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I was contemplating the other time about love . distinguishing love was my first experience in spirtuality. But all I know about love is this positive alien fulfilling feeling. But Then I thought what is love really ? , And I couldn't answer that and I am somewhat confused. How does God experience love . If it is not postive or alien or fulfilling then what is left from love?. And then I also asked why does God understand. Like why is not God just dump infinity ?

This was a very interesting collection of videos... thanks for sharing. Leaves me with a few things to think about... not about the war, but more about why I would rather have love and commission be given to mr.alien. Makes me wonder how deep and meaningful of conversations we could have had if an enlightened master spoke to mr.alien. *cough* not that the alien is a “he”

Right now, if I meditate, I feel like the universe will drop away. It doesn't sound that bad in words, but during the moment it brings fear. This has been happening for some time now ( 1-2 years) and I've sort of just danced around this issue and terminated my practice whenever it go this far. In the past year, I felt that I wasn't ready to take the leap into the unknown because I was still building my career and thought that this leap would fuck up my motivation, also there's nothing wrong with duality, why rush into the unknown? The unknown is right here waiting for me, I can jump in whenever I like. So I decided to hold it off. But now I have realized that the time to take spirituality seriously isn't in the future, its now, no matter the consequences. Because I've realized my life purpose is a purpose revolving around the absolute, not some dualistic facet of reality. Its not obvious where this will take me, but its deeply scary because it feels like the universe will drop away, there is a sensation of energy buzzing in consciousness when it happens, and it gets bigger and bigger. The fear gets bigger and bigger too. So I can't get myself to go further even if I continue to meditate, because the fear "omg what's going to happen! Am I going to die????? Omg what about my loved ones? Where will they go????" distracts my from focusing on the 3rd eye(I practice kriya yoga). But I must because the alternative is suffering and depression. On top of that, my wife is complaining saying that I'm turning into an alien. The fact that I can't get excited over gossip, all I want to do is immerse myself in nature, all psychological issues I look at them as if they are not big issues, are scaring her. Because she thinks they are big issues. Imagine what's going to happen if I jump into the unknown!? She's gonna freak. What to do?

Some people's reality and consciousness is so radically different they might as well be another species. You guys are underestimating just how radically different consciousness can be for humans. This is a common oversight because humans looks similar from outside appearances. But as you've been told, don't judge a book by its cover. This is what's happening with humans. Most humans simply assume that all humans are like them. This is a bad assumption unsupported by science, evolution, medicine, genetics, or other facts. It's as if you walk into a book store and treat all the books the same just because they are books. But there are huge differences between books even though they have a similar form. That similarity is superficial when you really dig into them. Some humans are like that donkey, they will never attain enlightenment. The reasons for this are nuanced and complex. Motivation is part of the equation. Most people do not have the motivation to do it. You cannot dismiss motivation as part of the "talent". Motivation is a huge factor. You cannot just train someone to be motivated about Truth. Yes, training helps, but there's much more to it than training. And who you can train also depends on who they are. Many people are untrainable. There is no reason whatsoever that all humans should be equally spiritually capable given how evolution works. The difference between a human and a donkey doesn't really exist. Brains evolve to become more and more capable of insight. There is no such thing as "a human brain" vs "a donkey brain". There is an infinite spectrum of brain structure -- from worms to aliens -- which allows for greater and greater insight capacity. I don't downplay any of that. That's all good and important. But my concern is not any of that. My concern is accessing the deepest level of consciousness and understanding. For that, training alone may not be enough for most people. That's all I'm saying. Not as similar as you imagine. Nowhere near 0.1% of the population is awake. It's way lower than that. And when it comes to truly understanding the deep structures of God, it's less than 0.0001%. I would estimate that less than 0.1% of awake people truly understand how deep awakening goes and all of its many facets. It's more important in spirituality than in getting women. Obviously if you look like Quasimodo that affects your chances attracting women. Although still not impossible. My biggest concern with the Red/Black Pill guys is that they use genetics as an excuse to not even try. They turn it into an egotistical ideology. Obviously I'm not saying that with spirituality. I'm not making some argument here about how you cannot realize God. I'm just saying your physiology plays an important role. So alter your physiology, alter your neurotransmitters! That is what spiritual technique is about. Yes, you ARE still limited as long as you have a human body. But, that doesn't mean you can't access the Absolute. You can. You can access it deeper and deeper levels and facets. Degrees of depth here do not contradict each other, rather they build on top of each other. It's like this: you can learn some math, it will be valid math, but that doesn't mean you've exhausted your understanding of math. Math goes very deep. As you go deeper into it, the old math is still valid. So in this way you are accessing Truth but you have not exhausted Truth, because Truth is infinite. Your understanding of math can deepen forever. It's hard to articulate that here for you. I have had extensive hour-long conversations with Shinzen, asking him all sorts of nuanced metaphysical questions and his replies did not fully satisfy me. I see him as having gaps in his understanding. For example, he does not hold that enlightenment is Absolute Truth. He still hangs on to aspects of materialism, holding enlightenment as a subjective thing. I do not think he understands what Truth or Consciousness really is. I also don't think he understandings what Love really is. Yes Yes If you think about it for a moment you should quickly realize that it must be possible to lose enlightenment because otherwise humans could not exist. To be human God MUST be able to lose awareness of itself as God. This is how you were born. And no matter how enlightened you get, you will eventually lose it in order to incarnate as a tree, worm, bird, human, alien, etc. You already have direct experience of being unawakened. How did you get there? Only one way: by losing your awakening. Everyone has lost their awakening, even the most enlightened people including Buddha and Jesus. Otherwise they could not awaken. Awakening is only possible because of unawakening. Nothing I said contradicts that. I never said he denies siddhis. I'm not just talking about siddhis in this thread. Trying some psychedelics doesn't mean much. It's a question of what one has become conscious of using them. Lots of people have tried psychedelics and have little understanding to show for it. My claim is not merely that Shinzen doesn't have all the possible siddihis. My claim is that his understanding of Truth itself is incomplete. He's not wrong, but it's not the deepest level. I'm not contradicting him, I'm just saying there's deeper understanding, deeper insight, deep consciousness. How it will help is a question of survival. That's not my interest. My interest is understanding reality for its own sake. Whether it helps or hurts is irrelevant to me. The Truth is whatever it is regardless of how it effects you. Any benefits that understanding of reality offers are secondary and beside the point (for me). The deeper one goes, the clearer it becomes who has and who hasn't gone that deep. The things I've realized cannot be put into words in any way whatsoever nor taught in any way whatsoever. And yet I can intuit that Shinzen Young and Ralston have not realized what I have realized. If that sounds arrogant to you, I understand. But it is what it is from my POV. Shinzen doesn't understand Truth. Ralston doesn't understand Love. To me, those are important oversights. I would not be satisfied missing either of those understandings. Obviously these are my understandings of their attainments. I could be wrong. I'm not saying you should believe me. I'm just stating my best understanding of the situation at this time. Certain things they have told me do not square up with my deepest realizations. And I will doubt all teachers before I doubt my own deepest realizations. If the choice comes down to trusting 5-MeO-DMT and DPT vs trusting Shinzen and Ralston, I will trust the neurotransmitters. And no, that is not materialism. Direct consciousness is king, and that's what the right neurotransmitters facilitate. No human teacher can take you that deep. All human teachers and teachings are to be questioned and doubted. Including of course myself. - - - - - - - - P.S. Nothing I said here should be used to entrench a victim mentality. Keep two things distinct in your mind: 1) the actual mechanics of how humans awaken, 2) any stories you come up with for why you cannot awaken and why should give up or not even try. I am talking about #1 in this thread. #2 is self-deception you gotta be very careful with. When it comes to genetics and physiology you gotta make the best of the hand you've been dealt. Playing a victim is not a smart move regardless of how bad your hand is.

