Leo Gura

Trip Reports Mega-thread

156 posts in this topic

On 2/13/2021 at 7:38 PM, Cubbage said:

 

Awesome one!


They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions 

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So I've decided to share my breakthrough N-N DMT experience I had a few years back. At this time I didn't know anything about spirituality etc. I just took psychedelics out of curiosity and fun.

The experience happened at a beautiful place in my village right beside a river. It was only me and my best friend Matthew, we both smoked DMT about 15 times before but never enough to breakthrough. We both were determined to do it this time.

There was so much rest DMT in the oil pipe that you could have had a breakthrough experience without adding anything.

Anyway I added about 40mg to be sure and started to heat up the pipe. I remember looking at the pipe while moving it to my mouth, it reminded me at a cauldron and in it the DMT was literally boiling. xD

I thought "oh boy" and took a hit as deep and long as I could.

Immediately I knew that this time it was enough and instantly I blasted off. My friend told me I fell back on the ground as if I had died.
The first thought I had was "Am I dead?" I moved my hand to my heart and felt that it was still beating (my friend told me later this happened for real). Because I felt my heartbeat I knew all is good and calmed down.

So I began to explore this new reality. It felt so real that in comparison the reality I am in right now could be considered "unreal".
The main colour of this place was gold and between the gold was black but not normal black more like infinite blackness. Everything was moving so fucking fast, I remember thinking "this is way to fast, I can't grasp whats going on". The golden colours were always moving and formed symbols that were similar to these:

depositphotos_26858897-stock-illustratio

Somehow I had the feeling that I was inside a Pyramid or somewhere deep down.

Then in the corner of my eye I saw something and felt a presence. I thought "how did matthew get here wtf?".
So I turned to the right to see whats going on and there was this being. It was black and looked like a sphinx and when I looked right into her/his face it was both feminine and masculine, the face was changing all the time. The being didn't have extremities it was just the head and the body but the body didn't have an end, like it was getting smaller so it looked like a tail but never ended.

I looked back in the middle and suddenly these beings were everywhere. There were dozens of them, some were black and others golden.

They had this incredible loving vibe to them, I can't compare it to anything. And they were telepathically communicating with me, all of them.
This is what they said: Welcome... Finally you made it. We have been waiting for you, where have you been so long? WE LOVE YOU.
WE LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU. Welcome we are so happy you are finally back, we love you.

Never in my life I have felt so welcome and loved. It was almost overwhelming but it wasn't because I felt loved like never before.

Then I thought "wait how did I get here? what am I doing here? how do I come back?" At this moment I kind of whirled out of there and came back to my body.

I was filled with love and the world was shining like it never had.


Paradise waits...

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On 5/1/2021 at 2:43 PM, acidgoofy said:

So I've decided to share my breakthrough N-N DMT experience I had a few years back. At this time I didn't know anything about spirituality etc. I just took psychedelics out of curiosity and fun.

The experience happened at a beautiful place in my village right beside a river. It was only me and my best friend Matthew, we both smoked DMT about 15 times before but never enough to breakthrough. We both were determined to do it this time.

There was so much rest DMT in the oil pipe that you could have had a breakthrough experience without adding anything.

Anyway I added about 40mg to be sure and started to heat up the pipe. I remember looking at the pipe while moving it to my mouth, it reminded me at a cauldron and in it the DMT was literally boiling. xD

I thought "oh boy" and took a hit as deep and long as I could.

Immediately I knew that this time it was enough and instantly I blasted off. My friend told me I fell back on the ground as if I had died.
The first thought I had was "Am I dead?" I moved my hand to my heart and felt that it was still beating (my friend told me later this happened for real). Because I felt my heartbeat I knew all is good and calmed down.

So I began to explore this new reality. It felt so real that in comparison the reality I am in right now could be considered "unreal".
The main colour of this place was gold and between the gold was black but not normal black more like infinite blackness. Everything was moving so fucking fast, I remember thinking "this is way to fast, I can't grasp whats going on". The golden colours were always moving and formed symbols that were similar to these:

depositphotos_26858897-stock-illustratio

Somehow I had the feeling that I was inside a Pyramid or somewhere deep down.

