electroBeam

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  1. how was 5-meo-malt developed? I can't find it on the internet.
  2. Finally awakened, jeez that was a tough journey. So the tail end of it was, I started getting existential terror again. Which is what I got a lot back in mid 2020, yet this time it felt like another awakening, but it was a bit scary because i was feeling like the external world didn't exist, which freaked me out a bit. I also started forgetting time, what day it was and the date all sober, which again was a bit scary. It all started because i had figured out a way of dieting and also reducing my reliance on sex all with my mind. Instead of eating healthy food, I just started imagining eating healthy food. Instead of having sex I just started imagining that I was having sex. After doing this for a while, I couldn't tell the difference between my imagination and the external world, which scared me a bit because i felt like the external world was disappearing. Then I started getting this feeling that everything in the external world is my imagination and that the 2 aren't separate. So me imagining im eating a chocolate = me eating a chocolate in the external world. Which made the external world feel like a dream even more then it was. I also started getting a very strong sense that all the people in my life don't exist. They are empty surfaces. Which again freaked me out a bit. So if they are empty surfaces, then whose the one controlling those surfaces? Me or Universal Love. So the entire existence started feeling really really small because it was only me and Universal Love. I mistakenly started thinking that Universal Love was a magnificent woman energy who would manifest as different girls i liked, and people I spent time with, and that this magnificent woman energy was pretending to not know who she was and pretending to be other people, but deep down knew she was universal love energy/me. So all the people in my life just started seeming like the same universal love woman that im in love with/trying to get to, which again made things feel really small because its just me and her the entire time. Then all of a sudden the external world shattered and decomposed/deconstructed into feelings only. At the end of the day, the external world is a bunch of feelings, once you take the outer surfaces away. That kinda made me feel like eyes were a conspiracy theory, you can't see anything, just feel energy. These feelings took on the persona of different machine elves for a while, to help me understand the vast array of feelings and how they intertwine and work which gave me clarity even though machine elves was just more imagination. I get this on trips all the time, instead of the world being made of atoms, its made of fractals and machine elves all talking to each other, and them talking to each other is the different feelings you feel or different energy. Then finally the machine elves disappeared and feeling just decomposed into... feelings haha. I lost my desire to figure out what death was, and what happens when you die, because for me now, the desire to figure out what death is, is just feelings, which means its got nothing to do with figuring out death at all. Besides, death relies on the existence of the external world, death doesn't make sense when the external world shatters. Its just feelings doing things. Riding a bike is just feelings, getting shot in the head and reincarnating into different forms is just feelings, can use machine elves as a meditation aid to help you keep conscious of the feelings, but its just feelings. And its just feelings or another way of saying it, just understanding, pure understanding, pure abstract, external worldless, surfaceless, concreteless, conceptless, agendaless, egoless, understanding. Or pure love, whatever floats ya boat. Love doesn't resonate with me personally. So what happens when you die? The answer is inside the question, the question decomposes into feeling/understanding when you remove concepts and the external world and everything almost, and that's death too, feeling/understanding, like everything. The thing is, the deepest understanding is pure abstract feeling, so anything other then that is less deep, lool. And this experience has taught me that, all of my psychedelic trips were trying to tell me this and i just didn't get the message, but also that the key to a good life is to feel it. That's it, that's literally as deep as it gets. And it does get deeper and deeper and deeper, but it gets deeper through feeling more and more and more. I was kinda worried that if I didn't understand death in this lifetime, that i would suffer in the next lifetime, so i kept going hardcore at seeking what death was, little did I know that pursuing that quest was literally the realization of my worst fear/concern. HA! You can avoid suffering in your next lifetime, and do stuff like transfer prana to your next life to help you there, etc, but it comes from listening to feeling and getting good at dealing with feeling then it does any other way. This was an exceptionally long journey, 6 years about, and at the end of the day the answer was the simplest thing ever, yet radical radical stuff, crazy experiences, insanity, massive explosions of horror and bliss was all needed to finally accept and be this truth, because if i didn't go through all that crap, I would of been asking "what if..." "what if feeling isnt the answer" "what if its this instead" "what if its that instead" and then i would of drifted off, it takes a massively long and brutal journey to finally be satisfied with something so simple and to say "ah nah its definitely this, because i tried that, and that and this and the other and those don't work because..." And the other cool thing too is... have you noticed no matter how deep your realization, how high your psychedelic dose is, that its all just feeling? HA! Not shit Sherlock. I'm kinda satisfied now with the realization that God/the universe/consciousness is a sneaky beast who gives you the answers when you stop seeking them. Who gives you everything you want when you stop asking for them, who gives you all the understanding in the world when you stop trying to encapsulate her in an insight or an awakening experience! And you just let her be.