@Aaron p Some sources of suffering/dissonance in the path for those who are seriously progressing 1) being a lone wolf. Not resonating with any relationship for a while 2) death of all preferrances and motivation for a while as the entire motivation system would eventually have to die and get reborn anew 3) popping of most fantasies, wants and certainties of the past like bubbles. 4) having moderate to heavy disorientation in self image as the elements get popped piece by piece..leaving a pale shadow of one's previous, precious self. Not recognizing oneself that much. Being alien to oneself. 5) a great uncertainty about future. A irksome fear of not finding any solid ground ever again! 6) just feeling meh from time to time. The existential meh. For no aparrent reason. Especially after waking up from sleep.

Yes, Rupert Spira talks about this as well. "As a man is, so he sees" When we used to condition ourselves as a body-mind, all our thoughts, actions and worldviews were colored by that distorted lens. Its not that we were actively having selfish thoughts. Rather, all those were a natural byproduct of how we knew ourselves. Same deal with self realization. When we remain as the Self, reality will naturally correspond in alignment to that. Its not an entity that actively 'tries' to outdo itself, embody things alien to itself and spread new vegan propagandas. Thats like putting the cart before the horse ?

@pluto Nah dude, lol the RA files are not something a kid can imagine up. It has to be an alien transmission. its too accurate an insight about oneness and enlightenment for a random person to come up with and write a whole report up about the conversation.

@Inliytened1 What people do is THEIR business not mine or yours, including what they believe. I’m simply asking you to stop proselytising. It derails the threads and is harmful to those that should be encouraged to think for themselves. This isn’t a complicated scenario. You wont be getting any sympathy or mercy from me given the claims you go around making. Am I trying to brainwash people? I certainly could be! But that’s for you and other people to determine, I know I’m not and I know what brainwashing looks like and as far as I know proselytising is far more consistent with brainwashing than simply sharing to others that I’ve come up with a technique to remove it. But don’t believe me, think critically about it for yourself. Contrary to yourself I won’t try and tell you what to believe, you could think I was an axe murderer or a demon sent here from an alien race to destroy mankind, I couldn’t give a fuck. I’m simply asking you to respect the space of others and my own by sharing content that is specific to the thread in a way that respects the critical thinking of others. Stop proselytising. I don’t want to read it or be influenced by it, and I am influenced by it even if I have you on ignore because you sometimes comment on the same thread. If you want to proselytise make a separate thread but don’t derail the threads of others.

