Loving Radiance

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  1. @Happy Lizard I had the same problem at #3 and I knew that I could only be sure when I defined the values. I keep a journal about my LP process, which is in my signature:
  2. @deathendmartin Be careful. It is not something to take lightly. I had a kundalini awakening after ingesting two microdoses of weed and then doing kriya yoga (routine up till Om Japa) 2 hours after ingestion.
  3. Thank you for writing this. I will add it to the first page of my LP course notes in order to remember this mindset on the journey. By the way, do you remember how long it took you to prioritize your values? As far as it seems to me it will take more than 3 weeks of working on one comparison... that's my guess-timate from comparing one value to three other values. Really difficult stuff so far.
  4. Pass #7: 10/10 ~ continuation I looked through other lists of values on the internet and I discovered my 10th value! It's Grace! It is something I missed because it is very similar to Love. Funny, now I see where my avatar name is coming from 10. Grace/Compassion/Empathy My definition: Recognizing the divinity & innocence of a being (in front of me), and being loving, merciful and kind grace & presence. Congruence rating: 4/10 10/10: Deep embodiment of Self-love in daily life through prayer and daily bathing in presence & love. Self-forgiveness (seeing my innocence) & grace by channeling infinite love in my diary, practicing self-compassion, and letting go of myself. Having an open heart by consciously letting go of protective layers & parts and going into authentic and warm contact with the world. Feeling & understanding of the other's world by seeing where a person is and being in their shoes, including their pain, emotions and psyche's dynamics.
  5. Update Living here at the community (they have a focus on creating a new earth through awakening on all levels) makes me be distracted most of the time. I took on their commitment to their shadow work processes & inner growth, and right now my processes take up most of my resources. They bring up strong emotions which are hard to handle and it's intense how my psyche is rewiring itself on a daily basis. Deep unconscious forces pull my attention away or distract with all kinds of emotions, using every technique to keep the system in homeostasis, even if that homeostasis means that in the long-term energy is being lost and that I am not able to create what I desire most deeply in the world. The strong negative emotions require me to need more time to settle myself and be clear-headed when sitting down for the LP course steps. Yeah, doing introspection, shadow work and recreating how my psyche and nervous system are built is bringing up lots of ego backlash and emotional rollercoasters... Deep inside I feel that I need to take on responsibility for myself and create more time & space for the LP course. Just for some time I need to make the LP course my 1st priority and the processes 2nd. I deeply desire the focus that comes with discovering myself and creating my vision.
  6. Pass #6 - Congruence Ratings Love/Intimacy/Spirituality/Beauty/Connection/Joy My definition: Being one with reality/divinity (with a human and other being and its vulnerability). Feeling awe, aliveness and expansiveness. Congruence rating: 3/10 Authenticity My definition: Feeling grounded in my core essence and truth. Moving from the core; expressing my truth. Congruence rating: 6/10 Clarity/Truth/Consciousness/Awareness/Feeling/Understanding/Honesty My definition: Living at a state of truth which illuminates, makes me feel and be conscious of any true form. Dispelling illusion. Congruence rating: 5/10 Contribution/Impact/Helping Others/Society/Wholeness/Nature My definition: Using my gift to help and elevate all of life to healthy and the highest possible form of living. Congruence rating: 2/10 Health My definition: Self-care and maintenance of the body and mind with nutrition, exercise, intentional habits (physical, emotional, mental hygiene) and inner work. Congruence rating: 5/10 Self-Mastery My definition: Being fully conscious of inner processes. Cleaning, Growing and Waking up. Kindling the inner flame and being a conscious creator. Congruence rating: 5/10 Friendship/Companionship/Community My definition: Support, trust, energy exchange and mirroring. Unknown, mysterious depths of the other psyches make me recognize myself. Congruence rating: 4/10 Open-mindedness/Perspective/Exploration My definition: Discovering and seeing reality from all different angles. Unattachment and fluidity of mind allow recognition where energy flows and stagnates. Congruence