• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

About electroBeam

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Gender
  1. inquire deeper into what's wrong with your current state of mind. Inquire deeper into where the suffering is coming from.
  2. You also need to ask yourself what enlightenment means to you, because IT DEFINITELY DOES mean very different things to different people. What is it that you really want? What is it that you're looking for? And does what you're looking for even exist in the first place? Maybe inquiring into WHY you want enlightenment would be valuable. What is it about this concept/idea of enlightenment that's got you so rattled? What is that source that is making you want to be enlightened? Where is that source coming from? What does it feel like? Is it a thought? Who created it? You may find that some of your intentions are grounded on things which either aren't real, are not genuine or grounded on insecurities or some other egoic drive. When you go this direction, i.e. going really meta on what you're doing, what your motivations are, etc this tends to be the right way. Look at the direction you're taking now. Instead its coming up with a hypothesis developed through analysing the history of a renowned spiritual being, and then trying to validate that hypothesis. Seriously contemplate why you even need to be enlightened to be happy? Its no good saying its because Leo told you for example. Why isn't it? Can you verify why for yourself Knowingly/through being?
  3. @Ibn Sina Are you trying to figure out whether its possible to be enlightened and have a profession? Are you trying to figure whether the monastic lifestyle is a pre-requisite of enlightenment? The truth of the matter is, enlightenment doesn't come from doing one thing over the other thing. It doesn't come from meditating all day, or choosing a monastic lifestyle or whatever. It comes from the state of your psyche. It comes from how sincerely you want enlightenment, how much you admit your fault, what you don't know, exploring feelsings and emotions that are uncomfortable. The path to enlightenment is below your pre conceived ideas about what works for enlightenment or what doesn't. But the real question is, do you have the balls to inquire about your insecurity which is scared that its doing the wrong thing to get to enlightenment? Do you have the balls to look into that? Or are you going to use the concept of the monastic lifestyle, over thinking about the best strategy to enlightenment, to trick yourself into not contemplating this insecurity? Enlightenment doesn't come from a monastic lifestyle, it comes from you not having the balls to inquire on uncomfortable things.
  4. Look no matter how stupidly stubborn your parents are, deep down they are hurting inside about something and desire a deep love for you, a deep connection to you and their fear and irrationality is an expression of that hurt and desire to love you. In their mind, getting into drugs will cause you to be an addict and screw up your life is not a belief but a common sense reality. They fear for your safety, they want to connect with you/love you at a deep level by making sure you have the best life possible, and you taking drugs is a barrier to that love. That love is extremely strong and deep, they really want that love, they aren't going to let drugs get in the way of it, they will try anything to stop you. Simply demonstrate to them, not through words but through action, how its not a barrier. The specifics for doing that depend on your situation, but I can give you an example for further clarification. Have balls, and tell your parents openly the suffering you are having. You suffer depression maybe, you sincerely want to make the world a better place, you sincerely want to connect deeper with your parents. Talk frankly and honestly with them, to the point where they don't cry perhaps but are deeply touched by it. You know that psychedelics are a way for you to overcome that. You're not doing this for fun, for recreation, you're doing this to seriously relieve the deep suffering in your life. Thank your mum for worrying, really let her know you're not going to let her down. Stupidity is not you're intention. She will probably not accept it, but that's ok just be aware that all that anger and fear she has is really that deep down desire to love you, and just make it a mission to not let her down, and to help her get what she wants: to love you. Not with the intention of revenge, irritation or anger, but with the intention of helping and loving her, occasionally explain your experiences on psychedelics and how it helped you. Over time they will open up and come around. And eventually you will tap into what her issues are, how she's suffering deep down and want to change. And eventually you will be able to get her to do psychedelics too and live a happy life.
  5. There are some inconvenient truths about spiritual groups like this forum and face to face ones. Speaking purely objectively, a portion of people who get attracted to groups like this were not accepted in society for a multitude of reasons. For example they were weird, have outlandish beliefs or had outlandish values compared to common society. A large portion has been psychologically damaged from this experience: usually personality related disorders. For them to save face, they need a way to cover up these traumas, because just the thought of uncovering them brings them immeasurable pain. They need to find a way to feel what they lack: to feel like they belong, are not weird, don't have problems. One sneaky, clever lie is to tell themselves that they aren't accepted in society because they are 'special', above the rest. This one is especially rampant on this forum, observe and you will see. Forums like this, new age groups at large, are a way for them to cover up their traumas, and get what they lack or were rejected with in the past. They forget about society and fully immerse themselves into these little bubbles, putting these bubbles on a pedastool; telling themselves these bubbles are morally superior to their society, more intelligent. They must do this otherwise their egos would have to face the harsh facts that they are covering up psychological traumas. Having said that, there are genuine spiritual communities out there, and genuine people in spiritual communities, but you really need to distinguish the healthy from the unhealthy if you want to have a sober, good life. Using spiritual communities as a way of bypassing egoic problems is extremely rampant. Its generally moreso located in green stage, western new age communities, rather than traditional communities like Eastern ones(although they have different sets of problems to avoid). Just notice that structure of spiritual communities are generally designed to cover up egoic traumas that a group of people faced in the past, using new aged concepts, moralisation, superiority and other ideas to trick themselves into not building a healthy ego. EDIT: after reading Akash's comments I just remembered another sneaky ego trick. Having spiritual experiences, then projecting the idea that this spiritual experience is special, above the rest. Getting over excited about this spiritual experience, and then this leads to thinking that you are more special than the rest of society because you had this spiritual insight. Or maybe not thinking you are special, but thinking this community is more special than the rest of society, because you are having these spiritual experiences and all of your friends and family are not. Like if you want to be healthy, immerse yourself with ordinary society and enjoy it. Don't use this forum and its ideas to escape it. Connect with your parents, family, friends. Don't necessarily adopt their habits, but be the role model to them for how to live an extra-ordinary life. Be compassionate and love them. Be humble, don't show off your spiritual insights to anyone, understand their needs and problems and try to help them in any way you can. Much more boring this way? Can't think your some special spiritually gifted person this way? Good, then you know you're on track.
