njuufa

If you do not accept yourself then the decisions you make are not aligned and you will run off course without even being aware of what is going wrong in your life. You could judge a character based on his lies that he is not willing to accept of himself. But you cannot judge someone who is accepting himself. Because there is nothing left to judge. Self-accepting person is not in a fighting state anymore. Only reason you fight for your survival is because you are not accepting that you have a life. There is nothing worth fighting for. Because everything you fight for will come and bite you in the ass and that might cost you your real life. Like getting hit by truck when you were busy texting. That is sad, indeed.

How to breath. Haha it is so stupid from some point of views. But that is the point of discovering the right way to do it so peoples materialistic view would get shattered once again.

You were happy because you knew there is nothing to grasp. And first thing after that experience you wonder : why I could not keep it ? Classic, you want to be happy but you have a little secret that says "i do not want to be happy" is running the show in your head but the whole show does not run this way, maybe. Dont forget that where you are now is what you wished before. You practiced meditation to become aware of your issues to get rid off these. There is no turning back now. You must clean the mess up that you created throughout your life, because that is what really is holding you back from growing, not the degree of your awareness itself per say. To judge awareness now would mean that you do not trust it. But how can you judge it if you have not even used it yet ? And not discovered the full range of its power. Be patient. Trust it. And stop underestimating yourself. Take one unconscious thing from its head that peaks out and start slowly pulling it out. Then you have chance to discover its whole structure. At the same time this involuntary judgement arises which proves how fake and limited it is which you are aware of and now know how to perform in a sense. Much much love

Do not leave things to a last minute.

Hey, check this too Imagine a christmas eve in a christian orthodixical church. There is this awful play going on that they are doing every year. Girls are singing around cradle. Mary is there, few shepherds and yea... whole set. You are the shepherd. Thats your role. As you wait your part to come you start to feel tension. Its not anxiety because of the stage fear but it feels that something is being phony here. They dont seem enjoying it. It seems to you that these people around you are ashamed. And your memory tells you that this is how we are supposed to feel. Suddenly you understand that the reason you feel ashamed is because you are part of this orthotoxical. I am believing this nonsense. Your honesty levels starts arise and you see the truth of this business here. "THIS WHOLE THING IS DISGRACEFUL" comes out of your mouth while Mary passes you microphone. Everyone heard you, they all look at you with shock. You can feel the heat arising on these hopeless faces. "fuck that" you decide And grab that fucking lame fake sheep that you had there and kick the thing over where baby Jesus were laying. You grab the cross from pastors daughter and run out from the church while saying "I am freeee...". You probably thinking that i am a sociopath or something . But if you could imagine yourself like this without feeling bad about what you do, then you are on a decent orange ground. For the haters, its actually from panic. Your actions are aligned to save your ass from this. I just love to give it a little extra when I act, so i make sure everyone really gets it It will probably be most enlightening thing that people have ever seen in orthodox. This story how you escape and burn blue is a what orange loves - its their way of building relationships.

Metaphors We Live By by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson

When you had a dream of falling down. Did you were aware of your body ? No. What you were aware of ? Nothing. Well that is kinda what it is. But you woke up sweating and in terror and had to come up with conclusions in order to fall asleep again. But you had this moment of nothingness right there in a fall.

Maybe just maybe when you close off all the distractions and focus doing only one thing maybe this thing that you are doing is a distraction too ? What helps me to break out of all the distractions is to go look a master doing hes work. If you do not know anyone particular then go take walk in town, i am sure you can find someone or some place. It automatically washes off all the bullshit and distractions that you had before. You gotta be able to step out of it. And older skillful people are perfect for that. Well you can try do it by yourself, but it takes way too much time - almost impossible. But please, do not go creep anyone, be nice

