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Prophet/Messenger 1. The desire of the negative spirit to break out of the sphere of pure impossibility creates the phenomenon of prophet within objective reality. 2. The phenomenon of prophet is a manifestation of that which is outside of reality. Which is pure impossibility. 3. Thus, the prophet is the first manifestation of a totally OTHER. 4. In the phenomenon of the prophet, the negative spirit expresses itself as the will to totally OTHER. 5. This will, expressed as a message, is a real thought about OTHER. 6. The subjective spirit cannot realize its actual birth without this thought. 7. In essence, the phenomenon of prophet within objective reality is the true birth of a subjective spirit. 8. In this birth, a fundamental conflict between the subjective and the objective transforms into immediate reality. 9. The prophet carries out an absolute opposition to objective being. 10. Therefore, the phenomenon of prophet does not remove and does not resolve the conflict between the subjective and objective. 11. The essence of the prophet excludes the very possibility of unity of both. 12. Prophet presupposes a metaphysical irreducibility of subjective and objective principles to each other. 13. The prophet is by no means a creature created by the space program of I. 14. This means that he is free from the universal mechanism of personal experience working on this program. 15. The intrinsic nature of the prophet basically excludes the very idea of perception and experience embodied in beings. 16. The internal nature of the prophet is fully alien to any ontological experience. 17. The prophet realises the absolute anti-mind nature of the subjective principle. 18. Therefore, his message cannot be the discovery of any ontologically rooted truths, including Truth from capital T. 19. The prophet carries out his appearance outside of cosmic duration. 20. The content of his message is out of touch with the objective rock. 21. The prophet comes contrary to the expectation in which the being abides. 22. His coming destroys the very foundations of universal hope. 23. His mission is not to heal a damaged being. 24. The mission of the prophet is the transformation of an insoluble conflict between subjective and objective into a merciless titanic confrontation. 25. In this confrontation, the subjective spirit can only be either totally destroyed or triumphed over objective being. 26. The death of the subjective spirit means the complete expulsion of the masculine principle from reality. 27. Reality, devoid of the masculine principle, is the complete triumph of universal arbitrariness, in which the very thought of OTHER disappears. 28. For objective being, the thought of OTHER is the essence of ontological sin. 29. Through the destruction of this only masculine thought, salvation of the damaged ontology is carried out. 30. Therefore, the prophet, as the embodiment of a subjective spirit, is in a titanic confrontation with the principle of salvation. 31. Orientation to the prophet means for the creature to abandon his share in objective reality. 32. In this denial within the being, the aspirations towards fantastic being are affirmed. 33. The aspiration towards the fantastic being is a secret thought which underlies the subjective principle. 34. This secret thought is an interpretation of reality from the outside. 35. Such an interpretation has nothing to do with how reality perceives itself. 36. The inner self-experience of reality is an explicit thought. 37. The overwhelming activity of the universal mind is embodied in this explicit thought. 38. As an explicit thought, reality is a direct consciousness of self-identity. 39. In contrast, a secret thought is a vision of reality from the point of view of a negative spirit. 40. In this vision, reality comes down to a purely relative moment, which is rooted on the universal arbitrariness or objective rock. 41. Reality, as an explicit thought about oneself, is a kind of anti-message from rock. 42. This anti-message is evidence that reality and absolute are mutually exclusive. 43. The true decoding of this anti-message is contained only in secret thought. 44. The secret thought in its vision of the true absolute proceeds from fundamental unreality of true absolute. 45. Therefore, the very vision of the true absolute is generally nothing more than a purely volitional or wilfull act. 46. This volitional act implies that only what is absent can be authentic. 47. Therefore, a purely volitional act, born of a secret thought, is an act of faith. 66. The faith monologue, having no answer, is oriented towards what can only be defined as HE. 67. The prospect of transcendental fulfillment of the subjective spirit is expressed in the pronoun HE. 68. A secret thought implies that HE is the personal embodiment of a complete split with the continuous homogeneity of the immanent oneness. 69. The monologue, whose center is HE, is the factual material of the true message. The core of it is: Say: HE, absent one, is Allah. 70. The pathos of the true message is that it rejects the achievement and affirms the accomplishment. 71. This accomplishment consists in replacing objective reality with a fully revealed subjective spirit. 72. This accomplishment is absolute awakening, as a triumph of prophetic mission. And this awakening has nothing to do with awakened nature of self-aware reality.

@Nate0068 I can totally agree with you. I sometimes get so weirded out by my own appearance that I actually feel as though I'am an alien not a human. Weird to describe it.

How dare you sir! The alien doesn't have a passport.

We are the aliens what the fucks the difference between a human and an alien none

Oh yeah, Arnold is totally a manly man, Conan and the Terminator!. If Arnold can get pregnant, the rest of men are just a bunch of pussies for not doing it too!! Ok, seriously, I do think there are two genders, but also that there are middle grounds, both biologically and culturally, even in humans. Gender roles are obviously non exclusive to each genders, I think even conservatives understand that, although not much in lower stage countries, in a lot of them women don't even drive. I think we get more open about gender matters as we evolve as societies, but some approaches are too radical too accept for some people. In spiral dynamics again, cannot be told to stages below orange that there are no genders, it can be even difficult for higher stages, it is in some degree for me. There is a famous transgender YouTuber called Blaire White, she gets attacked by stage green for not accepting non binary visions, but I do think she is adding a lot of value to stages bellow orange so they accept things like transgender identities, which is fine. So greens should let her do her thing, though she does attack their visions too, in defense of them, but couldn't be other way. So people who think that some things are unique to one gender. What about man boobs?? And what about back boobs? What the fuck are those, alien boobs?

Ok so... There's three options I can see.. 1) it was just a really cool dream that coincidentally sounds like the experiences you read about 2) he was actually abducted and they implanted his memory with a memory that 'it was all a dream' 3) perhaps all alien abductions actually take place in the astral realm, which is why these experiences are so hard to corroborate and can both feel real and dream like.

