Zigzag Idiot

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About Zigzag Idiot

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  • Birthday 09/01/1967

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  1. Thank you Annie for wishing me well. That's appreciated. I see that attribute missing in a great deal of the population, Too many people are just interested in putting themselves above others no matter the cost of becoming asleep to their own conscience. I make no claims of purity or being good except for irreverent bullshit hyperbole I spout every now and then. My being is always in flux and I try to remember my Self (capital S or Higher Self) some would call it. As often as I can. I do feel quite a bit better this morning. With the covid pandemic and feeling so terrible. It just triggers that fear or possibility. My father passed on when he was 66 yrs old from kidney cancer. When he passed I just set that as my possible time of departure. He pushed himself in the extreme attempting his life aims. Though I haven't accomplished as much as he, we have much in common. I don't take care of myself, eat badly and have been exposed to carcinogens to an outrageous degree. In the number thereof and volume. Given the commonality of our genetics, me and my father. I placed my departure from this planet at 66 years old just to add some sobriety to my overall perspective instead of thinking I'm going to life forever. At almost 55, this gives me 11 years hypothetically and quite arbitrary too I suppose. I don't want to be caught off guard. When my day comes, I want to be ready for it. Maybe even enthusiastic for the oncoming event. Hope your day is good,,, David
  2. @MuadDib @Myioko Thank you!
  3. This is in the spirit of my previous post. I reserve the right to tell you that I love you. Maybe even with tear filled eyes thinking of how precious life is. Then in half an hour tell you what a son of a bitch you are. All of us are this way. We’re naturally multidimensional and not necessarily bipolar. Don’t worry about your self image. Just have your being. I try to observe my preachiness. It’s not meant that way. I trusted a fart earlier and shit on myself TMI I know. Not to mention gross. I know it sounds dramatic but It’s possible I may die sometime soon. I hope not. I keep it an aim to stay in contact with lightheartedness. Physical suffering makes it difficult.
  4. I’ve had a flu like sickness overwhelm me. I lay here in bed with fever, chills and aches. It may be Covid. I don’t know. It seems like it takes a great effort to type anything out. I love you. This happens often whenever I’m in pain. I get weepy and tend to be overly expressive and emotional. But definitely not expressed loudly. I love you. Whoever I see or think about,,,,,, It’s probably awkward to read. For some anyway.
  5. Interesting relevant commentary in Tami Simon’s interview with Ken Wilber. Differing levels of testosterone in men and women’s bodies and the affects of this relative to compulsive behaviors.
  6. I agree with Roy. Looking at this from an evolutionary perspective. With our mostly hairless and delicate bodies. This requires an extremely high sex drive over the millennia to ensure the survival of our species. The culture ego impinges on our sexual expressions. As in the shaming of us through religious dogma and other manipulations. By dividing us against ourselves through the use of shame we become pawns on the chessboard of life for those who are in power. Condensing this post makes my views seem more cynical than they probably are. This short clip of Mckenna kinda embodies the attitude and being energy of one who has dealt with the cultural conditioning of the superego. (Our internalized critic.) An obvious stumbling block is self deception which we would use to go hog wild sexually (Our red energy, lower chakras or instinctual drives and energy. One of my guideposts in the navigation of reclaiming my sexual expression and red energy away from the cultural conditioning is to -NOT IMPOSE MY WILL ON OTHERS. Purifying our emotional center doesn’t happen overnight. Getting a handle on our reactivity is difficult. Developing the capacity for bossing my animal around, to put it in lighthearted terms,,,,,Metaphorically I throw mine a cookie on a regular basis and not attempt to completely bully my lower natures. Ironically I believe this leads to awakening of conscience. I’m still a work in progress.
  7. Good stuff everyone. I appreciate the distinction that's made between deficiency needs and being needs. That is between tier 1 and 2,,,, I've heard it said that in second tier one is more often working from the initiative of selfish fulfillment or inspiration. Yellow The transition from the First Tier of Consciousness to the Yellow level of the Second Tier is a “momentous leap” according to Clare Graves (1974, 2005), when the individual realizes that equally distributing resources among all people and expecting that all humans are equally good and loving creates more problems than it solves. This leap may occur when life conditions change to seriously threaten survival, and the individual/species has to relearn survival (Graves,2002). There are currently a small number of individuals who operate from the Second Tier of existence, but the species as a whole has not yet evolved to this level (Ooten, 2010). http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html
  8. Let go he reminds. He’s been putting out quite a bit lately on his Patreon channel. I paraphrase Almaas- - Don’t reach conclusions and avoid becoming miserable.
  9. It's been hitting 100 degrees Fahrenheit for the last week. All the vegetation is going dormant. I'm doing a lot of laundry because I sweat -out so many changes of clothes. My I-phone survived going through the washing machine! I couldn't believe that it still worked. I've been putting off replacing my Subaru windshield for over a year. Gonna take care of that tomorrow. Living large ,,, ya know. Life in the fast lane,,,,, Hyperbolic rhetoric or rhetorical hyperbole. That's how my grandmother communicated. It defines my style of writing at times. I come by it honestly. In person though, I'm pretty deadpan.