How long did it take for you to stop grinding on actualized.org and start loving it? I love learning english although I had to grind on it for years before starting to love it. At first, english was an alien language, and learning it involved a lot of resistance. I had to fight resistance. Did you have to grind for the first few years, too?

Infinite Consciousness can take the form of an infinite number of entities or beings which can interact with each other. But all of this is being imagined by Infinite Consciousness. In the absolute sense, everything is one. In the relative sense, entities have their own existence. In this sense an alien or a spirit is no different than a human or an animal. The "physical" realm is only one out of an infinite number of realms populated by all sorts of beings. All these realms and beings are ultimately you. Just like in a dream.

Next thumbnail will be Donald in an orange robe with a DMT alien on his left arm, DPT spray in his right arm, standing on the Maslow's pyramid with corpses of devils behind him

I'm so Alien to this world, the laws we have never resonated with me. This dimension is like a drill to the skull.

I’ve counted them all up: This was my 13th ride on the psychedelic ferry. And it was an insightful one to say the least. If you want to skip straight to the trip, please feel free. However to those interested, I will provide some background. The last 4 of my trips really go together. It all started in April when I decided to trip again after a half year off. This one trip changed my life. And it told me 2 things (besides many others) that are crucial: Psychedlics are your path. Your path is the one of energy and purification. The subsequent trip was my first breakthrough to absolute infinity. And my last trip was a deeper insight into the mechanics of God and me becoming aware of the “One Eyeball seeing”. If you’re interested you can read them here (I’ve labeled them for my own reference): Creativity and Beauty | #10 Infinity | #11 The Pixel | #12 Now on to lucky number 13. Man. Where to begin. I will start off with the method of administration. I ground up the shrooms, put them in a tea bag and then followed @Nahm's Ginzing™ tea procedure. It worked like a charm and the peak was even longer than usual (felt like years but must have been a good solid hour of hanging around in the God Head). My intentions where: Who is aware of the “Pixel” (= God/the one eyeball seeing/that which within all dimensions and so on are contained)? What is the energy part of “Energy and Purification” (I figured out purification in #12). What is my role in this life time? The Trip: Like the last time I began a conversation with God after the come up. Again it asked me: “What do you want to learn?”. Again I stated my intentions. Again it showed me my impurities. Again I surrendered and admitted what I was suppressing (in this case feelings for a girl). Then again the real trip began. It started with my 3rd intention: “What is my role in this life time?” I also asked: “What is my medium or mode of creation?”. God proceded to state: “Art”. It was that simple. I tried to question it. I pondered it. But there was no fucking around. My life purpose is art. My soul’s yearning is creation. I am half warrior, half artist. It even showed me that my body was made out of the two halves (left = artistic, right = warrior) with my heart being the one of a warrior. It also showed me how to use my left hand. Following were visions of me living my purpose. I saw my designs and artworks on shirts and canvases. It also showed me sharing insights. It was beautiful. And what was also remarkable: I always kinda knew that I was an artist. And a particular scene came to mind: In Germany if you finish your school you go for a last test where you have to pick 4 classes which count double and will be tested extensively. I took art as my last one. And I got a B- for my sculpture. Years ago I could not belief why my teacher would do that as we were pretty close and the sculpture was good (imo lol). I then realized that this was his final teaching. I pretty much copied the sculpture I did in class months ago and with this grade he taught me to be original. He taught me I could do better than this. What a man. It turns out there are two modes of creativity: Copying something - Re-creation. Tapping into true imagination and God’s creativity - Creation. Don’t get me wrong, most art is copied and still great. However true creativity is something else entirely. That’s the art which moves mountains. Btw. I also revisited on of my first trips where encountered a Balrog in the realms of consciousness. Of course I don't know, but it seems that either the makers of the Lord of the Rings movies, or Tolkien himself has pounded some mushrooms. After that, this part of the trip seemed finished and proceeded to go pee. Once I returned I lied down and set my mind to the “Who is aware of the Pixel?” question. However I was put off by some roof worker hammering on top of my flat. Then something happended which still takes my breath away: There was a voice out of nowhere which said: “You know you can stop the noise, right?”. I was like: “What the fuck, how?”. It answered: “Remember”. The hammering stopped in that instance. What. The. Fuck. There is no “How”. God just wills it. I am remembering more and more how I built all of this. And how I engineered all of this so I forgot I did this. It is so ingenious. Holy fuck. I looked at my hand. I wanted to change it. It changed into a claw of some sort. Almost like a pig foot. I wanted to make it green and alien. I realized that there was an invisible “lock” on that. I couldn’t do it. HOWEVER I also realized that this lock was imaginary. It was my limiting belief (forget the personal development mumbo jumbo). And if I surrendered this belief I could literally turn my hand into a tentacle. Holy fuck. However now the real mindfuck commenced. I asked: “Who is aware of God?” “How can God be aware of itself”? The answer was: There is NOTHING to be aware of. Perception is a lie. Fuck. . I really wanted to use less swear words to keep this report classy but man… what a mindfuck. Later I also asked: What are all these thoughts in my head and what is the ego? The answer: Thoughts come from the field of infinite potential (which is HERE and NOW). They are made out of the one “stuff” call it consciousness. And they are illusory. That means: They create separation. God uses thoughts so you perceive yourself as other so that God can look at itself. Then it made itself forget that it did that so that Trump doesn't turn all cats into chickens, or worse And if theses thoughts recede you go back into oneness aka no separation. Holy fuck. It really does nothing to read this in a book. You gotta experience it first hand. Mushrooms taught me that over and over: If you read, it’s heresay. If you gain insight from the hand to hand combat of existence, it’s wisdom. Books are still crucial but there is no comparison. Then there was only one intention left: What is energy? The answer: There is nothing which is not energy. There is only one “stuff”. I really wanted to learn more, what the role of energy is for awakening, what the Kundalini is and so forth but I was to exhausted at this point. I just stayed in the Godhead, setting my intent to heal existence and ask some more questions however the main part of the trip was over. Only one more thing: If you think God is this serious, nihilistic “thing”... get that out of your head. God is playful and even humorous (yet also brutal in some sense that it uses evolution as its playground and paintbox). It played around in this trip. It joked at the beginning why I would not want to see some aliens (my intent was set on the above 3 things). And it also showed me how silly this notion is: We are humans. Living on rock. This rock is inhabitable by accident. Somehow life poofs into existence which is of course proven by science. And this rock is the only one which has intelligent live on it. Yeah, sure. Cool story bro. There are no accidents. None. Thank you. P.S. I planned to trip monthly but this is getting pretty intense and exhausting. If one of you experienced psychonauts has some insight into picking your pace and so on, I would be grateful. P.P.S. You might wonder, what these insights change in ones day to day life. Aren't they just some psychedelic "state"? Well no. What I can say with absolute certainty is that I've done 1-3 years of growing in the last 4 months. I am much more aware of the ego's trickery and I feel like I am becoming an embodiment of Love. I also feel much more joy on a daily basis. I respect every life form ten times more (e.g. if there is a pigeon or crow in my way, I step aside so I do not disturb it and I also watch my step avoiding to step on ants and so on).

