saw had this ancient egypt vibe to it. I was like a pharraoh or an ancient priest walking through the night on the desert. Very hard to put it into words. Mind was empty of thoughts almost all the time. Every street lamp has looked like an entire pizza-like shaped universe. I have returned home calmer than ever. SIDE NOTES: Overall I am not satisfied with this trip. It has showed me that many things are possible to change in my life, that it doesn't have to be the way it is right now. It was a lot of fun and serious at the time, but I feel like I have wasted the substance, It has a lot more potential and can be used in a much more profound way. I have liked the previous 150mcg trip much more, it was concise and harmonic. This one is pure chaos, a monkey-mind on a trip to the amusement park. Even this report is chaotic. I can't imagine how people are taking doses as high as 600mcg of this substance and manage to take something out from it. For me 300mcg is more than enough, I will probably stick to 225mcg dose in my next trips. It seems like a sweet-spot. But I haven't tripped enough to be sure. There are interesting after effects of this trip. For example, when driving a car I have moments of totally dissolving and merging with the car, it's such a cool feeling. I am still me, but everything happens so smoothly and effortlessly, perfect gear shifting, a lot more things get noticed, it last for few minutes. Another after effect is this being Supervisor feeling. I feel like I own reality and I am much more aware of many things, like for example posture or thought patterns. Clearness of mind is connected to this feeling. When mind clears I start to feel more grounded and everything happens effortlessly. It doesn't last long, but I would like to have it 24/7. I went on a walk one day and was just amazed with how magical everything feels. Everything was alive, I was contemplating nature and looking with awe at beauty of it. Funny thing with my contemplation is it sometimes goes into off-words-mode. It happens on another level, I catch myself that these words are no longer useful when contemplating such and such matter and start doing a thing that I can't fully describe, but surely something clicks in the mind during that process. Another after effect is disliking of certain foods, mainly fast-foods. I can eat bananas, apples and nuts all day. But eating salty sticks, it just felt terrible on the next day. I have automatically put some in my mouth without too much thinking and I thought I will spit them out. They have tasted like raw wheat and were almost impossible to chew. Pasta with meat - was terrible. Brussels = awesome. Burger from McDonald's was possible to eat, but not as tasty as always. I was farting and burping all the time. I should watch much better what I put into my mouth, after next trip. This time I was just curious how terrible something can taste. And I have found it. The most terrible, untasty thing in the world. Lech's brand alcohol-free beer. I was on Orgonite concert the next day after the trip and got thirsty. Considering that water in the club costs the same as a beer, I went for the beer. Usually I like it, but this time it felt terrible. Like I was drinking bleach. Dying would be more pleasant than drinking this beer. I have forced myself to sip enough to satiate thirst and got rid of it. Few days after I also feel mild effects on my body. I became touchy. I like touching stuff. My face feels pleasant, it's delighting to smile. I like touching my hands, holding hands and hugging others. Usually it's not my cup of tea, but now it's extra satisfying.
  3. @phoenix666 Dont start meditating when it arises, because that might be another way to escape. Rather go lay down and surrend totally. When anxiety comes up you start following it as best as you can. Its important to remember that this place you are exploring now is NEW when you follow it. So all you have learned and logic is useless. Just be with anxiety. Like its a alien you want know where he came from - sense of “want to know” is important, but dont talk with it or ask questions from him. Let he show you where he came from. Relax for a 20min before you start diving
  4. I believe the universe is indeterministic(not sure if that would relate to impermanence?). Order brought about by chance (quantum events?). Freewill exists as a potentiality, limited by the interplay of the conscious and unconscious mind (Alien hand/Dr Strangelove Syndrome). Perhaps more along the lines of degrees of freedom. Achieving "Absolute Freedom" I think would depend loosely on how the Ego is structured Purpose I think would be along the lines of teleology(becoming). To have purpose is to have the distinction between self and other. Maybe morality or Ethics, though not sure how to answer them in the positive sense. Having said that Actualism, perhaps along the line of Spinoza might be it, the predestination of reality would allow the fortelling of the future, Final Destination style. I think everyone at one time has odd occurences that they can't quite explain.
  5. @Alien Ice, choc almond milk, choc raw meal powder, a banana, and cocoa powder is a delicious shake. Great energy and mood.
  6. @Alien why do you want an alternative? just quit it for once
  7. I would give up thinking of reincarnation in conceptual terms because it is not something the body and mind can use. You've already reincarnated an infinite amount what recollection do you currently have of it? Probably none if you're being purely honest. You're already an alien on a planet in infinite space, if you're thinking about other aliens you've just grown bored of your current experience. There is nothing you can hold on to, absolutely nothing, everything you do in this body is temporary and nothing will be kept permanently, your true self is the nothingness or whatever else you want to call it. And the death of this body will not only mean you lose the body and experience but the entire reality, literally meaning any history till this date is lost in an infinite amount of possibilities, even people like the Jesus or Buddha are only relevant within this experience.
  8. Infinity is shared equally by all beings. Are we on the verge of meeting other intelligent creatures? https://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/937198/Truth-alien-UFO-chasing-plane Seems legit
  9. Article showing they were trying to get people to see Mars before it died; person claimed it was inhabited by ancient alien race. https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/pad4a9/the-us-army-funded-astral-projection-and-hypnosis-research-in-the-80s
  10. I feel you. The matrix is a game, just play. Just keep for yourself the things that may makes looks like an alien. Any discussion about "consciousness" is a distraction. Everyone around you is the most spiritual creature. Just "Be".
  11. I did not experience infinite suffering. It's just clear to me that I will reincarnate and experience the universe from every single possible perspective, as every living being, from an ant to a bird to Hitler to Trump to an alien. Right now I am experiencing the universe from the perspective of the person reading this sentence -- YOU! But that is just something Leo's mind cannot access because to be "Leo" is to be locked into Leo's POV.
  12. @daniel695 It's the same with Alien abductions for example. Very hard to differentiate if real aliens abducted the person or it was psychotic hallucination. It requires a very high and subtle level of discernment to distuingish real and unreal in these cases. The current paradigm of western psychology doesn't allow these things to be real, so it discounts all as psychotic episodes. But that's the same attitude as the Church who refused to look through galileos telescope
  13. Chapter 3. I wondered how long it would take before I slithered my way back into journaling. Two weeks. Not bad. This was my first incarnation, at the birth of the forum: That JJ guy had a few awakening experiences and immediately latched onto the spiritual ego like a baby on his mother's breast. He wanted to proselytize everyone around him to join "Group Consciousness," a coalition against all sleepwalkers. He preached from the bible of Neoadvita, using poetic Jed McKenn-an lines such as "There's nowhere to go," "Life is play," and "Stop seeking." Little did he realize, the group leader himself was an unconscious dimwit. Whoops! And then, the second incarnation: After realizing that initial spiritual awakening was not a cure-all for chronically low self-esteem, that JJ guy almost killed himself through orthorexia, an unhealthy obsession with healthy eating. He stopped running from the grief, the shame, and the anger of past hurts - and proceeded to fall apart. Back and forth, back and forth, he oscillated from immense love to immense hopelessness. He was standing at the edge of oblivion, looking down at the gaping hole, pondering about meaning and what to do next. But the Universe found many ways to save his life, whether through a yoga pose, a song, a book, or a few lovely forum members. He thought he wanted to be a musician. But after being immersed in the field for a few years, the motivation waned. Idealistic blinders removed, he made one final effort to publish five songs. And that was that. I haven't picked up the guitar or sang in a few weeks. The musician in me is dead, and I'm currently in the grieving process. Now, it's time to get real. I've had some profound awakening experiences. I have agape moments - those moments where you are so grateful to be alive that it tears your heart to pieces. But I still commit spiritual procrastination every day. I know the path (i.e. real life), but I avoid walking it. Nonono, let's not sugar-coat this with, "There are no such thing as problems, because #nonduality! Just contemplate! DOI DOI!" Been there, done that. Definitely helps to have that perspective, but if I want to be somewhat human again (which I think is preferable to being a nondual drunk-on-emptiness camel), I think it's a good idea to be as honest as possible with myself and re-establish balance in my life. Issues: Chronically low self-esteem. I spent most of my young adult life being bullied and sucking up to others. Now I subconsciously believe I'm unworthy. I also believe that I don't deserve to get what I want. Hence the spiritual ego, hence the desire for purity in mind, body, and spirit. Chronic social anxiety. I'm years behind in my social skills. I notice my subtle body contracts whenever I'm around people. I feel like I'm being judged all the time. Knee-jerk depression. It's 50% gone since I re-introduced meat back into the diet, but I still have some lows here and there. Being an INFJ and HSP, especially in a society that wants everything opposite to my personality. I judge myself harshly and beat myself up for not being like everyone else. ADHD. Again, tweaking the diet's helped a ton with this. Supporting myself financially. Uhhhh, what's a jorb? Body tensions. Improved a lot since starting hatha yoga, but still terrible posture, back pain, and psychosomatic issues. I don't know how to be a friend. No, seriously. I have acquaintances, but virtually no friends. I don't reach out to people, not even my brother. I don't know how. Sexual repression. Likely due to past heartbreaks and weird Freudian shit in childhood. Living in a town surrounded by old retirees as a twenty-something. Desires: I want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I want to love myself as I am. I want to be comfortable around everyone. I want to be as open as possible. I want to serve others. I want to feel joy again. I want to find my place. I want to be able to commit to things and focus without abandoning ship at any sign of failure. I want to choose what I watch on Youtube instead of the other way around. In the meantime, I'd like to have an enjoyable day job that doesn't sap my energy, so I can support myself. I'd like to feel like I'm actually in my body and not feel like an alien. Having a friend scares me and feels too labor-intensive, but I think it would be nice to try. I'd like to try dating again at some point. I want to live on my own again. I likely missed a couple things, but they'll appear later in this journal. Now is the time to learn how to do this adult human thing, one small step at a time. Now is the time to go from point A to point B. Now is the time for a journey to elsewhere.
