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No i'm only slightly happy when i'm goal orientated because of fears of not learning enough information to later make a big enough impact at current, and then feel i'm getting towards my full potential ever so slightly. i can drop that and go back to being, not for extended periods of time. I.e ill look at reality directly and realise what an amazing thing it is, or just realise the nothingness in things and watch videos on animals. During this rest period i exhibit everythings good and what not, but ultimately the world is goal orientated, no matter what way you look at it and so are systems and therefore i feel if i'm not doing anything especially at my age (23) then i'm wasting my life.

@Wisebaxter Throw away all of these concepts from your inquiry: "focusing, awareness, nothingness, Adyashanti, meditation, technique, 'no thought', void, quietness, etc..." Consider that the inquiry is like a radio interview, or a TV show. Who is watching?

I'm still a little unsure how to know exactly when I've managed to focus in on awareness, especially as I hear it's comprised of nothingness. Leo said to become aware that you are aware, but when I do that I worry I'm just focusing on the concept of 'I am aware.' Or do I just follow my awareness and watch what it does, a bit like Adyashanti's True Meditation? I still can't work out if he's basically describing self inquiry with that technique. Should I perhaps be focusing on 'no thought,' or 'the void,' as essentially that's awareness, isn't it? Focusing on the quietness? Any tips would be awesome. Help a poor monkey out

Hey Winterkight, I know I said I wouldn't likely be back, as I truly believed that once I was able to comprehend God as every "thing", as well as being the will that drives it all, I didn't think there could be anything else to discuss. But, something new has developed. I am hoping you can help me with it. I am still not "doing" anything, and my center is seemingly with the "I" as the observer at all times now. But something new has happened while doing Self-Inquiry the last couple of days. When deep within it, my center appears to be behind the "I". From my perspective the "I" appears as a beam of light (awareness) from out of nothingness directly in front of me. When looking to the side, there are dozens of other beams of awareness appearing out of nothingness as well. They are all pointing outward, they are at varying heights, but all appear to be at the same depth, which puts my perspective at a slightly greater depth within, or as, nothingness. Given my limited knowledge on the matter, this should be impossible given the fact that "I" can't be aware of "I", but of course the "I" is in front of me, so in a way "I" still isn't in the field of awareness technically speaking. And any attempts to try and center myself back at the level of "I" during Self-Inquiry have so far been unsuccessful. Is this just a matter of imagination, or is there something to it. What can you tell me about it if anything?

@Tony 845 Short version: yes. Nuance is important though, so here for the long version: I and some friends/acquaintances got transmissions from Ramaji around a year ago, a little more. Few of us went on to make forum posts about how we were enlightened, in a rather juvenile, what one might call zen-devily way. Here's what I gathered from my experience: 1) Yes, Ramaji's transmissions do have an effect and can in a number of times facilitate entry into a state of abiding non-dual awareness. What I mean by that is becoming consciousness of nothingness behind self and world, a falling a way of the normal contracted sense of being an observer sitting behind the eyes, as well as the doer of the body's actions. It personally took me 6 times iirc to experience what Ramaji refers to as 1k. Some people were told they reached 1k but didn't really experience anything. So it was varied. I've also heard that some people have had countless sessions over time without much progress, and it would seem as if the transmissions may be weaker nowadays. 2) 1k isn't by any means the highest state of enlightenment. I wouldn't call it enlightenment at all, although by this forum's general definition it is an enlightened/awakened state. There's many depths of enlightenment. Ramana Maharshi, who Ramaji considers 1k, was definitely nearer to enlightenment than Ramaji. It's not even a comparison. Likewise, the depth of enlightenment between Ramaji and people he awakened through transmissions, including other RASA givers and his wife Ananda Devi, is nowhere near the same. Ramaji has a four-decade plus journey behind him, people can't just get RASA and be as enlightened as him. 3) Ramaji has plenty of ego issues, as do other RASA givers. 4) Ramaji could help you reach non-duality, perhaps, but it's important to point out the path doesn't end at that. You'll still have layers upon layers of karma, which could cause anything from a deep-down dissatisfaction with life to hard-to-bear suffering. If the suffering is more mild, being in non-duality will make it easier to be escapist and pretend like there's no I, life is perfect, etc. Someone who takes years or decades of contemplation to enter a non-dual state will have more perspective and maturity. Hope some of that helps.