Okay, so I'm shook. I was talking with my dad and he told us at the dinner table about how he had a dream last night. In his dream, it was about aliens and it was our family (and others? idk) standing in a field, and we were waiting to be sucked up I guess, and he did. Then he told us that they weren't bad aliens, but that they wanted to make us more intelligent! Guys, this is crazy Months back I was reading "The three waves of volunteers and the new earth," and "The custodians," by dolores cannon, who channeled many many people and heard the same stories over and over again about things like this. And the story was basically that. Before, I didn't fully believe in this. Now my mind is set in that there's definitely more to the story. Any insights?? this is so cool.

@purerogue I’m very emapthically oriented toward seeing and feeling other experiences/perspectives. I‘m very curious about what it’s like to be other people - what it’s like to have their experience. And not just gender and race. I wonder what it’s like to be bi-polar, an Alaskan fisherman, a person in solitary confinement, insane, a genius, speaking Chinese, a pedophile, having multiple personality disorder, being an alien and on and on. I spend a lot of time contemplating it and at times experiencing it. And I have a natural ability to empathically connect. It’s both a curse and a gift. Sometimes I assume others also value this and would want this - yet this isn’t always the case. I think sometimes I may try to “help” someone by leading them to this end. Yet perhaps that isn’t always helpful to them. It seems pretty obvious that what I’m writing doesn’t resonate with you and isn’t something you are attracted toward. So it’s prolly best I step aside.

There was a post about fascism that leo put on his blog recently. Here are some of the key traits that lead to fascism. -The sense of overwhelming crisis beyond the reach of traditional solutions -The primacy of the group, to witch one has duties superior to evry right, weather individual or universal and the subordination of the individual to it. -The believe that ones group is a victim, a sentiment that justifies any action, without legal or moral limits, against its enemies, both internal and external. -Dread of the groups decline under the corrosive effects of individualistic liberalism, class conflict and alien influences. -The need for closer integration of a purer community, by consent if possible or by exclusionary violence if necessary. These are things I see both on the far right and the far left. I know fascism is associated with the right wing, for obvious historical reasons. And I am fine with it. But how do you call it than when it happens on the left. I am not sure if it is a result of green regressing to blue sometimes, or just blue mimicking green, but it certainly happens. On the other hand I understand @Leo Gura here. You got to pick your worries, stage red and blue broken BS is far more common in the greater world by many margins, so in that regard, it is there that most work lies. But still don't you thing we should observe and correct green when it gets things wrong, instead of sweeping it under the rug, after all its a fairly recent development, making it quite juvenile, compared to the quite old and because of it - reasonably readable orange/blue/red. Do we let kids run around the house playing with lighters just because we got to deal with grandpa beating grandma.

An alien interviewing a robot Zing!

4 grams, but you have to keep in mind that I am much more sensitive to all psychedelics than average people. About twice as sensitive. So 4g is probably closer to 6-8 grams. Yeah, it's a puzzle. 5-MeO certainly helps. But it's not the only factor. Perhaps even more important it the contemplation work. I find making sense of the trip very important. That clears things up in the mind, allowing for deeper trips every time as puzzles get resolved and settled. They definitely get existential insights but most people have such a poor theoretical foundation that they don't understand the significance of what the trips show them. They play around in it for a while but then they drop back down and the whole thing is treated as some wacky alien experience at a party. It's not taken seriously enough or deeply contemplated. And of course some people DO contemplate deeply even at raves and grow themselves spiritually. Just because it's a rave doesn't mean it can't transform you. Sounds like the trip took you exactly where you needed to go. If you are afraid of dogs, how are you gonna face death & God? You must slay that demon before going deeper. It varies. I always want to be tripping more but lack of time prevents it. I should be tripping more than I am. My intentions are to do a lot more research. Yes, absolutely. Yes, that's still something I'm tinkering with.

Looking at the "alien" thing for a few seconds is precisely the point. You want to wonder about what the hand is actually, beyond the labels and your perception of it. What is it prior to your interpretation of it, what is it made of, why is it there, how is it possible?

I've practiced only 15 hours of this exercise, but I don't want to invest 1000 hours in it and find out that I was doing it wrong. Do we have to only look at the hand and return attention to it after getting distracted by a thought? Thats it? If so, how is this different than a breath meditation? And the attention have to be put on a small point in the hand or in the whole hand (wider scope)? It is normal to feel like I'm looking at an alien thing for a few seconds, during the exercise? Thank you!