rating: 4/10 Wisdom/Simplicity My definition: Seeing the core of a thing. Root-cause thinking. Ripple effect. Trust in life. Alert & relaxed. Focus on energy flow. Congruence rating: 4/10 Communication/Creativity My definition: Sparking recognition and understanding via feeling images which capture the essence of any form and state of being. Congruence rating: 4/10 Pass #7: 10/10 During the writing process I noticed that my congruence ratings changed. And my last value Communication/Creativity isn't resonating. What I learn from that is that I need to feel into what I value at a high level or meta level and not just the content of something. Although communicating & sparking insight and bringing something across using the feeling images is something that I feel is meaningful to me (it's more connected to Contribution, Clarity, and Wisdom), it's not something I see as a value. There are values behind this skill but not the true resonant values which are deeply embedded in me. Perhaps the definition is too limited, but I'll investigate this soon and maybe swap out my 10th value. Love/Intimacy/Spirituality/Beauty/Connection/Joy My definition: Being one with reality/divinity (with a human and other being and its vulnerability). Feeling awe, aliveness and expansiveness. Congruence rating: 4/10 10/10: What is missing is a sense of deep presence and tranquility. A deep embodiment of feeling/letting through the love of/in my essence at all times. That embodiment illuminates identification & resistance to inner conflict. Seeing the world as myself, being universal consciousness. This is realized to be my inherent nature by daily prayer and meditation. Authenticity My definition: Feeling grounded in my core essence and truth. Moving from the core; expressing my truth. Congruence rating: 6/10 10/10: Continuously letting my inherent joy of living flow through me, come out of me and express itself through my being. Being undisturbed by fear because I see through it. Being grounded in self-love and all-accepting, judgment-free presence. Creating from my inner knowing anything I desire. Being internally sensitive and perceptive via meditation, and activating my will including the need to sometimes step outside my comfort zone Clarity/Truth/Consciousness/Awareness/Feeling/Understanding/ Honesty My definition: Living at a state of consciousness/truth which illuminates, makes me feel and be conscious of any true form. Dispelling illusion. Congruence rating: 4/10 10/10: Undisturbed, free-flowing cognitive ability. Cleaned-up and aligned psyche which requires deep meditative presence, observation, and lack of bias, which is achieved by doing introspection like process work. Compassionate understanding. At will thinking and operating at a high vibrational cognitive state which requires daily training through contemplative journaling. Contribution/Impact/Helping Others/Society/Wholeness/Nature My definition: Using my gift to help and elevate all of life to healthy and the highest possible form of living. Congruence rating: 2/10 10/10: Searching for ways to access my transformation & empowerment and transmitting/teaching these ways of being and doing to others. Helping people empower themselves through bodywork, process work (mental), and energy work. Being engaged in a high-conscious team in an educational organization which is the leverage point for global transformation. Seeing the transformation happen before my eyes in person; statistics are secondary. Health My definition: Self-care and maintenance of the body and mind with nutrition, exercise, intentional habits (physical, emotional, mental hygiene) and inner work. Congruence rating: 5/10 10/10: Starting each day with intentional self-care habits like meditation, body activation exercises, inner nurturing and visioning. Being so grounded and psychologically aligned on doing good for myself that attachment to old unhealthy ways of being are melting away. Having steady & continuous body awareness and introspective presence (solution for noticing bodily intelligence when and how to regulate and be in healthy homeostasis) through body-based meditation, process work, body work (body-based process work, and personal stamina & strength training) and energy work. Self-Mastery My definition: Being fully conscious of inner processes. Cleaning, Growing and Waking up. Kindling the inner flame and being a conscious creator. Congruence rating: 5/10 10/10: Continuous and steady presence & equanimity through meditation. Compassionate and non-judgemental understanding through meditation, journaling and process work. Living with conscious people and growing together through lifelong learning and