@Leo Gura @Mikael89 Another thing to consider is that if you would see an Alien you might actually not recognize it for an Alien. It's easy to go watch TV and being presented an Alien to you in a TV show and be like, ahah that's an Alien. But if you would encounter one on the streets or in the woods or at the beach or something you might just recognize it off as an animal or a plant or a bug or something.

I really think we are just going to do an Exodus into space, harvesting other planets. Then we find some Alien life and pillage and enslave them. While we multiply like rats. Run into some particular strong Alien life, get into an intergalactic war with them. Then make peace. And go up into some United Nations Of Aliens. Kind of like the same development since the Europeans started exploring/colonizing the world. Went trough two world wars and started the European Union. It's just the same accordion effect. Who know the same might happen after that jumping trough different dimensions or something.

@Key Elements Yes everything is riding the ox backwards and nothing is riding the ox forward. but we always start needing to ride it forward this is part of "everything" so once you rid the ox backwards, you understand any phenomena that happens in experience is indeed consciousness and therefore possible, contained within the whole of absolute infinity, so there's no need to judge whether an action is possible. When your riding the ox backwards the ultimate aim is to say this following statement everything is true This means to leave your skeptical mind in the past, because it exist only in the moment of past/ future/ subjective appearance, all the things needed to get back to ox. But instead when your going back your not using your rational mind to figure out how its false, your using it to figure out how its real because it is entirely ABOLSUTELY TRUE, there is only aboslutely truth. Therefore to question whether there is an alien when your riding the ox backwards is a laughable notion, the answer is yes. Whether it exists as a concept ,within a movie , within a book you read or really out there in the stars. Its not to prove such a statement was false. We are talking about absolute perfection here , the need for everything to be as it is.. this occurs when nothing and something break down and that is nirvana ... the end of the 20 step process, enlightenment is the end of the 10 step process