  3. Awakening is dangerous whether thats through high doses, low doses, yoga or meditation. "overdoing it", "stupid" and "dangerous" are self defense mechanisms that are being used to stop from crossing the threshold. If one ever lets go of those mechanisms, you will cross that threshold. No matter how much preparation or wisdom you have, when you're in that state that you go beyond the threshold, its physically dangerous. Everything stopping it from being physically dangerous is wiped away, necessarily. This isn't a choice, this is a necessary feature. I wish it wasn't this way, but I've seen it is. I'm not under the influence of self deception, this is of course the way it is. The biggest awakening is being shot in the heart, how is that not physically dangerous. Its not wrong to be ok with physical danger, or at least to recognize its limitations. What you fear from the outcome of physical danger is manifestation of devilry, its not caused by the physical danger itself. And that's why i know ill never jump off a balcony so long as I'm committed to the path of God. If you're genuine, you wont go through an adverse event. That's the bottom line, whether you do high doses or crazy things or not. If its for a genuine cause, its not going to happen. I do not agree or adhere to this need to cling to safety. I agree and adhere to saintly/genuineness vs devilry and lies and deception, but not safe vs dangerous, that dichotomy does not get you deep in this work. "Danger" will limit you at some point. The mind thinks anything godly is dangerous. And im fine to leave this place if that's not acceptable. But to be honest I think what you're preaching is a bit of the side of the devil. God definitely does not agree with you on this point, and told me that when I did cross that threshold.
  4. I'm not gonna be around here much so y'all don't have to worry, im on a different path now. Your reputation aint on the line. We'll have to agree to disagree. That was on a very big dose, and the 8 trips i did after that (yes those 2 trips happened ages ago) were no where near as dangerous. You aren't gonna discover the truth by being safe. You have to go on the edge. Sorry, that's the way it works. I didn't go too far, i was right on the edge, too far would of been jumping off the balcony. That trip was perfect. It maximized the risk vs reward perfectly, right before jumping off the balcony, excellent. And those trips have of course helped me massively in my life, so by not doing it, you're missing out. This forum here is a bit nooby, so im on a path now where i mingle with shamans who do extreme stuff, i guess it doesn't suit the newbie culture here. So i get that i cant really speak about that stuff on here, its too esoteric for y'all. you aint open minded enough for it. And some of the stuff that i do with my yoga insitution, again, it would seem too dangerous to you and you wouldnt allow that on here. and that's ok, because i wont be around much anyway. What i did wasn't stupid or reckless, i was very risk aware when i did it. You can lower your dose all you want, but unfortunately you gotta be extreme sometimes to see truths. You can spend a million years doing low doses of whatever, a guy who did 10x the dose as you will know things that you will never know. If you are interested in truth you gotta do it unfortunately. That's my stance, i get its not welcome here though, so i'll leave it as that.