I never understood what was up with this thing until i tried a couple of times. It was a third time I succeeded with it. 2 first tries were just meh blackouts. Third time i did it right when math class started. I was siting on the table. Everyone and a teacher seemed cool at that day. And i decided to try it one more time. After holding my breath suddenly everything was washed away. I look around class and realized something. It was significant and others started asking too what is that i see. Even a teacher who were against of this technique. Suddenly she is curious too. So I came off the table and laid to the ground for minute to think how i am going to say it now to 30 students and teacher all waiting for answers. But i didn't share this with others because i couldn't imagine how i could wash away something that we stand for. I didnt want war to break off in our class. At that time i assumed its better this way, to keep it for myself. Because of the lies i saw on others faces seemed like a nightmare suddenly not a common sense anymore. I end up leaving the class and went for a long walk. I wouldnt say its ego death. When ego starts dying then you call an ambulance. This was just a radical shift that lead to contemplations. Thats good too.

@RendHeaven this introspection what you are doing in dreams is useful but do not forget to pay attention what is actually going on in a dream. This filter is wonderful to look through but it still distorts your reality of whats going on. Be honest of how you feel in dream about certain situations. And can you do something about it? I recommend to write honestly again about this dream. Collect all the details and signs. Dont stop with signs that you dont have words for it. Also forget about storytelling. If its clear it will speak for itself. Now its only a matter of time when it all makes sense. Because this dream will come back again and again until you are honest about it and figure out what this dream wants you to understand.

Its okay to feel anxious if you are about to discover your life purpose and find a girlfriend. These are really challanging for all of us. First tries you are going to fail anyway, but you will learn valuable lessons from these, that will help you land your lifepurpose and girlfriend more accurately in a long run. This should be your focus because no one gets to the core without going through layers. You will get closer and closer as you go. What helps me is to ask : Are we there yet ? And dont let emotions or anything else to distract you from finishing your goals. There is atleast 5 different walls blocking us to finish our goals, but it doesnt matter what these “walls” are. Remember your goal and finish it. There is no way you can make walls dissapear before going through them. These walls are there and goals are very useful to get through them. Someone once said that if you want happiness then tie it around goal. Man fuck walls, finish your goal !!

I have been thinking about deja vu alot and it seems like its a memory without the lesson of that particular memory that it carries. Just empty memory. But deja vu triggers, It want you to re-learn your lesson that you used to carry. "Wisdom of observation" is what we storage and deja vu is a "left out" ; dry observation with out this lesson that used to be important for us... thats how I think about deja vu.

To love others you must start by loving yourself first. You are not supposed to make other people feel good. It just feels good to make other people laugh. But you dont have to impress others all the time. If you try too much to make them good then this becomes toxic. This actually pushes people away and ultimately brakes relationships. Notice the real effect and reaction of others that your behaviors cause. If you start loving yourself you will see how much pain your behaviors like "feeding their ego" ; "laugh when its not even funny" etc. causes you. Be truthful with yourself and others as best as you can. We respect that When you judge you are setting standards for yourself, but in reality you dont really know whats actually good for you. To find out whats good for you must start loving yourself and be more aware. It takes a lot of time and practice, change of people you hang around with and your emotions will get out of control. Be ready of this rollercoaster. Take few deep breaths before you answer - make it as rule. This will help you to see your shortcomings that you normally make.

@cle103 Your teacher clearly talks from experiences of what she has saw. Patterns where people dont follow their deeply meaningful path end up hurting themselves. This must happen alot with psychadelics and kriya, because its so easy to get your hands on these things and turn it into a mess. But thats not enough for saying these things dont matter or are "dangerous". I have not done pshychadelics yet, but I think its because of lack of awareness that people suggest you to follow other paths. They obviously are afraid to guide you, because they have diferent experiences. I believe anyone who claims himself Noble One can give you advise no matter what path you are in. If you want easy way you have to follow the methods he used, but its not fully yours then and results might not satisfy you. If she doesnt trust herself to guide you then you must let her go and keep trying to finish it some other way. Whatever your path is, anything can happen, as it must. If your path is 100% authentic and you are aware of progress then congrats! You are on a right track. "when the wrong man uses the right means, the right means work in the wrong way" - from chinese classics.