  10. Acquired conscience vs. Awakened conscience I'm full of bullshit sometimes and I'm okay with that. Because it doesn't matter, If I wasn't okay with my periodic bullshit ways. I would be divided against myself. I try not to dismiss or justify my errors but sometimes I probably do. When I err and it causes someone else offence or hardship I try to sit with it and cook. Remorse of conscience informs me and does so properly. The self sustained stain of guilt is a perpetual vicious circle. It's a worthless burden put on mankind by dogmatic religions. It's my experience that guilt blocks the awakening of conscience. So self forgiveness is a necessity and also to see what you don't like in others is also within oneself most often. When it's noticed. Everything is cancelled out. To borrow a line from Rob Brezney. "My morality is always on the verge of collapsing". My automaton or animal is an absolute slut. Guilt is often mixed with acquired conscience. Acquired conscience changes over time and is different between different cultures. This is our conditioning and super ego. Our internalized critic that doesn't come from our inner self but rather an auto-pilot critic from childhood conditioning. We should show kindness towards our elders because even though they had a hand in our conditioning; they've carried this burden longer than us younger folk. Awakened conscience is different and is the same in all awakened people. The 'language of the smile' is a cousin to awakened conscience. Awakened conscience is the intelligence of the Cosmos. It's the golden rule. Do unto others as you would want to be treated. We're all fools and a variety of them as well. A ship of fools is my so called "I". Make yourself vulnerable and Insecure people will mock you sometimes. This can grow you. Forgive yourself as needed. If anyone does you wrong and makes you angry. Forgive them so you won't hate yourself. Over and out. See you later alligator,,,
  11. Guess Who? Who? No I asked Guess Who. Thinking of The Who. Now who do you think this is? Go ahead and guess,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. No. It’s The who. Good guess though. Can you guess who this is? No. Who? It’s The Guess Who. More Guess Who,,,, Who? No, Just guess who,,,, The Guess Who, I guess. Here’s some more of The Who. No more guessing who.
  12. A excerpt from one of Cynthia Bourgeault’s online courses which is an excerpt from the Teachings brought forward by the mystic George Gurdjieff. Fifth Striving: "The striving always to assist the most rapid perfecting of other beings, both those similar to oneself and those of other forms, up to the degree of the sacred Martfotai, that is, up to the degree of self-individuality." The fifth striving may be one of the hardest as it places us in the position of a Teacher. Teaching can take many roles, from being a good parent, to sharing in a group, to being a guru with hundreds of disciples. Listen to your conscience and find your niche. As with every path of action, ego presents the greatest obstacle. Ego is like a stick with two ends. One end is the arrogant self-aggrandizing character, and the other is the meek self-deprecating character. What they have in common is their focus on the egoic self : "I am so great" or "I am so nothing." True humility balances the two and is the only place where selfless action can occur. Most of those who avoid the responsibility to teach use the egoic "I am so nothing" excuse. Do not underestimate your capabilities and do not be afraid to make a few mistakes. Teaching is the best way to learn. "When the Teacher is ready, the students appear." “Teaching is the best way to learn.“ - This is a statement which is also echoed in A Course in Miracles. ACIM and the Teachings brought forward by Gurdjieff are stressing the metaphorical interpretations of the New Testament.
  13. Let's be real reactive now Of course responding consciously is always the preferred and more beneficial way juxtaposed to the reactivity that comes from our untamed animal selves. The village Idiot is a wild card Joker and there are many varieties of them. Whatever town or metropolis you live in or nearby. Everyone takes their turn in this almost inevitable kind of reactivity. The crucial element in evolving is always the return to the state and station of Ordinary Idiot. Sometimes crow is served up by one's own hand, to be eaten. Sometimes not. Not all instances of return to Ordinary Idiot requires an apology to another Idiot or Egonaut. The freedom attained in apologizing to another and the forgiveness that comes from your own heart boosts its capacity for emanating. Forgiving yourself is vital. Forgiving another, when necessary, keeps you from hating yourself. Don't bury your hatred like a self deceptive Zen Devil. And the nature of self deception being what it is, makes for a huge hurtle. No matter your essence or personality type. Say for instance you find yourself feeling betrayed in some way. Then becoming reactive you hit your uncle with a charred hamburger patty and you scream at your favorite Aunt that she's a goddamn cu** from hell. It's unlikely that you suddenly recognize your foolishness and say, "Oh my goodness! Look at how badly I have erred and behaved. Let us sit in meditation or hold hands and pray." Usually it will take at least a day or so of reflection, pondering, and more importantly a period of some deep sleep with good REM cycles. I'm a Mars/jovial/solar (adrenal dominant) endocrine type. So I've had these unfortunate events happen to me that puts me into the category of raging asshole hypocrite at times. Don't be a torture to yourself and others by acting constantly like an egonaut or an objectively hopeless Idiot. When you can, try to remember yourself and eat crow as soon as you can do so sincerely. with love, Authentic Idiot sometimes aka Zigzag Idiot Good quotes on the phenomena of hatred- https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hatred