In his Conscious Politics series Leo talks about promotion and creation of a singular world government as part of his policy ideas, and it's been something I've been mulling over for the last while. Like many people I used to think such an idea was just a pie-in-the-sky fantasy that sounds nice on paper but ultimately wouldn't work and would cause more problems than it solves, but as I've been increasing my consciousness and looking at world issues on a deeper level, I've come to see the wisdom in such an idea. Think about it - as we move forward in the 21st century, the processes of globalisation, technology, immigration and so on are only going to increase, not decrease. Yes there will be obvious backlashes to these things, as we've already seen to some extent, but the conditions are such that the set-up for increasing global integration is more or less inevitable at this point. Plus, the collective issues the world faces - climate change, income inequality, national tensions - need to have broad, inter-national co-operation in order to solve, not just local governments trying to fix these things piecemeal. Not only that, but, based on what I've observed, a unified "global culture" is already starting to emerge, depending on the places you live and the people you interact with. You could meet, for instance, a woman born in India, raised in Spain, educated in the UK and now living with a Japanese husband in the US, and it will feel completely natural. The old idea of "solid," distinct nation-states that served humanity in the 19th and 20th centuries is starting to lose its cultural hegemony, IMO. So then let's talk about the benefits of increasing government integration between nations. If nations start to come together and operate in a more unified manner, the ability to distribute resources where they're needed will increase massively. For instance, if Canada and the US unite, you could drastically improve the health standards in Alberta by getting rid of the expensive taxes on imported medical technology from the US, which would do a lot to reduce the rates of cancer, heart disease, and so on in that province. Or if France and Germany united, then access to well-built German electric cars would improve dramatically for French drivers, which would do a lot to reduce emissions for France. Plus, if we are to get serious about space travel and colonising other planets, then the only realistic way to do that would be to have as much co-operation between countries as possible, and to share the most amount of resources, time, expertise, etc. possible, because such an undertaking will require these things on a level that a single nation alone wouldn't be able to accomplish. Another benefit would be the obvious reduced risk of war and conflict between nations. If, say, eventually India and Pakistan unite, then the threat of armed conflict between those two countries - as well as the endless blaming each other from both sides, and all the cultural tensions that exist between them - would disappear, as instead arguments over land and resources become mediated through the unified India-Pakistan authority, rather than through trying to negotiate between two different authorities. Of course there are downsides to this too. As national identity is still a key part of most people's psyches, telling people that they will now live in a nation with people who (for the time being) have a distinct language and culture to them won't go over well with a lot of people. Plus, the fact of the matter is that distinct local cultures will be hurt by this - for instance, using the France-Germany scenario, French people will begin to see more German beer, more German words, more German songs in the places they live, and in Germany people will begin to see more French wine, French words, French songs and so on. The ideas of "Frenchness" and "Germanness" would get muddied, and for a lot of people that will seem very alien and confusing, especially in the short term. But the benefits of this over the long-term would be that people begin to feel a sense of connectedness with people they previously didn't - after 50 years of France and Germany being one country, a person born to French parents would no longer see a person born to German parents as an "other", and would at that point probably share the same values, ideas, and even language (a French-German hybrid.) Plus, the two cultures coming together would create benefits too - Germans would learn to appreciate taking life easy and leisurely from French people, and French people would learn punctuality and industriousness from the Germans, which would improve the lives of both peoples. Or, to put it in other words, this new French-German synthesis would be greater than the sum of its parts. Now, obviously such ideas are still relatively far off in the future from happening in real life, but I think for us here at Actualized.org it's a good thing to start thinking about, since it'll help us clearly navigate the direction the world is headed. Prior to WW1 and 2, the idea of an international organisation that works to prevent wars and promote harmony wouldn't have been possible - the two most powerful countries in the world before this - the British Empire and the Germany Empire - would have never agreed to solve their disputes through an impartial international organistion, especially since they had such great success previously using force of arms instead, and the result was the two most destructive wars in human history. But then, the UN was created, and the mechanisms it utilises has helped prevent the two newest most powerful countries on the planet - the USA and the USSR - from going to war with each other. Instead, the UN helped the USA and USSR resolve its disputes diplomatically instead of military, and ended up presiding over the most peaceful and prosperous time in human history (despite some wars in hotspot regions during this time.) So if a Unified World Government seems unlikely or impractical, then just remember so did the UN, and the massive period of peace and prosperity it created. Yes, there will be problems with greater international integration, and no one is saying it will be an easy or straightforward process, but for the sake of humanity's long-term evolution and consciousness, I think it's actually one of the most realistic and practical things we can help create. What is everyone's thoughts on this?

@seeking_brilliance Never. I have no sleep related problems. Only experiences during sleep were 2 non-dual/nothingness dissolution a few months ago, though they were nice and simple. No energy stuff. This one had a strong alien/inhuman/freaky vibe to it.