Setting: (Peru) In the woods by a lake under a mountain. Solo 'ceremony' - lit some palo santo, sprayed some piri-piri fragrance (shipibo plant, not the chilli pepper). Dose: Eyeballed a lump?? Please note that this comes after 2 bufo experiences a few days before, neither were breakthroughs, one was nice, one was very difficult (both written on forum). Time: around 2pm So I halved the lump and then proceeded to put one half into the applicator before using it to blow hard up my right nostril. I then did the same with the remainder on the left nostril. The pain wasn't that bad (nowhere near how it's described online) and I feel it's all part of the experience, this discomfort grounds you and prepares you for the experience. I sat there being aware, waiting to see what would happen. The first signs were the trees and surroundings starting to get a bit more defined and wavey, and then I started to feel my skin getting hot, as if a rash was developing on my neck. This kept building and building until I realised I was feeling a really heavy bodyload. There were a lot of physical discomforts and I felt a pressure on my stomach which made me feel as though I would be sick (I never was). My body and brain were screaming for the discomforts to end - it was like when you're about to be sick and you're in that state of wanting the purge to come so you can relax. I endured this the best I could and it probably lasted around 30 minutes. Also, by 'the best I could' I mean I was half hating it thinking 'oh god why did I do this, fuck'. Whatever I looked at had a connection to the discomforts/sickness, they played off each other. It was almost unbearable at times but again I did my best to focus. I'm also glad I was reasonably secluded because even though I was sat up the whole time, I did let my head roll around and my body rock back and fourth when it felt it needed to so this would have looked weird to passers by. There was actually a guy sat nearby me but I don't think he could see me. So with all this happening I started to notice different things. With my eyes closed the visions were light but obvious; dark brown shapes that faded into the blackness were moving around crazily, so much that I decided to keep my eyes open. At some point I remember looking at the trees and bushes on the other side of the river, at this point I started hearing high frequency sounds that were repeating. Instantly I realised I was hearing the trees/bushes; they were saying something over and over again, in harmony. At times it sounded almost English but I think this was just my brain trying to decipher what they were saying. I then noticed more things were communicating with me - the water in the river, when it hit against the side of the bank it used this sound to say something (no idea what) but that was the only time I heard it - the trees were so goddamn loud. One thing here to add - I'm not one for crystals normally but I bought a moon stone whilst out here alongside other things of similar nature, mainly as reminders to stay connected which I think will help when I return home. I brought this with me to my little solo ceremony just to help set the mood and to see if I could use it in any way. Well I had the crazy closed eye visuals and I thought maybe this will help, so I closed my eyes, took the crystal in my hand and placed it in between my forehead/eyes (third eye) and instantly the visions calmed down which helped the experience as a whole. They also stayed that way for the duration. Now I can sit and analyse if it has any power, placebo effect etc but I think I'll just leave that one as it is - actually the whole experience I am just leaving as it is. It feels like there's not much my brain can actually do with re-living this experience other than possibly play or shut some things down, trying to rationalize them and this wasn't the point of the experience at all. Then, at some point this automatic communication seemed to come out of me which seemed to be what I could use to speak back out to nature. I started exhaling hard with my lips almost touching together which created this 'shoushhh' sound. This wasn't to shut the trees up, but naturally it felt like the method to communicate with them, like I was putting something back out there that they could receive. (Felt normal at the time, seems weird now but it honestly felt as though they could understand me and somehow I knew exactly how to communicate). I then noticed that just behind me there was singing which sounded child-like (no actual children around) and again the sounds produced seemed to exist on a different frequency plane (as did the whole experience). It was a very tribal sounding song, like an icaro, very catchy and seemed to have an intelligence behind it that could communicate to both humans and nature. I sang along quietly and at the time it felt like I would remember this song forever but now I can barely remember even the sound of a single word (the song wasn't in English, no idea what language - it was too faint to actually pick up on the words but the melody was obvious). Then at some point I felt things watching me, I felt someone behind me, watching me, and saw a shadow of some kind in my peripheral vision, this disappeared when I turned around. I turned back towards the river and then noticed the feeling again. Turning back around I realized I was surrounded by trees and I felt this overwhelming sense of intelligence/consciousness in each and every one. They were all watching me closely, towering over me, which actually made the forest seem quite overcrowded but I just sat there observing this feeling, seeing if it would go any further. So eventually I was kinda thinking it would be time to get up and go, but it just kept going on and on - new things kept arising that made me stay. I still can't believe how connecting making that sound from my mouth was - it really did feel as though I was communicating with the nature around me. So I sat there maybe another 20 minutes or so (time is hard to tell) making strange noises that and rolling around on the spot I was sat in before I noticed the feeling in my stomach that was there when I thought I was going to purge. I then started doing this breathing where I started at the pit of my stomach then dragged the breath all the way up before blowing out of my mouth (never done this before just felt natural). Well this breathing seemed to really enhance my state and I started feeling really light, also it felt like a purge of some kind, that I was bringing something bad out of my stomach. I then finally got up, stretched a bit, made some more noises and then made the first 'human' sound which was just a low grunt/hum and I remember out of everything that had happened, this was the thing that felt alien to me. It was as if I was now on a new plane, when really I was returning to normality. So I started walking back up the path to return to the hostel, thinking it was all over, however I began noticing that my awareness had shifted. I was feeling everything I was doing with great focus, walking felt amazing, just being in this body, feeling the air, the sky, the birds - everything. So I started doing some awareness work, feeling each sensation. I remember looking for the perceiver and it was at this point that it felt like I had just woken up in my body. So I still had a sense of ego but everything felt brand new to me and the person who had gone to the river initially no longer existed, this was a new sense that was completely amazed at everything in sight. I felt the leaves, looked at the floor, the rocks, everything. Concepts flew through my head as I looked at things and it just made everything hilarious. Hilarious because I felt like an alien walking around a foreign world, experiencing everything and thinking about how everything has a name, or even that things even exist in the first place. It all just seemed so bizarre, silly and also profound and full of love, like a big game. Thoughts would come and go, then when I gave attention to thoughts, I thought 'what is that thing that feels like it's in this head? Haha, why is it there? Why does this brain have thoughts coming to it? Where do they come from?' Again it just seemed hilarious and bizarre - this is a strange strange experience that seems to make no sense; 'why are there things everywhere??'. I remember looking at a tree and just thinking 'what the fuck is that!?' Although funny, some of these questions did take me deep and I had to sit down. I felt tears welling up in my eyes at times feeling a bliss and warmth come over me as when pondering, the thoughts seemed to vanish and me just being returned. There was also a point where I moved to a more secluded area (as I was trying not to cry by a footpath people were walking down) however I had intention to stay in this state and go further which completely returned me to normal for about 5 minutes before I managed to let go once more, breath and begin feeling my surroundings and body once more. Actually one thing that put me back there was laughing about how I seemed to have what felt like the holy grail in my hands and within an instant it seemed to have vanished forever, and even more so that I was trying to repeat the process to reach the state again. I remember thinking about my girlfriend which made me think about love. Love seemed so bizarre also. Now when I was pondering, it was more so without labels, I would half start a sentence and then I would just feel out the remainder of the pondering through awareness/feel if that makes sense. It felt more natural than language. I saw myself as, I guess, consciousness that was in a body. This is the closest label I can give it but at the time I had no label to give myself. So it was something like 'what is love? If I am a consciousness in this body, and another human is exactly the same thing, why do they come together to share love if we all are the same thing? We all are. Also why do we pick who we love - is this the construct of the different human characters that love each other or is it the different intentions that these characters put out into the world that draws them together. Either way it's weird as hell'. It was as if there was no reason for love in the way we have it because all we are is love/awareness already. The idea of announcing it just seemed so silly because everything is so obvious. This wasn't negative either, I teared up a lot again with this feeling running through me, and then I found this funny that humans have this response to love. In general the labels, concepts and reactions that we have seemed to be a running joke - this was because these things just seemed irrelevant in comparison to the truth/source. I didn't actually experience the truth/source and these might be the wrong words to use, they don't feel right to type, but it's the best I can come up with right now. Essentially I was in some form of elevated consciousness that brought me closer to the perceiver but not all the way there. I think I could have potentially gotten there if I sat and meditated intently but the experience was just too good to not play around with. It's hard to really pull everything out of this experience but I remember waking along the road and seeing a moto-taxi coming my way and going past me. Yes, the idea of this little vehicle thing made me laugh but then I thought god this walking stuff is pretty long, no wonder these things are here. I also saw a house on top of one of the mountains which just seemed hilarious also. My brain just couldn't seem to figure out why you would build something like that so high up - I couldn't see a single road leading up to it haha. I noticed more automatic actions that I did. I was holding a bottle - how did this get here? How is my hand doing that? Why doesn't it just fall? Why does it fall? What is fall? This was the thought process, everything just constantly being broken down until I either began tearing up or burst out laughing. I then walked into a field at the back of my hostel, at this point I looked at the floor and thought how is this floor here, why are my feet able to stand on it, why don't I fall through? This seemed to shake things up a bit and I started feeling a sense of matter dispersing around me but this didn't last long and I ended up sitting in the field. I then just had the same revelations coming to me over and over. Just peace, being and oneness. I thought about how I got to where I am, from being born, growing up etc - all things that seemed so alien and non-existent. I didn't know if they actually happened - I still can't tell. Did they happen? I was told they did but only the present moment exists so how can they be real? Is this present moment even real? Sure I had memories and thoughts arising but they were nothing more than that. Only the present moment seemed to matter and it seemed silly that experiences are influenced by these thought/memory things. It makes 0 sense as everything is alive and constantly changing. Again, I could not connect with the person that went to the river earlier on - that person felt completely gone and I questioned whether the physical body was the same or if it had been left somewhere. It's a strange feeling, I know I am the same person, I have the same name but it feels like a new something (I don't want to call this anything, there's no name for it) has entered my body and is now experiencing this life. Granted right at this very moment I feel more so of myself, but I can still feel that there has been a shift somewhere in my psyche, awareness, consciousness etc. (trying to type this without sounding like a new age hippie). One more thing here, I heard a noise coming from the hostel and instantly I felt an anxiety jolt come from the sound and travel into my stomach. It seemed to send this out. It was like a frequency/energetic zap that came straight to me, like my stomach was open for this stuff to enter into. I felt it and just thought right let's have a go at this. I closed my eyes and spoke to the things in my stomach, I said 'get out, why don't you come out?'. It replied 'no I'm staying' (haha this is so weird to type out). I then just thought okay it's stubborn, let's love it instead. So I started sending all this love to my stomach, loving the feeling being there where it was, cradling it and letting it know that the universe loves it and it has the ability to love everything else in the universe in equal measure. This brought on the vision of a black/white (etching on a cave style) person that was crouched down as if scared in a corner trying to hide itself. I kept re-assuring this thing that it was loved more than it will ever know and that it has the power to do for others. This completely shut up the dialogue I was previously having with it and I noticed a warmth on my stomach and torso develop as a result. It was at some point after this that I got up and went into the hostel to make food but the experience didn't stop there. Food and chopping up vegetables was just hilarious. Haha I think you get the idea now. I took the yopo around 2pm and it's now just gone 8pm and I still feel high as hell. Overall wow. Wow on the experience, wow that it lasted so long (yopo is only meant to last about an hour so I think it helped to trigger a shift which worked its way out of the experience once the yopo effects wore off. Writing this, I can't judge that they've worn off. I just feel so damn high). And wow if anyone read this entire thing. I just had to write it down, it was incredible and nothing at the same time. P.s. The stomach conversation is weird to read back.