exploration and mastery (resistance-less moving of energies). Stepping into challenge and the grow zone in social, physical, emotional, cognitive and energetic domains. Being engaged in creation without resistance by aligning the psyche through process work. Friendship/Companionship/Community My definition: Support, trust, energy exchange and mirroring. Unknown, mysterious depths of the other psyches make me recognize myself. Congruence rating: 5/10 10/10: Having up to 20 friends and 5 close friends by openly connecting to resonant people and maintaining present friendships. Feeling deep connection to friends, creating space for intimate recognition, and being in that intimate nature of connection in social situations by opening my heart, going into flow and exploring & feeling the other being. Living in an intentional community by having ways of income and seeking or founding resonant communities. Having healed my SD purple trauma of being the outsider in groups through process work. Having healed from avoidant attachment into secure attachment through process work. Open-mindedness/Perspective/Exploration My definition: Discovering and seeing reality from all different angles. Unattachment and fluidity of mind allow recognition where energy flows and stagnates. Congruence rating: 4/10 10/10: High-vibrational cognition accessible at all times by practicing deep contemplation and exploration of perspectives in journaling daily, and through meditation and aligning the psyche (process work). Putting myself in the other's shoes. Attaching and letting go of any thoughts, beliefs and theories through daily meditation and journaling. Being in presence which allows tapping into intuition, opening up the subtle sensors and introspecting what energy there is and where it flows. Wisdom/Simplicity My definition: Seeing the core of a thing. Root-cause thinking. Ripple effect. Trust in life. Alert & relaxed. Focus on energy flow. Congruence rating: 3/10 10/10: Deeply grounded and observant presence & alertness that recognizes & filters the energy, which is developed through daily meditation, and journaling & reflection on inner dynamics, processes and development, and also personal sharings with friends and close ones. A detached introspective focus on the essence of my being (love, presence, peace, joy) to be able to notice the energy flow arising the root/core/essence, which changes and moves with each moment and while being in connection with higher guidance. To live in that state I need a continuous connection to intuition & inner knowing and way of life of expressing/manifesting them, through daily introspection and consciously creating situations of my authenticity where I am stepping into tension, like ice bathing or going over my boundaries for a bit longer. Communication/Creativity My definition: Sparking recognition and understanding via feeling images which capture the essence of any form and state of being. Congruence rating: 4/10 10/10: Continuously living in that feeling state and capturing & expressing it on a daily basis through journaling and conversation. Deliberately bringing it into my way of communication with myself and others. It's developing a way of being in internal clarity and seeing how the inner feeling landscape is moving and shifting. Continuous internal understanding and knowledge. However now that I think of it, I notice that it doesn't really resonate. It's too limited, not really like a passion, but more like a side-hobby.
  7. January 27, 2024 Dear God, I sit here early in the morning after activating and sensing my body with a morning dance. I planned to feel each morning to feel universal love, however I notice that I am currently in a low self-esteem and sad psyche part. I cannot feel love. It's as if I want to walk through a wall of gelatine, but it's holding me back. I want to feel the love. I want to feel my whole being. I'd like to feel that love flows through my whole being and comes from my innermost source. There is deep love in sadness. Love that sadness. Drop deep. The way of love is not avoidant or rejecting. It's all-embracing. Feel all the hurt and pain. The despair and suffering. The resistance. You don't have to do [love] or prove yourself worthy [of love]. It moves through your entire being. It is always here. The energies of sadness or pain might seem to cover it, but it is still here, always. I see that it is a state of being, and not of doing. Yes, let that sink into your entire being. It's a state of openness, which embraces all that is. It seems to be a state of consciousness which is beyond any "doing" of love. Let it sink in. Yes, I see how it is a way of carrying myself.