  5. I of course did lower my dose after those 2 trips, not just because i can jump off a balcony (honestly not feeling too negative about that occurring) but because ive become a bit trip battle weary. anyway, i took only 1 gram of mushrooms after those 2 trips, and they were nearly as deep, so ive fucked my tolerance hahahah. And yes of course that trip did teach me i can fall off a balcony from tripping. I'm still glad i did those 2 higher doses though, dont regret it, what i saw was something barely any of my imaginary people will ever see, because they are either too scared, or actually did fall of a balcony, so im so grateful and lucky that i got to experience it. And going through those 2 trips have helped me with further trips, im now never gonna jump off a balcony (unless its salvia) because i know im gonna come back hahaha. The thing is, i really did think i crossed that threshold, and decided to do all that shit because i thought i did, but i came back and coming back burned me because i put a hole through the wall. So now when i hear you say, you're gonna take everyone with you, in my head im thinking, be careful thinking that, because you might prepare to never come back, and be burned to find out that you did hahahahahaha.
  6. Yep but... but what else is there other then dreaming? When hasn't life been a dream? When will it ever not be a dream? Is your work really beyond dreaming? Or is it just part of the dream? Can you really transcend the dream? How can you not dream? Not dreaming is like not being. "take everyone with you" ? Lol IDK Its more then just things "seeming to exist", awakening, crossing that threshold, is part of the dream. You come back from those trips where you cross the threshold, and that trip, that awakening, that realization, integrates with the dream. "if you keep dreaming stuff seems to exist" gets embedded into the dream. you've been here for eternity, you've crossed that threshold before. And here you are. Even if you reckon you'll achieve mahasamadhi, and physically die, and dissolve into a place where there's no time, no memory of anything in this world. After an infinite amount of time, you'll slowly get to a point where you'll dream up a time or equivalent. And this eternal dissolving forever and forgetting things, it doesn't need mahasamadhi, ive been there multiple times with trips ive had. I've been gone for millions of years, and here i am again. How do you know that crossing this threshold isn't just gonna give you a bigger awakening for this world? Like doesn't every awakening feel like you're gonna physically die and never come back? Or at least never come back to this life, what makes this one so special. Physical death is something i guess a lot of us don't want, we want the pseudo psychedelic or yoga/meditation death where you come back to this world afterwards. But really, the only thing that makes physical death so much more worse then ego death is its more destructive and horrible. Its not more true. Its like how we would prefer to keep our plates in the pantry instead of throwing them on the ground and breaking them, or preferring not to rape someone. We don't wanna throw plates on the ground, not because its more true, but because it sucks. Same with raping someone. So when you cross this threshold, will you really never come back? Is never coming back a requirement of truth, or rather is it simply a product of ignorance and unconsciousness, look at the people who physically die, they aren't the ones who know more about reality, they are the ignorant ones. Heck people even commit suicide. What you're so scared of doing, is something people who are a trillion times more ignorant then you, doing off of a whim. Maybe im misinterpreting you, and you aren't talking about physical death, but a special case of an awakening which will end the dream forever. I'm trying to understand what you're saying, but "ending the dream forever" sounds much more like a blockbuster movie then an actual awakening, in other words, sounds part of the dream.