I was thinking about even though it is an illusion it appears real. To the ego family, friends, hobbies, travel, computer games and the whole of the material world is life and even though you are attached to these things as an ego, not being identified with the ego and all the things that comes with it, is synonymous with death. The part that confuses me is that your true Self is nothingness (which would be death) but also everything (which is life). I suppose this just can't be grappled with using language and rationality but my mind is dying to know the answers to these rationally. I can see how religion has so many dogmas as the power of the mind wanting to know these answers without having the answers leads to just settling on an answer and belief systems.

I think nothingness exist but objects also exist. And currently I don't see a connection between them but maybe I will some day. Yeah maybe that wasn't a good analogy. If you get stabbed in one hand your other hand doesn't feel it.

Hi All, I'm sure many of you have heard Leo or various other teachers discuss the "void" in which everything exists. Instinctively whenever I've heard this being referred to, I've always known that i wasn't quite getting it.. I would kind of just try to imagine nothingness.. darkness, the vacuum of space. Nothing really ever came to me as any kind of "realisation" and i could tell that i was just projecting concepts. So a few months ago i was laying down in my backyard, looking up at the night sky. I was thinking about fast we are moving through space. Earth spinning at 1,600km/h its also circling around the sun at 107,000km/h and then consider that the sun is also moving around the milky way galaxy at 720,000km/hr Since there isn't really any kind of universal frame of reference, i began to imagine how we could potentially be moving through space at an infinite speed. I just entertained the idea. Thats when i had an Oh My God moment. It was a deep realisation that, even right now im unable to recapture in the way i did in that moment. I imagined, a cubic meter of a "location" in space that is absolutely motionless.. Stars, Planets, Us.. all passing through it at unfathomable speed. Completely unaffected by it. Sometimes it is "filled" with the vacuum of space and sometimes it is filled with the center of a planet, or even something as dense as a neutron star. It is the nothingness that allows all things to exist within it. Just thought i would share how i came upon this realisation myself in case anyone else was in the same place as I was up until this insight. Coincidentally I heard Leo mention it in one of his more recent videos where he described an object (i think it was a hammer) in empty space as an example. I just thought that even though the way in which I came to my realisation is more convoluted, it might just be the thing that someone needs to get the insight

That materialistic? To me it sounded like the general idea that reality can exist without a perceiver. (At least a human one - which is probably true) Perhaps the only perceiver needed is nothingness/teotl, in which case he is CORRECT.

the practical guide to enlightenment what if true non-duality was just being nothingness being human , nothingness being anger, nothingness being happy, nothingness being sad, nothingness being me, nothingness being you, nothingness being itself, nothingness being something, nothingness being nothing, nothingness being total, nothingness being words, nothingness being time, nothingness being future, nothingness being past, nothingness being non duality, nothingness being non duality what if relaxing and being is the only thing that you can do but ofcourse you can't because you always have the problem that there has to always be someone doing lol, and this is incomprehendable to an ego because they are the finite self but what if? you are just being in the literal sense, no connotations, no annotations just being hence you are already enlightened you just aren't conscious of it.

@How to be wise but what if fear and anger aren't bad? what if it's pure nothingness BEING anger and fear itself, there in itself is no doership/ something done / or something happening. there is only an illusion of something happening ?

the indivisable is being this is where my self-inquiry has led me. at all times you are nothingness itself. its like the whole point of enlightenment is to reliquish your doership or seperate self true or false? i'm not actually looking for an answer, there is nobody who is asking the question. i just wanted to express my excitement and so i hope you can engage in a brace the question with the full might of your being. and express it in which ever way you feel like you can express it, with your being. like the jello lol, it was a good expression of it. you are inside the jello, but you can not see how you are it.