  14. That's a rather flippant way to think of it. Experience is all you got. And it shapes you enormously. People who have not taken breakthrough doses of DMT cannot say, "Oh, I'm sure it will be a cool experience, but still, just an experience." No! That "just an experience" can transform your entire understanding of reality. Meeting a sentient alien face-to-face is a pretty big fucking deal. In the same way that if you woke up one day with Big Foot sleeping in your bed, that would be a big fucking deal. That's not merely an experience.
  15. I quit coffee last firday because I have a free period. For me after 12 years of drinking 2-4 cups of coffee daily (I started when I was 14!) it's not easy. I am quite sensitive to cafeine and feel the effects almost imediately. Today was quite awfull. I woke up around 10 in the morning, even though I put my alarm at 6. I am craving food now that my body can't get the dopamine boost from coffee. I can't concentrate very well and procrastinated my day away. I felt a light headache, and overall grumpiness. For the rest I felt okay.... My main reason for quitting is that I hope it will make me wake up easier and earlier in the morning, with a clearer mind without needing those cups of drugs. @Alien How are you feeling now? Any problems in the process of quiting?
  16. I don't know anything about an alien agenda but my experience concurs with his knowledge of life. A prime example of not judging a book by it's cover. Big up!
  17. I have held back from posting these videos for a while but i think its time to share a Master of earth video and i believe many are starting to become ready for this type of deep wisdom. This may push you to your limits if you are not already familiar with these ancient teachings but please do not judge or comment unless you have watched the whole thing as it can take time to process and connect the dots especially if this is new to you although if you are awake it should make sense now at least for the most part. Master of Earth aka Jayluvsu2 was one of the wisest beings i ever knew, his wisdom and ancient yogic teachings and through the videos he uploaded were far beyond anyone else uploading on youtube at the time besides a very few. I was going through my awakening on par with his videos and they helped me tremendously harmonize and synchronize with what was happening to me at the time and through his teachings and a hand full of others i found and met through my travels my Enlightenment which only so confirmed everything that he was speaking was of divine wisdom and divine alignment with the the absolute truth that has been hidden from us for over roughly 15000 years due to alien technology. I chose this video because i believe it is the most important one that covers many of the key factors to why we are the way we are today although he has many others and to understand what he means by "alien consciousness controlling our reality" because i know this will be the biggest challenge for the ego you would have to watch the few videos before this one where he goes into detail about what he means by it. Its not what you think. I believe this is the video where he goes into detail about stated above and why we are naturally water beings. Many beings today we call the "lightworkers" or "starseeds" have incarnated on earth from higher dimensional realities and or higher category planets in this specific time-frame especially in the last 3 decades in aid to spread the truth and expand the light among the masses because where earth was heading was a 3rd and possibly final self destruction that our ancestors had failed (study Lemuria & Atlantis, Ancient Egypt and the Emerald Tablets of Thoth and Thiaoouba Prophecy and The Law of One) are good examples so they created a system so we come back when it is near the "age of ascension" and the evolution of consciousness from 3D reality to 5D reality. Many incarnates that have been assisting are from neighboring starsystems like Vega, Pleiades, Arcturus, Sirius, Orion, Andromeda, Maldeck ect... and many more you would be surprised how many young people today are not originally from Earth or shall we say Gaia. This is why many of you never felt like home here, always felt more intelligent than others around you, always rebellious to the system as it never made logical sense to your inner-wisdom and understanding, always felt betrayed, targeted for being difference, for knowing things no one else knows even from a young age.. Now people, before you start to judge and attack remember that is the ego and remember you could be one of the assisting collectives and it would be a shame to blindly attack what you may not understand yet and what could be something you unlock in the near future. We have a choice now to transcend with the planet or remain in 3D and destroy ourselves. The cosmic window opened on December 21st 2012 and no one knows exactly what happened after this thus why the Mayan Calendar ended. They could not "think" or predict past this point as it was the next phase in evolution. All that 'end of the world' bullshit was to keep people in fear from the truth. This is also why exactly at around late 2012 and early 2013 and so on more people on the planet awakened on a collective level than ever before in history of human kind in such a rapid time-frame. This is also why many children today being born with advanced wisdom and psychic abilities far surpassing children of the previous years and naturally have significantly more DNA activated in order for this collective pursuit to save humanity once and for all. This knowledge has been hidden from us for thousands of years and we are hard-wired to completely reject, ignore and distort from the actual truth. This is not fantasy this will seen and understood by all in the natural evolution-ally process. I suggest meditation on connecting with your higher self to confirm all of what i have said if you want to know for yourself and if you are ready. This is not from too much sci-fi or star-trek this is channeled messages from higher intelligence whether you believe it or not is not my concern i will not argue but i will present what i know to be truth as it may liberate or or it may do the opposite. To each to their own. Now Master of Earth does not specifically talk about these things i have stated above that i am aware of although i believe it was important to add to harmonize more with the wisdom he presents and and where it originally stems from whether he was aware of it or not. I say was because no one knows where he has gone or what happened to him and if he never returns i thought its important to share at least one of his videos to spark some ancient memory complex in many of you i believe are part of and have not realized yet. Jesus was sent 2000 years ago for the same reason as was Buddha and a few others from superior/higher category planets to spread this truth to hopefully save us destroying ourselves for the 3rd time. The other two times technology surpassed spiritual evolution which lead to the cataclysms and nuclear wars. Look where we are today. This may seem like mumbo jumbo for many even among self-actualized individuals but i know there are many that know the truth within and will resonate one way or another and to those who can benefit from the wisdom shared. Its time to Wake Up Peace & Love
  18. I don't know, but apparently even the "shrooms" have a spoken voice. Even if that be some other level of thought conjoured up to be an alien voice, now friggin deep does that go? - Presumable that there are other levels of human experience that translate up through layers of consciousness as language?
  19. I'll copy and paste something I posted here last week, as a bunch of it is applicable to you, too. Do not freeze them; the ice crystals will ruin the cell structure and turn them to slime. Get yourself a cheapie food dehydrator at Walmart and dry the whole mushrooms until they are as dry as a cracker. You want them dry enough that they break very easily, without any bending needed. Cracker dry. They're then ready to use or store. To store, just get an air-tight Mason jar (more than one jar, if you have a big crop), put a dessicant pack in it and store it in a cool, dark place for up to a year or two. As far as dose, here comes the pasted post from last week. Take what you can use from it....... Yeah, if 2g didn't do much, I'd just say the heck with it and go with the famed "Heroic Dose" which is 5g dried, but if 4g sounds less frightening, then do that. Whatever method you use, do it after fasting for 6 hours. Food in your stomach will delay the effects and increase your chance of feeling nauseated or throwing up. Some folks love doing mushroom tea, but it never works as well for me as actually consuming the mushrooms. I got fed up with the tea method after raising the dose again and again and still not getting the effect of eating them, so I'm done with that intake method, but there's not much to it: heat up 1 or 2 cups of water (however much you'd like to drink), put the hot water in a coffee mug, finely grind up your bone-dry mushrooms in a coffee grinder until it's like baby powder, empty out a couple regular tea bags and then add the mushroom powder to the empty bags and let them steep in your mug of hot water for 20 minutes, squeezing the bags from time to time to ensure that the actives in the mushrooms are getting into the water.....and drink it. That's straight mushroom tea. The method I've found to work better than any other is to grind up the mushrooms as described before, put them in an empty coffee mug, add 2 ounces of real lemon juice, stir it up a few times while 20 minutes passes.....and drink it all down at the 20-minute mark. This is called the Lemon Tek method. It's nasty-lookin' shit, with a taste to match, and you might have to do it little by little to keep from gagging, which is why I keep the volume of what I need to drink to a minimum. The lemon juice activates or potentiates the psilocybin, making the trip start faster than other consumption methods. It's thought that the citric acid in lemon juice converts the psilocybin into psilocin, a process which would happen in your body anyway, even without the lemon juice, but since the lemon juice does it while the mushrooms are in the mug, your body doesn't need to bother with it, thus making the effects appear faster. I always do my psychedelic journeys alone at home. If you have a very trusted friend who's willing to sit in a different room and only tend to you if you call out for them, that's OK too. You definitely want some privacy, though. I talk outloud, chant, sing and all sorts of shit that would be disturbing to a sober person in the house, especially if they're unfamiliar with seeing someone on a therapeutic dose of psilocybin. Having a newbie tripsitter is NOT advised. It would be a new experience for you both, and you want at least one of you to have an idea of what's going on. "What to do" during a trip: I like to meditate in the dark after I drink my mushrooms, and I keep doing that even while I can feel the trip starting. Don't worry about not getting deep enough into meditation; if you're like me, you'll be too jazzed up to get as deep as during a regular meditation session. The point is just to calm your mind in preparation for the experience. When it becomes difficult to continue meditating after the trip starts, because of what I'm seeing (eyes always closed), hearing and feeling, I talk to the mushroom, expressing my gratitude, asking for its help, its guidance and frankly, its mercy. Might be kooky to do that, but I'm not at all convinced that mushrooms aren't a doorway into another dimension, accompanied by some kind of alien intellect. It's not necessary to believe what I believe as far as the alien intelligence goes, but you DO have to surrender yourself to it and acknowledge that you're in the direct presence of something that has it in its power to beat you up mentally if you're too cocky about it and try to exert control over it. That's what I like about the higher doses - they automatically put you in the passenger seat. At low doses, your ego is very much intact and it is petrified to relinquish control. Low doses can be a lot more challenging than higher doses for that very reason; your ego can fight and kick around and cause something of a rotten trip. Your ego is ushered into a waiting room in some ways during a 5g+ trip, and you are more apt to just lay there and surrender, which is when the mushroom can stretch out and do the driving. That's not to say that you for sure won't have challenging periods on a therapeutic dose; you sure may, but it's all a part of it. It's Yin and Yang. When I have a rough time, I fall back on Terence McKenna's advice of sitting up in bed and chanting or singing. It oxygenates your brain and can really free up a mental log jam. The last trip I had, I got stuck early on, started chanting and even after I felt better, I kept up with the chanting for 2 full hours because it felt so good and needed for some reason. I didn't know from one moment to the next what sounds were going to come out of my mouth. It was as liberating and cathartic as anything I've done in my almost 50 years on earth. Anyway, your fear is normal and GOOD. It signifies that you're serious about it and that you understand that you'll have to drop the reins and surrender to something very different than you've ever experienced. Again, you will still be you afterward. Even while it's happening, you'll still have the ability to go to the restroom, drink water and such, although you should stay in bed as much as possible. If you're like most people, the trip comes in waves. There will be times when the surf's up and all you can do is stay put and absorb what it's showing you, but there will also be low-tide times when you can go pee, drink some water or whatever for a couple minutes before the tide returns. I usually have 3 solid hours of heavy tripping before it begins to leave, but don't plan on leaving the house or doing anything too normal for 6 hours. If you can summon the courage to do this, it'll likely rank among the most important and profound activities you have ever engaged in. The potential for personal growth in such a short timeframe is completely unparalleled. All it takes is true courage, curiosity and an explorer's sense of adventure.