  7. I haven't visited here much, but Leo was talking about something about crossing and taking everyone with him (which I already knew because when I was more active on here he talked about that) So I feel like sharing my experience on 6 grams of woodlovers called Psilocybe subaeruginosa, in Australia these are known as very dark versions of golden teachers. I'm especially sensitive to psychedelics (suprisingly hahaha, I use to think the opposite) so a dose tends to be 1.5-2x stronger. I am curious if @Leo Gura is talking about this experience, and if he isn't then WTF is he talking about. I'd be curious to know where this experience sits on the cone. I don't know how you go deeper then this, but if you can great. So heres my trip: So I had 2-3 trips of these subs beforehand, if you take psyches properly, they get more intense the more you take them, thats because they start getting really serious with you. So this was my 3rd or 4th trip with them and I took 6 grams dried. This experience happened after having "permanent" sober awakenings like no self realization and all the other stuff. So its beyond just being in a state of oneness. So I took the subs at 9am (I picked them from the ground so was a bit worried about eating posionous ones, but thats part of the fun, if you aren't willing to permanently physically die for truth then it aint for you IMO, sorry, will have that stance till the day i really do die hahahaha), and felt really shit as you do on big doses of mushrooms, felt like i was about to physically die and go to the hospital because ive just eaten some poisonous ones, felt horrible for letting my family down because they told me psyches were bad and they were right in the end, blabalbalbalba I had visions of being in the hospital for a period of time that felt like years but it would of been only 20 minutes, my flatmate looked worried and she monitored me for nausea symptoms, then left and went to the shops. I saw machine elves but they dissolved pretty quickly. Unexplainable hell endured, I went through every possible fear I could imagine. Everything from going to jail from taking this shit to never falling in love to regretting things, to letting my family down, contemplated the possibility of being "stuck" in an eternal hell of nothingness devoid of love forever, even contemplated the possibility that love was made up, which is possible on these high doses even if love is the greatest truth of all, its possible to enter those states its absolutely amazing. Then I checked the time and it was 3pm and I was like yes its nearly over. I stayed in my room because I have anxiety of talking to people on trips because i secretly feel bad for taking them, like I'm willing to physically die for the truth, but my family and everyone in hell, and that feels a bit shitty to me, but i have to do it anyway so i try and keep away from people while tripping, also dont wanna get locked up. Then I was like, wait what was i even going through, I totally forgot, wait what even is a poisonous mushroom, totally couldnt comprehend it, was so confused. Then I was like what in the actual fuck is "death", what the fuck was i worried about, I can't even remember. What day is it today? Checked the day and it was "suuuundayyy" what in the fuck is that. then i checked the time and it was 10am, and I was like, wait did I make that entire trip up in my head and it never happened. So then I waited for my flatmate to come home, but she didn't. So I mustered up the courage to walk outside my room, and she wasn't there (she's my ex, and we have a deep platonic connection) and not only that, but all of her photos on the wall were gone. I went wait this is really weird, she's not hanging on the wall, I looked at my phone and she was there in what'sapp but I totally forgot who she was. And I had this sense that I completely made her up. I thought about my mum, and I thought wait did I make her completely up too. I looked around the room, it was 10am (I had memories of it being 3pm and coming out of the trip)... and it was 10am and stuck at 10am. I was walking around my apartment, looking at everything, and the 10am didn't change. And not only that, but I totally became conscious that the entire past didn't happen, and that I didn't actually take any mushrooms. (No joke i really didn't), and I thought, wait if i didn't take any mushrooms, of fuck no that means im high forever, I've got this massive body load and im in this state forever. I had this sense that I was in my room, walking out of my room on repeat. As soon as I walked out of my room, I opened my eyes and i was in my room again, and walked out of it again. And every time, the mushrooms were telling me, there's nothing to fear, no one exists. I tried making the 10am clock go forward, and everytime i tried i just couldn't do it. And I remember thing, omg i can't move it forward because ive completely forgotten death, and i know something which prevents me