mandyjw

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About mandyjw

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  1. You are the Master Baiter.
  2. Ok, so it was deeply ingrained in my head that I needed a man for salvation/enlightenment to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Little girl steals the Sesame street people from her sister several times and gets told she needs Jesus or she's going to hell. Then I found Leo, let go of Jesus, found Eckhart Tolle, realized what Jesus was actually, gravitated towards a couple men on the forum, had an awakening, and looked around with eyes of wonder and beginners eyes like a baby bird, and what did I see? Men. Every Tom, Dick and Harry, minus the Dick and Harry, Tom x2, one alive, one dead, cause Thomas means twin, so obviously your need two of them. Such a spiritual whore you are, Mary Magdalene. "I will make her male." JESUS! Universe, why you set me up like this? If you believe you're a woman, you'll believe you need a man. I just didn't realize that this was still happening! Yeah... it's not. I swear to God, I'd forgive you for this if it made a good story, but it doesn't, I mean it's just sad and confusing. You're the story teller. Tell a different story. This song keeps going through my head. Alright so what? This isn't exclusive to me or to women. We mix up need with love. We think being told we're needed is sweet sometimes and gag worthy other times. We try to avoid being needy. No one needs each other, everyone needs each other. We're back to the previous subject of boobs, and cookie monster, and my love of nature. Love the thing, don't miss it when it's gone. Cause it's not gone. Woah. I just remembered the name of a kid I was friends with in grade school and he was an athirst but his name meant Christ Needy. I just spelled atheist as athirst. Oh God. I've just been creating this, creating the need and creating the solution. I can stop doing that. What do I want to create?
  3. Inner Being/God/Mother, I have a bone to pick with you. All these Princes you've sent to rescue me from my tower have been a disappointment. I sent you a ton of strong women today though. Yes, you did. It was quite something actually. You created that. I did. Am I lesbian or something? No, but I am. Oh, right. Ooooo...! thunder. I've really had a very fun day. Some old thinking patterns, yes. Some problems I want to solve, yes. But just like I realized last night with the nature thing, a love is a love, not a problem, and yes I do want to realize that. I can't believe how blessed I am. I can't believe how much I have and how much I can never lose. Funny how when we get what we really want we say "I can't believe it!" I can't believe it. A love is a love. "I had some big belief busting experiences within a short time frame, the problem with describing them is that it almost always seems like it comes out as sort of like a bad and misleading representation. My dad describes a similar experience when his father passed away, I presume that there's window that opens during that time that is truly stunning if you're the slightest bit open to it. Makes me think of the curtain being torn after Jesus passes away in the Bible. The curtain being torn symbolized that ALL had free, clear access to God, and I think it just hit me why that was so significant. Great topic, thank you. " Wow. For some reason I started to write a poem today and wrote down words I was inspired by. Veil was one. It was the one I gave the most thought. And the song I loved so much by George Ezra, I listened to it again a few times today has the lines, When I dance alone, and the Suns's bleeding down Blame it on me When I lose control and the veil's overused Blame it on me What you're waiting for? What you're waiting for? WOW. Synchronicity with Jesus's death. Talk about being sold a Prince come to save you story. And really he just came to tell everyone that they didn't need saving. Oooo... the thunder! I love the thunder. I suppose a lightning bolt makes the sky look like it's torn in two. Ok Inner Being/God/Mother. I take it back. I'm not disappointed at all, just forgot mine own power/love for a moment. Didn't forget, you just thought you were somebody who needed rescuing. rescue (v.) c. 1300, from stem of Old French rescorre "protect, keep safe; free, deliver" (Modern French recourre), from re-, intensive prefix (see re-), + escourre "to cast off, discharge," from Latin excutere "to shake off, drive away," from ex "out" (see ex-) + -cutere, combining form of quatere "to shake" (see quash). Related: Rescued; rescuing. Alright, before i get the impulse to sing Taylor Swift songs... too late It's time for bed.
  4. @BipolarGrowth Thanks! I had some big belief busting experiences within a short time frame, the problem with describing them is that it almost always seems like it comes out as sort of like a bad and misleading representation. My dad describes a similar experience when his father passed away, I presume that there's window that opens during that time that is truly stunning if you're the slightest bit open to it. Makes me think of the curtain being torn after Jesus passes away in the Bible. The curtain being torn symbolized that ALL had free, clear access to God, and I think it just hit me why that was so significant. Great topic, thank you.
  5. If I had a short time to live, I would be SO excited about planning my funeral and picking out my casket and what I wanted planted on my grave. I know just the spot. Ohh... and the poems I'd want read and the music. Best f-ing funeral you ever attended. I'd also write a book about enlightenment and living your truth for my kids. And spend time with them obviously. Trip to Hawaii. Would leave some cool hidden shit all over the place for people to find mysteriously for a long time after.
  6. Funny that the "deeper" you go down the rabbit hole, the simpler and simpler things get. Amazing how much you can explain with a rubber band.
  7. Sometimes I buy name brand clothes and sometimes I buy clothes from Walmart. Sometimes you want one thing in the highest quality you can get, and other times you just want four of something. Also very often, the younger the woman the less jazzed she'll be about the Walmart scenario. But all women are unique. Just let her like what she likes. For God's sake it's her closet, not yours or Leo's.
  8. There's such a crazy surprising element of ass backwardsness to spiritual "progression". It'll make you laugh/cry. I guess it's just the unwinding in a belief of progression and progressing. time. It's already it, right here, always was. The winding up movement created the tension and the sense of movement, but it's just spinning, the movement not there. I think that's why trying to grasp one's progression drives people crazy. If there is true movement, how could you grasp it AND continue to allow it move at the same time?
  9. 👍 You could say that it's just realizing what's already the case, that emotions and minds already have no separate borders. There's a component of love and connection with someone that can be an opening to it. I was doing the practice of tonglen for a while and innocently did it the night my Grandmother passed away and that's when the giving/receiving duality really collapsed.
  10. Until you wish to perceive it differently. Outwardly, until enough women refuse to move to the back of the bus and enough police officers arresting them for their refusal to move to back of the bus realize that they feel like total horse's asses and refuse to act out orders based on an unfair, flawed assumption.
  11. Well, isn't the main objective to see those biases and prejudices? If we use the forum as a mirror and we have honest, open conversations together about tough, triggering subjects we can smooth out all those biases, limiting beliefs and prejudices that get in the way of relationships or our own successful endeavors. But if the objective is to sort of shore up a belief of "how things are" no one is going to agree or get anywhere because there is no actual "how things are" just your perception of things.
  12. @Raptorsin7 Ok, if you're honestly so concerned only about this group of incredibly successful women who have such high standards that they are just so so alone, like very rich lost little puppies, maybe we can all go rescue them. But I kinda got the idea that there was a whole nother discussion going on beyond just that.
  13. Sure, I've seen it happen successfully, a female artist I follow got a huge break and now employs her husband as a musician and what they create together is absolutely amazing. But the premise of this whole thread is that women's success is unattractive.
  14. I would want a competent man if I have a role for him in my endeavors. Otherwise, I just want some numb idiot with a nice face and a huge dick.