  20. @MM1988 She predicted I would win a major pending legal case. There was no way she could have known I had a major pending legal case. She told me, "Don't worry. You will win it." And so I did, a year later. Real psychics do WAY more than cold-reading. They actually have paranormal powers. The nature of paranormal powers is that they are intuitive and therefore vague. While there may be some scammers, the whole "scammers" thing is overstated. That's just an excuse the materialist paradigm must make because that model of reality cannot account for any paranormal phenomena. After the levels of consciousness I've experienced, to me, anything paranormal looks quaint and quite normal. I have experienced things that are more radical than getting anally probed by an alien. So if an alien ever tries to anally probe me, at least I can think to myself, "Well, at least this is still not as radical as a 5-MeO-DMT breakthrough."
  21. @General 2 i picked up the guitar at 22 which is quite late i suppose expecting almost nothing from it but a few years later i was playing sweet child of mine with a band, improvement keeps coming and coming now almost 30 i plan to get in 10000 hours more in the next 10 years and by then i want to be a master level guitarist by age 40 lets say. And seeing from my own progress that is not even an unrealistic goal as long as i get the hours in. I think with enough will almost nothing is impossible except maybe in sports if u want to become a world champion in u need to start young, other then that i don't know. But u need to get your habits in order absolutely i do believe that, u need total control and agency and maximize your energy and time available, work less if u can, cut off people that contribute nothing to your well being, get your finances under control and become financially independent. Without all that in place i cannot see myself completing my goals either. Besides that dive into the theory of mastery i think that is extremely important because if u never accomplished something extraordinary when u were younger u might not know the mechanics of mastery the whole concept of it might be alien to you, most adult people i know can't comprehend this, they just have the idea that there are talented people and they themselves are not talented and they are dead wrong, our whole culture is anti mastery, so this book might help ive read it twice now its really good. http://index-of.co.uk/Social-Interactions/Mastery - The Keys To Success And Long-Term Fulfillment - George Leonard.pdf
  22. Since childhood, I have had a burning desire to understand life, the cosmos, and the universe. I also wanted to understand why I suffered, why other people suffered, why life was the way it was and still is. That hunger for learning the truth of life and of the secrets of the universe drove me to study many different subjects of science, many philosophies, many religions, many alternative media subjects of research, including government conspiracies, UFOs, channeling, the paranormal, and more. Until a few years ago, I felt at a loss because, it seemed to me, I was no closer to understanding the grand scheme of things now than when I was as a child. Over the last couple of years, however, I have slowly put together all of the information I have learned during my lifetime in a coherent way. I feel that the eyes of my understanding have been opened. And although the understanding I now hold is very unpopular and not pleasant to most people, I am here on a mission to share this knowledge for the benefit of those who may find anything of value in it. What follows is a message I will deliver to my own family, in the future, when I’m ready for them to hear it. For now, I only want to share this with the rest of the world because I’m not ready to take action on all that I have learned until my mission is completed. My message is quite long. If you want to listen to it, instead of reading it, please access the audio version of my message by clicking on the link below (the file is stored in my Google Drive): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1m8NdCUR5RuVSp3VPWaQe2dsdE4sWRMtA/view?usp=sharing 1. Goodbye. This message is for my wife, for my family, my friends, and for humanity. I want to say goodbye to all and to deliver a very important message I have for you. Honey, I'm sorry, but I have left. I know you are a fighter, and I know you will be OK. You will go on to fulfill all your dreams without me. You have been the best part of my life for over 16 years now, and I thank you for that. You've been the best partner I could have hoped for, but I still had to go fulfill my destiny, a destiny I must face alone. I had to go fight my fight against life. I have grown indignant at the way life treats living beings on earth, so I have left life behind. Do not feel sorry for me. I don't belong in the world, so I'm much better off now. I want to assure you that I did not leave because of being depressed, or desperate, or emotionally disturbed in any way. I have been planning to quit playing the game of Life for a long time. That was, logically, next step for me in my development. Now, I would like to explain in more detail, to all who would like to know, my reasons for quitting the game. Unfortunately, the game of Life is not fair toward most people. Everybody knows that. I go further and say life is right-down evil and psychotic. Human beings are forced to play a game, the rules of which they ignore. This ignorance causes them much suffering. People don't know the true rules of this game because they have been lied to by life itself, by our makers, our parents, religions, the education system, our political leaders, and by each other. This needs to be undone. Furthermore, people are all playing a game that cannot be won, except temporarily, where everyone will be a loser in the end. 2. The rules. The rules of the game are the rules of morality. Living a morally good life means living righteously. Living righteously is conforming to justice. Justice is fairness and equality for all. “All” refers to all living beings, not just human beings; it refers to all sentient beings, beings which possess awareness, feelings, and free will, and it refers to ALL living beings, even if they seem not to be sentient. Equality means equal value or importance (for the purpose of moral considerations) and equal rights to self determination and to a happy life, as every other living being has. Living a truly righteous life is impossible for us because it's impossible for us to live without eating other living beings, or without harming other living beings in various ways. Therefore, our physical life is of an unrighteous, unjust, hurtful, and evil nature. The reason we have the concept of morality is because we are sentient; we have feelings; we have a free will. Without these elements morality is meaningless. All beings which possess these characteristics are morally equal. Additionally, all living beings are all made of the same fundamental substance. Quantum physicists believe everything, at the quantum level, is made of the same type of very small particles or waves of matter, or strings, which are all made of the same fundamental substance. Some people believe this fundamental substance is energy. Some people believe that consciousness is the fundamental substance that makes up everything. I believe that conscious or intelligent energy, energy that is alive, is the basic substance out of which everything is made. Additionally, the obvious common element in all living beings is life. What really matters is that we are all individual living beings, who are made up of the same fundamental life, as every other living being is; therefore, all of us, living beings, have the same rights and moral weight or value. Should we follow the rules of righteousness and justice, we will be refraining from hurting ourselves and others. Should we ignore them, we will be harming others and ourselves by the law of causality, also known as karma. Every cause has an effect, and every action evokes a chain reaction, including an equivalent action that goes back to the doer of such action. The totality of what a person is, feels, and does, is the result of previously planted seeds. Then that person continues the chain by planting his or her own seeds. What people sow, they reap. If we sow harm to others, we will reap harm for ourselves. Any harm that comes back to us comes mechanically, not by somebody getting revenge necessarily. The law of Causality tells us that any and all actions become causes which have effects. Those effects also have effects, in a chain reaction. The whole universe is like a very complex circuit of dominoes. Eventually, the effects of what we do to others return to their point of origin and affect ourselves. This is not mysticism; it is physics laws! What I'm saying seems to be mysticism because the effects or reactions that I'm talking about are not immediate. They may take months, or years or decades or a lifetime to manifest. An example of an effect that is not seen right away is delayed onset muscle soreness. This is the pain and stiffness felt in muscles several hours to days after unaccustomed or strenuous exercise. The soreness is felt most strongly 24 to 72 hours after the exercise. If the delay for the muscle soreness to start were to become longer; let's say 6 months, we would not know why the soreness is there. The same would happen if our memories where extremely short. Let's say we forget the exercise we did by the end of the hour, and the next morning we wake up sore. It would seem mysticism to suggest exercise caused it. But it is not mysticism. Laws of physics caused it! There are a lot of examples of delayed onset effects: eating junk, smoking, and practicing bad habits of most types. The negative effects on our lives may not be obvious for a long time, but they are all caused by the law of cause and effect. Here are the three universal rules of righteousness and justice. 1. Each living being belongs only to itself; and each has full rights over its own life. 2. All life has equal rights. Each living being is equal in value or importance to every other living being. No living being or group of beings has any rights, including the rights to exploit, or abuse, or force their own will, upon any other living being or group of beings, unless all beings involved are willing participants. And, 3. Evil is prohibited. Evil is violating the above rules. Evil also is anything or anybody that causes any type of harm, pain, suffering, damage, impairment, injury, loss, detriment, distress, affliction, or any other disagreeable experience, or does any injustice, to a living being against its will. Evil is the ONLY deviation from moral rectitude there is. It is wrong. It is forbidden for anybody to do it to others. Evil is unacceptable as well. This means that it is forbidden for anybody to tolerate any evil or injustice being done to them by anybody or anything. 3. The equality of all life. The basic mandate of this moral code is similar to the Golden Rule: all living beings should do to other living beings as they would have others do to them. Living beings are morally equal. That is they have equal value for the purpose of determining right and wrong conduct; therefore all living beings must, starting with themselves, respect the free will, the life, and the well-being of all living beings. Whatever we do to others we do to ourselves, given that we are all made of the same thing. I want to clarify that I am not denying individuality. The fact is, we are many separate, individual, life forms. We are not all one thing. For this reason, the validation of, and respect for, every individual living being, of any species, is of outmost importance to living a moral life and the only hope for peace in life. Unfortunately, living beings cannot survive without killing or enslaving other living beings. I view this fact as life hurting itself, in other words, psychosis. I say hurting, and not helping, each other because we do not consent, and it is actually harmful for us, for example, if bacteria were to invade our bodies and consume them as a means of their survival. People seem to think all of this is OK, but I just can't agree with that. I believe everything I say here is absolutely true, even though I may not provide proof. It is your responsibility to research any topic you would like to make up your mind about or to dismiss what you want to dismiss without researching anything. What I'm looking for is for people to judge for themselves what I say. If anything I say makes sense to people, then I'm hoping for them to put those ideas which make sense to good use, as they see fit, or at least to keep them in the back of their minds for later possible use. 4. Why did I leave? Back to my reasons for quitting the game: Since my childhood, I set out to identify the cause of my suffering and that of those around me, so all unwanted suffering can be eliminated from our lives (I don't believe there is a good reason for suffering to be present, other than maybe because a being wants to suffer). I have identified the cause of the suffering of living beings, which is living beings themselves, for the most part. We cause ourselves and each other harm; and we cause harm to other living beings. In turn other living beings cause us harm. It is an undeclared war. Our bodies, our homes, our streets, and our world are the battle fields. They are places of constant or frequent struggle, where permanent peace is not possible. From birth to old age, most human beings go through a lot of trauma, some tragedy, a lot of sicknesses, loneliness, etc. There are many pleasant experiences also, of course; and this keeps most people going; but for what I've seen the unpleasant outweighs the pleasant for too many people, animals, and entire ecosystems. 