Then in the corner of my eye I saw something and felt a presence. I thought "how did matthew get here wtf?".
So I turned to the right to see whats going on and there was this being. It was black and looked like a sphinx and when I looked right into her/his face it was both feminine and masculine, the face was changing all the time. The being didn't have extremities it was just the head and the body but the body didn't have an end, like it was getting smaller so it looked like a tail but never ended.

I looked back in the middle and suddenly these beings were everywhere. There were dozens of them, some were black and others golden.

They had this incredible loving vibe to them, I can't compare it to anything. And they were telepathically communicating with me, all of them.
This is what they said: Welcome... Finally you made it. We have been waiting for you, where have you been so long? WE LOVE YOU.
WE LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU, WE LOVE YOU. Welcome we are so happy you are finally back, we love you.

Never in my life I have felt so welcome and loved. It was almost overwhelming but it wasn't because I felt loved like never before.

Then I thought "wait how did I get here? what am I doing here? how do I come back?" At this moment I kind of whirled out of there and came back to my body.

I was filled with love and the world was shining like it never had.

Awesome 


You mistake my Raja Yoga. 

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I am done with my drug use but when I was exploring these things, I documented this experience on 5 hits of acid and DMT.

This trip is the sole reason I changed my philosophical views from a normal Agnostic Materialist type viewpoint to Advaita Vedanta.

I now know the LSD dose was 460ug not 410ug (EC test on Reddit).

http://www.thepsychedelicexperience.org/2020/05/16/410ug-lsd-nn-dmt-breakthrough-visited-heaven-full-spiritual-religious-experience/

This is still the strongest experience I have ever had in my entire life full stop.

I have not wrote many of my experiences there and have not updated the site in a very long time. I was addicted to psychedelics for a time so in the span of a year I probably have well over 50 DMT trips and over 100 in total with any psych. This was the most intense.

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Posted (edited)

First post on Actualized.org so why not start with a trip report ?. Sorry if it’s a little long. I’ve been a long time watcher of Leo’s videos (first introduced to them by my partner maybe 5 years ago now). I come on the forum from time to time and have a read. I’ve decided maybe a good time to start posting because I have more and more questions going through my head that the community may be able to help answer.

So let’s get to the trip itself. A little bit of background before I start. I’m in my 40’s now, I tried mushrooms twice in my 20’s in an immature fashion. At a party with no real idea of what I was really doing. First time was a little whacky and fun, the 2nd time was challenging, negative thought loops, going crazy etc etc and this put me off them. Now in my 40’s I’m much more grounded, I’ve worked through many parts of my life and got my shit together much more. Aside from Leo’s videos I’ve been watching and reading more about the studies at Imperial College in London and the Johns Hopkins in the US and the ground breaking work they are doing with psychedelics, which is amazing to read and watch about (all be it from a more therapeutic stance). So a perfect time for me to pick these substances back up and see if I can expand my mind a little more.

The first trip I tried (this was a couple weeks before this trip report), I was starting on the light side, just to get a feel for them again. I had 1g psilocybin cubensis. I ground them down in a coffee grinder and steeped them in tea (making sure the water was not boiling) I had chamomile to help with any nausea and a little honey for taste. The effects of this trip wasn’t so great. Little effect in terms of insight / sensory, it mainly felt heavy bodily, nausea and a slight heaviness in feeling. This lasted maybe 4 hours in total. I’d not eaten since dinner the previous evening (so a good 16 hours of nothing in my stomach). Which kind of puzzled me because I wasn’t expecting much nausea being steeped in tea. But from researching I do realise it’s very individual.

The next trip I had was a couple of weeks ago, again on a Sunday morning 9:30am ingested. This time round I opted to up the dose to 2g (same batch from previous). I’d also done a little more research because I was hoping to avoid the nausea. So I did a lemon tek this time round. Also realising the trip maybe a little more intense, but I was ready for that. I had my partner trip sitting me, she was sober and holding space and there if I needed her, without really getting involved and shaping any of the trip.

