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About mandyjw

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  1. @soos_mite_ah How do you intuitively feel about it, what's your gut feeling?
  2. @charlie cho Some of my symptoms were very real, others weren't and they mysteriously disappeared as soon as I stopped giving thought to them. I had a doctor confirm one, send me for a test and then by the time I had the test the problem had almost completely vanished. It was a strange experience. This is a key realization, you cannot purposefully forget something. For example, when I was a little kid I used to bury toys in the sandbox so I could find them later. It was no fun unless I had forgotten them. So I'd try to forget. It doesn't work. You can only distract yourself with something you want to do more. Forgetting is not something we can do, but paradoxically just like the buried toys, if we make the intention, we CAN forget by focusing on something else, and only something we really WANT and enjoy focusing on will do. So you need to forget your health problems, which you can't do. I can tell you to just forget it, but you'll find that you cannot do that. It's like a little kid who just put freezie pops in the freezer and wants to stop suffering by being too impatient to wait for them to freeze. So make the intention to find something that you really want to do. Starting small when you have a lot of resistance is key. Then dream big, daringly big. At first you don't feel like watching Bugs Bunny, you want a goddamn freezie pop right now. But pretty soon you get laughing and before you know it, you have a nicely frozen freezie pop AND Bugs Bunny, and then what's next? Dreaming of how to get your first paper route.
  3. The essence of nonduality is that you CAN have your cake and eat it too.
  4. So appropriate or (not appropriate) here.
  5. Well, I've been trained all my life that my physical looks are my true, upmost value that I can offer mankind, so magically, no, not really!
  6. I think we can point the finger at @zeroISinfinity who notoriously makes hilariously inappropriate comments about his favorite male AND female gurus. He knows we love him so it's all good, except it would be nice if he saw the light and saved his drool for this own vision board or something. I felt like I was reacting, and went in later to delete my thumbs up post and mysteriously couldn't sign in to the forum after that, so oh well. Appreciation of beauty is good, appreciation is appreciation. Honestly though a lot of men kinda suck at actually listening to women, and one of the distractions is too much attention to looks and one is disregarding their value, and sometimes both go together. I mean, I do the same thing in my own way. Hated a male spiritual teacher at first who was really key and helpful later cause I didn't like his hair or his attitude or something, who knows. It's sort of a trap in the spiritual teaching world to judge the appearance and not listen. Ultimately it's not a gender prejudice issue at all. It also reminded me that a few weeks ago someone left this comment on one of my youtube videos. "Just wasted 2 mins of my life on this crap. This lady is clearly not okay. She’s blabbing some nonsense which no one can understand. I’m guessing that your tiny view rates probably comes from your good looks. Otherwise nobody would waste their time with this." People find all kinds of reasons to disregard themselves, which is essentially what the message is pointing to, and coming from... no one else.
  7. Well, lesson learned. Apparently no one on the forum is mature enough to handle a thread with the word "vagina" in the title.
  8. Oh, don't be fooled by Sadhguru's beard. Lots of effort goes in to looking super low maintenance.
  9. @Preety_India From my own experience, I think sometimes we protect ourselves from feeling and expressing the pain points of being female because we can feel other people's discomfort or disapproval when we do. So we try to pretend that we're immune, we pretend that we're cool. We laugh at jokes aimed at other women that we don't really think are funny. But we feel it, and we cover over it. And that perpetuates it. We sometimes look out for our own survival and approval from men, and skip speaking up when there is obvious inequality. Expression is good, but how you feel is the most important thing. It seems like for the most part, women want security while men want freedom, and it seems that these two desires are at odds, but they aren't. When women feel insecure and men feel like they aren't free, then lot's of pain and hurt is caused, and yeah, the brunt of it often seems to land on the woman because of the nature of those desires. In our actual experience though, freedom and security are the same thing, and love itself. This is the saving grace of the whole thing and the only real equality that's available. You can't all of sudden make yourself feel better about a topic that you're really feeling off about, so allow yourself that. People often assume that we can make that jump, but we can't. We have to go through the stages of expressing frustrations before we're ready to feel a bit better, and then a bit better again about something. Not in a pretend, covering over feelings but still privately, inwardly hurt way for the convenience of a male dominated forum, but for real. But just know, because you are so loved, your TRUE security IS your freedom and it's already in your hands. Empowerment and security is nothing you need anyone to hand you, because it is already yours. But there's certainly no shame in not feeling this right now.