5. What we sow in ignorance, we reap in ignorance. We have been taught we are superior to other life forms and even to other people, and that we have the right to use them, as our property, to suit whatever supposedly good purpose we are trying to accomplish. As a result we transgress the universal laws of righteousness and justice, but we don't feel that we are doing anything wrong, and we do not know why we suffer. What I'm saying is that the system of values and beliefs we hold individually and as a society are doing us a disservice because they are producing a quality of life for us which most people are not satisfied with. Most people want happiness, fun, respect from others, comfort, fairness, justice, freedom, peace, good health, and many other conditions that contribute to their overall well-being; but most people are not getting them. We put in our lives the wrong values, beliefs, and actions; which are a consequence of values and beliefs; and therefore, we obtain the wrong results. Should all life forms decide to respect all other life forms, nobody would be disrespecting anybody. There would be peace. If all people decided that they will abstain from warring with each other and they follow through on that decision, then we can be assured that wars will cease to occur. You can ask who would prevent people from committing injustice against others. Actually, the living beings who are being wronged, but choose to adhere to justice, are the ones that must make that wrong stop. The code mandates that nobody inflict or put up with evil, so if somebody is observing the code, they must find a way to make that evil or injustice that is being committed against them stop, without, of course, violating rules #2 or #3 which forbid inflicting pain, suffering, etc on any other living being. Similarly, if the forces of nature were to inflict pain on us, such as if we were struck by lightning, then nature is doing evil against us. I would suggest we honor rule number 3, which states: “It is forbidden for anybody to tolerate evil or injustice being done to them by anybody or anything." If the Earth is going to treat me like that, then I don’t need Earth. I'm going somewhere else because I do not put up with that sort of abuse against my person. I value myself. I value the quality of my life experience. If we did that, that lightning strike would probably be our last time of experiencing something unpleasant. 6. Following the rules is optional. Now, the adoption and observance of these universal righteousness rules is strictly voluntary and can be taken up or discontinued at any time. However, every living being who fails to adhere to it is hereby advised that your life experience will be what you are experiencing right now in your world. Most, or all, of the following will apply to you, depending on how lucky you are. You do not belong to yourself and do not have full rights over your own life. Another being or a group of beings will take ownership of your life and will enslave you in any way they can. Examples of this are your government, your society, and maybe even your employer. Other beings will declare their superiority over you. Examples may be people that have more money or more talent than you have, your guardian angels, and your God. You and your well-being will be less valuable or important than that of those other beings. Those other beings will have the rights they want to have over your life, including the rights to exploit you, and abuse you, and force their will in your life, even if you are not willing to be subjected to such treatment. Evil will be perpetrated against you by those who choose to do so. Evil is permissible to you also and is morally acceptable. However, complicated laws and moral guidelines will be imposed on you, to keep your society WORKING in an orderly fashion. Evil is something you must accept as a fact of life, no matter how oppressive it is to you. You must toughen up, must learn to tolerate evil, must learn to ignore evil, and must look only at the pleasant elements in your life, to delude yourself into feeling that everything is OK. 7. Statistically, evil is coming your way. I don't wish this on anybody, but the rules that would need to be followed to ensure universal peace and a blissful life, where every living being respects the lives and well-being of all other living beings, are impossible to be followed in our reality. We are forced to live in an environment, in our bodies and in the world, where we cannot be righteous and fair to all living beings and where nobody else can be righteous and fair to all living beings either. As long as we remain living in this unjust environment, we will have to deal with evil and injustice being done against us. Everybody is doing evil, everywhere, so it is just a matter of time before somebody does it to us. If it is a life form’s destiny to be food for others, then "destiny" and the whole system of the life we live, where organisms exist to be food for other organisms, are morally wrong, evil, unjust, and not righteous because they cause suffering to sentient beings and cannot support the three universal righteousness rules. The fact that reality is supposed to be unjust makes reality an evil one. Of course, to each its own. It's not my cup of tea, but if people want evil and suffering in their lives, they definitely have a right to them. You, as an individual living being, with your own life and free will, have the exclusive right to exercise your free will on what is yours, like your life, your body, your property, etc, as long as you respect the rights of all other living beings. If you want to give up that exclusive right and believe, instead, that others are entitled to run your life and dispose of you the way they see fit, you have the right to do that as well. 8. Positive thinking is not the answer. People are living their lives based on assumptions which are producing a world full of violence, hunger, crime, disease, injustice, hurt, and other undesirable conditions. These are assumptions such as ‘focus on the positive’, ‘everything is going to be OK’, ‘it could be worse’, ‘the government, the education system, the health care industry, and the church have our best interest at heart’, etc. If we continue to play dumb, as if we didn't know something is seriously wrong; or continue to hold the same assumptions we have always held, then we will continue to get the results I've mentioned, both globally and in our personal lives. Once we rid ourselves of all undesirable conditions, then we can go back to saying ‘everything is going to be ok’. I know for sure that I am not the only person unhappy with the way life is. Human suffering is global, and is the norm, not the exception. Everybody seems to just be used to it; and they have surrendered to the claim that this is the way things are; and there is nothing that can be done; and there is nothing wrong with that picture. So, my message is that there is something very wrong with the game of life; and many of us play the game without even realizing that we don't enjoy it all that much. We are told to practice positive thinking and to ignore the unpleasant aspects of our lives. These instructions are repeated incessantly in our society because the farmers of humanity, the tyrants who own us, have a vested interest in having us be docile and go along with their lead, without regard for our well-being as individuals. To them we are like cattle. Our value to them is one of utility. We are worth as much as the use they can obtain from us. They do not care about us, personally. Many things in the world are wrong and should be changed, but they want us to go along only with the changes they want to make, which serve to further their own agenda. They do not care about whether the quality of or lives is enjoyable to us or not. All living beings experience much suffering, either physically, or emotionally, or both. There are no exceptions. Life should not be this way. I don't believe that people should suffer. We make suffering and having a miserable life acceptable because we say so; because we tell ourselves that we ought to accept those experiences. But that is not an absolute truth. I don't believe there is a good reason for suffering to be present in somebody’s life, other than because he or she wants to suffer. If somebody really wants to suffer, that's fine; people should have the experiences they want without imposing their choices on others. 9. Please stop reproducing. Bringing people to the world is imposing your choices on others. Our way of life has produced throughout history, continue producing now, and will continue to produce in the future a world of conflict, violence, disease, lack, and suffering of all kinds, unless we make some radical changes. The first change we should make is to stop having children. We are slaves, although most people don't know it. Let us stop supplying the slave masters with more slaves. All people born into the world suffer and are exploited in the world. Does society, or individuals, really have the right to bring, for the benefit of themselves or of society, new members of society, even if this act will cause the new members of society much suffering? I don't believe so. We should not do this to our children. We should not give them life and force them, in all likelihood, to experience against their will: physical pain, injury, disease; emotional pain, despair, frustration, disappointment, heart break; bullying, abuse, ridicule, lack, and other negative or painful trials through no fault of their own, given that life is not fair. In summary, neither individuals, nor society, have the right to bring new souls to this world, because in all likelihood, those new souls will have to suffer much as a result. 10. Normal is not the same as righteous. We are literally a society of slaves. We know slavery is immoral, wrong, and evil. Nobody should put up with it, and nobody should impose it on others. If anybody thinks slavery is good, then let him or her be the slave. The difference between our global slavery and the slavery of Europe and the Americas in the 1700's, and 1800's is that to produce the slavery of human kind, the oppressors first killed the free males. The free females were raped and forced to have baby slaves. Then the females were killed too. The baby slaves were raised, treated, abused, and exploited, as slaves. Several rounds of breeding were conducted so there are older slaves who supervise or manage the younger ones, and there are slaves that govern different aspects of the society, all of this for the benefit, profit, and comfort of the slave masters. Slavery is the only form of life those slaves have ever known. For those slaves, which are us, this life is normal; but although this life is normal to us, it is not just, not right, not good; and we should reject it. 11. The Sumerians. This is literally what has happened to the human race, according to the Sumerian story of Creation. Most people have never even heard of the Sumerian culture or of the writings they left. Those texts were written 2,000 years before the first book of the bible was written. I believe what they say a lot more than what the bible says because they make more sense to me. 6,000 years ago they accurately described our whole solar system as seen from a spaceship; including: planets, moons and, the asteroid field. They described chromosomes and the DNA molecule; they described rockets, helicopter-like machines; they had knowledge of aerodynamics, of the different gravitational strengths of the planet's we know, of weapons of mass destruction or nuclear weapons, and of other facts or objects of technology supposedly unknown at that time. Humans could not have obtained that knowledge on their own at that time in history. The writings say that all of that knowledge was brought here by an alien civilization that came to earth. The Sumerian writings provide credible explanations for why our present is how it is, and their accounts are consistent with scientific discoveries made only in the last few centuries. To me the only logical explanation for the Sumerians to have known so much at that time is that they were telling the truth regarding how they obtained their knowledge. They said they were taught by the beings who created us. There is a lot of information regarding the Sumerian Epic of Creation online and in books. Most authors say they are myths, but several authors question that claim because Sumer was the first civilization that developed on earth. No other culture had developed previously to hand down any myths to them. Among the authors that have researched this topic, I like the books and videos of Zecharia Sitchin, Lloyd Pye, William Bramley, David Hatcher Childress, Michael A Cremo, among others. 