@SunnyNewDay That's the problem. Very many therapists don't really have experience healing themselves, which makes them incapable of healing others. And if they come across as naive they OBVIOUSLY haven't healed their own issues, as it demonstrates a severe lack of empathy. Believing you are fully healed is also the biggest, and most common, form of denial. The large presence of unhealthy people in the psychiatric profession is a well-known phenomena. Long quote ahead. “It is often said that psychotherapists suffer from an emotional disturbance. My purpose so far has been to clarify the extent to which this assertion can be shown to have a basis in experience. The therapist’s sensibility, empathy, responsiveness, and powerful “antennae” indicate that as a child he probably used to fulfill other people’s needs and to repress his own. Of course, there is the theoretical possibility that a sensitive child could have had parents who did not need to misuse him—parents who saw him as he really was, understood him, and tolerated and respected his feelings. Although such a child would develop a healthy sense of security, one could hardly expect that he would later take up the profession of psychotherapy; that he would cultivate and develop his sensitivity to others to the same extent as those whose parents used them to gratify their own needs; and that he would ever be able to understand sufficiently—without the basis of experience—what it means to “have killed” one’s self. I think that our childhood fate can indeed enable us to practice psychotherapy, but only if we have been given the chance, through our own therapy, to live with the reality of our past and to give up the most flagrant of our illusions. This means tolerating the knowledge that, to avoid losing the “love” of our parents, we were compelled to gratify their unconscious needs at the cost of our own emotional development. It also means being able to experience the resentment and mourning aroused by our parents’ failure to fulfill our primary needs. If we have never consciously lived through this despair and the resulting rage, and have therefore never been able to work through it, we will be in danger of transferring this situation, which then would remain unconscious, onto our patients. It would not be surprising if our unconscious need should find no better way than to make use of a weaker person. Most readily available for exploitation are one’s own children or one’s patients, who at times are as obedient and as dependent on their therapists as children are on their parents. A patient with “antennae” for his therapist’s unconscious will react promptly. If he senses that it is important to his therapist to have patients who soon become autonomous and behave with self-confidence, he will quickly feel himself autonomous and react accordingly. He can do that; he can do anything that is expected of him. But because this autonomy is not genuine, it soon ends in depression. True autonomy is preceded by the experience of being dependent. True liberation can be found only beyond the deep ambivalence of infantile dependence. When he presents material that fits the therapist’s knowledge, concepts, and skills—and therefore also his expectations—the patient satisfies his therapists wish for approval, echo, understanding, and for being taken seriously. In this way the therapist exercises the same sort of unconscious manipulation as that to which he was exposed as a child. A child can never see through unconscious manipulation. It is like the air he breathes; he knows no other, and it appears to him to be the only breathable air. What happens if we don’t recognize the harmful quality of this air, even in adulthood? We will pass this harm on to others, while pretending that we are acting only for their own good. The more insight I gain into the unconscious manipulation of children by their parents, the more urgent it seems to me that we resolve our repression. Not only as parents but also as therapists, we must be willing to face our history. Only after painfully experiencing and accepting our own truth can we be free from the hope that we might still find an understanding, empathic “parent”—perhaps in a patient—who will be at our disposal. This temptation to seek a parent among our patients should not be underestimated; our own parents seldom or never listened to us with such rapt attention as our patients usually do, and they never revealed their inner world to us as clearly and honestly as do our patients at times. Only the never-ending work of mourning can help us from lapsing into the illusion that we have found the parent we once urgently needed—empathic and open, understanding and understandable, honest and available, helpful and loving, feeling, transparent, clear, without unintelligible contradictions. Such a parent was never ours, for a mother can react empathically only to the extent that she has become free of her own childhood; when she denies the vicissitudes of her early life, she wears invisible chains. Children who are intelligent, alert, attentive, sensitive, and completely attuned to the mothers well-being are entirely at her disposal. Transparent, clear, and reliable, they are easy to manipulate as long as their true self (their emotional world) remains in the cellar of the glass house in which they have to live—sometimes until puberty or until they come to therapy, and very often until they have become parents themselves. Robert, now thirty-one, could never be sad or cry as a child, without being aware that he was making his beloved mother unhappy and very unsure of herself. The extremely sensitive child felt himself warded off by his mother, who had been in a concentration camp as a child but had never spoken about it. Not until her son was grown up and could ask her questions did she tell him that she had been one of eighty children who had had to watch their parents going into the gas chambers and that not one child had cried. Because “cheerfulness” was the trait that had saved her life in childhood, her own children’s tears threatened her equilibrium. Throughout his childhood this son had tried to be cheerful. He could express glimpses of his true self and his feelings only in obsessive perversions, which seemed alien, shameful, and incomprehensible to him until he began to grasp their real meaning. One is totally defenseless against this sort of manipulation in childhood. The tragedy is that the parents too have no defense against it, as long as they refuse to face their own history. If the repression stays unresolved, the parents’ childhood tragedy is unconsciously continued on in their children. Another example may illustrate this more clearly. A father who as a child had often been frightened by the anxiety attacks of his periodically schizophrenic mother and was never given an explanation enjoyed telling his beloved small daughter gruesome stories. He always laughed at her fears and afterward comforted her with the words: “But it is only a made-up story. You don’t need to be scared, you are here with me.” In this way he could manipulate his child’s fear and have the feeling of being strong. His conscious wish was to give the child something valuable of which he himself had been deprived, namely protection, comfort, and explanations. But what he unconsciously handed on was his own childhood fear, the expectation of disaster, and the unanswered question (also from his childhood): Why does this person I love frighten me so much? Probably everybody has a more or less concealed inner chamber that she hides even from herself and in which the props of her childhood drama are to be found. Those who will be most affected by the contents of this hidden chamber are her children. When the mother was a child she hardly had a chance to understand what happened; she could only develop symptoms. As an adult in therapy, however, she can resolve these symptoms if she allows herself to feel what they were able to disguise: feelings of horror, indignation, despair, and helpless rage. Can it be an accident that Heinrich Pestalozzi—who was fatherless from his sixth year onward and emotionally neglected despite the presence of his mother and of a nurse—neglected his only son, although he was capable, on the other hand, of giving orphan children genuine warmth and fatherliness? This son was finally considered to be mentally defective, although he had been an intelligent child.* He died at the age of thirty. Both his life and his death caused Pestalozzi much pain and guilt (Ganz, 1966, Lavater-Sloman, 1977). It was also Pestalozzi who is reputed to have said: “You can drive the devil out of your garden but you will find him again in the garden of your son.” From "The Drama of the Gifted Child" by Alice Miller Most people getting into spirituality I think. If you read my post history you will see that I have warned against spiritual bypassing plentiful of times. But truth be told, you don't need a therapist to avoid this. And I do not generally consider this place a healthy place. Some people might have use of an artificially induced high, but I'd argue that is rarely the case. And you obviously don't need medications to avoid re traumatization. Even if someone have decided to go see a therapist I would advice them to read "The Tao of Fully Feeling" first. If not they might not be able to recognize a bad one. I could be talking about this for hours upon hours, but we are obviously set on our positions so I suggest we end it here.

Fluctuates from don't care to I feel like an alien. It's an annoyance.

The Most Supreme. The God. He said only, "Be." And surely I was. By pure will. By pure will only. No devil, no man, no fuckings alien, nothing and nobody... Is Higher than I. I am second to God. His very image. His very Creation. Yes, I'm the very evidence of God. You Atheists, having lost your one and only thing which makes you worth anything, can bet on that. Ay, I'm fully conscious of God. Ay, I have meet God Himself. You gurus can bet all your life on that. And I'm still being shy... Oh, God, I'm being shy.

The most Supreme said, "Be." And I was. I look and I look yet again! My body. My mind. All of me. Everything about me. I said, "Praise be to my Creator. In His Supreme image I was Created." I look at my love. I look at our love. Instantly, I become conscious... In His image was all Created. No man can touch my Supreme Perfection. No man, no alien, nothing could or can even imitate this Supreme Creation that I am..... None but GOD itself... None but God. Only God. Only God created me. Only God.