  8. Pass #5 - Value Definitions First I rewrote the definitions according to the guiding questions. Funny how accurate the initial definitions from pass #3 were already. I then merged "Love/Intimacy" and "Beauty/Connection/Joy/Spirituality" because they were too similar. "Communication/Creativity" is something that I added to the list and I realized that it was already implicitly part of "(internal) Exploration & Curiosity" in pass #1. I first thought of adding "Positivity/Optimism/Hope" or "Community" as the 10th value, but it didn't feel right because it wasn't showing up in the passes before. This list feels coherent now. Love/Intimacy/Spirituality/Beauty/Connection/Joy My definition: Being one with reality/divinity (with a human and other being and its vulnerability). Feeling awe, aliveness and expansiveness. Authenticity My definition: Feeling grounded in my core essence and truth. Moving from the core; expressing my truth. Clarity/Truth/Consciousness/Awareness/Feeling/Understanding/Honesty My definition: Living at a state of truth which illuminates, makes me feel and be conscious of any true form. Dispelling illusion. Contribution/Impact/Helping Others/Society/Wholeness/Nature My definition: Using my gift to help and elevate all of life to healthy and the highest possible form of living. Health My definition: Self-care and maintenance of the body and mind with nutrition, exercise, intentional habits (physical, emotional, mental hygiene) and inner work. Self-Mastery My definition: Being fully conscious of inner processes. Cleaning, Growing and Waking up. Kindling the inner flame and being a conscious creator. Friendship/Companionship/Community My definition: Support, trust, energy exchange and mirroring. Unknown, mysterious depths of the other psyches make me recognize myself. Open-mindedness/Perspective/Exploration My definition: Discovering and seeing reality from all different angles. Unattachment and fluidity of mind allow recognition where energy flows and is stuck. ["... and stagnates." is also quite good, maybe change this in the future] Wisdom/Simplicity My definition: Seeing the core of a thing. Root-cause thinking. Ripple effect. Trust in life. Alert & relaxed. Focus on energy flow. Communication/Creativity My definition: Recognition and understanding through feeling images which capture the essence of any form and state of being.
  9. Are some of the essentials changed? I have the 4th edition eBook. ChatGPT wrote this on the connection of the vayus to Shambhavi Mudra:
  10. Progress report day 69 Basics: Daily practice each morning and evening since October 23, including Om Japa for 2 months. I missed 3 days in that timeframe. I already did Kriya Yoga till Talabya Kriya in 2020 and summer of 2023 but I never did it with dedication, consistency and commitment. Since a vipassana 10-day meditation course in 2019 I always felt a pulsing sensation at Ajna's anterior ksetram (forehead) during my normal meditation practices. Focusing on this sensation made Om Japa and Meditation easier for me than for most other people I guess. Practice: I always did 5 or 10 minutes of Meditation, depending on how much time I got. 12 rounds of each Nadi Sodhana Pranayama and Ujjayi Pranayama are now getting me into the meditative high. There have been many days where, due to time constraints, I only did the minimum, but now I realize that those initial two practices are for preparation of the real energy work and grounding. It is my priority right now to do Kriya for the maximum round number each time and also to set aside time for that. Since the Kundalini awakening, I experience clearer access to the energetic sensation and dimension already through Ujjayi Pranayama. Om Japa can make this intensity quite high when focus is placed on chanting Om not in the mind (where the mind dialogue is going on) but in the energetic dimension. "Placing" the Om sound at the ksetrams is the key to do this. In week 5 I saw a clear image of a star-shaped light during Meditation. Sometimes a different quality of light rather than the normal floating and shape-shifting lights will arise during Meditation. Concentrating on that light blob brings me into thoughtless zen mode and into great peace. Since 4 weeks I am more conscious of the energy in the spine. I waited with starting KP1 because