from moving the clock forward and for my flatmate to be real. Oh no what have i done ive just broken consciousness. But then it got worse, because its not that i broke consciousness, its that consciousness was always like this, and my entire life, literally all of it, was constructed by me walking into my room and getting lost in a thought story... fucken hell all of my family, friends, spiritual path, infinite love enlightenment, jeeeeeeeeze that was all a thought story that i got lost in(for a few minutes hahaha). I went please no, please not this can't be real, i miss my life, i miss my friends, i miss my journey. And there was no controller so even if i tried i couldn't because consciousness was completely in control. I oscillated in an eternal loop between trying to manifest all of my friends and especially my flatmate, then realizing i couldn't because i wasn't in control and I knew that there's no death. So i tried, realized i couldn't, tried again, realized i couldn't, on and on and on. Then i realized (and this fucken hurt) that all my goals were impossible to achieve, because i couldn't understand any of my goals. Its impossible to understand your goals, because "singularity" and that you just pretend to understand your goals because thats the only way to make duality happen. I realized that i couldn't pinpoint what exactly I liked about sex, its just movements, but what is it about those movements that I like, I couldn't figure it out. Then i had to realize that there's nothing in sex, at all. That fucken hurt. And same with enlightenment and everything else. Then finally i accepted it, "alright, I'm god, that entire life was simply a few minutes of me in my room getting lost in a thought story, and none of it is real, ok i gotta man up, take responsibility for my consciousness and make something of this" So I got rice from my fridge, and threw it all over the floor. Next i put a massive dent in my wall, not like anyone's gonna notice, because all there is, is me. Next i went onto my balcony, and looked at the world like it was inception(the movie) my hair was blowing in the wind like leonardo dicaprio, I clinged onto the balcony fence hard like a monkey and wondered "what would happen if I jumped off, should I try? This is afterall my world, I can do whatever the fuck i want, and no one is around to stop me" I got the rest of my subs chewed em, and spat them all over the fence of my balcony. Chuckling to myself "hahahah what an illusion, that these things make you high, im high all the time and those subs(mushrooms) do nothing" Then last minute "nah wont jump off the balcony, that's boring" I felt suffering for not having a flatmate and for realizing my crush was imaginary. I saw how she was empty, hollow, literally like a rock. She was still, not there, her personality wasn't there, made it entirely up. I EVEN MADE UP THAT IM STRUGGLING WITH WOMEN, OH ITS WORSE THEN STRUGGLING, THEY ARENT EVEN FUCKEN THERE. HOW CAN I GET BETTER WITH WOMEN IF THEY ARENT EVEN THERE, FUCK THE STRUGGLING IS DISTRACTING ME FROM THE FACT THAT ILL NEVER ACHIEVE GETTING A WOMEN BECAUSE SHE AINT THERE. FUCK. As god, you gotta man up and take responsibility for it, who else will do it hahahahaahhahahahahahhaha. I messaged her and admitted that i liked her, because she aint real anyway. So I thought, well as im god i have to create a crush, so i went to my phone, and looked at her profile and all of her messages, as a way of my creating her. Then I checked all of my flatmate's messages, as a way of recreating her. And I wondered to myself, how the fuck am i ever gonna come back from this, i know too much hahahahaahahahahahahahahahahha (very crazy madness laugh wahahahahahahahahahahheheheehehhohohohohoho) yeah of course, its impossible to come back from this stupid. And then it dawned on me, its time to live a life where i know that im god and everything is made up. Enough thought stories in my room, dreaming up all that crap, time to just live knowing that they are completely hollow and made by me. I even thought about my gay friend, and I literally took on his voice and acted like him, embodied him, because i made him up so i could, he's asian, and i looked in the mirror, and i was acting exactly like an asian gay dude OF COURSE IM GOD I CAN DO THAT. So as i was recreating everything (while stepping in all the brown rice on the ground) i tried to put my hand through the wall, and i couldn't, i thought why the fuck can't i, this is stupid im god i can do anything. Then i started contemplating, well wait what if my belief of what god is, is wrong. Then i got this grand sense of a super computer, and that consciousness was a super computer. Then this super computer started creating my flatmate's aura, my crush's aura. Then it started creating the aura or subtle body of my body, and i was just going woooooow wooooooow woooooow wooooow I was there watching it create the auras/subtle bodies of everything, just