Again didn’t eat for a good 16 hours, grounded down the shrooms and steeped them in lemon juice, stirring every 5 mins or so for around 30 mins. I strained the bits of mushrooms twice really squeezing ever last bit out of them and then discarded them. I had the lemon juice with water to make it a little more palatable. I went to the living room, lay down on the sofa. Eye-mask and music on and relaxed doing some light breath-work. My mood was great, my intension was set (to try and get a better sense of what reality is and just go with the flow of what the mushrooms wanted to show me). After around 30 mins I could feel them hitting me the waves of euphoria started. I taken the eye-mask off and the general signs that I was tripping had started, colour distortion and general distortion in things like the carpet patterns. These were fascinating to get sucked into, the more I focused my attention on items the more magical and trippy they became. Each time I had a drink of apple juice when I brought the glass to my mouth the colour of the juice in the glass would then interact with everything in my line of sight changing the colour to match. This external trippiness went on for some time. Then the peaks of the trip came in what my partner said afterwards were 3 waves. I can’t remember the first wave. But with each wave the the body load was very intense, not in an uncomfortable way, it basically smashed me to the ground (my body was so heavy that movement was difficult). The nausea was also intense with each wave. I had a bucket ready, each time these waves hit me it made me retch, thankfully empty stomach so nothing was coming up.

The second wave was powerful and my awareness was through the roof. I lay with my eyes closed and felt really connected with myself, visuals were strong with my eyes closed and had a strong sense of compassion for myself and this was really emotional, it allowed me to really forgive myself for not taking care of my body in my younger years (20s). Although I’m perfectly healthy, I did abuse my body a little when I was younger. My partner held my hand through this period, which really grounded me and helped massively. The 3rd and last wave was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Again massive body load (I could hardly move). I closed my eyes and the only way I can describe it, was the whole of reality (and everything contained within - including myself) just started to fracture away in many many, almost an infinite number of parts. This went on for god knows how long (time no longer existed at this point) and when it finally stopped fracturing away there seemed to be nothing, just an infinite expanse of nothingness. I had no sense of anything (who, what, where I was) it just felt like pure love (I know it sounds like a cliche). I felt connected to everything it was the greatest feeling I’d ever felt and I seem to bath in it forever. My partner said I had my eyes closed just saying “this is amazing” over and over. Then after some time my general sense of me seemed to return. I’ve not pieced together yet exact how I returned (and I’m not sure if I will). This last wave eased very quickly and it was like I’d gone from totally tripping to being generally back to my base reality very quickly. At this point visuals were very much back to normal. I could then move around, so got up and had some food and went into the garden to play with the dog. The total trip length from ingestion too feeling relatively normal again was 4 hours.

Im still spending time integrating what happened and how it effects my everyday life. I had a total loss of self, some might call this ego death. Although I’m a little shocked at doing this from only 2g of mushrooms. Other reports I’ve read are generally 4+gram at least before this happens. I guess everyone is different and maybe I’m sensitive to psychoactive substances.

I’ll spend more time integrating before I go again. I’ll do this dose more times because I still feel there is loads of insight to be gained. I do have many questions, so maybe I’ll just post them separately in the main ‘Meditation, Consciousness, Enlightenment, Spirituality’ forum.

Thanks for taking the time to read ?

Edited by Alex M
typo

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DPT The Dying Bird and the Light

A week before, I had started to test very low doses of DPT in plug, then 30mg . Nothing abnormal with the very low doses, and the 30mg had directly put me in confidence, the experience had been intense, I felt extremely relaxed, euphoric and with a very marked effect on the mood and consciousness expansion . A few days later, I had to see a very good friend's house, she likes psychedelics too, We both took about 250mg of DPT orally and we slept together. I wouldn't have the words to describe it, it was magic, the impression of confusing our two bodies, but that's another story.