I just got back from my 10 day meditation retreat. I signed up for the vippasana ones but got declined the past two years because I'm under 18. I got my mom to let me stay at her cabin for the retreat although I had to text my parents daily. I sat 6 hours a day. 4 hours vippasana 2 hours kriya yoga. I did this because I was sleeping a lot, cooking my own meals, and I wanted time to just sit informally. No fap no distractions so it was a legit retreat. It was a sick location, saw lots of wildlife. The first few days were super hard emotionally but that passed and the rest were brutal too. Halfway through the first day I was just planning when I would leave early. At the end of the second day I was doing kriya yoga and my body was pulsing with energy, at the top of the breath on kriya pranayama. I left my body and just felt a singularity of energy, and saw spinning red fractals. This happened again about half a dozen times. On the 6th day this happened and I think I entered some kind of state of cessation or some altered state. I came back to my body falling to the floor in a state of sheer confusion. It took me a while to figure out who I was or what I was doing. I think this was a result of the cessation of the narrative of the ego because I couldn't remember thinking or experiencing anything in that time. This state emerged after seeing the fractals and feeling the buzzing, and hearing alien clicking I might add, it felt before it like I was going through a tunnel. I also felt extremely, distractingly creative for some times, and experienced some pure joy for a while towards the second half of the retreat. The vippasana felt like a failure. I know it wasn't because I worked through the resistance that lingered through it. Regardless I never got into many deep meditative states from it because of all the emotional resistance physical pain, restless energy. My Question is whether this was a result of the low amount of the technique or if this is all fine and good for a first retreat, i.e. was this an error or part of the process.