watching it in shock, time was moving forward because of this aura I was there going wooow wooow wooow sitting on the couch and as i was doing that my flatmate walked in and went "WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE!!!! YOU PUT A HOLE IN THE WALL, OMG YOU RIPPED UP MY BOOK, OMG" and i was like, wait, but you're imaginary, you don't exist she still screaming " I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THIS" in my head im thinking "mushrooms, this aint fair, i cant believe you did this to me" But the bigger question i was thinking, how the actual fuck did i come back from an experience like that. That blew my mind. And nothing was the same after that trip, it was a humongous awakening, far bigger then whatever you've read about. The interesting thing is, I have so much balls, that I decided to try that stunt again, in a months time, this time with 3-4 grams of subs, but lemon teked. And let me tell you, I went to the same solopsis place of omg im all alone and my life is just my in my room doing a thought story, but i remembered, this happened before, it'll happen again, you'll come back, and lo and behold, here i am typing. What happened in that second trip was a trillion times deeper then what you've read above. It makes what ive written above seem like 5 seconds of meditation I can't explain all of it, but some bits of it were: 1. I started actually having delirium level hallucinations, like datura. I saw my parents come into my apartment, and after the trip they actually didnt, it was impossible to tell that it was a hallucination. Like datura. It happened in several occasions including i was watching a yoga video to ground myself, and another teacher came in and interrupted the lesson, after the trip i replayed the video and none of that happened. 2. I saw myself from a 3rd person perspective, and was controlling my body from a 3rd person perspective. I was literally stuck in time again, this this time it was a lot harder to make the clock move forward. Had to do a lot of stunts to get there, the mushrooms really challenged me. I had to watch myself walk backwards to make the time rewind backwards so that i could make it go forward again. 3. half of my phone chopped off as i was looking at the time, like a video game having rendering issues, half the phone was gone and i saw all the components inside it, after the trip there was no cracks to my phone. 4. I got stuck in an alternative universe for a while, when the trip ended the first time, my dad was dead, and died ages ago, that freaked me the fuck out, somehow i got back to this universe where my dad wasn't dead. and much much more.... after that trip i realized that consciousness goes deeper and deeper and there's no end. So Leo, this isn't the pinnacle? This isn't beyond the pinnacle?
  8. @Leo Gura you're not in control of your dream though, there's no controller. Does reaching a point make any sense in the context of there being no controller. This very ayahuasca like idea that you're becoming and progressing, does that idea make any sense when there's no controller. And yes, self/other is imaginary, but imaginary is still real. The pinnacle of the cone cannot exist without its base, and vice versa. This YOU, its not Leo, its me too. Its all of us. You can't collapse all of us(forever), because you aint in control. And we do exist, all of us exist, we are just imaginary. We exist as much as Leo/you exist. There's no hierarchy where your POV is more real them mine. Where Leo is more real then us. Its not true to say that your POV is the only POV that exists. I'm not sure what you're referring to, but I have crossed something which sounds exactly like what you're talking about. Did it on 13 grams of dried shrooms, then did it again but deeper on 8 grams of dried shrooms lemon teked. I'm still here though. You're still here, all the people are still here. I don't even think its possible to erase the cone, heck i dont think its possible to reincarnate into another form this way. I personally don't take the stance that there are others out there with their own POV, but i also don't take the stance that I am the only one that exists. I am the only one that exists is implying to me that you reckon the base doesn't exist and all there is, is the pinnacle. I take the stance that we are the only thing that exists, that stance recognises that you can experience both the base and the pinnacle, but you can't have 1 without the other.
  9. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-09-07/scott-morrison-fathers-day-sydney-canberra-hold-the-hose/100441258 A good articulation of how the ego is your biggest obstacle to enlightenment and achieving your dreams... with a fun twist that its written by a normie news corporation. Of course the news corporation hasn't noticed yet that they themselves are falling for the same trap.
  10. *thumbs up* You fricken genius I'm only sensitive to shit food and insults.