12. The Anunnaki invasion and the creation of humankind. In summary the Sumerians tell us that human beings were made by beings that came to earth from another planet about 400,000 years ago. They were called the Anunnaki. They were looking to take the gold that was found on earth, to use it on their planet, to save their lives. About 300,000 years ago the working class of that alien civilization rebelled against the mining operations work they had to perform on earth. The leaders promised relief in the form of slaves that would take the place of those workers in the gold mines. About 200,000 years ago, after many trials, they finally succeeded in creating a working slave (the Homo sapiens species). They did this by mixing their DNA with the DNA of a compatible creature from earth (Neanderthal probably). The males were killed, the females were raped by having their ova extracted, artificially inseminated with alien DNA, and then being impregnated with the fertilized ova. After they were done nursing their babies, they were killed too. This explains why the Neanderthal species became extinct after coexisting with our species for some time. The baby slaves were the first human beings produced. They, of course, continued reproducing and making more slaves to work for the slave drivers, all the way to the present time. Eventually those alien people got enough gold and left. They had no right to kill the original creatures of earth or to make human kind; but they did not care because, in their own eyes, they were superior to the creatures of earth. To them, as the true abusive bullies they are, MIGHT… makes RIGHT! They enforce their will upon others because they can, because they are stronger. A few of them, and their offspring, which are hybrids of alien and human beings, stayed to rule over the world. Those were the pharaohs, the kings, and the people of power in history. Nowadays, those hybrids are hidden but use politicians, bankers, corporations, and other methods to rule the world. They figured out that if they can get people to believe themselves to be free, then the people will not revolt, therefore increasing their profits. 13. The slavery of humanity to suffering. Servitude or slavery is a condition in which a person is not free to live the experiences they prefer to live, but they are instead forced or bound to experience what they do not prefer. Even when people can change some of their conditions by working very hard, exercising much discipline, and by sacrificing much of what they love; they are forced to experience those undesired conditions, for long periods of time, until such time as when they are able to effect the changes they prefer, only to realize after they reach their goals that they still cannot be happy. If we were given the choice, we would not get sick, we would not get hurt, we would understand everything, we would not forget anything involuntarily, we would have no physical dysfunctions, we would be able to change all aspects of our physique at will instantly, we would be free to disconnect from gravity and fly at will, etc, etc. If we are not free to be what we want to be, and to live how we want to live; if we are not free to, or do not have the capability to, do everything we want to do, without harming others of course; if we have to do what we prefer not to do, like having to go to work instead of going on vacation with our loved ones or spending time enjoying our favorite activities; or if we have a job we don't care for but we cannot change for pressures of the circumstances; if we cannot have what we would like to have, because of lack of education, financial hardships, or for any other reason; that means our life experience is not what we want it to be; we did not choose it; and we are being forced to have it against our will. I call this slavery. For the most part, human beings have unkind life experiences they would prefer not to have to suffer. Since birth, people suffer. Babies cry, sometimes for days or even weeks at a time. As kids, they have destructive tendencies, so parents must control them, creating a form of suffering in them during childhood. At all ages, people are susceptible to illnesses, both physical and mental. Some people go to sleep hungry and cold, without a roof over their heads, while they see others have extreme abundance; that's suffering. People suffer emotional and physical traumas. People are forced to take jobs they do not like so that they can support their families; that's suffering. Some people must worry that bombs will drop on them, or on their families, at any time without notice; that's suffering. Feel free to add to this list anything you may have seen in the news that happens to people that is unpleasant, violent, or destructive; that's suffering. Other, more subtle, forms of suffering human beings are forced to endure are their own negative emotions, their ignorance, their lack of foresight, etc. 14. How things came to be the way they are. So, why is life the way it is? Based On all of the evidence I have been able to consider, I have come up with the following theory. I arrived at my conclusions by evaluating evidence of many kinds: scientific; historical evidence; current research of many fields of study, including: the paranormal, conspiracy facts research, and other topics exposed in alternative media; my own life experiences; my observation and analysis of society locally and globally, etc; and putting the evidence together in the only way it makes sense. There is a Universal Source which gives rise to everything that exists or happens: what is alive and not alive, real and imaginary, good and evil, matter and spirit, etc. Everything whatsoever is a former part of the Source and is made up of the same basic substances as the Source. 15. Evidence of a universal source. One form of evidence for this theory is the Big Bang Theory. This is, basically, an extrapolation made from the observation that everything on this planet came from a source, and each of those sources also arises from a prior source that produced it. We all have sources: Our parents. Our parents had sources which also had sources. If we trace back the sources, we see that most things and life on earth came from earth. Let's go back 4 billion years: the sun produced the earth, and the earth became the source of all life on the planet. The solar system came from our galaxy. Our galaxy had a source of its own, and so forth, back to the Big Bang; which is actually still happening because the universe is still expanding as a consequence of that initial expanding force acting upon itself to produce the universe we see. If we go back about 13.8 billion years we would see that something produced the Big Bang. This is the Universal Source. Everything comes from this one Source. Some people call it The Big Bang, others call it God, others call it energy and matter, and I call it The Universal Source. The idea of God, a divine, all powerful, perfectly benign entity that created everything and that takes care of all of us, does not make any sense to me, based on all of the evidence I see around me, everywhere. However, the fact that God is just as fictitious a character as Santa Claus does not mean that our universe cannot be alive or conscious. I say it is alive and conscious because of the type of processes, and functions, it carries out autonomously, by itself. When I see the cosmos, for example galaxies or planetary systems and their movements, I can discern order, structure, design, even purpose (the purpose of repeating their cycles maybe), definitely not randomness or chaos. On this planet, we see life forms which display purpose and intelligence as part of the design of their physiology: our organs all are intelligently constructed to serve a purpose. Human beings did not design those organs, so the intelligence and the sense of purpose are not only in us. We have them because the universe, which gave us life, has them. 16. The Source is sick. The material universe is all energy. Energy must be conscious and intelligent because everything is made of it, and we see clear evidence of intelligence at work in the world and within ourselves. Matter is not just matter. Water, for example, is not just water. Water is actually energy which for a time takes the form of water. That energy is the same energy that takes the form of a rock sometimes, and the same energy that takes the form of a human being at other times. This energy behaves without any restrictions, capriciously, purely determined by its intentions when sometimes it takes the form of a living being that displays consciousness, intelligence, and purpose; but at other times it takes the form of inanimate objects, like water; yet at other times it takes the form of just pure energy, like heat or the templates galaxies follow when they form. Energy behaves capriciously and intelligently, because it behaves with absolute regularity in what we call inert matter, but it displays irregularity in what we call conscious or living beings; yet it is all the same energy. This intelligent energy is good and evil at the same time, as in having multiple personalities or a split mind. The Universal Consciousness, Intelligence, or Mind is psychotic. This universal source has produced and will continue to produce, by means of the law of Causality, which is a much more complex version of the domino effect, the disgusting and hurtful effects we see in the world and experience in the flesh today. Because of its psychosis, the Universal Source auto-mutilates to produce everything that exists. It severs parts and particles from itself to use them for satisfying its sick desires. We are those particles. We are former parts of the Source and are contaminated with the same psychosis it has, which results in conflict, disease, and all evil in life. The Source is, actually, everything and everybody; but it is fragmented, split. That's why we are individuals, or separate, living beings. Otherwise we would be only one being or a collective living being. Another form of evidence for my theory comes from the field of Quantum Physics; which has proven that the seemingly solid material world, with all its seemingly different objects, is not really solid at all, and the objects are not really different from each other, because matter is mostly empty space, and the objects all consist of the same things: mostly fields of energy and tiny particles, or waves, or strings; all of which seem to be conscious because they all react to consciousness. The ancient Chinese Sage, Lao Tsu, said something interesting in the Tao Te Ching, chapter 42, talking about how Tao (or Dao) produced the Universe and everything within it. Paraphrasing: The Tao gives rise to the one. The one gives rise to two. Two give rise to three. Three give rise to the 10,000 things, or everything. I see a parallel relating to Quantum Theory: one fundamental substance, or source, gives rise to energy and consciousness. Those two give rise to protons, electrons, and life. Those three make up, everything there is. Everything is just one type of thing: conscious energy. This alive and intelligent energy produces all objects and all phenomena in the universe, the various states objects take, and the changes in those states. For those who do not believe in anything that is non material, I say it really does not matter whether it is matter, or energy, or intelligence, or stupidity, or madness, or evil, or chaos, or something else that is causing the current state of affairs to be what it is. Something has caused our lives and the world to be what they are. Whatever has caused all the suffering that exists in the world is not good. It all comes from the universal source. The Source has been doing what it does, for a long time, and it is not going to stop, unless we stop it. 17. History repeats in cycles. The Universal Consciousness experiences, and produces in the world as well as in individual lives, cycles of great evil, violence, and unhappiness alternating with cycles of lesser evil, violence, and unhappiness. Peace and war, love and hate, happiness and despair alternate, come and go, in cycles of time. During the lesser violent eras, the rotten nature of life is just covered up; it is not gone. At some point in time it will resurface. This has been happening since the beginning of life. This will continue to happen in cycles of ages, eras, or Yugas: War followed by peace, followed by war, and peace, and war. The same happens at the individual level. Being alive is not good, even if it feels good sometimes. People who seem to be fortunate get to love the goodness of Life temporarily, but due to the cycles of life, at some time or another, the wheel of fortune will make them suffer as much as the unfortunate people suffer, or more. The world turns, and the life scenarios of all people eventually turn into scenarios that are undesirable, if not in this lifetime, then in future lifetimes. Enki, the chief scientist of the alien invaders, stated: “for what shall come to pass by what had passed shall be determined; and what was destined shall in a cycle be repeated” (from the Lost Book of Enki, by Zecharia Sitchin). The world, the cosmos, and history turn. There are cycles in nature, on the wheel of life, which repeat through history. It is because of this cyclical turning of the wheel of life that most people, if not all, will eventually get to the position I'm occupying right now and will be able to see, from this vantage point, the truth of what I am saying. I am hoping that the message I’m trying to convey right now will help others gain some clarity in their time of confusion. 