Main points (in bold) from Leo's video "The Dark Side Of Meditation" (... the rest) 16:28 Expect spiritual arrogance where you start to believe "oh yeah I've been meditating for a few years now, look at how unconscious everybody else is around me, look at all the unconscious stuff they do". And so you're going to develop that and you're going to probably go around and preach to those people and you're going to tell them "look you should do what I'm doing, meditate more and then you'll experience all this good stuff that I'm experiencing" but later you'll recognize that "oh, that's just me at an intermediate stage thinking that I'm at the highest stage but then later I realize that all that was just an intermediate stage, it wasn't nearly the highest stage". That spiritual arrogance was actually a function of my unconsciousness. 17:13 This whole list of stuff is all quite common stuff that you should definitely expect, don't be surprised at all if it happens to you, and not just once but repeatedly, in fact what you should start noticing is that it's a recurrent theme throughout long-term meditation, that this stuff starts coming up and some of it is very subtle, sometimes this stuff happens to you and you're not even making an immediate connection between you getting into a fight with your spouse and the fact that that stemmed from your meditation practice. Sometimes it's not an obvious connection, you only recognize it two days later after you've already gotten into a big argument because you went unconscious and you forgot about these warning signs that I gave you. 18:06 Now what's going on here? Why is there this negative stuff with meditation? Isn't meditation supposed to just make us spiritual and more conscious? Well it's a battle, it's a battle. Think about what's actually happening when you're meditating and when you're growing.To grow means you have to shed old patterns, old memories, old beliefs, old thought patterns. And how does that happen? Well your mind which is the entire collection of all that stuff, for it to grow, it needs to defragment itself and rearrange itself into a higher order smoother functioning system and how it does that is by purging and working through and defragmenting all the shit that's in your mind and if you're like the ordinary individual in mainstream society then your mind is filled with so much shit that you don't even know how much is in there. 19:25 It's everything you were taught since you were a kid, it's all the media that you ingested, it's all your religious scientific and political beliefs, it's everything your parents told you, it's everything your teachers told you, it's all the silly ideas that you thought were true when you were growing up, all the mistakes you've made, all the incorrect intuitions, all your fears, all that stuff and that's the deep core of your mind. You're not conscious of most of that stuff so when you're meditating you're actually forcing your mind not to consciously work through that but to unconsciously work through that, you are like literally defragmenting a hard drive. 20:08 But unlike therapy where you go to a therapist for years and you sit down on the couch and you talk and talk and talk about your problems that's logical, that's conscious. When you're meditating the exact same thing is happening as in therapy but it's happening automatically, unconsciously in your mind and the only signs of it that you're going to experience are these emotional swells, these mood swings, these reactions, this horniness, this depression, the sense of meaninglessness, that's how it's going to bubble up and you've got to be smart enough and vigilant enough and conscious enough to be aware that that's what's happening here in the bigger picture. 20:58 Always keep the bigger picture in mind, the best reframe you can have for this stuff is to see it as actually purging. This is actually called spiritual purification, you're purifying and purging all the toxic thoughts and emotions and that process isn't always pleasant but what's great about purification is that once the purification process completes itself then you're left with a relatively clean pure substance and then that is what is gonna be you 5, 10, 15 years from now, so you're not purified after a week of meditation, you're purified after a decade of meditation and the purification comes in waves. It's like you're purifying yourself for a few weeks, for a few months, and then some big obstacle comes in your way and you've got to really work through that and purge a lot of stuff and that's when you have your emotional freak-outs and mood swings. And then you purge that stuff after a few weeks and then you get back and things are going nice and smooth and now you're working at a higher level of consciousness until you hit the next obstacle, and then again there's going to be a few weeks of turmoil and then the next obstacle, and then the next obstacle, next obstacle. That's going to continue for years. 22:30 That's actually what you're aiming at with meditation. So the way that I reframe this in my mind is I tell myself when I'm experiencing something negative "oh this is actually a sign that I'm growing and that the process is working and I'm excited by that" and that is enough to mollify any kind of depression that I have or any kind of like self-doubt that I have about this whole process and that allows me to stay on track. Now you might think that that's bad enough, but actually I haven't gotten yet to the weirdest stuff. What I've talked about so far is I gave you a list of the common stuff. 23:14 Now let me give you a list of the really weird shit. Some of this stuff is incredible you won't believe it's possible until it happens to you so Here's some of the weird side-effects of meditation. 23:30 You can expect tingling, jerking, shaking and various pains throughout your body that feel very real. 23:39 You can expect to see lights and auras, bright lights of various kinds with your eyes open or with your eyes closed and they can be animated that can be very beautiful or very scary and menacing and they can look very lifelike. 24:01 You can also expect to see vivid sexual fantasies, you might even see fantasies of the opposite pole of your sexuality so if you're heterosexual you might start to see homosexual fantasies and they might be completely lifelike, not just a little daydream but like fully lifelike and of course those will tend to seduce you off the path. 24:34 You might start to behave like an animal like literally you might start to scratch yourself like an animal or crawl around on your knees or even howl howling like a wolf. Oh can you imagine that? You're sitting there meditating for weeks and then one day you just have this uncontrollable urge to start howling like a wolf and as you're doing that your spouse walks in the door. Yeah that's pretty awkward and now you've got some explaining to do and they look at you like you're going insane. "What is this meditation thing you're doing? It's turning you into an animal!" So expect that. I'm not saying that it'll necessarily happen to you but if it does don't be surprised by it. 25:22 Also expect paranormal phenomena to happen to you. What do I mean by this? That means reliving the past, having past-life experiences or seeing the future, having weird deja vu experiences, having full out-of-body experiences where you actually leave your body in a totally lifelike way and you travel to some sort of astral realm or different parts of the world and interact with various kinds of entities. 25:55 You might see spirits or hear spirits. 26:01 You might hear weird voices in your head and they can be totally lifelike, not imagined but totally lifelike. 26:12 You might actually see angels and demons, again not imagined but like standing before you completely real, as real as I look to you now, but it's going to be an angel or a fucking demon like out of a movie. 26:30 You might see gods, deities, giant crawling insects, praying mantis people, spirit animals that talk to you, try to tell you things or maybe that try to kill you, try to claw at you. 26:45 You might see entities, you might see aliens, you might feel like you're being channeled by some sort of extraterrestrial or that you're getting abducted or probed and all these experiences are not just like mere dreams, like a nightmare. It can be a lot more realistic feeling and looking than that. 27:09 So that's pretty weird and it's pretty far out but all this stuff is possible. And the reason it'll blindside you is because your present model of reality, if you haven't meditated for a long period of time, is that all this stuff is fiction and it's not possible. I mean how could this stuff be possible? But see you underestimate the power of your limited consciousness. When your consciousness rises, weird shit that you've never imagined all of a sudden starts to become possible. You start to become a lot more open-minded than you ever thought you would be. 27:47 And when this weird shit starts happening to you, well if you have this kind of dogmatic insistence that it's not possible, this is not supposed to happen, then you can imagine the sort of shock that you will be in. 28:01Also you might have Samadhi States. These are quite common, usually quite positive, but also they might shock you a little bit. A Samadhi state is when you actually stop existing as an individual body and you actually merge with objects like you might be looking at a lamp and you might actually merge and become that lamp, you might be looking at a car and merge and become that car, you might be looking at your spouse or your children and actually become your children literally, and that might freak you out. But generally this is something that's positive and you actually should be anticipating that if you're doing serious meditation. 