@TheAvatarState i just came to the realisation that we may this all backwards, everything is nothingness and nothingness is everything its hard to hold both statements in your end at one time, but when you realise they collapse on eachother, it always leaves you with the same thing being.

@Joseph Maynor bare with me, i just had a realisation, about exactly what you just wrote before i came online, its so weird that i can't express it fully, its just that isn't being enough, we are all trying to find lofty ideologies and meaning behind the word enlightenment but at its purest levels, you are nothingness and therefore being itself, when you are sad, you are being sad, when you are happy you are just being happy. what need to write a whole book on enlightenment when the simple truth is that all there is is being. whether some people find the pill to swallow that it may not be your life that you are living- it doesn't change the fact that you are being. relaxing and being is all that there is. its like the whole point of enlightenment is to give up your sense of doership and relish in your true self, which is all but fancy terms, you are still going to be the present moment itself. no attachment to anything is fine, everything is fine. its like the more you do this, the happier and peaceful your meant to become, thats fair to say, but it doesn't matter if your experience was positive or negative, you were still the same thing always being.

@Leo Gura in the book god is nothingness what chapter are you on, i am on chapter 10-12 for sure. I am curious to understand the depth at which you understand nothingness currently. preferably not the answer: its difficult to put my own experience into this linear sequence, just a guestimate is fine, its a rather accurate book you have found

Consciousness = Nothingness = Everything But the question is, how conscious are you?

@ajasatya @TheAvatarState I have relapsed and am finding it quite peaceful, but ultimately the single enlightened state is what the pointers are towards yes, but the scriptures and the duality bought about from different traditions can not lead you to enlightenment directly, they are all teoltlizing so to speak . the simplicity is: that everything is nothingness there is also no depth to it either, it may seem like it from the perspective of going from not knowing to knowing. just a friendly reminder hence the reason buddah reached perfect enlightenment. but what your speaking is true all religions start from the need to express the nothingness and hence end up creating fluff in different manners

@Leo Gura On one end some people say that everything there is is consciousness, on the other end some say the only thing there is is Nothingness. I'm a bit confused here, can you give a quick explanation?

That makes more sense to me. But it's still a weird situation. Things existing or not existing blows my mind. No matter how you slice it reality is a magical thing.

Explanation for those who might have trouble grasping what I'm trying to get across with this 0 / ∞! = X As a partial manifestation of Absolute Infinity, out of total formlessness and no-thing-ness, the finite self (you) emerges (along everything else that is perceivable). X + (1 * ∞) = 1^n = ∞! You as the finite self, thinking that you are separate to everything else "around you", interact with all kinds of "other things" of infinite variety throughout your life. 1^n represents that the entirety of all those interactions and of all this interplay is fundamentally all finite - and, because it's 1 to the n'th power, all of the exact same nature, meaning that everything is ultimately just consciousness interacting with itself in all kinds of differnt ways, even though in the end, it all comes back to 1, no matter how large the number of the power may be. Thus, this is equal to Absolute Infinity, or more precisely Absolute Infinity at play, expressing itself. X - 1^n = 0 Once you, as the finite self, lose all finitudes you're attached to, i.e. your body primarily or all other finite material or non-material acquisitions, you then go back to Source, or Nothingness respectively. Now, if we want to throw karma in the mix, that's debatable, but essentially that's how it goes/ends and finally starts all over again. X + √ X = X ↯ ∴ X = 1^n As the finite self discovers, or gets in touch with its root(s) and its origin, it realises that its total finitude, which it was certain of prior to self-realisation, is an illsuion. Therefore, it is now clear that the finite self is just another emergence of consciousness, which will pass away just like everything else that is finite, but that the real Self is concsiousness itself, which never ceases or fades away.