  6. mix it with harmala and then you can take it orally.
  7. I know there's a lot of people on here who are advanced in this work... this post isn't for you, its for the noobs. I actually don't meditate daily(usually 2-3 times a week) as I'm focusing on my career, but every now and then I stumble upon something interesting, and this is the most interesting thing to date - which is not personal to me, but others could benefit from. Before when I do self inquiry, it usually goes along the lines of: ok there is something perceiving the world. That's 'me'. I know 'me' is an illusion because Leo told me its an illusion, so I'm going to focus my awareness on that thing behind my eyes, and through my awareness, become 'aware' that this is an illusion. Sort of a prove its wrong by focusing your awareness on it. Don't do this - its a total misunderstanding of the practice. Instead, accept that you believe that the thing behind the eyes is perceiving the world, and that it contradicts what Leo and other vedantic teachers tell you. Now just ask yourself, what is the thing that's aware of that thing behind the eyes. Focus your awareness on getting the 'big picture' of what's going on. Just try and become aware of everything all at once, including the thing behind the eyes, the stuff happening in front of the eyes, and everything in between. Now just focus your awareness on understanding who is aware of all of this. Like if you think you are something - a soul behind the eyes perceiving the world, that's fine. Just try to be aware of that sensation. Focus a lot of awareness on that(and every other) sensation happening in awareness, and simultaneously focus your awareness on, who is aware of all of this. Try to focus really sharply on who is aware of all of this, while diffusely focusing on being aware of everything at once. If you get this simultaneously, that's gonna make sparks. just as another line of defense, you could also inquire about the sensations in awareness - what are they? Where did they come from? What are they made of? Are they real? C'mon. Just you need to make sure that you can simultaneously do the other stuff aswell, otherwise there's no point doing this. Also asking too many questions can lead to mental masturbation. The focus needs to be on getting in touch with 'what's real'. So the questions(or answers you come up with) cannot be the focus, it needs to be lazer focus on awareness itself, the questions are there to ensure you aren't getting trapped into mental masturbation. And most importantly, don't try to engineer the experience. Don't try to manipulate it to get bliss, or to get the experience/sensation that its an illusion just so you can pat your back on the shoulder that you became aware of what Leo said and tell yourself you had a successful meditation. ok once I did this, I realized duality isn't an illusion, its simply just a creation of God. Its a manifestation of God, a shallow level below God, but its not 'unreal'. I had a massive surge of kundalini infiltrate the entire awareness field, eyes twitched like crazy, body started vibrating and twitching a lot, and the entire dualistic sphere exploded like a bunch of dominos collapsing one after the other. This wont be useful to most of you, but I'm sure some of you it would.
  8. don't ask yourself any questions. Don't tell yourself to notice anything, don't tell yourself anything at all As soon as you do this, you are inviting thought and going down a downward spiral. practice focus. Get good at focus. Then before the practice, set your intention. What do you really want from this? Do you really sincerely want to find Yourself? Like really? Or you doing the practice just because Leo told you or to satisfy your spiritual ego... That's it! Enough bullshit! You want to realize yourself! Get excited, get appreciative, get grateful. Its it. Its finally it... Then observe the present moment with extreme intensity. Let go of the thoughts that come. Do not try to engineer the process or experience. Whatever comes up is perfect, its what's suppose to happen, its optimal for your growth. If thoughts keep coming up, then that's optimal and meant to happen, if you don't notice anything, then that's meant to happen and is optimal. With time, you will start to notice that you aren't perceiving reality, but reality is perceiving you. But if you don't notice this, that's perfect! The default experience is the best experience you could possibly have. Don't get angry, start thinking things aren't working or you're not doing the practice properly... all of these thoughts are extremely dangerous and will keep you stuck. Just some things I would have told my younger self. If you're like me then this will help immensely.
  9. what? What am I BS myself about? How does reality work then? What is entire spiritual growth? How do you do entire spiritual growth without meditating all day? But why would Allah and the Buddha go meditate in a cave then? Why do gurus disappear into the Himalayas? In my experience the strength of that vague feeling of gratitude is proportional to the amount of sincere meditation that is done during or before the noticing/being. Are you saying there is no need to increase the amount of sincere meditation? I don't get it.