  10. A metal straw keeps your teeth white. Don't demonize the coffee, that's how we create addictions out of minor issues in our head. Coffee isn't unhealthy for everyone, just pay attention to how it makes you feel. Pay attention to the positive reasons why you want to quit, having your own energy, having a clearer head, better sleep, etc. Also like others said, just cut back gradually, maybe cut 1/4 for a week, then another 1/4, then another. See how you feel.
  11. People will see what they want to see. Drop the thoughts about what other people are thinking, do what makes you happy and the feeling of joy and okayness is the real authenticity you're looking for. It's way better than any thought of your own authenticity or the question of it being accepted or not. People often associate receptivity with being feminine and they often associate free creative expression with being feminine. I don't believe that they really are inherently feminine. I think our culture just arbitrarily assigned them to one gender, sort of like the color pink. Is it possible that that's what you really want, to drop thoughts of what people think, to be receptive and to express yourself freely? Is it possible that you assume that this will make you perceived more like a girl? Do we actually know if that's the case until you allow yourself more freedom? I'm just saying, put feeling, joy and desire over identity and thoughts of "what will that make me if I do x, etc"
  12. My diet and exercise are all motivated not out of fear but because of how they make me feel. I choose healthy foods because of the way they make me feel. Sometimes it takes a little more awareness to notice how diet and exercise effects you in the short term. They key is to switch from being motivated out of fear of negative consequences. Either have positive motivation or just be aware. It takes practice. If you have a fearful thought switch the focus to what you DO want or how you do want to feel. In my experience hypochondria is very tied to a lack of self care, or a misunderstanding of what self care is. Basically, it comes from a lack of joy in your life. We often think that joy is just something we are entitled to and that arises completely on its own, and while that's true, most of us weren't taught that the paradox is that we have to make a conscious effort to foster joy in our life. When negative fearful thoughts are bothering us, it's a signal to find the opposite of that and focus on joy and inspiration. Joy and health is effortless only when we're not making the extra effort of worrying. Make a list of things that make you happy or sound fun to do, start with small things you can fit into your day and make a point to do two or three a day. Try a new food, call a friend, look up your favorite music video from seventh grade, read your favorite web comic, etc. Then when you're in a good mood start writing out bigger desires, for example, a career change, a big trip somewhere, getting a pet, learning to play an instrument, etc. When you're excited and fulfilled by life, even if it's just the little things in life, you won't be worrying about these things. In my case I got hypochondria the worst when I let my social life die almost completely. I fixed that and it went away. It's usually some aspect of self care and doing things for our own happiness that we have overlooked or thought we could just do without.
  13. There's also the issue that when someone has a sudden breakthrough, no matter how the means, they often require the guidance of an experienced open-minded teacher to ride it through safely. And right now, at this point in time an honest guru isn't always easy to find, so people can get very lost in our current psychiatry and medical systems that misunderstand spiritual awakening and instead they are diagnosed with a mental illness. It's easy to make youtube videos with great advice and guidance in general, it's harder to work one on one with someone. It requires a kind of mastery, love and dedication beyond public speaking. So to be safe and responsible, if you are a guru who has tons of followers that does not have the time to work one on one with students, it's more responsible to generally discourage people from techniques that could cause them to have a startling breakthrough, or a traumatic episode that they can't properly contextualize. Naturally as society changes, this will change too.
  14. It's not. No one imposes stigma on you for anything. You yourself choose to feel stigma and feel triggered by the opinions of others or to be free from it.