18. The evil of life. I see the world, what is happening now, what has happened all throughout history; and I see the suffering humanity goes through, and all I see breaks my heart. I cannot help but to pass judgment on this reality: It is evil; I don't like it, and I say it is not good because of all the suffering that exists in this reality. Life forces people to eat, abuse, exploit, murder, and do other evils against less powerful living beings so we can continue living, or we can be more comfortable, or we can feel pleasure or avoid unpleasantness. In turn, people too are used by those who are more powerful than them, as slaves, livestock, lab subjects, food, and as anything else the abusers want, without regard for people’s feelings or their well-being, most times, also without their knowledge. Our abusers are themselves abused by yet more powerful life forms, and so on. This is an example of Hermetic wisdom, which states: “as above, so below”. If it happens here, it also happens above us and below us, in accordance to the fractal like nature of Life. The evil we do to other living beings is wrong, but few people realize this because everybody is forced to do it since they are very young, and once we are old enough to make our own judgments, we see this is done by most of everybody else. People generally do not question the immorality of eating other life forms, or using products derived from them, or enslaving them, or killing them when they are inconvenient, a nuisance, or dangerous to us. As a condition of staying alive, happy, and healthy, we are forced to hurt or destroy other life and each other. All of the pain and sorrow we feel throughout our lives is an indication of the wrongness of the very nature of our lives. This evil is used to break the human spirit. First, our consciousness is arbitrarily brought to the world by decree of the big Tyrant, with the help of the lesser tyrants, who are the parents. Next, if babies cry for days or weeks at a time in protest, parents are advised to leave them alone in a room to let them get tired of crying, and to make them surrender to their new reality. Then, the process of breaking the human spirit continues by using techniques that parallel the barbaric spirit-breaking techniques used on elephants that are forced to work in circuses or in the tourism industry in Asia. The process includes keeping people in various types of confinements. Examples are: the physical body, life circumstances, the injustice system jails or prisons, and this planet itself; applying to them mental restraints, such as instilling fear in them or withholding key knowledge; giving them random physical and psychological trauma, such as when being attacked by disease, or receiving or witnessing injuries; feeding them misinformation, for example: the white lies children are told, the half truths taught at schools, the skewed science we are given, the news, etc; using psychological warfare tactics on them, such as religion; giving them promises, hopes and dreams that will never come true; humiliating them, for example by making them experience the degradation of having to ingest food and having to carry around feces in their bodies and being subject to other physiological needs, functions, and dysfunctions; administering to them punishments and rewards; and using other methods which aim at making a person give up his or her sovereignty. To subdue us, Life makes us endure against our wills: pain, heartache, fear, and a long list of other negative experiences and emotions. Watching the news every night reveals the wide range of atrocities that happen to people. We are made to be afraid constantly, because our well-being is not secure. 19. Free will vs freedom. Free Will is not the same as freedom. All living beings have free will, but they do not have actual freedom to make what they want of their lives. Individual minds make their own decisions, but what the tyrannical Mind has designed for us rules our lives. This is why human beings do not have what they want in terms of their bodies, their mental abilities, their health, their surroundings, their jobs, and in almost all other aspects of their lives. Once we are in the concentration camp, which is the world, we are subject to natural laws, societal laws, and other types of laws that take away our power to have the life experiences we want, when, and how we want them. We are not free. We are actually slaves. We have been enslaved by Life. We are made to live as slaves because we cannot direct how our lives unfold. Instead, we are subject to the dictates of external tyrannical forces, such as our circumstances or other people who have authority over us. In addition, despite our wishes and efforts, our lives are also controlled by internal tyrannical forces which overpower our conscious will. These are forces such as our psychosis, our mental and physical limitations, our ignorance, our emotional deficiencies, etc. Conditions which come as a result of being engineered by our Source to be unintelligent, weak, and capable of great suffering in order for the tyrants in charge to have ways of keeping us dependent, subservient, and imprisoned. Is this the life we really want to live and give to our children? If it is, then we are holding very low standards for the life we are willing to settle for. This is evil, and if we cooperate just by living our own lives and doing our best, we are evil too because we are collaborating with evil, the same way civilians collaborate with wars just by doing their own work, because the taxes they pay support the armed forces, so the armed forces do not have to do other work and are free to concentrate their efforts on killing or preparing to kill people. However, we can refuse to collaborate. We have free will. Despite being slaves of Life, we have the power to choose to quit life, or to remain participants of it. 20. Living until old age makes no sense. Like others before me, I have realized that Life is meaningless. Even though I assign a purpose to my life, which is to have fun, to enjoy my life, to feel good, etc, in short: to be happy; and most other people also have as their goal to enjoy their lives and to be happy; I and most other people cannot be perfectly happy, for a myriad of reasons. This pattern of wanting happiness but not being able to get it or to keep it for very long must be caused by something. From the point of view of living beings, the natural purpose of our lives is to be happy, to enjoy our lives, to do what we love, to have what we love, to share our lives with loved ones; but from the point of view of our makers, the tyrants who exploit us as if we were livestock, the purpose of our lives is to produce benefits for them. This tells me that the life we were given is of a tyrannical nature. For this reason, it is not possible to enjoy life thoroughly and permanently. In addition, our consciousness is of a psychotic nature; therefore, even if we get to be, do, and have everything we want in this tyrannical existence, our happiness turns into boredom, and then into dissatisfaction, and then into anger or some other similar emotion. Permanent happiness and well-being are not possible in life. King Solomon, in his biblical book Ecclesiastes, disheartened and grieving, recognized that life is meaningless, hurtful, vain, devoid of purpose, and evil. No matter what we do, the natural purpose for our living cannot be fulfilled. At some point in our lives we all realize that life is meaningless; thus, we should have no reason to want to live, at least not always, and not indefinitely. People should lose their will to live at an early age, and a lot of children do. But they are brainwashed by their parents and other adults. As a result, although unnatural, most adults always want to live, and they want to live indefinitely. This is probably because of a combination of their fear of death (which is based on believing lies taught by religions), and their hunger for more happiness. They are willing to go through the most horrific experiences in order to avoid death and go back to whatever it is that they do. They also see no moral dilemma with inflicting pain, suffering, and destruction on other life, if it means they get to save their own skin or improve their conditions. Again, this sick mentality is the result of mental programming by society. Living this life is clearly evil. Living beings are clearly evil, and at least partially psychotic (for loving a life that hurts them); but, we cannot realize any of this, because our minds are as evil as Life is. It is no wonder there is so much suffering in the world. 21. The lies people believe. Predictions of upcoming freedom or well-being, or promises of changes for the better in the world or in a future life are empty promises to entice people to stay in the prison of Life, to keep bringing more babies (slaves) to the world, to keep working, and to keep the system going. The freedom and happiness promised are false hopes, intended to perpetuate the exploitation of human beings. These lies are like fake carrots on sticks in front of donkeys (which represent us). The donkeys will not reach those promises. If and when the tyrant in charge decides it is in its best interest to let the donkeys have something they want, an unsatisfying portion of what was promised may be given; but the carrots the donkeys are really after, everlasting happiness and well-being, will never be reached by them because those carrots do not exist, they cannot be created, and even if they were to be created, it is against the nature of the tyrants to give them, and against the nature of the donkeys to produce them. Tyrannical governments, politicians, greedy bankers, unethical CEOs, secret organizations, the economy, bad luck, hunger, ignorance, mean people, minor criminals, major criminals, enemies, terrorists, wars, natural disasters, diseases, parasites, epidemics, catastrophes, or the like, are not the problem. Those are just inevitable conditions produced by a single root cause, which is Life as designed by the psychotic Universal Source. Everything else serves as a distraction, so people do not look at the real cause of their dissatisfaction, and so they do not realize they are slaves to their lives, and that they should break free. 22. Suicide, the first step in the right direction. How do we free ourselves from evil? Freedom from the evil that pervades all Life is achieved by total annihilation of the self. This freedom cannot be imposed or bestowed onto others. It must be taken by each individual for himself or herself, by breaking ourselves free from the prison which is our physical body. Suicide is not a sign of being a coward. It takes bravery to overcome the fear of pain, the fear of the unknown that is waiting for us, the fear of what might go wrong, the discouragement of society, etc. So do not believe the fallacy that says that all suicide is cowardliness. Every living being belongs to itself only and is entitled to do with its own life whatever he or she sees fit, as long as he or she does not directly harm or infringe upon the rights of other living beings. Suicide is an action that may not be popular, or politically correct, or pleasant, or safe; but it may be one that is RIGHT or JUST. This is not the same for everybody. Each life circumstance, each heart, each person is different. What I propose is that each person finds those actions that are right for him or her. 23. Suicide can be good for society. As a society, we should not prohibit or discourage suicide from those who feel they no longer want to live. An illustration of why I think this to be the case is the Las Vegas shooter of 2017 and other mass murderers who have killed and injured so many people. They obviously do not have a reason to live because most of them kill themselves after killing their victims. A lot of times we don't really know what they want to accomplish: maybe it is to punish wrong doers. Maybe they want to hurt people that are happy, because they are envious, because they are not able to be happy or have fun. Maybe they are actually trying to help their victims in some twisted way we do not understand. Whatever the motives may be, should those people hold moral principles similar to the ones I propose, the tragedies they've caused in the past would not happen as often. They would know: 1. other lives belong only to themselves. It is wrong to hurt or take anything from another living being against its will. And 2. Their own lives belong to them only. Nobody has the right to hurt or enslave them by making them stick around when they no longer want to be around. It is OK if they end their lives. There is no hell waiting for them. Their society does not condemn them for making their own decisions about what they do with their own lives. As a consequence of the above, they are at peace with society, and they end the torment of their lives without hurting other people. 