  10. @zeroISinfinity yeah but there is much much much more than enlightenment. why dont You speed up the process to the max? What's stopping you? Are you (or You) ok with not speeding up the process? Do you feel guilty for not using your time as optimally as possible, for not unleashing your full potential, for wasting time by not putting in your best effort? Why aren't you positioning your life in a way where its entirely dedicated to understanding God in the deepest levels? Why aren't you putting in strategies for financial freedom(like investing in the stocks or making a startup) so that you can meditate all day? Why aren't you quitting your job and dedicating your whole life to an ashram? Is it all just fear and unconsciousness or is there more to it?
  11. I heard a koan/saying that said "if you meditate for 2 hours a day you will achieve enlightenment in 20 years, if you meditate 4 hours a day you will achieve enlightenment in 40 years" Then I see Leo say meditation retreats, i.e. meditating for 8 hours a day for a month, is necessary. If you were dying for the truth, and you had the financial freedom to meditate non stop everyday, would you do it?
  12. I've spent the last 4 years miserably and painfully searching for my life purpose. I've done Leo's course 4 times plus a few other ones. I have expertise knowledge of startups because I've made a successful one(which I naively like you thought could be high consciousness). And I've been through 2 accelerators and will probably be going through another one at the end of the year. Mine is a med tech startup, as altruistic of a startup as possible. I have spiritual friends who have attempted startups based off shamanism, vedantic teachings and 'conscious capitalism' values. I've implemented the ESG(environment, social, governance) + FDA processes into our startup. Our company have contacts in India, USA, Singapore. I've seen the macro and micro of startup life, and see the fundamental flaws with it which impede effective altruism. Especially in the United States and Singapore(especially Singapore!)
  13. Science is much better at solving that problem than infinite intelligence. This is a common mistake people on this forum make. duality is like waves, and non duality is like discovering what's under the waves. Just because you know what's at the bottom of the sea doesn't mean you know anything about waves. If you want to know more about waves, you need to use science. If you want to know what those waves are made of, you need infinite intelligence. another analogy is, just because you are a chemist doesn't mean you know how to attract girls, even though woman are made of atoms and chemicals. infinite intelligence is not superior to science, it just pokes reality from a different dimension, which has limitations. @Key Elements hahahah... startups are the opposite to high consciousness. startups are companies, and by governmental design must be low consciousness to survive. If you want to make a high consciousness startup, you must first do some governmental reforms. This is another common mistake on this forum... people think you can make a high consciousness startup. You can't. If you want to do anything high consciousness with business you need to look into changing laws and policies not making a business.
  14. I have not had what @Inliytened1 has described... feeling frozen in time. But an orange stage, computer science colleague of mine had that on weed and he freaked out! Its interesting how people on this forum describe experiences. They use the word 'one' a lot and 'i am everything' or I am 'blabla'. This isn't natural to my expression and don't know why. I have no natural urge to say I am the present moment. In my experience what 'I am' is irrelevant because the experience goes beyond identification itself. It may also mean I haven't experienced ego disidentification possibly. There have been 3 experiences of mine that are most interesting(the rest are not) 1. after first time doing holotropic breathe work there was something going on with the fucken trees around me... I could feel their 'liveness'. I don't know but they felt really really alive and intelligent. They felt like they had a very strong intelligence about them, a very strong presence, they glowed(not visibly but consciously) they were grand, impressive, they were alive! I was so close to identifying with a tree rather than a human, etc etc etc. I told me friend about my experience and this is what uttered out of my mouth "I could see the spirits in the trees". Now my experience was nothing like seeing spirits, but it was what my mouth uttered out... which makes me think maybe this is what shamans mean by spirits? 2. when I meditate I get a strong sense that... there is nothing outside of the present moment. This literally means the entire universe, galaxy etc are all in the present moment. All people on this forum are literally inside the present moment. This means a lot of stuff but it cannot be described. 3. Sensory deprivation. when I meditate sensory deprivation occurs and your consciousness zooms closer and closer into 'the source'. The best way you can describe this is 'the void'. I doubt anyone has experienced this before... but I have had the sensation of teleportation. Because of experience 2. it makes it possible to teleport. So you can bring different dualistic aspects of reality into your little self consciousness at will. Too hard to describe and no one has experienced it before though so no point discussing it too much. Another one that no one has experienced before... objects in duality have 'aliveness' a consciousness of their own. Rocks are alive, they feel just like us, there is no difference between us and a rock. They talk to you telepathically you're just not conscious of it... Its why your mood changes on a rainy day vs a sunny day... objects telepathically talk to you and during samadhi you can be a rock if you wanted too. @Jkris there are massive downsides to this way of life. It lacks love and creates too much masculinity which makes it hard to bring love into your life. If you are too the opposite way though you can start taking your experiences too seriously and get attached into crap.
  15. I'm just looking for people who would give me some DMT to be completely honest...