 

The Trip 

 

I first weigh 25mg and snort it. Contrary to the oral route or the plug, the come up is quite brutal, my heart races a bit, my thoughts fly... I have an anxiety attack. One of these panic attacks as I lived thousands of them. I sit in a meditation position on the music of Klaus Schulze and decide to analyze each physical symptom, and to accept it. Yes my heart and breathing are particularly prominent in my perceptions, yes it is disturbing but it has happened to me so many times and I have always pulled myself out. As soon as this train of thought appears, the discomfort disappears and I find myself in a kind of psychedelic cocoon. Everything is beautiful, I am incredibly serene, I see rainbows with my eyes open and intense lights with my eyes closed, I meditate for an hour on the music and then I go to shower, cook and eat a small meal, always in this state that I would describe as similar to 1-1.5g of mushrooms, I felt absolutely no incapacity if I decided to move, but lying down remained the most comfortable.

 

After this introduction, the night begins to fall so I sink into my comforter, prepare some music ( dub, psybiant, hightech, darkpsy) and weigh 100mg of DPT that I separate in two lines . After the first 50mg, the usual anxiety attack that I manage with even more ease than the first one. A bit like under DMT, my body is crossed by extremely pleasant electric sensations, I find erotic sensations while the psychedelic wave arrives. As the visions start to grow, I rush to smoke a big joint and then collapse in ecstasy under my comforter, still with music. I live then an incredible synthesis, my 5 senses seem to interact between them and with my room in a cosmic dance. I could spend pages and pages describing galleries of multicolored fractals, fantastic creatures like elves, spaceships of an incredibly sophisticated technology, monsters worthy of Lovecraft and architectures with Escher.

 

 I felt extremely serene, happy, my vital signs seemed normal and I told myself that if I had to be there, I might as well push myself to a possible breakthrough. Still feeling a bit scared about my heart and my epilepsy, I waited for an hour for the storm to pass and took 9mg of bromazepam.

I weigh again between 100 and 150mg of DPT, and I smoke a very loaded joint. Besides the psychedelic Lovecraftian science fiction type of vision festival that is increasing, I definitely feel like dying. I don't feel like a human anymore, and I have a lot of physical sensations, I feel every heartbeat, every breath, every drop of blood in my veins or saliva in my mouth. I am no longer here, I feel like a dying bird, I see this bird on the verge of death, I have a bullet in my heart and the impression that my blood is spreading in a great whole, to return to dust, and to be a fertile ground for new life forms. I am not afraid. I am at peace, in total acceptance of what is happening to me and I feel strong waves of love.

 

I come back to myself little by little, with my eyes closed, I see now roots, insects and all kinds of strange life forms, sometimes, more than a figure, it is a landscape that takes shape, always in a surrealist style. I spend the whole night slowly coming down and thinking. I think a lot about my impulsive personality, and my hedonism that pushes me to addiction as opposed to more demanding and longer term gratifications . I have the impression that there is a void in me that I have never been able to fill because I feel socially inadequate, weird and anxious with a low self-esteem. I tell myself that this feeling of strangeness towards the external and social world has closed doors for me, and that the more I isolate myself in comfort, the more I feel empty and need hedonistic pleasures. But even though I have a lot of shame and little self-esteem, people love me, they are there for me, they accept me, I want to spend more time with these people and I should make love and cuddle more often too ^^

 

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In June 2020, during a meditation, a geometry appeared to me that I later found on the internet under the name "Metatron's Cube". Could you give me more opinions about it? What happened at that time? What does it mean? How can I repeat that experience?
My eyes blinked during meditation, I was listening to the following YouTube music: 

54712bb1063ee94f40c4dae1a4c1d9c7.jpg

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@Gonzalo Please create a thread under meditation (https://www.actualized.org/forum/forum/4-meditation-consciousness-enlightenment-spirituality/). This thread's purpose is to link to psychedelic trip threads you posted.

If you would open your own topic, you would get more specific answers.