@Yoshy Wonderful:) Well, you see, there's really no differnece between life as it is now and a so-called "afterlife". As you can see in the first equation, that which you emerge from is Nothingness - and in the end, to Nothingness you will return. This is a ceaceless cycle. Enlightenment, then, is more or less the realisation that you who expects to be reborn, in the exact same way as you are right now perhaps, is an illusion because you are not differnt from 1^n - not different from anything else that is finite. But, the good news is that the real you which lies underneath all finiteness will remain exactly where it is, what it is, and how it is for eternity. So in the end there is nowhere to go or to come from. This is obviously just a partial fragment of the "whole" explanation but I obviously can't sit here for forever to "explain" enlightenment to you. That's your job to fully grasp and experience.

∞! -> Absolute Infinity 0 -> Nothingness 1 -> thingness / finiteness X -> every finite self ∴ -> therefore Chapter 1: Birth 0 / ∞! = X Chapter 2: Everything In Between X + (1 * ∞) = 1^n = ∞! Chapter 3: Death X - 1^n = 0 BONUS CHAPTER: Enlightenment X + √ X = X ↯ ∴ X = 1^n (Please note: this is all just meant figuratively and is not properly mathematical at all)

Gurdjieff on Conscience, as recounted to P.D. Ouspensky in “In Search of the Miraculous,” taken from the edition published by by Paul H. Crompton Ltd 2004, Pages 155-156. “‘Conscience’ is again a term that needs explanation. “In ordinary life the concept ‘conscience’ is taken too simply. As if we had a conscience. Actually the concept ‘conscience’ in the sphere of the emotions is equivalent to the concept ‘consciousness’ in the sphere of the intellect. And as we have no consciousness we have no conscience. “Consciousness is a state in which a man knows all at once everything that he in general knows and in which he can see how little he does know and how many contradictions there are in what he knows. “Conscience is a state in which a man feels all at once everything that he in general feels, or can feel. And as everyone has within him thousands of contradictory feelings which vary from a deeply hidden realization of his own nothingness and fears of all kinds to the most stupid kind of self-conceit, self-confidence, self-satisfaction, and self-praise, to feel all this together would not only be painful but literally unbearable. “If a man whose entire inner world is composed of contradictions were suddenly to feel all these contradictions simultaneously within himself, if he were to feel all at once that he loves everything he hates and hates everything he loves, that he lies when he tells the truth and that he tells the truth when he lies; and if he could feel the shame and horror of it all, this would be the state which is called ‘conscience.’ A man cannot live in this state; he must either destroy contradictions or destroy conscience. He cannot destroy conscience, but if he cannot destroy it he can put it to sleep, that is, he can separate by impenetrable barriers one feeling of self from another, never see them together, never feel their incompatibility, the absurdity of one existing alongside another. “But fortunately for man, that is, for his peace and for his sleep, this state of conscience is very rare. From early childhood ‘buffers’ begin to grow and strengthen in him, taking from him the possibility of seeing his inner contradictions and therefore, for him, there is no danger whatever of a sudden awakening. Awakening is possible only for those who seek it and want it, for those who are ready to struggle with themselves and work on themselves for a very long time and very persistently in order to attain it. For this it is necessary to destroy ‘buffers,’ that is, to go out to meet all those inner sufferings which are connected with the sensations of contradictions. Moreover the destruction of ‘buffers’ in itself requires very long work and a man must agree to this work realizing that the result of his work will be every possible discomfort and suffering from the awakening of his conscience. “But conscience is the fire which alone can fuse all the powders in the glass retort which was mentioned before and create the unity which a man lacks in that state in which he begins to study himself. “The concept ‘conscience’ has nothing in common with the concept ‘morality.’ “Conscience is a general and a permanent phenomenon. Conscience is the same for all men and conscience is possible only in the absence of ‘buffers.’ From the point of view of understanding the different categories of man we may say that there exists the conscience of a man in whom there are no contradictions. This conscience is not suffering; on the contrary it is joy of a totally new character which we are unable to understand. But even a momentary awakening of conscience in a man who has thousands of different I’s is bound to involve suffering. And if these moments of conscience become longer and if a man does not fear them but on the contrary co-operates with them and tries to keep and prolong them, an element of very subtle joy, a foretaste of the future ‘clear consciousness’ will gradually enter into these moments.

