Zigzag Idiot

Thinking too much becomes a problem in itself. Juxtaposed to this is not thinking at all. Remembering that balance is not only key in thinking but also in sensing and feeling. Each in a proper balance according to the situation. Some people might scoff at the idea of me being a person interested in the idea of actualizing my potential. I eat a lot of chocolate ice cream. Why? Because I won’t be able to enjoy it after my body dies. Sugar is not very healthy in one’s diet. I don’t deny that fact. But I tolerate sugar better that some people. Yet sugar does add to one’s tendency for expressing negative emotions. I observe myself become quite negative at times. There are many reasons behind why we behave the way we do. What’s in our diet,,, How other people treat us,, Environmental stresses,,, How do you appear to other people? Do they know what your inner world is like? Here’s a rhetorical question for ya. How is your inner world?

@Natasha Tori Maru Thank you!

Hi Excuse me, uhh,, I wiped out my entire Journal a day or two ago. @Natasha Tori Maru , Do you think there’s some way I could get it back. I hit the hide and save button on the first page and gave no reason for doing so. Anyhow, please let me know if you need some more information. If it can’t be brought back,,, darn but on the other hand. There goes a lot of embarrassment for people who know me. Especially family. Either way, Thank you.

@SimpleGuy Thought you might enjoy this example of creative marketing,,,

In my mind a placeholder is someone so independent minded yet trustworthy that they act on one’s behalf when it’s needed while one is absent. They don’t seek influential power but act only from a place of benevolence. Their humility compliments their confidence like a cool breeze on a warm day. They are the good Samaritans who do not judge.

I just woke up from a dream. I had taken a load of tree length logs to sell. The place I sold them was where I used to market my cattle across the state line over in Oklahoma. Which is a strange idea,,,, I was standing out in the in the parking area talking with aqaintences when they called out to me over a loud speaker. “Mr. Smith, could you please move your truck? It’s holding up others in the unloading line,,,” She then went on to say- Your invoice and check are fastened to your truck. We thank you for your business. As I broke away from those who I had been chatting with I began to look in the direction of where I had parked. I found to my amazement that the invoice and check was about 10 feet by 50 feet in size which made my log truck look almost tiny in comparison. I hurried over and spoke with the owners of the marketplace for just a second as I started the truck and let it build air. End of dream.

What’s one of the last things that David Koresh said? ”is it hot in here or am I crazy?”

Technically, we are all narcissistic. At least at some point. As children we all have some degree of selfishness to grow out of. Which some/many never do. Narcissism = self absorption / self centered / self concerned It’s a basic ingredient for survival. Most of the finger pointing which so prevalent is for the most part towards those who exhibit pathological narcissism. What is this phenomena? Projection, mostly. More than likely. What’s missing with the accuser's? Integration and Individuation. These are people who have to identify others who are exhibiting the very thing which they can not admit to seeing in themselves. It’s normal self preservation. But there’s a lot going on there,,,,, we all have to deal with it and as always, it’s easier to see in others. That is both narcissistic tendencies and projection. Powerful phenomena to study in others so we can apply it to ourselves. This is an understanding which makes forgiveness possible or overlooking a possible grievance. Fundamental and Pathological Narcissism Fundamental narcissism, the specific and most central manifestation of the disconnection from the essential core of the self, the Presence of being, underlies all other forms of narcissism. Pathological narcissism is a distortion or an exaggeration of fundamental narcissism. Fundamental narcissism is an intrinsic property of the ego-self, which is the self as experienced in the dimension of conventional experience. The Point of Existence, pg. 91 Narcissism is the Loss of Essential Identity Narcissism is not simply alienation from being, but more specifically it is the loss of the Essential Identity. Given our discussion of the function of the Essential Identity to allow identification with one's true nature, it is clear that this loss is the central factor in our incapacity to know ourselves as Being, and thus, in our narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 148

Excerpt from Almaas Glossary Ego Development and Basic Distrust To the extent that the environment provides adequate holding, the child can develop in the context of a continuity of being that allows and supports the individuation of the soul—one’s unique embodiment of Being. Because there are degrees of holding and of impingement, and because no holding environment is without failures, we typically develop a real (essential) and false (egoic) self in varying proportions. Basic trust is usually not totally missing, but it is seldom complete. To have absolute basic trust is to be completely realized. //—————————————/ https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases

Hey, you know no one thing newly. You non-adversarial adverbial you. Until you do. When everything is one. There is no Knowing two. Until you do. Then time begins again and the world becomes ordinary dookie do. Do you realize real eyes realize real lies,,,,,,, Really? No. You knew no one thing anew. THEN YOU DO. Wake up. You know? You know that one eyed man in the land of the blind is three, but acts like he's one, not two. At once, he's being mechanical Jack, Queen who is all feeling and King of Intentionality of attention. This Being is borne anew from Borneo. You horny ole careless, carefree, yet careful you. THERE you are acting as if you don't give a care. But secretly,,,,,,, you do! But sometimes I don't. I'm a flawed human being and so are you. You are somewhat like me and I am somewhat like you. Can You observe yourself in the midst of negativity and stop. Sometimes I'm able to but not always. It's difficult. It's difficult to just observe and not get lost in self-criticism. This is the work.

To say this masterpiece evokes strong and varied feelings,,,, It's still an understatement.

A lot depends on the worldview of those who are around you. It invites trouble. Especially when you're surrounded by fundamentalists of any religion with exceptions. Referring to oneself as God or being one with God has a nuance to it that many people will overlook. To feel or experience it is one thing. It's cheapened when it's stated verbally. But perhaps not 100 percent of the time. I read everyone's response after I wrote what I did above. We're all close to understanding one another it seems.