I didn't have complete focus while doing Om Japa. Kundalini awakening: On December 2, 2023 I had the experience after ingesting orally 2x microdoses of marijuana, drinking 15 - 30g of ceremonial raw cacao, doing evening Kriya practice, and doing energy work practice in a group of 15 people late into the night. During that Kriya practice I felt nothing different than normal although I took the marijuana 2 hours prior. During the energy circle I began to feel the energy (felt like magic) going round and round and me actively participating in it. Before that night I always acted along in the energy work but never felt it. At some point I felt lightheaded (as if I was dehydrated after drinking the cacao). In the kitchen then my legs began to shake. I felt more lightheaded and felt vibration in Muladhara too. I got some people to help and sit with me as I was laying down legs up. The intensity came and went in waves of bodily shaking. I didn't know what I was experiencing and so a fear of death came too because I had past traumatic experiences of identity loss on mushrooms. The people helped me to be at least okay with that state and to let go of needing to control the experience. With time a more psychedelic state began to arise, and the energy waves began to become more subtle, cognitive and spiritual. Waves of energy manifested cognitively as me only being able to experience this present moment and to forget past & future, e.g. losing track of everything mid-sentence. Repeatedly I had to surrender and let go of being able to hold on to the identity. Looking at faces began to feel foreign because the individual features were perceived as single parts and not anymore as a whole (= certain brain parts shut off). I got conscious of the material, ethereal and spiritual dimensions. I needed to release a lot by going to the toilet, and during that state, it became clear to me how intensely I felt the energy. At the peak (after 3 - 5h) I was conscious only of existence, emptiness and love. It was clear what all the spiritual teachers and actualized.org spoke about. The state got more intense as I closed my eyes and traveled into space. The following day (after 15h) I felt back "in reality" and experienced deep peace and love. There was no fear or anxiety. Identification and fears began to come back after 2 days. I am now able to recognize when I begin to loose touch with reality (= lightheadedness), and I am better able to ground and center myself. Still, sometimes it is too much, e.g. not being able to sleep because I am too high from Om Japa. It is easier now to connect with the feeling of love and peace. Kriya Pranayama During my initial attempt at KP1 today, I decided to stop due to feeling uncomfortably high from Om Japa. Like in the Kundalini awakening I felt the onset of not being able to function and properly use my mind. I decided to take small steps and not go into full intensity by tapping into the energetic realm while doing KP1. Going slow will get my bodily system accustomed with the energetic high in order for the arising fear to be less intense. As JC Stevens wrote, it takes months for the body to adapt. For now I can only do baby Kechari Mudra. I read that one can do more than 50 rounds of Talabya Kriya, so I will increase and test things out. However, I am also open to reducing it because valuable things require development over time and I want to not injure myself by wanting to go too fast too soon. Same goes for Om Japa and chanting in the energetic space. Essential insights for the Kriya practice: Do techniques with inner relaxation rather than stress (stress can look like being very focused and strict on counting seconds). Have the main focus on awareness of body & chakras rather than counting rounds and seconds. Focus on the present moment: let go of all thoughts, images, stories and emotions - let go of all mind-form. Using a metronome (to track seconds) and Theta binaural beats as tools are only good in the first few weeks. With time a more intuitive understanding/feeling will replace the metronome. The binaural beats will develop to hinder sensing of energies (which become important to feel starting at Om Japa). For Om Japa, imagine to feel Om while chanting "at" & "from" the chakras. Tap into the energetic dimension and chant Om in that space.