  11. What's the consensus about heavy metal toxicity and canned foods. There's clearly some research showing that canned foods are significantly toxic: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/consumer-group-says-canned-foods-still-contain-dangerous-chemical what I want to know more about though is are all cans bad equal? Is every can from every company bad for you? Or just some companies? I wanna know how toxic it would be for me to live off these: https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/700642?googleshop=true&store_code=woolworths_supermarkets_1351&cq_src=GOOGLE&cq_cmp=Woolies_8458_BAU_Shopping_LIA_F%26B Fresh_WW-0001&cq_con=Pantry&cq_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&cq_net=g&cq_plt=gp&cq_med=71700000084970415&cq_gclid=Cj0KCQjwpf2IBhDkARIsAGVo0D3PR1Su63rxqoiB1_eEvuK1ndXuFf_RTKEPBGGOqgXij9vbAi9Td0UaAp7bEALw_wcB&cmpid=smsm:ds:GOOGLE:Woolies_8458_BAU_Shopping_LIA_F%26B Fresh_WW-0001:PRODUCT_GROUP&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpf2IBhDkARIsAGVo0D3PR1Su63rxqoiB1_eEvuK1ndXuFf_RTKEPBGGOqgXij9vbAi9Td0UaAp7bEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds and these: https://www.woolworths.com.au/shop/productdetails/663584?googleshop=true&store_code=woolworths_supermarkets_1107&cq_src=GOOGLE&cq_cmp=Woolies_8458_BAU_Shopping_LIA_F%26B Everything Else_WW-0001&cq_con=Food %26 Beverages&cq_term=PRODUCT_GROUP&cq_net=g&cq_plt=gp&cq_med=71700000072477841&cq_gclid=Cj0KCQjwpf2IBhDkARIsAGVo0D3-Yu1BJSumttTzqh31XY9wiNUoxxea9JZLrNJmmvKD-Hd92sSUZv0aAidCEALw_wcB&cmpid=smsm:ds:GOOGLE:Woolies_8458_BAU_Shopping_LIA_F%26B Everything Else_WW-0001:PRODUCT_GROUP&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpf2IBhDkARIsAGVo0D3-Yu1BJSumttTzqh31XY9wiNUoxxea9JZLrNJmmvKD-Hd92sSUZv0aAidCEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds They are extremely cheap for healthy, organic food. Much cheaper then off the shelf organic vegetables and even cheaper then off the shelf non organic vegetables. However im worried about the toxicity because they are in cans. Man would be best of both worlds if you could get cheap, organic food, but maybe its too good to be true.
  12. thanks other posters excellent, awesome stuff, especially the concentration isn't directly attention stability. What's the difference between watching content about Rob Burbeas jhana retreat and actually going there and doing a real retreat. If you've been to one. How valuable is it compared simply to content, what can you get out of going to an actual retreat of his that you just can't emulate at home?
  13. The biggest challenges I have with concentration is, whenever i try and practice it, or get good at it, it feels disruptive, like its disrupting the flow of consciousness. Such disruptions are just not sustainable over a long period of time. The disruptions will eventually build up and put off your focus. I have also tried to just push through the disruptions, but unfortunately my brain is a bit right brainy, and works a hell of a lot better with systems that "go with the flow", "work with instead of against", more loving and compassionate in nature. It likes and works a lot better with holism rather than specialized pushing throughness. I need help getting more in touch with building awareness around how attention flows to different subjects of interest, and how to control it or influence it in a more loving sort of way. The end goal here is having the relevant training to influence to a certain degree, with master, of guiding or influencing awareness so that it focuses on things which bring me a high level of resonance, rather than focusing on a number of things, where a big chunk of those don't bring much resonance. I've tried do nothing and mindfulness meditation, and those tools are great, and I've done a heap of that, but those tools focus on alternative goals. I'm looking for systems and teachings which focus specifically on making concentration razor sharp, without the practice needing to be necessarily horrible.
  14. @RendHeaven what you're talking about is charisma, not game. You dont need any game, just the charisma on command course by your logic You can spend years just learning to master different types of social calibration. Maybe people on here just arent as into game as I am? If they dont care about mastering such minute details. Thanks! Shame Luke's videos have been taken off the internet.
  15. that was really elegantly and concisely written from my standpoint. Thankyou for putting the time into that. You went down and spoke at my level of understanding instead of trying to speak to me from above. That's really clarifying, particularly your recontextualization of creation and control. Put that text up on my computer wallpaper for a while to embody that.