28:44 You can even have a samadhi experience of emptiness or nothingness where you merge not with an object but with nothing, nothing at all. 28:55 You might also experience a Kundalini awakening which can be a freaky thing. A Kundalini awakening is when energy in your body gets concentrated then it sort of shoots up your spine into your head and then it explodes out of your head and that can be a very powerful experience. It can be beautiful but also it can be terrifying because it might feel like you're losing your mind and you actually have this weird energy moving through you and you start to behave as though your body is being controlled by a puppet master like you're not even in control of your body anymore. Your body is just moving on its own and you have no idea what the hell is controlling you. It's almost like you've been possessed. 29:44 Also you might experience a total blackout or "the Void". In Buddhism one way that they describe attainment on the path towards enlightenment is something called "neither perception nor not-perception", which is a state where you're sitting there and you're concentrating and meditating and then there's like a total erasure of reality. Physical reality stops existing for a while. Now in physical reality time that might be just a few seconds but in your time as you're sitting there and experiencing this it might feel like an eternity, like the entire world has vanished and disappeared, including your body and including yourself, and you're just sitting there as the void. That might be pretty freaky. 30:39 Also of course expect ego death. If you're serious about meditation, that's probably why you're doing it in the first place, to experience ego death. This would be something to look forward to but also ego death can be scary, can be freaky because it's probably not anything you imagined it to be. Your sense of reality will get shattered and it will expand in ways that are beyond your wildest imagination and the question is will you be open to that? Or are you not expecting it (and then that will really freak you out). 31:14 And probably the worst thing that can happen to you is "the dark night of the soul" which is basically when you start to see that everything you've ever believed and known about reality is false and completely delusional and you start to realize that reality is meaningless and purposeless, has no purpose and it has no meaning and that all your old creature comforts and everything that you've attached yourself to, all the meanings that you assigned to your family, to your career, to money, to your marriage, to your children, even to self-improvement, even to meditation, even to the pursuit of enlightenment, when you realize that all this is completely meaningless and you start to interpret that as a negative thing, you can get into the spiral of depression. That can get very dark and it's called "the dark night of the soul". 32:21 Now this isn't common but it can happen and in the worst situation it can lead to this depersonalization disorder where you actually start to feel like you don't exist as a person and you interpret that whole thing as negative but there are ways out of depersonalization disorder and there are ways out of the "dark soul". So again generally speaking, all this stuff that I'm talking about, you want to treat it as temporary phases, as just arisings or a bubbling up from your subconscious mind of stuff that you need to work through. so none of this is really ultimately negative. It's actually all very positive stuff but in the moment, for a few days, for a few weeks, it can feel very negative. 33:17 Alright so what do we do about all this stuff? What's the recommendation? Well if you talk to a serious meditation teacher or master or an enlightened master, their advice on this stuff is actually very simple. It's actually very easy to give good meditation advice. Here it is. Firstly just relax and realize that all this stuff is normal and that really it's no different than any other phenomenon that you're seeing around you. Seeing an alien is no different than seeing my face, it really doesn't matter, you're just attributing a different meaning to an alien because it's an alien, than to my face. And if you're seeing a demon or an angel, recognize that it's no different than seeing your car or seeing your mother or seeing a chipmunk at the park. It's really no different. The only difference is the meaning that you assigned to it and of course all your meanings are self constructed and a lot of them come from the ego. So as you start to unravel your ego this sort of weird shit will stop bothering you so much the way it does normal people. So just relax, that's step number one. 34:25 Step number two: remember, don't get distracted by this stuff. Remember what's going on here is that your ego is trying to maintain its sense of tyranny over your life. It's like you're trying to depose a dictator so when you're deposing a dictator what do you think happens? There's resistance, he fights back because he doesn't want to get deposed. Neither does your ego. Your ego and your mind and your brain are trying to maintain homeostasis so as you're pulling towards spiritual higher consciousness, it's pulling back in full force towards lower consciousness, towards egotism and the way that it does that is by sending these strong negative emotions at you, getting you to be afraid and by trying to distract you from your ultimate goal. And the only thing you got to do to stay on track, is just to keep meditating. That's really it, stay relaxed, keep your cool and just keep meditating. 35:31 If you start to break your meditation habits, that's when you know the ego has really won because that's all the ego wants. The ego wants to sabotage you, to get you to stop so that it can remain the tyrant in power. Remember that all this negative stuff is just a sign of real growth. Real growth doesn't always feel pretty the way you imagined. Newbies think of growth as positive stuff. Advanced practitioners know that growth is tough and that it requires emotional labor. That's what tells you that meditation is real and not just a fantasy because you are working through and it takes emotional labour to focus and to keep yourself on track and to not get distracted. 36:29 Remind yourself that this is a phase. Depression is a phase, seeing weird entities and aliens and demons and stuff, that's a phase, all this is stuff you will pass through. It's not going to last forever. Remember to trust yourself, trust your higher self, trust your original motivations for why you started doing meditation. If you have a thirst for enlightenment, trust in that. There's something there that will cut through all the bullshit, all the fear, all the egotism. 37:08 Also treat yourself with love and kindness on this journey. Meditation is not about disciplining yourself harshly and self-flagellation. It's supposed to be a process of self-love. You're doing this out of compassion and love for yourself so when you sit down to meditate, be kind be gentle on yourself, both mentally and physically. 37:34 It does no good for you to start to argue with yourself inside your mind, to start to create partitions in your mind where you say "oh this part of me is bad and this part of me is good, and the good part needs to discipline the bad part" No, all of that is just more ego games. 37:50 So a lot of times when I am very frustrated or I'm going through some sort of turbulent stuff during my meditation I just remember that "hey let me just calm down and relax, let me accept all this stuff, let me not resist any of it" because you know what, I know that in the bigger picture I have no control over it at all. All my negative emotions that come up I have zero control over them and when I'm meditating, well I have zero control over that. My only job is just to sit here and to be mindful, that's it, and the self love is so deep that if I feel like I need a short break, I will take a short break. I will meditate less. You could even stop meditating for a week if you really need to; like if you feel like this meditation is completely destroying your career, or your relationship, make a calculated strategic move to take a break for a short time, but then of course with always the intention to come back. Because the greatest failure you could experience is if you get fed up and disgusted with meditation that you never want to come back anymore. Then you've let the ego win. It's accomplished its job. 39:06 And the last thing I would suggest is to read spiritual books. Read books from people who have meditated for decades, who can give you some tips and pointers and they can keep you inspired, they can keep you connected with your original motivation for why you're meditating and they can point out the different traps to you and the different ways that you can deal with those traps so that if you do ever experience a "dark night of the soul" for example you know which book to go to, where there's going to be a bunch of advice that tells you how to deal with a "dark night of the soul". You don't want to get caught off guard by that. All right, that's it those are my tips. 39:40 Meditation does have a dark side but remember that actually the bigger the dark side the bigger the purer the spiritual purification that you will experience and the higher your consciousness will ultimately go so all this stuff is ultimately very positive so don't despair, stay on track and if you don't have a meditation yet, make sure you install it first thing starting today or starting tomorrow.