"The true perceiver is Nothingness" - many on this Forum How about: the true perceiver is Anythingness. Infinity can experience being fully in your perception without any sense of being in another's perception. Hence, why you may feel like you're only having a finite experience as one human person, despite being infinite. For infinity to be truly infinite, it must experience just your perception, just that other dude's perception, and also both simultaneously. So infinity is experiencing any and every perception. Which is why I call it Anythingness. This is just another viewpoint to give more clarity to the new Truth-seekers in this forum. I feel that talking about infinity as identical to Anythingness is easier to understand than referring to it as Nothingness. Just my opinion

So it’s been a month since my last post on here and felt like giving an update. After getting off I actually started feeling a tiny bit better. I was starting to do some self acceptance and it came along actually in the beginning. I was walking on some old trails I used to run on in Marin County over the Golden Gate Bridge. That was kinda where it ended. After about less than a week in I started falling into a worsening depression I haven’t fallen in in years. Mental breakdowns have become basically a daily thing. My only friend who lives next to me isn’t a available for me to talk to him just to have someone to talk to so I’m alone everyday. My dad has been going off on me on how I’m a loser because my suffering “doesn’t make sense” and how I just need to “man up.” I wake up everyday feeling too numb to get out of bed. I’ve had to leave work early a couple times now because I’m barely able to hold back tears. My mind won’t stop. It. Just. Won’t. Fucking. Stop. I can feel even in my body that this entire self is something I’m holding onto in yet trying to drop even a single belief like “ I CAN’T” (my bottommost core belief) because my entire sense of self is revolves around this addiction to holding this belief. This entire self is just a giant lie. Everything I say is a lie. Everything I think is a lie. The way I hold my body is a lie. I don’t feel suicidal per say as I don’t want to resort to that. I honestly just want help. I feel like I’m truly not good enough and that I can’t. I just fucking cant. Relative to what isn’t the belief. It’s that I can’t. Affirmations and such have been a disaster. I’ll be on a run (and now I’m hurt) and when I start feeling that core “I CAN’T” and I affirm “I CAN”, so long as I affirm “I can” there has to be the underlying belief that “I can’t.” Ralston talks about this in his book Pursuing Consciousness when it comes to beliefs, self-images, ideals, etc. I feel like I’m going crazy right now and this is getting worse every single day. This is exhausting. I want this to stop and I deeply want help. I don’t want “just accept yourself more” as I live in a house and an environment that is driving me mad. Self acceptance doesn’t help me move out. I tried learning programming, following the advice of @Bluebird who kindly helped give me some tips, after about a week of not being able to focus (struggling still now being off adderall and with ADHD) and feeling totally confused and still frustrated because the thought of being another programmer just eats at me and also because it’s so hard because of my ADHD, I had to stop. I have a life purpose but honestly it’s so demoralizing because it feels so beyond me. I’m tired of this man I just want help. I’m tired of feeling so dead and numb. Depression feels like nothingness and pain. It’s a hollowness that literally eats you away. I can’t afford therapy, I can’t afford neurofeedback, I can’t afford a life coach. Why did I have to grow up with a mom who tried killing herself every week? Why does my dad have to moralize to me? Why did I have to put on meds to that hurt me more in the long run and didn’t help anything? Why can’t I drop this addiction to suffering and this goddamn identity? Why can’t I just stop my mind for just 5 seconds? I don’t want anything other than help.