"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

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Second and Third Shroom Trip, questions about what happened to me

I recently got into Leos work and YouTube channel. I have since been devouring his content. I had been wanting to take shrooms for a while to experience the insanity that is tripping. so I had my first trip with my friend trip sitting me. this trip was nothing special. just a half dose for me at 1.6 grams. mainly visuals and good body sensations.

the second trip is where it got really interesting. this time I was alone entirely in my house and dedicated to realizing my true nature as god. My aim going into this trip was to realize what I really was and have an awakening. so I took 1.8 grams this time, I tried a tea this time so I didn't get so sick, and it helped a lot. on the come up it was nothing special I just started to feel a bit sick and then realized I needed to take my mind off of being sick. so I went and played piano for a bit. after that I had to use the restroom so I went and sat. during my time in the bathroom I realized that I was the same as my uncle. I was siting the same way as him, laughing like he laughs. from there it kicked my mind into high gear thinking about all the things that were me. the floor, the sink, the air, my friends and family. I then went into my bedroom to continue thinking about these things. I realized that I had crafted every moment of my life to bring me to the realization I was experiencing at that exact moment. and that it was all beautiful and perfect in every way. from there I kept realizing more and more things that were me and loving all of them. I realized that it would be stupid to tell anyone about what was happening to me because they already knew and I am them. i also realized that i would eventually come back down after the shrooms and experience life again as normal and as duality.

now i want to know. what was this experience. was it as simple as having a samadhi (a dissolution between self and other) and now I have a reference for the path to enlightenment? was i temporarily in a higher consciousness state only because of the shrooms and I cant reach that without them for the time being? can I raise my consciousness to that level and keep it there indefinitely without drugs? is that what enlightenment is?

now on to the Third trip to add a little more pattern recognition here.

this time was perfect as far as nausea goes. i wasn't nauseous at all for the whole time. i took 2.1 grams this time (2/3 of my normal dose) and i had some strange ideas occur. 1. i felt like i was getting dragged into thought loops over and over and that i couldn't control my mind anymore (exactly like smoking too much weed). i felt like i needed to become more dutiful and get more willpower to be able to thrive on those trips and really focus on what i need to. i kept rolling around in my mind trying to get myself to focus on what i wanted which was realizing that i am god and how i am creating reality. after doing this for a while i gave up and started listening to music. had a nice time. then i realized i needed to work out and become more physically fit. i started working out, and worked out for a whole 30 minutes which is usually not something i do as of recent. then i started to clean all the dishes in the sink. and there was a shit ton. during cleaning i listened to an episode of Leos. it was something about realizing that you are god. during this video I had another awakening or what felt like it. i realized that all time was an illusion and I had pre determined everything that was going to happen. and it was all amazing and exactly how it should be. including the murders and rapes and everything in existence. i started looking at the sponge i was using while leo described the sponge and i realized that while i was messing with the sponge and bubbles it was exactly what had to happen a this point. all sense of ownership over me doing something stopped. and instead it was just what reality was, it was just bound to happen. 

so now the meta theories i have about these experiences

1. I had taken way too much weed a few days prior and i think it messed with my trip in that the trip was just like the weed high. couldn't get out of the thought loops that kept cropping back up.

did I take too much or is this what's supposed to happen? should I take more? should I up my discipline by working out losing weight and eating healthy? was my mind tumbling because it isn't cleansed of heavy metals and I'm not in tip top shape?

2. I keep having realizations when the shrooms shouldn't be at their most potent and I should still have some ego remaining. why is this?

3. if I am really realizing I am god during these trips, why isn't it remaining afterwards, why cant I access it easily after the trip and how can i get back to these insights?

4. should I not try 5-meo until I can control myself on shrooms or is controlling my mind not an option at all on higher doses of shrooms and 5-Meo

5. is 5-meo a good way to supercharge my spiritual and enlightenment journey when I am still fresh to this stuff? should I start soon or wait longer?

I have been doing self inquiry now for a few days and I'm not trying to rush or anything, but I can tell that it feels like I'm a little better at this stuff than most since I am going kind of quickly and my mind is extremely open. or maybe I am deluding myself and what I experienced on shrooms further put me into the delusion of me believing I am god, instead of me really experiencing it? since I probably still had some ego left.

Anyways I just wanted some input on this. I know I am new to this journey, I am so insanely interested in this stuff it feels like I could never stop pursuing it since it is just absolute truth. I wont stop till I watch every Leo video, read the books on his list and more, and really embody what it is I am grasping at right now.

any insights would be appreciated and if you read this @Leo Gura I am so happy that the trail of breadcrumbs we left can lead us to true self love <3

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