24. Suicide is our right. I am not encouraging mass suicide! I'm only trying to help those who have no reason to stick around, to leave their misery or the meaninglessness of their lives behind. There is really nothing wrong if they do it. I've seen much unnecessary suffering in my lifetime. I am trying to put an end to that. If everybody wants to commit mass suicide, honestly, I think they would be better off, but there are other things to try. I don't believe any other solution will be effective though. I find it odd that almost everybody, even people who scrutinize ideas with strict rationality and logic, such as philosophers, do not dare to contradict, or even question, the mandate against individuals taking full control over their own lives ad deaths. Why is this? Are we, as individuals, property of society, or property of some divine entity, or property of somebody else? If so, we are slaves, and being a slave is not for me. I don't recommend it to anybody. If we are truly free individuals, are we not entitled to do with our lives anything we see fit (as long as we do not directly harm others)? Besides that, what does it matter if we take ourselves out before nature or somebody else does? We will all die eventually. I want to have control over my death, not leave it to a random force, or event, or somebody else to inflict it on me, at their pleasure. 25. Let us resist the indoctrination. The truth is that we have all been indoctrinated, brainwashed, to have a prejudice against suicide because it is against the interests of the farmers of humanity that people feel completely free to do with their lives and their deaths whatever they see fit. It's time for us to reject this prejudice. As a society, it is important to recognize suicide is an individual’s prerogative, not a matter for group debate. Each person has the right to choose for themselves whether they do or don't opt for suicide, and society must be at peace with it. We must recognize individuals’ right to be sovereign over their own lives and deaths. Society, in an act of wrongness against us, has hammered into our consciousness how wrong and cowardly it is for people to commit suicide. I want to reverse that. I want to make everybody aware of the benefits of owning our own lives and deciding for ourselves, individually, if suicide is something that may benefit us. There really is nothing wrong with it, if it is done responsibly, and if we recognize that the interests of the individuals are above the interests of the State or of society. The interests of the state and society are really the interests of the rulers of humanity, of the tyrants who are farming us – the interests of those who exploit the human race, to its detriment, for their own gain. 26. It is a personal decision. I did not want to collaborate with the evil tyrants anymore. I really disliked the bloodshed and the human misery. It broke my heart watching people hurting each other, hurting animals, and so on; so I opted for suicide to get out of this game. You, of course, can stay and play some more if you want, but know that you are justified if you want to quit at some point, and that it is your right because only you own yourself. Don’t enslave others, and you will have the right of defending yourself against other's attempts at enslaving you. Whatever we want to choose for ourselves is right for us. Whatever others want to choose for themselves is right for them. Trying other solutions, or choosing to do nothing at all, are valid options as well; no shame on any of it. 27. Attaining true freedom. Continuing with the procedures for obtaining absolute freedom from evil, first we kill our own bodies; then, we must extinguish our spirits or souls also. Probably, this is done by seeking complete darkness and rejecting any advice to follow any light or angel or family member, and declining to go through any door or tunnel; and laying our souls to rest in complete darkness, and by not feeding them any energy, or exerting any force or effort until our consciousnesses turn off completely. My plan is to try taking my soul straight to the asteroid field and turning myself into stone there. Other steps may be necessary to freely navigate the spiritual realm. Once out of the body, we may have to find out what to do to achieve the extinction of our spirits. As spirits, we could choose to reincarnate on earth or on other planets, or maybe even ascend to other dimensions. All of those choices would be mistakes, if we want to rid ourselves of all evil. However, we could also choose to extinguish our consciousness. This is the right choice, the one that leads to freedom, and it is up to each individual to learn what it takes, and do what it takes, to accomplish it. There is a lot of evidence that indicates the awareness of a person survives the death of that person's body. I have researched this subject. The evidence convinced me that for at least several minutes, to several hours, after we die, we remain self aware, we perceive our surroundings and beyond, and we see and hear what happens and what other people do. There are documented cases of people that, after dying, were subsequently resuscitated, and gave account of what they did, saw, and heard while their bodies were dead, having no pulse and no brain activity. This is indirect evidence, but it is valid. It is the testimony of people who affirm they have had this experience. I have seen many reports of such cases of near death experiences. I do not believe those people are all lying. The doctors also testify those people were really dead. I see no reason why we should not believe them. 28. Consciousness can be turned off. To me this means that we are all very likely to have to make decisions after our bodies die. I think we will do better for ourselves if we are prepared to make those decisions when the time comes to make them. For the moment, I am not certain of how to do it, but due to the self similarity of the various parts, levels, or compartments of Life, I'm completely sure there is a way of permanently turning off or killing our consciousness; and I'm sure that I will find it, once I'm out of the prison which is my body. Most likely, by the time you hear or read this, I no longer exist as a living being. True freedom is freedom from Life and from being. Without life we cannot contribute to the evil doing that goes on universally. Without consciousness we cannot experience the pain and suffering the Source imposes on living beings. This is why the complete destruction of the self is so effective in liberating a person of all evil. I do not like the solution I am proposing one bit, but in my opinion it is the only definitive solution to the problem of human suffering. There are deceitful teachings, used to control individuals and societies, which state that spirits cannot die. We are made up of the same basic substances as the Source because we were once constituents of the Source. We were the source, but we were severed from it. Therefore, our spirits have the same qualities, attributes, and powers as the spiritual portion of the Source, in reduced scale. The bible uses the symbol of a fire or flames to represent the spirit of God. This is because in many ways a spirit or soul is like a fire. Fires can be extinguished. Souls can be extinguished also. Once a fire is extinguished it ceases to burn and to exist. Once a soul is extinguished, it ceases to be conscious and to exist. Even when elements that make up fires are still present, (such as oxygen or fuel), that instance of a fire, that particular fire, no longer exists if the fire is out. It works the same way with the death of consciousness. The functioning of a soul or spirit and its identity can be destroyed. The fact that our essence, our souls, are made of energy does not mean those souls cannot rid themselves of life. If by the time you are listening to this message I have attained my goal, my consciousness no longer functions. I neither think, nor remember, nor feel, nor want. I am not aware of anything whatsoever, and I am no longer a living entity. 29. Pure consciousness is bound only by its own will and its own emotions. Maintaining that we cannot cease to exist as living entities or that our consciousness cannot die, denies that the universe or Universal Consciousness possesses free will. It implies that the universe is bound to do, MUST do, what it has been doing; and it has no choice but to do what it has been doing. The universe is eternal, but it does not follow that it must eternally do the same things it has been doing. In other words, the universe does not have to repeatedly take the form of living beings, should it decide that taking the form of living beings is not what it wants to do any longer. The universe could take the form of only rocks and other inanimate objects, if it wants. The universe is not bound. Pure consciousness is not bound. There is nothing outside of it that could bind it or force it to do anything. It does what it wants to do. There are no rules it must follow. Who could impose rules or laws to the universe? Who could enforce them on it? It imposes the rules on itself, and it enforces them, as it pleases. We are individual units, bits, fragments, crumbs, or shavings of that Universal Consciousness. In a way, we are the universe. The belief that we must reincarnate is the universe auto-imposing a rule that says it must reincarnate, so it reincarnates. But the rule can be changed at will. The universe can say: I have an option to reincarnate or not. I have the option of creating inanimate objects only. The universe can decide to live no more. The whole universe can choose to die. This is scientifically called "heat death of the universe", a universal state in which life cannot be supported and only inanimate objects remain. Therefore, we, as individual consciousnesses, can choose to die as well when we are out of our bodies. We can turn ourselves off and become something other than conscious beings. I found the following regarding a scientifically possible death of the universe online on Physlink dot com: “The 'heat-death' of the universe is when the universe has reached a state of maximum entropy. This happens when all available energy (such as from a hot source) has moved to places of less energy (such as a colder source). Once this has happened, no more work can be extracted from the universe. Since heat ceases to flow, no more work can be acquired from heat transfer. This same kind of equilibrium state will also happen with all other forms of energy (mechanical, electrical, etc.). Since no more work can be extracted from the universe at that point, it is effectively dead, especially for the purposes of humankind.” As pure consciousness, without a physical body, we are bound only by our own will and our own emotions. We can choose to die in spirit, but it is important to fully own ourselves and to fully be in control of our emotions, as opposed to letting our emotions control us. If we feel out of control here, we will feel out of control on the other side as well. So take the time to face your fears, to conquer your demons, and to take full responsibility for who you are, and for what you do. 30. Follow your heart. What is happening to human kind and to all life on earth is not fair, not just, and not right. It is a sick game The Source and Life play. We are the game pieces. We are, somehow, the rule makers too, since we are whatever the universe if made of. At some point we will all decide we've had enough of this game. Life forces us to do evil to other living beings; therefore, it is of an evil nature. We should not participate, or should stop participating as soon as we are able to stop. However, some people would like to stay in the game longer than others; some want to play multiple times. That's OK. It is their right to choose for themselves. Maybe they are winning. Some people, maybe the ones that have seen all of the cheating and the injuries, have had enough of the game and will quit playing soon. It's OK to stay or to leave, but I've wanted to help the players become aware of the rules, so the game is a little more enjoyable for everybody, because, unfairly, we have been made blind to the truth, to keep us exploitable. This was done by means of indoctrination and brainwashing, starting from our early childhood and lasting our whole lives. We’ve been repeatedly told what things mean, who we are, what things should be like, and how to think. Nobody is allowed to disagree with the indoctrination. For this, most people cannot fully see the truths I'm describing, and as a consequence, they play the game in a way that hurts them, in favor of providing benefits and profits to the universal parasites. We are here now, and our lives are what they are. This is the state of the game. What's your next move? Will you quit playing? Will you find out more about the true nature of the game? Will you change your strategy? Whatever you decide for yourself is right for you. Do not let anybody convince you of the opposite, but do respect other people's right to freely choose for themselves what is right for them. I have one final request, and it is for you to share this message with other people, if you think it might be of benefit to them. Thank you. May you find a way to experience everything you desire, and nothing you don’t.