Whoa, I just realized that the Bible is a description of earth becoming a holon! That seems obviously clear to me now. And the source of the Bible may have its origin in the galactic community of advanced civilizations. Haha, I know that that might seem like a science fiction story, but it fits the larger cosmic picture IMO. Even the claim many alternative researchers have made that earth is still in a planetary quarantine makes sense from that perspective. And that resolves Fermi's paradox: "The Fermi paradox is named after physicist Enrico Fermi and refers to the apparent contradiction between the lack of evidence for and various high probability estimates[1] of the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations elsewhere in the Milky Way galaxy.[2]" - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermi_paradox The reason for the lack of official ET contact is because our civilization is still under development and that there is a real "Prime Directive" making sure that planets like our own can develop in unique ways on their own without interference from advanced civilizations. "In the fictional universe of Star Trek, the Prime Directive (also known as "Starfleet General Order 1", "General Order 1", and the "non-interference directive") is a guiding principle of Starfleet, prohibiting its members from interfering with the internal and natural development of alien civilizations.[1] " - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_Directive The real Prime Directive is of course not as clunky and cartoonish as in Star Trek and controlled not by some authorities who whimsically can decide to break the Prime Directive or not but by a holon level principle.

Carmen Wispe, vegan, New Jersey 51, single,unemployed mom of a teen Self/truth seeker who has felt eternal and loving since about age 5, but soon realized that most people don't know how to act human or they act too human. Consequently, I felt like an alien. Came to Actualized via law of attraction videos my sister insisted I watch. I then read a bit of The Seth Books. Many years ago I came to the conclusion, on my own, that we are all a facet of god's personality , and when we die we "go back" to "him." There was once at a point where I thought that hell was this earth and it's ridiculousness. Soon realized this went against my loving grain. I became vegan for ethical reasons. Mostly a loner, yet I like being around others, and tend to analyze them while trying not to judge (hey, I'm only fucking human). Single because I'm a loner who's realized most men don't really want to get to know me, and I'm gonna buzz cut my hair to piss them all off, and go against society's "norms." In addition, having little hair will help me focus more on my inner work, instead of how I look. Have had dreams of past lives. Have seen shadow people. Things like that just run in my family. Presently, looking for my true passions. Hopefully, it'll lead to a niche where "work" feels like being in love, instead of feeling like a time-constrained puppet. Leo is hot, harsh and loving.