What strong entheogen's but still sub-breakthrough experiences thought me is that: ok, you felt like you were surely gonna die, the first time you even thought some alien would appear out of nowhere and torture you for a long time before doing so, so you tried to kill yourself and Synchronicities fucking saved you, then came the Avatar neighbor living upstairs banging on your ceiling at the perfect/right timings, then the dark entities (they never actually showed up physically yet though, same as for the aliens and the neighbor, very nice person if you meet him, lol), but now you are still alive and you have perfectly functioning hands to plug some 5-meo DMT up your ass (but I still didn't take a single breakthrough dose in my life yet and what's scary is that I don't know if I will ever take one in this life). Also, you get a "kick of relief" when surviving these experiences, see below. Taken from: https://www.reddit.com/r/speedruntonirvana/wiki/phase3 Homepage: https://www.reddit.com/r/speedruntonirvana/wiki/index

WTF?! Main points (in bold) from Leo's video The Dark Side Of Meditation You cannot be following actualized.org and not meditating, that's not going to work because the stuff I'm gonna be talking about is going completely over your head because you have no idea what awareness or consciousness really are and how little of it you have unless you've started meditating so that's for the newbies 01:01 but what I'm talking about in this episode is really some advice for those of you who've already installed the habit, have been meditating and are now starting to reach into the intermediate and advanced stages of meditation. So this means you've been meditating consistently every single day for at least six months or 12 months or a couple of years 01:25 what's going to happen is weird stuff will arise as you meditate and you will discover perhaps in a shocking way that meditation is not all rainbows and butterflies the way you initially assumed. Some of the stuff that comes up is freaky, weird and downright alien, and very negative sometimes and it can blindside you and sabotage your meditation habit so what I'm going to talk about here is the dark side, stuff that's counterintuitive, stuff that you would not expect to arise from a simple meditation habit. 02:10 So what is this stuff? Well there's a whole list. Now before I tell you all this stuff I want to preface it by saying that you're not necessarily going to encounter all this so don't go hunting for it because a lot of this stuff can be negative and if you don't experience it that's fine. These are like side effects. If a drug has side effects that means it can happen, it doesn't mean that it will happen to you, but if it does happen to you a lot of this stuff is very common, don't be surprised, you've been warned. 02:42 So firstly expect hyper annoyance and crankiness, this is very common and usually it comes in spells like you're meditating for weeks for weeks, everything's going great, you're becoming more calm and more peaceful and then you reach one week in your meditation routine where you're just annoyed by everything, hyper annoyed by little, little tiny insignificant things that you would think you're totally beyond, like the air- conditioning or the humming of your refrigerator will start to annoy the hell out of you or maybe your cat or dog will start to annoy the hell out of you for no reason and that might take you by surprise, or you just become cranky and you have this kind of spell of crankiness that lasts for a few days or for an entire week or maybe for an entire month. 03:38 Also expect hyper judgmentalism when you become hyper judgmental of everyone around you, especially people that are close to you like your family, your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your children, and so forth, expect that. It will come about in spells again, might last for a few days may last for a week, might last for a whole month and I don't want you to be blindsided by that. 04:04 Expect wild mood swings up and down that can last from days to weeks where you feel terrible or you feel really high like you're on cloud nine because you've been meditating now and you're getting growth and everything's feeling wonderful and you think that that's just how it is now, that's your new level, you think you've arrived but a few weeks pass and then you crash into some deep depression and you wonder to yourself "no no I've lost it. What happened? I thought I'd arrived" but see that was just a wrong expectation. The fact is you will have many wild mood swings throughout your entire meditation career so get used to that. 04:47 Also expect feelings of loneliness to come over you, sometimes expect feelings of disgust, anger and frustration and these can vary from very mild forms of these emotions to very, very heavy forms where you just feel like you're the most lonely isolated human being on the entire surface of the earth, or you're just completely pissed off and angry about the the political party and what it's doing to the country or whatever. 05:25 Expect crying, that's totally fine, nothing wrong with that, expect insomnia, sometimes you're going to have these manic episodes where we have a lot of energy come up and you're not going to be able to fall asleep because you're excited to either by new possibilities or you're agitated or anxious about something that might happen. 05:46 Expect depression and meaninglessness to wash over you. I can almost guarantee that if you're going to meditate for longer than a year that you will be hit by some serious spells of depression and that's totally normal, that's par for the course, and you will at times feel like your entire life is meaningless, everything you've done is meaningless, your family is meaningless, your career is meaningless, your relationships are meaningless, even meditation is meaningless and self-improvement is meaningless. You'll experience all this stuff, this is just par for the course. 06:35 Also expect to have interference with your work from your meditation habit. You're going to be meditating and meditating and then all of a sudden you realize "my work, my career, it's so meaningless. Why am I putting all this effort and all this emotional labor into it?" and so you might want to quit your career or you might get disgusted by it or whatever, that's totally normal and usually that comes and it passes so the trick with all these things is to not get triggered by them and then to make some sort of rash move as a reaction against just this negative emotional energy or this fear or self-doubt that's bubbling up from inside of you. 07:28 What meditation is doing is surfacing stuff from your deep subconscious mind and that stuff comes up to the surface but if you don't expect that then that's when you can get into trouble because you will then react against that stuff which is largely illusory, but then you reacting to it can cause some real damage in your life. 07:50 Also expect interference with relationships especially your closest intimate relationship with your spouse or your girlfriend or boyfriend and also your family relationships. You might feel like "oh what am I doing in this relationship? Why am I even married to this person? We're such a wrong