  23. You're very welcome. I love talking about this. Yeah, if 2g didn't do much, I'd just say the heck with it and go with the famed "Heroic Dose" which is 5g, but if 4g sounds less frightening, then do that. Whatever method you use, do it after fasting for 6 hours. Food in your stomach will delay the effects and increase your chance of feeling nauseated or throwing up. Some folks love doing mushroom tea, but it never works as well for me as actually consuming the mushrooms. I got fed up with the tea method after raising the dose again and again and still not getting the effect of eating them, so I'm done with that intake method, but there's not much to it: heat up 1 or 2 cups of water (however much you'd like to drink), put the hot water in a coffee mug, finely grind up your bone-dry mushrooms until it's fine like baby powder in a coffee grinder, empty out a couple regular tea bags and then add the mushroom powder to the empty bags and let them steep in your mug of hot water for 20 minutes, squeezing the bags from time to time to ensure that the actives in the mushrooms are getting into the water.....and drink it. That's straight mushroom tea. The method I've found to work better than any other is to grind up the mushrooms as described before, put them in an empty coffee mug, add 2 ounces of real lemon juice, stir it up a few times while 20 minutes passes.....and drink it all down at the 20-minute mark. This is called the Lemon Tek method. It's nasty-lookin' shit, with a taste to match, and you might have to do it little by little to keep from gagging, which is why I keep the volume of what I need to drink to a minimum. The lemon juice activates or potentiates the psilocybin, making the trip start faster than other consumption methods. It's thought that the citric acid in lemon juice converts the psilocybin into psilocin, a process which would happen in your body anyway, even without the lemon juice, but since the lemon juice does it while the mushrooms are in the mug, your body doesn't need to bother with it, thus making the effects appear faster. I always do my psychedelic journeys alone at home. If you have a very trusted friend who's willing to sit in a different room and only tend to you if you call out for them, that's OK too. You definitely want some privacy, though. I talk outloud, chant, sing and all sorts of shit that would be disturbing to a sober person in the house, especially if they're unfamiliar with seeing someone on a therapeutic dose of psilocybin. Having a newbie tripsitter is NOT advised. It would be a new experience for you both, and you want at least one of you to have an idea of what's going on. "What to do" during a trip: I like to meditate in the dark after I drink my mushrooms, and I keep doing that even while I can feel the trip starting. Don't worry about not getting deep enough into meditation; if you're like me, you'll be too jazzed up to get as deep as during a regular meditation session. The point is just to calm your mind in preparation for the experience. When it becomes difficult to continue meditating after the trip starts, because of what I'm seeing (eyes always closed), hearing and feeling, I talk to the mushroom, expressing my gratitude, asking for its help, its guidance and frankly, its mercy. Might be kooky to do that, but I'm not at all convinced that mushrooms aren't a doorway into another dimension, accompanied by some kind of alien intellect. It's not necessary to believe what I believe as far as the alien intelligence goes, but you DO have to surrender yourself to it and acknowledge that you're in the direct presence of something that has it in its power to beat you up mentally if you're too cocky about it and try to exert control over it. That's what I like about the higher doses - they automatically put you in the passenger seat. At low doses, your ego is very much intact and it is petrified to relinquish control. Low doses can be a lot more challenging than higher doses for that very reason; your ego can fight and kick around and cause something of a rotten trip. Your ego is ushered into a waiting room in some ways during a 5g+ trip, and you are more apt to just lay there and surrender, which is when the mushroom can stretch out and do the driving. That's not to say that you for sure won't have challenging periods on a therapeutic dose; you sure may, but it's all a part of it. It's Yin and Yang. When I have a rough time, I fall back on Terence McKenna's advice of sitting up in bed and chanting or singing. It oxygenates your brain and can really free up a mental log jam. The last trip I had, I got stuck early on, started chanting and even after I felt better, I kept up with the chanting for 2 full hours because it felt so good and needed for some reason. I didn't know from one moment to the next what sounds were going to come out of my mouth. It was as liberating and cathartic as anything I've done in my almost 50 years on earth. Anyway, your fear is normal and GOOD. It signifies that you're serious about it and that you understand that you'll have to drop the reins and surrender to something very different than you've ever experienced. Again, you will still be you afterward. Even while it's happening, you'll still have the ability to go to the restroom, drink water and such, although you should stay in bed as much as possible. If you're like most people, the trip comes in waves. There will be times when the surf's up and all you can do is stay put and absorb what it's showing you, but there will also be low-tide times when you can go pee, drink some water or whatever for a couple minutes before the tide returns. I usually have 3 solid hours of heavy tripping before it begins to leave, but don't plan on leaving the house or doing anything too normal for 6 hours. If you can summon the courage to do this, it'll likely rank among the most important, and profound activities you have ever engaged in. The potential for personal growth in such a short timeframe is completely unparalleled. All it takes is true courage, curiosity and an explorer's sense of adventure. I sure wrote a shit of a lot there. I hope you read it all and find it useful.
  24. @Shin I socialize a lot but you're right that it's mostly the same group of people in which I'm not really interested in dating any of the women. It's probably always a good idea to just do some of those basic personal development things aswell. Kind of easy to forget about those when you're busy meditating in hopes of encountering alien mantis people or getting kicked out of the library for pulverizing and snorting all of their books in hope of some new insight on how to best move towards your life purpose. But yeah tell me about it. I feel like the biggest thing I'd enjoy in a relationship would be the proper disillusionment with the idea that it would make me happy. Because I understand it intellectually but I probably have plenty of gunk in my subconscious that I probably only could clear out with first hand experience.
  25. I keep thinking that I want to be relieved of the human condition. The need to eat and work to survive. Nothing satisfies me. All I have are addictions to certain distractions such as binge eating and watching videos, looking at bizarre pictures and at certain times I derive satisfaction in the plight of annoying celebrities. Everything bores me. I find most people I meet loathsome. Sometimes I'm angry that they are sheep. I'm also upset with this disgusting ego of mine because of how I want to be recognized for my ideas and how badly I want to be special and adored. But I also don't want the attention of sheep. I believe in a spiritual realm where fairies and angels live but I am terrified of seeing one. I am afraid of the dark and of evil. I am afraid that I am evil. It terrifies me to think that my soul is corrupted. I know aliens exist and I am aware that all souls are one but I am incredibly lonely. I am also reading over this as I type it and think how incredibly insane it sounds then I feel disgusted in myself. I feel like all I want to do is sound good and make sense. I want to be accepted. I am aware that wanting to be accepted is a condition from my incredibly huge ego. I hate my ego. I believe my ego is the cause of my insecurities. But I can't help but want to be significant. I believe that somehow service to others is the path to happiness but I can't make myself want to even get out of bed. Sometimes I look up at the sky and want to see alien spacecraft just to know there's something other than this reality I'm living in. Even though I know they exist, I just want to see it with my own eyes. Currently my greatest interest is to go through hypnosis just to see what my higher self wants to say. Sometimes I'm afraid my higher self isn't as magnificent as I would like it to be. I am aware that that's not for me to decide. I am curious who I was in my last life. My ego wants me to have been someone spectacular. Sometimes I wish I was Cleopatra. Although she went through much suffering so I don't know how much I would enjoy that idea. But I just want to be recognized for that in this life. How selfish of me. I want to relieve myself of the human condition. There's way too much work and burden to feel somewhat fulfilled. So at times I have thoughts of killing myself. I didn't like my life much and still don't. I will not kill myself but my thoughts keep entertaining the idea. I'm so ungrateful and I'm a bit ashamed of it. Some people find joy in living and would probably like my life if they had it because it is comfortable and I live in a first world country, I'm never hungry and there's always something to do if I choose. But... like Leo said in one of his videos, I yearn for life to be magical.