Roky Erickson of the 13th Floor Elevators said exactly the same thing shortly before changing his name by deed poll to "Blieb Alien", blieb being an anagram of bible. He also loved his psychedelics. Some would say perhaps a little too much...….

It is possible to learn how to read body language and tell if people are lying. People who are proficient at it can tell with 100% certainty, not even Leonardo DiCaprio could fool them. In this thread i will tell you some mind blowing information of the basics for how to do this and i will provide some sources for how to go on with further learning. The pro of learning this is that you can tell when people are lying to you in your life and you will be able to tell if politicians and public figures are telling the truth. For example: I can easily tell that Bob Lazar was being 100% honest on the Joe Rogan podcast, in which he detailed working with alien spacecraft on behalf of the US government. Fucking mindblowing. Basic techniques Eye direction - Where someones eyes are pointing show what part of their brain they're accessing. Shown here. (the diagram is mirrored and not flipped, meaning, from your perspective, remembered sound is to your right, but to your left for someone you are looking at. Try it yourself! have an inner dialog with yourself and notice how your eyes naturally start pointing downwards to the right. Remember how your way to the grocery store looks like and notice your eyes pointing upwards to the right. Feel in to how you are feeling right now, eyes goes downwards to the left. ETC. So for example, if someone is telling you about something they saw but their eyes goes in to visual construction, they are usually lying. Jerky vs smooth body movements - When people believe what they are saying they move their bodies in a very free, flowing fashion, their body "sings with them". On the other hand if they know that they are being dishonest their body language is stiff and jerky I think you gotta see this in action to understand. Check this out. Notice the subtle contrast of how jerkily he is moving his body around when he is saying "I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie. Not a single time. Never. These allegations are false.", which he knew was a lie, vs how smoothly he moves with his body when he then says "And I need to go back to work for the American people.", because he believes in that. Tells - When we feel stress we get the urge to touch ourselves as it calms us down, for example: interlocking fingers, touching our faces or crossing arms. We might also tense a part of our body, for example: wrinkled forehead, clenching hands or stiff spine. If we see this in people it is a sign of stress and if they only show that stress when saying a certain fact it could be a sign that they are lying. It could also mean other things, like, it might bring up old traumas. So unlike the first two techniques this one is unreliable unless you are very good at reading body language, but I wanted to mention it. Notice that on the Joe Rogan podcast, Bob Lazar always accessed the parts of his brain he said he was using. (Every time he told a story he was accessing visual memories, never visual construction. etc.) Notice also how his body never gets jerky when he is telling these stories. He was stiff due to this being a stressful situation for him and probably a little bit of social anxiety but he was never jerky. These 3 techniques are the 3 biggest concepts within body language theory i have come across but there are plenty more techniques and subtleties to learn. This is just the beginning! Where to go from here It's very valuable to see the professionals analyzing body language, that way you learn more techniques, get a feel for how to do it and the subtleties involved. I recommend starting with this youtube channel it is very well presented and accessible information and analysis of real situations: Then i recommend Mandy from Bombards Body Language. She is probably one of the most skilled at reading out there. Here is her youtube channel (her original one got taken down, probably because she exposed some powerful people), web site and her course. warning: Be careful about drawing conclusions about situations using these techniques unless you have lots practice. For example: someone could be telling a story and go in to visual construction for a split second. That could mean that he is making up a fact, but not necessarily. He could also have tried to come up with a joke for example. But also in other situations the conclusion can be obvious. This can be very subtle stuff.

It really all comes down to subconscious programming. If you suddenly decide to live in a way that's completely alien to your average day to day life for a little while, you will notice a huge shift quite rapidly. You end up completely altering the program into a whole new paradigm and overwriting the old subconscious programming because it is no longer being given by the same old patterns. This is why traveling is very effective for depressed people. It forces the subconscious with new patterns/programs from all the difference experiences that are occurring. Its no longer the same loop because you cannot really heal in the same place you got sick.

His ego would explode in a mushroom cloud large enough to wipe out the entire solar system Alien astronomers would see a burst in their night sky and wonder, WTF was that?

So according to Bob Lazar, there is ancient Tech which can produce anti gravity fields without wiring, letting vehicles fly and maneuvre like a red light dot in the dark. I think the guy is trustworthy, seems like the Gov. just didnt kill him in time, or was not prepared for such a leak in the past. So this was 1960-80s We have alien tech, gov is communicating with DMT entities (see crazy infowars) ah and btw you are God and reality is your imagination. Man I love this shit. I see why God wants to play, I want to play too. I think dualities are the most fundamental truth You want knowledge? Prepare for fear and loneliness, and ultimately not-knowing You want happiness? Prepare for sadness, discipline and consciousness, and ultimately conscious bliss You want freedom? Prepare for discipline and self government, ultimately self control You want to be financial free? Prepare to unlearn, uncover, run against a whole system, trust yourself, struggle and counter-intuitiveness