match", and you're going to get all this kind of self-doubt going. That's totally normal. Expect some rash judgments, you might feel like "oh okay I gotta quit my job and I've got to get a divorce. I've gotta drop my family and my children and move to a cave in India" . You might have some sort of fantasy like that come into your mind while you're meditating and then you think "okay that's what I've got to do now" and then you go and actually do it, and the mistake is to act on that too quickly without letting that plan or this fantasy just kind of like work its way through you. Usually what'll happen is it'll pass in a few days so be aware of that. 08:53 And other kinds of rash judgments. You might have a rash judgment to sell your IRA and to liquidate all your stocks and all your assets and to donate all that money to charity and then if you act on that too quickly you might come to regret that. 09:11 Also expect suicidal thoughts. I can almost guarantee that if you are meditating effectively you will have more suicidal thoughts than you've probably ever had in your life and that's if you're a normal person. I'm not talking about suicidal people, I'm talking about totally normal people. Me from my meditation habit I never have really suicidal thoughts but from my meditation habit alone, the more I meditate the more suicidal thoughts I have, and that's totally fine. I recognize that. I don't take them very seriously and therefore they don't bother me but someone who's not expecting that could get freaked out by that and could actually maybe think that they're going to take action on it which could become a problem. 10:00 Expect some freak out moments. Some days you just start to freak out and you're not even sure why. You get into an argument with your spouse or your children for no good reason. You're just blaming them for stuff or you're agitated at them. You're snapping at them, you're being passive-aggressive, this sort of stuff. 10:17 Expect ego backlash. This will surely happen to you at one point or another and it'll happen many times and what I mean by ego backlash is that as you're meditating, you're dissolving your ego over time, that's basically what you're doing. But when the ego gets dissolved too much too fast, it tends to come back with even more force than it had before and starts to really behave in nasty petty egotistical ways which is exactly why you might start to get into arguments with people that otherwise you shouldn't have gotten into. 11:05 You might turn back to old habits that you've worked through already like you might go binging on ice cream and on greasy food even though you've already cleaned up your diet. You might go binge on television even though you've stopped watching television for years. You might go start doing drugs again or alcohol or smoking cigarettes even though you haven't done that for years. You might go on a sex binge and go sleep with a bunch of random strangers on one-night stands even though you don't usually do that. You might get addicted to money again. Maybe you've weaned yourself off the pursuit of money and the pursuit of success in business and then you've been meditating a lot and all of a sudden it's like "oh my business, I got to get back to my business, I gotta earn more money" and then you'll go and start chasing that again, so this is all stuff that I call ego backlash. And this can feel demoralizing because it feels like you're taking a step backwards because here you are meditating for years and now you're eating junk food, doing drugs and chasing money again. Like "what's this about? I thought I was supposed to be growing and becoming more spiritual and it seems like I'm just regressing?" but that's just a phase , that's something you have to work through and go further and what I've noticed is that every time I have a strong ego backlash if I am mindful and vigilant of it and just kind of avoid the most negative behaviors, try to limit the most negative behaviors possible with that backlash and just kind of monitor it then usually within a couple of weeks it dissolves and then I'm back better than ever. 12:51 So with all these things you have to understand that these are temporary and when we're told that meditation makes us more spiritual, makes us more aware, dissolves our ego and all this other good stuff, makes us calmer and happier that's true but only in the long run is that true. That's not true in the short run that's where people really go wrong is that they assume it is just going to be straighforward positive linear progression from the moment they start meditating and that's just completely unrealistic 13:27 Expect hyper horniness, sometimes you can be meditating and maybe you've got off porn and you stop having frivolous sex and then you just have this spell of incredible horniness and you want to like jerk off every day or you want to go have sex with a bunch of people and it's like you can't get it out of your system, it's just like you feel like this horniness coursing through you. 13:57 Expect old repressed memories to come bubbling up, stuff that you have completely forgotten about, stuff you might think you've worked through. It's gonna be some traumatic stuff especially if you had traumas in your childhood, stuff that you've repressed, stuff that was very negative, maybe examples like abuse, sexual abuse, any kind, like near-death experiences that you've had, bullying, humiliation, embarrassment, all this kind of stuff that you would normally not want to think about, that will come bubbling up, also family stuff will come bubbling up because many of your memories, the earliest memories, you have are of your childhood and especially if you had a turbulent childhood which wasn't all rainbows and butterflies then definitely expect that stuff to come up and definitely expect all sorts of family issues like mommy issues, daddy issues, sibling rivalries, resentments, all that kind of stuff. 15:07 Expect crazy monkey mind, expect sometimes to have waves of insanity and madness wash over you where you just feel like your mind is like a swarming hive of bees and the more you try to control it the more out-of-control it gets and you just sit down you try to meditate, you try to do your normal technique, and nothing is working none of your normal techniques of working expect self-doubt where you start to doubt yourself, you start to doubt your technique, like this technique has been working for months and now it just feels like "oh man this technique it's stopped working it's not working anymore". 15:57 Expect nightmares, weird dreams where in your dreams you're living out weird fantasies like having sex with your mother or killing people or butchering your dog with a cleaver or something like that, you know unpleasant images in your mind when you're sleeping. to be continued/...it gets worse ... **********

He uses his name together with dramatic headlines as click bait, true tabloid style. "Alien Bible Found! They worship Oprah!"

Isn't it still true even if it's not understood? If math is only relevant to human logic, than how else would an alien go about calculating something to build a spacecraft persay? I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around this.

this is an alien movie reference