yangmilun

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About yangmilun

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    Melbourne
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  1. I argue with people who is materialism that he jugded other people, and I can feel lots smart people could skip this problem. "skip" doesn't mean to ignore them or keep touch with them. I mean some thinkings, ideas or source of their brain system, must be something that trigger toward to positive direction. I want to be respect, but when people judge others, I feel like if he keeps saying this I will be like him, I was angry becoz I want to stop letting him to impact me. "Thinking mechanism", I don't think I describe this correctly. I mean why A, becoz B, why B becoz C. How you guys realize each thinking relevant to your beginning sufferings?I feel this is good becoz I could understand others instead to use my ego to fight them. emm..just like, how to say, why did I argue with those people and ended to negative, becoz I demand something? that's why I desire to know the origin of my suffering. I could feel my family why they think like this way, becoz they suffer A, so they react B today. Same as me, when I argue with materialism about judgement, there is something that must trigger my anger, that's why I react this but others don't. But I dunno what did I suffer, or don't remember. and what's next?? isn't it empty there? if we know brain is just reacted by our situation, what can we do next if we are empty? (sorry about some bullshiting when you read it, and this is my brain thinking process.)
  2. This is the point that I missed thx for help me
  3. I have this problem too, and I have read through all comments in this thread. Before I come out the answer, I keep asking myself how to solve, becoz this was just feelings, I don't even come out any language to describe this feeliings. Here is my history: 1. Don't touch them, then I feel lonely, lonely is fine, but ignore people is not good. 2. Forget spiral work, observe and be chicken with chicken, be wolf with wolf. be color with that color. 3. I suffer betray, and I can see they suffer with their own survival too. I feel lost. 4. Create a space when I deal with different colors, and that little space in my mind is my breath. 5. I find be authentic is demand. becoz I only have little space for myself. 6. I need more, I want to touch different colors, I want happy, and I want to be authentic also. 7. God perspective, Look down from the sky view, I feel cool. but I am not awalys keep that in mind, tired. 8. Ant perspective, think about why they act like this, it's easy to guess thier triggers becoz we good at spiral job. 9. I don't have that kind of energy to think about all people's history. So I need energy. something to push me to solve this. 10. I don't have that huge energy. But I have my spiral level here. And then back to your question, I think at the very beginning you and I were seperated them, or made a wall between self and them, and they can feel it. and I dunno they can feel it. I just thought they are stupid. Self-love, that means you care about them, is avoiding people to create problem to you. use their perspective to feel thier question but use your own spiral level to help them. they only see the result. they don't care what level you are, what method you use. Or, I can say, sometimes lower level people can solve the problem that I cannot do. Do you wish to see higher level people? I could see lots in TV or Youtube. but same as you, I never see higher stage in my life. When I watch them, there are some reasons their levels are higher than me, that is, lower stage people create a chance for those people to let you observe they are higher than you. What I think is, ok then, deal with different colors is a chance to let other people who higher than me to actuaclly see me.
  4. Everytime I set comprehansive tasks with my big dream, or I work with my normal job, it always comes with lots pressure feelings. During this pressure time, my mind comes up lots negative memories that tells me I am victim, I want win that fight. So I keep practicing how to fight with that past, and then I waste my time. I suffer this problem about 20 years, and I realized this is my brain system that it has been already built like this. Any idea? Which video I should watch?
  5. When people saying something about you, how to make sure that is fact or judge?
  6. I feel like this moment I am yellow, that moment I'm red, green, or orange. What I mean is life is complicated, plus the brain is complicated. then this complication interlocks with that complication will matrix bigger complications. Each situation triggers different level of fear or my positive stuff. I feel lonely, brave, love, evil, or happy, so many different emotions. how do I make sure which stage i am in? For sure, people will start from the beginning of the stage, but have you thought about, anyone in your life is just so different to others? Maybe human A always listen to the rules in his life, compare to human B is not listen to the rules, but jump to stage orange, to do his business without school? I feel like all these colors are just in each people's DNA already. people want to grow, fine, go up through the spiral path. but to those people who are locked in their culture and believe, isn't those people just jump to the stage when they born?
  7. I have long time to not enter this forum to see what people reply to me, like you. Because I am afriad that my question is very kid. everytime I come back with brave and read the answers that I feel people are respect and truely to answer my question. so I feel release. Coz I want to say Thank you. ---------- Helping others with same problems that I also have, is the best way to help myself. This is what I find from you. you have lots ideas and many aspects to answer my problem. The difference is, you have many ideas that I never think about, like, 1, 4, 6. and other opinions are what I afriad to think of.
  8. Introvert, Im not good at talk with stranger, schoomate group and party people. and there is quite ego topic that I don't feel that I want to talk about it. plus I think they are not offensive and just make friends. good or bad? I make an excuse that I don't want to talk about it becoz it's too ego, actually, that topic is for survival. so what is your way to face collective ego?
  9. and I wanna be that thousand people. I don't have a happy family. this is why I observe people's emotion for surviving. i have trained a nice ability with different views, different perspective, but I don't have power to get rid of my family's evil, in my mind. that is permanent. Sometimes I watch Leo's video only look for magic world, so that I could have a hope, I posted here to talk Leo's topic before, show some smart, get some warm and acceptable. and I see psychologist, she gave me some similar suggestions, "be coucious to observe my emotion." and I realised "evil and angel" is just a choice. I feel enjoy with hateful, but there is an answer that self-love is ultimate true that I blindly believe. I chose angle, I can see weakness. there is no space to show my pure emotions. I chose evil, this is a good tool to face this shitty world. I respect those people who jump to newer stage in spiral dynamics. this is your game. I don't have more energy to face my game. The world teaches me boring rules to live better. "follow" is the only rules with those different sayings. I desire to tell world, how beautiful to be a thousand Hamlets' readers to see the world. this is not an enlightenment, this is just a fightback to those shitty people, hopelessly. because I tried, and evil VS this tried, this shitty world always wins. It's sucks.
  10. if im lazy, how to let it go? be busy? The mind might say that I need to achieve some goals. but why not let the goal goes and keep lazy? if I keep lazy, nothing to achieve, plus goal is nothing, nothing to 'let it go', so what should I do? Then I let this question go, what is next question I should think? if I am into this loop and I let this loop go, I feel I am stupid becoz my mind has nothing now.
  11. "didn't fight back" triggers my weakness. forget and forgive are also triggers that notice me mayby I am the weak one. people would not hurt me becoz I put them into safe area, and I let people to hurt me becoz I want them hurt me at the beginning. This is why I cannot forgive and forget them becoz I trigger all my weakness by myself. its all my stuff. I don't have higher energy all the time to stop all the triggers happen. and also lower energy reminds me to hateful about the past. The question is, if the best answer only stay temporarily, how to keep myself stop triggerting new negative situation and let the past go.
  12. Can I post just becoz I am happy? that's it. ego happy. hahaha. I was talking to my mom and made my mom happy, and I talk to my partner, we argue something small, and then we peace. plus I argue with my client, they understand me. --- I am not sure how "surrender" really works on me. I don't work "let it go" well. But I told relevant feeling to each person, not hide it. just go through my ego system. I told then how they trigger my ego and how my feel. I have not fear to open my weakness to them, becoz I guess it should be ok. I think my path does not go that far, so I begin my ego path first. I wanna be in a simple life. I share my happiness here, I hope you guys all good.
  13. @LastThursday Teacher's knowledge is useful for personal and career developing. How to distinguish the difference between: your opinion is what you imagined, not mine. you have more experience so I listen to you.