  11. Pass #1 - Most Meaningful Things In Life It took many hours of introspection to arrive at my top 10. Not at all just 30 minutes. I finished this pass way back in September. So many of my real-life examples of the values were connected to multiple values. (internal) Exploration & Curiosity Companionship Authenticity/Truth/Wisdom/Simplicity Impact Wholeness Clarity Love Feeling (deeply) Beauty Understanding (Joy & Bliss) Pass #2 - Tabula Rasa Self-mastery in intellect & emotions through: meditation introspection/contemplation growth-zone: facing that which I avoid shadow work - aligning energies conflicts with people e.g. what I criticize, truly think and stand for; showing myself Authenticity - centered in myself, following my heart's calling and being what I am Sharing my gift and impacting people - empowering people (through the system); my kindled flame ignites people's flames Joy - doing activities in deep love-, trust- and joy-contact with many people Intimacy - secure social net, and being in deep friendships & partner relationships (and if resonant, being a father and bringing children into the world) Health - taking care of my body (& nature) balance of rest/nourishment & healthy stress Pass #3 - Master Values List At first, I had 23 values and needed to reduce them by combining them to get to 10 values. To combine the similar ones I needed to define them. Love/Intimacy Importance: 10/10 My definition: Connection. Recognition of divinity. Awe. Aliveness. Expansiveness. Reason: To love and to share intimacy is why I'm here. Sharing my love means to contribute, impact and touch people with my gift. Love is my essence; it is who I am. Authenticity Importance: 10/10 My definition: Being grounded in who & what I am. Being grounded in my truth and expressing my truth. Moving from that grounded security. Reason: Authenticity is about self-love. Clarity/Truth/Honesty/Consciousness/Awareness/Feeling/Understanding Importance: 10/10 My definition: Noticing all energy movement in the mental & bodily dimension. Seeing truth rather than illusion. Recognition of the essence. Being connected to truth, a higher state of being. Living life in that state. Reason: Understanding, true seeing, truth recognition, and thus love. Contribution/Impact/Helping Others/Society/Wholeness/Nature Importance: 10/10 My definition: Adding value to the universe. Giving myself to life. Being the highest expression of what I am. Sharing my gift and unique expression. Creating a healthy way of living for all life that is natural and win-win. Reason: I want to be selfless, idealistic and working towards something higher. I want to deeply touch & move people. Beauty/Connection/Joy/Spirituality Importance: 10/10 My definition: Being conscious of reality; appreciating a part of reality; appreciating the being of reality; being in touch with & connected to reality. Being one. Recognition of the highest. Being captivated and fascinated by existence or in awe of existence. Reason: Connection to a higher state of being. Health Importance: 10/10 My definition: Self-care in nutrition, exercise, mental activity (lifestyle, habits, information intake, inner work). Reason: It serves Clarity and clear perception. It serves Authenticity. Self-Mastery Importance: 10/10 My definition: Being a conscious creator in order to serve life. Knowing where energies go. Releasing energy blockages of emotional repression, limiting beliefs, and autopilot-stuck psyche parts. Reason: Being a pure, superconducting channel and serving life. It serves Contribution. It is also fun to discover the blockages and feel the relief of (painful) truth. Friendship/Companionship Importance: 9/10 My definition: Seeing and recognizing each in the other. Having a foreign water-awareness-mirror to see myself. Reason: I love the uniqueness and landscape of others. The completely foreign world. I value the energy exchange. Dancing together. Recognition of the other. Open-mindedness/Perspective/Novelty Importance: 9/10 My definition: Seeing all possible ways to look at things; all possible angles to look at a diamond. Finding the most true, healthy, whole and functional lenses. Recognizing where energy gets lost and already flows. Reason: There is a merciful, compassionate understanding, and also a curiosity. It leads to being connected with life because everything is seen & deeply felt from every position & survival bias. Wisdom/Simplicity Importance: 9/10 My definition: Touching the essence/core of something. Signal instead of the noise. Clear self-understanding. Compassionate understanding. A feeling of appreciation of development. Feeling at peace with development. Trust in life. Relaxed energy but alert & awake. Reason: There is a calmness and relaxed peace & trust in life. Knowing what is essential... because the natural state in this digital age is to be full of noise. Pass #4 - Toxic Values Not one of them are toxic. (Seems to be a step only for those who are primarily at SD Orange)
  12. Deep meditation practice... Every thought form can be de-identified from. This includes fear.@blankisomeone
  13. Dezember 5th, 2023 [After being Love in a trippy kundalini experience on Saturday night. In a community meeting.] Let Love be your core. Love is your essence.
  14. Surrender the attachment to fear.
  15. @Sucuk Ekmek it's about taxing people with extreme wealth, not banks. @Jowblob Simplistic take.